A/N: Please enjoy this next chapter!
The trip back to Coruscant was restful, and Padmé continued to see a gentler and attentive Vader which touched her. She figured that he must have realized that she needed a break from roughness after their hellish experience on Kijimi. Regardless, she was appreciative.
"Are you excited to be getting back to the estate?", Vader asked as they lounged on the couch in the common area.
"I actually am", Padmé said. "I've missed Dormé, but I'm sure she found some ways to occupy herself while we were gone.
Vader smirked. "I guess Sergeant Alexander was one of those ways", he said amusedly. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, as long as he focuses on his job while he's on duty."
Padmé kept being surprised that Vader blessed the relationship with Dormé and one of his guards. She had figured that he would have been completely against it, but he wasn't, not in the slightest. Maybe he understood the need for basic human contact, especially after being with her. That warmed her heart, and she was glad that her friend had found someone.
"What's Sergeant Alexander's first name by the way? It'd be nice to refer to him as something other than his rank and last name", Padmé inquired.
"It's Orson I believe", Vader said as he stretched out. "Yes, it definitely is Orson. He's a good man, I'm glad that he's on my personal guard."
That brought up an additional question. "What will happen to the Death Troopers that have been on assignment here on the Devastator? Will they go back to another combat unit or will they stay with one another?", she asked.
"Ah, I see you've formed a friendship with Corporal Eckard", Vader grumbled.
"No, not a friendship, he was simply kind to me at the garrison and while we were trekking to Killich", Padmé replied. She didn't want her fiancé to become jealous at all, she just was getting used to her new life and the new people in it.
Vader sighed. "I'm probably going to keep them assigned to the Devastator in case we need them again. My personal guard will still accompany us, but it'd be nice to have more Death Troopers on assignment in case something goes sideways like on Dathomir", he said. "Not that I'm gearing up for anything, but you never know. Things change rapidly in the Empire as I'm sure you've noticed."
"I have", Padmé replied. "It's good that you rely on others when times get rough. I think you're one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy, but it's good that you have people to rely on." Seriously, he wasn't a one man army as much as he believed he was at times, although he certainly could handle himself.
"Well, thank you for the compliment", Vader said. "I've learned to rely on others during my skirmishes with the Jedi, so it's not like I've been going at it alone for a long time. As you've seen, I'm not invincible."
"That's true", Padmé said.
She leaned against Vader, showing a sign of adoration to him, making him feel confident. She needed her fiancé to feel like he was loved, especially after her dream about him on Naboo. That stuck out in her mind for some reason, she didn't know why, it just did.
Vader slipped on arm around her as they gazed out the viewport, waiting for the Devastator to return to real space in just a little while. Sometimes the best thing was just being silent around one another. No sex, no banter, just in the comfort of each other's arms.
…
The shuttle landed at Vader's estate and Padmé leapt up, eager to meet Dormé. She raced out of the shuttle and as expected, her friend was waiting for her amongst the personal guard. Padmé ran to her friend and the clasped each other in a tight embrace.
"Was it a good trip, love?", Dormé asked.
"It was nice, but it had it's rocky moments, love", Padmé said. "I'll tell you all about it, but I'm curious to know how your time here alone with Orson has been."
"Oh, so you found out his first name. It's been very good, he and I have spent a lot of time together and even went into the city a few times on some proper dates and he even took me shopping, the sweet man. He's really a lady killer in civilian clothes too."
Padmé laughed, grateful that her friend was well occupied. That made her think about the Death Troopers sitting at the tavern with their helmets off. It seemed like being attractive enough to make women swoon was a job requirement.
"That's wonderful, my friend. I'm so exhausted from the trip, why don't we go inside for a bit and relax by the fireplace. I'm still chilled to the bones from being on that damned ice planet, it'll feel good to be next to a fire for a bit", Padmé said.
"Alright, Padmé", Dormé said as she took Padmé's hand and they both went inside to the front living area where the fireplace was. There was a bottle of wine and some glasses and Dormé pulled the cork and poured them some wine.
Padmé accepted it and took a sip, pleasantly surprised that it was from Naboo. Vader must keep a large stock of it on hand, especially for her. How sweet of the man. What else would he think of?
"So, tell me, how was the planet?", Dormé asked.
"It was freezing. It was well below zero at night and in the teens during the day. The first night wasn't bad as we stayed in Vader's exquisite chambers, which had a breathtaking view of the mountains. He also let me have a tour of the base, which was nice that I was able to do that during his meetings.", Padmé explained.
"I'm sure that you two found some other activities to enjoy yourself with", Dormé teased.
Padmé blushed. "We most certainly did. The man can be a sexed starved fiend when he's in the mood, not that I'm complaining", Padmé replied. "Though the trek to the village was daunting. We were attacked by large creatures named wampas numerous times. It was frightening but we made through it. The trek was so long it made me exhausted, especially sleeping in a tent that first night. But we got to stay at an inn during the negotiation, so that was nice. I even got to meet a woman that Ani bedded a couple of years ago."
