Hi! Sorry, I disappeared for almost 3 weeks instead! I was kidnapped by another fandom (it's Genshin Impact. I have several stories about it, but I only have them on my AO3: Makimono). Feel free to follow my Twitter for the updates of my stories as well: /itsmakimono

I hope the wait is worth it!

Chapter Nine

The party was over in less than two hours. After half of the attendees left the cafeteria, the students collected the dirty dishes. They washed them in the kitchen and let the rest of the adults sit around one of the clean tables with beers that Kiyotaka bought some time ago. Shouko was on her sixth can, and Atsuya couldn't stop commending her talent to still think and speak eloquently. Kento stopped after his third, only because he had to drive home. The others had one or two, while Satoru was the only person who couldn't stand the bitterness.

When Keiko went back with Kento, she was afraid if people could tell that she was bothered by Kento's words about Satoru. The worry was futile because everyone kept filling her in with stories about the stupid things these sorcerers had done and made her laugh so hard until she shed some tears. She was grateful to hear about a window who got startled by a grade four curse in an alley and beat it up with a guitar that was picked from a nearby waste container. Kiyotaka was the witness, and he swore he would never forget the scene.

"Keiko, come to the restroom with me," Shouko told the woman beside her after Kiyotaka was done talking. She rose from the chair and wore the lab coat that had remained untouched since she came here.

Keiko didn't feel like going, but she had no reason to refuse Shouko when they often went to the restroom together in the past. Side by side, they walked to the white building next to the cafeteria. Of course, Keiko hadn't been there in ages, so she was amazed to see that the renovated interior had become similar to what people would find in big malls. Nobody would expect it since the outside looked like a typical high school restroom with dirty squatting toilets and not a single air freshener.

While she waited for Shouko, who got into one of the cubicles, she inspected a pot of white flowers on the corner of the brown marble countertops. They couldn't be anything other than lilies, and she was sure about it because she was the one tending the garden she had built in her Okawa house. After she was done touching the petals, she went to stare at herself in the mirror. She had chosen the right lipstick brand because the color stayed throughout the nonstop eating and drinking, but her face was paler than before.

"It has been a long day for you. Are you sure you'll be okay for the mission tomorrow?" Shouko asked as she left the cubicle and cleansed her hands in the automatic sink next to Keiko.

"I just want to get it over with as soon as possible," Keiko stated, watching Shouko pull tissues from the box on the wall beside her, dried her hands, and threw away the crumpled papers into the garbage bin near the door.

"I'm asking you to accompany me because I need to give you this." Shouko slipped a hand inside her coat pocket and took out a clear glass bottle filled with tiny white tablets. There was no label or anything on it, but Shouko wouldn't try to drug her. "They're the best sleep aid supplements in the market. You know I always work overtime, so I can't sleep with you anymore. Drink one pill thirty minutes before you go to bed. If you still can't sleep, drink another one. Don't do more, all right?" Shouko continued.

"Noted. You're very thoughtful. Thank you." Grinning, Keiko accepted the bottle and studied the content.

The first few nights after her father's passing, she slept in the living room with some of her neighbors. The remaining nights before she moved to Tokyo, she shared a mattress with Shouko. Weeks after losing her mother and siblings, her father held her hand and stayed on her bedroom floor. Months after her last accident, she could barely close her eyes even when surrounded by many people. This had been a habit that her closest friends were aware of; after she was heavily traumatized, it would be impossible for her to rest. She had always had it worse than most survivors.

"It might be different this time. I actually had a two-hour nap after meeting with the higher-ups." She clenched the bottle, glancing up at Shouko. Satoru-senpai was with me. He might be able to cure me better than these supplements, were the things that she didn't want to utter aloud because of how sappy they sounded. Even she would shiver and get embarrassed if she heard somebody else speak it.

