A/N: Due to a very special request, I've decided to post this chapter a little earlier. As a forewarning, I'm not confident I'll be as quick with the next chapter, I am slammed with school assignments this coming month. I hope to stick it out and update as soon as possible. A big thank you to NerdyJibbsOreo for giving me some pointers on the Thanksgiving scene. I tried my best.
Warning: I've rearranged the episode order of Season 6, hopefully it's not too confusing. This picks up just after "South by Southwest". I am not a doctor, and I've tried to research everything to the best of my abilities.
The bustle of Dulles Airport was welcoming as Tony DiNozzo stepped foot back in Washington DC. He flinched at the sharp pain in his butt, walking was not an easy feat. When Gibbs had announced they'd be flying out to Arizona, the last thing he expected was to return with the inability to walk. The boss had called it crotch mumps, a strange way of saying what he was experiencing was saddle sores.
The next time they had a case involving horses; he was forcing the probie to go play cowboy with Gibbs. Tony adjusted his carry-on bag. After the pain in the ass adventurous trip in the arid Arizona heat filled with helicopter explosions; he was about ready to collapse in bed once he'd spoken to the lawyers handling his uncle's estate.
Gibbs was quietly brooding next to him as they navigated the busy airport. They were supposed to fly out first thing Sunday afternoon, but the flight had been delayed until Monday morning. From the little that he could gather, the boss' foul mood stemmed from the late night conversation he had with Jenny.
It hadn't been a fight, he knew how heated that could get. Instead, he'd noticed the concern on Gibbs' face after he'd spoken to her. They had left Thursday night, and the satellite phone was reserved for agency calls only. Ever since they had spoken, he seemed anxious about something.
Jethro adjusted his watch, silently cursing the fact that he was late to meeting Jenny at the hospital for her chemo session. He could sense DiNozzo had caught on that something was bothering him, but for now the agent knew better than to ask prying questions.
After their fun filled weekend with Amira, Jenny had taken a turn for the worst. He'd taken her and Duke back to her house since the stairs at his had become a challenge. There had been a few arguments between them. He wanted her to see the doctor, but she had stubbornly refused.
They both knew something was wrong, but she harboured a fear of getting more bad news.
The long term parking terminal was thankfully quiet as they made their way to the federal plated Dodge Charger. Tony finally stopped complaining about the pain in his ass as they settled in the leather seats, ready to navigate the DC traffic back to the Navy Yard.
Tony pushed his sunglasses a little higher on the bridge of his nose. The silence was suffocating. Years of working with Gibbs had made him adept at reading the silence. Right now, he could tell something was eating away at his boss, something personal. He opened his mouth to strike up a conversation, but thought better of it. Before Sunday night, Gibbs had at least attempted to talk to him. Now silent treatment was all he got.
Being the observant very Special Agent that he was, he knew the worry etched on his boss' face had to do with Jenny. None of them really knew what her health was like these days, Ducky knew better than to snoop. Gibbs and Jenny were notoriously private, no one on the team really had the guts to ask how things were going, not even Abby.
The traffic seemed to be thinning as they crept through traffic light after traffic light.
The sudden ringing of someone's phone had Tony nearly jumping in his seat. Shooting the boss a sheepish glance, he realised it was coming from his pocket. Wrestling the phone free, he answered without looking at the caller ID.
"Very Special Agent DiNozzo."
Jethro spared his Senior Field Agent a quick glance. The kid was obviously fighting down the excitement of what the call from London might have in-store for him.
"Okay, Wednesday 9AM my time. Bye." Tony shook his head, it seemed like the lawyer handling his uncle's estate was dragging his feet. The phone suddenly started ringing again, recognising the number, he answered, "DiNozzo."
"Yeah, he's here." Tony gave Gibbs a puzzled look. "Boss, is your phone off?"
Unclipping his phone, he flipped it open, only to be greeted by a black screen. "Damn thing's dead. What is it?"
Tony passed his phone to his boss, "Melvin, he says it's an emergency."
Jethro rolled his eyes, Leon Vance's new security detail was a little too paranoid for his taste. Melvin had expressed his distaste over their knee-jerk reactions to everything. After Jenny Shepard, every agent assigned to protection detail made sure they had eyes and ears on Vance at all times.
"If they lost him, Melvin, I really don't care." Jethro growled. He still couldn't see eye to eye with Leon Vance.
"Gibbs, it's Jenny. They couldn't get a hold of you. She's being admitted as we speak. They won't tell me anything. I'm tied up with the Director at a conference and can't get to the hospital."
Jethro tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles aching. "Thanks, Melvin."
Tony caught his phone just in time as Gibbs suddenly slammed on the brakes. The contents of his stomach almost reappearing as the car spun around in a sudden U-turn. The tires squealed as Gibbs gunned the large V8 down the road. The rarely used sirens screamed in his ears.
Clinging to his seatbelt for dear life, Tony swallowed as he looked at Gibbs. The older agent was pale, blue eyes hard as he focused all his attention on the road. He didn't feel brave enough to ask him what was wrong, but he somehow knew it had to do with Jenny.
George Washington Hospital came into view five minutes later, confirming his suspicions.
Jethro swallowed down his fear, hoping Tony couldn't see the way his hands were shaking.
The Charger ground to a halt. Unclipping his seatbelt, Jethro spared a second to inform a startled DiNozzo of what was going on. "Jenny's being admitted. Take the car back to the Navy Yard, then go home and get some rest."
He was gone before Tony managed to loosen his seatbelt.
The hospital reception was quiet, the staff silently going about their daily routine of admitting and discharging patients. He flashed his badge at the security guard, assuring him that he was allowed to carry.
Jethro swallowed heavily, irritated with how utterly lost he felt. Fear gnawed at his gut, twisting the already tightly wound coil in his stomach. Depending on years of military training, he silenced the voice at the back of his mind and assessed his situation.
