A/N - Please read!
It's doneeeee! Okay, so I know some of you wanted to see Sougo grovel but Kagura doesn't strike me as the person to make people do that. Kamui and Umibozu are prime examples. So, I hope you like the way I've written it.
This was the chapter I had most fun writing. I usually do an overall edit to check for flow but I couldn't do it for this one because I'm suuuuuper short on time and I won't have access to my laptop soon. So, if some parts seem choppy or abrupt, sorry!
Kagura had been wallowing in her misery, tears, and sweat for over a week. After shutting herself in her closet and sobbing for hours on end, she had passed out from exhaustion. Shinpachi had harshly woken her up two days later fearing she had become comatose from hunger. Gin-chan had thought that her pitiful face covered with tear-tracks had been a withdrawal symptom and run out to buy her Sukonbu. After coming back within minutes and showering her with an armful of her snack, he had started talking to Shinpachi about rehab centers in Edo.
Kagura had ignored them and headed to the washroom to freshen up. She'd brushed her teeth and washed her face on auto-pilot and when she'd returned to the room, she had seen that Shinpachi had laid out lunch on the table. Although she hadn't eaten in over two days, she wasn't hungry. But when she had told them that, their faces had reflected such alarm that Kagura had had no choice but to eat a few bowls just to alleviate their worries.
Throughout the meal, she had remained quiet, not in the mood for conversation. She had responded to Shinpachi's questions with one word answers and after some time, he'd given up on trying to get her to talk. Gin-chan hadn't asked her anything. He'd only taken one look at her face and started talking to Shinpachi about their dwindling expenses and how they would have to live on nothing but rice and soy sauce for the next month.
Later in the evening, she had been trying to block out her thoughts and her pain by trying to sleep, when someone had knocked on the closet door. She had ignored it, praying that whoever it was would go away if there was no response. But then Gin-chan's voice had come through the partition.
'Listen, I'm not going to ask if you're okay and I'm not going to ask you what's wrong because I know you'll come to me when you're ready. So you can take all the time you want. Cry until you can't any longer, until there's more snot dripping from your nose than tears falling from your eyes. Until your body and brain are so numbed that you can't think about anything anymore. Until going out and facing the world seems like a better option than shutting yourself from it. But when that's done, and you feel like you don't know where you're supposed to go next, just open this door. We'll be right here, waiting for you. And just that once, I'll even let you empty my bank account for all the food and Sukonbu you can eat.' She heard a hand rest on the door. 'Did you hear that? I know I said you can take your time but if you take really long, I'll spend all that money on pachinko. So come out quickly, yeah?'
His tone had been filled with the usual nonchalance, no sympathy or pity, but Kagura had lived with the man for five years and she could detect his underlying worry and love. His words had had managed to make her smile through her fresh onslaught of tears. It was as if his speech had been the signal her body had been waiting for to go all out.
That had been over four…maybe five days ago. Kagura had lost track of time. She had stayed cooped up in her closet, only coming out for bathroom breaks and to steal some food when she felt the need to eat, which hadn't been many times. But now that she had run out of Sukonbu, she had no choice but to get up and go out. She could have asked Gin-chan or Shinpachi to get it for her but they had been more than accommodating for the past few days. It had been a repeat of the time when she'd faked her illness. Although, this time, food and her other favorite items had randomly showed up outside her closet door without her asking for or requesting them. With each new offering, love and gratitude had bloomed in her heart, diminishing her pain by a small degree.
Kagura decided to take this opportunity to implement her two-day turned seven-day move on plan that she had completely forgotten about in her misery. She considered herself to be emotionally resilient. She didn't hold grudges because they took too much energy and she forgave people easily because she believed everybody deserved second chances. In this case, while she wasn't at the point where she could easily forget about what had happened and forgive the person involved, she did know that she didn't want to feel this way anymore.
The latest offerings outside her door, a shoujo manga she had been meaning to buy and steaming meat buns, had reminded her of the happy things in her life. She had been alone in the house, Gin-chan and Shinpachi had gone out on a job they'd talked about, and she'd taken her time in the shower. After scrubbing a week's worth of grime from her body and hair, she felt like a snake that had shed its skin as she stood in front of the mirror. Scrutinizing herself, she noticed her sunken cheeks, the hollows under her eyes, and her pale skin that had a tint of yellow underneath.
I look like Gin-chan does when he comes home drunk in the morning after losing everything at Pachinko and throws up enough to fill a tub. Kagura thought without much feeling. On most days, she didn't care what she looked like and today, she cared even less. She had far more important things to think about; like her craving for Sukonbu.
