August 9, 1888

It was hard not to feel sad, being away from Robert and knowing the distance between them would only grow, but Cora found her last day in London to be a surprisingly nice one. Mother had to oversee the packing and closing up the house, so Rosamund had taken it upon herself to accompany Cora shopping.

Well, what they ended up doing was talking and wandering the shops without actually buying much of anything and sitting in a café having tea and continuing to chat long after the tea had gone. And from all of that, Cora found out two things: first, she was having a wonderful time with a woman who would become her sister-in-law, and second, she and Rosamund were extremely different people.

Rosamund Painswick was, Cora realized, the water's reflection of herself. Cora knew she was born differently than she was expected to be. She was aiming for higher things, she knew. She was trying so very hard to figure out how she was supposed to act and remember to do all the things that would allow her to gain some elegance and grace that were not born in her blood. Cora was bold and self-assured, in her way, but she was also deathly afraid of all that she did not know and all she knew was improper and everything in between. And Rosamund was exactly the opposite. She was born higher than the station into which she had married. She knew exactly what to do and how to do it and what all the rules were, and she had this natural poise to her that Cora was entranced by. Rosamund did what she wanted and said what she wanted because she knew precisely what she was doing. Nothing seemed to scare her. She had fallen in love with a man with money and not much else, and she had made her life exactly what she wanted.

It was marvelous, getting to bathe in the light that was Rosamund's confidence. For all that Cora knew she was pretty and sweet and friendly, she was not comfortable in the world the way Rosamund was. It was a trait that Cora hoped to emulate one day. Perhaps when she came back and made England her permanent home, she would feel this sort of ease in the world. But even in New York, Cora knew she did not have Rosamund's confidence. Maybe it came from being married. Maybe she should ask Mother about it. Or maybe not.

The day was growing long, and they decided it would be best to not have to rush back to their respective houses to not be late for the dressing gong. They'd call for a carriage at the end of the next street. Cora had asked if they could walk by the park.

"The wisteria are in bloom, now nice," Rosamund commented.

"Robert mentioned that when we were walking in Belgrave Square together. I saw the ones in the gardens at Downton, but he mentioned that there are rather nice ones at the Dower House?"

"Yes, I think so. I remember going over there a few years ago when Marmaduke and his parents were staying there before we married, but I haven't been there since. I imagine you and your family will be there when you return to Downton," Rosamund mused.

Cora hadn't even thought about that, but she shouldn't have been surprised. Of course she wouldn't be staying at Downton Abbey for three months while they planned the wedding. Harold and her parents would all be there, at least for the wedding. It made sense that they would all stay elsewhere and not at Downton Abbey. There were plenty of guest rooms, but it probably wasn't proper to have the bride to be living in the same house as her fiancé for three months before they were wed.

A blush rose in Cora's cheeks as she thought about how many opportunities she and Robert would have to hide in a shadowy corner of a corridor or sneak into the library or an unused sitting room to steal a few kisses. But that was also the precise reason she wouldn't be allowed to stay at Downton, surely. Mother knew that Cora was madly in love with Robert, of course, but she did not know—at least Cora didn't think she knew—that their kisses had been so passionate. That last kiss before she left, Robert's lips had trailed down her neck, and she had nearly passed out from the overwhelming feelings he stirred within her. She knew things like that were not supposed to happen before the wedding, lest things go too far. Her face flushed even more at that thought. Cora did not know exactly what sort of things awaited her in marriage, at least when it came to that sort of thing. She knew she had a lot of questions to ask and a lot to learn from her mother in the next seven months before the wedding night. But Cora had been kissed before, and she knew that no kiss had ever made her feel the way Robert's did. And she wanted so very much to feel more of him and to experience all the passionate delights their marriage would surely offer. But of course, that was not for her to contemplate now. Not when Robert was so far away for so long. She would drive herself insane if she allowed herself to fixate on all that.

Rosamund started gossiping about a friend of hers that Cora had met at one of the balls earlier in the season, which allowed Cora's mind to wander to Robert's kisses and, thankfully, onto other things as well. She would have to ask Rosamund before they parted what Robert might like as a birthday present. She would surely send him something from New York so it would arrive in time for him to have on his birthday. He liked books, she knew, so perhaps she could search for something he might like in a bookshop. But she was his fiancée, and this was the first birthday present she would be giving him. She wanted it to be special. A book just did not feel very special.

There was a break in Rosamund's story, and Cora was about to interject with her question about Robert's birthday when they crossed the street and the solution presented itself. "Oh Rosamund, do you think we have time to stop in here?"

"What do you need at a photographer's studio?" Rosamund asked in confusion.

"I thought…oh no, maybe it's silly," Cora said, realizing that her first impulse had been foolish indeed.

Rosamund stopped her in front of the shop window. "Well now you must tell me what you were thinking," she insisted.

Cora bit her lip, trying not to be too embarrassed. "I was thinking about what to get Robert for his birthday, and I…"

"And you thought to give him a portrait of you?"

She nodded, feeling all the more idiotic now that Rosamund had said it out loud.

But Rosamund's face broke out into a grin. "Cora, I think that sounds lovely. Robert would really appreciate that. Particularly because his birthday is just shy of three months from now, and you'll be apart for another two months after that before you come back to England. He'll need something to remind him of how lucky he is to have such a beautiful bride returning to him."

"Do you really think he'd like it?" she asked nervously.

Rosamund rolled her eyes. "If you haven't noticed the way his eyes bug out of his head when you walk into a room, you might need to see an optician. He should certainly have a memento of your pretty face and perhaps even a bit to tempt him for what he'll have for marriage," Rosamund teased.

Cora's own eyes went wide at that. It had not occurred to her to do an enticing portrait. But now that Rosamund had said it… "Yes, I think you're right," she said in a small voice.

"Wonderful. Let's go in and see if you can sit for it right now. I think I can manage to do something with your hair, and we'll see what the photographer has for us to use," Rosamund said excitedly.

And with that, Cora was whisked inside the studio. It did not take long, in the end, and Cora found herself losing her nerves and embarrassment when she thought of Robert and how she wanted so very much to make him happy and for him to know that she was quite ready—when their wedding night came, of course—to give all of herself to him and only to him. The prospect of it filled her with what she dared to believe was a little bit of that confidence and poise that Rosamund had. Maybe she was already on her way to it herself.