Chapter Twenty Four

The next day, I sat at the dining room table, trying to find the humor in Dean trying to spoon-feed Sam some sort of weird, miracle concoction he'd made up for him. Sam looked terrible and as odd as it was to see Dean playing Momma Bear, I couldn't get past my worry to smile.

"Enough, Dean, please…" Sam stood up, shrugging the blanket Dean had put around his shoulders to the floor.

"The bloody handkerchiefs, the fever, the shaky legs...this is not good." Dean was agitated but I could tell more than anything else, he was scared for his brother.

Sam's shoulders dropped a little. "Well, I'm not good. And I'm not going to be good until we can get moving on this third trial."

Dean looked at me. "Would you tell him? Tell him that he needs to take care of himself."

"Don't drag her into this."

While they bickered some more, I slunk off to the kitchen to make some more tea. It was the only thing of substance that Sam would drink partially because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. Apparently, he didn't care if he hurt Dean's feelings. When I walked back in, they were both hovered over Sam's laptop. Taking the mug of tea I offered, he said, "It's Kevin. He emailed us."

I sucked in a breath. "Thank God."

But it wasn't good. Not good at all. According to his video, he was dead. He wasn't on the lam. He wasn't hiding out somewhere with his mom, making demon bombs and trying to figure out the third trial...he was dead. Crowley had killed him and probably Linda too.

Dean, just as enraged and upset as I was, he hit a chair so hard that it flew backward and crashed against the floor. "Son of a bitch!"

I made eye contact with Sam as I sat down at one of the chairs around the table. "I can't stay here."

His tired eyes widened a little. "What? You can't leave, Eva. Crowley is-"

"I can't hide here forever." I took a deep breath and blew it out. "I'm useless here. I could be out there trying to figure stuff out. What if there's something I can do to help you feel better but...but...but I don't know how yet?" All the regrets of being caught by Crowley, and fears of Sam's sickness, and grief about Kevin hit me at once and tears filled my eyes. Sam moved around the table, sitting down next to me. "What if finishing the third trial makes you so sick that you can't be saved...except I can but I don't know how yet?" I grabbed his hand, holding it desperately against my chest, just above my heart. "It's my worst fear - that I have the chance to save you but I'm too clueless to know how. What if-what if you die? And what-"

Sam wrapped his free hand around my neck and gently pulled my lips to his. The kiss was passionate and emotional and the only reason I broke away from him was to let go of a sob. "I'm sorry I dragged you into this," he said softly, pulling me into a hug so I could ugly cry onto his shoulder without feeling as if I was being judged. "But it's started. And if anything is going to make me better, it's finishing the third trial. The longer I go without moving toward that, the sicker I get. No amount of magic or-or-or great powers is going to change what happens in the end. I can feel it inside me. It's...it's big. Bigger than me and probably bigger than you." He pulled away so he could look into my watery blue eyes. "You can't leave the bunker until I do this...until Crowley is locked up forever. I can't be out there, trying to figure things out and worry about you at the same time. That is how you can help me."

"I can't...feel you in here. When you're out there and I'm in here, something is-is muting our connection. The warding or the spells or...what if something happens and I can't feel it?" I knew I sounded pretty whiney and pathetic but I was beyond caring. Realizing that he was probably going to leave soon was making me feel pretty damn helpless.

"Dean will call you." Shaking his head, he chuckled a little. "Trust me...if something happens to me, Dean will call everyone he knows to try and help me."

Then he kissed me again, trying to convey something in the touch that he couldn't quite put into words. It was enough to get me to silently agree with his plea. It was enough to understand that even though it was frustrating to be here, it was the least I could do to help him.

"Like that's gonna help anything," Dean growled, as he stomped back into the room.

Not as quickly as the grumpy Winchester hoped, we pulled apart, Sam rubbing his thumbs under my eyes in an effort to hide the falling tears. I was sure that it was a fruitless effort but I appreciated it all the same. "Okay. I'll stay."

