Chapter 8

"Is what the Shadowhunters claim about you killing one of their own true?" Gerald's voice boomed around the quiet institute grounds.

"Yes, but-" Lee started before Gerald cut him off.

"Then I shall behead you myself." He said, marching in our direction.

There was a chorus of Wait! What! and NO!'s as my mother and I resumed our fighting stances, with Alec, Nate and Maya running to our side. None of the other werewolves moved. Some of them had resumed their human forms and were regarding each other in confusion. They had come for a possible brawl with Shadowhunters, not to end the life of one of their own.

"It wasn't me!" Lee cried, clearly hoping to defend himself against the lump of fury that was Gerald, who was still coming his way. "I mean, it was me, but I didn't want to! He made me do it! I hated every second of it!"

At that, we all froze, and the place was plunged in silence once more, the only sounds were those that came from the busy city of Toronto at night.

"He?" I asked.

Half an hour later, and based on my mother's request, we were all packed in the institute's conference room. Some of the werewolves had gone home, and the rest were either occupying seats around the table, or standing against the wall. Nick, Nate and I took the wall nearest to Lee, who had Lynn on his left, and my mother on his right, both having turned their chairs to face him. A few seats away was Gerald, his huge form occupying a large portion of space. We all listened quietly as Lee retold his tale.

"I was walking back to my place from work at night. One minute, I was walking on the streets, and the next, I woke up in a warehouse, chained to a chair, my head hurting like hell."

I watched as Lynn and Nick exchanged a glance, as they'd both been assigned the task to investigate probably the same warehouse at the Lower Don Lands.

"I couldn't see the guy's face. He was robed and had his hood on. He talked, though, said I was to be part of something bigger. A change in the structure of the world."

"Could you tell whether it was a warlock or a demon?" Alec asked. He was occupying the seat beside my mother, his shoulders straight, his expression stern.

Lee shook his head.

"Continue." My mother urged him.

"I tried to break free. But the chains were silver." He unconsciously touched his wrists, and I noticed the marks there that hadn't faded. "He started injecting me with stuff, and everything that came after was a blur."

Gerald was still as a rock as he stared at Lee, his expression murderous. It wasn't clear who he wanted to rip apart though, Lee, my mother, Alec, or the 'guy' Lee was talking about. Probably all of them for disturbing his night.

"And what about the forest?" Lynn asked, and Lee's face perked up immediately at her voice as he turned and gave her all of his attention. I tired not to roll my eyes at his so obvious crush on her, just as Nick shifted uncomfortably beside me. "I remember hearing his voice in my head when I was there. He made me kill that Shadowhunter and hang him up in the branches afterwards. He wanted you to come across him."

Every Shadowhunter in the room shifted at the mention of Neil's death, and some of the werewolves looked sick. A girl had tears in her eyes, and the guy sitting next to her was rubbing her back soothingly.

"I didn't want to attack you either the next day." Lee said more quietly, looking at Lynn. "The thing in my blood drove me crazy."

Lynn gave him a small sympathetic smile, and his face broke with relief immediately. Really? It was Maya he was supposed to apologize to for almost killing her, not Lynn! As if on cue, I caught Maya's eye, sitting beside Lynn, and she made a gaging face at me, which I chuckled at. Then, she caught Nate's eye and smiled shyly. I watched as he winked at her. Cute.

The evening of that day, I returned to the institute after patrolling my square of the city, looking for both usual and unusual activity. I disposed of six demons, none of which seemed to be related to the case, as they'd each been hunting down mundanes to feed on. As I was making my way down the hall, sweaty and covered in thick greenish ichor, I almost ran into someone. That someone turned out to be Christopher Montclaire, my aunt Jane's husband, Lynn and Maya's dad, and my deceased father's former parabataï.

"Christof!" I exclaimed before launching myself into his arms. "You're back!"

He shook with laughter as he hugged me back. "Hey, little-one." He said, even though it'd been years since I'd outgrown that name.

When I pulled back, I noticed the mess I'd made of his shirt. "Oops!" I giggled. "Sorry."

"I see you've been busy." Christopher said, looking at his shirt meaningfully.

"How long are you staying for this time?" I asked, hopeful.

