Also this is the second part of the apology chapter, or rather a very long today's chapter.
If I were Harry potter i would address voldemort as Tim Riddle. He'd be like, "It's Tom Riddle. Also, it's not Tom Riddle, it's voldemort." "haha, classic Tim. Whoopsie, now i just have to go stop him from this week's homicide!" "i'm dieting, it's only a single homicide a week. I used to get so tired when i murdered a few muggles every day!"
Substituting sleep with caffeine ( i use chocolate) is a lot like drinking unicorn blood to stay immortal. You will have a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment it touches your lips.
James: Lily, I may have wrapped Harry in my invisibility cloak for a nap. You know, the one that I put an anti-summoning charm on? But I swear, last time I saw him he was in this room.
Viktor cedric potter, you were named after ron's man crush and mine. Just you wait you're gonna be hot.
Where does Fred Weasley shop? forever 21.
I know, we're all sobbing and chuckling at the same time.
Harry Potter: A summary.
Harry NO! Said everyone
Harry yes! Siad harry and went on to do whatever crazy shit he was about to get involved in. HOw did he survive past his teens anyone? Authorial intervention and deus ex machina.
Molly Wealsey has so many Grandchildren (the weasel fertility runs true) that the kids start to stand in specific formations stand in specific formations to to spell words with their sweaters in christma photos.
How did Harry potter get down the hill? By walking. Jk rowling. I actually came up with this one before i even started reading the series, but one user somewhere on the internet phrased it better so that's what i typed.
Aaand… thats the end. The rest I have stored in my pinterest or in photos, so starting tomorrow you might see a difference in the amount of typos because i will be typing these things up. My poor fingers.