GOTHAM CITY

OCTOBER 13TH 2010 17: 47 EST

Betty had been baking and cooking non-stop since she returned to Gotham City. Pancakes, cupcakes, muffins, even pies were being churned out of the Bryons kitchen. Betty had dipped into the supplies for the Cookie Cutter Diner, so she had been quick to have Jason bring her results back downstairs to be sold, as long as some of it was put aside for the little boy to eat.

She had been in this constant state of baking for nearly three whole days, with only brief respites of sleep to get her through another dad dash of sweets making. Jason had at first tried to get her to stop but found that he was powerless to do anything but watch his friend spiral with her cooking and baking. Aunt Melody was only a bit more successful, being the one to convince her to go get some sleep.

Not that the sleep was all that helpful. It was just a few restless hours of tossing and turning, images of the training exercise flashing every time she closed her eyes. More specifically, the moment Artemis was disintegrated in front of her. It would be the same thing over and over again – Betty watching, frozen, calling for Artemis to run or trying to reach her or anything, anything that would stop Artemis from dying in front of her again. But every time, her scream was silent and her run just a bit too short. Never enough to save her.

And every time it happened, Betty would feel that striking sense of fear and loss so severe that it would shock her awake, and she would be left with that overwhelming sense of hopelessness. She would have to remind herself that it wasn't real, that Artemis was off in Star City with her uncle and not dead.

Betty wondered how long it would before the dreams disappeared. It took her what felt like forever to get rid of the nightmares of her mother dying. How long would it be to get the images of Artemis out of her head?

So, it was better to stay awake and bake. Aunt Melody had tried telling her to go to school, but Betty had only stared blankly and said in no uncertain terms she was not going. The mere thought of leaving the walls of the apartment nearly sent her spiraling, and so Betty had resigned herself to not leaving for the foreseeable future. And though Betty had no divulged what had happened at the Cave three days ago, her aunt could tell she was shaken and had decided not to push the issue until further notice.

Even her Honeybee duties had been neglected since she returned. Though wearing her suit had just been an illusion, something in her head, she could not help but associate her mission suit with what had happened. It was a small comfort to have two other vigilantes in the city, there to watch out for others, but how many crimes would be committed because Betty refused to put on the suit? How many victims would there be because she was too cowardly to face what happened to her?

Betty shook her head and dropped the chocolate chips into a fresh set of muffin bread dough, stirring a bit too aggressively as she turned to look over the cooling cookies on the cooling rack.

"Jason, would you mind bringing these down to Aunt Melody?" Betty asked, deciding they had been cooled accordingly.

Jason, who had been watching her warily for the past hour, stood from his spot on the couch and walked slowly over to where Betty was continuing to stir the batter.

"Betty?" Jason stopped by the counter, tilting his head to the side and his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Hmmm?" Betty answered. She reached for the cookie tin to put the cooled sugar cookies in, not even looking up at him.

"What's wrong?" Jason said simply. Betty froze, nearly dropping the metal tin on the floor. She turned her head to face him and stared at him blankly.

"What?"

"Something's wrong," Jason insisted. "Y-you're not going to school and baking all this food and you've been…..so quiet, you're not talking to anyone, not even Miss Melody."

Betty shook her head. She set down the cookie tin and picked up the batter bowl to pour it into the pan for muffin bread. She couldn't unload this on Jason, and besides, it's not like he could know about the Team anyway. Covert and secret after all.

"I'm fine," Betty lied, and not very convincingly. Jason hesitated and then walked around the small kitchen island to where Betty stood making the muffin bread. He looked up at her with wide, sincere eyes and a frown.

"I can tell when you're lying Betty," Jason countered. "You always bite your lip. So didn't give me that nothing's wrong bullshit."

"Language," Betty tried weakly, but Jason did not take the bait to change the subject so easily. Instead, he kept staring up at her, demanding an answer. Betty sighed and put down the bowl she was holding, running a hand through her raven hair.

