Gone For You
Chapter Notes
daskey: sam and lena sneaking around like they haven't been unofficially married for
years
shatterpath: haahahahaha! if they can find a pile of clean hay, they have to at LEAST
make out a bit on it! I mean come on!
Alex's POV
The drive home feels like a joyful affair and I'm delighted that my guests are as happy as I am to be
doing so.
But I know the flavor of the subtext now and it's thick in my mouth, my brain… and lower places.
Ruby got the coveted passenger seat and her periodic regard is sharp and speculative. She's a smart
kid and I'll have to bend a few brain cells to make sure she doesn't get bored. Or start wondering
overmuch how I'm fascinated with her mothers.
The drive passes quickly as the start of dusk chases us up the mountain. Ruby sends a text message
to the gang when I ask, passing over my phone. I feel that deep sense of belonging as the colorful
sign flashes by in the dusky light and we turn in to the gravel lane.
"Good to be home," I murmur in real relief.
Most of the gang approaches as I pull up to the wide entry steps to the deck, their happy babble the
best homecoming. With a few quick hugs and hellos, the Costco bins are grabbed and sacks of cat
food hauled off to dry. A familiar noise from the direction of the dog run between my place and
Brainy's barn, has me handing off a bin to Kara
"Give me a minute to reassure the dog."
BP is whining and pacing the fence with a frantically wagging tail that shakes her whole body. The
stifled little barking noises she does her best to swallow reminds me that she must have come from
an abusive home once. A fact reinforced at how she half-cowers even as she scuttles close to where
I squat to hug her and enjoy doggy kisses.
"Yes, yes, my sweet girl, I missed you too."
I didn't chose this amazing dog. She chose me. Having a dog seemed the next logical step in my
new farm life and I'd gone with Lucy to a shelter in Salem. There were so many needy dogs, but
which one to choose? Then, there she was, skinny and skittish in the back of her kennel. Those
expressive amber eyes met mine and she crept to the fence and licked the fingers I stuck through
the wire mesh. In that moment, I didn't care in the least that she would be more work, as trauma
clung close to her. In that moment, we were destined to be a pair. And as the farm had helped me
heal, it could do the same for her.
Now, I hold BP's wiggling body to mine and rub her head and ears as I kiss between her eyes. It's
no hardship to linger, kneeling on the wet cement, until she calms. By that time the truck has been
emptied and stripped of non-construction cargo, so I can make a wide U-turn to get the trailer close
to my shop.
When I go inside and flick on the lights, I am delighted to see that the gang made good on their
word. Neat piles of pre-cut lumber lie awaiting assembly, stacked atop old moving blankets that
are protecting the table pieces. Good, that will speed things up.
I've nearly finished unloading the trailer when the New Yorkers and Kara brave the rain to join me.
Soon it's a party-like atmosphere as lumber becomes panels with hardware cloth stretched over
them. Lena is pleased to be reasonably proficient with a drill once Kara coaches her through it
while I cut the wire sheets to length and get them settled over their frames. The brad-nailer is a
weak enough tool that the girls can use it to drive long staples into wood to secure the wire mesh.
Lily is thrilled to be using a power tool while Ruby tries not to be gleeful as she wields a hammer
to chase down misbehaving staples. Sam settles in on my ratty old couch to fuss over a happy BP
and Bissy.
It warms me how disappointed they are to be called in for dinner.
Once full of tacos and salad, there is a another round of laundering the new secondhand clothes and
back to the shop for more work. Lena is immediately huddled over my laptop with Kara to finalize
measurements, the two of them giggly excited once more. It's adorable and a hell of a lot less
distracting then the hot moms who seem to be extra affectionate with each other.
Or maybe I'm just thirsty…
I'm also lucky that the hammer blow I whack my thumb with, is a glancing hit and I wasn't really
swinging, but more like an uncontrolled drop. My yelp draws every eye and I can feel the blush
start at my navel and race upward like a heavy sweat.
"See? Gotta be careful," I manage to squeak out like an idiot.
Ironically, Ruby comes to my rescue.
She hasn't interacted as much as the rest of her family, but she's a teenager, so this is hardly a
surprise. But those alert eyes don't miss much and I can tell she's been absorbing every detail.
Which is both daunting and admirable, not gonna lie.
