A/N: This chapter acts as the Season 2 premiere of this story. Also takes place prior to the events where Athena meets Team RWBY the next day after this chapter took place, as explained in flashback during the next review episode in my RWBY's Nostalgia Commentary Collection story.

In this twenty-sixth review and the story's Season 2 premiere, Athena Cykes finds out what another add-on, known as the Sega 32x, for the Sega Genesis console is like, and tries out some of the games that were made for its catalogue, including Primal Rage and classic gory shooter game Doom.

Athena Cykes' Accessory Review of Sega 32X (Season 2 Premiere)

After another fine day in LA and the day after doing her Spider-Man and Sega CD game reviews, Athena had come back from work as she prepares to review the Sega 32X after she did the Sega CD, as promised.

"The Sega CD had its place in history, as I mentioned last night all about it. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a piece of shit. But it had a certain appeal. The 32X is the real deal. It sucks. Oh god, it sucks.", Athena starts off as she finds and shown the Sega 32X accessory, popping it in as she said, "You plop it on the top of the Genesis, like they're mating. God, I mean, do you think that's enough add-ons? It doesn't even look aesthetically presentable. I mean, it's just like an ugly tumor. I mean, did they really need all this bullshit leeching on the Genesis? That poor Genesis is just thinking: "Oh, please, God, take this shit off me." It's like getting gang-raped. Both of its slots are getting fucked at the same time. And picture this. If it was a Model 1 Genesis, it would have been even more of a spectacular mess. And there's metal prongs you have to insert into its... slot. And there's something wrong here. This whole thing is just a mountain of cockadookie. So, what does the 32X do? Well, it's compatible with all your 16-bit Genesis games, but it also has its own library of 32-bit games."

She looks over to her shelf of Sega Genesis and 32X game collection, noticing that the Sega 32X cartridges have no end labels unlike the Genesis game library.

The orange-haired girl continued, "Oh, you gotta love this. No end labels on the cartridges. May I ask why?", examining the Genesis cartridges, "Here's the Genesis games. You can read them. You can see what they are. If I'm trying to pick out a game, I can just visually scan my eyeballs across them without having to this.", before she examines the 32X cartridges and being confused on what it was with no labels on it, "Oh, what's this? Oh, Virtua Fighter. What's this? Oh, Star Wars. What's this? Primal Rage. The same thing as Atari. Labeled, not labeled. Labeled, not labeled. Labeled, labeled...and not labeled. Even Nintendo's guilty of the same thing. If you labeled the older games, why can't you do the same with the newer ones? Who came along and said, 'Okay, we're going to have better graphics, better games, and, oh, those end labels gotta go'? When did this idea of simple convenience become obsolete?"

Pausing for a moment, she then proceeds to talk about the console spectations.

"Now, about the 32X, hooking up this bastard is just insane. Believe it or not, like the Sega CD, it has its own fuckin' power adapter. That's great. I mean, now you got three. And trying to hook them all up at the same time is a friggin' nightmare. Let's look at the most minimum amount of effort it could possibly take. So, I'm plugging it into the TV, and now, I obviously can't plug in all three of these things. So, here's the most basic power strip you can get. Every big store sells these things. These are common. So, I plug in my fucking power strip or whatever. Here goes the Genesis, the Sega CD, and...", Athena said, plugging the two adapter plugs into her power strip but no room for the 32X adapter plug, "...bullshit. What a load of fucking bullshit. How did they fuck this up so bad? I can't even turn it the other way because it doesn't fit. Why can I only plug in two power adapters? Why can't these go sideways? Or, better yet, why the hell do they have these box things? Why can't it just be a single plug? Even the Atari 5200 with its huge-ass box, it still ends with a normal plug. You know, that really pisses me off. I-I even have a camera, which I just bought this year, and it has a box like that. We live in the year 2007, and they can't figure out that shit like that takes up too much room?! These fucking things should be banned! Have plugs! Not box plugs!"

She sighed in disappointment.

The female attorney continued, "So, anyway, let's fire this monster up and play some Primal Rage."

Primal Rage

Athena then places the 32X cartridge of Primal Rage into the console's accessory, but when the game starts, she could see nothing visible on the game's title screen besides the background.

"Great title screen, huh? There isn't even any title at all.", sarcastically notices Athena, as she goes to the character select menu only to find nothing seen but the background again, "What is this? Wh-wait a minute. Oh, please, God, tell me what's going on. Why can't I see the characters? I'm playing Invisible Primal Rage!", exclaiming this.

That was when she decided to remove the Primal Rage cartridge from the 32X accessory.

The orange-haired attorney then said, "Alright, let's try Virtua Fighter."