"Something…...happened, when I was Honeybee a few days ago," Betty hesitantly started. "And it...shook me, a little bit. But I'm fine, really."

Jason raised a brow. "You're missing school."

School was one of the few things that Jason was still able to find complete joy in. Betty supposed compared to his rocky personal life, the structure and constant of school offered him a place to escape. And it certainly didn't hurt that Jason was a curious kid who always wanted to know more. To Jason, missing school willingly was the biggest cry for help there was.

"I just need some time to myself," Betty replied. Jason hesitated again, but then reached to put a hand on her arm. Jason looked older and wiser than a ten-year-old should look, with wide, compassionate blue eyes and a deep, worrisome frown.

"You can tell me what happened," Jason said softly, comfortingly. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

But the Team was not just her secret. Could she trust Jason to keep it? Could she put another secret of this magnitude on his shoulders? No, it wouldn't be fair to him. He was only ten. Maybe, however, an edited truth would do the trick.

"Me and some of my hero… friends," Betty started, "had a training exercise. It went bad, and someone got hurt."

It was the truth, technically. Everyone on the Team was her friend, and they had had a training exercise that went bad. And someone got hurt – more specifically, all of them. All of them thought they had died and watched as their loved ones fell before them. Honeybee had watched as Artemis was disintegrated mere feet from her, and she knew that Kid Flash and Robin had died in an fiery explosion from the whole briefing they had to do. And Miss Martian…..M'gann was inconsolable, blaming herself for the whole thing.

Jason took this in slowly, processing it visibly as his mouth twitched from a flat line to a frown and then back and forth for a few seconds.

"Was it your fault?" Jason wondered softly. Betty shook her head.

"It was no one's fault."

M'gann could not be held responsible for what happened. Her friend was still untrained in many ways, and she had not meant to hurt them. There was no way to know that M'gann even had the telepathic ability to alter their memories to make them think it was real. M'gann was only a teenager, just like them, and was as sweet as pie. She wouldn't hurt a fly unless it bit her first, there was no way she would ever mean to hurt them.

"So…it was an accident?" Jason said. Betty nodded.

"Yes, yes it was."

Jason slithered his hand down to connect his hand with her own and gave it a gentle squeeze of affection.

"Then you need to stop worrying," Jason counseled. "I mean, whoever it is will be fine, right?"

Would they be fine? Betty didn't know when they would be. There was no guideline or timetable for something like this.

"With time, yes," Betty eventually settled on. How much time, Betty was not sure about. A few more days? Weeks? Months? It was hard to say.

"Then don't worry so much about it." Jason eyed the baking materials warily and then reached for one of the cookies, handing it out to Betty to take. Betty took it form his hand reluctantly. "Have a cookie. This guy or girl that got hurt will be fine and missing out on the rest of your daily life will just make you worry more."

Betty shut her eyes, holding the cookie to her chest as she thought over what Jason said. All of them would be fine, yes, but it would take work and time. Work and time that Betty was not unsure any of them had – who knew when the next mission was going to fall into their lap? When was the next catastrophe going to strike? And would they be ready for it when it came, or too wrapped up in their heads? Would Betty be ready?

Betty opened her eyes and looked down at the small cookie in her hands. Baking had made her feel in control, she was the one in charge of the ingredients and how long it baked and everything about it was hers. There was no way it was going to be manipulated or changed without her knowing. No way it was going to spiral out of control so fast she could hardly keep up. And there was no time to feel, it was do, do, do without much time to think about what was going on in her head. Actions. Thoughtless actions to distract her.

But was that really what she needed? Wouldn't her time be better served at least trying to be normal? Trying to move past the exercise? Past Artemis's "death"?

Betty sighed and took a bite of the cookie, managing to get out a weak smile.

"When did you get so smart Jason?" Betty asked, ruffling his hair. Jason swatted away her hand, brows pinched together in aggravation.

