Two days ago, the last thing Quinn had expected was to climb into the front seat of a car as Shelby carefully put the impossibly small baby into the huge car seat for the first time. A nurse wheeled her out, along with the flowers and a few gifts from her friends, plus all the things she'd brought along. Oh, and the hospital freebies, a bunch of those giant pads and mesh underwear. Thankfully, each day, Quinn wasn't quite as sore, but she still moved cautiously as she got into the car.
Shelby loaded all of Quinn's things next, one thing being the rented hospital grade breast-pump. Quinn had used it right before they left, but since three hours was too long to go between expressing her milk, Shelby had also purchased a smaller and more portable one for Quinn to use in the car and all of the other things, like storage bags, ice packs, and a little cooler for the milk. It was, after all, why she was going home with Shelby and the baby.
As Shelby got into the driver's seat, they both looked back at Beth, whose car seat was in the middle seat of the back, the safest place for a baby in the car. She exchanged a smile with Quinn. "You ready to go home?"
Home, as far as Quinn was concerned, was anyplace she felt safe and welcome, and Shelby was making her feel this way now. It didn't even matter to her that she was going to basically be a wet nurse for awhile. The important thing was that she was going to be with Beth a little longer, plus she could see how Shelby was as a mom.
"I'm so glad we're doing this," she told Shelby, positively beaming at her. As she settled into the car, she smoothed down the loose-fitting t-shirt she was wearing and stared down at her stomach. Her belly had gone down some more, and today, she just looked like she was five months pregnant or so.
"It's all the pumping," Shelby commented, accurately reading Quinn's thoughts, as they pulled away from the hospital. "Helps you lose the weight more quickly. But they said to make sure you're eating plenty of calories. Do you have that granola I got you?"
Quinn nodded and pulled out the bag of granola that she'd been keeping in her purse. Truthfully, she was already hungry, even though breakfast hadn't been long ago, and she opened it and began munching away. Shelby reminded her that the flax seed in it was also supposed to help with milk production. Quinn was beginning to feel like a well-fed cow, but she said nothing, not wishing to seem ungrateful.
"I wish I'd done something like this with Hiram and Leroy," Shelby suddenly said, catching Quinn off guard as she realized she was bringing up Rachel and her dads again.
"Can I ask you something?" Quinn asked, curiously. "How... how did that all go down? Having a baby for those guys, I mean, how did you even end up doing that in the first place?"
It was something she was dying to know but she'd been worried that it wasn't appropriate for her to ask. But Shelby had brought it up, giving her an opening to start the dialogue. She really wanted to know more about how it had happened, as she now couldn't imagine voluntarily and knowingly sacrificing your body just to make two other people parents.
"I met them on the Broadway circuit," she shared. "We were in several of the same shows for a few years and they were part of my inner circle in the City. You kind of needed that, otherwise it could be a lonely existence. My friends were my family. Anyway, Leroy and Hiram were always talking about how they wanted to move back to Ohio, start a family, adopt a baby. I related to a dream like that, being from Ohio myself. So... I decided I'd help. I was a paid surrogate, so for nine months, they took care of me while I carried a child for them."
"Rachel." Quinn furrowed her brow. "Did you move back to Ohio because you wanted to find her?"
"Actually, I kept my distance intentionally," Shelby said, as Quinn noticed her visibly swallowing a lump that was evidently forming in her throat. "I didn't want to interfere with her life. But, one way or another, once she realized who I was, there was no going back. I... I've been so busy with Beth, that I confess, I haven't decided what I'm going to do about Rachel."
"Most people don't know what to do about Rachel," Quinn said, without really thinking. "Sorry. She's not my favorite person. Mostly, she annoys me."
And steals my boyfriend, Quinn thought, though Finn would have left, one way or another, when he found out about Puck and Quinn. Rachel just made that easier for him.
Shelby laughed lightly. "It's fine," she said, showing she wasn't offended. "I see the same tenacity in her that made me pack up my things and move to Manhattan as soon as I could. And... that tenacity can be annoying to some people."
Quinn glanced at the sleeping Beth in the backseat, and then at Shelby. "Do you regret it?"
Shelby's eyes widened. "Do I regret having Rachel and giving her to Leroy and Hiram?" she asked. "No. I don't. It was one of the more selfless things I did in my life. I just regret waiting so long to do this on my own. I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Giving up Rachel just intensified those feelings."
"Makes sense." Quinn glanced at the baby in the rearview again. She fell silent then, and so did Shelby, who rightly sensed that the moment was a bit awkward. She put on some music then, and Quinn promptly fell asleep in the car, tired out by all the round-the-clock pumping sessions she was doing to earn her keep.
