("It's harder to see through the eyes of a stranger.
It's easy to love when the world doesn't hate you.
When you try to sing out but nobody hears a word.
It's safer to swim when the tide's not against you."
"(You've been here before)
I know that I've been here before
(Never letting go)
Giving up is letting go
(Never fight alone)
But you don't have to fight alone."
"I'll shed a tear for you
Open your eyes, I'm by your side
I'm never leaving you
Darkness to light, stay through the night
I'm walking in your shoes
So you know that it's the truth
When nobody's here for you
Let me make it clear
That I'll shed a tear.")
- Kodaline, "Shed a Tear"
August - December, 2015
3rd year, age 15
The school year started out easily enough - taking the summer program definitely put her in a head start with many classes - but as their elite classes with Eric started up again, Riley had to admit that she missed being in the mainstream classes, with more students who actually would work together. Every time Eric put them through a drill, it never went as planned because everybody seemed to work against each other, instead of with.
"Riley, hang back a moment," Eric requested as the team filed out after a particularly difficult partner spar.
Josh was already out the door, but Lucas and Maya both slowed at the call, Lucas glancing back, but Maya not turning. Riley finished drinking from her bottle and wiped the sweat out of the eyes with the back of her hand.
She wanted a shower, desperately, before she went to academics. She was willing to sacrifice lunch for it.
"Sure," she agreed, groaning internally.
Maya left, and after a moment of hesitation, Lucas left too. But Riley had no doubt he was probably just outside the door still.
"How's your assignment going?" Eric probed, sitting down on a training block - one of the ones they positioned around a combat floor to use as props in a spar.
"Can we talk quieter?" Riley asked, dropping her voice as her eyes flicked to the doorway.
"Why?" Eric asked, frowning.
"Because I think Lucas is listening to our conversation," Riley admitted quietly.
Eric sighed. "That's actually what I wanted to discuss," he said, dropping his own voice so it only traveled between them. "I had hoped the summer would kick you guys into starting to cooperate and collaborate, but it didn't seem to have the desired effect."
"I know," Riley agreed. "I observe their behavior towards each other and towards me. I've tried to get them to open up and at least trust me, but they won't let me in."
"At least Maya seems to have gotten closer to you," Eric suggested. "She works better with you than with Lucas or Josh, and her cooperative levels have increased significantly since her first year evaluations."
Riley smiled a little triumphantly. She had been wary of Maya in the beginning; she didn't know if she would be able to get close to Maya. However, the more time they spent together the closer they seemed to get, and Riley actually liked Maya now. She thought Maya might even like her, too.
"Try to get closer with Lucas," Eric urged. "Do your best. I'd like to put you guys in partner training - you and Lucas, and Maya and Josh. Those seem to be the pairs that clash the most."
Riley knew he was right. "Please don't," she begged. "We're not ready yet. It will only make things worse."
"I think it will at least get something flowing," Eric disagreed. "I think it would be for the best."
Riley sighed. "I hope you're right."
As Eric got up to prep for his next class, Riley picked up her bag and headed for the door, hoping she still had time for a shower and maybe a light snack. But she wasn't surprised when she entered the hallway and saw Lucas walking a little ways down.
She lightly jogged to get next to him, and stepped in front of him. "Stop spying on me," she ordered, staring him down (well, up).
"You have a high opinion of yourself," Lucas said with a smirk, attempting to step around her.
"Well either you're a very slow walker, or you're listening to my conversations," Riley accused, side-stepping to keep in his way.
"Fine," Lucas crossed his arms, "then what's your new assignment?"
"Tell me why you were in prison," Riley suggested.
Lucas's eyes narrowed. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"
"You give a little, I give a little," Riley offered. "It's called compromise."
Lucas's eyes studied her, and Riley felt a little shudder ripple down her spine at the intensity of his gaze.
"Well?" She prodded. "If you don't want to know, I have to go back to my dorm and take a shower."
"I nearly killed someone," Lucas let out, his eyes leaving Riley's to stare at the wall across the hallway.
"Why?" Riley asked.
"He tried to hurt a friend," Lucas stated simply. "I didn't mean to permanently damage his spine, but that was what was left when the red vision cleared. Didn't know my own strength. Judge ruled assault and battery and I was sent to juvie." He swallowed. "He'll be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life."
"Do you regret it?" Riley questioned, her voice going softer as things started being put into place.
"Yes," Lucas stated without hesitation. "I regret that it went that far, but I don't regret protecting my friend. I just didn't know how much I had hurt him until… after."
"So when you broke my arm," Riley trailed off, chewing her lip as she felt a burst of pride that she had gotten through to him.
"I thought I had really hurt you," Lucas admitted, glancing down. "I thought that I didn't have any control over my own strength and I had no idea how to get control. That scared the life out of me, Matthews. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea what kind of damages I had done to you." He shrugged limply. "I hated the idea of hurting you. I hated the idea of you being hurt, and if I had no control over you being hurt, especially if you did stupid things," he narrowed his eyes at her, "then there was no way I was taking that chance again."
