Zutara Month Day 30: Jealousy

Jealous (turning saints into the sea)

A/N: Not me forgetting to upload day 30 for 3 days...

Katara swept quickly through the crowded corridors of the Fire Nation royal palace, sidestepping past the servants who bustled about in preparation for Zuko's coronation that afternoon. Many of them paused in their duties to offer her a quick bow and a reverent thanks, quickly murmured, before they carried on.

Katara still wasn't used to this, to not being afraid of people dressed in red, of having her former enemies show her kindness. She thought that action on their part might take quite a while to get used to. But she was glad that they respected her, because no one stopped her as she made her way to the soon-to-be Fire Lord's private chambers.

She was hoping to catch Zuko in his rooms getting ready for the ceremony. Katara figured he could use another healing session so he wouldn't keel over as the Fire Sages were crowning him, and...they needed to talk. About the thing that had happened the last time they were alone together.

He'd kissed her.

It had come unexpectedly. She had kept vigil at his bedside for three days, healing him until she reached the brink of exhaustion and had simply collapsed beside him in his bed. The palace healers and the Fire Sages had mostly left them alone during that time, mostly at Katara's insistence, because she hadn't known who could be trusted until Aang and the others had returned.

Zuko had woken up, startling her from her own slumber. She had been so glad to see him awake, and not feverish or delusional, that she couldn't help but to throw her arms around him. Then she'd helped him sit up before she healed him again, filling him in on everything that had happened since the Agni Kai.

She was still sitting on the bed beside him and had been watching her hands mend the wound on his chest. She'd looked up at him to see a soft look in his eyes, one she had never quite seen on him before. But she knew what that look meant, and although neither spoke a word, it was as if they were in sync as they leaned closer and closer together.

His mouth had been soft against hers, which was unlike the other times she had been kissed. Zuko was timid, waiting to see how she responded before his mouth became more insistent. She could taste his fervor on his chapped lips, and within moments her hands were carding through his hair as his hands cupped her cheeks.

They were interrupted by a maid knocking at the door with fresh linens and news that her brother and their friends had returned. Both of them, flustered, hadn't said anything else about the kiss as Katara bandaged his wound then hastily made her retreat to meet up with the others.

That had been three days ago now. Katara had been wanting to talk to him about the kiss and what it meant, but each time she'd gone to see him, there had always been others there—his uncle, Fire Sages, their friends. She was hoping to finally catch him alone now.

Katara approached the door to Zuko's chambers, which someone had left slightly ajar. Frowning slightly, she approached, but she pulled up short when she heard voices inside.

Zuko grunted in pain as he tried to maneuver his arm into the sleeve of his robe.

"Need some help with that?"

Zuko turned, and his eyes lit up when he saw Mai leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest. He'd been trying to find out if she was still locked up or not, but with everything going on, it hadn't been considered a high priority by anyone but him.

"Mai!" he exclaimed as he took a step towards her, his half-donned robe forgotten. "They let you out of prison?"

The corner of her lips twitched as she shrugged off the door casing. "My uncle's the warden. Of course they let me out."

"And you're okay?" Zuko asked earnestly as she approached him. She looked okay, but he knew what the Boiling Rock was like.

"I'm fine," Mai answered as she stopped in front of him. Her gaze dropped to the bandages wrapped around his midsection. "What about you? I heard...about what happened."

Zuko put his hand on his stomach. It still hurt, and Katara had told him that even with all her healing skills, it probably would for a while. And it would leave a scar.

"I'm okay, all things considered," he answered.

Mai nodded thoughtfully. "I'm glad you're okay."

To his surprise, Mai stepped forward and carefully wrapped her arms around him, settling her chin on his shoulder. Zuko hugged her back, glad that she was fine. He hated thinking that she had been imprisoned because of him, and hated the way the two of them had left things.

Mai pulled back first, and when Zuko looked at her, he was surprised when she leaned closer to him and kissed him.

Zuko froze, momentarily stunned. His mind immediately went to the last person he'd kissed: Katara. He'd kissed her, and they hadn't even had the chance to talk about it. He'd gotten over Mai. He cared for her, but he knew that the two of them just weren't right for each other. And kissing her now only cemented that in his mind. It didn't feel right.

He finally managed to move, pulling back as he put his hands on her shoulders to gently push her away. "Mai, wa—"

But out of the corner of his eye, he caught a flash of blue turning away from his door and disappearing down the corridor. Guilt hit him like an elephant-tiger to the chest and Zuko moved past Mai, too quickly, and his stomach seized painfully.

"Katara, wait!" Zuko called.

"Zuko, what's going on?" Mai demanded to know.

He spun around to face her, his teeth gritted against the pain in his abdomen. "Mai, what were you thinking? We ended things, remember?"

Her eyes narrowed. "No, you ended things. Through a letter. Remember? Then you ran off to join the Avatar and left me in prison for months. And yet here I am, willing to forgive you, to take you back, because I—" Her voice caught for a moment before she swallowed hard and pressed on. "Because I love you, Zuko."

