Summary: They part ways. Is it the end? Or not.

A/N: Okay, I have absolutely ZERO excuse for why I am this late in updating this story. Tbh, I am stuck. I know where I want this story to go and all that. But I Can't. Write. A. Damn. Word! I dunno what the fuck is happening. But tell you what! I ain't giving up. I will finish this story no matter how long it takes me.

"So, what did you want to say?"

We're standing in Eren's room which, by the way, looks like it needs an immediate clean up. The blanket is on the floor, books are scattered around the room; the bed sheet looks like someone stomped all over it.

"Levi–"

"What in the devil's ass is this?!" I cut him off with a scowl. This is fucking unacceptable! "Are you trying to tell me you've been living in this dump of a room?"

He looks surprised at my outburst, then blushes in embarrassment while looking around.

"I was busy with exams and all…" he tries to explain. "And then…"

The look of embarrassment slowly gives way to sadness. Shit! I brought back his painful memories.

"Sorry…" I mumble. "I shouldn't have yelled."

He shakes his head. "No, it's okay." Then I see a small smile. "It makes me happy that you care about me."

I huff in frustration. This kid! He's gonna be the death of me.

I walk over to him until we're standing face to face. My hand comes up to rest on his cheek as I watch him get flustered under my gaze.

"You adorable little shit!" I whisper fondly. "Of course I care about you."

He blushes a darker shade of red. "Y-You do?!" his reply is almost inaudible, as if he's afraid to believe what's happening.

The words "I do" are at the tip of my lips when suddenly my phone goes off. We both get startled and I mumble a quiet 'excuse me' before moving away from him and taking my phone out.

The name 'Izzy' shines brightly on the display, over a picture of the both of us. It's like being slapped back to reality.

I can name the exact emotions I'm feeling right now.

Guilt. Unbearable amount of guilt. And self- hatred.

"Hello."

"Dad!" I hear her familiar voice on the other side. And it only fuels my inner torment. "What the hell. You haven't called even once since you left!"

"Yeah… I've– I've been busy…" I say lamely. "Why? Did something happen?!"

"Nothing happened Dad! Stop worrying", she sighs dramatically. "I just called to check on you."

"Oh…"

"… Dad?"

"Mm?"

"Is something wrong? You sound… different."

My heart almost jumps out of my chest. Even Isabel can sense it now. What the hell am I doing!

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"No kiddo", I assure her. "I'm fine. Actually, Hange and I are about to leave for home right now. I'll pick you up from Erwin's as soon as I'm back."

"Okay!"

"That blondie's taking good care of you, right? If not, I'll kick his a–"

"Language Dad!"

I chuckle. "Aye aye capt'n! Now hang up. I gotta go."

"Alright! See you soon!"

My hand falls on my side when the call ends. I recall what happened moments before the call and shudder inwardly. What was I about to do? Getting so close to Eren like that, saying words about caring and everything when I know very well that I will never be able to put him above my daughter. Isabel is my life, my whole world. Her happiness matters to me more than anything else. There's no way I can hurt her by entertaining my own desires.

And Eren… the poor boy is suffering for no reason at all. Just because he had the misfortune of falling for someone like me! And I – what am I doing?! I should be doing everything within my power so he can forget these feelings and move on. Maybe fall in love again, with someone who can actually treat him like the precious thing he is. I can't let my momentary weakness get the better of me and make it more difficult for him than it already is!

When I turn around, Eren is leaning against the door and watching me with a sad smile. He knows what I'll say. "I was gonna ask you to reconsider, but I guess that won't be necessary anymore."

"Eren…"

"I know. I know what you'll say. But I don't wanna hear it!"

I walk up to him. He's shut his eyes tightly and probably trying his best to hold back the tears. It hurts. Why do I have to be the one to cause him pain?! I don't fucking want to!

"Eren look at me."

He shakes his head. Now trembling with the wave of unshed tears.

