Trigger warning - alcoholism
I don't really need you but I want you. I just wanna do some things I don't do, get me in the mood...get me in the mood. Maybe you can have your cake and eat it, come a little closer and you can see it, got me in your view. We could rendezvous. Honestly be honest, practice what you promise—you know you can have this any way you want it. I'm done with hearing you talk—it's about time you start walking the walk
24th January 2021
Upon waking up Merlin and Morgana were greeted to a lovely garden full of lovely fresh white snow.
"Finally!" Morgana squealed as she raced over to the window as best she could while breastfeeding. "It's finally snowed!".
"Goodness me you're like a child" Merlin chuckled as he joined his wife at the window opening the curtains. "Okay, that looks amazing".
"It does doesn't it!" Morgana agreed. "Snow gear on, we are heading out!". The family made sure to have a hearty breakfast and layered themselves up with puddle suits, pram suits and waterproof over-trousers before they headed out into the garden. Morgana had put Alfie in the pram as they threw snowballs at one another, attempted to make a snowman though soon gave up as there simply wasn't enough snow (at least in the garden).
"Park?" Amhar asked.
"Okay, we can go to the park" Morgana agreed.
"We're going to walk to the park in this weather..." Merlin drawled. "We'll freeze!".
"We can drive" Morgana shrugged. "Shall we call Mithian?".
"Don't see why not, it is within the rules" Merlin agreed as Morgana phoned her, arranging to meet at the fields rather than the park as they would likely be less busy. As it didn't have the best parking they decided it'd be better to walk down there instead fully bundled up. Usually Amhar would be fine with walking though they knew that by the time they would be finished he'd be cold and want nothing more than to bundle himself up in the buggy (and probably take a nap).
"Right which pushchairs should we take?" Merlin asked.
"The bugaboo for Alfie" Morgana said as she put the baby in. "The car buggy for Amhar?".
"Okay, sure" Merlin agreed. "I need to get it out my car".
"I'm make him go for a last toilet run" Morgana said as Merlin went outside. They didn't end up leaving the house for a little while in the end, Amhar decided that he needed a poo and then Alfie needed a nappy change so they had to strip from their warm clothes as it was too hot inside and then get all of them back on again as they headed towards the Vauxhall fields.
"Blimey" Merlin huffed as he pushed the stroller down the path. "Oof".
"Time to get off your lazy arse Merlin" Morgana chuckled as she easily pushed Alfie's pram along.
"There's so much marking to do, emails to reply to and meetings to attend that I simply don't have time".
"I could do some marking" Morgana offered.
"Really?" Merlin blinked. "Sure you'll be up to it?".
"You have the marking guide with the answers right?" Morgana checked. Merlin nodded. "Then I don't see the issue".
"Thank you" Merlin smiled and kissed his wife. "You're a lifesaver".
"Dont thank me yet" Morgana smirked. "Once I'm back at work I fully expect you to help me with my work".
"How the hell does that work?" Merlin wondered. "I don't know a thing about Shakespeare".
"Maybe not after all" Morgana sighed. As soon as they got to the fields they began taking lots of photos as a family, having a mini photoshoot all together as much as the children would allow them to. Athena was happy to toddle around in the snow while Amhar adored every minute, especially when Leon pulled him and Athena behind him in the toboggan. Morgana took Alfie in for a moment too and Leon and Merlin worked together to slowly pull her and the baby behind them. Alfie could now sot up by himself unaided though only for a few seconds before he would fall over and decided that he hated being in he pram as he couldn't see what was happening so instead was propped up slightly in Amhar's buggy.
"I can't believe he's so big now" Morgana pouted.
"He'll be outgrowing the carrycot soon enough" Mithian remarked.
"Don't say that!" Morgana scowled. "He can't be outgrowing it already. He's still a little baby".
"I'm sure he's just amused by all the snow" Mithian shrugged as Morgana picked him up and held him close to her chest. Alfie was a rather fussy baby, he hated being put down so Merlin and Morgana took it in shifts to hold him. As expected he did get rather hungry though Morgana wasn't exactly appropriately dressed, allowing herself to temporarily freeze so the baby could eat. Both children fell asleep in their respective prams as they walked home. As they had the hive system that meant that they could turn in the heating even when they weren't home, at walking inside they were greeted by a lovely blast of hot air. Merlin and Morgana were both drenched in sweat as they took the the snow-suit off their children and the wellies. Merlin took Amhar and lay him on the sofa while Morgana stripped her top half off and went over to the sofa as Alfie cried in hunger.
"Breastfeeding in the snow, never again" Morgana muttered. "Next time we go out there it won't be for long enough that he'd need a feed".
"He can start solids next week" Merlin smiled. "At six months old".