"How did that go?", Dormé asked with a frown on her face.
"Better than I expected. She was a red head with big tits, but Ani wasn't turned on by her in the slightest. He was very attentive to me, instead of her. He was quite harsh with her during the negotiations, which made me feel a little bad about her, but she was a harsh bitch anyway. Then we got picked up by a shuttle, packed, and made our way back here", Padmé finished. "Overall, I'd say that military operations aren't my cup of tea, but I did get my adventure that I was craving, so there was that."
Dormé looked at her with an appraising eye. "I'm glad you got your adventure in, and I'm also glad you didn't scratch the bitch's eyes out", she said with a smirk.
"That doesn't mean I didn't want to", Padmé replied as she took a sip of her wine. "I'm making certain that if I go on another adventure with Ani that the possibility of running into a woman that he fucked will be slim to none, but something tells me it'll happen again. The man is a sex machine, though I can't blame him for having a past."
"No, I suppose not", Dormé said as she sipped her wine as well.
The fire was cracking and provided a good ambiance. Padmé had missed the scent and sight of real wood burning in a fireplace, so it was nice. Hell, she missed the estate in general. Was she getting spoiled? Maybe she was, but that didn't matter to her in the slightest right now. She was just content to be home and with her friend.
"I beg your pardons, but dinner is ready to be served" Threepio announced. Damn that droid for interrupting peaceful moments.
"Alright", Padmé said as she stood, picking up the wine bottle and the two women headed to the grand dinning room where Vader was already waiting, typing rapidly on a pad, no doubt finishing some last second work while he waited.
"Now Ani, no work at the table", Padmé admonished. Seriously, the man needed a vacation from work, although she wasn't sure he had ever been on a true vacation even though he did like to relax in the evenings.
"Fine", Vader replied as he tucked the pad into his robes. "Work can always wait a bit I suppose. Did the two of you get to catch up?"
"We did, Anakin, thank you for asking", Dormé replied politely.
"You're welcome", Vader said.
Threepio came out with dinner. Steaks and roasted root vegetables. It looked mouthwatering, especially since it wasn't a damned stew. Padmé picked up her fork and knife and began carving into the steak like she hadn't had a good meal in ages. Vader looked at her and chuckled.
"What's so funny?", Padmé asked in between bites.
"You. You jut appear to be so grateful that you're not eating a damned stew or ration bars", he replied. "Not that I blame you, I was getting a little tired of that myself, regardless of my prior life."
"Well, I suppose you're right on all counts", Padmé said. "What's on your agenda, Ani? Anything big?"
Vader sighed. "No, just administrative work, which I despise, but I suppose that's just part of running a galactic military. We're building an entire new fleet of Star Destroyers and we don't have enough personnel to crew them, which means we'll have to amp up our recruiting. People are still getting used to the new regime and there's a certain anxiety amongst the military aged males that's preventing them from signing up", he said.
Padmé thought for a moment. What Vader said made perfect sense, but suddenly she had an idea. "What if you opened recruiting up to women?", she asked. "I'm sure that there are plenty of young women that would find the life in the service to be ideal and adventurous. It'd be nice to see some women while we're galivanting across the stars anyway", she said as she took another bite of the medium rare steak. Damn it was good.
Vader cocked his head to the side. "Traditionally, the military even in the Republic era has been all male, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to at least look into that. It'd be a way to boost our numbers, but I wouldn't want the fleet to turn into a pleasure cruise with nothing but sex between crew members", he said.
"Oh, I'm sure there would be some of that, but women can be professional without the desire to have a bunch of sex with men", Padmé said.
"Ha!", Vader barked. "The two of you are contrary to that statement."
Both women blushed and looked down at their plates. Padmé supposed Vader was right.
"Not that there's anything wrong with that", Vader continued. "No, it's worth looking into. I'll bring it up at my next meeting with the fleet admirals. They'll balk at the suggestion, but it's my damned military, so if I want it to happen, it'll happen."
Padmé smiled at him. He certainly was more open to listening to her suggestions now and it warmed her heart. It was like they were becoming equals and that was exactly what was needed in a healthy relationship. She knew that there would be plenty of times, especially during sex, where there would be more aggressive and less gentle moments, but that was just part of it. He still was a Sith Lord and would be aggressive from time to time, but those were sometimes enjoyable experiences.
The group finished their dinner and they all retired from the night. Padmé went to the fresher in their bedchambers and stripped out of her dress and stepped into the large shower, enjoying the three shower heads beating water down on them. She was surprised when she felt strong arms around her.
"You just can't wait can you", Padmé said as she pressed herself up against Vader.