"Someone's got to make up for your lack of common sense," Jason retorted. "Might as well be me."

Betty laughed quietly, almost too soft to hear and reached for the cookie tin again.

"Come on, the muffin bread will be the last thing I bake," Betty said. Jason finally returned her smile and started to pile the cookies into the container happily.

"Victory!" Jason cried. Betty rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair again, and he stepped away from her, looking every bit the pendulant little brother.

I'm sorry, but I'm just a girl
Not usually the kind to show my heart to the world
I'm pretty good at keepin' it together
I hold my composure, for worse or for better
So I apologize, if you don't like what you see
But sometimes my emotions get the best of me

GOTHAM CITY

OCTOBER 17TH 2010 12: 23 EST

The Gotham Academy library was quiet, and Betty had sought refuge in it's solitude and silence. Though for Jason's sake she had been trying to make a good attempt to reintegrate back into her life following the exercise, but it was harder than even she had imagined.

Down every corridor she looked, she would see ruins in place of the structures in front of her. Twisted metal of lockers, wooden doors cut in half with splinters scattered on the linoleum floor. For a flash of second, she expected everything and everyone to be gone and for the Earth from the exercise to materialize in front of her. Every shadow out of the corner of her eye was an alien ship here to destroy her and everyone she loved again, but this time for real. The chatter of her classmates was like the zooming of the ships or the explosions she had witnessed. There was no rest and no peace, try as she might to move past it.

Given that the epicenter of the noise was the lunchroom, she chose to bypass the cafeteria and just eat a peanut butter sandwich in the library. Everything was just much softer in a library, the air was crisp with the smell of books both new and old, and there was an almost melodic tune to the way the clocks tick toked. It made Betty feel much more…. centered, less like she was about to fly out of her seat because she thought she saw an alien.

Betty took another bite of her sandwich and scribbled down an answer to her science homework. She figured if she was here, she might as well get some work done while she was at it. She had already completed her math homework – rotations on a four-quadrant plane, come on, give her something hard to do – and had set out upon her science work to bide the time until her next class.

Betty turned the page in her textbook and flinched back at the picture of an eel staring at her straight on. Betty had opted for Marine Biology instead of regular Biology when selecting her class schedule, which meant all kinds of creatures popped up in her textbook. There were even a few in tanks in her classroom, such as Fluffy the Beta Fish. Most of the time, she was fine with it. After all, after everything she had stared down as Honeybee a picture of a shark or a particularly nasty-looking fish was no big deal.

But there was something about the eel, the way it's body was dark grey and stretched out like the ray guns of the alien ships she had encountered in the exercise. Betty shut her book and scooted her textbook away from her, not in the mood to deal with something that reminded her of the exercise. She would finish the work later.

Betty was about to pull out her novel for English class, White Noise, when she heard a voice speak behind her.

"Hi," said Dick, standing in between two shelves in front of the alcove Betty had found a table in. Dick had been more subdued the past few days. While every once in a while Dick would crack a joke or smile, he had been much quieter. Less likely to be the first to speak. He had not even volunteered an answer in their math class once in the past few days, and most of the time the teacher would ask him to stop raising his hand.

"Hi," Betty replied, unsurely.

"C-ca-can I sit?" Dick asked. Betty nodded, and Dick took the seat across from her. They sat in silence for a moment that seemed to stretch on forever, when the boy coughed and scratched the back of his neck.

"How are you doing?" Dick continued, and Betty shrugged. She was pretty sure Dick would call her crazy if she started telling him she was down in the dumps because she saw fake aliens everywhere. She would, if someone told her that.

"Okay, I guess. You?" Betty returned, and the young boy nodded, still not smiling his usual toothy grin.

"Ye-yeah, I'm good," Dick said. It was silent for another long moment, and Dick seemed to be on the edge of saying something, his mouth forming and reforming, leaned forward in his seat. Betty watched him for a moment, unsure what he was about to say, before he decided not to speak at all, reaching to get a book out of his bag.