She had run out of her reserve pile two days ago and it seemed to be the only thing her body wanted. Not even her staple rice and egg had appeased her craving. She was longing for the taste of cheap sweet and sour strips that were capable of soothing her soul like nothing else. So I wasn't entirely lying to Gin-chan when I told him I was addicted to Sukonbu, Kagura thought with a chuckle.
Standing in front of the mirror, she slapped both her cheeks and then made weird faces at herself. Her facial muscles hadn't been used in so long that she was worried she had forgotten how to make the most basic expressions. Her smile made her look constipated and her resting face made her look like a zombie. After five minutes of practice, she deemed herself fit to engage with the society and headed out the door, one hand clutching her umbrella while the other pocketed cash that she'd taken from Gin-chan's 'secret' stash.
Once outside, she took a moment to relish the fresh air entering her lungs. The weather was pleasant and the cool breeze ruffled Kagura's open hair. For the first time since she had decided to step out, she acknowledged the possibility that she might run into the sadist. And as strong as Kagura was going to pretend to be, she didn't want to face him just yet. So, instead of her usual shop in town, she decided to walk to the outer part of the city to get her Sukonbu. She thought the exercise would do her good and since the weather was so nice, she was looking forward to it.
But after walking for hours and enquiring at over 100 different shops in several parts of the city, Kagura had yet to find herself a single pack of her favorite snack. They had all been out of stock and the only place Kagura had yet to check was her usual shop in Kabukicho.
Kagura had half a mind to forget about it and go home. But then she desperately wanted Sukonbu and she was no coward.
She headed toward her town, greeting the familiar faces she saw and dodging questions about her absence for the past few days. She heaved out a relieved sigh as the shop came into view.
'Hello, aunty. Can I get some Sukonbu?' She greeted the old lady who looked up and smiled at her.
'Ah, Kagura-chan! Long time no see. Are you doing okay? It has been a long time since you last came.'
'Aaaah, I'm completely fine! And I'm going to buy twenty, no, thirty packs today to make up for it.' Kagura was sure that she would need a lot to satisfy her cravings and having some surplus was always a good idea. But aunty just looked at her regretfully.
'About that, Kagura-chan, I'm afraid we don't have Sukonbu in stock right now.'
Kagura's hours of frustration finally boiled over. 'How is that possible?! How have all the shops in Edo run out of a snack that most people think tastes like old-men's feet?'
'So you finally agree that that thing tastes disgusting?'
'I don't. I said –' Kagura stopped talking when she recognized the voice that had spoken. Her heart stopped, stuttered, and started beating faster. But unlike before, it wasn't completely out of happiness. It was out of rage, sadness, fear, and although Kagura hated herself for it, there were traces of happiness as well.
She had considered her day until then to be a good day. She had succeeded in thinking about him only once every hour or so and she didn't feel like a spaceship had run her over. She had enjoyed the little breaks she'd had from her negative emotions and she had already started planning what she'd do the next day.
But hearing his voice had been like setting fire to paper. Her good mood had been reduced to ashes and her negative emotions had risen quicker than a paper burning. Kagura wanted to walk away. She wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine and act like she didn't care, like she hadn't spent the last one week crying over him. But the rage that had taken hold of her body disagreed. She couldn't believe he had the audacity not just to show his face in front of her but talk to her so casually. As if he hadn't humiliated her just to make himself feel better. As if he hadn't reached inside her chest and ripped her heart out.
With eyes that were now seeing red, Kagura turned around and swung her umbrella at him with the force of a 100 semis. He seemed better prepared this time as he brought his sword up to parry her hit, his arms shaking with the effort. She refused to look at his face as she attacked again, her mind repeating only thing: destroy destroy destroy.
'Oi, wait. Will you just hear me out!?' His voice was strained as he blocked a kick aimed at his face with his forearm. She punched his gut in response and blood spurted from his mouth.
'China! For fuck's sake. Give me five minutes.' She threw him 50 meters away with a head butt.
Since he could still move, she decided to continue with her onslaught. After all, she had a promise to fulfill.
'I swear to the gods, I will kill you. And this time, I mean it.'
In a far corner of her mind, she noted that he was only defending himself and not attacking her. But Kagura wasn't fully cognizant of her actions. She was acting on pure instinct, and her instinct was telling her to get rid of the person capable of wrecking her with just a few words.
By the time she had reached him, he was up on his feet, one hand clutching his sword while the other tried stemming the blood flowing from his head.
'I'm probably going to get a concussion. Again.' Kagura felt a twinge of satisfaction at that. But then he looked at her and her mind flashed back to expression he'd had when he'd called her a whore. Her anger gave way to hurt but not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her in pain, she charged toward him.
