A/N: I'm pretty sure you can guess what the main warning for this chapter would be, based on the last sentence of the last chapter. I know this one is long but I couldn't figure out a good place to break it up evenly.
Kagome was busy screaming and thrashing as best as she could, crying out for Inuyasha at the top of her lungs, after the other one made the announcement they were all going to have their way with her. She felt sheer terror hit her, for she was tied up and helpless. Even so, she wasn't going to just give in without a fight, no matter how futile her efforts would be. So she struggled as hard as she could, despite being roped up and held down. The one called Mukotsu, that was putting on a show of jerking off in front of her, was right there in front of her face. Keeping her eyes shut, she refused to look at him. His nasty junk was the last thing she wanted to see.
Her throat was raw from screaming, but that only seemed to amuse the soldiers circled around her. They were cheering and laughing, shouting over who would get to go next. Mukotsu took a step closer to her, his gross mouth in a wide grin, showing the huge gaps between his uneven teeth. "And now!" he announced loudly, making the random shouting die down a bit. "I've always wanted a woman of my own. Never thought I'd find such a pretty one either. I can't make any promises that she will still be as pretty by the time I'm done with her, though." He let out a long laugh, which also made the surrounding soldiers laugh as well.
"Look at me, girl!" Mukotsu commanded, turning his attention back to Kagome, who was a sobbing mess. He frowned when she refused to obey his command. It angered him. Taking another step closer, he grabbed her by the hair at the back of her head and forced her to raise her face to him. "I said, look at me!"
Kagome glared up at him, tears pricking her eyes at the sharp pain of having her hair yanked like that. As hideous as his face was, she made herself stare at him, for she didn't want to see any other exposed parts of his body.
Squinty eyes blinked back at her, as he scowled at the look on her face. "Do I disgust you that much? Maybe I should have Ginta here gouge your eyes out for me first. Although, then you wouldn't be able to watch and see what we have planned for that half-breed here. Maybe it's better for you to just be on all fours when I take you so I don't have to look at that ugly expression. You're just like every other woman," Mukotsu spat with disgust. "Get down."
Kagome screamed out Inuyasha's name again as she managed to catch herself with her fists as she fell forward onto the hard-packed earth, begging for help. One of the soldiers standing behind him laughed and reached over to poke him with the end of his spear. "The dog half-breed is going to have to watch his whore get fucked like a dog. Fitting, isn't it?" he cackled loudly and leaned in down towards Inuyasha. "She's nothing but a dog's whore." He laughed again before pausing and frowning deep. "You all hear something? Quiet!"
There was a good bit of commotion just from the excitement of capturing the pair, so it took a moment for the sea of voices to die down a bit. Mukotsu had paused from trying to rile everybody up, and turned to face the captive Inuyasha. Even Kagome, sensing that something was going on, managed to catch her breath and glance up between two hiccuped sobs.
Everybody was staring at Inuyasha, who was still kneeling with his head hanging forward. His posture had changed however, and Kagome could see the tenseness that was forming. It took a moment for her ears to pick it up, but she swore she heard growling. The sound of the growl quickly began to intensify. A split second later, there was a loud snap as Inuyasha broke free of his restraints with one easy movement and thrust his clawed hand straight through the torso of the nearest soldier, the one that had been leaning down towards him mere seconds ago.
As the newly dead man dropped down to the ground in a pool of blood, there was a sudden uproar as everybody began to realize just what had happened. In complete shock, Kagome just sat there with her mouth open, staring at Inuyasha. She only caught a split second look at his face, but it was enough for her to tell she could hardly recognize him.
His pretty golden eyes that she loved to stare into had turned completely bright blood red, and large jagged purple stripes had appeared on each cheek. Even his fangs had enlarged quite a bit, revealed by the twisted snarl that his mouth was in. Being so in tune to his youki, she could sense a significant difference in the way it felt and was flaring up right now.
"Get your weapons ready, now! Seize him!" Mukotsu yelled at the top of his lungs, as he hurriedly grabbed for the front of his hakama in an attempt to pull them up, while his spare hand reached into his sleeve to retrieve some sort of smoke bomb. He promptly flung it straight at Inuyasha, where it erupted into a small explosion, but it was all too slow. Before it had hit the ground where he was standing, Inuyasha had lurched forward, and in the blink of an eye, Mukotsu's head rolled across the ground right in front of Kagome.
