Alright next chapter is going to be a major turning point! Thank you all so much for hanging in there. Thank you for all the awesome reviews. Enjoy this chapter and the next one will be up real soon. Its getting so hard to tear myself away from this project now haha.

Trigger Warning - nightmares/ dissociating/one small mention of Regina's previous attempt/ Medication/PTSD

Chapter 24 Anonymous Tipper

The next day, Emma had arranged for Ruby to pick up Henry after his visitation with Regina. She needed to stay for the meeting about Regina going on antidepressants. Regina seemed to be nervous since Emma had mentioned it this morning and it wasn't until Henry had left the visitor's room that her hands started shaking and she became extremely anxious.

Regina stood by the table, watching as their son disappeared down the hall towards the lobby. Emma stood by her and gently took her shaking hand, hoping to offer just a bit of comfort. Regina looked at her apprehensively.

"You're not in trouble," she assured her. "It's just a meeting about your progress and the possibility of starting medication. You're ok, love. It's just going to be me, Archie, and Counselor Reyes. No one else."

"Do I even have a say in this?" she asked, her voice as vulnerable as her gaze. "What if I say no?"

"We need to have this meeting, Gina," Emma said honestly. "For the sake of your mental health and recovery, I can not sugarcoat anything. I believe you need to be on medication, but we will listen to you and take your choice into consideration. Nothing has been decided yet." Emma felt so nauseous as she stood there and had no choice but to be brutally honest with her girlfriend. Regina wouldn't benefit from being coddled. She won't get better if they don't do everything in their power to help her, and if that means starting her on medication then so be it. Of course, Emma would never just force her without talking to her. She wanted Regna to understand why they had decided this and consider her thoughts on it as well.

Regina nodded her consent, her eyes averting away from Emma as she considered the truth in her words. Emma squeezed her hand and guided her away from the door that Henry disappeared through. She led her to the one across the room that led into the rehabilitation center.

"Are you ready, love?" she asked.

Regina hesitated, and for a moment Emma thought she wouldn't respond. She hadn't realized she was holding her breath until Regina looked at her and nodded. She took a breath of relief as Regina allowed her to walk with her hand in hand to the counselor's office. She handed over her trust and Emma could only hope whatever decision they made wouldn't squash that.

When they entered the office, Counselor Reyes was seated at her desk. Archie was seated as well, on the other side with two empty chairs meant for the two women.

"Good afternoon," Counselor Reyes greeted them. "Come on in and have a seat."

"How are you feeling today, Regina?" Archie asked as Regina took a seat further from everyone else, leaving Emma in between herself and Archie.

"I'm fine," her voice clipped.

That wasn't a real answer, but Archie didn't push her any further. He got everything he needed from that short and clipped reply. By her body language, her wringing hands, and her avoidance of eye contact, he knew she was anxious. She wasn't discussing her feelings which meant she was most likely feeling vulnerable.

"Take a deep breath, you're in a safe space," he reminded her. Emma placed her hand on top of hers to calm the fidgeting. Once Regina seemed less distressed, they got started. Emma decided to bring up the first issue besides the meds that had been on the forefront of her mind since Archie had called yesterday.

"So the first issue I want to discuss is Dr. Williams," Emma spoke up, because she will not allow some arrogant doctor to continue to mistreat Regina in any way. Counselor Reyes nodded.

"Regina? Has Dr. Williams ever made a call that was inappropriate or talked to you in any way that made you uncomfortable or fearful?" she asked gently.

"He's very impatient and rude with me for not participating in the group therapy and had called me out on it infront of everyone more than once, but he's never made any rash calls or yelled at me. I am not more fearful of him than what is normal for my ptsd."

"So the only time he's ever ordered sedation was during your panic attack yesterday?"

Regina nodded.

Counselor Reyes nodded, wrote something down in a file and then typed something on the computer for a moment.