"Because you weren't alone," Shouko guessed, causing Keiko to blush. "Right? Now that you're here and he's free, Satoru won't have the capability to be apart from you for a minute, let alone two hours. I bet he was furious when he got called for that mission."

"That's an exaggeration. It's been more than a minute since we got here," Keiko attempted to be funny, even though she was unsure if it would work out. Based on Shouko's crooked smirk, Keiko knew that she was just making fun of herself by pretending like she didn't understand what the older woman meant.

"Is there anything else that you want to share with me?" Shouko asked, which could translate to "is there any other nonsense that needs to come out of your mouth?".

Keiko would love to talk about how she would sleep alone tonight so Satoru would need to be away from her for at least eight hours, but once again, she decided not to embarrass herself any further. "Nothing," she said.

"What's important is you seem happy. You look tired, but you've been laughing so freely. How are you feeling?" Shouko proceeded, placing one hand on the countertops to support her weight.

Keiko couldn't help remembering some of the anecdotes she had heard and chuckled. "You're right. I'm having fun. It's been a lovely night."

"Great." Shouko nodded her head in agreement before pulling herself up and turning around. "Let's go back."

Keiko wasn't lying about feeling like this one of the best nights she had experienced in a while, but when she got back to the cafeteria and saw his friends standing up with keys in their hands, she felt unprepared with the impending goodbyes. The students were wiping the tables. Some lights on the corners had been switched off, making the cafeteria appear more vacant than when she just arrived. She knew people eventually had to go home, but she didn't think it would sadden her this much.

Satoru carried her phone that she had left on the table before she went away with Shouko. As soon as she had it, she brightened the screen just to check the time. It was almost nine-thirty. Since tomorrow was Sunday, maybe she could ask them to stay for a few more minutes. Then, she realized that she couldn't treat them like Satoru. Unlike Satoru, who had specifically decided to spend time with her, the others must have plans with their own family and friends. They were already kind enough to spend their weekend here instead of with some other people.

"Shiraishi, I'll leave now." Kento waved her hand in front of Keiko's face since she had been gazing off into space. "Are you good?"

"Oh. Yes. Please be careful on your way home," Keiko responded with a smile. She told similar things to Kiyotaka and Atsuya. Shouko got a "good luck on your overtime" because she would probably stay at the health center until dawn—it was what she used to do many years ago. Still, they wouldn't see each other at least until the following day. All at once, the only adults left inside were Keiko and Satoru.

"Sensei, you can just leave. We'll take care of everything from here," Nobara said, bringing all the chairs back to their previous places.

"Yes, Sensei. You need to get ready for your accession tomorrow. Please rest well!" Yuuji added.

Keiko glanced at Satoru, who seemed to agree with them leaving early, before smiling at each student. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. I'll see you again soon."

Everyone loudly wished her the best like they were more thrilled with her succeeding the mission than herself. The same thing could be said about her friends, so even if she would rather not fight against any dangerous curses, she might need to bring back a story worth retelling the next time they held a party. There wasn't anyone walking around the school ground like a few hours ago, so she stopped right outside the cafeteria, just under a lamppost.

"Thank you, Senpai. I had so much fun tonight. I'll never forget it," she began, staring into Satoru's eyes, knowing that they were looking back at her even when they were shielded in the dark. "I'll text you once I receive the file about the mission tomorrow. Please have a good rest."

"Keiko," he sweetly called her name. "Can you sleep alone? Do you want me to stay?"

"We can't," she said, making it clear that it wasn't because she didn't want to. "It won't be nice if people, especially the kids, find out that you've been spending time with me at the female staff's dormitory. Shouko-senpai gave me sleep aid supplements. I'll drink them if I feel restless. I need to be more independent too."

"Heh…" He smiled smugly. "Are those supplements better than having me by your side?"

The wistfulness struck her again. Right when she knew she was about to show it on her face, she jumped into him, attempting to hide her emotions by pressing her head against his chest. "Just walk me to the dormitory. Is that okay with you?"