When she woke up, Beth was crying, her shirt was soaked, and they were pulling into the parking lot of a nicer apartment complex. She had slept right through the time she'd intended to pump in the car with the nice little one in the storage bag in her floor. Shelby had just put in the gate code when she noticed Quinn's issue.
"Oh, no," she said, with a chuckle. "I guess now we know three hours is too long between pumping sessions for you. And for her."
Quinn couldn't agree more, plus her chest was positively throbbing now, and she couldn't imagine how she was going to keep this up. It didn't seem sustainable, but somehow, she would have to manage. At least, they had told her, later on she might be able to produce more milk but pump less often.
She didn't even stop to look at anything in the apartment when they got up there. Shelby had handed her a key and her pump, and she hightailed it up the flight of stairs, moving faster than she had in days. She hurried to the bedroom and hooked herself up as fast as she could, pulling off the shirt. Shelby had just said to borrow one of her t-shirts when she was done.
The bedroom was clean and tastefully decorated. Shelby even had a little bassinet prepared for the baby, waiting by her bed. Quinn was relieved, to see nothing out of the ordinary here and a comfortable place prepared for her baby.
Shelby's baby. Oops. She was going to have to stop doing that and make sure to mentally correct herself every single time. She may given birth to Beth, she may have named Beth, and she may have been the one producing all the food for Beth, but she was not Beth's mother.
As she pumped, she checked her phone and it made her smile. On route to Akron, she'd received some texts from her friends. One from Mercedes, one from Tina, one from Artie, one from... Rachel?
I can't believe you're living with my mother, it read. Let me know what she's like.
Quinn rolled her eyes at first, at Rachel being Rachel and always finding a way to make it about herself. Then she stopped to consider that this girl had already made a three-hour trip and dragged her along, just for the chance of meeting Shelby. And suddenly, she wasn't so annoyed by Rachel's request.
Sure, she texted her back. We just got back to her place with the baby. She talked about giving you up in the car. It was hard for her. Like it's hard for me.
She regretted sharing that personal anecdote with Rachel the instant she pressed send, because she and Rachel weren't close, probably never would be, and she didn't need to start acting like they were.
Mercedes and Tina just sent sweet messages to let her know they were thinking of her. Brittany's came in while she was reading theirs, and it just simply asked if they had gotten lost on the way home. But at least she was thinking of her, which was more than could be said for Santana. At least now Quinn knew who her real friends were.
Artie's, per usual, was long-winded but extremely thoughtful.
I hope you had a good trip to Akron, it read. I wanted to help in some way so I took the liberty of getting a list of your teachers' emails together for you. I know Mr. Schue is going to send you all the assignments for the next two weeks for Spanish. Maybe the others could do the same. Good luck with your Algebra teacher. I hear she doesn't know how to check email or use a scanner. If you need me to physically go get assignments for you, I can do that. Good luck getting anything from Coach Tanaka, the douche bag. I'm willing to try to help there, too, if you need.
There was a second message, which included all the emails and saved her the trouble of looking them up online.
Quinn smiled at how Artie presumed school would be the biggest worry on her mind. She planned to spend two weeks at Shelby's, at the very least, and to return to school only when her milk supply was well-established and she could make enough to start freezing it. That was the main thing on her mind, not how she was going to get her Algebra assignments. But it was definitely the thought that counted, she thought, as she pictured Artie badgering Coach Tanaka for her World Geography assignments. This was the same guy Artie wouldn't even go to for access to the basketballs in the gym.
She decided his kindness deserved a phone call, so she went ahead and called. He answered right away, in his usual cheery way. "Quinn!"
"Artie, you are awesome," she said, glancing at the clock. "Oh, hey, I guess I caught you right at the beginning of glee club." She paused. "Is the club still meeting?"
"Kind of," Artie said. "But mostly to just hang out and start cleaning out the choir room, per Figgins' request. Ms. Pillsbury is real mad and she's been yelling at him every day about it. I guess she's not worried about getting fired or anything. Mr. Schue looks like he's given up. I've never seen him so defeated."
"That's awful," Quinn said, feeling dejected. She'd still been holding onto a small shred of hope that maybe they wouldn't lose Glee club afterall.
"Yeah..." Artie trailed off, then Quinn heard someone talking to him. "Yeah, I'm talking to Quinn... oh, okay, yeah, I will. Hey, Quinn, Puck said to tell you hi."
"Hi, Puck," Quinn said, happy and maybe even a little surprised to hear he was still showing up to their practices. Maybe he really had loved Glee club, as he claimed he did, and it hadn't just been about keeping tabs on Quinn.