"Dr. Williams will be getting a warning and written up. He will also have no authority in your recovery or make any calls if a situation were to occur. He is to stay away from you and will not interact with you. Nurses and staff have been given orders to call me, Dr. Hopper, or Emma if they see him violating these terms or if they need to make a medical emergency decision."

"Thank you," Regina nodded.

"If you need anything, you can call me or Dr. Hopper from the nurses station or you can come down to my office," she assured her. "In replace of the group therapy, Dr. Hopper will be holding more one-on-one sessions instead. How does that sound?"

"I'm ok with that," she agreed. "I feel… safer with him," she confessed, making brief eye contact with her therapist before looking back at the older woman. Emma smiled proudly at her, squeezing her fingers in reassurance. Emma noticed she seemed better today even if she was anxious about the meeting. She was making eye contact and responding. She hasn't shut down once since Emma arrived. Perhaps today was one of her rare good days?

"You have 10 more days," Counselor Reyes smiled at her. "You're almost there. We're going to help make your recovery here as comfortable as possible. If anything else needs to be adjusted, let us know and we'll talk about it."

Regina took a shaky breath and nodded.

"Now, Regina I understand you been having alot of bad days lately," she continued on a more serious note, her brown eyes full of compassion for the anxious woman in front of her.

"Do you want to talk about those days, love?" Emma asked.

"I had one yesterday," she stated, looking at Archie. "Dr. Hopper talked me down from a panic attack. I opened up to him."

"You did, Regina," Archie acknowledged. "I'm very proud of you for that, but we are also very concerned. You seemed to have regressed back to old behaviors such as anger and frustration, you're dissociating more, and you're more fearful and anxious. Your depression is more prominent. We'd like to get you started on antidepressants."

"I don't want to be on medication," she shook her head and then looked at Emma with trusting dark eyes. "But I asked Emma to help me make the decisions when I'm not mentally capable. Some days I want to stay in bed and cry. Some days I want to go down to the prison and tear out Leopold's throat. Some days I don't feel like living. I can see why you all want me to be on medication. I'm starting to see it now, so I will consent even if I want nothing to do with it."

"Regina you may not see this as progress, but the fact that you are addressing our concerns and willing to go on medication despite not wanting to is a big step," Archie explained.

Regina's eye had grown teary and she was slightly trembling in her seat. She swallowed hard and looked at her therapist with big vulnerable eyes.

"It doesn't feel like it," she whispered.

"Regina," Emma said softly. "You're so strong. Going on antidepressants doesn't change that." Regina gave her a small smile, but even under the smile Emma could see she had trouble believing that. She reached out, gently placing her hand on her cheek and looking into her teary eyes. "You've never looked stronger, love."

Emma then retracted her hand and looked at Counselor Reyes who was watching the scene with a heartfelt expression.

"Can I stay with her? Just for tonight?" she asked. She didn't want her to be alone on her first night taking antidepressants. It was a big change and she didn't want her lying in her bed feeling anything but safe in the arms of someone she loved and trusted.

"Usually that isn't allowed, but considering the circumstances, I'm willing to allow it just this once."

Regina had perked up at that, her eyes glowing with a rare happiness. She squeezed Emma's hand tightly, and Emma looked over at her to see her smiling.

"Thank you," Regina had said to her counselor with sincerity, and as the meeting came to an end, Emma led Regina out into the hall while Counselor Reyes and Archie stayed to discuss some other matters.

The minute the door to the office was closed and they were alone, Regina suddenly hugged Emma so fast she nearly stumbled. The brunette held on so tightly, her face was buried into her shoulder and Emma could feel her body shaking. She couldn't tell if she was crying or not. Emma held her close, kissing her head, and comforting her the best she could.

"You're ok, love. Ssh, you're ok," she whispered.

"I miss you," Regina whispered.