"He can" Morgana confirmed with a smile. "Though milk is still the main source of nutrition until one year old. I can't believe he's getting so big".
"Look at these adorable matching outfits for the boys" Merlin pouted. He held up a t-shirt for Amhar with a blue dinosaur that read 'big brother saurus' while Alfie had a baby-grow with grey stripes and a small dinosaur across the chest reading 'little brother' with spikes along the foot. They waited for Alfie to finish eating and Amhar to wake up before they changed the boys.
"Aww! That is adorable!" Morgana cooed. "Amhar let's get changed, you're all wet now".
"Ooh! Dino!" Amhar squealed as he patted the dinosaur across his chest. "Me and baby Alfie same".
"You are" Morgana agreed with a smile. "Do you want to hold him?".
"Yeah" Amhar beamed. Merlin made Amhar sit back against the sofa and put Alfie in his lap while Morgana snapped lots and lots of photos.
"How are they so, so perfect" Morgana wondered.
"They can be hard work a lot" Merlin shrugged. "Though still, they're the best". Merlin made pesto pasta for lunch alongside some nice warm hot chocolate so that they all could defrost from the morning, opting to stay indoors snuggled up together.
26th January 2021
"So what will Alfie's first food be?" Merlin wondered.
"Hmm ... I'm not sure" Morgana replied. "We're definitely doing baby-led weaning so instead of purées we give him some of what we have. On occasion I would be okay with giving him baby-food but the majority of the time he'd eat solid. Gwen had a simple Tommee Tippee processor though I haven't found that good so have the baby NutriBullet on order. Then there's the regular NutriBullet which is great for us so we can do soup for the kids separately without worrying about the salt content for Amhar too. Though I would prefer to start out with small things".
"So like vegetables?" Merlin checked. "Banana slices, cooked carrots. That sort of thing?".
"Exactly" Morgana agreed. "Things like that. Small finger foods".
"Well here you go" Merlin smiled as he passed Morgana the phone. "You know what you're doing and I've got the usual things added so".
"I'll do that" Morgana said as she scrolled through the Tesco app, adding avocado, bananas, butternut squash to name a few along with many other assortments of fruits and vegetables. Alfie would be six months old next week and had been exclusively breastfed for that time so Morgana was slightly nervous about branching out into solid foods that could contaminate his virgin gut, even though he was showing all the signs of readiness. He could easily support his own head, sit unaided for a few seconds, almost was ready to move out the carrycot and kept watching with awe at everyone else as they ate their food.
As she'd promised a few days prior, Morgana began to help Merlin with his marking after work ended. Amhar would be happy to watch the TV (after spending all day playing and entertaining him, Morgana found that Netflix, Disney+ and CBeebies were rather good babysitters) while they got on with their marking.
"So it's not as simple as putting a tick next to the answer!" Morgana exclaimed rather perplexedly.
"Yup" Merlin sighed. "You need to mark the whole working out thing too".
"Mummy! I need a poo" Amhar shouted just as Alfie began to cry.
"Mind if I take back my offer to mark?" Morgana grimaced.
"It's okay" Merlin chuckled. "You can go be with the kids".
"See you soon" Morgana kissed Merlin's forehead and left the conservatory. Merlin sighed and threw his head back. He hated lockdown, absolutely hated it. For some reason while he was physically in work it made all the different—seeing the children, walking around the premises, hearing the laughter and waking up at six in the morning. Alfie was continuing to wake through the night though seemed to be crying louder as he was having a growth spurt and probably would be teething soon. They did wake up at six in the morning still as that was when Alfie would awake though Merlin would be exhausted and stay in bed until he absolutely had to get out of bed and get himself looking presentable for online teaching. He always felt as though he was about to fall asleep during his online classes though when it came to night time he simply couldn't sleep. Plus he couldn't blame the baby for waking him up throughout the night as it was painful for him to be teething and he wanted to comfort suck.
Morgana would be out the house in the mornings and in the afternoon, then again out of the way while she put Amhar to bed when the Tesco delivery would come and he'd put it all away. Merlin looked behind him once more and searched "beer" finding his old favourites—Heineken, guinness, corona extra (he rolled his eyes at the irony) and birra moretti. He looked behind himself once more, Morgana sat on the sofa breastfeeding while Amhar played with his cars and then went back to the drinks. Add to basket he hit on all of them. He then added some grey goose vodka, Bombay sapphire flavoured gin, strawberry and lime flavoured gin alongside some spiced fruit gin. That would be enough to get him through the next week of teaching online.
"Okay, so" Morgana said as she went up to him. "We've given our notice to the tenant and we've given them enough time to vacate the property so, I reckon we should start listing".
"Hm?" Merlin asked as he looked up. The clock on the wall indicated it was almost eight.
"You probably should eat some dinner" Morgana said. "Amhar is out, I guess you've finished all your work now".