She was so blinded by her emotions that her strikes were becoming sloppy and with a well-placed hit to her wrist, her umbrella was tossed out of her hand.
'China, come on, just listen to me.' Had she not been consumed by her wrath, she would have noticed how he'd pleaded with her.
But as she was now, she ignored him and continued swinging her fists like a mad person. He was skillfully dodging her attacks but when she kicked him in the leg, he lost his balance and dropped down. She followed him, intending to punch him into the ground when he captured both of her hands and pulled her to him. The action caught her by surprise and he took advantage of it by capturing both of her hands and binding them behind her back with his own.
Did he just pretend to lose his balance?
The thought and position incensed Kagura and having no choice, she opened her mouth and screamed. 'LEEEET. MEEE. GOOOO.'
The constriction of her arms meant she couldn't raise her head high enough to head butt him and her legs were pretty much useless as well. She was writhing to the best of her ability but she was so overcome with her emotions that her strength had pretty much left her.
'I just wanted to remind you that we're in the middle of a shopping street. I don't care about it but I thought you would.' His voice pierced through her emotion haze and she stopped her struggling and looked up. Thankfully, there were only a handful of people in the area. They were attracting a few looks but not many. The people of Kabukicho were used to their skirmishes and generally gave them a wide berth when they were together.
Despite that, Kagura felt self-conscious and her helplessness at her situation leaked into her voice as she spoke.
'Why are you doing this?' She didn't want to look at his face and kept her gaze on a spot next to his ear.
'I just want to talk –'
'Well, I don't. What, calling me a whore wasn't enough for you? Do you want to insult me some more? I know that you're a sadist and that you enjoy other people's pain but can you please just…not hurt…' Her voice trailed off as tears filled her vision. She wanted to beg him to let her go but she was afraid that opening her mouth would cause her to breakdown.
'Look at me.' His voice was urgent and his grip on her was starting to feel desperate but she was so focused on not losing it in front of him that she didn't respond.
'China, look at me. Please.' It was the please that got to her. Because as much as she hated him for the things he'd said to hurt her, she loved him much more for the countless things he'd done to make her happy. And as much as she was hurting right now, a part of her was happy that he cared enough to chase her.
When her tearful blue eyes finally met his impassioned red ones, he took in a big breath before the words burst from his mouth.
'I'm sorry.'
Kagura had never seen the sadist display such emotion so openly. It was as if he had removed his usual mask of blankness. His forehead was scrunched up, his lips pressed in a thin line, and his eyes…his eyes reflected such urgency and desperation that Kagura jerked her head back and blinked twice to make sure it was the sadist lying beneath her. But it was him, looking remorseful and guilty, and he seemed to get even more so when a tear from her eye had fallen on his cheek.
Kagura was struck speechless and she watched as he clenched his jaw and struggled with his words. 'I don't…I wasn't…' He turned his away, muttered a 'Tch' and then looked back at her. 'I am really sorry about what I said. I was jealous when I saw you with…that boy and I only said those things because I wanted to hurt you. Obviously, I didn't mean any of it and I hope…you can forgive me.'
Kagura's heart, her silly, naïve heart, melted. It was the second time he had apologized to her and even though she didn't want to let him off easy, she couldn't help but forgive him when he was being so earnest.
'Okay.' She nodded.
His eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly at her response and Kagura wondered if she had accepted his apology a little too quickly. Maybe I should have made him grovel a little more? But then it's the sadist. Does he even grovel?
Her thoughts were interrupted when his lips curved into a little smile and he chuckled, his expression softening.
'You're an emotional fool, as always.'
'Who the hell are you calling a fool?!' She responded more out of reflex, still coming to grips with what was happening. The sadist was smiling. At her.
'Well, not that I mind it. I love you despite of it. Or maybe I love you because of it. We'll never know though, because I'm too lazy to find out.' The nervousness in his eyes belied the casualness of his tone.
At his statement, Kagura's heart decided to play a death metal song and all her organs went wild dancing to the tune. Because she wasn't sure if this was a dream or she'd just dropped into a parallel universe, she raised her head as much as she could and brought it down against his, their foreheads connecting with a thud.
The pain caused the sadist to yelp, since she'd hit him right on the spot she'd head butted earlier, and he glared at her.
'What the hell are you doing, you idiot!?'
Surely he hadn't said what she thought he had? It's the sadist, after all. I'm sure he's surpassed his emotions limit with the apology and everything. Yeah, no way. There's no way, right?
