Chapter 8: Heart-Shaped Box

They reached the original location of Cal's sequestered dream, which was still a totally sweet view of the deserted city below. Anyway, the super-hybrid clapped his hands once and proceeded with the talkative stuff, and believe me, here it comes.

"So, any questions?"

Everyone else remained timid.

"Uh…don't you wanna know anything? About what just happened?"

Kurt, who had long since powered down from his super silvery form, just said, "It's a lot to take in, man."

"You don't say. Hm, well…I know I owe Sora and Kairi an explanation, at the very least, so…join me alone on that precariously scary cliff, Kairi. We'll have a chitchat."

Cal began walking over to the edge of the cliff, then stopping midway when he heard no one following him. "Hey, there. I don't wanna talk to myself—the shit gets weird, even for me."

Apprehensively, Kurt put in his two cents, "Maybe this isn't a good idea, Cal."

Sora suggested, "I can go with Kairi. Just talk to us both."

"It's okay," Kairi finally spoke up for herself. "I can talk to him alone."

After a nod, Sora said, "Well, no offense, Cal, but that means I have to keep an eye on you."

Cal scoffed, rolled his eyes, sucked his teeth, smirked, rolled his eyes again, and said, "Pfft, cuh, pssh—yeah, that might be a good idea."

Sora and Mickey found that half amusing, half creepy, and Kairi justifiably walked with caution. Cal eventually made it to the cliff, where he sat and reclined slightly. Kairi sat next to him, getting the first question out of the way, "You're gonna be okay, right?"

"Yeah. A little crystal-skin never hurt nobody." Cal said that in his formidable Texas accent, and he smiled at the city with pride. Keeping the accent going, he added, "I bet you're wonderin' how and why I know those two guys, right?"

Kairi looked from the deserted city to Cal's largely inattentive face, saying, "Kurt told me a little about them. He said you uh, wrote them in a separate timeline, right?"

"Damn skippy." Cal and the accent were one in the same.

"Then…why?"

Cal closed his eyes, and he said with no accent whatsoever, "Because I wanted to."

Kairi wanted to know more, so she asked, "Why would you want to—?"

"That's who I am. They are me, and I am them."

Shocked, she interrogated him, "Cal, you've never done anything like they have, have you?"

He reopened his eyes and stared out at the distance. "No, and so far, their influence is still fairly easy to resist. And that brings me to my first philosophical question—should I kill myself?"

Briefly stunned, she said, "What—? No, you shouldn't kill yourself! You should get help if you think that's the direction you're headed."

"Sure, sure. Let's say I do get help. And I do get better. Like, those thoughts of harming someone in that way are gone completely. Ain't it still more thorough if I eliminate myself?" The Texas accent briefly and gloriously returned in that last sentence.

The princess, now realizing she was his free shrink for the time being, replied tactfully, "I wouldn't say so…I mean, don't you think you deserve to live? What sense does it make to kill yourself over something you might do?"

"Well, for one, I may not have done what they did, but I've done plenty of other crap I can't stand replaying in my head—my sober, sober head. I can't forgive myself." He suddenly asked, "Hey, you saw that station thing inside my heart, right?"

Suffering whiplash from that quick change of subject, Kairi said, "Uh—yeah. It had pictures of you and Kurt…a girl, another guy, and a cross."

"Oh, you remember. So get this—remember when I screamed my way back to this dream world, or whatever? I was actually screaming my way out of my heart. Spooky, right?" While Kairi chuckled uneasily, he added, "And for good reason—those stupid pictures wouldn't stay broken! No matter how many times I shattered them, they just kept fixing themselves, like something out of a horror movie. Couldn't even get rid of the girl."

Shaking her head, Kairi asked, "Well…who was that girl?"

"She was…sheesh." Cal sighed. "Lemme explain it efficient-like. She's my obsession, going on six years, even though I hardly know her. More than a few times, all that obsession has come out rather inappropriately, resulting in one or ten, or twenty, 'down bad' messages that were too long and too ridiculous to live down."

Kairi found that amusing, so she smiled. "You were…'down bad'?"

"Down Judas Iscariot, baby. It's disgusting to admit, when you've thought about someone every single solitary day for the last six years, and they want nothing to do with you. I've known other girls, drank until unconscious, and curb-stomped so many brain cells—now, it feels like something I deserve. The next thing and probably last thing I'm about to try is…sobriety. Abstinence. And absolute cessation from all the things I can't bear to be apart of any longer."

