Her surgery that day had been particularly difficult. She'd been in the OR since eight that morning, and Brian had disappeared around halfway through. She wasn't sure where he had gone or why, but she didn't have time to think about that. She'd almost lost her patient five times, and she wished Derek had been in there with her. They way they worked together was exactly what she'd needed in there with her.
So far, the young girl seemed to have pulled through, but they wouldn't know about any deficits she might have until she woke up, if she woke up. Meredith really couldn't say at this point, and all she really wanted to do was go lay down and sleep.
She left the girl's parents with one of the nurses to show them to her, looking for the nearest unoccupied call room so she could just breathe for five minutes. Everywhere seemed to be locked and she just needed to sit down. She found an empty desk at the nurses' station and sat down, lowering her forehead onto her arms on the table.
"Hey, everything okay?" Derek's voice came out of nowhere after a few moments.
"Tired, nowhere to lay down," she mumbled, not moving.
"You did really amazing in that surgery," he said after a moment of silence between them, and she was pretty sure he'd moved to sit in the chair next to her.
"You saw?" she asked as she sat up, covering her mouth as she yawned, "I didn't see you, I'd have asked you to join me."
"You didn't need me," he chuckled softly, "You had it pretty well handled. I watched most of it from the gallery."
"It didn't feel like that sometimes," she shrugged, "The way we work in the OR… you know what I'm thinking of doing before I have to say it. I could've done with that."
"Well, we've got all day in the OR tomorrow, wouldn't want you to get sick of me," he joked, gently nudging her side.
"You make a valid point," she laughed softly, turning her chair to face him, pulling one leg up on to the chair with her arms wrapped around it.
"You're supposed to say you'd never get sick of me," he frowned mockingly.
"I mean, maybe I'd get sick of you? Depends if your daughter was around," she shrugged, her chin resting on her knee.
"Why? You like her company more than you like mine?" he feigned hurt, his hand against his chest as he poured playfully.
"Is that really so shocking?" she laughed softly, running her fingers through her hair as she started to take the plaits out.
"You have a point, but don't you think she got all her best traits from me?" he cocked his head slightly, his eyes tracking the movements of her fingers through her hair.
"I hope so," she grinned softly at him, trying to ignore the slight blush on her cheeks.
"Ready to go?" she heard Brian just as he turned the chair round, and she gasped, grabbing on to the armrests as her breath escaped her.
"Bri! Don't do that," she frowned up at him, more irritated than she probably should've been.
"Will coffee and brownies make up for it?" he asked, grinning softly at her as he held out a paper bag and takeaway cup.
"Well… yeah, probably," she grinned softly, taking the bag from him, pulling one of the brownies out and taking a bite. An involuntary moan rose from the back of her throat as she tasted the chocolate melting on her mouth, her eyes closing a moment as she savoured the taste, flicking her tongue out over her lips.
"Good, right?" he grinned at her as she opened her eyes again, and she didn't miss the telltale sign of arousal as his eyes darkened slightly.
"Where are these from?" she asked, covering her mouth slightly, trying to ignore the feeling of Derek watching their interaction.
"Bakery down the road, looks new," he shrugged, putting the coffee cup down on the table in front of her as he perched on the desk.
"You should try this," she said as she turned to face Derek again, offering him the brownie, almost feeling guilty. She hadn't even told him she was trying again with Brian. As far as he knew, Brian was just an old friend.
"I really don't eat chocolate," he chuckled, shaking his head.
"Wait, you at least feed Maddie chocolate right?" she raised an eyebrow at him, grinning softly.
"My dad makes sure she gets her chocolate intake," he rolled his eyes, grinning back at her as though he couldn't help himself. .
"Add me to that list, give this to your daughter," she passed the bag over to him that contained the remaining brownie, biting her lip slightly as their fingers brushed. It was too easy to pretend they were alone when she was talking to him.
"I'll make sure she knows it's from you," he chuckled, taking the bag, "You should head home and get some sleep after today, we have an early surgery and we'll be in there for a pretty long time."
"I was gonna stay," she shrugged, "I have a patient in recovery, I usually stay the night, I just hadn't found an on call room yet."
"I came to take you home," Brian said, running his hand over her hair and she turned to look back at him, a slight lump in her throat.
"You know I normally stay," she frowned slightly, trying to refrain from rolling her eyes.