Kagura still needed more confirmation. So, heart in her throat, she managed to ask. 'What did you say?'
But he just narrowed his eyes at her, his face back to its usual blank mask. 'I know you heard me the first time. I'm not going to repeat it.'
Kagura obviously wasn't going to have that. She knew that the only language the sadist spoke was violence. So she lifted her head again but sensing her intent, he dodged her attack and her forehead caught the side of his throat. She didn't stop at that and kept attacking, not caring that she looked like a deranged bobblehead, amidst shouts of 'You bastard! Say it once again!'
'Oww! Stop it! Fine, FINE! I love you, you violent gorilla!'
His confession, which he had quite literally yelled into her ear due to their position and proximity, made Kagura release a breath she hadn't known she was holding. She didn't lift her head from his throat as butterflies erupted in her stomach. Tears leaked from her eyes as she grappled with the deluge of emotions flowing through her body.
She felt the sadist release her hands and she gripped the lapels of his jacket as his hands started drawing circles on her back. Maybe it was because she had shed all the water from her body during the last week but she was glad when she stopped crying after a few minutes.
She wiped her nose on the front of his jacket and looked up in time to see him scrunch his nose.
'Gross, China. Don't think I'm going to let you smear your snot on me like Danna does.'
'Shut up. You love me so you're going to have to accept me as I am, emotion juice and all. Besides, Gin-chan was the one who told me to cry until there was more snot dripping from my nose than tears falling from my eyes.' Kagura repeated the sage advice she'd received from her beloved guardian and felt a smile creep up when she realized she'd finally reached the stage he'd talked about. She couldn't wait for all the fancy meals she was going to have at the expense of his wallet.
The sadist opened his mouth to respond to her, but they were interrupted by the old lady at the Sukonbu shop. Kagura realized that she was practically lying on top of the sadist while on the street and hastily sat up, her face flushing a deep red. He followed and raised an eyebrow at her as if to say 'Now you feel embarrassed?'
'Ano, Okita-san. I'm closing up. Would you like your parcel now?'
'Sure, aunty.'
Kagura watched as he collected a large black bag from the shop and walked back to her. Curious, she tried to peek inside the bag but he pushed her away with a hand on her face.
'Mmmmmpphh. Oi, you love me, right? Then let me see what's in the bag.' The words still felt foreign on her tongue. She was saying them out loud as much as she could because she still couldn't believe he'd said them and because every time she said it, she experienced these little bursts of happiness that made her want to twirl around like a ballerina. Not even his vacant face could put a damper on her mood.
'What are you saying? Your boyfriend is a sadist, not a pushover. A few cutesy words aren't going to change anything. You want the bag? Then come and get it.' His smirk was taunting her. But Kagura didn't immediately react because she was suddenly hit with a wave of surprise.
She wasn't surprised at his words but at the pleasure they had brought her. The boyfriend part had made her swoon mentally but more than that, she hadn't realized how much she had wanted to go back to their old and familiar routine.
Yes, she loved him and wanted to be with him in the romantic sense. But she had fallen in love with the sadist who taunted her every chance he got, who brought out her rawest emotions by using the pettiest of insults, who fought with her and pushed her to her limits over the silliest of challenges.
Yes, she loved him, but she also loved who she was when she was with him. And she was glad that that part of their relationship would remain unchanged. That he would remain the same sadistic asshole she loved to fight, and she would remain the same China girl who got violent at the slightest of his provocations.
Trying not to show how happy his words had made her, lest he get an even bigger head, she scowled. 'Fine with me! Get ready to be pounded into – '
He stopped her with a slight karate chop on her head. 'Not here, you idiot. There's nothing here to destroy apart from the shops and I don't want to arrest you for vandalism on the day we start dating. The paperwork is a pain.'
Rubbing her head, she glared at him. 'You'll also be the one destroying stuff! Arrest yourself, you immoral tax robber!'
Kagura didn't hear his response because he took her by the hand and started walking. He'd done it carelessly, as if it was second-nature for them to hold hands while walking. She tried suppressing the heat rising to her cheeks and her too-wide smile as they continued bickering.
They stopped a few minutes later and she saw that he'd lead them to their spot: the Kabukicho park. He sat down on the park bench and pulled her so she was sitting next to him, the bag placed safely in one corner. Kagura frowned. Weren't they supposed to fight?
Just as she opened her mouth to ask him, her stomach rumbled loudly, reminding her that she'd had only one bowl of rice in the day. Now that her emotional turmoil had ended, her appetite had come back full force. And so had her craving for Sukonbu. The sadist looked at her, one brow raised.