Zuko stared at her in dumbfounded silence for a beat. She had never spoken those words out loud to him before, not once. His heart pulled painfully in his chest as the guilt settled in his gut like lead.

"Mai, I—" He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, Mai, but I can't...I'm not...we ended things."

It was her turn to look dumbfounded, and even a little hurt. His stomach twisted painfully with the guilt, but it had to be done. Zuko couldn't lead her on, not when his heart belonged to another. But then her expression melted into one of anger, and she jabbed a finger at him.

"And what a fool I was for thinking that risking my life for you would be more than clear enough to tell you that I didn't want things to end," Mai hissed, all ice and venom.

"I'm sorry," he said again, more gently now. He hated it, but he wanted to get through this conversation. He needed to find Katara and tell her what had happened. "But...when I left to join the Avatar and his team…" Zuko took a deep breath. "I fell in love with Katara."

To his surprise, tears welled up in Mai's eyes, but she turned away from him as she furiously blinked them away.

"I see," she bit out. "Well, if that's how you feel, I suppose there's no reason for me to hang around anymore." Mai started for the door. "Have a good life, Zuko."

Zuko caught her by the wrist. "I'm sorry, Mai. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."

She ripped her hand out of his grip. "Don't. Just don't."

Zuko watched her storm out of the room, feeling guilty. He'd meant every word he said, but he knew that Mai was justifiably upset and hurt. He didn't know if she'd ever forgive him, and he wouldn't blame her at all if she never did.

He winced as the door slammed shut behind her.

Katara had recognized Mai's raspy voice right away. Her heart had immediately dropped into her stomach, and even though she knew it wasn't right, she couldn't bring herself to either walk away from the half-open door, or to announce her presence.

So, even though she didn't really want to, Katara listened to every word spoken between Zuko and Mai. She hated to intrude on a private moment, but jealousy flared up, hot and insistent, and she found herself unable to walk away as she eavesdropped on their conversation.

She loved him. Katara had realized that somewhere between the days leading up to the comet and the aftermath of the Agni Kai. And she couldn't bear the thought of Mai coming back into his life and stealing him away without Katara ever having the chance to tell him how she felt.

And then the room had gone silent. Katara had tried to resist the urge to look, but she couldn't help it. She peeked around the doorway and saw them embracing each other, kissing. Her heart had shattered as tears stung her eyes, and Katara pressed a hand to her mouth as she spun away, needing to get as far away from that room as possible.

But she wasn't quick enough: Zuko's husky voice, so familiar now, as he called out her name, "Katara, wait!"

Her tears bubbled over and spilled down her cheeks as she pushed away from his door, grateful that the hallway had cleared. But Katara didn't make it far before her knees went weak and she collapsed against the wall, trying to hold in the hiccuping sobs that threatened to erupt from her.

It was stupid. She had no right to be upset, or jealous. Of course Zuko loved Mai. They were childhood sweethearts! Katara was no one, just some girl he'd met in his pursuit of the Avatar, who had become an unlikely friend.

Clearly, their kiss a few days ago hadn't meant that much to him. It was probably spur of the moment, oh my spirits, I'm actually alive, rather than something that came out of a place from deeper feelings. She felt angry and hurt and foolish, but she found that she couldn't even be mad at him.

She was too busy trying to hold back her tears to hear the slow footsteps coming towards her. But his voice was soft when he said her name now, not with desperation, but with sadness.

"Katara."

She scrubbed the tears from her cheeks before she looked up at him. He looked tired, his face drawn and pinched with deep shadows beneath his eyes. He wore a simple silk robe around his shoulders, left open to reveal the white cotton bandages she had wrapped around his midsection last night.

"I'm s-sorry," she stammered out around the lump in her throat. "I didn't meant t-to intrude—"

"No, don't apologize," Zuko murmured, reaching out to catch a stray teardrop on his knuckle. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

Katara pulled away from him. "Please don't do that, Zuko. You don't owe me anything. It was stupid of me to think our kiss meant anything. Or that you wouldn't still want to be with Mai—"

"I don't," Zuko cut her off gently. "I don't love her, Katara. I wasn't expecting her to show up in my room, let alone kiss me. I'm sorry that you had to see that."

Katara blinked up at him. "You...you don't love her?"

"No," Zuko said softly, his eyes smoldering as they bore into hers. He stepped closer and brought his hand up to graze her cheek with his fingertips. "I love you, Katara. I want to be with you."

At his words, Katara's emotions instantly went from hopelessness to immense joy. "I want to be with you too," she whispered.

Zuko smiled as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. Katara melted into his touch, her heart fluttering in her chest. He pulled back first, but he rested his forehead against hers, breathing shallowly. Katara reached out and gingerly touched his abdomen.

"I love you too, you crazy fool. But I should heal you now," Katara murmured. "You need to finish getting ready."

"Yeah," Zuko rasped, his voice strained. "It wouldn't do for me to faint in front of my people, would it?"

"No, it would not." Katara looped her arm around his waist. "Come on. Let's get you ready for your coronation, Fire Lord."