The relief in his eyes was apparent. "Thank you."

"What's that? You were gonna leave?" Dean asked, his eyes looking like he was excited about the possibility of a fight. "Now?"

Sam huffed, "She's staying, Dean. Calm down."

Dean shifted, placated but a little disappointed that he couldn't argue about something. It was odd that just a few days ago, the eldest Winchester wanted to throw me out but now he would be furious if I left. "I guess we should print off that stuff Kevin sent in that file."

"Yeah," Sam agreed, giving my thigh one last squeeze before slowly getting up.

For the rest of the day, the brothers mulled over the paperwork while I cleaned up and fixed dinner. When I set the chicken and vegetables on the table, Dean made a face but didn't say anything. Even though Sam had said that nothing would make him feel better except moving forward with the third trial, I figured some healthy, whole foods couldn't hurt. Dean would just have to suck it up. Plus, I'd popped a frozen apple pie into the oven; hopefully, the smell that would soon be filling the bunker would turn that frown upside down.

"With Kevin, gone, another prophet has to be activated, right?" Sam asked as he tried to nibble on a carrot. I didn't take it personally - the man just didn't have an appetite. "Has anybody heard anything?"

"Not a peep," Dean replied, pouring enough barbecue sauce on his chicken to make it unidentifiable.

"What about Cass? Have you heard anything from him?" I asked both of them.

Dean made a face and rolled his eyes.

Sam sighed, "No. I don't think that we will either."

"Yeah, he's long gone with that damn angel tablet, probably burying it at the top of Timbuktu," Dean grumbled.

"Well, we have this stuff." Sam pushed his plate away as he started sorting through the papers that he'd printed off earlier.

I grabbed his plate, Dean's plate, and my own and walked toward the kitchen, the smell of pie heavy in the air. The aroma hadn't made its way into Dean's nostrils yet or else he'd be in here snooping, most likely. As the guys scoured those pages yet again, I started cleaning up the kitchen, washing dishes, and putting leftovers in the fridge. Just as the oven dinged, Sam walked in quickly, looking more energetic than he had in days.

"Hey," he said, looking over my shoulder as I put the pie on the counter. "Well, if he didn't like you before, he will now."

I shrugged, grinning up at him. "I forced all that healthy food on him. It's the least I could do."

"I don't know if he's going to get a chance to eat it." I looked up at him, trying not to look too crestfallen but probably failing. "I think we found something. It's not much but it's something. A symbol, a petroglyph, that is leading us to a Native American tribe in Colorado. I think it might be where we can find Metatron?"

Looking confused, I asked, "The transformer?"

For the first time in days, Sam smiled at me as if I were a kindred spirit. "That's what I said...the first time I heard that name."

"I guess I should have been paying attention to all that mumbo jumbo you guys were talking about in there. I supposed it's my world now so I better learn it," I laughed.

Sam's face softened. "It doesn't have to be. After this is all over, maybe-"

Dean popped his head in the kitchen, hanging on the door. "Sam! We gotta roll," Then as he smelled the dessert, he had a physical reaction that almost appeared cartoonish. "Is that-is that pie?"

"You want me to wrap it up for you? I can put it in something."

Dean growled. "No time. But save me some?"

"You got it."

After Dean trotted off, Sam leaned down, gently put his hands on my face, and kissed me, leaving a lingering tingle on my lips after he'd pulled away. "Stay inside."

"I will."

"Even if you feel...something through our connection, don't leave. I'll be fine, okay?" I nodded, squeezing his biceps. "Wish us luck."

"Good luck," I mumbled as he walked out of the kitchen and I followed after him, like a lost little puppy. "If you get a minute, call me and at least let me know that you're okay."

"Yeah, yeah, I will." He stumbled a little going up the steps but besides that, he seemed to find his second wind with the discovery of that glyphy thing they were chasing. Then the door was slammed closed, locked, and I was alone once again.