'What, is Danna starving you again? You sound like you haven't eaten in days.'
'Shut up. Gin-chan has been giving me plenty of food. I just haven't had any appetite for the last few days. Because of something someone said.'
Kagura hadn't said it with the intent of making him feel guilty. She had forgiven him because she understood why he had reacted the way he had. But that didn't mean her heart had forgotten. She hadn't wanted to hold on to her anger any longer but her wounds were still fresh. And she figured she would need some time before they healed. Time and…maybe she wanted him to suffer a little. Was it underhanded? Slightly. Did Kagura care? Nope.
He narrowed his eyes at her but she had caught the guilt flashing across his face. 'I thought you said you forgave me. How long are you going to hold that over my head?'
'Until death do us apart.' She smiled at him sweetly before putting on a smug face. 'I did forgive you but I haven't forgotten what you said. Besides, how often do you think I'm going to have you begging at my feet? This is, quite possibly, the chance of a lifetime for me.'
His expression turned appraising. 'Heh. So even pigs can have smart ideas every once in a while.' Before she could respond with an equally scathing insult, he scoffed at her. 'And I don't beg China. I'm smarter than that. How about this? I have something you desperately want right here.' He pointed to the bag. 'I'll give it to you, without resistance, if you promise to forget about…that.'
He was cunningly using her curiosity against her but Kagura knew she had the upper hand. 'Why would I do that when I can just fight and defeat you and get the bag?'
He started ticking things off his fingers as he spoke. 'Because you're hungry. Because I have something you can eat. Because you won't win against me in your condition right now.'
He was gloating, as if he had her right where he wanted her but Kagura wasn't going to go down so easily. Even if there was food involved.
'Give me the bag and I'll forget about it maybe 10%.'
His lip curled. '40'
She narrowed her eyes. '20 or we fight.'
'Fine. 20.'
Looking displeased, he tossed the rectangular bag in her direction and with an excited little squeal, she jerked it open. Upon taking a look at the numerous packs of Sukonbu lying inside, she let out a loud gasp.
'My precious Sukonbu!' Hurriedly, she ripped open a pack, her mouth watering at the thought of the sweet and sour taste on her tongue. But just as she reached for the strips, a folded white note tucked inside the packaging caught her attention.
'Huh? What's this?'
The sadist looked at the white piece of paper as if he'd just remembered something. 'Aaah. Almost forgot about that. That was backup plan A.'
The note only had the words 'I'm sorry' scribbled on it but the gesture stunned Kagura.
Voice trembling, she managed to ask him. 'You mean all the packs…?'
He shrugged, as if it was no big deal. 'Well, more or less.'
As Kagura opened more packs and discovered more notes, any doubts she'd had about forgiving him too quickly vanished into thin air.
China, forgive me.
I didn't mean it.
I'll buy you this disgusting seaweed forever. Do you forgive me now?
This is stupid. Is this stupid?
The last one made her chuckle. The words weren't poetry but coming from the sadist, they might as well have been. She wondered how she would have reacted had she seen these notes first but then frowned as she recalled that the lady at the shop had told her she didn't have any Sukonbu in stock.
'Why did the old lady tell me they were out of Sukonbu? Wasn't she supposed to give me these?'
'Because I changed my mind. Apologizing through a note is wimpy. I thought I'd try doing it in person first. Well, thanks to you being a forgiving idiot, I am now saved from the trouble of executing my other backup plans.'
'That's pretty honorable of you.' Then something else struck Kagura and she scowled. 'Wait, so the reason every shop in Edo is out of Sukonbu right now is because you're the one hoarding it? You bastard!'
He pulled her cheek, hard. 'Now now, is that any way to talk to your boyfriend who lovingly put in all that effort just to get your forgiveness?'
When he let go, she rubbed her sore cheek and glared at him. 'Shut up. I bet you just got that Jimizaki to do the work for you anyway.'
He put a hand on his heart and looked to be deeply offended. 'That's really mean of you, China. I'll let you know I sacrificed an entire night for this. An entire night I could have spent poisoning all of Hijikata-san's mayonnaise.'
Kagura knew he wasn't lying because had it been the jimi who had done this, the sadist wouldn't have hesitated to say something along the lines of 'Of course. You think I'm going to do something so troublesome?' But knowing that he had spent so much of his time and energy on such an uncharacteristic action made her giddy with delight. She turned her head away to hide her wide smile and changed the subject.
'What do you mean by other backup plans?'
'Hmm? Well, this and that. You'll never find out though because I'm not going to be doing any of those things now.'