Cocking my head towards Lily and giving Sam a significant look earns me a smile and a nod. They
have work enough to keep themselves occupied for a few minutes and I need to shake off whacking
my stupid thumb anyway.
"You like that project?"
Ruby jumps a little where's she's been staring at my little collection of potential projects tacked to
the wall, turning away as though caught at something she shouldn't be doing. "Yeah, it looks cool."
She's trying so hard at being a prickly teenager it's almost cute.
'It' is a project piece off the internet I love; so much so that I printed it out and stuck it on the wall.
Nodding, I jerk my head towards the back room.
"Want to help me build it?"
It's not at all a project with any urgency, but I couldn't pass up the most important component when
I stumbled over it this summer on the cheap. Ruby's eyes light up as she recognizes the hulk of the
old upright piano half-buried in the back room detritus.
"We can really make that?"
There's the eagerness I've seen in her when she's not being a teenager! My warm grim comes easily.
"Absolutely. Side by side with that table, and you can take home some valuable skills!"
We start in on getting the thing unburied, making good progress until about halfway through.
"Ruuuuby," Lily wails out dramatically. "Moms are being gross! Save me!"
While a part of me dreads walking back into my workshop to doubtlessly be further tortured by the
hot moms, Ruby's wry look is an opening for connection and I grin at her.
"Hazards of being the big sister, huh?"
Back in the warmth of the workshop, Lily is the very picture of childish disgust and Lena is
thoroughly amused where she is sitting up in Sam's lap. They were very clearly being friendly and
my dreams will be haunted by that feline smile playing concert with Sam's smugness.
"Eeewwwww, gross!" Ruby chimes in with obliging sarcasm and Lily is delighted to be vindicated.
"Right, Alex?"
Called out by the teenager. Was I just thinking that I was growing to like her? My half panicked
and half sour look makes Ruby stifle a grin and leap over to grab her little sister in a
chokehold/hug. That earns a little smile from Kara where she is the only one still at work.
"Someday you'll understand," I somehow manage to say and for what feels like the millionth time,
try and ignore the speculative expressions on the couple's faces.
It's getting later in the evening now and the project is about as done as we can get it indoors. So I
call quitting time and ask for help cleaning up the mess. I put away tools and hardware while the
others grab brooms and the shop vac to make short work of the debris. Then it's just shooing
everyone out into the night's cold and locking up the barn. I hug Kara goodnight and we chat
randomly while the visitors slip into the clubhouse for the last of their laundry. With it safe and
snug in a totes to stay dry, the moms are managing the bulk just fine. So I don't even have anything
to do with my hands, keeping them shoved awkwardly in my coat pockets.
At the RV, the girls rush in the moment Lena unlocks the door and I'm once again left with the hot
moms and all the confusing subtext.
"So, we-"
Whatever Lena was going to say is lost as Lily comes flying back out, nearly swan-diving at me.
Reflexively, I catch the body slam hug, impressed with the python-like squeeze from all four
limbs.
"Thank you for a nice day," she murmurs where her face is tucked under my ear as I hug her back,
relishing the sweet emotion from her affection.
"You're welcome, sweetie. Pass that hug onto your sister for me?"
"'Kay! G'nite!"
Sam and Lena quietly echo the farewell as Lily scrambles back inside and I can't help but feel like
something was lost in the interruption.
Morning comes too soon and I don't feel well rested at all. My whole body still aches from my
impromptu workout in the barn after walking away from the RV. It felt good to get out some of the
frustrations, beat the old punching bag, hang from the rafters by my hands and feet and push my
muscles until my skin steamed in the cold.
Then I was starving, of course, and who the hell can sleep on a full stomach? Not me. So a fat
sandwich and a long soak in the clubhouse and I finally braved the cold, dark night back to my
little place.
Definitely gonna be snow very soon.
Still to wound up to sleep, I'd pulled out a strong beer and flopped down on the sofa with the boob
tube… and woken up chilly and stiff at 3am. Sigh.
Slapping at my bleating phone, I roll out of bed with a groan at protesting muscles and head for the
little shower. I feel grimy despite my bath last night. No shock as it looks like I was wrestling a
badger in my bed. Even the pets had bailed out from what was a clearly restless sleep.