"Huh? I was already planning to. You didn't need to ask me that," he said.

"Mm-hmm. Okay." She smiled and proceeded to march ahead. Her speed decreased when she realized that he was a few steps behind her, but it was unnecessary because his long legs could effortlessly close their distance in a blink of an eye. The silence of the road would usually make her mind fly everywhere and bring back foolish, negative thoughts. It didn't happen now because Satoru told her more idiotic stories about their friends. She never knew how hard it would be to stifle her laughter so she didn't need to scare anyone.

Satoru gave her another hug after they arrived at the dormitory's entryway, careful not to be seen by the staff who lived here and hadn't even met her. His hands were always on her upper back, probably because he was very tall. Just as he brought them down, she quickly stood on her tiptoes and moved her hands from around his waist to around his neck. She clung to him as she closed her eyes, embracing him like those days when he had to leave Okawa.

"I'll miss you so much!" she had always desperately shouted as if her life would end the moment he got into his rented car and drove away from her street. She thought she wouldn't behave that way once she was in Tokyo, but tonight felt worse. She didn't want to be separated from him. Was it because of what Kento had said? Was it because everything became lonesome after the party? Was she actually terrified of the upcoming days?

"I understand if it'll look bad if people find out about us spending the night together, but have you forgotten that I can get into any places without using a door? I can hide my cursed energy, so nobody will know that I'm there. I can even cover up our noises," he explained, evidently noticing how she was struggling with the decision of being alone.

"No. It's okay. Don't worry. I need to be independent," she insisted. After a while, she finally let him go without feeling like weeping the second their bodies stopped touching. "It's fine. I'll be fine," she told herself again.

"All right. I'll be awake for a few hours. Call me if something happens." He lightly tapped the tip of her nose. A proud smile crossed his face before he left the dormitory, but she couldn't tell if it was genuine or he just wanted to hide his despair. Just like Shouko had stated, Satoru must be hurting himself every time he had to move a step further away from his greatest source of happiness.

Once Keiko got into her room, she immediately placed her phone and sleep aid supplements on the nightstand, took off her clothes, and dashed into the bathroom. Colder seasons were approaching. It would have been nice if the dormitory had a tub where she could soak in hot water, but a private shower was more than enough for someone who didn't spend a single penny for staying here. With her salary as a grade one sorceress, she would only need a few months to save up and get a decent apartment in a convenient neighborhood in Tokyo. It didn't need to be elite as long as it was safe.

If she had owned the skill to create an invisible barrier to hide noises like Satoru, she would have cast it so she could play some music to distract her mind. The solitude started to make her think about her losses, weaknesses, and everything else that had ruined her life so far. She knew it wasn't right to do, but she couldn't help herself. This tendency—or personality, or disease—had been with her since she was little. It was also the number one reason she hated being alone when she was feeling down.

The shower was the quickest she had had in a long time. She changed into her sleepwear and wrapped her wet hair in a towel. She then grabbed the supplements and drank two of them using the remaining water she had from the train to Yokohama this morning. There should be a water cooler in the common room, but she didn't feel like meeting anyone there and go through another long conversation about who she was or what she was doing here. She still had another sealed water bottle that would last her until morning.

A hairdryer was another thing that she should have packed in her travel bag, but apparently, she cared more about her lipsticks and shoes. After picking up her phone, she dropped herself onto the bed. The towel was uncomfortable, but she would be fine being in this position for a few minutes. She had expected to receive some thank you messages from those she had invited to the small party, and she was right about it. Even Atsuya and some auxiliary managers had her ID, including the girl who seemed to have a crush on Satoru. She wasn't sure how to feel about the latter.

Shiraishi, thank you for the treat. Do tell me if you want to borrow some books. I should make time for you. Kento's text was different and more important than the rest—the girl who seemed to have a crush on Satoru sent her a "nice to know you" like she would happily want to befriend her after their awkward meeting. She chose to ignore everything else and only reply to Kento. Thank you for coming, Senpai. Maybe we can go out for a drink with Shouko-senpai and Kiyotaka, she wrote back. All right, he answered fast, and she snickered.