As he stared off into the distance, Kagura tried tamping down her urge to force answers out of him. Now that she'd seen one of his plans, she wanted to know just how far he'd been willing to go to get her forgiveness. Slyly, she used the newly added and most powerful weapon in her arsenal.
'You know, I was so heartbroken that I shut myself in my room for over a week. Shinpachi was so worried because I wasn't even eating anything. I must have had only 3 bowls of rice and egg every day.'
Her curiosity was going to get her killed. And if the venom in his expression was any indication, she was going to meet her demise by the sadist's hands.
'Ne, China. Don't think that's going to work every time. Besides, normal people have three bowls every day so that's hardly a cause for concern.'
She continued in a solemn tone. 'And I was always crying. I must have cried enough to fill ten…no, twenty buckets! Aaah, it was such a tough time. Just thinking about it makes my chest hurt.' She ended with a fake sniffle. In reality, she was currently bursting with happiness and had forgotten all about her past suffering but hedidn't need to know about that.
He looked at her as if he wanted to strangle her but Kagura kept the puppy-dog expression on her face. He let out a grunt and scooted closer, turning his upper body so it faced her on the bench.
'If you really want to know, how about we play a game?'
She wasn't surprisedhe hadn't fallen for it. Intrigued, she asked him. 'A game?'
Picking up a strip of Sukonbu from her lap, he held it up for her. 'Yep. Have you heard about the Sukonbu game? If you win, I'll tell you all about my other plans. If I win, you'll forget about that thing another 20 percent.'
'What's the Sukonbu game?' Then, she frowned. 'No way. I'm not going to forget about it simply because you win a game. That's unfair.'
He raised an eyebrow at her. 'And you trying to emotionally blackmail me isn't?'
Kagura flushed at having been called out on her sneaky tactics. 'Fine. But only another 10 percent. And I'm definitely going to win. What are we supposed to do?'
He smiled smugly and Kagura looked at him with unease, unsure of why he looked like he'd already won. 'Fine. 10 percent it is. Now, in the game, we're both going to start eating this piece of crap from either end. The first one to let go of the strip loses.'
It took her a few seconds but when Kagura finally understood what the game was about she blushed a deep scarlet.
'That's the Pocky game! And I'm not going to play something that stupid just to know about your stupid plans!'
'What, you're giving up because you're afraid you're going to lose? Well, it had to happen one day. You just have to admit I'm the stronger and better fighter and – '
She cut him off, fuming at his words. 'Bring it on! I'll beat that smirk off your face, you idiot sadist!'
If there was one thing that stood above Kagura's nervousness and embarrassment, it was her resolve to not lose to him. Her stupid pride had gotten her in trouble plenty of times but she hadn't learned a single thing from them. She doubted she ever would.
At her response, his smirk turned into a shit-eating grin and she watched as he opened the wrapper and stuck the Sukonbu in his mouth, cringing at the taste. Leaning closer to her, he spoke around the strip.
'Itadakimasu.'
Kagura hadn't realized she was leaning away from him until she had to reach out a hand to prevent herself from falling backward. His amused expression pissed her off and she scowled before inching closer and clamping her lips around the tiniest section of the strip.
The strips were hardly a few inches long and the closeness made Kagura's cheeks heat up. She was doing her best to avoid looking at him but his voice involuntarily brought her gaze back to his.
'China, you're supposed to be moving forward as you eat. Don't just sit there like a statue.'
His face was even closer than before and her heart was flipping around as if it were competing in the Olympics. She moved her lips a little further, her breaths coming in short pants. With his next movement, their faces were so close that she could feel his breaths on her face. Unable to handle the intimacy, she squeezed her eyes shut.
Kagura didn't move a muscle. She couldn't.A little part of her wanted to pull away but the rest of her wanted her to remain right where she was. She was trembling with nervousness, anticipation, and even excitement.
It seemed like hours had passed before he finally moved, and when his lips met hers, Kagura's brain short-circuited. The only thing she could focus on was how his lips were soft and how the contact was causing tingles to spread throughout her body.
Without meaning to, her lips parted and she let out a small whimper, letting go of the grip she had on the strip. It was as if the sound had jerked him awake, because the next thing she knew, he'd snatched the Sukonbu from her mouth, spat it on the ground and brought his mouth back to hers. It all happened so quickly that she hadn't even had a chance to open her eyes. One of his hands came up to cradle her face as his lips moved against hers.
Kagura had no experience when it came to these things so she just let her instinct guide her. Her hands came up to clutch the lapels of his jacket as she pressed her chest to his. She wanted, no, needed to be close to him.
