Divine Comedy (25)

Jane

I could barely register any impact on my feet as I walked to the falls, even as I lashed out with a kick on a boulder that would have crushed all the toes in a human foot. The rock sailed across the pool to shatter on the cliff behind the waterfall.

How could my own brother keep secrets from me? And for so long?

Betrayal cut through me deeper than a claw from a Child of the Moon. I had never hidden anything from Alec. Like so many things he had read, I was an open book to him. Every thought I had, good or bad, was his for him to know. What right did he have to keep his own secrets?

I could always rely on Alec for solace whenever I got upset, but this time, for the first time, I couldn't turn to him. I wasn't ready to face him again. Not yet. I felt for the carved wolf's head hanging from my neck. That reminded me that I had someone else I could talk to, after all.

I left the falls to seek out Goro. I found him some ways down the hill, practicing his sword technique while balancing on rocks jutting from a ledge. The blade gleamed in tight, seamless arcs against the sunset. I froze to stop a stone's throw away from him. Could Alec and I ever get to that point? Certainly not the way we were now.

Goro lowered his sword as I walked closer to him. "I take it that you and your brother haven't sorted things out yet?"

I made a glum nod to affirm his guess. Then I asked, "May I head down to the village to make a phone call?"

"You've got someone important to you besides your brother?"

"Yes. He is my...lover." I wouldn't call Seth my mate. Not yet, anyway.

Goro laughed as he returned his sword to its sheath. "No need to sound so formal, little one. Just say it like it is."

If I was human, my face would be as red as a sockeye salmon. "Boyfriend, then. I would like to talk to my boyfriend."

Since Alec and I had started training with Goro, I never made a request like this before. It was an unspoken assumption that we'd be training all day and all night, with no time for leisure or fooling around. But at the state I was in, all I wanted was to reach out to Seth. For all I knew, talking to him may be just the thing for me to "find my groove again," as he might put it.

Goro had been studying me with a slight tilt of his head. Then he grunted and leapt nimbly from the rocks. "You've been working hard. A short break would do you some good. It's important that you stay in touch with people close to you."

Surprised at his answer, I bowed deeply at him. "Thank you."

Nightfall settled into the village like a soft, dark blanket. I remained at the edge of town, where I didn't enter the streets proper and I stayed out of sight. I settled next to a plum tree and pulled out my phone.

As I dialed Seth's number and waited for him to pick up, I marveled at the advances we had made with technology. When Alec and I were children, we used to spend days and weeks waiting for news from our father, who would be fighting somewhere in mainland Europe. Now I could call someone on the other side of the world with a few taps of the phone. And not just call, but talk face-to-face if we wanted, as if whatever distance between us didn't matter. I longed to see Seth's face again, not just hear his voice, so I was grateful for living in an era that would grant my wish.

Seth's face blinked into view with a grin that spread ear to ear. "Hey, Jane, what's up?"

I couldn't even muster a reply. Instead my face crumpled and I hid it behind one of my hands. I couldn't shed tears, but my shoulders began to shake as one would with heavy crying.

"I missed seeing you, too." His choked up voice made me pull my hand away. He tried to blink back tears that made his dark eyes glimmer. "Can you believe it's been more than a year since we last saw each other?"

"It feels longer than that," I managed to say.

"Tell me about it. I think about you every day." He tried to laugh, but around the lump in his throat, it sounded more like a cough. "You were probably way too busy training to do the same, and I don't blame you."

I shook my head. "I think about you every day, too." And I thought about how hard I'd been crying just now. "I...I really missed you, Seth. It's so good to see you again."

He smiled to return the tenderness in my voice. "I was just about to go to sleep, but I saw that you were calling and I had to pick up."

I frowned. "Oh, my apologies." Early evening in Japanese Standard Time meant around midnight in Pacific Standard Time. In my selfishness and lack of need to sleep, I had forgotten about that until Seth reminded me. "Should I call you at a better time?"