Immediately, mass chaos broke out, as the soldiers grabbed their weapons, in effort to swarm Inuyasha. It took Kagome a moment to even process what had just happened, she was in so much shock. She simply sat there with eyes wide as she stared at the severed head with wide unseeing eyes that was only a few feet away.
Although there were dozens or hundreds of soldiers, and only one violently rampaging hanyou, if that was what he even was anymore, numbers were quickly proving to not be enough. The red of Inuyasha's fire rat robe was a mere blur, as he cut through the lines of soldiers, using his razor sharp claws to take them all down. Kagome was now quaking with terror, forgotten in the turmoil, so she crawled on all fours towards a wagon, where she sought shelter underneath.
All around her, screaming soldiers did their best to attempt to fight back against Inuyasha, but he was far too fast and powerful. The soldiers quickly went from offense to defense, turning tail to run off while Inuyasha continued slaughtering them all. There were limbs and heads everywhere, and the scent of blood was so think in the air, that it actually made Kagome throw up. She was sobbing, not just from the entire ordeal from earlier, but from the massacre that was taking place around her.
Inuyasha crouched down on all fours, snarling loudly, before launching himself forward at a soldier on a horse that was galloping towards him. With both clawed hands, he shredded the man's chest wide open and gouged out the throat of the horse, sending the two of them down in a bloody pile. His arms were completely soaked in blood, almost up to his shoulders at this point, having slaughtered so many living things. The scent of all the blood was driving him completely wild, fueling his desire to kill everything in sight.
His entire body was burning hot, as if his blood was on fire from his toes to his ears. A fine sheen of sweat coated his skin, keeping the blood from drying, and making him feel hot and stuffy inside his fire rat robe. There was no time to stop and undress, not when there was still so much prey around.
Sudden movement off to the far right caught his eye, and he twirled around mid-leap, to charge at the small group that was throwing spears at his direction. He leapt up and down onto the one in the middle, snapping his neck upon impact before turning to take out the two soldiers to his left with his claws. As the other two screamed and ran off, Inuyasha grinned and leapt up to land in front of them to cut them off. The blood of two more men stained his claws as they met their end when he disemboweled them.
As soon as he slayed the small group, he found himself engaging in battle with another opponent. Although this man was alone, he was much stronger than the other soldiers he had taken down. He looked distinctly different as well, with his hair spiked up and large green stripes on his face. Each of his hands was adorned with blades, far longer than Inuyasha's claws. The man was shouting at him, but Inuyasha could barely make out what he was saying, as the pressure of his blood was making his head pound.
The other man's claws or blades weren't just for show, and he even managed to get a good long swipe in at Inuyasha's chest, as they traded blows, shredding open the fire rat robe along with the flesh underneath. He felt no pain though, only fury at being caught off guard. With a most vicious snarl, he moved in close, taking more damage from the steel blades before he managed to slice the man's throat open from ear to ear, nearly decapitating him.
Taking a moment to catch his breath, for all the adrenaline was making his heart and lungs race unnaturally fast, Inuyasha took a moment to survey the landscape, looking for any sign of life that needed to be put to an end. Killing had never felt so wonderful and pleasurable before, and it was all he wanted to do.
Something hit Kagome in the eyelid, as she was laying in the fetal position, eyes tightly shut and hands on her ears, in attempt to drown out the horrifying sounds of what was going on all around her. When it hit her again, she cracked her eyes, blinking when she saw something tiny jump in front of her face. It was that damn flea that liked to show up from time to time.
"Kagome!" a thin voice piped, as he leapt up again, waving all six limbs frantically. "You need to stop Inuyasha!"
"How do I stop him? What the hell even happened to him anyway?" Kagome managed to gasp out, as her hyperventilating had died down a bit from her laying there. Her eyes darted to the battlefield that the village had become. There were far fewer alive soldiers now, and she could hear their horrible, guttural screams in the distance.
"His youkai blood has fully taken over," Myoga explained. "It can happen to a hanyou, in times of life or death situations. The demon blood takes over the human blood for self-preservation."
