Fighting Destiny 9

Chapter 26 Why Baby Nate Died Gemma's Version

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Gemma was still reeling from Baby Nate's death, but now that she had some time to think about it, she blamed Tara for it. The reason was simple; Tara made a defective baby who forgot to breath. That's what the whole SIDS thing really was about. That's why Tara was blaming her for Baby Nate's death; she didn't want to face up to her role in her son's death. Tara compounded things when she killed the baby by talking Jax into taking Baby Nate off life support.

As long as oxygen was flowing into that baby's lungs and his heart was beating, there was hope that Baby Nate might live. She might not have told Jax taking Baby Nate off life support was the same as murder today, but she still felt that way.

Tara made a defective baby and then killed him by making a bad medical decision. It was clear what needed to be done; Jax and Tara needed to split up, get divorced and then Tara needed to leave town for good.

The destruction of Jax and Tara's marriage wasn't just wishful thinking on her part. Marriages were tested by great tragedies and despite all the feel good movies to the contrary, the odds were against marriages surviving tragedy. Sooner or later, that marriage was going to break up and the sooner the better. By sooner, she meant before Jax and Tara could leave for Louisiana.

When she got out of the hospital, she decided against saying good-bye to Baby Nate. It was too sad and Baby Nate was dead, his body empty so there was nothing she could do for Baby Nate by saying good-bye to him.

He had been a sweet, fun baby and she had loved him very much despite Tara being his mother. She would miss him, but Jax was young and would father many more children. Baby Nate was not going to be the last of her grandchildren. He would be the last of Jax and defective Tara's children if her plans worked out.

She could buy some time to destroy Jax and Tara's marriage if she went to prison for giving Otto that crucifix that he used to kill the nurse. Jax would never be able to stay faithful. He'd put his dick into a string of girls and, sooner or later, one of them was going to get pregnant even if that meant she had to slip into his house and put holes in his condoms. She wanted another grandson from a woman that wasn't Tara.

She needed to figure out a way to get the information to the police about Tara taking the crucifix to Otto so he would recant his statement about the Sons past crimes without it coming back to her. In the short term, that would stop Jax and Tara from leaving town and in the long term, Tara getting locked up would destroy her marriage.

In a worst case scenario, she would talk Clay into hiring someone to permanently take care of Tara. That would keep Jax in Charming because he would need her to lean on to care for Abel and to help him with his grief over Tara's death.

She wouldn't feel guilty about having Tara killed because Tara deserved to die for killing Baby Nate. She also didn't feel guilty because with the death of Baby Nate, she no longer considered Tara family.

Time to get busy and make some phone calls, Gemma thought as she picked up her phone.

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"***

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While Tara took a nap at the cabin with Abel, Jax called Clay to tell him they were going to stay at the cabin for a few days but he would be back to close the next two deals.

Jax went outside to call Opie because he didn't want to risk either Tara or Abel overhearing the conversation. They hadn't told Abel about Baby Nate yet.

"How are you doing?" Opie asked.

"Getting through a minute at a time," Jax said. "Staying at the cabin will help a little. I need to ask for a big favor."

"Anything you need brother," Opie replied immediately.

"We went back to the house to pack a few things. Tara went ahead to the house while I told Gemma we had taken Baby Nate off life support. When I came back to the house, I found Tara on the floor in Baby Nate's room clutching his bunny to her chest and sobbing like her heart was shredded.

"I'm torn apart, but Tara is just devastated. I've never seen her like this. She has periods of time where she seems OK and then other times, she's just crushed. I'm trying to think of anything I can do to make things easier for her. I know this is a tough ask, but could you and Donna go over to the house and pack up Baby Nate's stuff in boxes. We're going to be leaving soon and it will tear her apart to have to pack up his stuff."

"Sure, we can help with that. I'll get Pops to watch the kids. Shouldn't take too long. I just can't believe the little guy is just gone like that."

"I know. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. If I didn't have to be strong for Tara and Abel, I think I might fall apart. I don't have that luxury."

"You've always got me."

"Thanks bro. After you box stuff up, just leave the boxes in his room."

"OK. Have you talked to Clay?"

"Yeah, I told him I'd be back for the next deal. Thanks for the help."

"Take care of yourself."

"I will," Jax promised and ended the call. Time to go back into the cabin and break Abel's heart.

Both Tara and Abel were still asleep when he went back inside and looked in on them. They were sleeping side by side in one of the twin beds in the cabin's second bedroom. Tara's hand was resting on Abel's back.

Jax took the other twin bed in the room and shut his eyes for a few minutes. He couldn't sleep. His mind went in circles on everything he needed to get done before they headed to Louisiana.

Getting out of Charming would help them all start over and having Baby Nate's ashes would bring him and Tara comfort. He didn't think they would tell Abel that they had Baby Nate's body burned up and the ashes placed in an urn. He was too young to understand and it would scare the hell out of the poor kid. It would have been just as hard to tell him that they put Baby Nate in a box, dug a hole and put him in it.

Jax drifted off for a few minutes but woke up when he heard Tara and Abel stirring. He knew Tara loved Abel fiercely, but she had a special level of love for Baby Nate because she'd carried him inside her body and given birth to him. That sense of loss was something that he could only try to imagine.

Tara caught Jax's eyes and gave him a little nod. It was time to give the news to Abel. Jax went over and sat on the bed next to Abel. Tara was sitting on the other side of him. Jax and Tara's bodies were angled on the bed so they could see each other and Abel.

"Abel, Mommy and me have something to tell you about Baby Nate."

"Where he is at?" Abel asked.

"Baby Nate got sick all at once yesterday. Daddy and I were at the hospital with him but he was just too sick. Sometimes little babies get really sick and die. That's what happened to Baby Nate."

"I'm not a little baby," Abel said.

"No you're a big kid," Tara said.

"Do you know what "die" means?" Jax asked.

Abel shook his head.

"It means that Baby Nate had to go away up to Heaven and he can't be with us anymore," Tara said.

"Why?"

"That's just what happens when your body gets really sick," Jax said.

"Mommy can fix him," Abel said.

"Mommy couldn't fix him," Jax said. "Sometimes even Mommy can't fix a baby."

"Baby Nate can't go to Heaven. He can't take care of him. Who's going to take care of him?" Abel asked looking very worried.

"Remember the stories I told you about Grandpa JT and that he's in Heaven now?"

Abel nodded.

"He's going to take care of Baby Nate and feed him and change his diapers and play with him," Jax said.

"I don't want Baby Nate to go. I have to teach him stuff," Abel said, his eyes filling with tears. "He's too little to go away."

"I know sweetie," Tara said softly, tears spilling down her face, "but Baby Nate didn't have a choice and we didn't have a choice. He just got too sick to stay here. Now his body doesn't hurt and he's happy."

"Maybe he'll come tomorrow," Abel said tears spilling down his face. He just couldn't understand that he would never see Baby Nate again.

"Baby Nate can hear us when we talk to him," Jax said. "If you miss Baby Nate you can talk to him. He can't talk back because he doesn't know how to talk, but he'll hear you."

"Is Baby Nate crying because he can't be with us?"

"Baby Nate can see us and Grandpa JT is taking good care of him. He's feeding him his bottle right now," Tara said.

The three of them hugged each other for a long time taking comfort in being a family.