He waved his hand. "Nah, you're good." Concern made him scrunch up his brow. "So what's up? You look like something's really been bothering you."

I bit back a sigh of dismay, then I told him about the conflict between me and Alec. Seth listened attentively and without interrupting.

Finally he said softly, "Wow...I never heard your brother's side of the story before."

"Me neither," I replied, and that sent another stab of betrayal through my body.

Seth briefly averted his gaze to something on his desk. "Actually, I've been in his shoes not too long ago. When you first came to Forks, to the Cullens, for a while I didn't tell my sister about you. I'd been avoiding her and got all secretive, then we got into this big fight. Only by me wolfing out, she was in on the secret, too. She got real hurt that I'd been hiding from her."

"At least you and Leah put that behind. But the secrets Alec had been keeping from me...we are talking about centuries of him pretending there was nothing between us. I thought I knew him better than anyone else in the world. Now it's like I don't know him at all."

Seth said nothing for a while. Then, he said quietly, "It's not my place to tell you what you should or shouldn't feel...but speaking as a brother, I think I understand why Alec had been hiding from you. He thought he was trying to protect you. Not that I'm saying that killing three guys and disliking your kid is okay, but maybe he thought it'd hurt you more than help you to know all of that, especially when you two were human. I haven't known Alec for very long, but he seems like he'd do anything to protect you, even if he doesn't always know the best way to go about it. Maybe he meant to tell you the truth at some point, but he got scared more than anything else. Maybe his biggest fear was you hating him if you found out."

Not for the first time, Seth's perception beyond his years surprised me. "I don't hate my brother. I would never. But I..." I took in a deep breath and let it out sharply. "I'm just so angry with him right now. And I've never been angry with him in my life."

"Never? Really?"

I nodded at his wide-eyed disbelief. "I don't know what to do about that."

"But that's the thing with siblings. Brothers and sisters always get into fights, no matter how old we get. Me and Leah, we fight all the time. More often than not, after we fight, we find a way to make up somehow."

I sighed. "I don't know how long it'll take me to forgive Alec."

"I don't know, either, because that's not for me to decide. You decide when it's the right time."

"Well, I already feel a bit better by talking to you. Bottling up everything I'm feeling would be like trying to bottle up a storm."

"I'm glad I could make you feel better, even if just for a bit. Whatever you're feeling is totally normal." Seth rubbed the back of his head and eyed me sheepishly. "If I have to be honest...it's kind of reassuring to see you reacting this way. It's only human."

I cracked a smirk. "You say that like it's a good thing."

"It is."

"Well, thank you for taking the time to hear me out. I should let you rest now."

Seth thrust out a hand. "Wait. I almost forgot. There's something I need to tell you first."

As I let him go on, it turned out that there was more to the matter with the blue ghost horse—the kresnik, rather. He told me about Tanya and Kate's experience with the blue stag, and about the horse—Luka—refusing to let my kind exist in this world.

Worry stirred up within me. "This isn't a threat we can brush off," I concluded. For once I wished Demetri was still around. His gift would be just the thing to track down this man. Not knowing where he was or what he would do worsened my worry.

"We don't know a lot about Luka yet," Seth said, "but he seems to be drawn to the power and presence of vampires. That's what drew him to us, to the Cullens. What if he knows about you, Alec, and Goro? You three are completely exposed. I want to come over so I got your backs."

"Will your family let you travel?"

"I'll talk to my mom and Leah about it. If I could convince them to let me go to Volterra, I think they could let me go to Japan."

"It would be very nice to see you in person," I admitted.

"Same. Okay, I'll let them know as soon as I wake up tomorrow." He waved at me and blew a kiss. "Good night, Jane, and I hope you and Alec make up."

"Thank you, Seth. Good night."

After ending the call, I made my way back up the hill at a human pace, to give me time to think over what Seth had said about Alec. I tried not to think about so much how my brother had hurt me, but understand where he was coming from. I tried not to approach this from anger, but from empathy.

