CHAPTER 31 - THIS IS THE WAY

Leia had never seen how the Imperial war machine worked from the inside. And her brief stay on the Death Star didn't count. Back then, she had been scared and focused only on saving valuable Rebel information and, later on, on a rather spontaneous escape. Her first time on the Chimera hadn't been particularly remarkable either - the shuttle had landed in a small, half-empty hangar, from which Leia had then been escorted to Thrawn's quarters. The most exciting thing then had been a flashy elevator trip, which had lasted for about two minutes.

But now, things were different. It was already past midnight when their ship was ready to depart for the Executor, and when they entered the main-hanger this time, Leia was greeted by a truly astonishing amount of activity: slender rows of olive-clad soldiers and stormtroopers in white armour, lines of TIE-fighters gleaming in all their deathly glory, as well as landing shuttles ready for the next ground operation. Everyone was on full alert, ready to leave their current position at any second to engage in combat.

Then an honorary escort of six stormtroopers, in shiny black armour, surrounded them. Deathtroopers, the Grand Admiral's personal guard. They were legendary in the Alliance; as of those who encountered them, few returned alive. The smooth lines of the silver shuttle gleamed predatorily in the artificial light and when the gangway opened, the stormtroopers were the first to enter, taking their seats at opppoiste sides of the cabin. The pilot was already in the cockpit, which was separated from the main cabin by an impenetrable wall. Sinking into the unusually wide, soft beige leather chairs that were exclusive to shuttles of members of Imperial High Command and sitting next to Grand Admiral Thrawn, Leia couldn't help but feel how... wrong all of this was. The whole situation was like a never-ending bad dream, and it kept getting worse. At last, Thrawn gave the order to take off and the shuttle dived softly, almost silently, into the blackness of space.

Leia wasn't afraid, but found that she should be. It was as if she was wrapped in a soft blanket, which seemed so comfortable and safe, that she just wanted to relax and let go of all her worries. But then she noticed someone's barely perceptible presence at the edge of her consciousness.

Ah, that, of course, explained a lot!

`Are you trying to influence me again?` Leia said clearly inside her mind and then turned her head towards Thrawn, glaring at him. The tips of his lips lifted in a slight half-smile.

"You noticed. Very good," he said aloud, taking Leia's hand into his, entwining their fingers. She tried to free herself, but the Chiss gently held her hand in place and the physical touch burned like fire.

"You shouldn't see it as influencing, but rather as... support." he bowed his head slightly and briefly closed his eyes.

"Is that better?"

His presence in the Force had disappeared, as had the calmness, which, only seconds before, had enveloped her. She felt cold and dark inside and suddenly the dark figures of the stormtroopers annoyed her and Leia felt the urge to test their armour's strength.

"Support?" Leia raised an eyebrow in doubt. She wished she could believe it, but, in the end, she saw nothing but another manipulation attempt of her husband. Yes, she felt better with his `support´, but without it, she was at least able to think soberly.

"And ease my overreactions, keep me from acting rashly?"

Thrawn shook his head. "No. And if I really wanted to do that... you would not notice it. I wasn't hiding from you."

Leia looked up at him, expecting to see a mocking look or a smirk on his thin lips, as he had been so fond of doing that before. He enjoyed showing off his strength and his `generosity´ of not using it against her, more or less saying `I could use the Force on you, but... I don't.´ However, she could see nothing of that now. No, there was nothing, except interest, the slight tilt of his head gave at least that much away. He was staring at her, studying her, with his mind, not the Force.

"Are you afraid...?"

"No," she answered a little too hastily and then she did indeed feel the said feeling; it's horrible tentacles tightening around her heart. The fact that Leia was a Force user had given her confidence. Though Thrawn was physically stronger, an experienced warrior and master manipulator, she had had the Force and a lightsaber, which had always made her feel like she could overcome him. After all, she had learned a lot in the last six months, and it was only the beginning of her training. But now her believed advantage was gone. And yes, now she feared her husband more than before. A lot more.

"Afraid" the statement, soft, caressing. His long fingers gently touched the inside of her palm. "So am I..."

His scarlet eyes flashed with fire for a moment.