Riley nodded a little, moving back. "My new assignment was my old assignment. Get close to you guys. Be friends. Gain trust."
"Trust goes both ways," Lucas pointed out.
"You're right," Riley agreed, smiling a little. "So if I tell you the truth from now on?"
"I'll tell you the truth too," Lucas promised. "Just don't do anything stupid."
"I don't want permanent damage any more than you do," Riley laughed.
Riley wasn't sure that Lucas would actually keep up with his promise, but she stopped noticing him following her around, and when they sparred he actually seemed to put all in. What was really different, however, was how he didn't seem to be against her anymore. Sure, he still seemed to avoid working with Josh and seemed indifferent to Maya, but Riley had gotten through to him. He didn't ignore her opinions or challenge her ideas anymore. He genuinely listened to her and worked with her, and it amazed her that, somehow, one tiny interaction had changed their entire relationship.
Within a couple of weeks, the entire dynamic of their group flipped - even if it was just concerning Riley.
"I don't know how you do it," Maya admitted when Riley opened her door. Maya pushed through past Riley, and Riley let the door hang open as she turned to keep her gaze on the blonde.
"Come in?" Riley mumbled.
"I mean, it's not like they're easy to work with," Maya continued.
"Do what?" Riley cut in to clarify Maya's first statement before she could continue to ramble on.
"Work with people," Maya deadpanned. She turned in Riley's small room to look around, seeing Riley's desk, covered in language books, and her twin sized bed with purple blankets. The posters on her wall were all positive, encouraging quotes, like "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream!" and "Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try!" and "Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken!"
Riley began to itch with uncomfort as Maya's gaze fell back on her, and she waited for her to say something. Riley tried very hard to keep her 'happy, positive, smiley' personality down, and there was a reason she never let anyone in her room. It was her secret haven away from her fake serious school personality, the one she despised so much.
But instead of making fun of her for her ridiculous posters, Maya asked, "Why don't you have a roommate?"
Surprised, Riley balked for a moment. "Uh…"
"Like, I can understand you having your own bedsheets," Maya gestured to her bed, which was covered in sheets and blankets that were definitely not the academy provided standard (they were allowed to have their own things, but a significant portion of the student body just didn't have the money or care), "but aren't you supposed to have a roommate? There's not even another bed in here."
"My mom pulled strings to get me a single," Riley confessed hesitantly, a little embarrassed to admit that she had gotten special treatment. "I take more courses and study more, so I needed a space where I didn't have to agree with a roommate on bedtimes and study habits."
Maya frowned, but moved on. "I don't get how you can work with them when they're so… frustrating."
"I learned how to deal with Josh a long time ago, and Lucas and I are building trust," Riley explained. "And I got through to you, didn't I?"
"Why is it so easy for you?" Maya asked exasperatedly, and Riley laughed out loud.
"You think it's easy for me?" Riley asked incredulously. "Building a friendship with you was really hard, especially when you didn't even like me from the beginning. I just did the thing you do with traumatized animals, where you sit in the same room and wait for them to realize you're not a threat so they come out and start to trust you."
"You treated me like a traumatized animal?" Maya asked, narrowing her eyes. After a moment though, the two girls burst out into laughter. "Alright fine, I have to admit it was a good strategy."
"You think?" Riley grinned at her. "You were kind of a traumatized animal."
"Trauma comes in all different flavors," Maya pointed out. "You seem to have experienced some of your own."
Riley tipped her head, wondering where that observation had come from. In her two years of knowing her, she hadn't known Maya to take notice of other people's emotions and issues. "I may not be my mom's favorite, but she is what she is. You do what you can to survive in this life, right?"
Maya smiled a little, unconsciously, as her gaze studied Riley. "I never thought you, of all people, would end up being my friend," she confessed.
Riley smiled a little too. "Honestly," she admitted, "me neither. But I'm glad you are."
The two took a step forward towards each other at the same time, and they both laughed a little as Riley's eyes met Maya's.
"Also," Riley said, "mind keeping this room's… decor a secret?"
"Whatever you want," Maya shrugged, grinning a little as the two locked eyes again and felt the connection begin to grow.
Honestly, it was nice to have a real friend.
Their courses only got more and more intense as the months went on, and Riley knew that it wouldn't get any easier. At least they weren't doing mocks yet - she had no doubt that would break them all.
The only outlying factor in her plan was her brother. Josh made it hard to work with, with anyone, and the fact that Riley was his sister didn't actually help as much as she thought it would. Eric swapped them out for each other with partner spars, mixing up the teams as much as he could. He kept Riley in the loop of his plans, and pushed them further in their program courses. They had monthly evals, and Riley was proud whenever she saw a note from her mother on her reports.