As much as I'd like a more leisurely clean up, not gonna happen this morning. So a quick strip and
scrub it is.
As cold as the shaved parts of my scalp can get, it's nice that they're dry by the time I'm dressed for
the day. Even more than last night, there's a feel in the air, even in my warmish cabin, of winter
closer than it's been so far. My bet is snow by end of day for sure, but we'll still get done what we
can of Kara's aviary. Better start with the roof though!
With that in mind, I pull on the insulated sweat shirt for under my heavy winter jacket as well as a
fleecy neck tube. That way, I can pull it up over my lower face if it gets bad.
At the meeting, I don't indulge in the banter, too wound up and antsy to feel it today. I also ask if I
can get breakfast on the go, wanting to get a jump on everything I want to get done before the
snow starts.
Absent from our early-morning meeting, Team NY wanders out after chores, minus Sam. Me and
Kara have already gotten started on the polycarbonate panel roof.
"Good morning!"
My greeting sets Lily to running over to our worksite alongside the barn. "You are started!"
"Don't sweat it, kiddo," I reassure her small disappointment. "There is a ton left to do. And!" I
pause to up her curious excitement a bit. "We're probably going to have snow sometime today. You
can smell it in the air."
"Yay!"
Once again feeling the school nerd smitten with the most popular girl, I awkwardly greet Lena.
Ruby's smirking gets her hauled off by the jacket collar, stifling her snickering.
"Come on, Trouble."
Tools and the rest of the pre-built panels are dragged into the cold so that we can get back to work.
While many hands make light work, Kara and I have to keep an eye out on our inexperienced
charges, so it slows the whole process down.
That's not even touching on my fucking distraction. Not helped when a clearly drowsy Sam
wanders out with a giant travel mug that Lena immediately steals. With an affectionate eye roll,
Sam lets her do it, approaching me to whip out an impossibly adorable pair of imploring puppyeyes.
Dammit.
"Can we go see the kittens? Please?"
There's something in that soft 'please' that short-circuits my brain, mouth gone dry and… well,
other parts of me not dry at all. Clearing my painfully tight throat, I nod and my voice is rough. "Of
course. Just keep an eye out for mama glaring. That's the hint to get out."
Oh, that smile…
"Yay!" she crows and does a cute little shimmy. "Glaring mama cat, got it. Anyone else?"
Setting aside their tools, Lily and Lena follow, Ruby shrugging and sticking with her fascination
with the powerful pneumatic nail gun. After Kara looks torn for a moment, I laugh and shoo her
off.
With the distractions gone for the moment and with Ruby's competent help, bracing and panels go
up fast. As we work our way around the posts, wire panels become sheets of exterior cladding to
make an adjoining shed that will later be sealed up and insulated. Right now, the shell is enough.
A flicker of movement catches my eye, Lily romping in the watery sunlight under the watchful
gaze of her mothers.
"Your moms are pretty great," I try to make conversation with the teen, who glances over with an
unreadable expression. Girl's got a hell of a poker face when she tries at it.
"They're not together, you know."
Okay, that is… unexpected. My blink makes Ruby shrug and look unsure.
"I mean, they are, but they've always… held back. At least I don't think they really are. It's hard to
tell."
Truth is, I don't see what Ruby does. Where the couple is standing at the corner of the old barn,
they look snuggly and in love and quietly pleased with one another. Sam is leaning on the old
wood, Lena tucked against her, heads touching. They look like the cover of a rustic Hallmark
movie.
With a ripple of movement and a muffled giggle, Lena gives Sam a gentle head-butt and merely
gets her dark hair smooched. Puzzled, I look back at Ruby's thoughtful, conflicted face.
"Sometimes, I think they don't even really know what they are."
While I don't understand Ruby's conflict, that doesn't make it less real. Time for another tactic
then. With over enthusiasm, I say cheerfully, "do you guys need some entertainment? Why don't
you go exploring? It's cold, but dry for now. A perfect day to look around some more."
After a moment, Sam shrugs and asks Ruby if she wants to come along. Clearly still conflicted
about opening up to me, she nods and heads off. Lena stays, but is once again deeply into chatty
mode with Kara. While feeling left out a bit lets me get some actual work done, it still feel weird.
Though I'd feel left out forever if I never have to hear Lily scream like that again.