Kairi's smile had long since drifted away, but it returned slightly at hearing his resolution. "…Those things all sound like a good start. Aren't you religious?"

"Uhhh…well, short answer's no. It's on my to-do list to denounce my religion and live a sober, solitary life until I commit suicide. And that's because I know God exists. The one thing I ask for is to be left alone, and believe me, that prayer gets heard."

"Well, why be alone if you're feeling bad? Friends can help you through tough times."

"Then remind me to make some." Cal shook his head. "Certain people make you feel more alone than you want to be."

"You can't just block everyone who gets too close," Kairi stated. "What about that good kid you finally accepted as a part of you? I'm sure he likes being friendly…more than you do."

"Aha!" Cal exclaimed triumphantly. "You just activated my trap card! You see, I do bad things whenever I meet new people, or breathe, and the kid in me hates doing bad things, so clearly, I have to commit suicide at my own leisure."

"Cal—what the fu—? You're just saying that because you're too scared to face yourself!"

"Wrong again. I'm just saying that because I wanna say I freed myself one day."

"How are you gonna say anything if you're dead, dummy?" Kairi admonished.

"How about a ouija board, genius?" Cal fired back.

"You're being stupid."

"Wonderful." Cal chuckled. "I hope we never meet again, Kairi. I don't need the stress. Go get Sora for me?"

"Wait a second. Tell me more about the girl."

"Oh, the girl? She's nothing, not a thing, isn't something, and resembles not anything. I made her up."

"Is she hot?"

"…Jump."

Meanwhile, Sora and the others watched from afar, listening to Kairi laugh while Cal flipped her the bird. With a smirk, Sora asked, "Wonder what all that's about?"

Giggling, Minnie suggested, "I bet he's still got a crush on Kairi."

Comically suspicious, Sora pondered, "Maybe I should keep an even closer eye on them?"

Kurt, however, stayed silent, looking on somberly at Cal.

Back with Cal, he reiterated, "I hate you, for real. I'm anti-you."

"I think you're too stressed out," Kairi replied. "Taking it easy does wonders for Sora, so maybe it'll help you, too!"

"Yeah—I'll give it a shot. Goodbye for n—"

"Seriously, try it. Do you live next to a beach?"

"Bump the beach, and bump you, too."

"Aw, c'mon—who doesn't like the beach?" Kairi complained. "It's got sunshine, and waves, and sand—"

"I am like this close to telling you how much I hate sand. Like, this close."

"You're so negative—"

"It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere—"

"All right, all right, I get it!"

"Thanks. Go get Sora."

"Hm."

"Hurry up—"

Cal's visage hardened into pure animosity mixed with unbridled fury, topped with based rage, sprinkled with a little arousal, and finally garnished in pissed-off flakes, all because Kairi hugged him.

"Be yourself," she told him.

Eventually, she got up and left, and Sora arrived to sit in her place. All upbeat and cheery, he presumed, "Guess you guys had a nice chat, huh?"

"I guess. So anyway, I want to see a lot of people die, painfully and slowly."

"Okay, whoa. Take it easy." Sora put some thought into his next sentence. "Is that just the bad guys talking?"

"They are me, and I am them. We hate stupidity, and I realize my world is filled with it, among other detestable traits. I want someone to come along and erase it all, but then again, that certain someone may just choose to watch us all burn."

Sora did his best to deconstruct all that, "O-okay, whoa, again. Is it because of the virus thing that's happening over there? Is that why you're in a bad mood all of a sudden?"

"The virus is nothing compared to the human race's own plague of wokeness. We can't even agree on the basic principles of human biology—men are men, and women are women. But suddenly, that's offensive to freaks. Half of my nation wants freaks to be the new normal, which means being normal makes you Hitler. Tell me, Sora—how the hell do babies get made?"

"U-uh, like this?" He made a lewd hand gesture.

"Are you sure it's not like this?" Cal pressed his index fingers together. "Or like this?" He then pressed whatever the vagina-hands are called together. "Or how about this?" He literally rubbed his knuckles together.

"Nah, that's not right," Sora answered, albeit fearfully.

"Some have said men can become pregnant, or even have a menstrual cycle. To that, I say exactly what's on my mind: gross. And I know that makes me toxic. I wanna be toxic, Sora. I love being toxic. Helps me feel alive in that crumbling world."