The night she spent with everyone was wonderful. She began to remember how joyful her day could be when she was surrounded by his friends, but she got terrified if it wouldn't happen again. Everyone would eventually pass and be forgotten—she knew this well—but sorcerers had higher chances of dying young. Her body shivered as she sat down and stared at the phone screen. What if she wanted to run away? Among everyone, Kento would be the one who would support and understand her if she fleed from this school tonight.

Senpai, do you think I've made the right decision to come back here? she typed again. Being a sorceress is what you do best. Just like what I've told you before, I had that in mind about myself, he replied. I heard that you've been back for two years. Have you regretted anything? If you were given a chance to live a normal life, you would take it, wouldn't you? Have you lost someone close again after Haibara-senpai? her hands were shaky when she wrote the name. Before she got his answer, her breathing started to become more rapid as she lost the strength to hold her phone.

Haibara Yuu. An upperclassman who was a year older than her. He was Kento's only classmate and best friend at that time. Akin to Satoru, he was a talkative kid who called her by her first name since their early meeting. He enjoyed talking about all the countries he would visit after he graduated from their school. His optimism was contagious—she adored it the most about him. She hadn't thought of him in forever, so why did she allow it to happen now? Why didn't her brain let her be at peace for once?

One of Yuu's hobbies was finding random fun facts about the world, especially animals. Do you know that New Zealand has more sheep than humans? As of now, it's eight sheep per person! Do you know that a polar bear liver contains one hundred and fifty years' worth of vitamin A for an average human adult? Eating one can kill you from hypervitaminosis A since vitamin A is fat-soluble instead of water-soluble. That means it can't be easily flushed out of your system. Do you know that elephants are the only mammals that can't jump?

His joyfulness made her care and consider him the fun older brother, then he suddenly got killed during a mission with Kento. The boys were supposed to exorcise a grade two curse, but the manager miscalculated the situation, and it turned out to be a grade one case. It took everything they had to escape the abandoned prison when Yuu got caught and torn apart. Kento wasn't severely wounded, but the mental scar he had for rescuing his friend's lifeless body from being entirely devoured by the evil would be burned in the back of his mind until the day he died.

"Not a step closer, Keiko."

Keiko had run to the morgue the minute the news reached everyone in the school. She remembered being a few hours late because she just returned from her own grade two mission, but she didn't expect to find Kento blocking her way. The lanky guy guarded the morgue's entrance while pressing a bandage on his forehead, covering what turned out to be a slash that disappeared in less than two weeks. He never looked that wretched before, but she was more upset for not being allowed to see Yuu's corpse.

"Why? Aren't Getou-senpai and Shouko-senpai inside? Why can they come in, but not me?" she asked.

"Keiko, please. This is an order from Yaga-sensei."

"I don't care! I've seen worse! Who do you think I am? Senpai, let me—"

"No!" Kento's voice cracked. Even without visible tears coming out of his eyes, his frown was enough to convey the grief he felt. "You haven't seen worse! I swear you would only get nightmares if you saw him!"

He had never shouted at her, but his pained expression was what caused her to give up. She let out a wail, not even trying to hide it from the person who had never seen her do it before. It was only four months after losing three of her family members, so the incident shocked her until she couldn't focus on doing anything else for the next few days. She cried when she saw Yuu's family at the wake and funeral. She cried even harder when she accidentally saw Kento sobbing alone near the parking lot. Even until now, nobody knew that she was there.

As if not a single soul could rest afterward, another mad thing happened a few weeks later. Suguru, the person that she came to love almost as much as she did Satoru, massacred an entire village and went fugitive. Instead of dying, another brother lost his sanity and must be executed on sight. The higher-ups called her once and asked her to hunt him down and capture the special grade curses he might have possessed. If Satoru and Masamichi weren't there to save her from the nauseating request, she would have probably sacrificed herself instead.