I'm in motion before the sound even consciously registers.
It came from out towards the stream where the trees grow thick and the ground is spongy
underfoot. Lena is right behind me as I smash through low branches and grabby brambles.
Thankfully, they didn't get far, Ruby kneeling over her mother, crumpled on the ground, a
distraught Lily standing beside them.
"Hey, hey," I reassure Ruby as I join her. "I've got you."
Years of ER life flood back into brain and body. Lena has gone to Lily, Kara skidding to a halt
beside me. Sam is conscious and a bit dazed, grumbling when I automatically keep her from trying
to sit up.
"I'm fine. I didn't fall far."
A quick glance shows broken branches on the old tree beside us.
"Yeah, well, that split brow says otherwise. Lie still, doctor's orders. Hey, Kara, can you go grab
the first-aid kit?"
Without a word, Kara is off at a gallop to do just that while I start a basic examination of a grouchy
Sam. There's no subtext now, as my hands come out of the gloves and rove over scalp and neck
before cupping both.
"Roll onto your back. You good? Dizzy at all?"
With her body braced by the ground, I can press thumbs around the bloody gash over her eye,
ignoring the livid crimson that hardly fazes me after what I've seen in my time.
"No, I'm fine."
"Yeah, well you're humoring me anyway. Call it being a good example for your kids."
The sass earns me a squinty glare that I ignore. Using the cleaner back side of one of my gloves, I
do my best to wipe away the blood from her left eye where the wound has made a mess of her. At
least those pretty pale brown eyes look clear, that's the best sign.
"Climbing trees, huh?"
The tease earns a wisp of smile and Sam gestures vaguely upward.
"I wanted to get a few of the apples."
Confused, I can't help but look up to see that, sure enough, the tree in question still bears a few
apples, red with yellow mottled skins gleaming in the gloom.
"Huh. I never even noticed it."
Kara races back, suitcase of a kit in hand and I immediately appoint a freaked-out Lily as my nurse
to focus her away from the scare she's had. Sam doesn't like all of this and grouses again. "I'm fine!
Will everybody stop making such a fuss?"
"Sam, as your temporary doctor, shut it. If you don't stop squirming, I'll get the sutures. Honestly,
your kids would grumble less."
A quick wipe with an antiseptic pad and a butterfly bandage gets the gash closed up, then a bit of
gauze and some tape finish the job. Ruby willingly helps me gently sit Sam up, my hands once
again cupped around her head and neck.
"Anything else hurt?"
For a moment, Sam's eyes are evasive before she sighs, very much put upon. "My ribs hurt, but not
too bad. Nothing sharp."
"Well, your breathing is normal, so we won't worry for now. Ready to try getting up?"
"What, no kiss?"
Now, I've been around this crew for just a few days, and the comment hardly surprises me. That
Lena said it is a little startling, but it's good to hear the brave tease over the worried warble of her
voice. Wanting to alleviate the fear in the little family, I cup a hand around Sam's cheek and lean in
to press a kiss to the white gauze.
I didn't expect the little surprised smile on her face like she didn't expect it. Yes, my stupid heart
gives a tiny kick at the softness of that expression. To cover my addled emotions, I rustle into the
kit until I come up with the cliché of a sticker that happens to be a cartoon orange lollipop. Sam's
smile goes delighted as I tease, "later, you can cash that in for the real thing."
"That's quite a kit you've got there."
The kits are miniature emergency rooms, built by my own hands. As I gently start tugging Sam to
her feet with Ruby's help, I explain. "There's one of these in every building. The others rib me for
it, but I guarantee they've used one at some point."
"Can't say I'm sorry about that," she concedes as me and Ruby drape an arm over each of our
shoulders, snuggling close to her sides to start the slow walk back to the homestead.
The little family needs some quiet time to regroup and I reluctantly leave off my assistance as we
get back to the RV and they troop inside. I manage not to startle, but do blush hotly as Lena curls a
hand around my jaw to press a kiss to my cheek.
"Thank you," is all she says, her voice heavy with gratitude and relief before she too vanishes from
my sight.
