AN: Hello, everyone! I'm so happy to be with you. Today's featured song is Blurry by Puddle of Mudd (the namesake of this chapter). This song is a longtime favorite of mine. It's another perfect example of music that reminds me of my childhood, in which I greatly inherited my father's music taste. The song also quite deeply reminds me of how Eugene might be feeling in this situation that New Dream have found themselves currently trapped in, in which he feels as though everything has been taken away from him. This song really encompasses their circumstance well, and I adore when that happens: when music and literature are placed side-by-side, and evoke emotions from us which we hadn't previously realized that we had.
I apologize that it's taken me nearly a month to update, but life has been crazy the last few weeks. The good news is that my university will be on summer break for the next few months, and although I'll still be working, I'm beyond excited to have more writing time. I'll be entering my final year of college this upcoming semester, and I am so thrilled about that! Let's all cross our fingers that, in the coming months, I'll have much more free time to write, and thus will be able to update on a much more frequent schedule again.
Last (but certainly not least), this chapter is dedicated to the-writer1988. You are simply the best, and I always enjoy our daily Tangled chats.
Chapter 25: There's Oceans In Between Us, but that's Not Very Far
I am lost without you, I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble, then I crawl…
Flynn Rider hadn't needed anyone. Actually, he'd quite preferred to work alone.
Flynn Rider had been a selfish son-of-a-bitch, the poster child for self-serving behavior which was fueled by nasty abandonment issues. He hadn't given much of a shit about anyone but himself, always searching for the greatest outcome which could prove worthy to his own self-interest. He'd been pissed off at the world for dealing him such a pathetic hand of cards, and he'd subconsciously been chasing after his own death far before he'd realized that's what he'd been doing. Really, Flynn Rider hadn't had much of anything to live for – well, aside from the worthless pipedream that money could actually fill the sorry void in his heart.
A void ripped open by the altogether elegant title of 'orphan,' and a void that only one person would have the power to someday fill.
Flynn Rider, as he'd so eloquently convinced himself for so many years before meeting his true love, hadn't needed anyone but himself. He hadn't needed anyone; mostly because anyone but himself possessed the keen ability to stab him in the back just as many times as he was willing to stab them in theirs. Which, admittedly, had been a lot of times.
Flynn Rider hadn't needed anyone.
Eugene Fitzherbert, on the other hand… he needs someone. He needs someone so badly that he can't eat, can't sleep, and can barely even think when that someone is gone. When that someone is gone, the sun ceases to shine, and the world feels no less dark and empty than it had when he'd still been living vicariously as Flynn Rider. Eugene Fitzherbert needs someone; a very certain someone. Oh, does he ever.
And maybe that's the real difference between Flynn Rider and Eugene Fitzherbert. Sure, they'd both always needed – they'd both chased after – the very same, most simple thing: love. But their methods of receiving that love and subsequent validation are altogether different. Flynn Rider had been perfectly content with getting fucked by a different woman each time that he yearned for the short-lived, no-strings-attached satisfaction of a one night stand. Oppositely, the thought of being inside of another woman ever again makes Eugene Fitzherbert physically ill.
It wasn't poetic and it wasn't fulfilling – the way that Eugene had lived before her – despite the many times in which he'd tried to convince himself that it was. Often, Eugene romanticizes his time as Flynn Rider, far more than he should; even though he knows that, while Flynn had kept him alive for a time, he'd been his own undoing, as well. Being Flynn Rider was not glamorous, it was not romantic, and it is not something to be proud of. Rather, his lifestyle had been dirty, and sneaky, and lacked all of the things that his heart was truly yearning for all along: stability, and genuine adoration (rather than the misguided adoration which comes with being an infamous, successful thief), and even a shred of self-worth.
Flynn Rider hadn't known his worth then. He hadn't believed himself to be worthy of anything, really. He'd blown up his ego so large, if only to mask a broken, abandoned heart which was so desperately damaged, seemingly incapable of ever being whole again. He'd been so pathetically empty, so borderline suicidal (if one were to take into account the particular type of jobs that he was actually willing to carry out), because no one had wanted him as a child. No one had cared. Not enough to stop him from waltzing blindly down the wrong path; a path which surely would've gotten Eugene killed, had it not been for the beautiful girl with long, golden hair shoving him hard off of it.
And from the jaded perspective of Flynn Rider, when no one in the world wants you – when no one cares if you're dead or alive – what's the point of trying to stay in the world? What's the point of actively trying to evade death? What's the point of trying to avoid the rope which would imminently find itself around your neck?
And sure, he'd had Lance. He'd even had Stalyan, for a time. But Lance had some nasty abandonment issues of his own, and Stalyan couldn't love Eugene in the way that he'd needed, anyway. None of them knew any better, and none of them knew enough; not nearly enough to save one another. Not when they could barely save themselves.
At the height of his career, Flynn Rider hadn't allowed the numbness of his heart to wear off long enough to truly feel sorry for himself, and surely not long enough to feel sorry for his self-serving actions. He could pass off his selfishness as his only means of survival, and his ego could inflate because he was just so good at what he did, and he never had to feel sorry for it. But now, that same numbness which Eugene has purposefully ignored for years, has finally caught up to him. And there is no viable escape.
Perhaps this is just another unfortunate commonality between him and his alter ego, because Eugene Fitzherbert feels numb as hell right now. The difference is, he doesn't feel quite numb enough to not feel sorry for himself, and he definitely feels sorry for his selfish actions. For the first time in a year and a half, Eugene feels entirely empty, but for entirely different reasons than Flynn Rider ever had.
He feels empty, because he's actually been given a taste of what it's like when an abandoned heart finally finds its rightful home; only to have the door of that home slammed so brazenly in his face.
In present day, Eugene is undeniably numb, because the one person who had wanted him, isn't here anymore, and it's all his fault. And maybe he's never really deserved her, maybe he's really always just been waiting on himself to fuck this up. But undeserving of her or not, he is utterly empty without her, and the void in Eugene's heart never stands a chance of being filled again until she's returned to her rightful place in his arms.