It wasn't until December that Eric revealed their course plans for the next semester, and Riley was in the student lounge with an apple, annotating the reports when Lucas sank down next to her on the couch.
"Riley Matthews reading?" He observed in a mocking-shocked tone.
Riley glanced up and narrowed her eyes, punching him lightly on the arm. "I read. I read all of my textbooks and homework. You just only see me in program courses with you now."
"I just meant that you're always on your feet," Lucas smirked. He leaned over to glance over what she was reading. "Your course list?"
Riley nodded, taking another bite of her apple as she continued down the list.
Language: Level 1.2
Bengali
Portugese
French
Language: Level 2.2
Arabic
Malay
Russian
Combat: Level 3.2
Hand-to-hand
Blade
Gun training
Strength: Level 3.2
Track
Weight lifting
Flexibility
Tumbling
Climbing
Undercover prep: Level 1.2
Impersonation
Personality building
Medical basics
Data collection basics
Computer hacking basics
"How are we supposed to fit all of these courses and academics into the week?" Lucas asked.
"We switch off days and give up some free time," Riley answered absentmindedly. "You wanted to be in this elite accelerated program."
"I didn't know it would be like this," Lucas admitted. "You may have been raised into it but I didn't even consider this kind of school or work until I was fourteen."
"Sorry," Riley said, looking up. "Sometimes I forget."
"It's alright," he assured her. "How are your language classes coming?"
"Āmi bāṅālira sāthē laṛā'i karachi, kintu partugija bhāṣāẏa bhāla karachi," Riley said in Bengali, and smiled at Lucas's blank look before translating, "I'm struggling in Bengali, but doing fine in Portuguese."
"I don't know how you guys learn so much in so little time," he confessed. "It's honestly amazing."
"I do my best," Riley downplayed, looking back down at her annotations.
"When do you spend time for yourself?" Lucas asked.
"'Time for myself'?" Riley asked, her turn to look blank as she stared up at him.
Lucas gestured around at the other students in the lounge, laughing and eating snacks with each other in their free hour - it was about 7pm. "Fun, relaxation, friends?"
"You're my friend," Riley pointed out. "So is Maya."
"You're really kind of isolated, huh?" Lucas observed, frowning.
Riley stayed silent, focusing down on her paper again. She didn't want to admit that he could be right - she had no social life. Another reason she missed mainstream classes, or perhaps public school. She missed her dad, too, and her little brother. But she had no time to go home, especially not now.
"Alright, put away the paper," Lucas ordered, and Riley glanced up in surprise.
"What?"
"We're going for a work-free dinner," Lucas declared, and Riley snorted.
"No we're not," she rejected. "I have way too much work to do."
"You can spare an hour," Lucas suggested.
"I really can't," Riley countered. "In an hour I could finish my personality profile, medical write up, English essay-"
"You'll burn out," Lucas replied. He crossed his arms. "You need a break."
"Yeah, that'd be nice," Riley scoffed. "Unfortunately, not a luxury I can afford if I want to go home for winter break."
"Your parents won't let you come home if you don't finish your work?" Lucas asked, stunned.
"My dad might, but even if my mom agreed, she'd act disappointed in me the whole time," Riley answered. She shook her head and looked down. "I don't know your family situation, Friar, but mine is complicated. And I need to succeed if I don't want it to get even more complicated."
Lucas hesitated, but eventually snatched the paper from her hands and darted away.
"Lucas!" Riley shrieked, jumping up to follow him. "Give it back!"
"Work free dinner," Lucas ordered, holding it up higher than she could reach as she jumped for it. "Work free dinner and I'll give it back."
"You're making a scene!" Riley accused, glaring at him as she gave up.
"Actually," Lucas grinned devilishly, "you're making the scene."
Riley huffed in annoyance before groaning. "Fine. If I get a 'work free dinner' you'll leave me alone?"
"Yup," Lucas promised.
Riley rolled her eyes and shook her head as he handed her back the paper and she went back to grab her bag and stuff it in. She crossed her arms exasperatedly and nodded to him to follow her. "Dining hall?"
A/N: Today is my 20th birthday :) I told myself I wouldn't do any homework today, so here's a chapter!
We've got the real start of Rilaya friendship, the beginning of Rucas, and a bunch of other fun stuff in this chapter! I'm not really in love with how this chapter ended, but I just wanted it to end. I think that a Josh chapter will be next so I can really try to kickstart Joshaya. I've got so many fun emotions-charged scenes already written for later chapters; I just need to get there, you know? I don't know how to get them going as a couple (I've never written this trope so I'm doing my best!)
I'm also trying to figure out my timeline for after the academy, so that's stressful. I know events that will happen, but I can't decide where they will happen on a timeline. I'm working on it. In the meantime, we'll write the academy chapters! Yay!
Please review!
Kisses,
C
P.S.: I'm looking for some beta readers to read chapters and give me input before I post them. I would share a separate google doc with you and ask for comments (not my real personal email account). PM me if you're interested!