The woman behind the reception desk looked up at him, unperturbed by the scowl directed at her. Glasses perched on the tip of her nose, she peered up at him over the frames. Two decades working at George Washington, she could recognise the terrified look on his face anywhere.
"Can I help you?"
The glare softened fractionally, blue eyes still darting around in sheer panic. "Jenny Shepard, she's been admitted. I need to know which ward."
She caught a glimpse of the badge and service weapon on full display, holstered at his hip. He was a man used to having people jump when he gave orders, but judging by the waver in his voice he was out of his depths.
"Just a second."
Jethro ran a hand through his hair, listening to the woman's fingers fly over the keyboard. Not knowing what was going on drove him crazy. Cursing the fact that his phone had died, he berated himself for flying out to Arizona. He should've stayed behind, Jenny had needed him and he hadn't been there for her.
"Was she admitted through the ER?"
Jethro blinked at the woman, "I don't know." The annoyance on her face only agitated him more, "She has chemotherapy every second Monday. No one told me what's going on." The growl seemed to frighten her just a little.
The brief nod was all he received as she reached for the desk phone.
He silently thanked God for Melvin and how close the young agent was to Jenny. All he could think off was the night he'd found her seated at the bottom of the steps, pale and too weak to climb the staircase.
"Am I right in assuming you're Mr. Gibbs?" the nod was all she needed, "Ms. Shepard has been admitted to the oncology ward. Her files haven't been updated yet, but nurse Vicky is waiting for you."
Offering a wave as thanks, he sprinted towards the elevator, catching it just in time before the doors slid shut. The elevator seemed to stop on every floor before it reached the oncology ward. He violently slammed his thumb against the button, willing the doors to open faster. Antiseptic was thick in the air, and it made his stomach churn.
He hated hospitals.
Trudging down the familiar passageway, he spotted the young nurse that had helped Jenny after her mastectomy. By the looks of it, she recognised him too as she met him halfway.
"What happened?"
Vicky motioned for him to follow her down yet another hallway, "She collapsed after her chemo session. Doctor Geiger admitted her immediately and ordered some blood work that should be back in the next fifteen minutes."
They stopped outside the hospital room, Vicky turned towards the older gentleman. The fear he was trying to hide was clearly written all over his face. "Has she complained about anything in the last few days?"
Jethro squeezed his eyes shut, grinding his teeth. "I've been away on a case, since Thursday. She's been having dizzy spells on occasion. Some things have become a challenge. She can't make it up the stairs sometimes. Most of the time I find her in bed asleep, for pretty much the whole day."
Vicky nodded, making notes.
"I've asked her to see the doctor…" he glanced around the empty hall, "She's stubborn."
Vicky smiled at him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "We know. Doctor Geiger will be here as soon as the results are back, we'll know more by then. You're welcome to sit with her. As you know we don't have a strict visitors policy up here."
Jethro thanked the young nurse. The metal handle was cool under his palm as he slowly eased the door open. He didn't exactly imagine his reunion with Jenny quite like this. The lights had been dimmed, the blinds partially closed.
The black beanie was a stark contrast against the white sheets. He swallowed against the tightness in his throat, not sure he'd ever seen her this pale. The circles under her eyes were dark, bordering on black. The nasal cannula seemed unnaturally large on her petite features.
The door closed silently behind him, blocking out the quiet noise from the hospital.
He was painfully aware of the way his nails bit into his palms. The vital signs monitor beeped with her heart rate, breaking the deafening silence. He felt rooted to the floor, his own pulse thundering in his throat. Forcing one foot in front of the other, he stood paralysed at her bedside.
Reaching for her hand, he clasped it in his, her skin icy cold against his. Biting the inside of his cheek, he silently drew the chair closer. The position was awkward, his knees protesting, but he wanted to be close to her. Pressing his lips to the back of her hand, he tried reassuring himself that she was okay.
Jenny squeezed his hand weakly, "Jethro?"
"I'm here." The chair flew backwards as he shot up. The confusion in her green eyes clearing as she blinked up at him. Running his thumb over her cheek, he smiled bravely, "How are you feeling?"
"Like I've been hit by a train." She winced, her head was killing her. Intertwining her fingers with his, she saw the way he chewed the inside of his cheek. The sudden urge to sooth his fears was overwhelming, "Can you help me sit up?"
He easily reached behind her, propping up the pillows so she could rest comfortably against them. He slipped his arms around her, crushing her against his chest. Closing his eyes, he breathed her in. The antiseptic still lingered, but her warmth and short breaths were all he needed right now.
Reluctantly letting her go, he brushed a thumb over her pale cheek, giving her a pained smile.
Jenny shifted her legs, making some room for him to sit. He didn't let go, her hands still clasped in his as he stared at their fingers.
"Jethro," she didn't fight the tears as they rolled down her cheeks, "I'm scared."
He leaned closer, drawing her into another hug. He felt her tears seep through his shirt. Cupping the back of her head, he tried calming her down. Fear festered inside him. "Everything's going to be okay." He couldn't even believe his own lie.
Jenny slowly pulled away from him, catching him trying to bury his fear behind a soft smile. Everything had been so chaotic from the little she could remember. From the vague recollection she had, she was aware she'd asked for him.
"What happened, Jenny?" he tried to hide the worry in his voice, knowing she'd only work herself up.
Blinking, she rubbed at her forehead, realising there was a bump forming under the beanie. Frowning, she shook her head in disbelief. "I don't know. All I remember is getting up after the nurse removed the IV, and then everything just went black. According to nurse Vicky I was out for quite a while, and I think I hit my head."
Taking off the beanie, she prodded at the sore spot on her skull, wincing at the sudden pain. Jethro grimaced with her.