"I'll keep an eye on her," Derek said from behind her, "I'm staying overnight anyway, Maddie's at my mom's."
"Are you sure? You don't mind?" she asked, turning to him again.
"I don't mind. Go on, get some sleep," he smiled softly, "I'm going to go see Maddie before my mom picks her up, I'll let you know what she thinks about the brownie."
"Okay, tell her I said hi," she smiled back at him, "See you in the morning."
"See you," he said, nodding to Brian before he headed off.
"Come on, let's get you home," Brian said, pressing a kiss against the top of her head as his hand drifted over her upper back a moment.
Her eyes lingered on Derek's back a moment as he walked away, wishing she could've spoken to him for a little longer. She knew she shouldn't feel like this, she should be wanting to see Brian, looking forward to spending the night with him. Instead she couldn't felt the guilt that wracked through her.
It had been a pretty quiet night, and he'd actually managed to get a decent night of sleep while on call. He'd routinely checked up on Meredith's patient, who had woken deficit free around 3am, and he'd tried to call her, but after getting no answer figured it could wait until the morning. The spinal surgery she was joining him on was due to start at eight, and it was approaching half six so he figured she'd be in soon.
He sat in his office, getting a start on some of his paperwork before he would join the residents for rounds. He still needed to choose one of the residents to join them on the case for the day, but none of them had really stood out thus far. He sat back in the chair, running his hand over his face just as his phone started ringing.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Hey, is everything okay? I had a missed call, I'm on my way in now," Meredith's hurried voice sounded on the other end.
"Everything's fine. She woke around three this morning, no obvious deficits and waiting on the MRI which should be getting done any minute now," he reassured her.
"I'm sorry, I was sleeping and normally my phone wakes me up but I must've been really tired, or…" she sighed softly as her voice trailed off, and he heard the engine starting of her car.
"It's okay, don't worry about it, Mer. I just rang in case you were up and wanted to hear the good news, no harm done," he chuckled softly, "I'll let you go, meet me on rounds?"
"Yeah, I'll meet you there. Thank you," she breathed before ending the call.
He left his office, heading down to the coffee cart in the main lobby, fully intending on greeting Meredith with her daily mocha latte. Maddie was due to call him soon, and he kept checking his phone to make sure he didn't miss the call. His mom had picked her up from daycare yesterday and she'd be staying at his parents' for a few days, until the marathon surgery had finished. Knowing his mom, she'd make him sleep before he picked his daughter up as well. After having not seen his daughter in person for two months, he hated having these few days without her, and he needed to start thinking of how he was going to make up for it.
"Hey," Meredith approached him, slightly breathless as he picked up their coffees.
"Hey, everything okay?" he chuckled slightly, passing over hers as he noticed her slightly disheveled look, as though she'd basically just woken up and climbed in the car to get here as fast as she could.
"Yeah, oh, thanks," she smiled softly, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she took it from him, "Just trying to get here as quick as I could."
"You didn't need to rush," he shook his head slightly, sipping his coffee, "I'm just waiting on a call."
"Can I throw my bag in your office? I don't actually have my own here," she laughed slightly, drinking her coffee, "I normally used my mom's or Cristina's, but we're working together anyway, it might be easier, but if it I can go find Cris…"
"Yeah, of course you can, let's go," he smiled at her, and they started making their way to his office.
"How was your night on call?" she asked as they walked side by side, and as his fingers brushed her arm slightly, he couldn't not think about moving his arm around her, keeping contact as they walked.
"Pretty quiet," he shrugged as they stepped onto the elevator, "How was your night?"
"It was uneventful," she said as she leaned back against the wall, seeming not quite fully in the conversation.
"Did you at least get some sleep?" he asked as he stood beside her, holding his coffee cup in both hands.
"Yeah, some," she nodded, looking down at her coffee cup.
"Good," he glanced at her, sipping his coffee again, not quite sure what to say, he just knew he wanted to keep talking to her.
"Hmm, how's Maddie?" she asked, bringing the cup to her lips.
"She should be calling any minute now," he grinned softly as the elevator stopped.
"You said… ex-wife?" she asked in a quiet voice, "Doesn't she stay with her at all?"
"Haven't heard from her since she brought Maddie here. Left her with Mark and got off, I didn't even see her," he shook his head as they stepped off the elevator.
"Wait… really?" she frowned, keeping up with him as they walked down the hallway.