"We were both chained up and the soldiers were threatening to kill us both," Kagome informed him. "But he didn't change into…that form…until this creepy man called Mukotsu was getting ready to rape me. Then Inuyasha just snapped…and…"
Myoga blinked at the girl, as it all made sense to him now. The two of them hadn't become a mated pair quite yet, but it was very likely that it would happen someday, if Inuyasha's blood reacted in such a way from his woman being in danger. "I see. Well, it's extremely urgent that you get him to transform back to his usual self. I assume he did not have Tessaiga on him when he turned?"
Kagome blinked, as she tried to recall the image in her mind, of her love sitting there all battered and broken. "I…I don't think so…I wasn't exactly looking to see if his sword was on him though. It wasn't exactly my biggest concern at the time. Why does it even matter, anyway?"
"Tessaiga is the key to bringing him back to a hanyou again. Get the sword and the sheath to him and that will help bring him out of this state. The longer he remains like this, the more danger he is in of losing himself to his youkai blood completely. His mind and body won't be able to sustain that state forever and it will eventually break him. The body of a hanyou simply can not handle the blood of a full youkai, no matter how strong they may be," Myoga informed her.
"Oh, that's fucking great," Kagome mumbled. She turned her head again, trying to look around and see if there was any danger, but she mostly just saw mutilated bodies, which instantly made her sick. Torn between curling up in a ball to die and not have to face the carnage, and forcing herself out there to find her boyfriend's sword so that she may save him from himself, she chose the latter. There was no way that she would be able to just sit idly by, when he needed her help so urgently.
Having absolutely no idea where to look, Kagome just scurried around, doing her best not to get close to the dead bodies, which was almost impossible. She felt so sick, and was having a near impossible time keeping it down. How was she supposed to find one sword in all of this mess? At least the sword was basically useless in its untransformed state, so it was quite unlikely that a soldier had carried it with them in hopes of using it. Most likely it was left sitting around somewhere.
"To the left!" Myoga shouted, as he bounced on her shoulder. The flea sensed the youkai pulse coming from an open shed. With her hand clapped firmly over her mouth, Kagome stumbled to her left, following the flea's orders, until she was under the roof of the building. She found the sword still in its sheath, propped in a corner, so she grabbed it and hurried out. "Now find Inuyasha and give it to him," the flea ordered, as if it were that easy.
Kagome glanced around, not seeing anybody alive within line of sight. There was screaming in the distance, and she could detect Inuyasha's youkai in that same direction, so she started to run towards it, as she was being reminded once again by the flea that time was of the essence. She was still quite terrified though, because with Inuyasha being possessed by his youkai side, he might not recognize her and attack her too. Perhaps she could just get close and throw the sword at him?
The screaming came to a sudden stop. Inuyasha's youkai was rapidly getting stronger, so most likely they were heading towards each other. Kagome swallowed hard, eyes darting back and forth rapidly to scan the landscape. As she came around a corner, she was greeted by the sight of her boyfriend standing in the midst of three dead soldiers, their blood dripping from his claws.
As she stopped short, eyes wide with terror, Inuyasha whirled around to face her, his face twisted in a nasty snarl. Then he pounced straight at her. Kagome shrieked as she was knocked backwards, flat on her back, from the impact of her larger, heavier boyfriend. He had grabbed her shoulders and went down with her, pinning her on her back.
"Inuyasha, it's me!" Kagome cried out, her own eyes wide as she stared into Inuyasha's, which were solid red with a tiny turquoise pupil. His mouth was open and fangs bared at her, as he growled lowly. It was like he didn't recognize her, or even see her, but he hadn't attacked her upon impact. Growling loudly, his nose twitched as he lowered his head, burying his nose against the side of her neck.
"It's me, Inuyasha. It's Kagome," she whispered. Right now her heart was racing a mile a minute, for she had no idea if he was going to suddenly flip and tear her throat out. Her head was pushed back as he pressed his face against her neck, sniffing her loudly, as his hands continued to pin her arms to the ground. Tessaiga was still in her hand at least, but she couldn't move her arm, so she was currently helpless.