"Not when we haven't had sex for a day", he replied with a chuckle. He spun Padmé around and gave her a sensual kiss, causing her to moan. Damn he was always so good at this.
They spent time under the hot water merely stroking one another and kissing, getting themselves in the mood. Padmé felt herself become incredibly excited at his touch, his bold movements. It was certainly passionate and what she needed. Exactly what she needed.
"I think I'm ready", she whispered huskily.
Vader smirked and spun her around again, massaging her breasts, causing Padmé to groan. The hot water beating down on her and his rough hands on her erogenous zones was nearly over stimulating. His left hand traveled further down to her core and he slipped two fingers in causing her to gasp.
"Don't be a tease", she pleaded. "I'm already ready, oh gods, I'm already ready for you."
"Taking our time is more pleasurable", Vader said as he kissed the top of her head. "Especially when I'm about to do things to you that'll make you scream."
Gods dammit, that made her knees buckle. Whatever the hell he intended to do was doing to be fantastic.
After a few minutes of just exploring her core with his fingers he spun her around again and picked her up, pining her to the shower fall. Padmé gasped at the sudden aggressiveness and wrapped her legs around his waist, knowing exactly what was to come. The water beating down on her made the experience so erotic.
"Go on", she begged. "Do it."
Vader chucked and positioned himself as he slipped inside of her. She opened her mouth in shock and gave a throaty moan. This was exactly what she needed. After a moment of letting her get used to his size he began pumping in and out of her.
"Force, I don't know why, but you're always so gods damned tight", Vader grunted.
"I'm tight for you, Ani", she moaned. "My core is for you and you only."
That made Vader moan and she smiled wickedly that her words made him become more aroused. She was getting used to this game, and it was marvelous.
Vader increased the rate of his pumping and Padmé let out a cry that echoed in the massive shower. He was relentless with his thrusting, like a man that had been deprived for a very long time. This was what she wanted; this was what she needed.
She felt the urge to do something wicked and bit down on his lip hard. Vader stifled a scream and Padmé tasted a little blood. Damn she bit him roughly, but he had done so many rough things to her that she felt proud of herself. They began to intently make out as he continued his thrusting. He started hitting one of her most pleasurable spots and she arched her back and closed her eyes. She felt him grip her jaw roughly.
"Stay with me", he commanded.
"I forgot", she moaned. "You love looking into my pretty eyes while you take me." She opened her eye and looked into his. They were azure but had flecks of gold within them. He was on the verge of touching the darkness, but during their love making that was fine with her. She reached behind his head and pulled on his long locks of hair, making him chuckle.
"Someone's getting feisty", he said as he kept his hand firmly on her jaw.
"The feistier the better", Padmé said in between moans. "I think you and I deserve a bit of feistiness, after that hellish world."
"We do", he panted. She could tell he was close and so was she. The lack of sex for a day had been too long of a break, they were both in the need for stimulation and they were getting it now.
Padmé whimpered as he continued to take her. She felt herself approaching her orgasm and tightened her legs around his waist even more, feeling the need to have him deeper inside of her. "This is what I'm craving", she said. "I want you and only you."
She then let loose a scream as he bent his head down and bit into her collarbone.
"You'll get me", he rasped.
"Go on, make me cum, Ani", she pleaded.
"That's what I'm trying to do", he said through gritted teat. "Fucking cum my love."
Okay, that was hot and it sent her over the edge. She felt herself spasm and screamed loudly as she pulsed around him.
Vader let loose a yell as he finished inside of her, making a few last thrusts, making sure he was totally empty.
The couple stared at one another before they laughed and then gave each other short but passionate kisses.
Vader set her down and she braced herself against the shower wall, her legs feeling like rubber. "That was good, Ani. Thank you for that, we needed it."
He wrapped his arms around her. "We both did", he murmured into her hair.
They then began showering, soaping themselves up before rinsing off. Padmé fetched them towels and they dried off. Vader of course was done first and left to put on his sleeping pants. Padmé combed out her hair and then slipped on a nightgown and went to join her love. Vader was sitting on the couch and nursing a bourbon. Padmé poured herself a drink and joined him.
"To being back home", he cheered.
She smiled. "To being back home", she said, returning the cheer.
They clinked their glasses together and took a sip. Padmé switched on the holoprojector and the first thing that came on was a wicked looking race with strange contraptions.
"What's that?", she asked.
"It's called pod racing. It's a sport on Tatooine. The basics are that there are no rules, just whoever gets to the finish line first wins. It's a dangerous sport, one that requires skill and the ability to pilot", he said.
"Have you ever done it?", Padmé asked.
"Not until I was in my teens. I won a few times. I had always wanted to try it when I was young, but I didn't have the parts to build one. Then of course, I was abducted, but I managed to do it when I had time in between missions", he replied.
Padmé felt a short pain of guilt bringing it up.