Seth was right—Alec would never hurt me. Not intentionally, anyway. And, with a sudden pang in my chest, I realized that all this time my little brother had been fearing me, the big sister. His greatest fear was to be left alone, and now that all we have left was each other...The realization was enough to make me freeze in mid-stride and suck in a small, pained gasp. Then I broke into a headlong run, sprinting over rocks, dirt trails, and vine bridges.

I found Alec in the clearing. He sat at the center, with knees against his chest and arms wrapped around his legs. My approach made him lift his downcast gaze at the grass.

"Sister—?"

He couldn't get out anything else as I ran to him, fell to my knees, and threw my arms around his shoulders. He thrust out a hand to keep from falling over.

I buried my face into his neck, and if I could cry, hot tears would be running down my cheeks. "Oh, Alec," I whispered, "you don't have to be scared of me. I'd never turn you away and leave you alone. Never, ever. You are my little brother, my only family left in this whole wide world."

I could feel the lump in his throat bobbing against my cheek. He tried to say something, but only a small, choked sound came out. He hugged me back fiercely, like he never wanted to let go. We cried on each other's shoulders under the stars. I took comfort in leaning against him, and he did likewise. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we pulled back from the embrace.

Alec's voice trembled. "Jane, I'm so sorry..."

I reached out to rest my palm on his cheek. "All is forgiven."

"Even when it comes to Connor?"

I closed my eyes. "You were hiding it for so long, but I should have seen it sooner. Instead I was so focused on caring for him and loving him that I couldn't see how having him around affected you. I may not have planned to be a mother, but you hadn't planned on being an uncle, either. I didn't stop to think of how you felt about the huge change in our lives. That was selfish of me."

He frowned and clasped my hand. "No, sister, don't blame yourself."

Still, I had to laugh. "God knows that Connor wasn't a perfect baby. He had his bad days, screaming and crying and making a mess in the house, and you had put up such a good straight face about it all, but really..." I shook my head. "I should have known better. I'm sorry."

When I looked upon my brother, the anger I had for him now melted away into sadness. "I was hurt that you decided to hide this from me. I wish you could have trusted me to know everything you're feeling."

Alec stared at the ground between us. "I...I was so scared..."

"I know that now. You don't have to be." I gripped his hands. "I love you no matter what, and even if I get hurt and angry, I'll forgive you. That's what brothers and sisters do."

He squeezed my hands back. "No more secrets between us," he promised. "We can't grow stronger and get better together if we can't trust each other."

"That's right."

His voice trembled again. "This is coming a thousand years too late, but I don't hate Connor anymore. I live for your happiness, and I'm so glad that he could make you feel that way. He's not here anymore, so I hope that I can make you happy in his place."

I kissed his forehead. "You've already been doing that for me."

I felt the bridge between us mend into something truly unbreakable. We tested that new strength the next day, when a storm brewed over us and we challenged Goro to another spar against him.

Alec and I moved like one fighter instead of two, like arms and legs connected to one mind. We didn't beat Goro, but that wasn't the point of the sparring. We won by lasting through the storm. My brother and I learned that we could weather through any kind of storm together.

Seth

My family had a way of really surprising me sometimes. Mom gave the green light on letting me travel to Japan to see Jane. So did Leah.

"That sounds way more exciting than staying in Forks," Mom said. "I know how much you've wanted to see Japan. It can be your summer vacation."

"Stepping outside of La Push for a bit would be real good for you," Leah said. "I know that from my trip to Antelope Canyon."

At my sister's response, I gave her a raised eyebrow. "I'm surprised that you're not insisting on tagging along."

She smirked and put up her hands. "I'm not getting in the way of time alone with your vampire girlfriend."

That made me blush.

"Besides, going to Arizona made me fall in love with deserts. I don't think that Japan's gonna scratch that desert itch for me. You go on ahead and have fun." Then she gave me a stern glare and wagged a finger. "But make sure you text or call me every day, so I know you're okay and not lying dead in a ditch somewhere."