A strangled cry escaped Kagome's mouth when she felt a sudden sharp prick on her neck, along with a good amount of pressure. She automatically tried to struggle, but Inuyasha was too strong. Her eyes were wide as she realized that he had bitten her neck and his fangs had pierced her skin. "Inuyasha, what are you doing?" she cried out, her voice shaky, as she tried to push him off to no avail.
The only response Kagome got was a low growl, as he pinned her down with his fangs at her neck. Afraid to move, for that would just injure her further, Kagome lay there as still as could be, trying to ignore the bit of pain. When Inuyasha let go of her hand that held Tessaiga, as he moved to roughly grab at her breast, she seized the opportunity to quickly slam the sword down onto his back.
Tessaiga pulsed when it came into contact with Inuyasha, and he pulled away from Kagome's neck, staring at her in confusion. The red in his eyes was slowly fading, as they turned back to their normal color. She was glad to see that the sword was able to reverse his transformation just from touching him. Thankfully the flea had been right.
Inuyasha was rapidly becoming a mental wreck, as he realized he had absolutely no memory of what had just happened. It was like he had blacked out, and he could vaguely remember being tied up and beaten in front of his girlfriend. She was laying beneath him, with blood smeared on her neck, and he could taste her blood in his mouth.
The scent of blood overwhelmed his nostrils, and his heart all but stopped when he saw how soaked his hands and forearms were, for he couldn't even see his skin tone. Blood was all around them, and as his gaze moved from Kagome to his surroundings, he was struck by horror at the sight of the piles of mutilated bodies.
Glancing from his dangerously clawed hands to all of the bodies, Inuyasha began to panic, as he realized he was very likely the one responsible for the slaughter. "What…happened…?" he cried out, leaping away from Kagome as if she stung him. His mind started to spin, and he felt like vomiting right then and there, out of sheer disgust. With his body reverting back to it's regular hanyou state, he was starting to feel the agony from the intensity of his numerous wounds.
Kagome had slowly pushed herself to sit upright, putting a hand to her neck, making sure she wasn't bleeding too bad. Poor Inuyasha had recoiled from her, and was crouched down, shaking like a terrified cornered animal. He looked horrified, and she knew that he didn't have any recollection of what just happened.
"Did I do this? Stay right there!" Inuyasha pleaded with her, backing up a foot when she tried to get to her feet. "Stay away from me right now!"
"It's ok, Inuyasha, you transformed into a full youkai. I brought you back with Tessaiga. According to Myoga, it was needed to make you turn back to normal again, and it worked as soon as you touched it. Here, take your sword," Kagome cautiously pushed the sword along the ground, to give it back to Inuyasha, who snatched it up and secured it on his hip.
"What did I do?" Inuyasha's voice was breaking, as he stared at his claws again, before frantically trying to wipe his hands off on his hakama. They were just as blood stained, so it did absolutely nothing. "I did this, didn't I?"
"Yes," Kagome answered quietly, which made him buck a bit in horror.
"But why? Why the fuck would I go crazy and kill everybody like that?" Inuyasha's face was twisted a bit as he gave Kagome an agonized look. "Why? What the fuck is wrong with me?"
"You were trying to protect me, I think," Kagome began, doing her best to keep her voice steady to calm him down. "We were tied up in front of each other, and the bad guys started talking about taking turns having their way with me. Then the creepy one that looked like a toad dropped his pants in front of me and that's when you flipped and turned youkai. You broke free a second later…"
Inuyasha sucked his breath in, snapping his head to stare hard at Kagome. He had a look of pure terror on his face, and shifted as if he wanted to get closer to her, but instead froze up. "Did they…did they do anything to you?"
Kagome shook her head. "They didn't touch me. You transformed just in time, so they all went to fight you and take you down again, and just forgot about me. I crawled away to hide."
That brought some comfort to Inuyasha, but not enough to overcome the horror at his actions. In a daze, he managed to get to his feet. "I need to go. I need to just go." He was gone in an instant, doing his best to leap from building to building, to stay off of the ground. All Kagome could do was stare at his retreating figure, as she dropped her head in her hands and burst into sobs.
