Set This Dance Alight
AKA Friday Night's STILL Alright for Fighting.
RORY: You could have said something!
ISLA: But you didn't.
LORELAI: You should have said something!
EMILY: But you didn't.
RORY: No discussion. No nothing. No anything. And you just walked her off to Planned Parenthood.
TYLER: There was no me walking her, because she walked herself. There was no nothing, because I didn't know anything at the time. There was no discussion, because she didn't even tell me until after the fact. Besides, I think we're all missing the most important point, here. Despite my personal feelings on the matter – and all of yours, apparently – it was her choice.
NATE: Rory, you said – you told me you didn't know who the father was.
RORY: Because I didn't! Conclusively.
NATE: You lied to me.
RORY: By omission.
NATE: Rory, we don't do that. We don't lie. We do not lie. Not to each other. I can't believe … all these years … and about him? Really?
RORY: I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to –
NATE: Find out? Yeah, I got that.
RORY: We weren't supposed to – nobody was supposed to – I didn't want to know. OK? Nobody was supposed to know. Nobody.
NATE: Not even the father?
RORY: Please stop calling him that.
NATE: Why not? It's the truth.
RORY: You are Tyler's dad. Not him.
LORELAI: You were barely eighteen!
LIAM: I was in college!
LORELAI: Exactly! You were in college! You know what dumb eighteen-year-old kids are supposed to do in college? Dumb eighteen-year-old college kid things, that's what! Not dumb adult things. Dumb kid things!
LIAM: I dunno, Mom. I dunno if marrying the girl I love would classify as a dumb thing, period.
LORELAI: A dumb thing, yes. But a dumb adult thing. Adult. Something which you were not. Something which you are still not.
LIAM: So, what? I love a girl and I never marry her?
LORELAI: No, you don't not marry her. You wait to marry her. You wait –
LIAM: How long do I wait? Because I'd like to actually be married before I accidentally knock her up –
LORELAI: HEY!
LIAM: I'm a Gilmore, aren't I? It's practically our rite of passage.
LORELAI: Too far, kid.
LORELAI: And you became everything that I ran away from anyway!
RORY: I'd hardly call having two incredible children, and a loving husband, and a successful career ruining my life, Mom.
RORY: I don't want to quit the DAR.
EMILY: Well, too late.
RORY: I was accepted and certified. Twice, now. The first time by you, the second time by Anne. You can't just kick me out.
EMILY: I can, too.
RORY: Grandma, you're not even actively involved with the DAR anymore.
EMILY: So?
RORY: You don't even like the DAR anymore.
EMILY: That is my organisation.
RORY: And even if you were, even if you did, I've been with the New York chapter for years. Your organisation, as you so benevolently put it, is the Hartford chapter.
EMILY: I still cannot believe you left us for those priggish twigs!
RORY: I'm sorry, but I'm not quitting.
EMILY: You are not sorry, and you are quitting!
RORY: [seething]
ISLA: [smiling]
LORELAI: We were sixteen! We didn't want to get married!
EMILY: A child needs a mother and a father!
LORELAI: And I am married now. To Luke!
EMILY: Oh, yes. After spending a decade as glorified roommates!
LORELAI: OH – MY –
EMILY: And having another child out of wedlock!
LORELAI: – GOD.
LUKE: Uh …
EMILY: Richard has probably been rolling in his grave since Lorelai outbid Katy Perry!
LUKE: Ah …
EMILY: All he wanted was for you to franchise your diner!
LUKE: Er …
EMILY: And he left you the money to do it!
LUKE: Well –
EMILY: Was that really too much to ask?
LUKE: I –
EMILY: Was it really that terrible of a last request?
LUKE: But –
EMILY: Well, apparently, it was!
LUKE: Sorry.
EMILY: [her turn to be lost for words]
EVERYONE ELSE: [stunned]
ISLA: Huh. So that's how you win.
(MOSTLY) EVERYONE: [exhausted]
ISLA: [still smiling]
LUKE: [still not used to this shit]