"Now I am here in Cream's room, and here you are, Shadow," said Tails to Shadow, who were both standing there. "Do not be alarmed!"
"What! Um, um, I do not know what to say!" said Shadow to Tails, with a big worried face, like a coconut with those three holes like a bowling ball.
"No, it is okay. You are doing exactly what I knew you would be doing, and I understand why," said Tails in a cool and not angry way to Shadow, responding. "You are here to get what Cream has, and that is the last Ultra Chaos Emerald, which is what is in your hand." Tails, being smart, was right. Shadow was holding the last Ultra Chaos Emerald, and it was in Cream's room, in a ring.
"Oh!" shouted Shadow. "Usually I am the one with the brain behind doing a crime, but please explain to me how you know all this."
"Well," said Tails loudly, like a Rock Star, "it all started when Amy and Rouge got locked away in the detetnion zone." Tails then sat on the windowsel and explained the whole thing that was how Amy's bracelet ended up in Cream's vagina and why Cream has the last Ultra Chaos Emerald and why Sonic did not come back to life when Shadow tried to use them. "Amy and Rouge were in detetnion, and Cream wanted to help them before they turned into starving women whose reproduction systems died because they did not have enough nutrition to create a child, ever again. So Cream decided to be a good friend, like I have always been to Sonic, and she went and broke into your (Shadow's) room to steal a lock pick. She knew you would have a lock pick because you are always saying about how you do crimes in the city environs. So Cream went and broke into your room and stole a lock pick, but when she was there she also saw the Ultra Chaos Emeralds and took the white one because it looked like riches."
"Wow! She is a stealing bitch!" screamed Shadow to Tail's listening body. "What is wrong with this succubus!" Shadow stomped his feet and bothered to put his penis back now that it was small from listening to Tails talk and not have pretend crime rescue sex with Cream.
+10 Cream steals from Sonic's room.
"Just wait and listen, fag nips," said Tails to Shadow, still a little mad at Shadow for being the ass hole at Sonic's funeral, but mostly forgiving him now for doing this. "Then what happened was Cream, as a Halls Moniter, was able to go in to the detetion room because she had the power as an inside agent. She had put the lock pick way up in her vagina as a hiding spot, because who is gonna look there even if a burgler comes to take her carried goods. She went over to Amy in a sneaking way, and moving her mouth without saying the words, by not making sound but still making it look like she was talking, and not saying them in her head either because she was still doing it with her mouth so you could see, told Amy to reach up into her vagina.
"Cream's vagina was so small and junior at the time because she was not in love, so when Amy stuck her hand up into Cream's vagina, her bracelet got stuck in there and it stayed up there and she could not even get the lock pick anyway because Cream's vagina was basically like a pencilcase full of peanut butter. It was too hard and small to get up but it was good at holding things, like SpiderMan? So Amy's bracelet was in there and Cream had to leave before she became the biggest suspect ever, and Amy did not notice her bracelet was gone because she was so hungry and needing soda, and she put a new one on when she got home anyway so it was like she did not notice. And then when Sonic died Cream was wearing the last Ultra Chaos Emrald so it did not work because the jewels have to be touching for a man to get off a wish."
"Wow, it make so much sense, and it is so obvieus," said Shadow to Tails, with a big eye face. "I can't believe I did not think of that first. Maybe I am so dark that it is hard to see sometimes, ha ha!" Shadow laughed and black birds flew above outside like planes running up high with invisible legs.
+10 That was not obvious at all. Tails could never have fucking guessed that.
"Yeah, but now we have to use them! We have to bring Sonic back to life!" Tails creamed at Shadow.
"But first we should get Amy, because she is Sonic's GirlFriend and she should be there if we are gonna bring him back from hell," shouted Shadow in an idea way. Tails and Shadow held hands and ran out the window and then Tails flew them with his Flying Tails to Sonic's house, where everyone was.
Tails and Shadow got there and slammed the door open like a FootBall team, making a slammer's noise. Then they went and found Sonic's Mom, who said Amy was in the other room, and Tails and Shadow went to the other room and opened that door too. Amy was inside the room, watching Rouge refill Knuckles and Knuckles Jr. using her whopping boobs. Rouge was wearing a itty bitty tiny baby bra that was so small like she got it from Gymboree and her boobs were so super big like a couple of planets that were pretty much breaking the bra parts because they were so big. It is a rumor about the town that you can see Rouge's boobs from space.
"Rouge your boobies are out again. What are you doing," said Tails to Rouge, and then Rouge and Amy looked at him.
"Tails! I am feeding Knuckles and Knuckles Jr from my boobs. It is natural and healthy to do this," said Rouge. Rouge's boobs were so big that it was like Tails and Shadow could not almost fit into the room with her. They were all watching the video of Knuckles and Knuckles Jr the baby kissing that Sonic had made of them to inspire his kissing powers because watching it made Rouge make more boob food.