"I don't even have the right number for her. Apparently I'm supposed to wait for my lawyer to receive some paperwork but nothing has come through yet," he shrugged, opening the door to his office, "Put your things wherever."
He noticed she'd gone quiet as she put her things down on the couch, before sitting down herself, the frown still on her face as she was clearly deep in thought. He was going to ask why, but his phone started ringing and he pulled it out to see it was Maddie video calling from his Mom's phone.
"Daddy!" she giggled happily, and he could see the remnants of chocolate on her cheeks.
"Hey there, Princess," he grinned softly at her, "Did nana make you chocolate pancakes?"
"Yep," she giggled still, nodding her head, "Was yummy."
"And how did you sleep?"
"Good sleep," she informed him, mirroring his grin, "Miss you."
"I miss you too, baby girl, but I heard that Nana and Grandpa are taking you to the aquarium today, are you excited?"
"Yep! Gon' see fishes!" she gasped, her face lighting up like it did on Christmas morning.
"That definitely sounds exciting. Are you being a good girl?" he chuckled softly.
"Always, daddy," she confirmed, "Work daddy?"
"Yeah," he sighed, "I have a big surgery today, so we can't video chat but you can call me later on while I'm working if you want to."
"Tell 'bout fishes," she nodded, a thoughtful look on her face.
"Take lots of pictures with your camera too, okay?"
"Yeah!" she gasped, as though she hadn't thought of the idea before, "Blue fish daddy, purple fish Maddie, Markie orange, Addie 'ellow… Mer green."
"You're gonna find a fish for everyone?" he laughed softly, glancing to Meredith who seemed to be watching him with interest, a small smile on her lips.
"Uh-huh," she nodded, "Fish picture."
"That sounds lovely. Hey, want to say hi to Meredith? She's working with me today," he quickly glanced to Meredith whose eyes had widened slightly but she stood off the couch, moving closer toward him.
"Mer there?" she seemed more interested, making him laugh slightly, "Say hi daddy."
"Okay, she's here," he grinned softly, trying to ignore the urge to wrap his arm around Meredith as she stood next to him, her face appearing on the screen for Maddie.
"Hey, Maddie," she smiled at her.
"Hi Mer, you 'Kay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. How are you?"
"Good! Go see fishes with nana," she told her, an excited grin on her face.
"Oh wow, that sounds like loads of fun," Meredith laughed.
"Oh! Thank for brownie, daddy said from you," she giggled again, "It yummy."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"Daddy, nana says we gotsa go," she said with a sigh, "Love you moon and back."
"I love you to the moon and back, Princess. Have fun and be good for Nana, I'll speak to you later."
"Bye daddy, bye Mer!" she said, waving as the call ended.
"Your daughter is probably the cutest kid I've ever met," she laughed softly, still stood close beside him.
"I did say she got my good genes," he shrugged, chuckling slightly.
"If you say so," she rolled her eyes but was still grinning as she walked over to her bag.
"Is everything okay? You looked deep in thought when my phone rang," he said, moving round his desk to quickly check his emails.
"Yeah, I just…" she shook her head incredulously, crossing her arms over her chest as she leant against the arm of the sofa, "Your ex just walked away? Wanted nothing to do with Maddie?"
"Oh, yeah," he sighed, his hand running through his hair as he stood up straight, "I haven't heard from her. I don't know what I'm supposed to tell Maddie."
"I can't even… I mean I can, my dad walked out when I was five, but," she shook her head slightly before taking deep breath and picking up her scrubs, "I'm going to go change, I'll meet you and the residents in the patient room?"
"Yeah," he smiled toward her, "I'll see you there, and uhm, I'm sorry, about your dad."
"It's…. it was a long time ago," her smile back not quite reaching her eyes, "I won't be long, thanks for the coffee."
"Anytime, Mer," he said as she left the office.
He thought for a moment, wondering if the reason she'd gone quiet is because she appeared to have had some sort of a similar experience as a child to what Maddie was going through, and that maybe talking about it was bringing it back up. But from what little he knew about Meredith, she didn't tend to open up about the things that were really affecting her, and she'd freely shared that part of her life with him without there seeming to be any hesitation, so he couldn't help but think there was something more that had him losing her in her own head, and he couldn't help but feel worried for her. It was irrational to be, he knew that, and he wasn't stupid, he could clearly see there was more than friendship between Brian and her, and his daughter had taken over most of his priorities right now, but he worried regardless.