"It's alright, Angel", Vader assured her. "Anyway, I had to build my own pod racer, but given that I have the ability to build machines and fix them, it wasn't a problem. It's a fun sport, if you're into a little danger that is."
Padmé nodded, completely enthralled with what she was witnessing. It looked terrifying and she winced as she saw a racer get pushed into a rocky outcropping. "I guess there really are no rules", she said as the pod racer exploded, likely killing the pilot.
"Nope, no rules whatsoever", Vader replied. "Anyway, it's a fun sport. We don't have to watch it if you don't want to."
"Maybe another time then", Padmé said as she saw another pod racer explode. Damn, Vader enjoyed danger, intense danger.
She switched the channel, and it was the news. "Do you mind if we watch this for a while?", she asked. "I haven't been keeping up with the news lately."
"Sure, I haven't either", he responded. "I get reports, but sometimes the reporters learn things faster than the military does."
The reporter was talking about an uprising on Aldeeran about the new Imperial rule. It seemed odd to Padmé as Aldeeran was a peaceful world full of pacifists. They never struck her as the type to revolt or cause mayhem.
"What will happen with them?", she asked.
Vader grunted. "As long as there're no strikes against the garrison there, nothing. The military, my military, isn't about slaughtering people for the hell of it."
"And if they do attack the garrison?", she inquired.
Vader shifted on the couch, almost as if he was uncomfortable answering. "Then the riots will be put down. It won't be a slaughter, but the aggressors will be arrested and charged with treason", he said. "It isn't something that I'm comfortable doing but attacking an Imperial garrison or hurting or killing an Imperial soldier cannot be tolerated no matter what world it's on, even if it's a core system", he replied.
Padmé nodded, somewhat saddened over the news. She was against war in general, but the more she was with Vader, the more she began to understand the necessity of maintaining the Empire, although that didn't mean she was sold about the new regime yet. She was sold on the man that ran it.
"Well, hopefully it doesn't come to that", Padmé said.
Vader nodded and remained quiet. Then the news shifted to another story, apparently there was a massive explosion on Mimban that killed many Imperial soldiers. The news was speculating that it was some type of fission bomb. Vader leaned closer to the holoprojector.
"Those bastards", he whispered. "This wasn't in any of my reports, it must've just happened."
This made Padmé even more nervous. Would he head off into danger yet again? She hated seeing him dive into danger like it was nothing, but she supposed that was merely his job. The news continued stating that the Mimbanese had broken through the lines and had pushed the Imperials back to their garrison. This wasn't good, it meant that the garrison would likely be overrun.
Vader growled and took a long drink, draining his glass before refilling it.
"I took three hundred meters of territory just for these cowards to use a weapon of mass destruction on my men", he said harshly. "That is distasteful. We could've bombarded their lines with turbolasers from orbit, but we chose not to, opting to go with a traditional ground combat approach, just for them to do this? No, this will have to be measured with equal force", he hissed.
Padmé just knew that the flecks of gold in his eyes had snuffed out the azure, probably leaving him with the volcano golden color of the Sith Lord. She damned herself for changing it to the news. She had wanted a peaceful evening with her fiancé, not for him to get riled up at seeing what he fought for on Mimban utterly annihilated. What a damned bitch this was.
"Will you have to go back?", she asked with a lump in her throat.
"I don't know", he mumbled. "I may just order a bombardment to prevent the garrison from being overrun and the remaining Imperials from being killed. There are already Star Destroyers in orbit, so it would just take a message to the Admiral that's managing the squadron."
"How much of the planet would you bombard?", she asked.
He leaned back and rubbed his face. "Mimban was a strategic target due to the rich resources in their mines. They also used to be allies with the Republic. I wouldn't want a planetary bombardment for that reason, so it would likely be concentrated on the forces that are surrounding the garrison. Does that bother you?", he asked.
She thought hard for a moment. War was war, and if the Mimbanese used a fission bomb, then they were opening themselves up for an equal response. "No", she said sullenly. "I suppose not."
"It's alright to tell me if it does, I'm not going to get upset at you", he said as he lightly touched her thigh. "It's just part of my job, Padmé."
"I know", she said as a tear ran down her face. She quickly wiped it off and hoped Vader didn't notice, but he did.
"Hey, come here", he said as he took her glass and set it on the caff table. "It's alright to have an opinion with me, and it's alright to be saddened by war."
That through Padmé for a loop. It was the most non Vader like thing that she had ever heard from him. When she first met him as Vader, he was all about fear and killing, now he was telling her that it was okay to be saddened by war? It was so gods damned confusing.
She looked at him with more tears in her eyes. "Can't you ever be consistent?", she demanded.
Vader was taken aback, even with the gold in his eyes. "What do you mean?", he asked sternly.