And despite this painful, unbearable numbness, Eugene Fitzherbert is conscious in the midst of his grief. Well, at the very least, he's conscious enough to know that he can't get Rapunzel back by the power of his own sheer will, love, and determination alone – no matter how badly he wishes that he could. No, this rescue mission is not a single man operation. This isn't a situation which can be approached Flynn Rider Style. No matter how badly Eugene wishes that he could be, he is not enough to get her back on his own merit; not as he'd once been. This is an altogether different beast that they're facing now, and Eugene simply cannot do this alone, even though he wants to.
Cassandra is probably waiting impatiently on Eugene now, cursing his name under her breath and completely prepared to rip him a new one, wondering where in the hell he is and why he hasn't arrived at the docks yet; the docks, which serves as the trio's agreed upon meeting location. The docks: the dreaded place in which he'd watched her go, the place in which Eugene had been forced to watch Rapunzel being taken so selfishly from him. Likely, Cass will be all-too-pleased to see the bleeding arrow wound in his upper arm, showcasing Eugene's raging stupidity and sad inability to keep his ex-flame from going completely psycho on him.
Not that Eugene doesn't deserve it, because he does. He knows that he does. He's made enough enemies in twenty-five years to last him for an entire lifetime, and perhaps the worst enemy of them all is himself. Eugene is his own worst enemy, if only because the universe is dealing him another one of those ugly hands of cards. But this time, unlike his little, orphan self, Eugene has provoked the hand which dealt his fate. He deserves this, and he knows that.
'Karma's a real bitch… isn't it, Fitzherbjerk?'
He can just hear her now. Eugene can so clearly hear Cass's voice; mocking him, hating him. Blaming him. It's understandable, really. It's understandable, Cassandra's coldness toward him. After all, Eugene hates and blames himself, too. He could blame the council for digging up the seemingly-nulled marriage agreement with Maddoline after nineteen years, and he could blame the king and queen for being so depressed that they lost all legality over their own kingdom, and he could blame the universe for fucking him over for the millionth time.
But really, he can only blame himself. Eugene can only blame his own recklessness, his own weakness; his stupid inability to let Rapunzel go for the sake of her safety.
"Fuck!" Eugene curses under his breath as he jogs sloppily through the empty hallway, one hand wrapped tightly around the blood-soaked cloth which has been tied haphazardly around his bicep, sucking in a sharp breath of air as a throbbing pain rips through his upper arm. "Fuck, this shit hurts."
Frantically, Eugene shakes his head, trying to will the creeping dizziness away. He's desperate to force his heavy eyes to remain open and determined to keep himself from tripping over his own two feet as he makes his way through the castle, praying that he doesn't run into a group of darkly-dressed men with ill intentions.
Get her back, get her back. Just get her back. That's all you have to do. You don't matter. Your pain does not matter, your exhaustion does not matter. She. She is all that matters.
But if that were true, you wouldn't be in this mess; she wouldn't be in this mess. You've been putting yourself – your wants, your needs, your desires – before what's best for her! That's why she's gone, that's why he took her. Because you're selfish, and an idiot, and can't keep your dick in your pants for long enough to save her. She probably would've been better off if you would've just stayed dead on that fucking tower floor –
No, not true. You don't have time for this. You don't have time for this self-loathing bullshit. Get to her, get her back. Then – and only then – can you hate yourself to your heart's twisted content.
With dragging, wobbly steps, Eugene makes his way down the main castle hallway, searching for the side door in which he'd originally entered from – well, before his fateful run-in with Stalyan the Magnificently-Aimed Archer. If he can just get back to the tucked away gardens without passing out, he should be able to sneak his way across the palace grounds and hopefully arrive at the docks unnoticed.
The gardens. Just get to the gardens and go from there.
From the very day of her return, Rapunzel had absolutely adored the palace gardens. Wide-eyed and filled to the brim with her usual adventurous spirit, she would visit them nearly every day, always so eager to find the newest subject to fulfill her latest journal entry. The once-lost princess knew each gardener by name, and they adored her, because she truly appreciated their work. No one but the queen had done that in years; and even Queen Arianna was not quite as forthcoming with whimsical compliments as her curious, bubbly daughter.
'How is it that flowers can be so vibrant in color? How is it that everything in the world is so beautiful in its own, special way?' Eugene can just hear her now, chirping on about the immense beauty of the world. And what had the world given her in return for adoring it so much?
Two kidnappings and a lousy, selfish boyfriend.
On frequent occasion, Rapunzel would hand an unsuspecting gardener a drawing of the flowers in which they'd planted, leaving them completely dumbfounded by the detailed thoughtfulness of their princess. As they'd waited for her for those long, eighteen years, none of Rapunzel's subjects had anticipated receiving a princess who was quite so kind, and considerate, and warm in heart. She truly was a princess worth waiting for.
And here they are, waiting for her all over again. An entire kingdom left in mourning, a beautiful symbol of that kingdom taken unfairly from them. And now, the mourning is so much deeper, because they'd actually gotten a taste of her. Only to have her ripped away, all because of his selfish actions.
Again.
Passing the doors of the grand ballroom, Eugene swallows down a plethora of nostalgia-tinted memories; memories which are dipped in gold, only because they're marked entirely by her. His fuzzy mind recalls every ball, every dance they'd ever shared, and every time that she'd smiled up at him, standing there in the middle of a crowded room, green eyes twinkling in the candlelight of the overhanging chandeliers. She would always stare at him as though he were the only man in the entire world, her soul captured by him completely. Eugene recalls every hidden look, every whisper, and every dress she'd ever worn to every stuffy, regal event. He recalls that gold dress: the dress that she'd worn on Christmas Eve night.
She'd looked utterly gorgeous that evening. Their first holiday season together, he'd pulled her into the palace gardens where he'd marveled her beauty in the moonlight, unable to comprehend how he – an orphan and a thief – was lucky enough to have found her. How he was lucky enough to get such beautiful karma in the form of her, after remaining undeserving of virtually any good karma at all for so long.