A soft knock on the door had her pulling the beanie back in place. Jethro pulled the plastic chair closer, taking a seat just as the door swung open.
Doctor Geiger peaked around the door, intelligent brown eyes peering over the thin frame of his glasses. Offering his patient a warm smile, he dropped his gaze to the test result in his hands. "You gave us all quite a fright, Ms. Shepard."
Geiger made his way to the foot of the bed, filing the results in his patient's chart. Jenny shot Jethro an embarrassed look.
"I'm very concerned about what happened today," Geiger started, still paging through the chart.
Jethro instinctively reached for Jenny's hand. He pressed his lips together, hoping to hide his anxiety. Jenny seemed even more pale, her hand shaking imperceptibly in his grip. Placing his other hand over hers, he squeezed her fingers reassuringly.
"After reviewing your test results from two weeks ago and looking at today's, your hemoglobin level dropped from 10 to below 8. Anything below 8 can be fatal. This means you don't have enough red blood cells to carry oxygen to all your other cells. Now, cancer patients tend to have a lower hemoglobin level due to chemotherapy, but this sudden drop is what's worrying me."
"What could cause it to just drop?" Jethro found his voice, clearing his throat self-consciously; he flicked his gaze to Jenny.
Geiger pushed the frames of his glasses a little higher, "What we're dealing with here is anemia. A number of factors can play a role. Chemotherapy, a poor diet, low iron levels. Each person's body reacts differently. I suspect the second round of chemo was a shock to the system, especially after the surgery, despite the recovery period."
"What comes next?" Jenny schooled her features. She'd been in this very position before, listening as the doctor explained. At least then he was giving her some good news.
Geiger leaned his elbows on the overbed table, easily picking up on the nervousness between the couple.
"I want to get your levels as stable as possible. So, with your consent I would like to do a blood transfusion as soon as possible." There was another nervous glance.
"If you prefer not to, we can start you on Erythropoiesis-stimulating agents more commonly referred to as ESAs. This type of treatment usually takes some time before it starts working, depending on your body. The ESAs are administered via shots under the skin, these are usually injected on a weekly basis. I have to warn you there are some serious side effects and we'll have to monitor you very closely."
Jenny nodded, mulling everything over in her mind. Jethro was still gripping her hand; his hold tightening with every explanation the doctor gave.
"I can give you two some time to talk." Closing the chart, Geiger took off his glasses, slipping it in his breast pocket.
He'd witnessed his fare share of families having to make difficult, and often live changing decisions. Jenny Shepard had always been one of his most intriguing patients. He glanced at the man currently desperately holding on to her. He'd seen so many husbands and lovers in his very position. After forty years he still wasn't used to delivering the bad news.
"It's up to you, Jen." Jethro whispered. He couldn't make the decision for her.
"Wait!" Jenny called just before Geiger slipped out the door. "I don't want to take the shots."
Jethro couldn't help the smile he let slip.
"I'll do the blood transfusion. Is there anything else I should know?" The idea of constantly being pricked by needles was not appealing.
Geiger gave her a kind smile, "I want you to see the oncology dietitian. It's important you eat the right foods and that they stay down. I know you've been struggling with that. I'm going to lower your usual dose of chemo, at least until your levels are normal. I'll be changing your nausea medication again, hopefully this time we'll find something that works. We'll discuss everything more before I discharge you."
Jethro watched as the doctor disappeared. Taking his seat on the bed again, he frowned as Jenny collapsed against her pillows clearly exhausted. "Everything okay?" it was a stupid question.
Jenny lifted her head, reaching out and cupping his cheek. "I'm okay. Just worried about you."
"Me?" he looked at her indignantly, "I'm fine."
Raising a non-existent brow, she shook her head. "If you say so."
He wasn't going to tell her how he'd been thinking about the worst-case scenario. He'd fully prepared himself for the doctor delivering the worst news possible. He felt slightly rattled, but he wasn't going to admit as much to her right now, she had enough to worry about.
"I should've been here." His voice was rough, masking the guilt.
"It wouldn't have changed a thing." She tried being gentle, but it didn't stop the anger flaring in his eyes. The hurt in his blue irises took her by surprise. Lacing her fingers with his, she cupped his chin with her free hand.
"Jethro, this isn't just something we can fix. There's no bad guy to catch." She watched as he clenched his jaw, not willing to agree. "This could've easily happened at home, or anywhere. I'm not trying to blow you off. I know you care."
The wave of emotion overcoming her was unexpected. She gave him a watery smile. Jethro was never skittish, but she'd kept an eye on him while Geiger had told them what was going on. He had seemed lost, trying to grasp what the doctor was saying. There was still some fear somewhere at the back of her mind, but knowing they could fix this made it a little easier.
"We have to accept this is reality." Her voice was level, "Same way we had to accept the fact that there was a possibility we could be killed when we became agents."
Jethro sighed, pressing his forehead against hers. "My phone was off, Jen. Melvin called DiNozzo to tell me." He ground his teeth. "What if you'd tried to call me?" his voice was hoarse, almost physically pained.
The anguish in his eyes was unbearable. Wrapping her arms around him, she crushed him against her in a hug, "You're here now."
She couldn't remember much after blacking out. Everything had been a blur of events. It didn't really matter to her how they got a hold of him, it mattered that he was here holding her hand. They were equally scared, and it reminded her of the days that followed after the explosion and almost losing him.
"If it's any consolation," she sat back, stroking his cheek. "Cynthia told me you were in the hospital after the explosion. You can't beat yourself up over this. It's unnecessary."
"This is the third time, Jen."
The Czech Republic, the diner in LA and now this. Jethro broke their gaze. It felt like he was failing her every time. He placed a little more distance between them, breaking their contact. Rationally, he knew it was out of his control. She had to cope with everything on her own, because he'd been too much of a bastard to her for her to ever really trust him.