Merlin blinked hard and tried to balance his focus. "Yeah ... sure. Okay".
"I'll go warm it up" Mrogana said happily as she made her way to the kitchen with Alfie on her hip.
Merlin rubbed his fingers to his temples and massaged them, willing himself to focus. He still had lots of marking to do, though it could wait. He switched his computer off and joined Morgana at the table as they ate.
"Well you've been busy haven't you" Morgana remarked as she chopped a quorn nugget in half. "So much working! I mean you're practically a workaholic and I'm like a single parent at this point".
"Huh?" Merlin asked as he looked up.
"You're like a workaholic and I'm like a single parent with the amount you're working" Morgana said.
"Yeah .. I guess" Merlin said slowly. "Sorry. Coronabrain".
"Working from home sucks" Morgana agreed. "Walks suck, pandemics suck ... this whole thing sucks".
"So we've listed the apartments up?" Merlin checked.
"Yes, the estate agent said that they've listed them up ... there's a few that are interested too".
"Already!" Merlin's eyes widened. "That's so quick".
"I know" Morgana agreed with a sigh. "Well, house hunting time it is".
"I guess so after all" Merlin agreed as they began going through estate agents and houses in Camelot. They had found quite a few that they liked though they simply weren't as good as they hoped it to be and they wanted this home to be their 'forever home' so had to get it right.
27th January 2021
"Thank you very much" Merlin smiled at the Tesco delivery driver as he grabbed the crate and took it through to the kitchen. He looked around twice and on the baby monitor—Morgana was still upstairs with Alfie so he quickly emptied his beer into the draw in his desk and left the rest of the food on the counter, returning the crate to the delivery driver and making his way up the stairs. He stood in the doorway with a smile on his face, watching as Morgana sat in the rocking chair feeding Alfie with Amhar on her other side as she read them a Peter rabbit book.
"I am sorry to say that Peter was not very well during the evening. His mother put him to bed and made some chamomile tea; and she gave a dose of it to Peter! 'One table-spoonful to be taken at bed-time'. But Flopsy, Mopsy and cotton-tail had bread and milk for supper".
"The end" Amhar summarised as he shut the book and rested his head on Morgana's chest.
"Come on kiddo" Morgana said as she put Alfie over her shoulder and began to burp him. "Time for bed".
"Yeah. Daddy!" Amhar squealed as he saw Merlin standing in the doorway and ran over to him. Merlin smiled and chuckled and lifted him into the air in a hug.
"Time for bed sweet" Merlin reminded him.
"I know" Amhar pouted. He climbed into bed with his bat and his bunny, pulling the blanket over it. "Alfie in my bed?".
"Okay" Morgana agreed as she gave him the baby. She turned around for a moment and grabbed her phone, taking lots of photos of the two cuddled up in bed.
"Alfie kiss!" Amhar said as he puckered up his lips and kissed the baby on his cheek. "Awww! Alfie!".
Merlin went over to his wife and wrapped his arm around her waist. "They're so sweet together" Merlin pouted.
"They are" Morgana agreed. "I hope they stay like this forever".
"Eugh! Daddy! Alfie was sick on me!". Amhar (naturally, dressed in his favourite hey duggee pyjamas) had a white patch of spit-up all over the face of Duggee.
"Oh dear!" Morgana gasped as she picked up Alfie. "What's wrong huh?". The baby was seemingly unaware as to what was happening instead looking at his mother and grinning as he pulled on her top.
"Alfie sick!" Amhar scowled.
"Doesn't matter, we can just change your top" Merlin said as he put a new pyjama top on Amhar. Amhar went ahead and threw a tantrum at not having matching pyjamas and then Alfie decided that at Amhar being set off he was set off too. As he had begun sleeping earlier in the bed now, Merlin and Morgana tended to stay in bed with him and watch something on the laptop instead of leaving him alone in their room.
"You heading down?" Morgana frowned as she saw Merlin going to the door.
He nodded. "I've got some marking to do. Probably will take a while, so ..".
"Okay" Morgana shrugged. "Guess I'll watch a movie. How long do you think you'll be?".
"Don't wait up" Merlin said as he closed the door and made his way downstairs to the conservatory. He opened the drawer up and opened a can of Heineken, downing it as he began some marking. The beer burned his throat and he felt his head becoming slightly woozy. If he was being honest he rather missed the feeling. He'd only have one, it wasn't a big deal. He wouldn't go back to the way he was before, just take the edge off. Though he didn't want Morgana to know and he couldn't sleep in bed with the baby. Eighteen steps and eighteen months forward, one step and can back. Merlin had four cans and then slept on the sofa. The moment he woke up the next morning his head was throbbing and his stomach was swirling. He went over to his desk and opened up another can.