That evening, she'd spun on her tiptoes around him, pressing her little, soft hand into his as they'd danced the night away, turning gracefully around him in that gold dress which made his head spin faster than her many layers of skirts could go. And later that night, she'd stolen him away to his bedroom, pushed that gold dress up to pool at her hips, and he'd watched her cum for the first time. And at that point, Eugene had believed it impossible to fall even more in love with her, but he was wrong. He was always wrong about that.
Enchanting, that's what she is. Enchanting, and magical, and some unbelievable kind of perfect. So smart, and so warmhearted, and so affectionate. So full of strength, and light, and pure sunshine. She leaves him awestruck every single time that he has the privilege to look at her. It's only been a measly week since the last time that his eyes have laid upon her beautiful face, but God, does it feel like years. And it's absolutely tearing Eugene up, ripping at him slowly and taking him apart, seam by unraveling seam.
She's like the smell of rain on pavement, she's like the warmth of the sun on your skin after a winter season that felt as though it would last forevermore, and she glitters brighter than the chandeliers which hung above their heads at every painfully stuffy ball in which they'd been expected to attend. She's unpredictable, she's always finding a way to surprise him. And yet, she's so familiar to him that nothing could ever be more comforting than finding a home in her.
And he's so in love! God, he's so in love with her that it actually hurts. It's physically painful to be away from her like this, leaving Eugene feeling as though an entire limb has been ripped clean off of his aching body. His body, which aches for her in every waking moment, so aware of the agony of her disappearance which follows his deep-seated guilt like a lost puppy. He doesn't even want to go on without her, doesn't want to move through the blurred days like a drunk who doesn't know up from down, and he's never felt this way about another person in his entire life. Eugene Fitzherbert and Flynn Rider alike have never felt this way over losing someone before, because they hadn't needed anyone before her!
Her feet are always bare, and her nose peppered with freckles, and her smile always bright. She knows each constellation, can point them out by name, and has the power to make him forget that the rest of the universe even exists as she stares up at it, because she is his entire universe. She is the most adorably frustrating creature that he has ever laid his eyes on, making it so incredibly hard not to shove her into an empty sitting room and kiss her silly at every public event.
And he needs her.
She's so kind, so caring; so caring, in fact, that she puts everyone before herself, over and over again. Her parents, her people… her people! For her people, she has given up her dearest dream. For her people, she's allowed their dreams of marriage, and children, and growing old together to slip right through her hands, the twisted aftermath of her fiery loyalty to her kingdom burning her own fingertips. She gave up the dream that she'd held closest to her heart, the one that she'd kept in the invisible locket around her neck. She gave up him. She married that fucking prince, because the happiness of her people would always mean more to her than her own happiness.
Because that's just the kind of person that Rapunzel is. She is selfless, and captivating, and if you dare to fall in love with her (which is so painfully easy to do), she will literally tear you apart without meaning to at all.
And Pascal! Pascal is always perched there upon her shoulder, her dearest little friend. In all honesty, it had been a bit weird at first when he'd only just met her, the fact that she carries an amphibian around on her shoulder. But the habit is entirely endearing, really. It's endearing, the deep love that she has for the smallest of things. Admittedly, Eugene has come to grow fond of the frog himself, and he swears that a blurry, green blob is coming toward him now. But his vision is growing more and more funneled by the minute as he sways dangerously from the blood loss, and –
And that is Pascal! He's not just imagining things!
Right?
Pascal scurries to him, tiny feet padding on the marble, racing into Eugene's open hands.
"Hey, buddy! Come here! Come here, come here." Eugene kneels to the floor frantically, cupping his fingers so that the chameleon can patter comfortingly into them. Eugene lifts his cupped hands to his face, relief flooding through his body to see the little guy. "Where have you been?"
Pascal points upward, indicating to the upper level of the castle.
"Been hiding out in Rapunzel's old room?"
With a confirming nod, Pascal curls into a ball in Eugene's hands, turning a depressing shade of deep blue. Eugene sets his jaw, a fresh wave of pure rage coursing through his wobbling body at the sight of the miserable animal.
"Did you… were you there when he –"
When he took her.
With large, saddened eyes brimmed with retile-like tears, Pascal only nods, unable to make so much as a forlorn chirp in response, his little heart clearly unable to bear the loss of his dearest, oldest friend.
"Hey… hey. Don't you worry, buddy. We're gonna get her back." Eugene whispers, briefly wondering who he's trying to convince more: Pascal or himself. "We're gonna get her back, alright?"
Slipping Pascal into the inside pocket of his vest, Eugene presses at his pounding temple for a moment, wincing, catching his breath as he leans against the wall for a long moment. He slouches back onto a marbled pillar just long enough to gather his bearings, stealing a quick, grimaced glance at the soaked-through bandage which had been haphazardly wrapped around his bicep by a reluctant Stalyan.
Peeking out from the vest pocket, Pascal looks up at Eugene with concerned eyes, keenly able to feel Eugene's labored breathing from the hiding place against his chest. The sad chameleon chirps quietly, only once, placing a little, sticky-bottomed hand to Eugene's chest, as if to comfort him in the only way that he can, unable to console the wounded man with words that Eugene is dying to hear himself:
We will get her back. We will get her back, and she's going to be okay, and Charles is going to pay for this. He's going to fucking pay.
With a fresh surge of determination, Eugene pushes himself from the castle wall, moving forward in his steady trek to the docks where Lance and Cass are surely already waiting for him, probably having wasted no time in gathering supplies for their covert escape from Corona. Of course, he'd been too busy arguing with a desperately revengeful Stalyan to be of any help in the supplies department.
Flynn Rider had spewed enough bullshit in his alter-ego lifetime to know when it was time to be a damn good liar, and when it was time to tell partial truths. And talking to Stalyan, apologizing to her – really apologizing to her for the first time since leaving her at the altar so long ago – had been a curious mixture of truth and fabrication. An entirely different man than who he'd been as Flynn Rider, Eugene genuinely does feel sorry for the way in which he'd treated Stalyan. He doesn't particularly regret finally telling her so, finally getting it off his chest, finally finding the closure which he'd never provided her. Or himself.
It's what Rapunzel would have wanted him to do – to be the bigger, kinder person – and he knows that.