Yes, why had he done this? Why had he left her with this knowledge and not made her forget? His mind had come up with dozens of safe options, but, in the end, as so often, he'd chosen the most dangerous one. The chances that Leia wouldn't betray him, wouldn't reveal his secret - accidentally or on purpose - were low. But his instincts had told him that it was important to let her in into his secret. And he had always trusted his instincts. Now, however, he was trying to comprehend his decision and to figure out how it fit into the bigger picture. On the surface there was calculation. It had been a beautiful gesture of trust that Leia was capable of appreciating. His payment for her loyalty. Nothing brought people closer than a common enemy and a shared secret - they had both. But deeper, there was something else as well. Something the mind rebelled to even consider. What if he wanted it?To play in the open? He'd once wanted to know... what it would be like to interact with Leia through the Force. What it would be like to go through life with someone equal? New facets of intimacy, new subtle sensations, a different depth in a relationship. Seeing how quickly she was learning, he had even felt the urge to share his knowledge with her and to watch how this spirited and delicate flower developed all its deadly power to finally become truly dangerous to anyone who dared to oppose her. He could use such an ally in this game. Perhaps it was one of the side effects of the ritual, but it became increasingly difficult for him to hide when the Princess was around, and right now, he simply couldn't resist to use Leia - her abilities and her connection to Skywalker find the young Force user. There was no solution more elegant than this. And the core of it all was his own passion. The desire for Leia to belong to him alone. Not just her body, her essence, her soul. The darkness inside him surged in agreement, spilling its sweet nectar through his veins.

Leia. Mine. Mine alone.

Madly, frantically, he wanted to kiss her, to squeeze her painfully in his arms, erasing the distrust that sparkled in her eyes. To touch this body, so fragile compared to his own, to feel the velvet tenderness of Human skin and her quivering heartbeat. The impulse wasn't quite appropriate now. He hesitated for a moment, but then, with a barely perceptible movement of his hand, he averted the stormtroopers' eyes and gave in to the temptation, taking Leia into his arms, kissing her.

Lothal City was surrounded by dense forests, in other words, it was a heaven for all sorts of untrustworthy citizens. The spaceship at the edge of the forest looked worn and old, and the many gunshot marks on its hulls indicated that it was not a peaceful cargo carrier.

Luke caught his breath. He was shaking inside, but his hands were still, clutching a blaster. "Out, now," he said as he walked over to the blue-skinned Twi'lek, who was cautiously examining the path towards the cockpit. He was a smuggler, one of many who hung around this part of the planet, and he had what Luke needed - an inconspicuous ship and the security codes to leave the planet.

He didn't know where to go next, so he decided to take one step at a time – starting with getting away from Vader and off the Executor, which was still hovering the system.

"Hey, kid, don't get too excited, let's make a deal..." distracting him with chatter, the Twi'lek reached for his hidden vibro-knife and was ready to deliver a deadly blow in a matter of seconds. Skywalker, however, deflected just in time and simultaneously pulled the trigger; the blaster should have been on `stun´. So why was there a scarlet stain of blood sprawled across the smuggler's back now? Had he... forgotten to change the mode? His head hurt and a nasty inner voice told him that he had done the right thing, that it was safer that way - the dead don't remember faces. Any bandit who decided to hijack a shuttle would have done the same.

Luke felt disgusted, nausea rising to his throat. He hated himself... But for what exactly? For killing an innocent bystander, whether by accident or on purpose, for his own gain? For not being able to kill Vader? For just letting the perfect opportunity pass by? Without even trying? Or was it the opposite? Was he despising himself for attacking the Dark Lord when he was at his weakest and unarmed? No honourable warrior would do that... No Jedi would. But a Sith might have. But he could have finished it. Then and there. Could have had his vengeance. What was he anyway? A Jedi, a Sith, a human, a pilot? Or just a Tatooine farmer lost in the vast expanse of the galaxy?

As a son, Luke hated himself for having felt sympathy for his father's murderer. For respecting his power. Looking into his steel-blue eyes then, Luke knew he had to choose, right then and there, who he was and on whose side he was on. And, in that decisive moment, he had cowardly realized that he couldn't do it. His revenge had lost its meaning. His chest had stung and an unbearable sense of wrongness had torn him up from within.

Levitating the dead body of its former owner from the shuttle, Luke deftly activated the control panel. The autopilot was set to Faleen. Well... he had nowhere to go anyway, so it could just as well be Falleen.