"You know, I get the feeling you're having some rough times in your world—"

"I really don't want to see my fellow logic-lovers suffer in a world that hates them so much, where being a conservative Caucasian male is equated with white supremacy—where Hollywood is seen as virtuous—where they teach kids about sexuality in elementary school. Antifa, George Soros, boys in dresses…they're trying to eradicate masculinity—and femininity, too. You know what happens when you get rid of authentic traits of men and women? You turn confusion into a normal, everyday thing. Then, confusion leads to extreme vulnerability. And because no one accepts basic logic, so goes the accountability when we let someone victimize us. I guess we need it."

"I don't know what your world is like, Cal, but you can't want death on so many people like this. My own world went through a traumatic event two years ago, and we're still rebuilding from it. Everyone got affected, and though you might say you want the worst, you don't know what it's like until you're experiencing it."

"Sora, Sora…I don't need to go through 'the worst' to know it's a bad thing for all. I like to think I'm in a unique position. I can…let go of certain connections a lot easier than ever before. I've done it many times already… Hopefully, I'll just live and die alone."

"Cal—how the heck did you get like this? It's so weird for me, since I met you when you were a kid, like, a few hours ago. You seemed so nice and happy, then. Like, what made you start hating everything?"

"Life. There's just no explaining it."

"Well…I remember a time when I wanted to abandon all my friends. Really, just Riku and Kairi. It was long after we grew apart in Square Enix…and I guess I was mad at them because of it. You see, they did something a while back…without telling me—"

"You mean when they banged?"

"…Ugh—yeah. Kinda wish you eased into that a little more, but whatever. Anyway, for a while, I started hanging out with literally anyone else but them, not that we hung out at all to begin with, but…I was angry, and I didn't know how to get over it. I was partying, drinking, mass-murdering my brain cells—anything to keep myself away from them, and honestly I still kinda do that last thing, but it's in somewhat-good moderation. Eventually, I had to remember why I love them so much, and when I did, it felt like my heart was finally open again. Man…that feels like so long ago. It all happened before Kingdom Hearts III."

"I hear ya. I bet it helps that Kairi actually loves you, too. But listen closely: I don't have a Riku in my life, and I definitely don't have a Kairi. I like that you have them, and I'd rather be alone if it means you get to be happy. Your world makes me feel loved, even if I don't have any tangible connection to it. Even if it's all in my head…I still find peace."

Sora reasoned, "But you can still find someone. Even if they're not just like them, you and I can be in the same boat. Or raft…"

"Whatever you say, my slightly more optimistic videogame counterpart." Cal glared at the distance. "And let's say I do find them. I didn't grow up with them like you did. That's why it's a little less difficult to accept this." He gave a quick glance back at Kairi and the others. She was showing them some new dance move she learned. "But seeing you with her does make me happy, Sora. I guess…I've learned to adapt."

But Sora didn't seem happy to hear that. "But…you shouldn't have to feel that way. Like you're missing something."

Cal smiled. "It's all relative. When you're happy, I'm happy. Don't ever feel guilty because of what you have. Keep it, and never take it for granted. Now, don't you wanna know about that guy claiming to be your pops?"

"Huh…? Uh, yeah, I guess."

"Newsflash: he's not your pops. At least not in this timeline. Where he's from, he's used to you being a little less confident in yourself. Today, you showed him otherwise. So, what do you know about your real dad?"

Sora shook his head, and then shrugged. "Only a little bit. I remember him being there when I was younger, but not much more than that. It's one of those things Square Enix holds back from my memories."

"Hm. What a world. Maybe one day, they'll get off their asses actually let you be a human being."

"Right…"

"Hey, you tap that, yet?"

Suffering whiplash, Sora sputtered, "W-what?"

"That means 'sex'. Have you had 'sex' with Kairi yet?"

The mid to post-pubescent lad stated awkwardly, "We're, uh…not ready to do that just yet."

"Wow." Cal was impressed. "You told me that with little to no fear. I truly look up to you, Sora. So, what, you two waitin' to become legal adults, or hwat?" The Texas accent returned with a vengeance.

"I mean—that's never really stopped us before in past relationships," Sora replied with a reddened smirk. "We're really just taking it slow. We wanna learn as much about each other as possible before we take the next st—"

"Yeahyeahyeah—did you just say 'stopped us'? Like…you know about the other dudes she's been with?!"