"I didn't know we were keeping score." It was an undeniable fact. They had placed each other in harm's way more than once. The debacle with La Grenouille and Tony still weighed heavily on her mind. "There's nothing we can do about it, Jethro. It happened, so we deal with it." It was the same mantra she'd preached to herself after the fallout following DiNozzo's mission.
The shift in her personality startled him. He could see the cold and emotionless facade slowly slipping in place. Their conversation had clearly dredged up something she still struggled with.
"I don't want to lose you, Jenny." Green eyes cut to his at his silent confession. He reached for her hand again, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. The future was unpredictable, he was far too aware of how easily things could change in the blink of an eye.
The morning sun filtered through the half-open blinds, warming the cold and impersonal hospital room. Jethro stretched his back, muscles aching from being crammed in the same position. Jenny was still fast asleep. He had arrived well before visiting hours, unable to get much sleep of his own. The quiet sigh drew his attention away from his morning paper.
Jenny pursed her lips, frowning in her sleep. A quiet mumble slipped before she settled down again.
Jethro smiled to himself, turning back to his paper. The small hospital room had turned into chaos after all the necessary paperwork had been signed. More tests had been run before they started the transfusion. The whole process had taken nearly four hours. He'd tried taking her mind off it, telling her about the trip to Arizona.
The night staff had forced him to go home since her condition didn't warrant him staying through the night. Duke had been excited to see him, but the pup had been looking for Jenny the moment he'd walked through the door. Noemi had made arrangements to stay the night to look after Duke, and he was thankful the faithful housekeeper was so loyal to Jenny.
He'd grabbed about two hours of sleep before Duke had whined to be let outside. Sleep had evaded him for the rest of the night.
A light knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. Glancing at his watched, he folded his paper. Nurse Vicky had warned him that doctor Geiger had order more blood tests. Vicky's head popped around the door, giving him an apologetic smile.
Placing a hand on Jenny's shoulder, he whispered in her ear. The sleepy laugh was well worth it as bleary green eyes blinked open. Pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth, he sat back.
"Not the best wake up call, I know." Vicky interrupted the quiet moment between the couple, "If these blood results come back and the doctor is happy, you should be discharged later this afternoon."
Jenny pressed her lips together, giving the nurse a tight smile. She'd grown rather fond of the young nurse, she was far less patronising than some of the other medical staff. The alcohol wipe was cold against her skin as she prepared the procedure.
Reaching for Jethro, he clasped her hand easily. She saw his eyes flick to the nurse as the needle pierced her skin. Gritting her teeth, she breathed slowly, fighting against the sensation.
"Okay, we're all done. Doctor Geiger has just started rounds, so he'll be here soon. I'm going to leave the door open, once he's done you can close it again. It gets a little noisy up here sometimes. I'll have someone bring a more comfortable chair, Mr Gibbs."
"Thanks." Jethro managed as the nurse shot them a smile before heading out the door.
Jenny rolled on her side, "Are you flirting with my nurse?" the unimpressed glare he shot her was well worth the tease. Pushing herself up, she sighed, "I'm surprised to see you here this early. Did you get any sleep?"
Jethro shrugged, going with his usual silent answer. Jenny narrowed her eyes at him. The lack of sleep was evident on his face. "Feeling any better?"
"Yeah, surprisingly. Just sore, but I think that's from how gracefully I hit the floor."
The fact that she was making jokes and had a little more colour in her cheeks made him feel more at ease. Reaching for the small duffel, he placed it next to her on the bed. "Thought you might want to change."
"I take it you don't like my dress."
The floor was cold beneath her feet as she stood. Jethro was next to her in an instant, torso pressed tightly against hers. He smelled heavenly as she caught a whiff of his aftershave. It only just hit her how much she'd missed him around the house. Duke had been moping too, each night waiting by the front door to see if he was coming home.
Rough fingers slipped inside the slit in the hospital gown, tracing all along her spine. "Seeing how easy it is to take off, you might want to take it home."
She thumped his shoulder lightly, laughing, "Have you no shame, Leroy Jethro Gibbs? Flirting with a lady in a hospital."
"Lady?" he snorted.
She gasped in shock, her fist meeting his shoulder a little harder this time. It only elicited a laugh from him.
"Go get dressed, wouldn't want to give the doctor an eyeful." He smacked her ass lightly as she walked away.
The day seemed to pass slowly, Geiger had made his rounds shortly after Jenny had gotten dressed. He'd explained that the next few weeks required close monitoring. Everyone had expressed how relieved they were to see she was looking far better than when she had been admitted. The dietitian had finally dropped by, setting up an appointment for the following day.
Jethro relaxed in the recliner someone had brought while he'd been on a coffee run. He sipped his coffee, staring out the window while Jenny read through the paper he'd brought along. They were waiting for the last of her blood results to come back before the doctor signed her discharge forms.
He stilled for a moment, blue eyes darting to the open door. Focusing on all the voices drifting around the hallway, he tried discerning what they were saying. It wasn't so much the voice, but the clomping of boots that confirmed his suspicions.
The heavy steps grew louder and more excited. Shooting a glance at Jenny, it didn't seem like she noticed, still too engross in the article she was reading.
A familiar face appeared in the doorway, green eyes innocent and bright. Dark lips smiled at him as she knocked on the door.
Jenny's head shot up, hoping that someone was there to tell them they could leave. "Abby," she gasped in surprise.
Abby Sciuto bounced excitedly, boots thumping on the linoleum floors, pigtails swinging. She placed a bouquet of black roses on the small table at the foot of the bed. A personalised 'Get Well Soon' card, decorated with signature bats, completed the look.