Oh no, you can't dress it up in lace or rhinestones
Don't matter if you're in a crowd or home all alone
Yeah, it's all the same when you're lookin' in the mirror
A picture of pain
So let it flow like a river

GOTHAM CITY

OCTOBER 20TH 2010 2:37 EST

"Honeybee," a voice said in the darkness. Honeybee turned from where she stood on the rooftop, watching over her old street in the Narrows. It was, for once, a night a little light on crime here in Gotham, and she had only had to stop two muggings two hours apart.

And it made sense why, since there was Batman in front of her. This part of the Narrows had slowly become her territory, and Batman and Robin only did a cursory patrol through just to let them know they were still there. Lurking in the shadows, that the two of them would be there if Honeybee was gone, which she had been for a while. With Waspia now gone too, having that insurance was a godsend sometimes.

"Batman," Honeybee greeted. Batman stepped forward our of the shadows, his dark black cape billowing behind him. Batman had a customary frown, but there was a concerned edge to it, an edge that Honeybee was not expecting him to have. In fact, she wasn't expecting him at all. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to speak with you," Batman answered. Batman kept a safe distance from her, just a little over an arm's length away, just enough to be non-confrontational but not enough to be friendly. Honeybee crossed her arms but did not step away, remembering the deal they had made. "About the exercise."

The air turned tense immedailty, and Honeybee's scowl was one made of ice. She took a step back, fists clenching at her side.

"What about it?" Honeybee ground out.

"I wanted to see how you were doing," Batman said. He stepped forward again and reached out a hand like he was going to put it on her shoulder, but retracted it at the last second, wary. "I know what happened was –"

"Terrible?" Honeybee interrupted. She scoffed. "Yes, I remember, I was there. And I'm fine. So, you can go." Honeybee already knew Batman could tell she was lying; the trick was whether he was going to call her bluff.

"Honeybee, it's alright to be upset," Batman said slowly, measuredly, as if checking each word was right as he said it. "I made a promise –"

"To look after me, I know." Honeybee crossed her arms and turned away from the older hero. "Well, you did, so you can leave me alone now."

Honeybee knew she was being unfair. Batman was making an honest effort to reach out to her, to check on her after the hell she went through a week ago. A mature person would thank him and tell him the truth. But Betty was fourteen years old, and she was far too upset to be thinking clearly.

Honeybee heard a sigh behind her and the ruffle of movement as he came closer to her.

"I know I'm not the person you want to talk to," Batman admitted, "but I'm here. I'm here, if you need me." He put a hesitant hand on her shoulder, and Honeybee had half a mind to tear herself away. But she couldn't, something rooted her to the spot. A secret part of her dared to admit that it felt nice to have him looking after her.

A moment of silence washed over them, nearly drowning them in tension. Honeybee supposed this was the moment where Batman was testing where the limits of this aloof relationship were. Was Honeybee going to speak with him honestly? Or was she going to keep pretending she was fine? Whatever decision she chose, it would be determined by what she said next.

So, she chose not to speak.

Batman heaved another great sigh and let go of her shoulder. He stepped away from her, and back into the shadows of the night.

"I'm here. When you're ready."

And then he was gone.

You can't turn off the flood when the dam breaks
When all your mascara is goin' to waste
When things get ugly
You just got to face that you can't cry pretty

MOUNT JUSTICE

OCTOBER 23RD 2010 16:47 EST

Honeybee stared at Black Canary, trying to figure out what the older woman wanted her to say, to do. Black Canary sat primly in her seat, hands resting on the arm rests the green chair had and her legs crossed. Honeybee, by comparison, looked completely non-put together, sitting on the edge of her seat while her legs bounced, and she fiddled with her fingers.

Batman had recalled the Team back to the Cave for the first time since the exercise but had told them there was no need for mission suits. This was a therapy session for all of them, to help them process with Black Canary what they went through, so civvies were the much more appropriate thing to wear.