"Keiko!" It surprised her when Satoru appeared in her room. He jumped into her bed and sat behind her, nestling her in his arms. "I'm here. Don't worry. Breathe carefully," he said as he gently stroked both of her shoulders.

"Senpai…" she managed to speak, albeit weakly. Every second, it felt like she was about to choke on her own saliva because she couldn't bring herself to cry or express her thoughts in other ways, but this wasn't new to her. She knew it wouldn't last longer than a couple of minutes, so she wasn't too afraid of passing out like the first time it hit her.

Satoru removed the towel from her head, most likely because it was a barrier between them, and the tightness might not be pleasant for her. When she placed her head on his shoulder blade, she could smell his vanilla scent. He had changed into a dark blue shirt, and his hair was damp like her. He didn't have sunglasses with him, so he must have left in a hurry. What was more noticeable than anything was how quiet he had become. The usual him would chat a lot more, but he must have known what not to do because this wasn't his first time handling her precarious side.

"There you go," he praised her once her breathing started to return normal. His right hand moved to the top of her head, stroking her lovingly. "You're doing well. As expected from you. Do you need something?"

She pointed at the water bottle she put on the nightstand. "Drink."

"Of course." He left her side for only a second to grab the bottle, opened the lid, and handed it to her.

"Thank you," she said after gulping the water down to its last drop.

"Do you want me to refill it for you? Can you wait here?" he asked.

She nodded, thrusting the bottle toward him. "Yes. Thank you."

It surprised her when he planted a kiss on her left temple, deep enough until she could feel the warmth of his lips on her eyelid. When was the last time he did anything like that to her? Their first kiss—if it could be called that way—was during her twenty-second birthday. As always, he had celebrated it with her. When her father went to the kitchen to grab a bowl of oranges, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. She slapped him quite hard afterward and moved to sit in the opposite direction of him, making him stick his tongue out playfully.

The second time was two Christmas ago when they slept under the kotatsu in her living room. Somehow, they woke up at the same time, at around two o'clock. He smiled and kissed her forehead before going back to sleep. She confronted him during breakfast, and his only explanation was that he couldn't help himself because she looked too enticing and irresistible. It rendered her speechless until she forgot to scold him. Tonight was the third, and unlike before, she thought a few more kisses wouldn't be so bad.

"You shouldn't use the same plastic water bottle. Did you bring any reusable bottles with you?" he asked as soon as he came back, softly closing the door behind him.

"No," she answered. "Senpai, did you pass by any—"

"There was no one outside, and I've hidden my cursed energy. Don't worry." He put the bottle on the nightstand. "Are you good now?"

"Yes. I guess." She held her neck, feeling a little sweat there. If it was any worse, she would have needed to shower again. "I'm sorry. Really. This hasn't happened in a long time."

"Come on. What's with the apology? You know you haven't made any mistake," he said, slumping beside her. "Nanami called me. He said that something's wrong with you because you stopped answering his message. What happened?"

"Oh…" She reached for her phone and read the last message that Kento had sent her eight minutes ago. Are you alone? No wonder he got worried and contacted Satoru, the only person who could check on her in a matter of seconds. Yes. Satoru-senpai is here. Thank you, she notified Kento. It was the only proper thing to do.

"Do you want to tell me?" Satoru asked again.

"Yes. Just read it yourself." Keiko gave him her phone, then watched him read the short exchange. He didn't even need half a minute to finish.

"Have you drunk the supplements Shouko gave you?" Instead of bringing up the fact that she had mentioned Yuu's name out of nowhere, he casually picked another question as he returned her phone. Up to this stage of their relationship, there must not be a single thing that weirded him out anymore.

She took a deep breath, putting her phone down. "Yes. I have, but I don't feel any different."

