Apparently sometimes when I post, it doesn't actually update the time, so it looks like I didn't. So this website doesn't only look like it's from 1997, it also acts like it?

Chapter 7

Ana

I'm still hunched over my notebook, my pen flying across the paper as inspiration strikes, when I hear a car door slamming outside, then my front door swinging open. Oh, great. All I need is for the kids to wake up right now.

I sigh and unlock the door, steeling myself all the way down the stairs for a potential round two with my estranged husband. I somewhat suspected I was only in the eye of the storm of Hurricane Grey. I just don't know if I have the strength for this with no sleep.

I'm surprised when I hear rapid footsteps that sound lighter than Christian's. Rounding a corner, I smack flush against a certain tenacious blonde. "Ana!" Kate cries as she catches me and steadies both of us. "Oh, Christ on a cracker. How are you doing?"

"How am I doing?" Why are you in my house at midnight?

"I'm going to kill that bastard. I'm going to string him up by the balls." Huh? Did Christian go to her house? "I know an amazing divorce attorney. We'll have him out of your life by the end of the week. If that's what you want, just say the word." Well, she obviously doesn't know what just happened if she thinks I don't already know one.

She continues to rant until I place my hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. "Kate. Would you mind telling me what the hell you're talking about? Quietly? Because my kids are sleeping?"

Kate's eyes go wide and she puts both hands over her mouth. "Shit! You're right. I'm sorry." She takes my hand and pulls me into my home office, shutting the door behind her and eying me apprehensively. "I'm getting the feeling you haven't seen it yet."

"I haven't seen anything. It's almost midnight. Please get to the point."

She takes out her phone and hands it to me, her screen displaying the Seattle Nooz website. I blink a few times as I take in the glaring headline and photo, numbness coming forward as the prevailing emotion. I hand her phone back over to her. "It doesn't matter."

Kate is uncharacteristically speechless. "Pardon me? Your husband basically getting caught in bed with another woman doesn't matter? Is this some of the freaky shit you two are into? Is this a Dom thing or something? He can fuck other women and ignore you for a year? Because I'm really not seeing the appeal." Okay, so maybe she isn't speechless.

"No. It doesn't matter because we're not together anymore. I asked for a legal separation tonight."

"Holy shit," she gasps. "Really? Ana, why did I not know this?"

I wrap my arms around myself and start pacing. "No one knew. Well, Gail knew. She found me a sobbing mess on the floor the day I came home after my first meeting with the lawyer, and I ended up telling her. But I guess I thought that talking about it made it too real. It was too painful to go there when I have to wake up every day and basically be a single mother. I had to hold it together for them and if I talked about it, I didn't think I would be able to."

Kate launches herself at me and pulls me into a hug. The faucet that seems to have been connected to my eyes all night turns on again as I cling to her. After not being held for so long, my fortress begins to crumble and the numbness recedes to reveal heartache.

"Oh, Ana. I'm so sorry. I can't believe how strong you are, but there is no way you deserved to feel so alone in this." She steps back to look at me. "Whatever you need, I'm here. We're getting through this together. You are a whole and complete human being, no Christian Greys required, do you hear me?"

I nod and wipe my nose with the back of my hand. "I wish it felt like that," I confess.

Kate pulls me over to the couch in front of my desk, taking the blanket off the back of it and wrapping us both in it. "What do you mean?"

"Being with him is all I know. I don't even know what I feel right now… it's so confusing. I miss him so much, but at the same time, I don't even know who he is, and if I stayed, I feel like I'll never know which version of him I'm going to get. And the worst thing is, there was a part of me that had these fears when I married him. I barely knew anything about life, we'd known each other for five minutes and honestly, part of me felt like he only proposed because he wanted to… acquire me. Possess me. And I loved him, but I know my heart was at the wheel more than my head. Deep down, I think I knew something like this could happen. I don't know if we were ready to really handle a marriage."

"Damn, Steele. If publishing doesn't work out, you ever thought about psychology?"

I laugh and smack her arm, then sigh. "This is all such a shitshow."

"I know. We should really have our own reality show. Like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, except… Getting Down with the Greys." We both burst out laughing and then cover our mouths, remembering the kids upstairs.

"Brilliant idea. You can talk to Kavanaugh Media about producing that."

Kate stands up and offers her hand to help me up. "Okay, well, on this episode, Kate and Ana are going to go to sleep and then do something fun tomorrow. Maybe a nice kid-friendly ice cream and movie day, or maybe Teddy and Phoebe can go stay with the grandparents while Mommy gets hideously drunk with Aunt Kate."

We get ready for bed as quietly as possible, then both settle into the guest room I was sheltering in when she came. For a while, we just lay next to each other and stare at the ceiling, chatting as sleep evades us.

"Ana… if you don't mind my asking, why a separation? Why not a divorce?" Kate whispers.

I sigh. "Really only because of the publicity. Despite everything… he's worked so hard this last year. He's doing something great with his green initiative. I don't want to distract from that, but I also can't stay and pretend like everything is okay… so this seemed like the best option. It's a three-month agreement, and then we can either file a new one, or go ahead with the divorce." The irony that our time together is potentially beginning and ending with a three-month contract sends me into uncontrollable, slightly delirious giggles.

Kate catches up with me quickly. "What the fuck are we laughing about?" she gasps in between spasms.

"I have no idea… it's better than crying, I guess?" And with that, we giggle ourselves to sleep.

I wake up at the crack of dawn feeling emotionally hungover. Kate is snoring softly beside me, so I quietly get up to peek in on the kids. They're both as zonked out as they could be. As much as their being asleep gives me a break, I almost wish one of them would wake up early so I would have something to focus on besides this… turmoil inside me.

I walk downstairs, pausing in the entryway as I return to the scene of the crime. A glint of light catches my eye and I see a pen sitting next to the papers on the coffee table. Slowly, I walk forward and nearly have a coronary when I see Christian's name neatly signed on the line.

I pick up the papers in disbelief. When was he even here? I don't know how long I stand there and just stare at the ink, but finally, I take a deep breath and sign my name under his.

And so begins a new chapter.

I feel relieved and liberated and confused and alone all at the same time. As I wander around the quiet, cavernous house trying to collect my thoughts, I find myself in our bedroom. Being in here used to feel like my safest space. The place where love, connection, passion, all the hearts and flowers I could ever ask for came together. As I stand here now, I feel like an interloper. Like I'm standing in someone else's house, remembering someone else's life.

The fourth finger on my left hand begins to feel too heavy. I lift my ostentatious rings up into the subtle morning light. They glimmer and shine, reflecting scattered rainbows across the wall. I hold my breath and tentatively slip them off, placing them onto the dresser.

I shake my hand out, adjusting to the change in weight. And suddenly, the weight of the change my life is going through begins to sink in. I place both hands on my chest and try to regulate my breathing. Once I come back down to earth, I trudge back to the bedroom we slept in to see if Kate is awake. I need distraction.

I see her sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to the door. I lightly knock. "Hey, so for breakfast, I was thinking…" My thoughts trail off as Kate turns and I see what she's holding.

My notebook.

I freeze and glance back and forth from Kate's face to the book in her hands. Her eyes are filled with unshed tears and she's looking at me as if she's seeing me for the first time.

"Ana… did you write these? Holy shit. They're amazing. I had no idea."

A/N: Going forward, do you want longer chapters or more frequent (like dailyish) updates? Let me know in reviews or messages! xo

What do you think Ana is working on?