~~WIWL~~

I could bore you with the details of what I did for the next couple of days but I won't because it was just that - boring. As much as I liked to fill my time with cleaning, there was only so much that I could do before I ran out of things to do. The place was big but I was terrified I'd Lysol the wrong thing and ruin some precious and rare artifact. After I'd cleaned, I decided to go a step further and investigate some of these rooms with the overwhelming boxes of files and books. I didn't know where to start so I just picked one. That was where I was when I heard the creaking of the big door and Sam call out my name. Almost slipping on the files I had laying on the floor around me, I zipped down the hall and stopped short at the sight of Castiel looking a little worse for wear.

"Cass!" Even though he leaned away, I hugged him anyway. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Dean stormed past, bumping his shoulder roughly against the angel's. "How are you? Samandriel alerted me to the fact that you'd been caught by Crowley. I wanted to find you and get you out but-but I had the tablet. It would be too dangerous."

A little hurt by the fact that Castiel knew I was in Crowley's clutches and had held more importance in that damn tablet than my safety, I pushed it to the back of my mind. I was just glad he was here and safe. "So, do you still have it? The tablet?"

The frown on his ashamed face told me the answer. "No, Crowley-"

"Crowley has it," Sam butted in, obviously not too happy with Cass either if the sideways look he gave him said anything. I can't imagine what his reaction was after he'd learned that Castiel ignored Samandriel instead of helping me. He could have at least told Sam and Dean so they would be able to look for me. "How're things here?"

Castiel walked away as I reached my arms around Sam and squeezed. "Quiet. Boring." My stomach dropped when I felt how warm he still was, his sweat-soaked shirt sticking to his slick back "Glad you're back."

"Me too." His lips pressed against the top of my head briefly. "We got Kevin."

I pulled away with a gasp and a smile. "He's alive?!" Sam nodded, pressing lips together in a tired smile. "That's great! Where is he?"

"Uh...he went his own way. But we have a way to stay in touch."

"Is that safe?"

Sam shrugged. "We really didn't have a choice. Kevin was pretty adamant about getting out there on his own. I think he's trying to figure out if his mom is still alive."

"Poor kid…"

"Yeah. I'm gonna go clean up." After a squeeze to my shoulder, Sam walked away, toward his bedroom.

With a start, I realized that Cass was still standing beside me, looking forlorn in the direction that Dean had gone. "They're very angry with me. I screwed up. Again."

"They'll forgive you, Cass." I put my hand on his back, unable to keep from comforting him no matter how much he'd hurt me.

"What about you? Do you forgive me?" His blue eyes were pleading as he turned his head to look at me.

I wasn't sure if I forgave him or not but I was terrified of what he'd do if I didn't say yes. The guy looked so damn lost. "Of course. I can't say it doesn't sting a little but I forgive you."

The smallest smile turned the corners of his mouth upward. "Thank you, Eva."

My eyes roamed all over his battered face. "Come sit down and tell me what happened. I'll clean you up a little."

After I'd grabbed a warm, wet rag from the kitchen, I sat down beside him as he told me his angel tablet adventure. The guy had a plan to continuously visit Biggerson's food chains around the country so that his angel buds couldn't figure out where he was. And it had worked for a time until they did some real damage to keep him from moving on. "They were members of Naomi's old faction and they're not only out for the tablet. They wanted revenge for her death and they blame me for it." He winced a little as I patted at a particularly bloody spot by his eye. "They are now being led by an angel named Josiah and his followers have taken over Naomi's goal - to establish rule in heaven. They tortured me for the tablet but I wouldn't give it to them. But Crowley had one of them working for him and when he showed up..." Ashamed, he looked down at his feet. "He got the angel tablet. I should have given it to Sam and Dean. I should have-"

"Hey…" I put my hand on his shoulder. "It'll be okay."

His blue eyes were so full of regret and sadness. "I don't know what was on that tablet. Crowley may be able to end all angels with it."

"But we know where the prophet is so the tablet is worthless, right?" He nodded. "So, let's focus on keeping Kevin safe."