The gentleness of his actions was a striking contrast against his brash nature. He was letting her take the lead, moving gingerly so as to not scare her. He tasted of the Sukonbu he'd just had and Kagura wanted more. She didn't know where these urges were coming from but she didn't care enough to find out. She let out a sound of discontent before opening her mouth and swiping her tongue at his lips. And because the action felt so satisfying, she did it again, before sucking his lower lip into her mouth.
His body had turned rigid at the first swipe of her tongue, but then he let out a low growl and his hand, the one that was resting on the back of the bench, came to clutch her waist in a bruising grip. Kagura gasped and he thrust his tongue inside her mouth without any warning. It was as if the chains holding him back had snapped. He devoured her; his tongue exploring her mouth as if he was looking for gold. The hand on her cheek had slid down to her throat in a possessive hold and his thumb was swiping back and forth just below her ear. The action was so inherently sadist-like that she was reminded of how she was kissing her rival of years and her competitive spirit rose up.
Their tongues clashed furiously, battling for dominance. She bit his lip, he sucked on her tongue. He tasted the roof of her mouth, she nibbled on his tongue. They kissed until she was breathing the air from his mouth. Until her lungs started protesting from the lack of oxygen.
Kagura ripped her mouth away and turned her head, gulping in some much-needed air. The sadist rested his forehead on her temple, doing the same. His chest was heaving under her hands and as she became aware of her surroundings, she felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her. She couldn't believe they'd been doing…all that in a place as public as the park; even if there was practically no one in the area.
Now that they'd stopped kissing, Kagura felt so shy she couldn't bring herself to look at him. As she tried calming down her racing heart and her flaming cheeks, she searched for something to talk about as a distraction from her nervousness. Glaring at the piece of abandoned Sukonbu on the ground, the main culprit of why she had ended up in this situation, she made a half-hearted attempt at an insult.
'Arrest yourself for littering, you hypocritical tax robber.'
But, unlike every other time, he didn't respond with an insult of his own. He simply chuckled, muttered a 'Yeah yeah', and kissed her cheek once, then again.
The action caused such intense flutters in her stomach that she felt a cramping sensation. Abruptly, she stood up, forcing out a chuckle.
'Oh wow. Look at the time. Gotta get back or Gin-chan will get mad ha ha ha.'
But before she could take a single step, his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back so she landed sideways in his lap, rather gracelessly.
'What the hell are you doing, you idiot sadist!?' She was wriggling, trying to get away while hiding her reddening cheeks.
'Stop that, China. Your bony ass is hurting my legs. And I'm pretty sure Danna is blowing away his meager savings at pachinko.'
'Fine. But let me go. Aren't you the police? This is…this is…public indecency!' She couldn't believe she'd resorted to that puny ass excuse but she felt as if she was going to burst if she didn't get away soon.
He looked around at the empty park before looking down at her.
'What we're doing is nowhere near indecent. Besides, there's no one around.' Noticing her red cheeks, his lips quirked up. 'So even you feel shy, huh? This is the first time I'm seeing this side of you. Gotta say, it's almost cute.'
Having no other choice, she burrowed her head into his neck before muttering 'Shut up'.
She adjusted herself so she was sitting on one of his thighs, her legs dangling between his spread ones. One of his arms had come around her shoulders while the other was resting on her upper thigh. She would die before admitting it out loud but now that she'd settled down, she was feeling quite comfortable.
As she felt his heart beat under her palm, Kagura found herself grappling with her reality. She couldn't believe it was only this morning she'd woken up, feeling and smelling like Sadaharu's poop, intent on avoiding the sadist. Everything that had happened until now felt surreal, as if it was a dream she would wake up from at any second. And because talking to him and hearing his voice made it seem real, she asked him the thing she'd almost forgotten about.
'Sadist, you lost. You're supposed to tell me about your other backup plans.'
She felt his throat vibrate as he spoke in a lazy tone. 'What are you talking about? You were the one who let go first.'
'Don't be a sore loser! You were the one who pulled away first.' Thinking back on exactly what he'd done after he'd done after he'd pulled away made her wish she'd never brought up the topic but she persevered, albeit with a red face, knowing the result would be worth it.
'Fine, I'll tell you, but only if you ask me nicely. And only because I'm feeling generous, not because I lost. That was a tie.'
Smugly, she sang her next words. 'Whatever you say, you loser.' Then, as sweetly as she could, she spoke. 'Tell me about your other backup plans, you little brat, or I'll kill you.'
Before she'd even finished her sentence, he'd tightened the arm around her shoulders, trapping her face in his neck as he smothered her.
