Chapter 8
After doing a little shopping and a lot of cussing from Angel and Gilly, the nursery is set up. I am sitting in the rocking chair that Gilly picked up for us and rocking Mateo to sleep while giving him a bottle. "He's so little." I whisper. "I know. He's only a month old." he tells me. I just keep looking at him and his phone vibrates in his pocket. Kissing me softly, he steps out of the room to answer. After a few minutes, he walks back in, smiling. "You look happy." I say. He kneels in front of me and says "That was Gilly. He took the papers to Adeita for us and she signed them. We have to be at the clubhouse tomorrow to get married and the lawyer will have the adoption papers there for us and will sign both at the same time." he tells me. "Really?" I ask. "Yeah. Really." he tells me and he kisses me softly.
After placing Mateo in his crib, I grab the baby monitor and we head out to the back deck and just sit. I am on one of the steps and he is on the one behind me and I am leaned back into him. I let out a content sigh and he kisses the top of my head. "Are you happy?" he asks. "I am. Angel, look at what you did for me. You killed the man that raped me. You showed me that you love me and if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here." I tell him softly. "What do you mean amor?" he asks. I shake my head and say "Doesn't matter now." He turns me to look at him and says "It will always matter to me. What do you mean?" he asks again. I turn back around so that my back is to him and say "When Carla got us talking, my depression was bad. She didn't come right out and say it but I think she knew that I was getting worse. I would drive to work and think about how fast I would have to be going for it to kill me when I ran into it." I tell him. "Mi amor…" he starts. "Those thoughts stopped when I started talking to you." I whisper. He holds me closer and says "I wasn't in a good place either. I hated myself. Didn't think I was good enough for anyone. I've always felt like I was second best and didn't deserve to be loved." I turn to look at him and say "You will never be second best and you do deserve to be loved. I love you and our children will love you. You are going to be an amazing husband because I see how you love me and protect me and you were doing it before we even met. When I needed you, Angel, you were there. And you will be an amazing father because I know you will never make our kids feel the way your father made you feel and that includes Mateo." I tell him.
He pushes me to stand before standing himself and gets down on one knee. He reaches into his kutte and pulls out a velvet bag. Taking out one of the rings, he says "I was going to give this to you tomorrow with the wedding ring but this needs to be done tonight. You are so amazing and you make me feel like I'm the only one that matters to you and that means everything to me. So, I want to ask you, will you marry me?" I lean down and kiss him softly and whisper "Yes my Angel." before he kisses me again. He picks me up and carries me inside to the bedroom before laying me down and making love to me nice and slow.
When we reach our release, he lays with his head on my chest and we just listen to Mateo's little snores through the baby monitor. We hear him start to cry and we both start getting out of bed and dressed. "I'll change him." I say. "I'll get his bottle." he tells me before kissing me and heading to the kitchen. I start changing Mateo and he just looks at me. "What is it little man? Mommy and Daddy not giving you any attention?" I ask and he just watches me. "I hope one day we can give you a couple of little brothers or sisters." I whisper. I pick him up and head to the rocking chair and Angel hands me the bottle and asks "You still want kids with me?" I smile and say "Yeah. You're giving me two more." I tell him. "Yes ma'am." he tells me before kissing me softly and we just watch our son as he takes his bottle then drifts off to sleep.