~~WIWL~~

When Sam got out of the shower, he walked back into his room with just a towel draped around his hips. He looked shocked to see me, sitting on the bed and just waiting to hear what had happened in Colorado. As sick as he was, I was a moth to his flame and I couldn't help but admire the water glistening on his tan, smooth skin.

"See something you like?" When my eyes snapped up to his, I realized that I'd been caught staring. Thankfully, there was an amused, arrogant smirk on his face.

Getting off the bed, I smiled sheepishly in return and wandered over to him, wrapping my arms around his middle. "What do you think?"

His eyes were playful, the curve of his lips enticing so I was positive it was his fault that I stood on my toes and kissed his lips. Groaning, he weaved his arms around my back tightly, picking me up off the floor so suddenly I squeaked. Then we fell backward onto the bed, half-laughing, and half-kissing and for the first time in a really long time, it felt like Sam was back. The Sam that I'd fallen for not so long ago.

"If you're not feeling good, you really should rest. I'm not-"

Fervently, he cut me off, kissing the lights out of me, making me wonder what exactly I'd been worried about before. His bare knee fell between my thighs and his large, warm palm roamed under my shirt. Moaning, I ran my fingers through his wet hair, hitching my knee around his barely covered hip. Panting heavily, he pulled away, looking down at me with such tenderness in his eyes that I nearly started crying.

"Let's just...let's pretend that I'm fine and there are no trials, no demons or monsters." As he spoke, I ran my fingers up and down his back, making him shudder. "Nothing outside this room exists for the next hour."

"Two hours," I suggested, moving my fingers just a little bit lower.

He grinned. "I'll do my best."

Two hours of hot, sweaty sex would have been amazing but unfortunately, Sam wasn't up for it. But what he was up for, I'd never, ever complain about because it was one of the best hours of my life. And afterward, with heavy lids, he told me about Colorado and meeting Metatron. Then about how he'd saved Kevin from Crowley's clutches.

"What now?" I asked, running my fingers softly over his chest, skimming through the soft patch of hair, and then tracing his anti-possession tattoo with my fingertip.

"Now...we try to figure out what 'cure a demon' means," he grunted, frustrated already. The time of there-are-no-trials quickly fading away as we got back into it.

"I would think that it would just mean making them human, right? Giving them a soul?" I asked. "Is that even possible?"

"Whatever it means, it has to be possible otherwise it wouldn't be on the tablet."

Sam fell asleep shortly after but I was wired so I crept out of bed, got dressed, and headed back out to the communal area. Castiel was looking around the various books and weaponry adorning the small study as if he were in awe. When he heard me coming, he turned in surprise. "I figured you were in bed for the night."

I shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. How are you feeling?"

"I'm healing slowly. I'll be better soon but Sam…" His eyes flashed to mine, looking worried.

"I know...I know...but there's nothing we can do except hope that completing this trial fixes him," I told him.

"The chances of that happening are very slim, Eva."

I walked away from him, too high from spending time with Sam to be brought down by Castiel's gloom and doom perspective. I know it was reality but sometimes I just had to have a little hope. And it wasn't a secret - I knew where Sam was possibly heading so I didn't need the angel to point it out to me and expect me to do what? I couldn't do anything. All I wanted to do was focus on what I could do.

"No pie left?" Dean grouched, narrowing his eyes at me. I couldn't help it - I laughed. "What's so funny?"

"It just...it feels good to have a simple problem instead of…" I waved my hand around, "ugh."

His face softened. "You know, lack of pie is not a simple problem. I take my dessert very seriously."

"There's some in the fridge. You just have to dig for it." I opened the door to the fridge and moved some things around, pulling out the pie that I'd made for him a few days ago. "You want me to warm it up? You can't put it in the microwave."

"Why not?" he pouted.

"Because it gets all soggy and gross in there. Give me twenty minutes and it'll taste fresh out of the oven." Ignoring the look of longing he gave me, I shooed him away and turned on the oven. Twenty-three minutes later, I was putting a plate in front of him, along with a glass of milk. "Enjoy."