"I take it you're happy I'm spending the night with you?" Emma laughed, leaning back a little so that she could see her. She raised Regina's chin with her hand and wasn't surprised to see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Yes, darling," she whispered happily and Emma kissed the smile on her lips. She held her in the hallway for a little longer, sensing Regina needed some comfort right now. It almost killed her that she had to leave to take care of Henry and pack a bag before coming back to stay. She always hated leaving her and she wasn't sure what mood Regina would be in when she got back. Would she still be so open or would she shut down like she has for the past week. Fearing Archie or Counselor Reyes would catch them still standing outside the office once they were done with their own meeting, Emma gently extracted Regina from her.

"Come on, love," she took her hand. "I'll walk you to your room."

They walked down the hall and into the rec room. It wasn't lost on Emma that a lot of the patients shied away from Regina. She knew Regina could be scary when she was in evil queen mode. She herself had been a target to the woman's temper when she had first come to Storybrooke.

"Sooo… made any friends?" Emma asked as they headed down another hall that led to the patient rooms. Regina scoffed.

"I'm not here to make friends," she said in a typical Regina fashion. Even through the PTSD and depression, the proud Professor Mills was still inside her.

They made it to the room and Emma sat down on the edge of the bed, wanting to spend an hour at least with her before going on her way.

"I'm sorry we can't close the door," Regina said as she picked up a book from her desk. She sat by Emma and handed it over.

"That's ok, love," Emma assured her, understanding the open door policy. "Finished it already?" she asked in surprise when she took the book. She had just brought this book to her three days ago.

"When I'm not in therapy or hobby hour or whatever activity they have us participating in, there's not much to do but read."

"Would you like me to bring you another one?"

Regina nodded. "Surprise me?"

"You got it," she smiled smugly making Regina scowl, and Emma knew she wasn't amused. During the first days here, Emma had asked if she would like something to read and Regina said the same words, surprise me. As a way to cheer her up and get her to laugh, she brought her one of Henry's comics. Emma knew she loved it even if she claimed she wasn't amused by her immaturity. In some way she guessed it made her feel closer to Henry. "You read the whole thing in one day, babe," she laughed.

"I couldn't disappoint Henry," Regina shrugged.

"Do you want another comic book?" she asked.

"If you insist."

Emma gave her a look.

"Fine! But let Henry choose. You obviously don't know your superheroes."

Emma playfully rolled her eyes in faux annoyance. Regina was right though. She was never into superheroes and comics. She didn't grow up with access to them like Henry had. Regina was a total superhero nerd because of Henry even if she would never admit it.

"What's your favorite?"

"I don't have a favorite," she denied.

Emma couldn't help but laugh.

Regina smiled, shaking her head at her girlfriends antics. Emma gently cupped her cheek, and pressed a sweet kiss to those lips. This was the third time she's seen her smile today. It's been so long since she's smiled so many times in one day.

When they pulled away, Emma kept her hand on her cheek, caressing the soft skin. Regina leaned into her and placed her own hand on top of Emma's.

"There's that smile again," she whispered.

Emma stayed longer than she meant to. Even though she was coming back tonight it was hard to leave. Especially when Regina was having one of her rare good days. She wasn't shutting down or fearful like she was yesterday. Not even the meeting they had this morning had been enough to send her spiraling. She could see she was still anxious about taking the meds though and when the nurse came in with her first dose, Emma could see the slight flicker of happiness in her eyes go out like a candle.

Regina was still sitting on the bed beside Emma. Her body was trembling and her dark eyes had become frighteningly vacant, like she was emotionally distancing herself from the current situation of taking medication for the first time.

"Ms. Mills," the nurse approached her with a tray that contained a little plastic cup with a pill and another with water. "It's time for your first dose."

Regina jumped at her voice, immediately scooting back until her back hit the wall. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, as if she were desperately trying to disappear within herself.

Emma stood, shocked at the quick turn of emotions.

"Here, I'll do it," she offered, knowing Regina might respond better to her.

"I have to make sure she swallows it," the nurse informed her reluctantly, but nonetheless handed over the tray anyway. "I'll watch from here." Emma nodded in thanks and took the tray. She went over to the bed and set the tray on the bedside table.