Oh, I need some good, hard work to distract me now…
After reassuring the others that our guests seem to be okay, Kara and I get the aviary roof buttoned
up and the tools put away. The air has gotten so heavy I can almost taste the snow in those
thickening clouds. Still antsy, I need a distraction as the others have taken care of the animals and
equipment in anticipation of a storm. Well, cleaning is never in short supply.
The huge, low barn has been a blessing for us. Not only does it protect our now massive horde of
hay and firewood, but provides a much needed secure area for the ostrich indoors. We didn't
manage to get the last of the old buildings from the defunct farm up for the alpaca and Jerkface,
but we can shove them in here if the weather truly turns to shit. The old chicken farm building has
been split by a wide alley to separate the two sides and that provides a place for utilities, storage
and moving equipment around. Next to one of the giant intake fans is a person door that I enter to
rummage through the cleaning supplies there.
The basics are done every day, but I can get in some more thorough work done, particularly with a
storm coming that might keep the birds inside. The three big hens in particular don't like that. The
babies are still gawky fluffs, admittedly large ones, and remain confined to their half of the indoor
area and their outside pen instead of being out at pasture. As is normal, they are both curious what
the silly primate is doing, and being stupid featherheads.
I remain pleased how we designed the barn. There are few static fences, but most of the three
enclosure area are crisscrossed with a great many of the heavy tube steel cattle panels modified to
gates that can be swung around to connect at multiple points so that the space can be configured as
we need it. There's not much in the way of actually handling the ostrich as they're strong and spook
easily. So I configure them away from different areas as I work, dragging along wheelbarrow, rake
and shovel.
While I hate being snuck up on, I'm in headphones with some bouncy tunes chattering away in my
ears, because I hate the sound of my breathing behind a respirator even more.
The bedding for the birds is primarily truckloads of rough sand and small gravel over a hard pack
of road-grade gravel that lifts the whole barn above collected water from rain and snow. That gets
raked constantly, and periodically hosed clean in warmer weather. We also provide a few stalls of
thick hay for warmth and snuggling into should they choose to. It doesn't get used much, so doesn't
get fully changed out often, but that's my goal today. It keeps me occupied, my busy body keeping
some of the fretting of my mind quieted.
Some of it.
After cleaning and rebedding, I have to take a break, rehydrating and yanking on my coat as
stillness reminds me of the cold.
Stillness also lets my brain run wild, inevitably leading back to the hot disruptions in my life.
Fascinated and frustrated, I hardly know what to do about all these hormones and… feels. I guess I
need to head to town tonight and see if I can find something to at least take the edge off. I feel like
a raw nerve.
Footsteps in the alleyway alerts me I'm no longer alone. Oh well. Even as I open my mouth to call
a greeting, Sam's voice carries to me.
"So, since we're all in here alone… how about a roll in the hay?"
Lena giggle-groans at the leer and their footsteps change from concrete to crunchy sand.
"You are a corny idiot."
With a filthy guffaw, Sam does something that makes Lena squeal girlishly, their bodies clearly in
the freshly laid hay on the other side of the stall wall I'm leaning against.
Then there's kissing and sensual humming and fuck, what do I do now? They're definitely getting
into it now and I'm stuck here with my hands over my face, dying of lust that is stronger than
embarrassment. Christ it's tempting to yank off the gloves and get a hand down my pant, cause I'm
dying here…
A startled yelp from Lena makes me jump and her outrage is completely ruined by the laughter
clearly heard in her voice as she yells, "Sammy, get your filthy hands out of my pants! I will not
tolerate this scratchy shit in my underwear!"
Despite myself, I have to grin as Sam laughs the filthiest laugh and the rustling of hay gets loud. I
have to get out of here and use the noise to jump up in preparation of making a run for it.
But somehow I can't move.
After a few more noisy kisses, Lena hums sensually, "take me back to the RV and I'll let you put
your hand down my pants."
This is me, dying.
I should have escaped while I could, but remain frozen like a deer in headlights as Lena steps out
of the stall, fluffing hay out of her hair. She pauses, mild surprise flickering over her face, before
that little curl of smile makes me feel hunted.
Look, I haven't missed that she's interested. I'm not that oblivious and she's been as subtle as Briar
over a treat. But I can't get in the middle of the thing she has with Sam, no matter how tempting
they both are.
Yet, I still don't move.