But an ugly part of Eugene (likely, the part of him with a fucking open arrow wound seeping with rage-infused blood) – a big part of him – is still unbearably furious with Stalyan for the incredibly selfish role that she's played in Rapunzel's kidnapping, and for the way that she'd treated him for so many years. The way that she'd treated him as though he were no smarter than a dog and no more worthy of her attention than one. To Stalyan, Eugene had been good for an entirety of two things: sex and stealing.
And at the toxic, fast-paced end of their tumultuous relationship, that was about it.
But what is he worth to Rapunzel, really? Is he really any better now than he was then, than the person that Eugene was when he was still with Stalyan? Is he worth more to Rapunzel than the little that he could give to her as a misguided thief and unloved orphan? Of course he is… right? Of course he is, because he's changed. He's changed for her. He's not as self-centered anymore, not as reckless, not as selfish –
But isn't he? Isn't that why they're in this mess in the first place? Because he was too selfish to let go of her, too selfish to move on? And even though moving on would've hurt like hell, Charles probably never would've felt the need to take her away from her family like this, from her kingdom; a kingdom which has already endured the loss of her once. The egotistical, arrogant prince probably never would've treated her like this if Eugene would've just been fucking stronger and walked away.
Its Eugene's own fault that Rapunzel is reliving the nightmare which had plagued her first eighteen years of life. But now, Rapunzel actually understands that what she's living, is a nightmare. She can't hide behind ignorance, can't find the strength to believe that her captor is doing this because he loves her, as Gothel had so manipulatively pounded into her sweet, trusting head. She'd never deserved it, any of it, but at least she'd been relatively safe in her tower. Now, she is not safe. Not by a long shot, not with him.
Now, Rapunzel is not quite so naïve. Now, she knows better. And Eugene is pretty sure that this knowledge – this loss of blissful ignorance – only makes all of this worse.
Eugene stumbles through the side door and into the palace gardens then, shielding his face against the bright rays of the early morning sun as the world comes to life after a long night's rest. The battered, former thief feels as though he's already been up for hours, having already escaped from the prison cell which had been his home for a miserable week, and having somehow managed to get shot in the arm.
And it's probably only eight in the morning.
This is a very big day; as far as being a colossal fuck up and horrible excuse for a boyfriend goes.
Shuffling through the gardens, Eugene makes his way down the path which leads to the palace stables, praying to the rising sun in the sky that he doesn't run into any of the strange men who'd thrown him into prison on the day that Rapunzel had been taken. The castle grounds seem to be no more than a ghost town for now, much to Eugene's relief. Coupled with his pounding head and dragging feet, Eugene isn't quite sure that he'd be able to survive much more than a well-aimed punch right now, anyway.
Then again, Eugene has enough spitting anger boiling inside of him to supply the entirety of Corona's army, so maybe he'd be capable of holding his own in a fight, arrow wound aside. That being said, he's not particularly in the mood to find out. The only thing that Eugene is even relatively in the mood for is stumbling his sorry ass to the docks, getting on a boat, and sailing the hell out of Corona to rescue the love of his life from the dirty, greedy hands of a prince who has never deserved – and never will deserve –her.
And maybe he doesn't deserve her anymore, either. But Eugene is far more concerned with rescuing Rapunzel, and far less concerned with the finer nuances of his worthiness to her. Find princess now, self-loathing later.
Mind growing foggier with each of the increasingly heavy steps that he takes, Eugene hangs his head low, doing his best to duck into the shadows as the sun gradually peaks above the horizon. With lulled difficulty, Eugene lifts his gaze only when he registers the steady pattering of hooves on thickly-packed earth, already on the defensive as the loud footsteps approach him.
Eugene squints into the golden sunlight, furrowing his brow at the white, blurry sight before him.
"Max?"
The gallant, groomed horse stands just a few feet away, neighing a quiet greeting, though his eyes quickly narrow at a clearly-swaying Eugene.
"Max! Oh, Max, thank God. Thank God you're here. You've gotta get me to the docks, please. I just need you to get me… get me to the docks." Eugene shakes his head, pressing a hand to his temple as though he were suddenly very confused. "The damn, stupid docks! God, I hate the docks! The last time that I was at the docks, I… she…"
She was on that fucking ship, slinging her leg over the railing, trying so hard to get to me. My poor, sweet girl! But she couldn't, she couldn't get to me! She couldn't, because he –
"Fuck!" Eugene leans heavily against Max's side as the horse rushes to him, a fresh wave of wooziness washing over the swaying man. "Fuck, Max. I fucked up! I fucked up so, so bad, and I don't know what to do, and –"
Max leans his head back then, nudging at Eugene's shoulder gently, prompting him to wobbly climb into the steady horse's leather saddle. Trying to steady himself without throwing up, Eugene nods quickly, praying that he can keep his bile from ending up on the cobblestone path beneath their feet.
"You're right, you're right. We should go."
With a confident throw of his head and a determined huff, Max surges forward abruptly, nearly knocking a shaky Eugene from the saddle. He grips the reigns tightly in his white-knuckled hands, thoroughly disturbed by the feeling of déjà vu which washes over him, again and again. He's done this too many times, chased after her like this.
But he has no other choice. He has to get her back, or he'll simply die.
When a winded Max arrives at the docks, sprinting down the main dock, the trio is greeted by an anxious-looking Lance and Cassandra. Eugene lowers himself from Max clumsily, leaning his palm against the horse's side in order to steady his balance as he finds himself back on solid ground (well, more solid than a thundering Max). With a bemused look in her eye, Cass creeps tentatively toward Eugene, one eyebrow cocked in clear suspicion.
"What the hell happened to you? You look like shit."
With a woozy, misguided smile, Eugene pats Max's side thankfully, ensuring the strong horse that he's done his due diligence, and that it's okay to return to the palace.
'Watch after the king and queen, won't you?' Eugene asks of Max with his eyes, knowing that he doesn't have to say anything aloud for the loyal animal to understand him completely.
'Get the princess back.'