"And I am watching so I know how to do it one day," said Amy, who still looked a little sad because Sonic died but smiling.
"Cool," said Tails. "Can I try?" Tails and Shadow went over to Rouge's boobs, but by the time they got over there, this happened.
"Oh no! They are empty. Sorry!" said Rouge to Tails and Shadow. "It is supposed to be for babies most of the time, anyway, or if you are in love."
"Aw man!" yelled Shadow to the clouds.
"Next time!" said Tails, winking at Rouge and her illegally sized boobs. "Anway, we are going to go bring Sonic back to life. Come on!"
+10 Tails and Shadow are annoyed that Rogue cannot breast feed them.
"What! No, not again, you beguilers!" Amy screamed at almost punched one of them in the face for doing another disrespection to Sonic's dead version.
"Listen, woman of the night," said Shadow in a disrespecting way, "We are for real this time. Something was messed up and it was all Cream's fault, or maybe even yours if you go back far enough in the way everything happened in the world. Let's go!"
"I don't know," said Rouge. "You were a idiot ass last time at the funerela."
"No, listen to them," said Knuckles Jr to Rouge, who was cool, not a nerd. "Go."
"God that baby is a genius!" said Shadow, knowing that he was right and that they should go with them. Tails was the smartest.
"O.K." said Amy, and they all put their things into bags and left. Knuckles, who was now a baby, made sure to put his camera with him close. Then they told everyone else in the house who was there from the funeral, which was all of the important people that you know, and they ran faster than a boulder to High School where Sonic's funeral was and where he was put in the ground now but not covered up yet because they did not get to start, beacuse the funeral was only a few hours ago and they did not have to do it right away because it was the safest neiborhood, not like the city,where Sonic's body would get stolen and sold for drugs and motorcycles.
+1 Corpses are respectable trades for drugs and motorcycles.
Everyone ran just so fast to the funeral spot at the High School and when they got there there was Sonic's koffin in the hole. "Here we are, at the funeral spot now," said Tails to everyone of course.
"We gotta get it out, but how?" screamed Amy, and started to cry like a girl tea kettle.
"God damn it, Amy," said Tails in a mad serious voice. "Stop acting like a children." Tails thought Amy was being the kraken of drama just because Sonic was dead. "What we need to do is figure out, using ou'r brains, how to get Sonic out of this hole." Tails rubbed his chin with his smart hands and tried to get his genius brain running like the engine of ten red cars.
"Excuse me, let me get through, please," said a big retarded voice from the back of the group of people standing around Sonic's hole.
"Oh, the Lunch Lady!" shouted Tails, in a happy way.
"Hello children," said the Lunch Lady, who was also at Sonic's funeral and Sonic's house after the funeral. The Lunch Lady was very big and tall and went in Sonic's hole and tossed the koffin right out on to the ground next to it. "There you go," said the Lunch Lady with a face full of smiles. She was deaf, too.
+10 The deaf lunch lady unearths Sonic, and she does so despite not being able to read the lips of people from behind them.
"Cool," said Tails, "thanks. Shadow where are you?" Shadow came in from the backer area where it was dark, under a tree, because Shadow was the darkest person everyone knew.
"Here I am, Tails, and here are my jewels," said Shadow as he grabbed his sack. "Ready?"
"Here goes nothing!" yelled Tails like a gay little boy. Don't you just hate when people say that.
Shadow grabbed his jewels and made sure all 7 of them were there and they were there. He was so nervous because if this did not work they would surely put him under a citizen's arrest for being a public ass. If he did not do this right, he would die, and Tails would too now because he was doing it with him and they would throw rocks at them. "Using these Ultra Chaos Emeralds," said Shadow, "I wish up out the gods to grant my wish that you can bring back Sonic back up to normal healthy life here!" The bag glowed a whole lot and made screamy noises and a big stick of light came down from the sky and hit the bag, and all of the Ultra Chaos Emeralds started to go crazy. They were making sounds like frogs and trains and horses and hitting into each other and shooting out lights and being basically the circus. Shadow and Tails were squinty with their eyes like the Chinese doctor who touched Sonic's balls.
+10 Racism.
"Wow!" screamed Amy.
"Oh my god!" screamed Rouge.
"Cool!" screamed Espio.
"What!" screamed Knuckles.
"A miracle!" screamed Knuckles Jr.
Just then Cream got there from being unsconscience at her house and screamed "No way!"
"Whoa!" screamed Silver.
"Oh wow very impressive," said Sonic's really Chinese doctor in a less loud way and the Lunch Lady said something too and so did Sonic's Mom and Ms. Lesson. Then everything in the world just became super bright and no one could see a thing for a moment and they could not hear they noticed either beacuse there was a ringing sound in their ears. It was so crazy like being inside a marshmellow filled of ringing sounds.