"There's someone else who... patience, woman, that is unnecessary!" She heard Artie's voice fade away, as though he were far away from the phone.
"Hi, Quinn!" Mercedes greeted her, as Artie could be heard in the background, continuing to protest. "We're trying to come up with a song to sing to Mr. Schue at the end of the year. We won't do it until you get back. Anyway, be thinking of ideas for what we could sing."
"I appreciate you guys for waiting on me," Quinn said. "I'll try to search for stuff while I'm up late at night for pumping sessions. I-I miss you guys."
"We miss you!" Mercedes exclaimed. "So, two weeks right? Do you think it would be okay if a small group of us came when it's time to bring you back to Lima? We'd really love to meet the baby... stop it, Artie, I'm asking her, you don't have to come if you think it's terrible of me to—"
"Mercedes?" Quinn cut her off. "Tell Artie it's just fine, I'll be feeling fine by then, I'm sure, and I'd love for a group of you to come here and meet the baby. And... I could use the moral support, anyway, when it's time to say good-bye."
"It would be our pleasure," Mercedes replied. And then Quinn heard her address Artie. "And now I'm done, here is your phone back."
Artie, with his phone back in his possession, came on again. "I just wanted to make sure," he said. "I mean, I don't know anything about birth, I don't know how long it takes to recover. I just want you to be comfortable..."
"I still appreciate that, Artie," Quinn said. "I'll see you guys soon."
"Bye, Quinn... oh, wait, what?" Again, she heard Artie talking to someone else. Then he said, "Mercedes has something else she needs to tell you. She asked for my phone again. Here she is."
"Hey, Quinn?" said Mercedes, taking over the phone once more. "Um, listen, I need to tell you something. DeShaun's coming home from college and he's decided to live at home and work awhile to save money. But, um, you're welcome to share my room. We can figure it out."
Oh, right. Quinn was getting pretty tired of constantly wondering where she was going to live, and she knew Mercedes' invitation probably wasn't meant to be indefinite. Still, she couldn't bear to just go back home to her mother. She was still so angry and so hurt over how she'd been abandoned in her time of great need.
"Or," Artie cut in, getting his phone back one more time. "You could have your own room in my old one at my house. Amy will be home this summer. My mom only uses it as an office some of the time, but she doesn't have to. You're welcome at my house, too."
And now she had two offers.
"Wow, thank you, Artie..." she trailed off, feeling like she needed time to think this over. She realized that Artie was offering this, even with his surgery coming up, the one he was still trying to keep a secret from everyone. "I'll... I'll let you know."
"Whatever you decide is fine," Artie said. "Bye, Quinn... take care."
"Bye, Artie."
As she hung up, she reflected again on how lucky she was to have this group of friends who still supported her. And how terrible it would be if they couldn't manage to hold onto these friendships, now that Glee club was going to be a thing of the past.
She unhooked herself from her pump, seeing that she had filled both four-ounce bottles to the brim. Beth didn't even eat more than an ounce or two per feeding, which meant that she now had several feedings worth to save, just from this one successful session.
"Wow!" Shelby looked up to see what Quinn brought with her from where she'd settled in the living room, rocking Beth and feeding her from one of the bottles that Quinn had prepared earlier. "You can take those into the kitchen for now. We might want to bag it up and start the freezer stash tonight."
Quinn obliged and carried them into the small kitchen that was directly off of the small living room. She slipped the bottles into the fridge and then returned, sitting in a chair across from Shelby. For a minute, Shelby looked like she was conflicted about whether to offer Beth to Quinn or not. Quinn spared her the task of offering for now by standing up and striding around the living room. Where most people might have hung family pictures, Shelby mostly had pictures of the casts of her various Broadway shows.
"My life," Shelby explained, with a sigh as she looked around. She picked up one picture frame on the coffee table, though, and handed that to Quinn. It showed a younger Shelby, in a hospital bed, cradling an infant in her arms, obviously Rachel.
"And now you get to have this life," Quinn said, smiling warmly as she passed the photo back to her. She gave a little nod to Shelby and Beth. "You look like a natural, Momma."
"Do you... do you want to hold her for a little while though?" Shelby said, and then by way of trying to make her comfortable, added, "I need to go start dinner. Hope you like spaghetti with store-bought sauce. I'm not much of a cook."
"Sure," Quinn said, as she accepted the baby and the half-finished bottle that Beth was slowly working on, in between falling asleep. She settled back into the chair and stared at the beautiful child that had somehow come from she and Puck.
"Welcome home, baby girl," she whispered.