You know, there were a lot of creature comforts in Night City I miss right now. I had my own bathroom, my cars, but I mostly miss the food. I don't give a shit what Takemura said, it was fucking delicious. Sushi, pizza, burritos, I'm getting more and more hungry just thinking about it. Damn shame everything on the ship is blander than cardboard, or as I would prefer to say it, WHERE IN THE NAME JACKIE WELLES IS ANYTHING THAT TASTES REMOTELY FUCKING GOOD?!

The thing in my hand looks like a protein bar, but I swear on my father's ashes it's nothing more than something mushy forced into the shape of a rectangle. There were only a few things we had that were good about Night City, but one of them was the food. We had to create our own forms of freedom, and that came in food. We could manipulate food into being what we wanted it to be, and it was a luxury I now miss. Granted, most days I had to stick with kibble, but my point stands.

I know it's not the best thing to be pissed at, but I'm honestly just sick of this food. Everything I've had here has either poisoned me, been rotten, or bland as shit. The hangover's finally over but now I'm sad about food. I'd say life couldn't get any worse but that is a good way to make it that way. The universe is just cruel like that.

It was two days from giving the chips to the suited bastard. I honestly don't care much about whether he figures out how to talk to me or not. This ship's not anything good, and I wouldn't be surprised if staying with it shall be the death of me, and I know just how painful death can be.

Something about the ship keeps me here though. There's something special about being with the crew and the quiet dreary atmosphere, reminds me of the old apartment. There's this certain charm to it that keeps me here, despite the fact the smartest thing to do would be abandoning the ship. All you need is for there to be the occasional gunfire with a drug addict dying on the floor and you got my place in Watson.

A knock on my door pierces the quiet room, and I'm more than willing to admit that the sudden banging scared the shit out of me. After spending a few seconds regaining my composure, I stand up and begin to walk over as whoever it was that made me get up. Opening the door, I can see the suited person along with the dino that went out with me to Omega.

I allow them in, and while I would like to pretend I don't know why I do. They've figured out a translator, and are about to tell me to fuck off. I suppose I deserve it since I killed the woman who for Arlia or whoever the fuck that blue bitch was. Most I can do is smoke a cig and hope for the best. The suited fellow is tinkering with their wrist computer, and I can hear them take a deep breath before speaking.

"Can you understand me?" I don't think I'll ever get used to aliens speaking English, but at least this bastard looks close enough to some type of robot to calm my nerves. Unless they are a robot, in which case it makes sense why it only took them two days to figure it out. Maybe translator chips like what I got in me? What about the accent he has that makes him sound like someone from eastern Europe? Got a shitton of questions, but I'd rather start talking first.

"More than willing to bet you can understand me too. What about the other fellow here?" God, I hope I don't piss them off. Just gotta keep talking, hopefully, they're idiotic enough to forget about throwing me out. Might have to kill them. At the very least, should try and make it painless for them, a simple neck snap should work wonders. Just play cool.

The nod is the only answer I need, but something's off. This feels like a Mexican standoff, but with words instead of guns. The tension's thick enough as it is, and I feel saying anything else might be the last mistake I make. Although, did that nod mean yes, no, maybe? Bloody aliens, confusing as all fuck. Just gotta wing it, I guess.

"Right, say what you have to say."

"Oh, um, I was hoping to talk with you about yourself. I mean, we've been on the same ship for a few days but don't know anything about you."

"Do you want to know me, or my species?"

"Both. It would be good having knowledge about your species and you as a person."

"Right, fine. My name is Vincent, and I'm a human. Warmblooded, from a shithole called Earth, and cybernetics are pretty common." I show my gorilla arms to prove my point. "It's run by corporations, poverty runs rampant, dying world, blah blah blah. The point is, I live a better life here than there."

"That doesn't really tell much about you though. What marks you unique?"

"Not much, to tell the truth. I'm just a merc who's trying to find some peace in life. I've done some shit I'm not proud of, guess I saw this as a way out of it. Guess spending time not killing folks made me realize how much I hate it."

"What exactly did you do?"

"Kid, I just stated that it's shit I'm not proud of, the kind of thing that makes it impossible to sleep at night. All you need to know is I did some bad shit, and I'm trying to build a future for myself, away from others."

"If you could change anything, would you?"

That made me stop for a moment. I've been a thug for others since I had stubble. I wonder how many people I've killed. It'd definitely be in the hundreds, and indirectly in the thousands with the sabotage with Arasaka. My hands are stained in the blood of others, but I never truly asked why I did it. I mean, eddies are amazing and better them than me, but why choose this life in the first place?

How many folks have I killed that were doing whatever was necessary to survive? How many corpo stooges tasted lead while making sure their kids don't end up on the streets? There are and always will be scumbags, but gangs like the Valentinos and 6th Street at least helped out folk somewhat, and the Moxes were less so a gang and more a militia. Didn't stop me when they got in my way though.

My brain trails back to my family. I fucked them over, badly. I abandoned my father when he needed me most, with me taking his magnum opus to Arasaka just for a better-paying job. I left my sisters with nothing because I only thought about me, myself, and I. The Kers family name only exists in me now, someone who should never even deserve to have it as their surname.

Still, my moving to Night City made me meet Jackie, the better man. He made slogging through Arasaka worth it whenever we met up to buy drinks together or spent some time in my place showing the latest tech. He made me a person instead of a soulless husk, and I owe the Welles family everything. I'd wish I was the one killed and not him, but then he'd deal with Johnny, and that would most certainly not end well.

I've also met with people who I can consider my friends. Takemura, the hard-working bodyguard who wished for justice. Joshua, the man who gave me hope of forgiveness and made me keep a shard with the bible in it. Judy, a BD editor fighting against the unfair treatment of others. Kerry, a sign from both the past and present to keep moving. Panam, a woman to who I could never confess my love. River, the best cop in Night City. Not to mention the Peralezs, Vik, Misty, and others.

I look to Johnny, who is looming over the masked alien, and I know what to say. Johnny's with me through a lot, enough to where we're inseparable. Both literally and figuratively. I doubt he joined me willingly but is making the best of it like me. The two of us are monsters, there's no doubting that, but even monsters can control themselves.

"If I had a second chance, I'd do it all over again. I might not be proud of my past, but it's made me who I am today. Besides, trying to change the past will only ruin the future, and that's all I have to look forward to. A future."

If I will ever live long enough to enjoy it.