Somewhat stunned, Sora's wry grin said it all. Then, he actually said, "…Little bit."

"Aw—no wucking fay! I've been trying to figure out her sexual history for so long!"

Then, there was this awkward silence.

It was brief; Cal admitted, "All right, I know that was weird. I, uh…uh…yeah—so, yeah. Pretty awesome stuff, though."

"Wait—bring that back. Why do you need to know about her sexual history?"

"Well, I don't need to know. But, uh…it helps to 'complete the puzzle' or…or whatever."

"'Complete the puzzle'—? Cal, what in the name of ass—?"

"So, okay—so, I know your sexual history fairly well, and in a way, that's good enough for me. But then again…knowing hers would kick some serious ass—"

"Wait—how do you know mine?!"

"You really wanna know?"

"Yeah—please tell me."

Cal cleared his throat. "…You ready?"

"Hit me."

"Every girl you've ever slept with was implanted with a tiny clone of myself—"

"Aw, eat yourself alive, you lying prick A-hole—!" Thus, Sora and Cal shared a quick and dirty laugh. Then, Sora was all like, "So, Cal, you wanna kiss?"

And Cal said, "Aw, dude, you're gay, dude! So flippin' gay with your gay self—! But yeah, kinda."

Thence, more guffaws were hee-hawed on the spot, and thankfully, no spittle was ostensibly transmitted between them. Meanwhile, Kairi and the others were taken aback by the audibly vulgar language being currently exchanged from afar. Just because he could, Mickey chuckled and gave his adage, "I guess boys will be boys."

Kairi then said, "It's like watching Sora and Riku hang out." She laughed. "They're so gay."

Even Kurtis chuckled, breaking his silence with, "No comment."

Back with Cal and Master Xehanort's body-possessed Terra's Nobody's Organization's Thirteenth Member's Somebody (showtime!), they enjoyed a brief lull while the wind blew. Then, Cal said, "We should let the king complete his mission. Sounds somewhat important."

They stood up and rejoined the others. Nodding, the silver-haired hybrid announced, "Well, I've got a life to crash through. Either get naked or get out."

All smiles, Mickey walked up and held out his hand. "It sure was nice meeting you, Caleel."

Cal smiled back. Taking the monarch's hand, he said, "I prefer Cal. But yeah, I needed you, and you were there." With little warning, he hugged the great mouse. "Thanks, always."

"Shucks—no problem!"

Cal also took the opportunity to take a bow for the queen. "Your Highness—thank you for having that totally broken Faith spell in KH2. It hits bad guys in all the right places—including myself."

Minnie blinked, looking deadpan at him. "At least you're cute."

"Damn skippy—now, the rest of you—get a move on. I'm 'bout to get toxic."

Kairi jested, "Too late."

Holding out his Star Cluster Keyblade, Mickey summoned the gate back to the real world. Before leading everyone through, he said, "I hope to see you soon, pal. Remember your light. And Kurt, thanks for everything."

Minnie, Kairi, and Sora all bid their farewells before following the king, and the gate disappeared behind them.

A little more upbeat than before, Kurt turned to Cal and said, "So, I see you've got your work cut out for you."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, the red-eyed hybrid agreed, "Oh so much work."

"You're done with alcohol?"

"Easily."

"Hangin' out with losers, too?"

"All the way."

Kurt smirked. "How about gettin' laid?"

Cal visibly winced. "Ugh…I'll walk it off."

Kurt chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes. And last but not least, aren't ya done smoking your life away?"

"Hmph. Hell yeah, I am. Not to mention I'm done smoking away my white teeth, my beautiful lungs, my brain cells, my hair—God, save my hair."

Kurt rested a hand on Cal's shoulder. "Good."

"Nothing left to do but plot and scheme, amigo. And to develop those little projects of mine, too, of course."

Kurt took a stern tone. "Your twenty-seventh is coming up next year. You're gonna knock it out, right?"

"It's approaching quickly. And from what I can discern…sorry, no Club Twenty-Seven for me." He shrugged. "At least not by my hand."

Kurt withdrew his hand with a smile. "Marvelous, Cal. Marvelous."

Nodding, the hybrid said, "Let's keep rockin'."

Behold, Cal's very form glowed brightly, and he smiled as he dissolved back to his world. Kurt smiled with pride, then looking surprised when he spotted a floating green jewel in the place Cal previously stood.