"I didn't mean to show up uninvited. When Gibbs didn't show up for work this morning, we knew something was wrong. Ziva called Tony and he told us what happened. Ducky wanted to come too, but he's busy in Autopsy and Jimmy can't do everything on his own yet an-"
"Abs," Jenny cut her off with a smile, "I'm glad you stopped by. Thank you for the flowers, I don't think I've ever seen black roses."
"It's from the team and me." Abby went off again, explaining where exactly she'd found them and why they were her favourite.
Jethro watched in amusement as Jenny was slowly sucked in by Abby's explanation. He knew the eccentric scientist well enough to know she'd lied about the flowers being from the team. After Tony's undercover mission and the events that followed, the team had turned a cold shoulder on the once esteemed Director Shepard.
Despite the confrontation between Jenny and DiNozzo, he was aware the Senior Field Agent still hadn't let any of it go. Ziva had berated herself for what had happened in Los Angeles, but he knew the young Mossad Officer had felt betrayed. Tim was too reserved and polite to show his anger, but he knew the young agent could hold onto a grudge just like the rest of them.
Abby forgave far too easily sometimes, but he felt a little at ease knowing she was in Jenny's corner.
It never bothered him what his team thought of his relationship with Jenny, and he never really cared. He and Jenny were too much alike, easily revenge driven and nothing could stop them. In the last few months she'd changed, the cold and impersonal Director had faded away and he'd seen the old Jenny slowly resurface.
"Are you guys doing anything for Thanksgiving?" Abby looked between them excitedly.
Jenny glanced at Jethro. Major holidays were usually spent in solitude. Despite the day being a few weeks away, she suspected he would be either working or spending time with his boat. Paris had been the only time either of them had really acknowledged any type of holiday.
"I don't have anything planned. Might take Duke to the park." She filled the awkward silence that had suddenly filled the room.
"If you want, you can join us at Ducky's. We usually invite Gibbs, but he never shows." Abby directed a pointed look at the man in question.
Jenny bit her lip. It was the first year that anyone on the team really invited her to celebrate something with them. She suspected Abby's intentions were pure, but the invitation seemed like it was solely extended to Jethro.
"Maybe me being there isn't such a good idea." Jenny offered the young woman an apologetic smile. The last thing she wanted was to make the whole team feel uncomfortable with her presence. She'd burned her bridges, and no apology could repair it.
"We'd love to have you there. Us girls are always outnumbered by the boys. It'll be nice to have another woman in our group. Please?"
"I'll see, Abs. But I can't make you any promises." It was the only way she could get herself out of this. She didn't want to disappoint Abby, but she knew well enough that if she showed up the holiday might be ruined for everyone.
"Gibbs?" Abby turned all her excited energy on him.
Jethro glanced at Jenny, realising that he wasn't exactly sure what the look on her face meant. Turning steely eyes on his Forensic scientist, he tried his best to glare at her.
The woman had a will of her own, and he knew she wouldn't leave before she got an answer out of him. "We'll see. Okay, Abs?" He opted for the same diplomatic answer.
Abby's shoulders sagged in defeat, heavy boots shuffling on the linoleum floor. "Fine, but I'm not giving up." The determination in her voice was undeniable, she was going to use every trick up her sleeve to have them there.
Hugging Jenny tentatively, she smiled at her brightly, "I have to go, Timmy can't run the lab all by himself. I hope you feel better soon."
"Bye, Gibbs." Abby glared at him, a little miffed that he wasn't willing to join them.
"It's not gonna work, Abs." He muttered, knowing she was trying to guilt him into agreeing.
"We'll see." With that she disappeared out the door, boots clomping down the hall.
The room was oddly quiet, the tranquil silence from earlier gone. They stared at each other for a moment.
Jenny chewed the inside of her cheek, "You should go."
Jethro shook his head, chuckling lightly, "Not if you're not going."
"I don't think I'm exactly welcome. I'm not on very good terms with your team, Jethro. It's unfair to spoil their day."
Jethro sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "We still have a few weeks. How about we wait and see how you feel before you decide?"
"Fair enough." If she countered his reasoning, they'd end up arguing about it.
The team was his own little found family, each and everyone coming from all walks of life. It said a lot that they were willing to spend the day with their monosyllabic boss as opposed to their families. In the back of her mind, she silently wondered if her involvement with Jethro was slowly coming between him and his team.
The weather had become progressively colder as the weeks of November ticked by, even though there had been a few days with decently warm temperatures.
The sky was a hue of warm orange and pink. Jenny seemed enthralled by the bright colours as she leaned her forehead against the window. Jethro stroked his thumb over her knuckles, she'd been on edge the whole week.
At first he'd blamed it on the constant monitoring of her health. There had been a number of improvements over the last few weeks. She almost seemed like her old self. It was when Monday rolled around and Thanksgiving crept up on them that the atmosphere between them became tense.
Glancing at his watch, he double checked to make sure they were still on time.
Abby had resorted to her own form of guerilla tactics. She'd somehow roped the team into inviting them to Thanksgiving one by one. Tony and Ziva had been first, followed by Tim and lastly Ducky had weighed in on the situation. When her plan hadn't worked, they had decided to drag Jenny into it.
They had all phoned her during the course of the last few weeks, each inviting the both of them to spend Thanksgiving at Ducky's.
He suspected his team had been unwilling participants in Abby's little scheme. Considering what they had to endure, it seemed only rational to agree to their invites. Something they had both grudgingly admitted.
Jenny fidgeted with her sweater, picking at something that wasn't there. "I spoke to your dad yesterday."
Jethro glanced at her, curious, "Why didn't he call me?"
"He wanted to know what we were planning for Christmas. He said you'd just blow him off." Jenny shook her head, watching the scenery flash by, "Seems like everyone's got the holiday season on their mind."