"Do I need to tip you?"

"Only if it's in hundreds." He grunted and shrugged in response. I sat down across from him, looking at all the files spread out everywhere reminding me that I needed to clean up the mess I'd made in room 7B. "Where's Castiel?" Dean shrugged, clearing his throat as if he could care less. I didn't have the energy to try to patch up the damage the angel had done when he took the tablet and then lost the tablet. Plus, no matter what I said, Dean's anger went much deeper than anything I could have told him. Picking up something that was written in Latin, I asked, "What can I help with? What are we looking for?"

Looking surprised, he asked, "You want to help? I thought you were anti-research."

"No, I'm just not good at it. I feel like I'm more of a hindrance than help sometimes so I just try to stay out of the way. But if I can help, I want to."

After a bite of pie, he moaned and held up a finger as if he needed complete silence while he savored the mouthful. "That's good." Shuffling the files, he instructed, "Uh, anything on curing a demon...instructions, what that could mean, experiments, spells...anything."

For the next several hours, we went through file after file, searching for anything that even remotely said something about curing a demon. I'd found spells for bewitching an enemy, instructions on reverse exorcisms, getting rid of satanic birthmarks (believe it or not) but nothing about curing a demon.

"I feel like we're not even pulling files from the right filing cabinet," I huffed. "Where did you get this stuff from?"

Dean shrugged, pointing to some drawers in the study. "Right over there."

Didn't he know that the good stuff was always kept buried deeper than that? "I'll be back. I'm gonna go look in some of those rooms."

"Okay but if it looks fishy...don't smell it, taste it, rub it, or talk to it," he advised.

"Good advice," I winced, realizing that advice was spoken from experience.

"Hey, I'm serious." He shook his head once and made an I-told-you-so-face. "Lots of freaky stuff in this place. If you come back here with slime coming out of your ears and an evil doppelganger, it'll be your fault."

Shaking my head, I walked to the same room I'd been in when they'd gotten home that evening. I frowned at the mess I'd made on the floor, trying to remember if I'd read anything that would point me in the demon-curing direction. Then something caught my eye and I cocked my head to read it better. It was in Latin but it looked familiar as if I'd read it before somewhere. Maybe when I was trying to translate the books that my dad had given me. It read Spiritualis Somno Excitare which if I remembered correctly meant "Spiritual Awakening" and something was written beside it in English, in red ink and underlined- "Demonic...". Demonic spiritual awakening.

"That's weird," I muttered out loud. Even though it probably didn't mean anything, I set it aside because it was the first thing I found even remotely close to what we were looking for. After I put the stuff in a pile and put it away, I grabbed that page and took it back to the study to show Dean. I found him with his head resting on his arm and snoring beside his empty plate. I snorted, "Lightweight."

With nothing else to do, I went back to 7B and continued searching for anything that might help. There was so much research, decades of research, and it didn't seem to be in any order that I could figure out. Then I realized that maybe there was an order to it, just not any common order that one might expect to find. Being a secret society made them paranoid so there had to be some sort of rhyme to their reason; I just had to find it. Standing, I looked around the room, chewing on my lip and trying to figure out where they would put the code, so to speak.

It took me an hour but I found it in another room, inside of a book. And that code needed to be translated too - the answers on the listed pages of the book. These Men of Letters dudes had way too much time on their hands, I decided as I took the book out to the study. Dean had gotten up at some point and I assumed, went to bed because he and his empty plate were missing when I sat back down. Then I started working on the organization of room 7B. Was it the most helpful thing I could do? No, I'm sure it wasn't but I was positive that it would come in handy one day.

By the time Dean wandered back into the dining room, the sun was coming up and my eyes were nearly crossed from the constant reading and flipping back and forth of pages to search for things. I'd go into detail on what I'd been doing but by the end of my explanation, you'd probably be cross-eyed too.