'What was that? I couldn't hear you over the fakeness.' He'd spoken in the same detached and insincere tone he'd used when he'd tortured her during the time she'd faked her illness.
She beat at his chest but when he didn't loosen his grip, she bit his neck hard enough to draw blood. With a yelp, he pushed her head away, glaring at her as he rubbed the now-red area.
'I really should put a muzzle on you.'
Uncaring that she was giving him more ammunition to support his statement, she bared her teeth at him. 'Just try it. It'll give me a nice excuse to rip your arm off.'
'Sure sure. Now, do you want to know about the plans or not? Seriously, even flies have a longer attention span.'
'Yes. Tell me!'
'Then, say my name, say please, and ask me nicely.'
She knew he wasn't going to bend on this; his smirk had stubbornness written all over it. Gritting her teeth and swallowing her pride, she forced the words out of her mouth.
'Sadist, please tell me about your other backup plans.'
She watched as a mild frown made its way on his forehead. 'China, I asked you to say my name. Not my passion.'
Kagura furrowed her brows in confusion but when she finally understood what he was asking for, her jaw dropped open. It was such a weird thing for him to ask, and yet, maybe it was not so weird?
'What, have you forgotten my name? I know you said it when I almost died so shouldn't be too difficult for you, right?'
Kagura barely had any recollection of that night. Her emotions had been so strong and overpowering that her memories felt fuzzy and broken. But now that he'd mentioned it, she vaguely remembered yelling his full name before he'd showed any movement, signaling his alive state. It had been in the heat of moment, but now, Kagura didn't know how she felt about the sadist knowing about it.
'How do you even know about that?'
'A little birdie told me. Now, are you going to say it or not? I don't have all the time in the world, you know. I'm a hard-working person with a job, unlike some people.'
She punched his gut in response, turning her head away as she mumbled. 'Sad…Sou— '
'Ah ah, look at me when you say it, China. It increases your uneasiness and my entertainment.'
Kagura wanted to slap the smirk off his face but she resisted the urge. She stared at him with all the animosity she was feeling as she spoke.
'So…Sou…Sougo, please tell me about your other backup plans.' By the time she was done, her entire face felt hot and her heart was thumping against her chest. She kept her gaze on his face and watched as he kept smirking. But all the smugness in the world couldn't hide the pink that had dusted his upper cheeks. She took solace in the fact that she wasn't the only one affected by the name-calling. She'd just let out a relieved breath when his next words caused her to stop breathing.
'Okay, Kagura.'
Her widened eyes met his and if it had been humanly possibly, the top of her head would have blown off to let out the excess emotions flowing through her. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, not knowing what to say, not knowing if she even wanted to say anything in the first place. But when she couldn't think of anything, she looked away, trying to get a grip on her rampant emotions.
He pulled her back into his chest and she was about to complain, but she didn't get the chance. He'd already started talking.
'Well, the plan at first was the disgusting seaweed one. I thought the notes would calm you down a little and after knowing I was sorry, I thought you wouldn't act like a deranged gorilla when you saw me. But then I thought about apologizing in person and well, we both know how that went. The second plan was to send you free coupons of that restaurant you love. I was going to ply you with food, food without any Tabasco sauce, and when you had eaten so much you couldn't move your piggy feet, I was going to come in, tie you up, and make you listen to me. I still think I should've done that first. Would've saved me a lot of trouble…and injuries. Anyway, the third plan – '
As Kagura lay there, listening to him recite the creative plans he'd come up with in his monotone voice, she couldn't help but fall in love with him all over again. When the sadist set his mind to something, he really gave it his everything.
She thought back to how it had all began; her, a short-tempered fourteen year old and him, an arrogant eighteen year old. They'd exchanged fists more than they'd exchanged words. That had been and still was their language.
After years of fighting each other, saving each other, and having each other's backs; after buckets of tears, and numerous moments of jealousy, sadness, and anger; after broken and mended ribs, and bruised and healed hearts; they were finally here.
And Kagura didn't know what their future would be like, if it would hold any semblance of normality and sanity, but she didn't care. All she knew is that as long as she had him by her side, life would never be boring. As long as he was by her side, they were going to be great.
Overwhelmed with emotion, she gave him the words in a hushed tone.
'Sadist? I love you.'
He pulled her closer before releasing a huge breath, his chest deflating like a balloon underneath her ears. She realized that it was the first time she had said it. She didn't think the time in the alley counted because with her anger and her tone, it must have sounded like a confession of hate.
As she heard his response, spoken in an equally quiet and heartfelt tone, she was glad she had let him know just how much he meant to her.
'Me too, China. I love you too.'
Yep. They were going to be just great.