"And?" he couldn't remember the last time he'd spent any kind of holiday with the old man.
"Said I'll talk to you. Sounded like he was excited by the idea of coming to visit."
He didn't comment, they had to get through this dinner first.
He watched her discreetly as he navigated the last mile. She'd been nervous from the moment they'd left the house and hadn't stopped picking at her sweater ever since. She'd opted for a pair of designer jeans and a soft cashmere sweater. It was supposed to be a relaxed affair.
The large Mallard mansion came into view as they drove up the driveway. Abby's hot rod was parked haphazardly followed by the rest of the team's cars.
Jethro pulled up behind McGee's Porsche, killing the Chrysler's engine. Unclipping his seatbelt, he saw Jenny reluctantly do the same. It wasn't exactly how he'd envisioned his Thanksgiving. There was no telling exactly how tonight was going to turn out.
The air was cold, slicing through his jacket and polo shirt. Opening Jenny's door, he offered her his hand. Lacing his fingers with hers, she gripped his hand anxiously.
The wind swept around them as they made their way up the footpath. Turning away from him, Jenny sneezed, sniffing quietly. Rubbing her nose, she met his concerned gaze, "I'm fine, Jethro. It's probably just the dust."
He simply raised an eyebrow at her. Tugging her a little closer, he felt his stomach clench as they made it to the front door. He didn't know what to expect from his team. Ziva and Tim would at least be civil, it was Tony he wasn't too sure about. He trusted the young man to at least keep his emotions in check.
Jenny's nerves were frayed, he'd sensed as much from how quickly a discussion between them could turn into an argument.
The doorbell chimed happily, the muffled sound of music confirming the party was already in full swing.
The heavy door swung open, revealing a very happy Abby Sciuto grinning from ear to ear. Her smile faltered imperceptibly as she regarded her guests. It had taken a lot of convincing on her part to get the team to invite them over for Thanksgiving. In a perfectly rehearsed ploy they had all urged her to leave the couple alone if they didn't want to join them.
She wasn't sure how everything was going to play out. Gibbs rarely joined them for anything social, and none of them had ever spent time with Jenny outside of work, except Ziva.
Reservations aside, she enveloped them both in a warm hug. "I'm so glad you're here."
They were quickly ushered inside and led through to the dining room where everyone was already seated. There was a collective yet muted greeting.
Abby quickly plonked them in their seats. She'd agonised for days over where everyone would sit without making it awkward. The safest option was to seat Jenny between her and Gibbs. She'd placed the fearless leader at the head of the table across from Ducky. Ziva had kindly agreed to sit across from Jenny, apparently not trusting Tony either. Tony and Tim were across from each other next to Ducky.
"You better pay up, DiNozzo." Abby warned as she took her seat.
"Abigail," Ducky admonished lightly. He should've known they'd somehow try and make money off of each other. Turning his attention to his two new guests, he offered them a warm smile, "It's wonderful that you could join us."
Jenny gave Ducky a forced smile, hoping none of the observant eyes watching her would realise she was uncomfortable. Betraying herself, her eyes strayed to Tony DiNozzo. He was the only one not looking at her.
Thankfully the conversation quickly picked back up. Ducky was educating Ziva about the traditions of Thanksgiving with Abby interjecting her opinion ever so often. Tim and Tony were silently arguing over who was kicking who while occasionally adding to Ducky's lesson.
Jenny sipped at the glass of almost warm sparking water. She'd opted for silence, listening for the last forty-five minutes as everyone exchanged stories. The alcohol seemed to work its magic on most of them. Jethro was already on his third glass of bourbon, something he drank rarely these days. The rest seemed to relax with each passing beer. Ducky had opted for something non-alcoholic, and she assumed it was to make her feel a little more welcome.
A small bell chimed somewhere in the house, "Dinner is ready." Ducky excused himself, dragging Abby and Tim with him.
Swallowing the warm water in distaste, Jenny placed the empty glass of water next to Jethro's empty tumbler. She could feel his cool blue eyes bore right through her. Up until now Abby had acted as a buffer between her and the rest of the table.
Glancing at Tony, she saw him study the label on his beer bottle intently. Their history was clearly making everyone uncomfortable.
"I ran into Cynthia the other day," Ziva broke the tense silence, "she is very happy with her new job, yes?"
Trying to keep the surprise off her face, Jenny nodded, "Yeah, they've been after her for years. The job pays a lot better than NCIS ever could."
Ziva David wasn't one to make small talk.
Jethro reached underneath the table, placing a warm palm on Jenny's thigh. He felt her tense under his touch. He'd been watching her, could see she was slowly building the walls he'd fought so hard to break down. He caught the discreet look she shot him, fingers lacing with his.
The awkward silence settled again.
There were a lot of hurt and betrayed feelings between the three of them. He knew that the attempt on Tony's life was far beyond her control. They had been in a similar position countless times before. Both of them had almost been killed on separate occasions. He didn't necessarily agree with the way she'd used Tony, but he had every opportunity to walk away from the mission.
Abby's cheerful voice broke the tension as she waltzed into the room, an annoyed Tim trudging along behind her.
The chatter picked back up as the table slowly filled with dishes. Tim heaved the turkey onto the table, wondering if Abby had been dead set on finding the biggest one. He'd caught her and Ducky whispering in the kitchen and it didn't take a degree to realise they were talking about how uncomfortable Jenny looked.
Taking his seat, he glanced at the former Director. He'd had his differences with her, especially when his sister had been a suspect. They had all been quick to think ill of her, never realising the enormity of the responsibility she carried.
Glancing at Tony, he saw him drain the last of his beer. They'd all noticed how subdued he was. Instead of cracking jokes and poking fun at something, he seemed to be brooding. The pointy elbow being rammed into his ribs broke him out of his musings. Shooting Abby an annoyed glare, Tim took the dinner rolls she offered.