"You ever go to bed?" he asked, voice cracking from sleep.

"No, but I figured out the filing order of room 7B!" I exclaimed.

In response to my excitement, he closed an eye and held up a hand. "Knock it down a notch, Wonder Woman...some of us need quiet time before coffee."

"Sorry," I squeaked.

As he shuffled off to the kitchen, house slippers dragging on the floor with every step, I tried to finish up the organizing. After a few minutes, he came back out and put a cup in front of me, and plopped down in the chair. As he sipped, I eyed him carefully until he waved his hand for me to continue. I didn't hesitate, "Have you ever been in room 7B?" He shook his head, taking another sip. "I'm sure there are other rooms like it but there are just shelves and cabinets of research and spells and...well, you get the picture. While you guys were gone, I started going through it but I couldn't figure out how they had that stuff organized. It just seemed stuck in these cabinets all random so I looked for some sort of map or code and I found it. Then I translated it."

Looking thoughtful, he grumbled, "And this...code, this translation...it makes you happy?" I nodded, smiling like a madwoman. "You are a much bigger nerd than Sam. And I don't say that to a lot of people."

"I accept that," I shrugged.

"Did you come across anything that might be helpful?" he asked.

"Uh, well, there's this but I'm not sure how helpful it would be." I handed him the page with the demonic spiritual awakening on it. "The rest is in Latin. I'm sure you guys can read it better than I can and I doubt it will help but…" I trailed off as he read it, taking a sip of my own coffee.

"Sam will have to translate it. He's got that geeky app on his computer," Dean blinked at it for a few seconds and then set it down with a yawn.

"What will I have to translate?" Sam asked, not looking refreshed at all as he shuffled toward us from his bedroom. I handed him the cup of coffee Dean had poured for me and he sat down next to me. "Thanks."

"This…" Dean handed him the paper.

Sam blinked heavily, trying to clear the morning sleep out of his eyes. "Uh...spiritual awakening...gimme a minute." As he sipped some coffee, I told him about my organization project that I'd done overnight, trying to dial down the excitement just a little. "Have you, uh, slept at all?"

I shook my head, my eyes big. "It just feels good to do something useful."

Dean grimaced. "Sammy, as much as you want her to stay in the bunker, I think she needs some fresh air."

The smile fell off my face and was replaced with alarm. "What? Do I sound nuts?" Sam tried to smile but it looked more like a wince and Dean made a sorry-not-sorry face. "It'll come in handy at some point, right?"

Sam put his hand on my back in a very supportive manner. "Oh, yeah, absolutely." Then he glared at Dean, who was slow on the uptake.

"Yes, yes, oh yes, it will," he managed to choke out in an exaggerated manner as if he were trying to get people to buy something that he'd never tried.

"You'd be a crappy salesman," I accused. "I'm gonna go shower."

On my way to the bathroom, I passed Castiel who still looked like Eeyore. "Morning, Castiel," I greeted.

"Good morning."

"Where were you all night? You don't sleep, right?" I pulled his coat aside to look at his wound but it was mostly healed.

"Sometimes if I'm healing, being still helps speed that process along."

"Good to see you feeling better," I told him, squeezing his arm.

"Thank you, Eva."

When I was squeaky clean, smelled nice, and put on some clean clothes, I headed back to where the guys were researching to see them setting up some sort of movie projector. "What's going on?"

Sam filled me in as Castiel walked in holding a bag of jiffy pop. For a being that doesn't need to eat, he sure ingested a lot of food. In an odd moment, I wondered if angels pooped and then I imagined Cass running to the bathroom, newspaper tucked under his arm and I snorted. Sam looked at me oddly and I explained, "Slap happy."

"That usually means you should go to sleep," he advised.

"I will. After this, I'll go lay down."