There was much speculation in the Alliance about who was hiding under Darth Vader's black armour. Some said he was an alien who couldn't breathe on his own, others timidly speculated that the suit played the role of life support, but that version was not popular. Most, however, were convinced that the armour was only a device for intimidation - the sinister breath of darkness – which gave the myth of the Emperor's executioner even more strength. They called him a 'cyborg' for his ruthlessness and brutality. They imagined a lot, but probably no one could imagine that the Empire's executioner was in reality badly scarred and that half of his body consisted of prosthetic limbs.

How did he even live like this?

Now, what was left of the once great Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, floated in a large, transparent bacta tank behind thick glass. The Sith was unconscious, his body connected to numerous sensors and machines.

What did Leia feel for him now? Sympathy, pity, regret?

Somehow, she was sure that this was the last state Vader would want her to see him in; and he certainly did not want her pity. So she gave in to the urge to leave the room, while out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the announcement that the bacta procedure had reached its end.

Already in the waiting room, she almost dumped into a man in a white coat and a stern look on his face, his lips tightly pressed together.

"You're his daughter, Leia?" he didn't really ask, it was more a statement of thought. "Do you wish to inquire about his condition?" His voice sounded cold, almost cynical.

Leia nodded.

"Not much worse than usual. His Lordship does not take much care of himself, as you might have noticed." "What happened to him?"

"You never really know when you're dealing with Darth Vader... But when he arrived here, he had lost a lot of blood and some of his life-support systems were failing. We compensated for the blood loss and got the ventilator system up and running again. According to my experiences with his healing process, I had thought that he would be back on the bridge by lunchtime the next day. But then something went wrong, because when I visited him in the evening, he had a fresh lightsaber burns, and parts of a broken medical droid were scattered all over the room. But now the Commander-in-Chief's vital functions are as normal as they can be, considering his state."

"Why... What happened to him?" Leia didn't know what she wanted to ask. Who had done this to him? How could be still be alive in this condition?

The doctor shook his head and glanced at the electronic display at the patient ward's entrance

"I think his Lordship is able to answer your questions himself now. You may go inside. If you wish."

"I can do this," Leia whispered to herself and, gathering all her courage, she returned to the ward.

Vader was sitting on the bed, still without his armour, but already wearing his prosthetic silver arms and legs, as well as a white, short-sleeved hospital shirt and pants. His face was half-covered by a breathing mask and his eyes – which she now saw for the first time - were grey-blue, attentive and cold. She took a seat in the chair beside the bed and was silent for a while.

Leia could ask about the past, what had happened to him and where those wounds had come from. Or she could ask about the present - why he was living with them. After all, cloning technology could easily ease his condition. Or she could ask about the future - what he was up to, for there was no doubt that Darth Vader had plans and, like a true Sith, he was weaving his own intrigues.

"How are you feeling... Are you alright?"

The Dark Lord nodded.

"Is that why you came here? To enquire about my health?" His voice sounded low, harsh, cracked. Through the mask, it sounded differently, lower and more resonant.

Was that Anakin Skywalker's voice?

For that and another thing, Leia thought.

Was there actually a sarcastic smirk on his lips?

"Luke... why did he run away? What happened?"

Heavy silence filled the room, but Leia continued. "Why didn't you tell him? He has a right to know that you're his father and..." A flash of gold in his blue eyes made her stop.

"So you came to lecture me," he shook his head. "The door is behind you, and I'm supposed to be resting." Well, what had she been hoping for? That Vader would suddenly open up and they would have a heart-to-heart father-daughter talk? Or that he would just tell her what had happened on his own?

It wouldn't happen. So Leia decided to focus on her own agenda instead.

Okay, let's try a different approach then, she thought, smiled slyly and then looked boldly into the Sith's eyes, reaching out to him with the Force, slightly touching his mind. The Dark Lord's mental blocks were as hard as a dura-steel wall, which was a good sign considering what she had in mind.

"Master, I want to know all about mental techniques and defences."

Vader coughed as if choking on his own laughter.

"Why? If you don't mind me asking."

Leia chose the dialogue over the exit, and rushed to the offensive.

"Well, now that you have only one apprentice, you could perhaps focus more on me, as it seems to me that I am inclined to this ... And it could be quite useful to know what's on other people's minds."

Anakin Skywalker - in her head the Princess had decided to call him that - took off his mask and hung it to the side of his bed, before he pressed a few buttons on the wall. Suddenly, the chamber filled with a light mist and denser air, which left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth.

"Your motivation does not convince me. It is too weak." he said, but with his gaze he told her to carry on.