Abby raised her wine glass, seemingly drawing everyone's attention as they continued to fill their plates. The music was still playing somewhere in the background, filling the tense silence. "Seeing as we are all together for the holidays," she shot Gibbs a pointed look, "I think we should all participate in a Sciuto family tradition."
There was a collective groan from the team.
Rolling her eyes, she continued, "Everyone's going to say what they're thankful for." Another pointed look landed on Gibbs. "I'll start. This year I'm thankful for friends and family and that we all get to spend the day together." She directed a warm smile at Jenny. "Timmy, you're next."
Tim looked at her in bewilderment, wondering if he shouldn't have exchanged seats with Ziva when he had the chance. Swallowing the mouthful of potatoes, he wiped at the corner of his lips. "Um…"
"Wrong answer, Probie." Tony sneered as he stuffed his mouth with turkey, the amount of alcohol he'd consumed was starting to show.
Tim rolled his eyes, raising his beer, "I'm thankful for another year of successful crime solving."
Abby wrinkled her nose, leaning closer and whispering in his ear, "Couldn't think of something else, huh?" He shook his head, offering her a gentle smile.
Ducky cleared his throat, "This year has taught me to appreciate those close to us, and for that I am thankful."
Jethro reached under the table, squeezing Jenny's thigh gently. He met her guarded gaze, silently conveying his meaning. The brush of her fingers over his was the only response he got.
Tony swallowed, realising all eyes were on him. He'd only agreed to Abby's charade to get her off his back and to not hurt her feelings. Scanning the table, he caught the exchange between his boss and Jenny. He swallowed heavily. In some way he'd forgiven her, but he begrudged her for what happened between him and Jeanne.
He raised his newly opened beer, "I'm thankful for my health and that I'm still alive."
Jenny's hand stilled. Licking her lips, she tried to keep her emotions in check. She met the young man's penetrative gaze. The table held a collective breath. Looking down, she pushed her food around in her plate, her appetite gone.
Jethro shot a warning glare at his Senior Field Agent.
Ziva raised her glass of wine, realising that the fate of how the rest of the dinner was going progress rested firmly on her shoulders. "I am thankful for the opportunity to join NCIS."
All eyes turned to Jethro. He briefly glanced at Jenny's curious emerald eyes, ignoring her barely concealed smile. Abby watched him expectantly, clearly waiting for his answer. Ignoring the rest of them, he pointedly speared more turkey onto his fork. "Pass," he shrugged with a mouth full of food.
"Gibbs," Abby warned, eyes narrowed and her fork pointed at him threateningly.
He chewed slowly, swallowing, he went for more turkey. "Abs," his tone left no room for argument.
"Fine." Abby sighed dejectedly, the response uncharacteristic.
"Why does Gibbs get to pass?" Tim looked at her indignantly, brows pinched.
The question seemed to set off an argument, sparing Jenny from having all eyes on her. She picked at her food, listening as the two next to her quarrelled between themselves while Ducky decided to regale them with a story.
Swallowing against the lump in her throat, she pushed her plate away. "Please excuse me."
Jethro sat up straight, "What's wrong?"
"I just need the restroom." She whispered quietly, knowing he'd follow her if she didn't lie.
Tony sipped his beer, observing Jenny's movements. His seat offered him the perfect view of the hall leading straight into the foyer. She stopped in the foyer, unaware that he was watching her. She hesitated, fingers pressed to her lips. Green eyes narrowed as she headed for the front door.
"Anyone want more beer?" the question didn't seem to get any response.
Running a hand through his hair, he quietly made his way down the hall and to the front door. Resting a hand on the doorknob, he debated what he was about to do.
The wind was freezing as he stepped outside, the warmth from the alcohol doing little to fight off the chill. Green eyes darting around the large porch, he smiled grimly. The last time he was here, he and Kate had been tasked with protection detail. He could hear her voice as clear as day, chiding him for his poor behaviour earlier.
Spotting the hunched figure at the bottom of the steps, he shifted uneasily. He could still hear the chatter from the team and was sure Gibbs would catch on to his disappearance pretty soon. Rolling down his shirt sleeves to fight the cold, he slowly made his way down the steps. The amount of beer he'd had was not nearly enough to make him drunk.
"Mind if I join you?" he found it in him to at least be civil towards her.
Jenny's head snapped around, she hadn't even noticed she wasn't alone. She shook her head, propping her chin on her palm, eyes staring off at the dimly lit garden that surrounded the property.
Tony let out a heavy breath as he sat down, flinching as the cold seeped through his jeans. The muffled sneeze drew his attention.
"Should you be outside?" it wasn't lost on him that her health was in a very perilous state.
Jenny rolled her eyes good-naturedly, "It's just a little sinus infection."
They glanced at each other, immediately looking away when their eyes met.
The wind rushed through the evergreen trees, leaves rustling in the night air. No one in their right mind would be outside, but here they were.
Tony cleared his throat, seriously considering if he should've at least had one more beer before coming outside. A little Dutch courage had never really hurt anyone. He hadn't exactly helped with how awkward the night had been so far. He suspected his attitude towards Jenny had influenced the rest of the team's opinion.
"What I said in there," he shook his head, face almost pinched in embarrassment, "I shouldn't have said it."
She let a soft sigh slip, "You have every right to be angry." Meeting his narrowed gaze, she shrugged, "I would be surprised if you weren't. What I did… I should've known better."
Tony ran a hand through his hair, eyes darting aimlessly around the garden. "Is it true? That it was a joint operation between NCIS and the CIA?"