In a nutshell, the boys had found a clue in the form of a scribble which led them to - tada! - room 7B where they discovered just how handy my little cataloging skills were along with a dungeon. Yeah, they had a dungeon that they didn't even know existed. Hell, I'd been in that room all night and I'd managed to overlook the dungeon. Anyways, the scribble led them to a movie film which they'd prepared to play in the dining room as sort of mid-morning entertainment, I supposed. The movie was horrifying and I was positive that I wouldn't be able to sleep after viewing it. It was an attempted cleansing of a demon that ended with the demon escaping and the human with his chest torn out. But it was decided that we were on the right track with the footage so Sam found that someone who was involved with that particular experiment was still alive and a priest in St. Louis. The thought of them going so close to my home in Missouri made me a little verklempt.

Sam looked at me. "You wanna come? Get out of the house?"

"Yes!" I tried hard to keep my excitement dialed down but I'm sure it was obvious. "How long do you think we'll be gone?"

"Uh...well, maybe overnight, depending upon how fast Dean drives."

"We'll be back by this time tomorrow," Dean mentioned as he passed us, heading for the stairs. "Come on, you two. If we're gonna go, let's go."

I glanced behind us at Cass who was standing alone, watching us and looking terribly sad. "Are you coming?"

"No, he's staying," Dean called out as he walked out the door.

The angel's head dropped. I looked at Sam. "Maybe I should stay? He looks so miserable."

Sam glanced at Castiel, the look in his eyes proving that he was still plenty angry at the angel. "Are you sure?"

My heart sank as I watched Cass walk slowly toward the kitchen, an empty pan of Jiffy Pop hanging from his hand. Even though I had a strong desire to get out of this building and breathe in some fresh air, I couldn't stand the thought of Castiel sitting in this place by himself with the weight of Dean's anger on his shoulders. "I'll stay. Maybe next time."

Sam leaned down and kissed me softly, the warmth of his forehead reminding me that every kiss, every touch could be the last. "Be careful!" I yelled as he walked up the stairs, slowly but surely. "Let me know if you need anything!"

"We'll pick up dinner for tomorrow night," he said, coughing as he walked out the door.

It slammed shut and I jumped, my chest getting heavy as it locked. If they figured out the third trial, would they come back first before attempting to complete it? Or would they just go for it, leaving me in the dark? They'd surely tell Castiel, right? I turned, watching him come back into the communal room with a piece of paper in his hand.

"I thought you were going with them."

"Nah," I grinned, "Not when I can hang with you."

He smiled a little. "You feel sorry for me."

"Yeah, I do," I sighed, not bothering to hide it. "What's that?"

Castiel held up the list. "I'm going to the store for them. So they have some food. Is there anything you need? I can add it to the list."

Yeah, this guy made some stupid mistakes but he was just so precious. He was just so desperate to be on their good side that he was willing to go fetch beer and food so they had it when they got back. "You can get me some more of that chamomile tea that Sam likes. And some Tylenol. Oh! And some chocolate ice cream." Castiel furiously scribbled on the paper as I talked but when he looked up at me, his eyes were the same shade of sad. "I'll tell you what - while you're out, I'll take a nap and when you get back, we'll play Monopoly."

His blue eyes lit up a little. "I have to warn you - I tend to buy up Boardwalk every time. It is always my opponent's downfall."

I laughed, "We'll see about that."

After he'd gone, I went into Sam's bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Now that I was lying down, I hoped that Cass would take his time because a couple of hours of good sleep would be nice. It was true that since I'd gotten my full powers, I didn't need as much sleep but I still loved doing it. As I lay there and my eyelids grew heavy, I did something stupid. I never, ever thought I'd be one of those weird girls who would grab their boyfriend's pillow and smell it just because it reminded them of the person that wasn't there but wouldn't you know it, I didn't hesitate to do it. I grabbed up his pillow, held it to my face, and took a deep breath in. Yeah, it smelled like sweat and some sort of car or gun oil but deep down, there was a trace of what I could only pinpoint as Sam. And even though the smell of sweat was overpowering, I sniffed it again. Then, if you didn't think I could get any sadder, I held it tightly to my chest so I could pretend for just a minute that he was there.