That was how Sango discovered the poor girl, when she arrived on Kirara's back a while later. "Kagome!" the slayer cried out, as she tumbled off of the giant cat, dropping down next to her. "Kagome, what happened here?"
Kagome lifted her head, wiping her eyes a bit, as she blinked at the brown eyed girl. "Inuyasha turned full demon and killed them. I had been captured to, and they were all planning to rape me. Which is what made him turn and then he killed them all."
"What?" Sango exclaimed loudly, lifting her head to glance all around. "Where is he?"
"He ran off," Kagome cried. "He's a wreck right now and he said he just needed to go. I don't know what to do!"
"Shhh," Sango comforted her, pulling her friend close so she could lean onto her and cry. "You're ok now. Just let it go. We can go find Inuyasha in a little bit."
"What if he never comes back?" Kagome wailed.
Sango stroked her hair and rested her chin on her head. "I'm sure he will come back. He probably needs to be alone for a little while. Let's give him a breather right now and then we can go find him, ok?"
Kagome leaned against her friend for a bit, letting her tears run their course. "What happened to you? Did they do this to you when you were held hostage?"
"No. We were ok for the most part when Inuyasha rescued us, but as we flew away on Kirara, they sent some sort of explosion up at us, and we got hit with it, which left all these scratches everywhere," Sango explained. "Miroku tried to suck it all up, but they also released some more venomous wasps, which he didn't see, due to the cloud from the explosion. So he's back at the cave, unable to get up and around. I got worried when you didn't return after a bit, so I headed out to look for you."
"Let's go back to the cave," Kagome's lip quivered. "I'll take care of Miroku real quick. I need to do something useful right now. Then we need to track Inuyasha down."
"Where do you think he could have gone?" Sango asked. Although she was in far worse physical condition, she was the one to get to her feet and help Kagome up.
Kagome thought for a second, biting her lip as she tried to imagine what he would have done. "Probably somewhere near water to wash up."
That was exactly where she found him a little later, after a quick run back to the cave via Kirara to heal Miroku. Her distraught boyfriend was still frantically scrubbing his robe and himself raw as he stood in the stream, trying to get every last bit of blood off. "Please just leave me be right now," his tone was abrupt, as she tried to approach him. So she did, turning back to go to Kirara, who was waiting some distance away.
Inuyasha had taken a significant amount of damage as well, as was evident on his back and arms. There were a lot of huge gashes and purplish bruises mottling his skin. He wasn't going to let her near him to heal them, and it broke her heart to have to see him like that.
The next month was tough on them all. Inuyasha had completely withdrawn from the others, even though he continued on as part of the group physically. He mostly kept to himself, hardly saying a word to anybody else, not even Kagome. All he did was follow along, taking part in the necessary battles whenever they found a shard, when needed. He scarcely ate anything at all, much to their concern. The troubled hanyou was starting to look worse, and it was more than Kagome could bear.
After a long, tiring day on the road, they decided to stop early and set up camp. They had enough preserved meat to last another meal, so there was no need to hunt or fish right now. Once they stopped, Inuyasha continued wandering off, muttering something about needing to take a bath. He had been doing that much more frequently in the past month, as it had become more of a psychological thing.
Sango had lay down in the shade of a large tree, reclining against Kirara's furry side. Kagome glanced between her two friends, who had a bit of tension between themselves as well, and the back of Inuyasha's retreating head. "Hey, Sango, I'm going to go follow Inuyasha down to the lake or wherever he's going to take a bath. I might be back right away or might stay with him for a while. Hopefully I can get through to him, if I can get him to talk to me. Can you please make sure that Miroku doesn't try to wander that way?"
"I got your back," Sango affirmed, as the girls ignored the monk's protests at how he would never do such a thing. "If the monk tries to leave camp, I'll knock him out with Hiraikotsu. Kirara, keep an eye on him as well. Good luck, Kagome."
Kagome gave her friend a sad smile and hurried after Inuyasha, who was moving rather rapidly. She didn't need to actually see him to know where he was, but she she was just in a rush to get to him and try to see if he would actually talk to her.
"Mind if I join you?" Kagome asked, as she stood at the water's edge. Inuyasha was already in the stream bathing, his clothes discarded in a heap on a flat, dry boulder.