With the conclusion of their short, wordless conversation, Max only nods and slowly treks back to the end of the dock, leaving the trio – and Pascal – to themselves. With a heavy sigh, Eugene eyes his wrapped bicep, noting the way that the thick material appears as though it had never donned its once-stark-white coloring at all.
"I got shot. Stalyan shot me, alright?" Shaking his head as though he were once again confused, Eugene stares out into the glittering harbor, looking like he's only just processing the information for the very first time himself. "Stalyan shot… she fucking shot –"
She really shot me! I mean, I actually got shot in the arm with a fucking arrow by my overly-territorial ex-fiancé! All of this isn't just some mystical, nightmarish dream sequence. I really got shot, and Rapunzel is really gone, and I can't believe that it's all my own fault! Well, I can believe that it's all my own fault, but –
"Shit, man. I mean, that girl used to toss you around good when we were younger. But that was nothing like this. Are you..." Altogether concerned, Lance peers down at his dearest friend, eyeing him closely, as though he were worried that Eugene might pass out, falling headfirst over the dock and into the waves. Which, Eugene very well might do, if he doesn't get this wound patched up soon. "Are you gonna be alright? I mean, maybe you should stay here and lie down. Cass and I can –"
"No! No, I'm fine. And I'm coming." Eugene coughs harshly, spitting at the ground, though his mouth is so dry that not much of anything comes out. "I'm not staying here. No way. No way in hell. I have to be there when we find her. I have to be the first person that she sees."
"But your arm –" Lance counters, clearly troubled over his best friend's swaying state.
"My arm is fine." Eugene argues back, biting at the ugly pain through gritted teeth. "I'm fine."
It's my heart that's really suffering, it's her that's suffering. My damn arm is the very least of my worries right now.
With curiosity contouring her dark eyes, Cassandra lingers forward, circling Eugene as she studies his bandaged arm with a piqued interest. She's clearly trying her best to hold back an amused laugh, though the accusing sound bubbles in her chest and releases into the crisp, morning air between them. It comes out more like a choking sound, as though Cass were trying to spare his feelings – a strange phenomenon which doesn't happen very often.
If ever.
"Damn… what did you do to that girl?"
With a raised finger, Eugene turns away from Cass before he can provide a satisfactory, quipped response, not at all in the mood to listen to her imminent scolding.
"Hold that thought. Thanks."
Dry heaving gracelessly as his top half droops forward, hands supporting the rest of his weight as they lean against his knees, Eugene kneels over and throws up into the harbor. The stress of the situation quickly catches up to him, fighting hard to tow Eugene under completely and drown him. Rising for air after a long moment of hurling up the scattered contents of his stomach, Eugene wipes at his mouth, turning back to Cassandra with little to no regard for her completely bewildered expression.
Well, that's new. She's never looked truly worried about me before.
"I might've left her at the altar." Waving his hand nonchalantly, Eugene shakes his head, desperate to destroy the horrifying image of Stalyan in a white dress as Cass stares at him with wide eyes, completely appalled by his inability to keep the contents of his stomach inside of his stomach. "Look, it doesn't matter. Shit's ancient history. What matters is that we get the hell out of here."
Looking around, Eugene surveys the long string of boats at the dock's edge, bobbing in the calm water as the freshly-risen sun glows golden over the harbor.
"Did you find the boat that I told you about?"
With an impatient tap of her foot and cross of her arms, Cassandra narrows her eyes at him then, her rare, worried expression abruptly transforming into a look of usual, bitter frustration.
"No, we didn't find the boat. I thought you said that you have a connection!" Cass mocks Eugene accusingly, as though this claimed 'connection' of his were the result of a completely ill-intentioned heist from a few years back.
Well, to be completely fair, it is a connection which had resulted from a completely shady situation. But Cass doesn't need to know that, and Eugene isn't about to tell her, either; not with her crossed arms, and not with the daggers that she's shooting at him with her unruly, impatient eyes.
"How are we supposed to know which boat belongs to this connection of yours, genius?"
"I do have a connection." Eugene responds defensively, sucking in a breath through his teeth as he crosses his own arms (which hurts like a bitch, but Cass doesn't need to know that, either), not about to be overpowered by a bad-tempered lady-in-waiting. "But he's… alright, he's clearly not around."
With a furrowed brow, Eugene studies their surroundings, registering that he'd passed virtually no Coronan citizens waltzing along the village cobblestones on his fast-paced horseback ride to the docks.
"No one is around."
Turning in a slow circle, Eugene shivers in the slightly-foggy, increasingly-warm morning air, trying his best to swallow down the creeping, too-familiar anxiety which had enveloped his entire body the last time that he was at these docks, sprinting down the main dock and diving headfirst into the water; only to not even get to her in time, anyway.
At least he'd tried. He should get a gold medal for trying.
"Where the hell is everyone?"
"I think that's the least of our worries right now, Fitzherbert." Cass rolls her eyes, shooting him a look that's altogether condescending.
Not that Eugene would expect much less of her.
"Maybe so, but this shit's starting to freak me out a little."
Then again, you've died and come back to life at the hands of magical tears. Is much of anything really beyond the realm of possibilities at this point?
"Alright, alright." Eugene paces for a moment, thinking, rubbing a hand against his pounding temple before turning back to his concerned onlookers with a determined expression on his face. "Okay, look. Right here. This boat looks plenty big enough for the three of us." Pascal cheeps on his shoulder, and Eugene shoots the little animal an apologetic look. "Four of us, sorry."
With a complacent sigh, Eugene stalks to the edge of the dock, praying that Cass won't give him a hard time for the suggestion brewing on his tongue, though he won't be the least bit surprised if she does.
"We're just gonna have to steal it."
Crouching on the wooden boards of the main dock, Eugene grabs at the edge of the conservatively-sized boat, pulling it against the dock so that everyone can easily step aboard. Cass, in a fresh fit of 'I know better than you, Fitzherbert', stomps over to him, peering down at Eugene against her balking brow.
"Steal it? Are you crazy? We can't steal it! We can't just – what if they need it? We have no idea who this boat belongs to!" Sputtering, Cassandra looks to Lance for support, glaring at him harshly, but the burly man only shrugs unhelpfully. "I kind of thought that you were going to find the guy and ask!"