"Just the night." He replied, and my shoulders slumped. "I wanted to check on you and the girls. Sophia as well. I need to back in Idris by tomorrow." I nodded.

Just then, Jane came round the corner, and, noticing us, started in our direction. Her face held a sour expression, and my stomach dropped. I hadn't noticed how comfortable I'd gotten in her absence, even in the light of the current events, and with Nick's presence in the institute. Not until she came back. I mentally braced myself for her first blow in a while.

"Hello, Kate." She said, forcing a smile on her face, that looked poisonous nevertheless.

"Hey aunt Jane. You're home!" I said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. She eyed my shirt, and her nose wrinkled. "Sweety, you should go clean up before you get dirt all over the institute … " she then stole a glance at Christopher's shirt, "and its occupants."

"Okay. See you at dinner, Christof." I said before walking away.

At night, I took up my usual place at the library, rummaging through a few books I scavenged on interdimensional travel, greater demons and warlocks that had gone against Shadowhunters and Downworlders. They more of a way to escape my discomfort and inability to sleep after Jane's return to the institute. She was more bearable when Christopher was home, but now that he was away in Idris, she would be her full unsufferable-self. If only my mother would've done anything about it …

I school my head and tried to concentrate on the words in front of me.

When I was in a good mood, I could've always ignored her comments and harsh words and critical gaze, let them slip. But when I was feeling down, they were the worse.

I sighed and lifted my head and caught the blue of Alec Lightwood's eyes as he loomed over me. Something tingled in my stomach.

"Can't sleep?" I asked, more to escape the depth of his analysing gaze than anything else. He nodded, claiming the spot on the floor beside mine. "Is it the case we're working on?"

"Among other stuff." He said, staring off into the distance. "Seems like I'm not the only one, though." He nodded at the book in my lap. "The case?"

I tried not to panic at the fact that our shoulders were almost touching. The proximity would've felt normal just a few days ago. "Among other stuff." I replied simply, instead of engaging on the fact that my verbally abusive aunt was home, my ex-boyfriend was dating my cousin after leaving me for her, and my mother was acting like a complete stranger for the past eight years.

"Travel year being one of those other stuff?" Alec asked, and I froze. He kept it in his mind from the other day. I expected him to forget about it, like Maya did. Like I almost did, if I hadn't been dying to be away from almost everyone in the Toronto institute.

I stayed quiet as I bit my lip, contemplating a crack in the floor, not too far away.

"Why Algiers, Kate?" He asked, his voice barely raised over a whisper. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't dare look up at him, knowing our faces would end up really close.

"I hear the city's beautiful, and the weather's really nice." I said, still looking at the crack.

"But why?" He insisted, and I closed my eyes. He was being Alec, which meant he was seeing right through me. "You could've chosen the New York Institute, of all places."

"But then it wouldn't really be a travel year, now, would it, Alec?" I said, still not opening my eyes, because I knew I couldn't face his expression.

"So it's people you're running away from." He said, and then his voice went very quiet, I almost imagined him speaking. "It's us you're willing to be away from."

I did open my eyes then, and I looked into his own, which were ocean blue. Not so dark, as when he was angry, and not so light, like when he was acting all cold. No, this was a shade of blue that spoke of all the sorrow I'd involuntarily filled him with. I started to shake my head.

"No, save it." He said, getting to his feet. He started walking away, but then stopped. I got up too but didn't move from my spot, watching his back. He turned to look at me one more time, like he wanted to say something, really say something, but at the last second, he shook his head and strode out of the library.

I took a shaky breath. I wanted to be away from Jane, Lynn, Nick, my mother. But how could I let him onto those secrets I've buried so deeply, without letting him see me for who I was, without having him look with disgust at the concept of being friends with someone like me. Alec's presence was always a balm to everything unpleasant I felt. He was the only person who took interest in me when I was but a failure of a Shadowhunter, beside Christopher. And everyone who knew him was shocked at the fact that he's take interest at someone who wasn't Jace and Isabelle, let alone that someone being me.

But I never thought of what we had to be anything more than friendship. The way he looked at me, the fact that my travel year might've been one of the stuff that kept him awake … could he and I ever be anything more? Could I let my guard down and expect him to like what he saw?