Inuyasha turned to glance up at her, his eyes a bit dull. "Course not," was his short reply.
Kagome undid her kimono and slipped her undergarments off, watching him, and noticing that he kept glancing her way as she undressed. Perhaps he was going to be more receptive than he had been for the past month, so she started to get her hopes up. The sun was hot on her bare skin, and the water nice and cool, as she slowly waded in until she was a couple feet from him, stopping about waist deep.
There was a boulder in the water, which Inuyasha was sitting on, for he was just below eye level to her. Rather than try to join him, she stood there watching him wash off for a moment before he silently passed the washcloth to her. Kagome took it and soaked it in the refreshing stream, before slowly caressing her skin with it. The movement caught Inuyasha's attention, and he stared at her body, as she passed the washcloth over her bare torso, the water running down her curves in tiny streams.
"You've been so stressed out all month long," Kagome began, unsure of how to approach the situation. Despite how their relationship had evolved after arriving in the past, it had taken a sudden turn south, after the day he transformed. It was so hard to talk to him again, even more so than it had ever been in the past, which was technically the far off future…
Inuyasha snorted at that. "Stressed. You fucking think?"
"Yeah, I know it's stating the obvious," Kagome lamented.
"I have never been so stressed in my entire fucking life," Inuyasha told her, after a moment's silence. He was back to staring down at the water in front of him, glancing up only now and then. "I'm so stressed, my head feels like it's going to explode, constantly. I can hardly even sleep. It never fucking ends. All I can think about is what I did, and nothing I do will make it go away."
Kagome felt a pang in her heart as she gazed at him. She hated seeing him so distraught, and wished she could take away all of his stress for him. "I'm not sure if there is anything that you can do, but you can always just talk to me. Usually that helps a lot, just having somebody to talk to and confide in."
"What's the point?" Inuyasha asked sullenly. "I just want to be alone."
Kagome felt her heart break, as he literally just shrugged off her efforts, and bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears. She failed miserably and choked out a sob, covering her face with her hands as she whirled around to storm out of the stream.
Inuyasha's eyes went wide immediately, and he leapt up from the boulder he had been sitting on. He was behind Kagome in a split second, wrapping his arms around her from behind to stop her from racing off. "Let go of me!" she tried to snap at him through her tears. "You said you wanted to be alone, so let go! I've been alone for the past month pretty much, so I'm glad you finally got the balls to come out and say it!"
"No! I didn't mean that! I didn't mean I want you to leave! I don't know what I was saying or why I said that. I didn't mean it that literally!" Inuyasha pleaded. He was angry with himself, not just for what he had done a month ago, but for realizing the effect he had been having on his girlfriend. He felt awful as he held her from behind, feeling her body shake as she cried.
"I'm sorry," Kagome mumbled, taking a shaky breath. She had stopped trying to pull away and allowed herself to lean back against his chest. "I know you've had a way harder time this past month than I have. I just want to be able to be there for you, so I can help you in any way that I can, but you've done nothing but ignore me and shun me for the past month. I know you've been having a very hard time dealing with what happened that day, but whenever I try to comfort you or show that I care, you instantly just push me away and don't give me the slightest chance to try and be there for you. Maybe you haven't noticed, but it kills me to see you like that. The constant rejection is definitely taking its toll on me, too."
Inuyasha just stood there silently for a moment, playing her words over in his head. If he thought he felt as low as dirt before, he felt a hundred times worse now. Unsure of where to even begin, he felt frozen, but knew that he had to say something, at least. "I'm sorry for not noticing sooner. I am noticing now and I hope it's not too late. We both have a lot of issues that we've been dealing with it seems."
"That's putting it mildly," Kagome said, managing to choke out a short laugh. She pulled his hands down so she could take a step and turn to face him. "Look, I didn't mean to turn into some kind of drama queen here. I just feel like I'm hitting my breaking point, with you always pushing me away."
"I wasn't intentionally pushing you away," Inuyasha told her. He reached up and wiped her tears away with the back of his knuckle. "I've had a really hard time dealing with everything this past month. Just knowing everything I've done, even though I wasn't myself at the time, has literally been eating away at me. I just don't know how to come to terms with it, and was so preoccupied with figuring it out on my own, I guess."