Considering his question for a moment, she straightened her back, wondering how he knew. After everything she'd put him through he deserved to know the truth. "One of their operatives approached me, off the books of course. I didn't know who any of the players were, but they pointed me in Jeanne's direction. They wanted to get rid of René Benoit, and I was a willing participant. His death was sanctioned, and it didn't matter who pulled the trigger."
Another gust of wind swept over them.
"But that's not what you really wanted to ask." Jenny offered him a tight smile as he studied her with guarded eyes, no doubt trying to see if she was leading him on.
"What do you mean, you should've known better?"
Breathing in the icy wind, her lungs ached from the cold air. Covering her mouth quickly, she coughed, sniffing quietly. "I saw the warning signs the moment you questioned how intimate you should be with her. I should've pulled you right then and there."
"Why didn't you?" he betrayed himself by letting his emotions taint his voice.
"Hate," she didn't shy away from his angry glare, "I wanted him to suffer the same way I did. It didn't matter who got hurt in the process."
The lack of response made her nervous. She wasn't seeking forgiveness, but after everything she'd put him through, she could at least offer him some closure. "I can't take back what I've done, Tony. I've said it before, but I really am sorry."
Another wave of silence swept over them. Tony relaxed, for the first time he could see the flawed woman behind all the bravado she used to hide behind. He'd been in law enforcement long enough to know he could've stopped everything. The first time he'd questioned her motives he could've bypassed the chain of command. There was no denying he'd been a little power hungry. He'd just been demoted, and the dynamic in the team was still shaky. Being trusted with the mission gave him back a little control.
"You said you knew what it was like falling in love undercover." He didn't miss the way her body stiffened, or the defensive glare she directed at her feet. "It was Gibbs, wasn't it?"
Clearing her throat to fight against the sudden tickle, she rubbed her hands over her thighs, hoping to get some feeling back. Meeting his gaze, she noticed the almost childlike curiosity dancing in his green eyes. She couldn't pretend things between her and Jethro weren't serious.
"It was far more complicated back then." She saw his eyes widen, "Some days you question who you are. There's always a risk of losing yourself when you're undercover. We were partners pretending to be a couple. There was no telling what was real and what wasn't. In some way it was inevitable."
"Things are only as complicated as we make them," he looked at her pointedly, "nothing is inevitable." Ziva David had uttered those very words to him in autopsy. It was clear to everyone just how much Jenny and Gibbs meant to each other. He'd seen first hand how Gibbs had reacted to Jenny being hospitalised, and he'd seen how much she'd been affected after Gibbs' coma.
"You can't build a relationship on lies." Jenny sighed softly, "It never ends well."
Tony raised an eyebrow, "Figured as much when I was accused of murder."
She studied him for a moment, easily spotting the hurt she'd once carried around. "Tony, do you really think it could've worked? What were the chances of you two meeting if everything hadn't been orchestrated?"
He was silent for a long while, a pensive look on his face.
"I guess… I never really thought about it like that before." The realisation laced his voice, making him sound distracted. "I really loved her."
"I know." The compassion she showed caught him off guard. She knew exactly what he had gone through.
"You've changed, Jenny." He tried conveying his sincerity. "A year ago you would've brushed me off."
Jenny smiled at him, but it didn't quite reach her eyes, "It doesn't change what I've done."
Tony pushed himself to his feet, the cold slowly seeping into his bones. Holding out a hand to her, he helped her up. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he gave her a patent DiNozzo smile, "I think everyone deserves a second chance."
She gave him an almost watery smile, she whispered, "Thank you."
He pulled her into a tentative hug, "I'm glad you're okay. Gibbs was really worried about you."
Movement near the front door caught his attention.
"You're a good man, Anthony DiNozzo."
Standing back, he grinned down at her, "I try." Clearing his throat, he finally acknowledged the other presence, "Hey, Boss. Are we having dessert yet?"
"It's almost finished, DiNozzo."
"What?" he cried out, thundering up the steps and past Gibbs, ready to give his so-called team mates a piece of his mind.
Jethro waited until the door slammed shut behind him before he moseyed towards Jenny. Slipping his hands inside his jean pockets, he slowly descended the steps. She seemed a little awkward, wrapping her arms around herself for a little more warmth.
Pressing himself against her, he wrapped an arm around her. He was relieved to see the familiar sparkle in her green eyes. He ran his eyes over her, noting how pink her cheeks were from the cold.
"Anything I have to know about?" he teased, leaning down and nudging his nose against her much colder one.
"Just a long overdue conversation." She smiled against his lips, smelling the alcohol on his breath.
"Mm," he hummed quietly, he wasn't going to pry, but the kid did seem to be in a better mood. "You never answered."
Frowning, she cupped his cheek, "Did I miss something?"
"You never said what you were thankful for." He straightened, staring down at her, he couldn't help but glance down at her lips as they twitched into a smile.
"I thought I got out of that one." She was enjoying his inebriated state. It had been years since she'd last seen him this unguarded. "Where do I start?"
He shrugged nonchalantly, hugging her closer, "Warm summer nights… Duke…"
"You?" she pressed a kiss to his lips, tasting the bourbon.
"If you want." He grinned against her cheek, burying his nose in the crook of her neck.
"Are you drunk?" she wondered just how much he'd had to drink while she'd been talking to Tony.
"Nah," he shook his head, kissing her again. "You okay?"
She considered his question for a moment, reflecting on the last half an hour. "I'm just fine." The relief was evident in his eyes. He slipped a hand under her sweater, rough fingers stroking the small off her back. "You're definitely tipsy. I think I'll have to take you home."
He snickered in her ear, giving away just how drunk he really was, "I'll go wherever you want, Jen."
A/N: I was never impressed by how the writers had ruined Jenny's whole character with the Frog arc. This was an attempt to smooth over the issues between Jenny and Tony. Obviously everyone has various opinions over how that played out, I tried to go about this logically.