Then everyone peeked out behind their hands at where they were looking, and all the Ultra Chaos Emeralds were gone, and Sonic's koffin was open and, look, there was Sonic. Sonic was standing on his koffin, where he was, inside, and he was on top of it, smiling and not black anymore but regular old blue Sonic. Yes it really happened!
"Hey guys! What did I miss!" shouted Sonic in his regular old cool way.
"SONIC!" screamed everyone at the same time because they were all there and heard and saw him together so it is just natural. They all ran at him and he went down from the koffin and everyone was hugging and it was so beautiful to see.
"I heard EggMan was laughing at my funeral! What an ass!" said Sonic, and laughed, because he was the most living person ever now.
+10 No one could reasonably tell Sonic this, and he was dead, so he could never hear this.
"Wow, Sonic, you are alive," said Tails to Sonic.
"You bet!" said Sonic, and high fived him, which is already after they hugged because they are best friends, but Sonic hugged everyone else too.
"Wow Sonic, you are really the fastest!" said Knuckles Jr. "You came back to life in 2 days. You beat the world record for fastest coming back to life because it took Jesus 3 days!" Knuckles Jr was right, Sonic was the fastest and it is now proved completely.
"Sonic! I miss you! I forgive you!" shouted Amy, crying and happy. Amy cried so much, she was such a loser about emotions.
"Amy… I was thinking a lot about you when I was dead. I-" said Sonic, before typical gay girl Amy cut him off in a rude way.
"It doesn't matter! Sonic! I want to become True BoyFriend and GirlFriend with you now!" screamed Amy and did holding on Sonic's hands. Sonic looked surprised.
"Now? Right now?" said Sonic with a question voice.
"Yeah! Right now!" yelled Amy. "Let them watch! This is true love!" Then Amy leaped out of her clothing except her underwears like a horse jumping out of a plane and landed in front of Sonic's body ready for his grand genitals, and Sonic already had all of his clothes off by the time she started to jump because he is the fastest.
"Yeah! Sex!" shouted Sonic, and he finally revealed his penis. His penis instanly grew to dangerous levels. He swinged it around and everyone had to duck or jump over it. Sonic's penis was just the biggest penis anyone ever saw. It was like he had the World Trade Center sitting on his balls. His balls were super big too, like BeanBag chairs full of olives.
+10 Sonic's cock is inhumanly large.
"Yes, my measurements were correct," said Sonic's extra Chinese doctor. "His penis and balls are definitely the biggest available."
Amy was so filled with sex and arousing that her boobs were rock hard. She opened up her legs and she was still wearing a panty but her vagina was really hard too like a trap door to the love basement. Sonic did not care and he shot his incredible penis right into her vagina through her girl clothing and she felt his love immediately. His penis was ice cold and it was so big that it made it up her body and into her mouth and she could taste it and it tasted like money and ice cream.
"I love you!" screamed Sonic, ramming his penis in and out of her body like a drain cleaner.
+10 Sonic tears Amy's clothes with his penis.
"I love you too!" screamed Amy, trying to make words while Sonic's penis rearanged her internal orgens. Sonic took his penis out and beat her boobies back and forth with it and she loved it. Sonic's pensi was so strong that it made her roll back and forth and by now she was so in love that her vagina was shooting whipped cream.
+1 This would kill Amy.
"Wait for me!" shouted Sonic, laughing like a millionair. Sonic did legendary sex moves to Amy like picking her up with his penis and doing tricks, and brushing her teeth with his penis, and letting her walk on it like a tight rope walker, but with his penis. He even put Amy and him into his koffin and he wiggled his penis back and forth in her vagina while in the koffin like a beef slinky. Sonic's penis was so big and long and wide that you could fit families inside of it. If you think you have seen a bigger penis, you have not ,because Sonic was in love now.
+10 All of these sound both unhygenic and painful.
Amy's vagina was breathing hard and reaching out for Sonic's penis and soon he put it back into her vagina and decided to do a final systems check before taking off into the semensphere. Sonic grabbed his balls and held them back against his body and ran into Amy with his penis, and his penis immedately flooded her vagina with his fresh and creamy smores. He shot so much semen into Amy that it was coming out her ears. Eventually he took his penis out and shot more out but like bullets. He even shot one into the sky and that night someone noticed Venus was about 10 feet to the right of where it should have been. That is because Sonic's semen bullet hit it.