"It'll kick in soon. Let's just try to sleep." He grabbed her phone and placed it on the nightstand, directly next to the water bottle. As if he wouldn't let her exhaust herself, he prepared the bed for them by pulling the pillow that he had stolen from another room closer to the edge of the bed and pushing her own to the wall. He then stood up to turn off the lights.

She spread the blanket that could perfectly cover them and tucked herself under it, eyeing the man who did the same thing as her. They locked eyes for a while before his hand went to the side of her face, brushing her hair behind her ear. This gesture was nothing for someone who always tried his hardest to protect her even when there were great miles between them. How could she not love him the most? She didn't want him to vanish like Yuu, Suguru, or her family. At least not when she was aware of it.

"If it happens again, will you talk to Shouko and seek help?" he asked in a whisper. They both knew what the suggestion meant. A long time ago, when her mind was far from being intact, Shouko had introduced her to some people who treated her well. They said her problem could never be entirely cured, but she wasn't a strange or meek individual. Sorcerers were prone to go through what she had. Her case was worse since she kept losing important things in life.

"Yes, but I'll have to fix myself as well," she assured. "I don't know why I'm like this, but I promise—"

"You'll get better, so you don't need to promise me that," he cut her off, lowering his hand to his waist. "What you should promise me is that you'll never hate or desert me, regardless of what you'll find in the future."

"What am I going to find in the future?" she asked.

"More dead comrades, and you should know this."

She flinched. Finally, he mentioned Yuu in the most abrupt way. "Ah…" She forced out a smile. "All right, but why would I hate you for that?"

"Because I'm the reason you're here." He pursed his lips and furrowed his brows like he would cry for her. "Earlier, I said that I wouldn't like it if you did all of these for me. You told me that you wanted it yourself, but you weren't telling the whole truth. If this keeps going, who knows when you'll grow to detest me."

She shook her head several times—begging him to stop blabbering—before clawing at his chest. "That's impossible. Among many things that I can think of, there's only one possible way for me to hate you."

"And that is?"

If you ever betray me. If you ever have another woman besides me. The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she got too shy to confess them. What if, just like what happened when they met near the school's gate, he decided to shut her down and ask her to wait until her accession was done? Maybe it could take longer since he had to get back to work the day after, and she would probably get a dozen missions right away. How did the conversation turn out to be like this? She must be looking like a clown now.

"What is it?" he reminded her when she became reticent.

"Just… don't treat someone else this kindly," she said. It wasn't an awful answer, so she was pretty proud of herself.

"What?" He widened his eyes, looking at her in disbelief before laughing breathily. "Do you think I'm doing this to somebody else? To who?"

She shrugged. "How am I supposed to know?"

"You've known me for more than ten years. Why do you doubt me?"

"I don't! I was just… considering a scenario that could make me hate you."

"Haha, I know. I'm just kidding." He patted her hip a few times. "Are you sleepy yet?"

"A little. Sleep aid usually works on me, so let me just close my eyes."

"Close your eyes then," he said before smiling cheekily, somehow turning himself to look a bit more handsome than usual. "Will you dream of me?"

"Good night." Skipping the answer, she rolled around to face the wall.

"What? Why? You don't want to dream about me?" Barely two seconds later, he brought himself closer to her until she could feel his lean torso against her back and his head against her nape. He circled his arm around her waist again, but tighter than usual.

"What are you talking about? It isn't like I can control my dream." She slapped his hand that began to caress her clothed stomach, like trying to find a treasure she had smuggled under her shirt. Her protest was useless because he kept doing it for a while.

"Hmm… I'll dream of you. Good night," he muttered after he was satisfied with touching her. Stupidly enough, he was the first one who fell asleep because she couldn't stop herself from blushing.

That marked the end of MC's first day in Tokyo. Yes, did you realize that chapter 2-9 happened within a day? Thank you very much for reading 40k words of sad flashbacks lmao.