Leah's warning note made me laugh. "You sound so much like Mom."

I told Jake and the Cullens about my upcoming summer vacation, and oddly enough, it was Bella who sprang to her feet at the notion.

"It'd be a pain in the ass to travel as an unaccompanied minor internationally," she told me. "You wouldn't be able to do much. I know someone who can get you around that."

Apparently the Cullens were in league with a lawyer and an expert at forging legal documents. Bella spent the next few days sweet-talking the guy, J. Jenks, into forging a driver's license and passport for me, so I could pass off for eighteen instead of sixteen.

As if the Cullens weren't generous already, Carlisle offered to cover all my traveling expenses by giving me a credit card.

I refused it at first. "I dunno if that's the smartest idea..." I sweated nervously just thinking about all the geeky merch I'd buy.

Carlisle insisted on handing the card to me. "I know you'll spend it wisely. You've got a good head on your shoulders." Then he winked. "Besides, I'll see all the transactions. I'd be surprised if you didn't buy at least one of those Japanese comic books."

At that, the Cullens overhearing shared small smiles.

I let out an embarrassed chuckle. "You all know me so well."

As for communicating and getting around once I got there, Jane would help me out with her knowledge in Japanese. She had let me know that she got permission from Goro to spend time with me. The pieces were coming together so nicely. It seemed too good to be true. The real reason I was going was to protect Jane and her brother in case danger headed their way, but I hoped that I would have time for fun, too. This would be my very first solo international trip, after all.

Jane and I had agreed to meet in Tokyo. According to a secondhand message passed on by Jane, Goro recommended that I visit Tokyo: a bonafide haven for anime fans. Akihabara, Nakano Broadway, Ikebukuro...so many cool places stuffed into one city. I took up his recommendation wholeheartedly.

Using the ticket Carlisle got for me, I took a straight flight from Seattle to Tokyo. When I arrived at Narita International Airport, it was easy for me to spot Jane. She stood out like a glowing, beautiful sun, with her hair down and wearing a cute lace top with white jeans.

I ran up and gave her the kind of hug that swept her off her feet and swung her around a few times. She was small enough to let me do that without any effort, and she was happy enough to let me do it in public.

"Hey, babe," I whispered into her ear.

"Hello, darling," she whispered back.

Her way of endearment sent a flood of warmth through my body. Finally I released her from the hug and pulled down my mask to give her a kiss on the cheek. "So, we got some time to ourselves. Where do you want to start?"

She spread her hands. "It's your call."

I considered the possibilities, then I said, "How about we spend each day between doing half the stuff I want to do and half the stuff you want to do?"

"That sounds fair."

My ears warmed as my stomach growled. "I'm starving. I had nothing on the plane. Lunch first!"

We went out to grab sushi. Well, I grabbed sushi. Jane got nothing for herself, but she ordered food on my behalf. I went to town on rolls drizzled in spicy mayo and sriracha, then I looked up sheepishly at Jane, who had been sitting across from me in quiet politeness.

"Sorry that you have to see me stuffing my face," I muttered.

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Eat as much as you need to." She leaned back slightly in her seat. "I don't mind sitting in a place like this. I enjoy the ambiance."

The sushi bar was a quiet little place, where dimly lit lanterns hung overhead and glossy red wooden portals surrounded us. The red backdrop really brought out the gold in her irises. "Nice eyes," I said.

"Thank you." A small smile flickered on her pale face. "I promised that the next time we'd see each other, I would have these eyes."

"I remember, and you kept your promise." We had a lot to catch up on, so first I asked Jane to talk about her training in Japan. She let me in on all the details while I ate, listened, and nodded along. My mind was spinning from all the stuff she had learned, and most of all, what awaited her at the end of the road. "You're gonna have your own werewolf sword...that's so damn cool."