Honeybee was one of the first to go, going right after Superboy. Honeybee had no idea how his had went, he hadn't returned to the lounge area with them after his session. Honeybee supposed maybe he went to his room, but she knew her friend better than that. He was most likely off sulking somewhere until he came to his senses, then he would return and talk to Black Canary again. It was pretty much his M.O. at this point.

Honeybee adjusted her sunglasses, and then returned to playing with her fingers, staring at Black Canary with nerves and worry.

"I've-I've never done anything like this before," Betty said. "Therapy or counseling and stuff. I'm – I'm not sure what you want me to do."

Black Canary smiled warmly.

"I don't want you to do anything but be honest with me," Black Canary replied. "Anything you say in this room stays in this room." Betty eyed the door to the hallway.

"Anything?" Betty asked. Black Canary nodded.

"Anything," she confirmed. "This is a safe space where you can talk about what you experienced. I won't judge you, and you're free to leave any time you want. All I ask is that you answer my questions as honestly as you can."

Honeybee folded her hands in her lap and looked up at Black Canary, sizing up if she believed her or not. The League was infamous on secrets and keeping them hidden away where other can't find them. What if the League was just going to take what she said and use it against her somehow?

"Let's start with an easy one: how are you feeling?"

Easy? That was far from easy. Honeybee was feeling too many emotions all at once to be counted. Angry at herself for not realizing sooner what was happening. Angry at the League for not doing enough to stop it. Upset that she just stood by and let Artemis fall. Traumatized by what she saw happen to Artemis. Shocked at herself, that she had accepted death so easily. And—and –

"Jealous," Honeybee decided. Black Canary raised a brow.

"Jealous?"

"Yes." Honeybee nodded. "When-when I woke up, everyone still had their loved ones waiting on them. And-and I have people I care about, but-but my mentor? My-my mother? She's gone. And there's no secret telepathic whatever that magically is going to bring her back."

Black Canary nodded, face and voice impassive as she continued.

"So you're jealous of your teammates?" Black Canary said. Betty bit her lip and looked down at her knees, not willing to look the older hero in the face.

"Yes," Betty answered. "I-I don't want to be. I know it's-it's wrong to feel this way."

"Honeybee, whatever you're feeling, it's valid," Black Canary said. "It's normal to feel jealous. You're not a bad person for feeling this way."

"But I –"

"There are no buts, Honeybee," Black Canary interrupted. She smiled at Honeybee widely. "Feeling isn't a bad thing. The important thing is that we acknowledge our feelings and work past them."

Honeybee fiddled with the rim of her glasses, readjusting them again, and looked back up at Black Canary. She hadn't wanted to admit to herself nor anyone she was jealous of everyone else. That their mentors and loved ones were all back, not really dead. It made her feel…. dirty. Wrong. Like she was a bad person for wishing someone was like her and knew the sting of loss the way she did.

How could she not be a bad person for feeling that way? Good people didn't want that. Good people were selfless, putting others before themselves and not letting their personal feelings cloud their judgement. And Honeybee was incapable of that.

"I just want my mom back," Honeybee whispered softly. "I miss her."

Black Canary's eyes shone, and a smile of remembrance crossed her face.

"I miss her too," Black Canary said. "She was a good friend, and a great hero." Honeybee had forgotten that the League had lost a hero that day today, and that the members had lost an ally and a friend. She was sure that they must have grieved too. "Honeybee, I wish I could tell you your mother would come back to you, but I can't." Black Canary sighed and got up from her chair and knelt down in front of Honeybee.

"Honeybee, you're still grieving," Black Canary murmured. "You're going to feel things like jealousy and anger, and that's fine." Honeybee felt the pinpricks of tears collect in her eyes, and she wiped at them to keep them from falling from her cheeks. "What happened to all of you wasn't fair, and it certainly isn't fair it's opening old wounds for you." Black Canary put a hand on her knee. "What's important is that you're here now and people are here to help if you just let them."