I wrap my arms around him.

He's so stunned by my action that all his movement stops. I stay where I am – my left ear pressed against his chest – and listen to his frantic heartbeat.

"L-Levi…!"

"Sshhh."

His fingers keep twitching, hands hovering over the air in front of him as if he can't decide where to put them. Finally, after an extended period of indecisiveness, he puts his hands around my back, pulling me closer. I close my eyes and inhale his scent.

Take it all in Levi. This is the last act of selfishness you're allowed.

One of his hands slowly makes its way up, trembling and raising goosebumps on my skin. It reaches my head and the fingers curl into my hair, caressing ever so softly. I want to nuzzle against those fingers, but stop myself before I do anything more. Instead, I say the words I should've told him since the beginning.

"I'm sorry Eren…" I whisper. "I'm so sorry. It's not your fault…"

I'm sorry things are like this…

I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to change it…

I feel wetness on my shoulder, and I know he's crying.

I let him.

"Levi?" he says once he's calmed down a bit.

"Yeah?" I take a step back and look at him.

"Since– Since it's my birthday, I can m-make a wish, right?"

"Eren, you know I can't–"

"No", he cuts me off. "I know. I won't be asking for anything you can't give me. So… please?"

I stare at him, at those green eyes shining with hope. "Okay."

He gulps. "T-Then… kiss me!"

Something in my brain freezes. Suddenly, the whole world becomes silent and all I can hear is those two words.

"kissmekissmekissmekissmekissmekissme…"

My eyes drop to his lips on their own. They look soft and plump. And I find myself wondering if they'll feel as soft as they look. Eren watches me silently.

"Have you ever been kissed brat?"

"N-No…" he whispers. And I feel his breath on my face, warm and sweet.

I rub his lower lip with my thumb. It trembles beneath my finger. I look up and find him waiting with closed eyes.

So innocent. So pure.

How could I ever hope to deserve such an angel!

I smile sadly.

"Happy birthday Eren", I whisper as my lips touch his left cheek.

He sighs. I feel his disappointment, but he chooses not to say anything.

"Keep those lips reserved for your one true love." I say in his ears, then pull back.

He smiles dejectedly. "I did. He doesn't want them."

Those words hurt more than I could imagine.

Oh Eren! If only you knew how much I want to claim those plush lips. If only I could show you the beast inside me that wants to devour you, to keep you locked inside me so no one can ever lay a finger on you!

If only the circumstances were different…

I would've done anything to make you mine!

"It's not me." But the circumstances demand that I stay far from you. So I push you away. "You'll find your true love someday. Someone who will cherish you, love you… deserve you."

"Then what about me? What about the one I cherish? I love?" he pauses, then laughs. "… but maybe don't deserve."

This is the first time he's using the word 'love'. The first time he's actually telling me he loves me. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

"Don't throw around that word so carelessly kid", I say with a grim face.

"I'm not careless Levi", he chews out the words. "Not about this!"

"You don't know–"

"I wouldn't be hurting so bad if I wasn't serious!" he yells, cutting me off. "Please Levi, if– if you can't accept my feelings… at least… don't insult them!"

This is the moment I realize how horribly I've been treating Eren for all this time. Even though he's always been the honest one, the sincere one, I ignored him. I trampled on the emotions he holds dear, never acknowledging them, never respecting them. I, who've been lying to myself, who've always been dishonest about my feelings towards Eren – I absolutely do not have the right to judge whether his emotions are true or not.

What I did was utterly and absolutely wrong. Eren never deserved to be treated that way.

"I'm sorry…" I wish I could apologize more properly. I wish I could express how truly sorry I am for everything. But the damn words just won't come out!

"I know", he sighs. "It's just… it hurts because I know you love me too!"

There he said it. The words I could never even admit to myself. This seventeen-year-old teenager just throws them at me as if it's nothing; shattering all the lies I'd carefully constructed to shield myself from this devastating truth.