"One minute, you're a Sith Lord like on Kijimi, threatening to go berserk and kill every smuggler village. Now you're being soft and gentle, telling me that it's alright too be saddened by war? It's confusing to me, it makes me wonder which version of you I'm going to get", she stated. Tears were pouring out of her eyes.
"Padmé, you know that there are different versions of me. I can't help that. It's just how I react with the Force. I try and be calm and gentle around you, I really do. But sometimes you get to see me when I'm not calm or gentle and that's just who I am and who I'll be, at least for the perceivable future. Will that ever change? I don't know, but it's something that we'll have to work through together", he stated.
"Work through together? You mean ignoring me like on Kijimi when I questioned the Empire. Like when you told me to watch what I was saying on Dathomir. Like when you tried to play it off when you tortured and murdered Rush for merely being an idiot. Is that really working with me or is that you just hoping that you'll eventually break me down until I'm fine with how you act?", questioned.
It was a fair statement, Vader was a man that had many sides, and sides that he did apologize for, but they were still there. She was confused, not knowing if it would ever change. What in the hell was she supposed to think about that? Was he truly sorry when he went into a rage? Or when he would become frustrated with her when she questioned what the Empire really stood for.
Vader looked at her in shock, like he didn't know how to respond to that. He was obviously conflicted with her question which told her that he didn't know if he was doing that or not. That just made her even more worried, even more upset. Was he truly a man that she could live with? Dammit, why did this have to be so difficult? She loved him, she really did, but she was still frightened from him sometimes. The unknown especially frightened her.
"Padmé", he began. "I'm an Imperial and a Sith Lord. You've known this for a while now. You even suspected that I was a Sith when we were on Kashyyyk. There are certain ways that I act because of what I was molded to be. I can't change that; I don't know how to change that. But I'm not going to browbeat you into submission. Do I sometimes get irritated when you question the Empire? Yes, I do, because I fully believe in its mission to bring stability to the galaxy. The Republic was bloated, it was ineffective. The Empire is merely trying to correct that, to bring the people together instead of having arguments and debates that don't go anywhere. To get the people aligned with what is right, not what their self interests are. I do show mercy, at Killich, I could've ordered my Death Troopers to slaughter the smugglers, and I could've killed Sheila, but I didn't. I wanted to compromise so that there would be peace. Don't you see that?"
Damn, that was a good explanation. One that she couldn't ignore. It was difficult for her still, but the way he worded his thoughts made perfect sense to her. But there were still questions.
"The people of Aldeeran deserve to have their voices heard. I don't want them to turn violent, they've always been a peaceful culture", Padme said. "But at the same time, I understand their frustration over a new government that they don't agree with. It's like their rights were stripped from them and they no longer have a say, a voice in the galaxy."
"But Padmé, that's why we haven't disbanded the Senate. There still has to be representation for those planets, and that's where it's appropriately done. The Emperor rules over the Senate, I can't change that. No, he's not a benevolent ruler, he's a sick and evil man, one that I despise. But there's still a chance for this to work. There's still a chance for peace in the galaxy if we all just pull together and unit. But people in the Rebellion don't want that. I wouldn't be surprised if there were operatives in the Rebellion that were pushing for this revolt to happen. I wouldn't be surprised if the Mimbanese have Rebel operatives that helped them get a weapon like that", Vader said. "It's difficult to obtain order in the galaxy when there's a paramilitary group that's openly resisting."
"Like I was doing?", Padmé asked. "I was resisting, and according to your rules, I should've been locked away forever, or executed. But I wasn't because of your feelings for me. Why can't you have empathy for other people like you did for me?"
That struck a chord in Vader.
"Because I don't care about people the way I care about you", he snapped. "No, that isn't fair. That's beyond unfair, but I have cared about you ever since I met you. I don't have empathy for others, not in the way that you want me to at least. I'm a cold man, I have been, especially ever since I left Kashyyyk for my master to complete my transformation. You don't know what that was like. The nightmare you had when I was executing people was just a taste of what was forced upon me. Before I did that I had to suffer more, I had to endure more pain, more torture to the point where I was driven made with rage. I can't take that back."
"But there's good in you!", Padmé yelled. "I've felt it through our bond. I've seen it in your eyes, in your actions. There's still a part of you left in there that's just a scared little boy that doesn't want to do the things that your master has commanded!"
Vader shot to his feet and walked over to the window. His hands balled into fists. Dammit, he was angry now. He wasn't going to try and debate this with her any longer. She pushed him too far, too deep, and she was going to have to pay for it.
"Anakin, please don't turn away from me", Padmé pleaded. "Please don't close yourself off to me for stating a fact, or at least an interpretation of what I've felt. I can't take it when you close yourself off to me, it hurts more than you realize. I love you and I care about you so much that it hurts sometimes."
Vader stiffened even more, like each word she was saying was a dagger to his heart.