That little smile is pure filth as Lena sashays over with a sway to her hips that makes me instantly
horny. God she's gorgeous. Like a poster child for easy, elegant femininity, she is a siren and just
the sort to make me do something so, so stupid.
In a last ditch effort to be a good guy, I step back from her stalking approach and body slam the
traitorous post behind me. Ouch.
Then it's too late for me, one elegant finger landing on my sternum holding me prisoner against the
unyielding wood against my back. The whole world seems to fade away as those hypnotic green
eyes simply stare into mine. That feline smile grows.
"So, I've been patient, you lovely thing, but I think you need some more direct encouragement,
hmm?"
Because of course her voice has to get deep and throaty now. Of course. I think my knees are about
to give out.
"Can I kiss you?"
She's close enough to feel the heat of her breathing, but only that single fingertip touches me.
Through the temptation and panic, I'm grateful for the respect.
Then a flicker of movement snaps my line of sight away from spellbinding green eyes to see that
Sam has appeared, casually resting her forearms on the low stall door, smile indulgent.
Okay, I'm missing something here.
I can feel my eyebrows puckering up, my vaunted smarts reduced to gibberish between my ears.
"Hey, Big Al?" Sam's voice is gentle, soothing. "I think maybe you've missed the memo that we're
both interested. Together or as appreciative audience, we're easy."
"I doubt there's anything easy about either of you."
The quip that falls out of my stupid head has the distinctive flavor of Sara. Dammit. Still, the relief
that floods through me makes me feel dizzy. That was the part of the puzzle that I was missing,
this exact scenario never having crossed my path before. But now that it's been dropped in my lap?
God I want it.
"Yes."
I can't manage more than that hoarse whisper, still too discombobulated to do much else. Luckily,
Lena is pleased to press her hand flat to my sternum and move in. That feline smile is warm lips
and a soft, sexy hum that is a jolt from brain to pelvis. The touch stays chaste for only a moment as
I draw in a sharp breath, her lips parting as though to chase that breath, catching my lower lip to
suckle softly, the hint of teeth close at hand.
There's no fighting the need now, mouths open and wet as we kiss for real, my intellect reduced to
the white noise of lust. One hand curls around the back of my head, ruffling the buzzed hairs and
sending hot shocks down my spine, hips jumping.
And this is just an introduction kiss. My good god, lesbian Jesus…
The slide of Lena's other hand over my belly breaks up the kiss as I gasp. That's a sensitive spot!
Be it deathly ticklish or a gas-pedal stomp to my lust, depends on the touch. Guess which one this
is?
"Oh, I like that," she purrs, flexing her hand like a kneading cat and I nearly drop. "I'll remember
this, guaranteed."
All I can do is stare at those hot green eyes, her lips wet and well-kissed, a little bite at that plush
lower curse jolting me into action.
She giggles a little as I remember I have hands, sweeping her close to press in and get some of my
own power back. She tastes good, feels better, her hands roughly knocking my hat askew as she
grabs my hair. Little touches of tongue in the hot kiss is a little parry-thrust of tease as sexy as
those nipping teeth. Somehow, it doesn't shock me that Lena is a biter and I get ever more turned
on.
Even as the gutter swallows me up, a throaty chuckle gently separates us. Not Lena's chuckle, but
Sam, still watching with that indulgent smile that has filthy dancing in the corners. Lena scratches
at my scalp, making my stare at Sam get a little unfocused.
"Go ahead, if you want," Lena encourages gently, giving a little push at my bare head as she steps
aside. Lust drunk and in their thrall, I stumble over, nearly crashing into the softness of Sam and
the hardness of the low door between us.
Unlike Lena's advances, there is no hesitation here, Sam's hands around my neck and skull even as
she leans down to kiss me like she's waited a million years for it.
I hadn't imagined this, hadn't even realized this is what all the subtext was that has been torturing
me since meeting them. Now, it's all I want, moaning into the sultry kiss, the lilt of it becoming a
high-pitched squeak of delight as Lena cuddles up to my back, hands spreading over my belly. The
thrum of Sam's chuckle in my mouth and brain rattles through my body every bit as the thrilling
lust of their touches.
While Lena kisses like she knows exactly what she wants, Sam's mouth is playful persuasion, a
promise of mischief if you just go along with her.
And I'm a goner.