Jedova exited the Halls of Healing. He had had several appointments to Mind healers for the two weeks following his return from Kiros. This had been the penultimate appointment and hopefully the penultimate one to have him leave with a mixture of dread and relief. He had pushed himself too far on Kiros and gotten close to a point where he would have found himself looking into a too-familiar abyss.

To his relief, after the next appointment, he would have to go to the healers only once a month. He did not want to bother Arya with his frequent visits there even though the Padawan had noticed that something was amiss. However, the Padawan had no idea about his mental problems and Jedova wished to keep it that way; it was only between him, the healers and also the High Council when something was truly wrong. Besides, the poor girl was hardly even thirteen yet, a child by both human and Veledosian standards, and Jedova was not about to cause her undue stress with things she was far too young to deal with.

Speaking of the High Council, the councilors had not been too happy about his solo mission on Kiros, much less about the fact that the human Master had given them information as sparingly as he could. On the evening after his report, Phayeth had gone to his friend both to scold him about his actions — well-meaning but misguided words that did not take the Lianoros tribe's status into account — and talked about the recent events concerning Arya, sprinkled with warnings about what training a Veledosian could bring to him according to the Archives. Jedova had listened but also refused to give up training Arya; if the Veledosians had been trained as Jedi before, it would not be a problem to him to train the first Veledosian Jedi in four centuries, and, as he openly said to the councilor, it should not be a problem to anyone else, either.

Phayeth was still worried — his friend had an innate knack for getting himself in the way of trouble and danger — but at the end of the day he had to admit defeat. Interfering with the new team would bring more harm than good. With the words "You have been warned, Jedova Wang" he had left the table. On the next day, he had departed on a diplomatic mission on the behalf of the rest of the Council. To say that Jedova was concerned by his friend's responses to what had been going on was an understatement, but he resolved to trust that the Force would guide them all where it wanted them to go.

Arya was waiting for her Master by the entrance of the Halls of Healing. Jedova was aware that the girl knew where he had gone so often after returning from his mysterious mission, but her actually openly meeting him there was new. The Padawan's neutral expression gave way to the worry in her eyes when she saw her Master. The fear or risking their training bond raised its head just when she had gathered enough courage to confront Jedova about whatever was going on.

"What is it, Padawan?" Jedova asked when he realized that his apprentice would not be able to initiate the conversation.
"Master, I know that something is not right with you." Arya took deep breaths as she looked up to the far taller man. She felt so small and insecure, but she knew she had to take the topic up.

Jedova sighed. "I know that. But listen, young one, it's not your problem. I'm doing alright, and I am getting better all the time. You don't need to worry about me."

Arya looked down to the floor. It was the same answer every single time. Every single damn time. Had she not been concerned about the consequences, she would have gotten openly angry at the man.
Jedova walked closer to Arya and put his hand on her shoulder. "I mean it, Arya. I am getting better, and I'm sure I'll be completely fine soon. You have no need to worry."
"I'm just still afraid that I will lose my only chance to ever become a real Jedi," Arya muttered.
"You won't lose it, Padawan. I promise you," Jedova said. In those words, he anchored himself into this realm of existence, into living on. He had a reason to still be here, and he would not give up.

Perhaps the reason why he had unconsciously found himself taking on Padawan one after another was to have a reason to keep living, keep existing. By taking on apprentices, he bought himself time to live, paying for that time by training those apprentices into Jedi Knights. Being there for them had been his reason to exist for long now, what made him feel worthy of being alive, and it was enough to make him to think that there was something else than hopelessness and emptiness in the world. That was enough for him.

He took his hand off Arya's shoulder.
"Why don't we go and meditate?" he proposed, smiling to the girl.

Arya nodded, a smile coming to her face too.
"Let's go then."

Jedova counted the days. He knew that Arya's birthday was soon, and he wanted to be ready to tell the story of his mission on Kiros then. The orb made by him, Tureq and Arak was in one of the pouches on his utility belt, always with him just in case they would be sent on a mission suddenly.

Four weeks, twenty days. Then it would be the time.

Until then and after that, Jedova knew that he had to keep the hope up, because without hope he had nothing. The Force was with him, but without hope he knew he would always fall.

Hope was what kept people going.

Jedova had known that for long.

Hope had inspired many battles that had been won by those who were disadvantaged.

/Star Wars (c) Lucasfilm, any characters you cannot find on Wookieepedia, Veledos, Veledosians and their language (c) Me/