"Anakin, I don't know how to talk to you sometimes", Padmé cried. "I don't know how to express what I'm feeling in a way that won't make you angry. I can't take it when that happens. I just want to be able for us to talk, really talk without you becoming so angered that you can't even look at me."
Vader whirled around. "I can't take it either, Padmé. You may be right, there may still be good in me. A conflict even. But I don't know what to do about it. I can't turn to the light, not after everything I've done, not while my master rules over me. He would kill me for even considering such a notion and then find someone else to torment until they fall into the darkness. Don't you understand?", he asked, no, he pleaded.
Padmé sat back in shock at his words. He was right, there wasn't a way for him to change, not with that sick bastard ruling over the galaxy. Vader would always be a slave to the darkness in a way that only he could truly understand. There wasn't a solution for him, not now at last. Everything was heads down, falling fast through the air.
Making a decision, she got up and ran to him, wrapping her arms around him in a crushing hug, praying that he would return the embrace. He remained stiff for a moment, then he softened. He capitulated. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her hair.
"I am trying, my love. I'm trying with all my heart. There's just so much pain inside of me and I'm sorry that it causes pain inside of you", he whispered.
"It's okay", Padmé cried. "I'm sorry you're in so much pain. The dreams I've seen where you're a scared little boy, or an unloved teenager mixed with the man I knew on Kashyyyk just makes me hurt for you even more. I hate Palpatine for what he did to you."
"I hate him too, Angel", he murmured. "I hate him too."
They stayed like that for a long time, just holding one another, drawing comfort in each other's arms. There wasn't an immediate solution, but there was love between them both and that was what bound them together the most, making them inseparable from one another.
…
Vader woke early, leaving Padmé asleep in their bed. He quietly dressed himself and silently left the room. He took the staircase to the roof, he needed to think. Needed to meditate. Their argument the previous night had troubled him. Yes, there was a conflict inside of him, but he didn't know what to do, even when he had turned into Darth Vader, he still felt the conflict making the tasks that was commanded of him even more difficult.
He hated Sidious, he hated him with every fiber in his being. There wasn't a person alive that was eviler than him. His soul was nothing but darkness, hate and misery. He wanted to use that hate and misery to control the galaxy, to bend it to his will. Vader didn't have those aspirations, not publicly at least. Publicly he was forced to be the cold blooded and calculated killer that his master demanded of him. Fuck, if Sidious knew of the discussions that he had with Padmé, he would kill her right in front of him, which would push him into insanity.
Could he kill his master? No, he wasn't strong enough. Not yet at least. Sidious was just too powerful; he had learned things in the darkness that Vader didn't know if he would ever be able to learn no matter how many ancient texts that he learned. No matter how much he meditated on the powers that his master wielded.
But there was Padmé. He was to wed her and the natural course of their marriage would be to have children. Children that Sidious would want to bend to the darkness, making them evil from birth. That couldn't happen, not while he still had the spark of the light still within him. He couldn't let his own offspring suffer the way he did. No one should suffer the way he did.
However, there would be a price that he would have to pay. The Jedi still existed and even if he were to kill Sidious, the Jedi would demand justice for the atrocities that he had committed in his master's name. The people that he tortured, slaughtered, degraded. There wasn't a damned thing that he could do to atone for those actions that would convince the Jedi that he should be spared from damnation. He was stuck, stuck between two choices.
There was a solution. Break off his engagement to Padmé. Shelter her from the evil that was in his heart, in Sidious' heart. But doing that would break him even more. Ever since he met her, he wanted her, needed her. Losing her by ending their relationship would tear him apart in ways that he couldn't bear to think about.
What was he to do? Pretend that everything would be fine and have the natural course of action take place? Have Sidious torture his children? Torture Padmé by ripping her babies from her arms? No, she would despise him, hate him for not protecting them, and she would be right to do so.
Damn this galaxy and everything in it. He wished that he could take Padmé away and run from all this. Hide on a world where there would be no chance that Sidious would find him and force him to come back to the dark life that he was living. The true hell that he had been damned with ever since he was a terrified little boy. But was that truly an option? Could he hide from Sidious for that long to raise a family in peace? He didn't know if he could constantly shield himself for that long. He didn't know if he could shield his children either.
"Ani?"
Vader stiffened ever so slightly. "Yes, Angel", he said as he turned around.
His fiancé was clad in her robe. It was still dark outside and she must have woken, wondering where he was. She couldn't bear not to be with him even when she slept. What kind of love was that? It was pure love. Love that he so desperately craved, ever since his own mother had been murdered in front of him.
"I woke up and you were gone, I got worried", she said.
"Don't be worried, I'm still here", Vader said. "I'm sorry I left our bed; I just needed a moment of reflection."
Padmé looked down as if she had done something wrong.
"That doesn't mean I don't want your company", he said as he walked towards her. "Your presence is soothing; it brings me peace at times."