"It won't be easy," she said with a slight grimace. "I have to pass the trial."

"What do you have to do?"

"Goro will have me fight a jinrō, defeat it, and take its fangs and claws."

My eyes grew wide. "Whoa. That's intense. There are still some around here?"

She shook her head. "Not in Japan. The Volturi made sure of that. Despite their—our efforts, a few stragglers survived and have been lurking in the Asian continent. Goro can sniff them out and use them for trial material, in the rare occasion he has a student."

"Gotcha. Beating one sounds tough, not gonna lie, but I know how hard you've been working. I know you'll get your sword."

What I said seemed to loosen the tension stretched across her face. "Your faith in me is assuring."

The last entree for me was brought out, and as it was set on the table, Jane cracked a one-sided grin. "Tachiuo nigiri...I had to cut so many of the damn things."

I laughed. "Yeah, I know. I want to try it, see what it tastes like." I popped one into my mouth, and after a few chews, I gave Jane a thumbs up. "Leaner than salmon and tuna, and not as oily, but still good."

With that I finished my lunch, and set down my chopsticks across the empty plate. "Okay, your turn next. What do you want to do this afternoon?"

Jane mulled over the question for a few moments, then she said, "I would like to visit the Tokyo Metropolitan Theater. I heard that it opened up to a few kabuki performances at limited capacity."

On the way to catch the next show, we held hands. In the summer heat, the coolness of her touch was welcoming. The fact that she didn't shy away from that kind of prolonged contact was a sign of taking our relationship to the next level. And it hit me: this was my first real date with Jane. What better place to have it than Tokyo?

"I guess that Alec stayed behind with Goro," I said.

She nodded. "He didn't want to get in the way of my time with you."

I laughed. "Leah said the same thing to me." Then with all seriousness, I asked, "Everything with you two okay?" I was hoping that the twins not being together meant that they hadn't made up.

Jane closed her cool fingers tighter around mine. "We've sorted it out. Alec and I have grown closer than we ever had before."

"That's great. I'm glad to hear it."

Rock, R&B, and hip-hop were more of my swing when it came to concerts, but I still enjoyed the show that Jane wanted to see. Kabuki theater was unlike anything I had ever seen. The thick makeup and elaborate costumes were a kaleidoscope of brilliant colors, meant to capture and hold our gaze on the actors. According to the English brochure I read, kabuki actors had stage names that were passed down between generations of an actor's bloodline. Stage names were also a thing in the Western world—that's how you get people called Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars. But until now, I had never heard of stage names being passed down among families before. Those actors probably had a lot on their shoulders, carrying the expectations and standards of their families.

I couldn't help thinking of the kresnik and the Quileute spirit warriors. Luka was carrying a legacy of hatred, and he was wrong to think I was doing the same. In reality, my people had always been about protection, not hatred. My ancestors' definition of that had been different, but in this day and age, I extended the meaning of protection to anyone I cared about, vampire or not. That made me continue to hold Jane's hand as we watched the kabuki performance. Luka was wrong to believe that I was dishonoring my tribe and my ancestors. I was just carrying on the mission. I hadn't changed the heart of it.

Since arriving at the Metropolitan Theater, I knew what I wanted to do for my turn. We were already in Ikebukuro, so I wanted to check out what the district was known for: all the indie stores exclusively for manga and anime. Once I stepped inside a manga bookstore, I wanted to bounce off the walls.

Stepping in to join my side, Jane shot me an amused glance. "I can hear your heart pounding like a jackhammer."

"Yeah," I breathed. "I need a moment." I pressed my hands against my mouth (my mask, actually) and let out the internal scream into a quiet "eeee" through tight lips.

Unlike in American bookstores, every conceivable inch and corner of the place was stacked with volumes upon volumes. There was manga in English, but the newest, up-to-date volumes were in Japanese, of course. I got my hands on the newest volumes of my favorite series. Jane and I headed next to the nearby park, where we settled on a stone bench beneath a pink and white canopy of plum trees.