Honeybee absorbed this for a moment, still wiping at her cheeks.

This had to be wrong somehow. Their had to be a show that dropped, and it was revealed once again she was a bad person for the way she felt. She couldn't be jealous that her friends had people to rely on, people to love, that felt wrong. Like she was coveting something sacred.

But she was jealous. Their was no way around that fact. She was jealous that M'gann still had her uncle. That Kid Flash had his mentor and sister back, and that Aqualad still had his home in Atlantis to return to. Robin still had Batman. The only one who woke up to nothing like her was Superboy, but at least Superman was still out there, somewhere. Waspia was completely gone.

Betty had loved ones. She loved Aunt Melody, and Jason had become her little brother in the time she had known them. But they weren't Mom. They didn't understand what being a hero entailed or the pressures of her double life. They didn't build their life from the ground up following Ivo's departure form their lives. It just wasn't the same. Nothing was the same anymore.

"I'm tired," Honeybee said. "Tired of… tired of feeling this way. Angry and upset and jealous."

Black Canary squeezed her knee gently.

"We can't control how we feel. All we can control is how we react to what we feel. If you don't like feeling this way," Black Canary said, "then next time you start, think of something happy about your Mom. Remind yourself of all the good times. Acknowledge that you're upset, and then try and change the way you think." Black Canary tilted her head to the side. "Do you have any good memories of your mom?"

Honeybee smiled. "Yeah, I do."

Betty had been maybe eight years old. She and her mother had been strolling through the Gotham park, when Betty had spotted an ice cream cart. She had wanted one so bad, but she had also known money was tight since her dad left. She didn't need it, so she wasn't going to say anything.

But her mother had different plans. She had spotted it too and immedailty waved the man down for a vanilla ice cream cone for them to share.

"But Mom, what about –"

"It's a treat, my little honeybee," her mother had said, smiling toothily and hugged her close as they waited for the ice cream man to make it. Her mother took the cone from the man and immedailty took her finger and used it to slide a bit of ice cream down Betty's noise, which had caused Betty to laugh.

"Mom! Ice cream is for eating!" Betty had giggled. Her mom had laughed with her and then went on their way to a bench to share.

It was a simple memory, one not all that impressive or even something all that memorable. But she remembered how much not having money had impacted them back then. Ivo had taken it all with him, making them have scrape to get by. But Mom had….Mom had gotten them a treat. Reminded them of the goof in life, the warmth and joy that came from simple pleasures that came from sharing an ice cream.

"Thank you, Black Canary," Honeybee said. Black Canary nodded and stood back up, returning to her chair. "I'll – I'll try to do what you told me. See if it helps."

"That's all you can really do, Honeybee. All you can do is try."

Honeybee remembered the way the ice cream had felt cold on her nose and smiled. Maybe trying wouldn't be so hard.

You can pretty lie
And say it's okay
You can pretty smile
And just walk away
Pretty much fake your way through anything
But, you can't cry pretty

Chapter Bible Verse:

"Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." – Acts 2:38.

This chapter is one I'm proud of, because I really like exploring character's reactions to trauma. I wish in the show we had seen more how the trauma affected their daily interactions, but I understand why we didn't. So, I did it here with Honeybee, and I hope y'all liked it! Let me know what y'all think!

And I realized I incorrectly stated that Iris and Wally were brother and sister in the last chapter. Seeing as this is just a minor change, I'm just going to roll with it, as it doesn't really affect anything major.

Song excerpts are from "Cry Pretty" by Carrie Underwood

Review Replies:

MsRosePetal: No, don't be sad! I still have a lot of stuff planned for Dick and Betty, it just won't be romantic. They just didn't match the way I feel Conner and Betty did, so that's why I changed it. Thank you for leaving a review and have a blessed day!

Questions, comments, or concerns? Let me know! Have a blessed day!

-PrincessChess