"Well, you're not alone!" Kagome exclaimed. "That's the whole point of being in a relationship with somebody! You don't have to deal with your troubles all by yourself! If you just keep it all bottled up inside, you're going to keep on dwelling on the same thing over and over again and you won't get anywhere. So please, just talk to me and let me do what I can. For both of our sakes. Tell me what thoughts you have that bother you the most."
Inuyasha gazed down at her silently. It was going to be extremely difficult for him to talk, but he knew that she was right, and that it had to happen. He couldn't keep going on like this and pushing her away, to the point of no return. It took him a few long moments to try and collect his thoughts, but he finally started to speak. "I feel like a monster. I did all of that with my bare hands. I am a monster. When I look at my claws, it's like I can still see all that blood on them."
He held a clawed hand up for them both to see. "I haven't stopped beating myself up ever since I came back to my usual self and I can't get over what I've done. Do you have any idea how much I hate myself? I can still see and smell it all, and it's like I can still see red everywhere I look."
Kagome took his hand and kissed his knuckles, letting her fingertips trail along the edges of his claws. "You aren't a monster at all. The fact that you have so much regret over it proves that. You just weren't yourself. Think of it as being possessed, like I was that one time. It all started because you wanted to protect me. We were surrounded by the enemy and about to be sentenced to death, but they were going to gang rape me first. I'm not saying that what you did was good, necessarily, but neither one of us would be here right now if not for you. This is war here and unfortunately we are part of it."
Inuyasha tensed and growled at the thought of what would have happened to Kagome if he hadn't gone full demon. The very thought sickened him.
"Your youki reacted and did what was necessary for us to survive," Kagome continued. She reached up and placed a hand on his jaw, her thumb stroking his cheek. "The soldiers may have been human, but they were apparently in league with the Band of Seven, thus in league with Naraku. It seems that youkai aren't going to be our only enemy in this time."
"I know," Inuyasha admitted. "I still hate the idea of having to kill people though."
"That's why you'll never be a monster," Kagome reassured him softly. "I can only imagine how hard it must be to have to deal with the emotional aftermath, but I'm here for you whenever you need me. Time will help you heal, and I'm here for you every step of the way."
"Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you," Inuyasha shuddered, as his girlfriend stepped back closer to him, this time for a hug. Her hands went to his back, rubbing his smooth skin. Some of his wounds had been quite deep, but his youkai blood had healed them rapidly, and it was as if he had never been injured. "Although, I can't help but wonder, wouldn't you want to just be with somebody who wasn't at risk of being such a danger? Why would you still want to be with me after all of that?"
Kagome just rested the side of her face on his chest, closing her eyes as she listened to his heart hammer rapidly. "Because I love you," she told him quietly. "So even when things are going really rough, I'm not going to leave your side."
Inuyasha's eyes widened as he pulled back so he could look down at her. "You love me?" he asked, his voice shocked.
"Yeah," Kagome replied, blushing a bit as she dared to meet his gaze. "I do and have for some time now. And while I can only hope you feel the same way back, I don't want you to feel like you have to say so just because I said it first. I'd rather wait and have you tell me in happier times."
"Ok, it's a deal," Inuyasha replied, unable to stop himself from grinning just a bit. In all honesty he wasn't quite sure that he had the nerve to say those words to her just yet, even if he did think that he felt the same way. It wasn't something he could do lightly. However, he was secretly thrilled to hear her say so.
"Good," Kagome said, shifting a bit. "So, is there anything else that has been bothering you that you want to talk about right now?"
Inuyasha sighed and let go of her once again, pulling back so she was standing upright. His gaze travelled along the side of her face, down to her neck. While the bite itself had healed, the mark itself remained. Although it was invisible, it was still something that could be instantly sensed by anybody with youkai blood. He moved his hand up to lightly trace the area with a claw.
"Yeah. The other main thing that's been bothering me is that I did this to you. I claimed you and I did it without your consent." His eyes met hers, as he tried to gauge her reaction.
Kagome was a bit confused at that, although she was able to guess what he was referring to. "I do remember you biting my neck, but what do you mean by claimed?"
Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably. "I take it you don't know much about how youkai mate, do you?" She shook her head in response. "Well…this is kind of the first step in the process. I bite you in the neck and that leaves a mark that other youkai can sense. It's like…ah…"
"What?" Kagome asked, her brows furrowed as she gazed up at him. She was more curious about the mark than anything. Even though she had healed her own neck, she often times felt a tingle in the spot he had bitten her. "Is it bad?"
"Bad? No?" Inuyasha was frowning, as he struggled to find a way how to tell her the significance. "Well it's bad in the sense you didn't consent to it first. At least to me, that's a bad thing. Basically it's like the equivalent of humans getting engaged…"
"We're engaged?" Kagome blinked at him.
"No!" Inuyasha told her quickly. "Well, I mean, to other youkai we kind of are, as I have claimed you for myself. But we can't be engaged because I did it without being aware of it, and because you didn't give me permission to do it. It just happened. I'm sorry."
"It's ok. Worse things have happened," Kagome reassured him. She wasn't angry over what he did, although it would have been nice if it had happened differently, at a later part in their relationship. "So if this was just the first step, what are the others? What's the process?"
Inuyasha sighed and gave her a sheepish grin. "Eh, usually there isn't really any process. Youkai have different traditions than humans and they usually go straight to fully mating. Just merely claiming somebody, like I did, is rare. If you're going to claim somebody, you might as well just do the whole thing right then. Basically mating is literally what it sounds like. The bite mark is done during sex."
"Oh, I see. Sounds a bit kinky," Kagome smirked at him. "Well…one day when we're ready, we can talk more about the idea I suppose. For now, can we please say that we've made up, and that going forward, you aren't going to keep shutting me out?"
"Yes. I promise not to do that anymore. I've never been in a relationship before so I'm bound to make mistakes. Thanks for not giving up on me," Inuyasha said, giving her a slight grimace. It felt as if a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He was still pained from that day, but talking to her had helped more than he realized it would.
"We all make mistakes. The important part is that we learn from them and don't keep making them," Kagome told him. Biting her lip a bit, she stepped back closer to him, reaching up to wrap her arms around the back of his neck and pull him down. She grinned against his mouth as he kissed her for the first time in far too long. She had missed his taste quite a bit. As his arms snaked around her, keeping her close as he kissed her with increased hunger, she was reminded of the fact that they were both completely naked. A shudder ran through her body when she pressed her hips forward, feeling his growing arousal brushing against her.
"At least you can still get it up," Kagome teased, as she reached down and wrapped a hand around him. It had been way too long since they had done any sort of fooling around, and she just couldn't wait until tonight.
Inuyasha groaned and jerked his hips at her touch. "Course I can get it up, bitch. I still know how to use it too. You're going to find out very soon. I have a lot of making up to do." He was practically panting, as she continued jerking him off with her hand.
"You really do. Make up to me right now," Kagome gasped, her head turning to the side as she felt his lips move down to one of her favorite spots to be kissed. Right now his kisses were rougher than they normally were, but she didn't care. All she wanted right now was him, and she was quickly becoming a bit delirious with the way he was kissing her. As he scooped her up a bit in his arms, she instinctively wrapped her legs around his hips as he walked them out of the water to a stretch of mostly flat land near the edge of the stream.
Sango sighed and picked the last bit of bark off of the stick she had been peeling, before tossing it into the fire. They had cooked some fish a bit ago, but it was still only her and Miroku at camp. "What's taking them so long? The sun is already almost gone. Don't you think we should go check on them and make sure they're ok?"
"Sango, my dear," Miroku said, trying not to chuckle too much. It amused him how naive the slayer could be at times. "Making up can take a long time to do, and it's best not to interrupt. I wouldn't be surprised if they don't come back until morning." He paused, unable to resist waggling his eyebrows at her, as his hand snuck over and down. "Perhaps we could take advantage of the privacy here as well."
A second later, the monk had a handprint on his face.
A/N: Thank you to whoever nominated this story for Best Action! I hope it gets some votes lol! Feel free to review if you're enjoying it :D
I'm officially caught up to everything I've written a whole year ago, damn it! I do need to start writing some new chapters…just so freaking busy!