"Regina," she said softly, trying to get her attention. She was dissociating and Emma was trying to pull her out of it. She sat beside her, her own back against the wall and gently pulled her into her arms. She was rigid and unresponsive. "You're ok, love. Breathe…"

Regina took a ragged breath, but still wasn't responding, so Emma gently pulled her in between her legs and held her close against her chest, trying to desperately ground her enough to come out of it.

"You're right here in my arms," Emma assured her. "You are safe. Let's answer the questions. Where are you? Who are you with? What do you feel?"

"Umm… I'm at the hospital," Regina finally responded, her voice shaking as she took in uneven ragged breaths. "I'm with Emma. You make me feel safe."

"Yes, baby that's it," Emma whispered, kissing her cheek and holding her close until her body was finally sagging against her. The nurse was watching with compassionate eyes and at Emma's nod, she went in and grabbed the tray and handed Emma the cup with the pill. Emma took it and held it in front of Regina.

"You can do it, I'm right here. You are safe."

Regina reached out with a shaking hand and took the cup. She hesitated.

"Do you want Archie here?" Emma asked, knowing she trusted her therapist almost as much as she trusted Emma. Regina shook her head and after a long moment she finally swallowed it.

"Good job, love," Emma whispered as the nurse handed her the water and she shakily swallowed it as well.

"I'm sorry Ms. Mills, but I need to check if you swallowed the pill."

Regina averted her gaze, not making eye contact as she opened her mouth and lifted her tongue.

"Thank you, honey," the nurse said softly and gathered the cups and put them on the tray. "Try getting some rest. Do you need anything?"

Regina shook her head, and Emma frowned in concern at the shift in her mood. She closed herself off again. The nurse nodded and left the room, leaving the two alone.

"Talk to me, love," Emma encouraged her.

"I'm tired," she mumbled, moving away from Emma's embrace and started getting under the covers. Emma got off the bed to give her some room. Maybe she'll sleep the whole time she is gone so she wasn't alone with her thoughts. She curled up under the blanket and closed her eyes. Emma's heart felt like it just completely shattered in her chest. Regina had ultimately agreed to go on meds, even if she wasn't completely ok with it. She understood why she needed to take them. Emma wondered what had caused her to dissociate and shut down. Maybe she was ashamed of having to be on medication and it didn't hit her until she had to actually swallow them. Maybe it was the loss of control? Emma wasn't sure.

"I'll be back, Gina," she whispered, gently smoothing dark hair behind her ear and then quietly leaving the room.

Emma hated leaving her. It never got easier. Even though she was coming back tonight, it was still so hard. Regina was always so disheartened when Emma and Henry had to leave. And from the looks of it today, Regina didn't have any friends. She was alone most of the day with her thoughts. She had Archie to talk to, but she was still alone. At least she wouldn't be alone tonight.

She drove to the diner where Ruby and Henry were waiting for her. She parked outside of Granny's, turned off the engine, and took a moment to breathe. She was actually still quite shaken by Regina dissociating. Now she was second guessing the decision of putting her on meds, just like she was second guessing every decision she had to make when it came to Regina's recovery. She felt like she was doing everything wrong. Regina wasn't getting any better, in fact she seemed to be getting worse. Even when it seemed like she was making the slightest progress, something would happen that would force her to take a step back.

She closed her eyes, her hands tightening on the steering wheel as she desperately tried to calm herself. She didn't want to walk into the diner, trembling and looking like she had just been crying. She had been silently crying since the moment she left the hospital. She tried to think of happy thoughts, something she usually did as a calming tactic since she was a foster kid in therapy. She thought of Regina. She thought of her smile. She thought of happy memories that weren't so weighed down by trauma.

She opened her eyes, checked the rearview to make sure her makeup wasn't smeared from her tears, and then with another calming breath, headed inside.