It really did. She was his Angel, the one that could bring him out of the darkness, at least for a little while.
She walked closer to him, looking unsure. He closed the distance and wrapped his arms around her. "Don't worry, my Angel. I will never be upset for you seeking me out", he whispered.
He felt her nuzzle his chest and placed his hand at the back of her head, holding her tight. He couldn't be without her, no matter what his fears were. There had to be a way for them to be together, to raise a family where their children would remain pure. Of that he was certain, he would find a way.
"You're my life", she whispered. "You're the only man I've ever loved."
Vader squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as the words speared into his heart. "You're the only one that I've ever loved", he whispered back. "The only one that's ever made me feel these emotions, and I thank you for that. I truly do."
She sniffled.
"Don't cry, my Angel. Everything will be alright. I promise. I don't know how I'll do it, but I will. I have to", he said. "There are things that I want to do to ensure that, but I don't know if I'm strong enough. If I have the power. But I will find a way."
"I don't know what you mean", she said, still burring her face into his chest.
"I know you don't, I can't tell you just yet. Your thoughts have to be guarded from the Emperor, but once I figure out how to truly shield your mind, I'll tell you", he promised. "Do you believe that?"
"I do", she said.
"Then don't be upset. Everything will be alright in the end", he said as he tightened his hold over her.
"Will it be dangerous for you?", she asked.
Vader bit his lip. Of course it would be dangerous. It would be the most dangerous thing he would ever do, it might even cost him his life.
"Yes, but that's a risk that I will need to take", he said. He didn't want to hurt her or worry her, but he couldn't lie to her. He couldn't break his promises and be unfaithful in his words. That would tear them apart in ways that he couldn't imagine.
"Alright", she said. "I suppose that I'll just have to wait until you can share."
"It won't be too long, Angel", he replied.
…
When they reached the Senate, Vader had to quickly say goodbye to Padmé. He had to report to Sidious of the results on Kijimi. He prayed that the results that he achieved would be pleasing to his master or there would be pain. Immense pain.
He stalked through the bowels of the Senate, terrifying all that he walked past. He felt himself truly embracing the darkness, discarding the light as if his master sensed it, he would be truly punished. He felt his rage building, his hate, his lust for blood. This would be the true representation of a Sith Lord. A cold monster.
Once he reached the doors to the Emperor's throne room, he pushed them open and walked inside, kneeling in front of his master in servitude.
"Rise my apprentice", Sidious commanded.
"Yes, master", Vader replied.
"Report on the results of your journey to Kijimi", Sidious commanded.
"Yes, master. We achieved a treaty. They will have access to the spaceport and we will double the garrison. There will be a three percent tax on all imports and exports along with a ninety million credit front to expand their operations", Vader replied.
Sidious was silent for a moment.
"My dear apprentice, have you grown soft?", Sidious asked.
Vader frowned. This was going in a direction that he would not be able to recover from, not when his master spoke like this.
"I am sorry, master, I do not know of what you speak of", Vader replied.
"That's because your heart has grown soft. The Vader that was my apprentice not too long ago would have merely annihilated the smugglers, but you chose to strike a generous deal with them', Sidious hissed.
"Master, I did what was within my authority to do so. The planet is still ours, and we will make profit off of the smuggling operations on Kijimi. There will be no conflict", Vader said.
"Conflict should be in your very soul!", Sidious roared. "You should have killed each and every one of them, murdered them in the coldest way possible, not give them terms that will cost the Empire more resources. This is just like your failure on Mimban."
"My failure on Mimban?", Vader asked. "Master, I took three hundred meters, more than has ever been taken in a single day during that blasted far. I don't think that I a failrure."
It wasn't a failure, it had been a success. He had no way of knowing that the Mimbanese would use a fission bomb to break through the Imperial lines. There was no evidence of such a bomb when he was there.
"No, my apprentice, it was a failure. No, we'll have to turn the world into slag, destroying them out right", Sidious replied. "That will be their punishment for daring to defy our tule."
"Bombardments from orbit?", Vader asked.
Sidious nodded and cackled. "More like turbolasers and fusion bombs over their populated zone", he said. What? There was way he could give that order, no matter how much he wanted to avoid a punishment from Sidious.
"That would be an unusual strategy, master. The terrifying thing is that the populace of the galaxy will not longer be on our side if we do this. They will view our actions as atrocities and detach themselves from Empire.", Vader said.
"Fool!", Sidious shouted. "You are weak in thinking that the galaxy will not bend to our knees. I believe you need some more training on the concept of inflicting fear. First, I'll start with you!"
Suddenly, blue lightning bolts erupted from Sidious' hand. Vader was thrown back at least fifteen feet. He Looked up and Sidious was still on the attack. He threw another wave of the blue lightning at Vader who resisted the urge to cry out at the considerable pain that was being inflicted upon him.