I offered a volume open at its first page to Jane. "Could you please read it aloud for me?" I asked meekly. "I don't understand Japanese, but I gotta know what happens next in the story."

She accepted the volume with tentative hands. "Alec is better at reading than I am, so he would make a more suitable narrator, but I'll do my best."

Jane translated written Japanese into spoken English, and I wrapped an arm around her, peering at the pages over her shoulder. She traced a finger over the panels so I could follow along. She started out slow and neutral, like the text-to-speech voice on some apps. It was hard to stay that way, though, when manga was so over-the-top and packed with drama. So for the sake of entertaining me, about halfway into the volume, she put more emotion into her voice. That had me switching between huge grins and belly laughs.

The fun came to a screeching halt when she had to cover the death of a fan-favorite main character. I sat back blinking like an owl. "No way...did he really die...?" I actually teared up. It was kind of embarrassing how attached I got to these fictional characters, but Jane didn't tease me. Instead, in attempt to console me, she patted my hand.

"You remind me of my brother," she said fondly. "He's the kind of person to get very invested in stories, too. Back when we were small, our father used to sit the two of us on his lap and tell stories. Alec would always cry at the sad stories of knights who fell in battle."

Jane went on to read aloud the other volumes I had bought. She had fun translating for me as much as I had fun listening to her. When she finished up the last manga, we fell quiet and kept sitting on the bench. We leaned against each other, with her head on my shoulder, and our necks tipped back so we could admire the plum trees. Sometimes we'd lock eyes and kiss. There weren't a lot of people in the park, so as the quietness between us stretched on, we snuck in more kisses, longer kisses, as if to make up for all that time and distance that had kept us apart until now. Wasn't that what most guys dreamed about? Making out with his girlfriend under a sky of pink flowers? I felt like I was living the dream.

Jane and I were at the park until sunset. We headed off for the place she wanted to see next: Sensō-ji, Tokyo's oldest temple in Asakusa. It was old, built around 940 AD, but Jane was older. That was mind-boggling.

Apparently the temple was where Tokyo held its largest and most popular festival: Sanja Matsuri. People would flock to the temple in mid-May, but this year Sanja Matsuri had to be canceled. Too bad for people looking forward to the festival, but at least Jane and I made our way through a crowd that was thinner than usual.

The first entrance gate to the temple, the Kaminarimon, was large, red, and grand. Looming at the center of it was a huge paper lantern, painted in red and black. Like many tourists before us, I stood under the lantern and spread out my hands to look like I was holding it. Jane took a picture with my phone and hers. We were going to switch places when a Japanese girl looking about nine or ten ran up to block her way.

"Excuse me," said the girl in English, as abruptly as she had dashed in. "I need to talk to you."

"Oh, hello. Would you like a picture with the lantern?"

Jane's reply, though surprised, was also friendly, but the girl shook her head.

"No, I have to tell you something very important." The girl was skinny as a twig and had a soft face, but her eyes were unusually dark and sharp, like she could see into all sorts of things most people couldn't. What she said next was strange: "We were meant to meet. I followed the red thread and it led me to you here. We are connected." With a dainty hand she pointed up at Jane, and with the most unsmiling solemnity I had ever heard from a pre-adolescent girl, she declared, "You and I are family."

Jane and I just stared wide-eyed at this girl, who dropped out of nowhere like a blitzkrieg bomb, and together we blurted out "What?"

This is getting to the heart of the Japan arc: familial connection and bloodlines. I told y'all I was going somewhere with the idea of Jane having a child. I've been wanting to reach this point ever since Connor was first brought up in chapter 3. And in chapter 16, there's mention of Connor having children, therefore Jane having grandchildren. I've always been fascinated with the idea of immortal characters living way past their time alongside the continuation of their family lineage, and the kind of relationships they have with those family members. I'm definitely having fun with the idea in the next few chapters.