The moment Emma entered, she spotted Henry and Ruby sitting at a booth. They haven't ordered anything yet besides a mug of hot chocolate each. They were both absorbed in today's newspaper. A feeling of dread washed over her as she realized everyone in the diner was reading and talking about whatever was on the front page.

She headed over to the booth and sat beside Henry.

"What's going on?" she asked, trying to look over his shoulder.

"Spencer and Leopold stole money from the town it seems," Ruby said.

"What?!" She took the paper from Henry and her jaw dropped in shock. They used Leopold's mugshot and if she wasn't in so much shock she would have laughed. Spencer's photo looked as if they jumped out from behind a bush and got him by surprise. "Why am I not surprised?"

Her phone started ringing then. She pulled it from her pocket to see it was the station calling her. She frowned. She was off duty today, but then again this had to be about the headlines.

"Give me a sec," she said and stood, heading outside for some privacy with newspaper in hand. "Swan," she said into the phone.

"Emma, have you seen the paper?" David asked.

"Yup, a couple of old scumbags stealing town funds?"

"Mayor Midas wants us to arrest Spencer. I know it's your day off, I'm just calling to let you know Mulan and I got the warrant and are heading over to arrest Spencer right now."

"Thank you," she replied and then a thought came to mind. "Do you happen to know who tipped off the paper? Was it a confession?"

"The newspaper had an anonymous confession plus plenty of evidence. No idea who it was though, but it's enough to send Spencer away and add even more charges to Leopold's sentence."

"I wonder what the anonymous tipper gets out of this," she wondered. "Anyway, I'll be pretty busy tonight with some personal matters, but if you guys need anything call me."

"No worries, I think we'll be fine. Take care of her," he said, knowing exactly what she meant by personal matters. He hung up and Emma took a moment before going inside. She looked at the paper again, still wondering why this was coming out just now. What did the anonymous tipper get out of this?

Well at least Spencer got what was coming to him. Now she or Regina won't have to deal with him anymore. She slipped her phone back into her pocket, and with paper in hand, she went back into the diner.

"Spencer is getting arrested," she announced as she sat beside Henry once more.

"Serves him right," Ruby growled.

"Now mom won't have to be afraid of running into him anymore," Henry said, and those words might have possibly shattered Emma's heart more than it already was. She knew he was referring to the time when Spencer assaulted Regina in her classroom and had been the cause of the panic attack she had after.

"How is she, Em?" Ruby asked, her blue eyes so concerned for her former teacher. Emma didn't know what to say. Regina hasn't been doing great since nearly slitting her wrist last week. Emma just didn't want to upset Henry. She shook her head, her eyes going to her son and then back to her friend. Ruby gave her a small accepting nod, knowing what she was trying to say.

"She's trying to get through this," she said instead.

A waitress took their orders, but none of them seemed to have an appetite. Henry did perk up though when Emma informed him that she would be staying with Regina tonight and she had arranged a sleepover with the Zimmerman twins for him. He was excited to be with his friends and was relieved that his mother would be with Emma tonight. She also told him how Regina denied having a favorite comic book which made him laugh and had offered to give them to her to take tonight.

Emma and Henry had spent the day together going to the arcade and then getting some ice cream. It took their minds off of everything and when evening rolled around, Emma dropped off Henry and drove to the hospital. She had arrived just shortly after the patients had finished dinner and were doing whatever evening activities they did before bed. Emma headed to Regina's room with her bag over her shoulder and two comic books Henry had given her, knowing she'd most likely be there instead of sitting in the rec room with the others.

She entered the room and was surprised to see it empty. She placed her bag on the desk as well as the comic books and then stepped out into the hall and headed back into the rec room. She approached one of the supervising nurses.

"Have you seen Regina?" she asked.

"She's not in her room?" the nurse asked.

"No, any idea where she is?"

"Try counseling, sometimes she'll go down there to borrow the phone and talk to her father around this time."