"Apparently I didn't fuck the good from your heart, but that will b e corrected today", Sidious sneered. "What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking of the Empire", Vader said through gritted teeth. "I always think of the Empire, master. Always about your best wishes. That's all I have done, I swear."
"Get up", Sidious command.
"Yes, master", Vader replied. He shakily stood.
"While my obvious preference would've been for you to slaughter those smugglers on Kijimi, the deal you brokered may be sufficient, if they abide by the terms. If not, you are to turn their bases into ash. Am I understood?", Sidious demanded.
"I understand, master", Vader said breathlessly.
"Now, when will you wed your fiancé?", Sidious sneered.
Shit, this is exactly what he had been worried about. Sidious taking too much of an interest in his relationship with Padmé. There was nothing he could do but answer.
"We have yet to set a date, master", Vader replied, still recovering from the blistering lightning attack.
"Then set one", Sidious hissed. "This marriage is by mu command, so you will do as I say and wed the bitch, then bed her so you may have children."
Children. He wants the children. Vader felt the urge to vomit but kept himself from doing so.
"I will set a date, master", Vader replied. "I will set one soon."
"Good, now get out", Sidious commanded.
"Yes, master", Vader said as he turned to leave. He didn't look back, he merely marched out of the throne room with a pit of dread in his stomach. This was getting to be worse than he thought.
…
Padmé was busy catching up on reports due to her absence from her latest adventure. There was much work to do in only a short amount of time to do it, but she felt confident in her abilities to get it done. She had been a senator for six years now, she knew how to do her job and do it well. There would be nothing that would stop her from accomplishing her task.
There was some interesting reports that she couldn't quite make sense of. Movements of supplies to various worlds in the outer rim. Was the Empire staging for more invasions of outer rim planets? If so, when? While the base on Tatooine had been attacked, the Rebellion had been repelled, rendering the efforts useless. The Empire was simply too strong, too powerful. Not even the best fighters of the Rebellion would be able to stop their advancements across the galaxy. The entire known galaxy would be under the rule of Palpatine in a year, maybe less.
That notion made Padmé sick, but she pressed on, reviewing the data that she needed to and setting her personal feelings aside for the moment. Fortunately, Naboo had been spared from Imperial occupation due to their acceptance of the regime. The Queen had been worried about her people, which she was correct in doing so. It had taken time for Naboo to recover from the invasion of the Trade Federation and it wouldn't be able to withstand a military occupation of the Empire, no matter if it was a violent occupation or not. The Nubian's desired freedom to embrace their history, their culture, and that would be tainted with the Empire's presence.
"Dormé, can you please give Padmé and I a moment alone?"
"Yes, Milord of course."
Padmé's head snapped up to see Vader standing in her office. He appeared as though he was in pain. She quickly got up and went to him as he pushed his hood back.
"Ani", she whispered. "You look like you're in agony. What happened?"
Vader chuckled darkly. "The Emperor was not pleased with my results on Kijimi. He would have preferred if I had destroyed the smuggler villages, so I was punished for affronting him", he said.
"Punished? How?", Padmé asked with panic in her tone.
"He uses a dark power which shoots electricity from his hands. It's quite painful, but I'll be alright. I just need time to recover", Vader said weakly.
Padmé took his hand and led him to the chairs in front of her desk. They sat down and she kept holding his hand, not daring to let go lest she lost him. How could Palpatine do this to him? She thought that Vader had full authority to handle the situation the way he saw fit, but apparently the Emperor had other ideas. The fact that he was punished so heartly frightened her for him.
"You came here for another reason too, I can feel it", Padmé said.
Vader nodded. "The Emperor has commanded that we set a date for our wedding."
Padmé swallowed. What business was it of Palpatine to command such a thing? They were two people, two people who were in love. That was none of his concern, regardless of if he had commanded Vader to ask for her hand in marriage. If Vader had done so without the command, she still would have said yes. She only said yes because she loved him.
"I mean, of course we need to set a date, but that's of our choosing, isn't it?", she asked.
"It is, but it's also his command", Vader said. "It would be wise of us to heed his commands, there would be less pain if we did."
"Pain for who?", Padmé asked, searching his eyes.
"Pain for me", he replied with a noticeable shiver.
Gods damn Palpatine. She wasn't about to see her fiancé tortured anymore, this one time was terrifying, and she could tell from his face and her bond that he was still in an immense amount of pain.
"Then we'll set a date", Padmé whispered. "But know this, Ani. I'm doing this because I want to be married to you, not because of a command. He will never be able to command my heart, as it belongs to you."
Vader smiled sadly at her. "My heart belongs to you, Angel", he whispered.
They leaned across the chairs and shared a tender kiss, sealing their fates as a couple that was to be wed because they were in love.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know there was some drama in it, but that's for plot development. Anyway, if you like what you've read, please feel free to drop a review and follow!