With an annoyed sigh, Eugene rises from his crouched position, trying hard to fight the dizziness which blurs his vision as he returns to a determined stance.
"What choice do we have, Cass? First of all, this place is nothing more than a weird ghost town right now." Eugene spreads his arms wide, motioning to the strangely-quiet kingdom before them. "And number two… number two is that I don't have a backup plan, and we really don't have the time to be fucking polite here!"
Cassandra sighs heavily herself, leering at Eugene with hard eyes, always wanting to do things the proper way; the slow way.
The 'wasting time that should be spent getting to Rapunzel' way.
"Do you want to get Rapunzel back or not? Because I don't know about you, Cass, but I sure as hell do. And we don't exactly have all the time in the world to fuck around and be nice. Frankly, I don't give a flying shit about how I get to her. I just know that I have to get to her." In his own, growing frustration, trying his best not to pass out by way of the too-quick motion, Eugene grabs at the rope tithing the boat to the dock and begins to unravel it. "You're either in, or you're out. But I'm taking the boat, whether you like it or not, and I'll just have to deal with the consequences when we get back."
Lance steps forward then, crestfallen and clearly not appreciating the secondhand stress of the thick tension between two of his closest friends.
"Eugene is right, Cass. We've gone far past morality and doing the right thing here. Charles has proven that he's not interested in playing by the rules where the princess is concerned." With a defeated shrug, Lance crouches down in order to help Eugene untie the boat from the dock. "Why should we?"
With determined, crossed arms and a steady, unmoving stance, Cassandra watches on with a shallow huff and badly-hidden roll of her eyes, though she makes no move to stop Eugene's shaking hands from untying the boat any further.
"That's easy for a bunch of convicts to say. I've never stolen anything in my life!"
"To be fair, we've never actually been convicted of anything." Eugene huffs back under his breath, not at all in the mood to argue the point further; not with a pounding head, a bleeding arm, and a lost princess. "The whole crown thing was a load of bullshit. I didn't even get a fair trial!"
"You committed grand theft treason, you idiot. You didn't deserve a trial!"
"Nuance." Eugene waves his hand, throwing the last of the rope onto the boat's rocking floor. "Besides, someone's committed grand theft princess, and I think that's a whole lot worse than stealing a stupid crown." With one last glance, Eugene looks up at Cassandra from his kneeled position, daring her to question his bitter logic. "Don't you?"
"Fine. Fine." Cassandra exhales heavily with reluctantly raised hands, stepping into the small boat after Lance. "Look, as disgusting as it is… you're right. We have no other choice but to steal it." With a pointed finger in Eugene's general direction, Cass settles at the boat's bow, taking the boom which controls the direction of the sails into her hands. "But I'm not going down for this. You got that, Fitzherbert? I'm blaming this boat-jacking on you two knuckleheads."
"Oh, honey. If I go down," Eugene grins, ready to join Cass and Lance in the boat, and eager to get the hell out of Corona. "You're going down right along with –"
But before Eugene can finish the witty quip, the pounding sound of boots against wooden planks causes the heads of the trio – and Pascal – to snap to the end of the long, main dock, greeted by the face of a darkly-dressed man sprinting at full speed in their direction. In the golden, morning light, Eugene can quickly determine that this is the same man who Lance had knocked out when they'd escaped the prison cell earlier that morning.
Eugene would feel bad for the guy, under different circumstances. But he doesn't.
Rising quickly from her seat on the boat, Cass draws her sword from its sheath at her hip, immediately on the defensive.
"Looks like we've got company." The lady-in-waiting breathes defiantly, grabbing at Eugene's vest and pulling him ungracefully into the small boat. "You wanna stay and fight, Fitzherbert, or would you rather us get the hell out of here?"
"You! Stop!" The black-attired man yells from the opposite end of the lengthy dock, pointing his own sword at Eugene as he grits his teeth and wills his heart to stop pounding.
Don't do it. Don't do it, Rapunzel wouldn't want you to –
But it's far too late for his moral thoughts to have the power to stop him now. Before he can think too hard about the potential consequence, Eugene grabs for Cassandra's sword, snatching it from her hands and hoisting himself back up onto the dock, leaving Lance and Cass behind in the rocking boat.
You're supposed to run away from these guys, you idiot. Not toward them!
But I need to know… I need to know what the hell happened to her!
Running at him with all of the strength that he has left (which isn't much, abundant blood loss considered), Eugene takes the surprised, wide-eyed man by the front of the shirt, yanking him forward until they're nose to nose.
"Where the hell is everyone? What did you do?" Unable to keep his voice from rising profusely, a group of gulls squawk overhead, having been kicked up by Eugene's sudden yelling. "And where the fuck did he take her?"
Bewildered and shaken, the man moves his head rapidly from side to side, loyalty and life already promised to a kingdom on the other side of the sea.
"I'm under direct orders from the Prince of Maddoline not to speak to you about –"
"Listen, buddy, I don't give a single shit about your orders. Your beloved asshole of a prince has kidnapped the love of my life and I'm going to get her back, whether you help me or not. But your help would be deeply appreciated. So we can do this the easy way, or we can do this my way. You pick." Eugene leans forward, gritting his teeth so hard that his jaw begins to ache. "And let me just let you in on a little secret: you don't fucking want to do this my way."
"Alright, alright. God. I'll tell you what I know."
"Good choice." The furious former thief loosens his grip on the nameless man's collar, though he doesn't release the man from his grasp entirely, and Eugene doesn't lower Cass's sword which is now pointed at his chest. "Now, I'm going to ask you one more time. Where did he take the princess?"
I can assume, but I need to be sure… he could've taken her anywhere, and I need to be sure that we're not getting involved in some fruitless, wild goose chase here.
"He's returned to Maddoline. He wanted to be with his own family. The princess will be happy there, as it's a beautiful kingdom and –"
This ignorant comment rewards the man with a haphazardly-waved sword, a finger in the face, and a growingly irate Eugene tightening his grip on the front of the man's shirt once more.
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare tell me that she's going to be happy for getting kidnapped! You've gotta be really fucking sick and twisted in the head to believe that –"
"That's enough, Eugene. Eugene, I said that's enough!"