Virtua Fighter

She proceeds to place the Virtua Fighter cartridge into the 32X accessory, but as she boots the game up and starts the fighting game, this time the characters and arena were invisible.

"What the fuck?! Guess what? We left something out. There's another cable which connects the Genesis to the 32X.", said the female lawyer as she found the missing component cable to connect both the Genesis console and the 32X accessory, whilst ranting, "Isn't it enough that the damn thing is inserted on to the top of the Genesis? Why does it need another connector? Look at this. It's a fucking mess. And what a perfect visual analogy! Sega invented the 32X to increase the lifespan of the Genesis, and that's exactly what the friggin' thing looks like. It's on life support."

Once the missing cable was hooked up, Athena removed the Virtua Fighter 32X cartridge in order to try out Primal Rage once again to see the result.

Primal Rage (second try)

Athena reviewed, "So there's Primal Rage, which to my recollection looks nowhere near as good as the arcade. In fact, I'm not even sure how much better it looks in the Genesis version. You got all the moves, the farting, the puking, the pissing, which I can't do, so if you want to try that out, be my guest. I mean, that's what I hate about this game: the moves, they're so awkward. Especially the fatality moves. I mean, just forget about them. It's always something like, 'Hold these three buttons and then tap some weird combination on the control pad.' I don't know why they make any moves that require you to hit Up, because, you know what happens? You jump. I'm sorry, but when I have to download a move list and remember all kinds of combinations of buttons, that just ruins the game for me."

Doom

"Then you got Doom, which is one of my all-time favorites, but the music sounds like shit.", considers the orange-haired girl, "Compare it to the Super Nintendo version for example. Also, the Super Nintendo version has more levels. The only thing it lacks are the graphics, they're horrible. On the 32X they're better, but my point is, everything should be better."

Virtua Fighter (second try)

The female attorney said after placing the Virtua Fighter cartridge into the console, "Now, you got Virtua Fighter. It was one of the first 3D fighting games, and it sure looks like it. I really hate how every time you jump it's like you're on the moon. God! The control sucks. And the characters act like they have problems. Nuff said."

Star Wars

"Now, we got Star Wars. Yeah, it's an arcade classic, but I don't know about this one. I mean, the graphics are...balls. Everything looks like a polygon and it's...putting me to sleep.", Athena Cykes verdicted after placing the Star Wars 32X game cartridge in the Sega 32X, before taking it out after playing a bit of it.

Once Athena finished going through the Sega 32X game library, she overall stated, "Like my Sega CD video, keep in mind I'm limited to how many games I can review. I'm aware that I'm leaving out popular ones such as Snatcher on the Sega CD and Knuckles' Chaotix on the 32X. But remember, if I don't have the game, I can't review it. It doesn't matter anyway, because I wanted to focus on the console itself. The bottom line, the 32X sucked and it was one of the biggest failures of all time, and to celebrate their failure, or just for shits and giggles, they released a few CD-32X games, which required both the 32X and the Sega CD. So, if you happened to own this pile of vomit and this piece of shit, you can mix the two together."

The female attorney then brings out both the Sega CD and the 32X accessory together as she makes her next statement.

"So, you can clearly see the 32X was just not worth it, and gamers were too smart to be suckered in because they know this piece of junk would be abandoned shortly because the Sega Saturn was on its way. Hell, it was already out in Japan, so nobody gave two fucks about this beast. It cost about $150 when it first came out, and the only people who bought it, they had mechanical problems. So, on top of that, there were rumors that it could damage your Genesis games,and I don't even know if that was true or not.", continued the orange-haired girl, "The Sega Saturn was released in the U.S. about 6 months later. Only about 40 games or maybe less came out for the 32X before it bit the dust! I mean, what kind of marketing was that?! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! And on top of that, Sega had yet another console planned in between called the Neptune, which was scrapped pretty quickly. All it was going to be was a stand-alone 32X, anyway...WHICH IS WHAT IT SHOULD HAVE FUCKING BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Disappointed, Athena then took a moment to calm down after her rant before she would continue.

Athena says, "So, not only was the Saturn on the way, but so was the PlayStation and the Nintendo 64. Gamers knew it was a better idea to just wait, and stores were selling the 32X for about $20. I got mine from a flea market for only $2.50. I'M DEAD FUCKIN' SERIOUS.", who then sighs as she disposes the Sega CD and the 32X accessory aside like some of the other games she reviewed, excusing herself, "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go lie down for a while.", as she left her gaming/work room to go take a nap.

End of Athena Cykes' Accessory Review of Sega 32X

Up Next: Athena Cykes' Movie Review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III