"I don't." I do! I love you. And I'm a liar.

He laughs. "You're still denying it, huh?"

Yes. Because it has to be like this. Because I can't let my selfishness cause him any more pain.

"I should… I should go."

He stares at me, searching for something in my eyes. I look away.

"Yeah", his tone is bitter. "You should."

Later, when I'm getting in the car with Hange, only Carla is there to see us off.

Eren is nowhere to be seen.

Two weeks after my return, I get the first text from Eren.

From: Shitty Brat
I'm sorry :(

I stare at my phone for one solid minute, wondering if I'm hallucinating. That stupid and naïve and adorable little shit has actually sent me a text on his own! Even after how awfully I treated him last time?!

To be honest, I've been meaning to apologize to him ever since I left. But I didn't know how to approach. I kept conjuring scenarios after scenarios in my mind, but nothing seemed appropriate. After all, I'm the one who's been rejecting him again and again. How can I face him after all the hurtful words I threw on his face? So I stayed silent. It was better in a sense. If we keep out of touch, it'll be easier for him to forget about me.

But it'll be a lie not to admit that every single day I've been secretly hoping. For something I'd rather not admit out loud.

To: Shitty Brat
Don't be sorry brat. You did nothing wrong.

To: Shitty Brat
I'm the one who should be saying sorry…

I wait for his reply anxiously, but definitely not like a nervous schoolgirl waiting for her crush's text. Nope.

Also, I will never admit that I rushed to my phone as soon as the reply came.

From: Shitty Brat
Well, we both said things to each other.

A few seconds later, as I'm thinking about what to write in reply, there's another one.

From: Shitty Brat
Let's call it even. What do you say?

I sigh in relief. So he's not angry with me anymore. That's good. But what does he mean by calling it even? Becoming strangers again, like we originally were? Is that even possible?!

To: Shitty Brat
Sure.

Well, whatever.

From: Shitty Brat
Good!

That wraps it up, I guess. We clashed, we fought, we got hurt. And now it's time to heal. Each in his own way.

A month passes by, without a single text.

What was I expecting anyway? We did part our ways in that last text, didn't we? Then what the fuck am I waiting for?!

I vent my frustration out on the scrubber. The already sparkling floor gets another round of harsh cleaning.

"Dad?"

I stop working and look up at Isabel who's sitting on the couch, munching cookies and watching my antics.

"Are you alright?" she asks when I say nothing.

Alright? Of course I'm alright. It's not like the world is ending just because some eighteen years old kid decided not to text me anymore!

Fuck! That sounds so fucking pathetic!

"Why?" I ask in return. Am I that obvious?

"Nothing", she quickly says. "Just… you're scowling a lot… I guess."

I am? Sure I am. Eren's not texting me. And I'm worried.

Yes, that's it. I'm just worried about him.

"I always scowl Izzy. This is how my face is."

"Yeah but–" she thinks for a moment before speaking. "Usually it's a regular scowl… like… the normal one, I mean. But today it's sorta like… I don't know… more angry looking?"

"You're seeing things kid", I mutter, then get back to scrubbing the life out of the fucking floor!

What good will it do by keeping in touch anyway?

At least you'll know he's okay – a voice in my head whispers.

Is that enough?

It's better than nothing – the voice replies.

By the end of that evening, I've had enough. One text won't harm, right? It's not like I'm initiating something. I just wanna know how he's doing. Like I said, I'm worried.

Well, here goes nothing.

To: Shitty Brat
Hey.

What kind of stupid text is that? What am I, fifteen?

The reply comes within minutes.

From: Shitty Brat
Hi!

A/N: Yass. I am stopping it right there! I know, cruel! *devil laugh*

Hope you liked it. I honestly can't promise an early update, because I'll be really sad if I'm not able to. Please hang on. I'll post the next one as soon as my shitty writer's block lets me.

Thank you so much for waiting T_T