Then, Eugene feels a sharp yank at the collar of his vest, and he feels himself stumbling back, knocking into Cassandra's steady frame. The material of the man's shirt slips through Eugene's fingers, causing the man to tumble backward, as well, though he quickly catches himself before falling onto the wooden planks of the main dock.
"We need to go. Now." Cass breathes through gritted teeth, keeping a strong hold on Eugene's collar from behind. "So get your sorry ass on that boat, or so help me –"
"I'm coming." Eugene mumbles irately, glaring at the darkly-dressed man who's still standing there, staring at him, spitting brashly at his feet. "I'll be back for you and your little comrades."
But first, Rapunzel.
With another rough yank by the collar, Cass hauls a reluctant Eugene back down the dock, nudging him forward and into the awaiting boat.
"Take it easy, would you? You're gonna snap my neck if you keep yanking on me like that." Eugene huffs, rubbing at the back of his neck, eyes narrowing in Cassandra's direction as she looms over him from the dock, hands planted firmly on her hips. "I wouldn't want to deal with Rapunzel if you –"
"That was rash. That was rash and it was stupid. You should've just stayed in the damn boat!" Cass grinds, reaching forward to snatch her sword angrily from Eugene's hands, shoving it back into its rightful place at her hip. "What the fuck has gotten into you lately?"
"What's gotten – what's gotten into me?" Eugene cries, waving his hands before him. "Look around, Cass! We're on a fucking rescue mission for my girlfriend! So excuse me if my head isn't exactly twisted on straight right now! Excuse me for wanting some answers before we waltz right into hell!"
"It hasn't been twisted on straight for a long time." Grumbling under her breath, Cass kicks at the wooden dock absently, staring at the planks there with narrowed eyes.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Eugene shoots back, his gaze trained directly upon her through venomous slits.
With a steadying breath, Cassandra lifts her chin to meet his gaze head-on, never one to back down.
"Let's just make one thing very clear, Fitzherbert. I'm here for Rapunzel. Not for you. Not to babysit you, and not to keep your idiotic self out of trouble. I'm here for her sake, and that's it."
Turning away from him, Cass rejoins Lance's side in the boat as Eugene huffs in bitter frustration. He pushes hard at the side of the dock with both hands, launching the small boat into the harbor before returning his glowering gaze upon Rapunzel's dearest – and most hardheaded – friend.
"You know, I am a person, with feelings. And Rapunzel being gone has affected me just as much as anyone else, maybe more. I'm kind of in love with her, remember?"
"Could've fooled me." Cassandra breathes quietly, but Eugene still hears.
Maybe she'd wanted him to.
"Real nice, Cass. Why do you always have to be such a bitch?"
Eugene regrets the words even before they fully leave his mouth, but he's too far gone with anger to take it back now. Likely, he's angrier with himself than he actually is with her, but he really needs someone to directly take that anger out on. And Cass is making herself quite the willing target.
"You walk around acting like you've never made a mistake! I love her more than anything, you know that! Didn't we already go over this in the freaking prison cell? It's not my fault that I couldn't stop loving her!"
"You know what?" Cassandra whirs on him, equally as furious now. "Sure. I have made mistakes. Plenty of them. But at least I've learned from my mistakes. And you know what else? Maybe I am a bitch. But you, Eugene, are an absolute, fucking idiot. You let the best thing that's ever happened to you, the best thing that's ever happened to any of us, just slip away!"
Cass shakes her head in fuming disbelief, short hair bouncing around her hardened jaw as her voice rises higher and higher in the early morning air.
"All that you did was stand there and watch as she got married off to some psycho prince. And now, we have to go and save her from being kidnapped for a second time!" Stepping forward in the cramped boat, Cass presses a finger to Eugene's chest, which he quickly slaps away. "All because you couldn't put your own, selfish desires aside for just long enough to truly look out for her best interest! I told you both from the beginning that this fucking affair was going to be a bad idea, and look what happened to her! Look what the fuck happened to her!"
Clearly content with playing devil's advocate, Lance steps forward, his two cents on the situation falling from his mouth with reckless abandon.
"I hate to be the guy to say 'I told you so'… but I also kind of warned you, buddy —"
"Stay out of this, Lance!" With a quick turn, both Cass and Eugene scream in Lance's direction in the same breath, causing the happy-go-lucky man to back away from the tension-filled air between the seething pair, hands raised against his chest in bewildered surrender.
Resetting his jaw, Eugene turns back to the fuming lady-in-waiting with a curious mixture of Cass-directed-fury and self-loathing etched across his face, the deep-set guilt so visible in his eyes that Cassandra almost feels guilty herself for being so hard on him.
Almost. But not quite.
"What did you want me to do, Cassandra? Storm the altar? Make her run away with me, walk away from her? I didn't exactly have the best choices! What would've happened to her if I would've gotten kicked out of the palace? Or worse, if I'd just up and left her without a word, and hadn't been able to be there for her at all?" Eugene's waving hands fall at his side as his face falls, too, and he wills the ugly, welling tears to stay in their hidden place at the corners of his eyes. "What exactly did you want me to do, Cass? Break her heart?"
I can't do that. I could never do that. And maybe that makes me weak, but –
"Oh, please." Cass scoffs with a calculated roll of her eyes, far beyond tired of listening to his sorry excuses. "You being around didn't do Rapunzel any good. It just got her even more hurt. It made him angry enough to take her! You need to face the consequences of your actions like a man!"
"Face the cons – in case you haven't noticed, Cassandra, the love of my life was fucking kidnapped! And I have no idea what's going to happen to her, or if we're even going to be able to find her at all! I can assure you that I'm facing the damn consequences!" Eugene pinches at the bridge of his nose, completely not in the mood to get into a heated screaming match with Cassandra for the third time in only a few, nightmarish days. "I'm only one person, Cass. I really don't know what the hell you expected me to do in this situation!"