+1 "semensphere"
"Sonic!" screamed Amy. "Marry me!" Amy kneeled up from on the ground holding a big ring like the ones she wore and held it in front of her face. Sonic looked at it, smiled, and shoved his showstopping penis right through the ring and into her mouth, and she yelled a passionate sound and Sonic said "I will marry you!". Amy drank all of the semen that she could and grew an inch in height from it. Then Amy took out the real rings that she had and Sonic and Amy put them on so they could get married.
+11 Amy grows from Sonic's sperm, and Sonic's semen bullet hit Venus.
"You just had sex!" screamed Tails, "You just became True BoyFriend and GirlFriend. Congraltuations, Sonic and Amy!"
"Wow," said Espio. "I thought I was a sex professional!"
"I am seeing true love!" shouted Rouge. Everyone laughed and cheered as Sonic and Amy finished doing sex and kissed each others penises and vaginas and balls one more time for good luck. Then they put their clothes on that Silver had folded and put in piles for them because he was just a really good nice guy.
-10 for the best guy in this fic, Silver. He's the only one to not call Charmy a slur, and he seems to be at least neutral towards him. He is also nice to the characters, despite them being fucking horrible people.
"Hey!" shouted Knuckles. "Thanks! I got my story now!" Knuckles waved a bunch of pictures of Sonic and Amy having sex in the High School garden area and the article that he just wrote attached to it.
"Cool! I am happy I did help you," said Sonic, winking, still feeling like Super Sex Sonic.
"Yes! That is wonderful!" said a big voice behind them in an important way. "Hello! I am the principal of the High School!"
"Wow, the president?" shouted Sonic. Seeing the principal was like seeing a celebrity because he only came out one day every year.
"Yes. Sonic, you are the best!" said the Principal.
+10 The principal does not punish Sonic for having sex in public.
"Ye he is!" said Amy to the Principal. "We just had sex right here and he is my True BoyFriend now!" The Principal laughed and smiled.
"Wait just a minute!" yelled Sonic to the Principal. "I may be the best at some things, but everyone here is the best at some things. Amy is the best at being nice and having emotions. Tails is the best at being smart and flying. Shadow is the best at doing crimes and driving and being dark but also being nice, so he is the best at being two things at the same time. Espio is the best at jumping and getting teenage women. Rouge is the best at seducing and being in love and a mom. Knuckles is the best at doing High School while still being a baby and he was the best at fighting before becoming a baby. Knuckles Jr is the best at being psychic and being cool while still being a baby. Cream is the best at being happy and kind of smart. Silver is the best at acting and being nice and normal and cool. The Lunch Lady is the best at making people happy and being strong. The Chinese doctor is the best at medical things and Asian abilities. Sonic's Mom is the best at cooking and cleaning. Ms. Lesson is the best at teaching and being the nurse. Vector was the best at biting and making people mad and Charmy was the best at dancing and singing but now they are dead. I am the best at being fast, being moral, relieving others, and most other things."
+10 "Asian abilities"
"Yeah!" said everyone else together to save time, patting each others on the backs and laughing and smiling and cheering because they were all the best in some way.
"I guess that is true," said the Principal. "I really want to thank you though Sonic. You really have the best morals. Everyone needs to learn from you about what High School is really all about. It is not about drama, and being mean, and being crazy, and getting mad or sad or making other people mad and sad. High School is about falling in love and getting married and maybe having kids. Thank you Sonic for showing everyone this. Also, Knuckles I am very impressed with your story even though you are just a baby and you pass this year of High School and do not have to go back to the start and pay thousands of dollars in fees and charges." Knuckles cheered and hoorayed like a baby and the Principal shook Sonic's hand and could not help but look at how big Sonic's penis was even still when it was not out.
"Hey!" said Tails to Sonic and everyone. "Today was the last day of school! It is summer now!"
"Yeah, cool, great!" shouted everyone together at the same time.
"Good," said the principal to everyone and then to Sonic. "Now I can do what I want to do, and that is rename High School in your honer."
The whole big group of everyone laughed and smiled and walked away toward the sun ready to go have summer before they would have to return to the new SONIC HIGH SCHOOL.
THE END
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow! I am so sad but kind of filled of relief that this is the end of SONIC HIGH SCHOOL. I got sad at the end and I wanted to make sure it came out just right. I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as it was that I did writing this story. If you have any ideas for another shorter FanFiction you want me to do send it to me in a message and maybe I can do it in the future but I need to take a break for now. If you just want to talk you can send me a message because it will send me an email that you sent me a message so I will always know where you are. Please tell all your friends about this story and spread it on the InterNet so everyone reads it and it becomes even more of a world wide pheromone. Thank you!
Godspeed, DarkDoomFireMaster, for making the best Trollfic ever made.
CHANGE: +114
FINAL TOTAL: 1159
FAVORITE SENTENCE: "Good," said the principal to everyone and then to Sonic. "Now I can do what I want to do, and that is rename High School in your hone