"I would like to know what's going on in Thrawn's head," Leia said and then paused. The key was to believe in what she was saying. "And ideally manage to influence him at one point... at least to some degree. That is possible, is it not?"

"It is." Vader sighed heavily. No, mental techniques had never been his strong point. He himself had seen many possibilities in it when he had still been Padawan Learner, however, using mind-tricks was one of the last methods he used when he wanted people to do as he wished. Palpatine was different in this regard and had taught him a lot, never mind how he felt about it. And perhaps he had even learned more about the whole subject by observing his teacher.

But the really interesting question here was: Who was asking him now? A young Sith apprentice who wanted learn new and more facets of the Force? Or a young woman who wished to quietly control her husband?

"What is your answer?"

In a way, Leia left him no choice.

"If you think you can only learn what you want and ignore the rest, you're mistaken. It doesn't work that way," he said and his voice sounded just as sternly and steadily as it did through the vocoder.

"That's fine with me."

"Then how is your lightsaber training coming along?"

"The last time I practiced was two days ago. First, I blocked several blaster shots and then I spend hours cutting through the jungle. I'm still alive and, considering all that was going on, I would say I'm, doing fine." A nervous laugh filled the room. It had been some crazy holiday.

"What happened?" Was it just her imagination, or had the air in the room thickened and was now filled with anger?

"Not much," Leia was silent for a while, but then gave up. "Well, our shuttle crashed, then some mercenaries attacked to kill the Grand Admiral and, last but not least, we were forced to take a short hike through the pristine rainforests of Fiji. End of story."

"I do not like it," Vader said rather to himself. "Whoever is behind this..."

"It's Prince Xizor. He invited himself to our mansion, admitted his involvement in the attack, apologized to me for the whole incident and then inquired if I wanted to become a widow."

Now Leia knew what surprise looked like on Darth Vader's face. Her story really did sound wild.

"And you refused his services?" The Sith was calm at heart. Well, the ability to attract trouble ran in the family, as did the ability to deal with it.

"The Grand Admiral is in good health, as you know, so yes, I refused." Silent laughter flashed in her dark eyes.

"So will you teach me mental Force techniques? I won't neglect my other training, on the contrary, I am eager to learn more." Leia was shining unusually bright in the Force right now and unknowingly her mind reached out to her interlocutor.

Many would have succumbed to such compulsion and a thirst for knowledge pleased any teacher, but the Dark Lord saw something else in her as well, something that lay at the heart of her sudden desire to learn - fear. Had she been frightened by the attempt, or was it about something else entirely?

Right now, his daughter was burning with a desire to fight, but with what and against whom?

"What about Thrawn..."

"I believe he's on the bridge with Admiral Piett."

"That is not what I meant," the Sith threw back, a little harshly.

Coping with the strange irritation he'd been feeling towards Thrawn as of late was becoming increasingly difficult. They had done business together before and were allies, in a way – as far as that was possible - but for some time now, Vader felt as if he was missing out on something.

How could he ever have given his daughter to this Alien? She hadn't been his apprentice back then and he had hardly recognized her as his blood, but now, looking back, the whole situation was infuriating the Sith. He had assumed that Leia would just run away, unable to withstand neither her training, nor her marriage to the hated Imperial, while Luke would become his ally and support. The ways of the Force truly were mysterious… Now his daughter was sitting across him, showing determination and a desire to learn and to move on with her life, while his son had... run away and was somewhere in the galaxy.

The Dark Lord no longer harboured any illusions - Luke was too bright. Students like him were more likely to fall into the darkness and lose their minds, than to be able to appreciate and utilize its power. He had wanted his son to learn to control his hatred, to draw strength from it and then... well, even if he hadn't become a true Sith, at least he would have been able to interact with the Dark Side and himself. It had been necessary as he himself had no intention to change sides. And now Luke, like any Skywalker, needed some time to cool down, to blow off steam. But he would return - as an enemy to seek revenge, or as an apprentice eager to continue his training. In the end, either would do, as the Dark Lord intended to use any situation to his advantage.

"Thrawn... did he hurt you?" The question sounded strange, but it made sense; as the threads of Leia's fear were tied to the Chiss. Why?

"Errr..." Leia blinked, surprised by the question. "No. Not really... I would call him unpredictable and unsettling at times" she said frankly. Believe in what you say, so far, had been her best defence. "With him, you never quite know what to expect. But I can handle it."

Vader gave a faint nod. Yes, Leia could handle it. And he would help her to do so.

TBC