"Well, the Eugene that I used to know, would've found a way. A different way, a better way, for her. He would've done everything in his power to keep that girl out of this situation, to keep her from going through this again." Cassandra chuckles then, bitterly, shaking her head at him with clear resentment in her eyes. "Oh, yeah. I've heard every story, I've listened to every long-winded rendition about the brave Flynn Rider, who saved The Lost Princess from her tower and died for her freedom. So please, tell me. What happened to that guy? Where the hell did he go?"
"Where did he – where did he go? I'm right here, Cass! I'm still here, just like I always have been! You know, I easily could've cut my profits and ran from the moment that her parents offered me a reward for bringing her home! And to be completely honest, Flynn Rider would've! He would've jumped on that shit and left town the very moment that he had the chance!" Eugene barks, the tears really threatening to spill over now. "But I didn't. I'm here. I've always fucking been here. Watching after her, helping her adjust to her new life, doing the best that I can! Changing everything in my life, for her!"
"You know, I've never really liked you, Fitzherbert. But I sure as hell liked the guy that you were a year ago much better than the guy standing in front of me right now." Cassandra scoffs, looking him up and down with unhidden disgust. "You're a sorry excuse for a man, and Rapunzel would be stupid to take you back."
Ouch.
"Oh, yeah? And what about you, Little Miss Perfect? It's your job to look out for her! I just do it because I love her!" Eugene counters, knowing that he should take the full blame for this, but not wanting to. Not today, not right now. "But she was on your watch just as much as mine, and she got kidnapped. AGAIN. Some best friend you are!"
"Alright, fine. Maybe I fucked up, too!"
Eugene scoffs himself at her lousy 'maybe,' rolling his eyes, but doesn't say anything in retort.
"But this isn't anyone's fault as much as it is yours, Eugene, and you know it. You sticking around pushed Charles completely over the edge. I warned you – both of you – that something like this was bound to happen. That shit was going to hit the fan eventually, hard. And when we get Rapunzel, and get back to the palace..." Cassandra stares Eugene dead in the eye then, voice grinding like an un-sharpened axe on cold steel. "I don't want anything to do with you. Even less than I did before."
Eugene's shoulders sink as he takes in the finality of her statement. He knows full well that Cassandra would never say something like this if she didn't truly mean it.
"Cass... come on —"
"I mean it. When we get back to Corona, don't talk to me, don't look at me, and definitely don't try to apologize." Cassandra leans in, pressing a finger to Eugene's chest once more before turning away from him, retreating angrily to the opposite end of the boat, causing it to sway harshly in the calm, morning waves. "I won't forgive you for pushing Charles into doing this to her. And I hope she doesn't either."
'I hope she doesn't either.'
Quietly, Lance looks to Eugene in wordless support, the deep sympathy written across his face. Usually, Eugene would appreciate it, Lance's undying loyalty. But Eugene only turns his back to him and Cass, sinking onto the wooden bench on the other side of the boat, wanting nothing more than to be alone. Or, more comfortingly, alone with Rapunzel.
But that's not looking like a very feasible option right now, and Eugene has no idea when it will be again; if it will be. He prays that it will, someday soon. Because if she's not back in his arms soon, he very well might just wither away without her. And then what?
Solemnly, Eugene studies the horizon as the warm, morning sun ascends over the sea, causing the waves to glitter and glisten back at him, so bright that it almost gives him a headache. He so desperately wants to find the beauty in the refreshing scene before him – and he would, if she was here, too – but he cannot. Not right now.
He cannot find the beauty in anything right now, because any true beauty in his life had been sucked clean from the moment that Rapunzel had been taken. For Eugene, there is no beauty to be found now, because he's so fucking angry. He's angry with Charles, he's angry with the Council, he's angry with Cass, and he's so angry with himself. Most of all, he's absolutely furious with the world. He's furious with the world for forcing him to be on this very harbor – the one that she'd been taken from.
The one that he'd fallen in love with her on.
And Eugene so badly wants to stay angry at the world. And he would, if he could. Eugene so badly wants to hate the world in all of its fullness, but he can't. Not completely. He can't, because he knows that Rapunzel wouldn't want that for him. She would beg him to try to love the world, to try to find its light in the midst of her absence. He can't hate the world, not completely, because the world has given him her.
And how could Eugene possibly be angry with the very thing that has given him something as perfect as her?
Well, he could. He could, and he would, at least for now; remain utterly angry at the world, that is. Because it was terribly, horribly cruel of the universe to put something in his hands that he'd never really deserved anyway, only to snatch it away from him with such thoughtless ease. It were as though the world was playing some sick joke on him, just like it had done when Eugene was nothing more than a sad, lonely orphan.
And fuck, is he tired of being the punchline.
AN: I really hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter. I just wanted to make a quick, but what I feel to be an important, note. I've had a few conversations about jealousy lately. I felt the need to point out that some people don't enjoy the whole jealousy trope in literature, and I understand completely that New Dream (under their canon circumstances), are not a jealous couple in the slightest. They are very secure in themselves and in their relationship with one another, and quite frankly, have the healthiest relationship that I have ever seen portrayed in media.
That being said, this is an AU, and New Dream is being faced with situations in which they haven't faced before in canon. I fully understand that, in the series, if Rapunzel would've been forced into an arranged marriage, she would've raised absolute hell in order to get out of it. I'm trying my very best to depict their accurate reactions to the situations that I've placed them in, and I'm trying very hard to keep everyone in character as much as possible, while still making the story my own. Jealousy, trauma, heartbreak, and all of the heavy emotions which are touched on in this story, are incredibly complex. I can only pray that I'm doing New Dream justice in the midst of this trauma. I want to keep their relationship as healthy and canon-like as possible, all the while placing them in situations which do not all follow canon. I hope that I'm succeeding, and I hope that everyone is as excited as I am for our two lovebirds to be reunited soon enough.
I promise that the upcoming rescue is going to be epic.
Lastly, I just want to send out a massive thank you to all of my amazing readers for your always-kind words, and for still being on this journey with me after six months! Sometimes, I feel as though I've only just started writing this story, and the other part of me feels as though I've been writing it for much longer. It's hard to believe that this story hasn't always been a part of me. Regardless, I'm sending a virtual hug to each and every one of you.