Emma nodded, thanked the nurse, and headed towards the counseling offices. It was late, most of the counselors had already gone home, except for one. Counselor Hayes was the night counselor who was there if a patient needed someone to talk to in the night. She headed to the only open door and peeked in to see the older woman sitting at her desk, typing on the computer while Regina sat on the other side talking on the phone. She was speaking spanish and Emma guessed she was talking to her father. Even if Emma couldn't understand her, she could tell she was very worried from her tone and face.

She decided to head back to her room and wait for her there. Regina missed her father more than ever these days, and the minute she was released from the hospital she planned on taking her to visit him regardless if Cora approved or not. She had no right keeping them apart just because she didn't approve of her daughter's life choices.

While she waited for Regina, she went to the bathroom to change into her pajamas, brush her teeth and wash her face. By the time she came back to the room, Regina was sitting on the bed. Her eyes were teary as she looked up at Emma.

"Hi love," she greeted her worriedly and came over to the bed, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands. "What's wrong?"

"I was talking to my father on the phone and he didn't sound so good. He's really sick and I'm worried," Regina whispered. "I want to see him."

"I know you do. How about we visit him when you get out of here? Regardless of what Cora says."

"I'd like that," Regina nodded, and then reached out and caressed Emma's cheek. "You look beautiful." Emma couldn't help the amused chuckle from escaping her lips.

"I'm in my pajamas," Emma deadpanned, not quite believing that. Regina shrugged.

"And you still look beautiful," she whispered, kissing her lips. When they pulled away, she pulled Emma up and coaxed her to get under the covers with her.

"Babe, I think that cot in the corner over there was brought in for me."

"I don't care," she mumbled, snuggling into Emma and burying her face in between her shoulder and neck and placing a sweet kiss on warm skin. "The door is open, what are we going to do?"

Emma wrapped her arms around her and held her as close as she could. It's been so long since they've slept in the same bed together. They were practically hugging each other. "I've missed you so much," Emma whispered, pressing a kiss through dark hair.

"I've missed you too darling," Regina murmured, sounding dangerously close to sleep. "Did you bring the comic books?"

"You sound awfully concerned for someone who doesn't care about comics," Emma teased her. She felt her huff and couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, I did and Henry chose them."

"Thank you, sweetheart," she whispered, the endearment going straight to Emma's shattered heart and restoring it. She kissed her forehead and soon they were both asleep in each other's arms.

Emma was awakened in the middle of the night by the suddenly too warm body going rigid against her. At first she couldn't wake up enough to realize she wasn't dreaming. It wasn't until Regina's breaths became heavy and she started crying then she was able to fully wake up. She blinked the sleepiness from her eyes, looking at her distressed girlfriend in the dark room. The only light was from a dim light out in the hall, but even then the room was bathed in darkness.

"Regina, ssh… I got you," she whispered in her ear and held her close from behind with her back against her chest. "You're ok."

Regina was rigid against her, but her body shuddered with silent sobs. She could feel her squeezing her thighs together and Emma cursed under her breath. She could easily guess who the monster in her nightmare was.

"You're safe, love," she continued to whisper. "You're having a nightmare." She wasn't sure if she should wake her or let her ride it out. If she were to wake her, Regina would either wake up disoriented and afraid causing her to shut down or she might even panic and hurt herself or Emma by accident. So Emma just held her, trying to soothe her the best she could.

"No…" Regina mumbled, followed by some kind of pained groan.

"You're with Emma. You're safe," she continued to whisper in her ear. "You're ok, Regina." She wondered if she was having nightmares here alone every night. That thought made her throat seize up with a threatening sob, but she held in her tears. All that mattered was calming down the terrified brunette in her arms. "Breathe, love. You're ok," she assured her and after a few more whispered assurances, Regina's body finally relaxed against her and she once again fell into a calm state of sleep.

Emma sighed in relief and then whispered a curse word when her phone started vibrating loudly on the nightstand. She couldn't reach it with Regina half on top of her and she didn't want to wake her. Assuming it was the station, she decided not to worry about it till morning.