A/N: As promised I bring you a second chapter for this week! Kudos to those who may know where the title came from, references are just so fun to make sometimes XD, anyway! I know I've put you guys through a lot so hopefully this one will give you guys some much needed love and brotherly fluff, enjoy!
"We all know how Donnie is, when he wakes up we can't force him to tell us anything. We need to let him have time to adjust first before we can even think about bombarding him with questions." April said calmly.
"And how long do we wait? Days? Weeks? Months? Osamu is still out there. What if he tries to use whatever method he used on Donnie again?"
"It's not that easy Raph. I told you guys that I got a glimpse of it. It's not something you can just flick your fingers and he's on the opposite side. We're dealing with serious psychological damage here. We need to be patient and let Donnie figure some things out on his own. All we can do is offer our support when he wakes up and prove we were the right choice."
"April's right. Donnie has never been one to talk about emotions but this time is different. Any sort of force we use on him could quickly send him running back to Osamu. I looked some things up and right now, Donnie's going to do whatever he feels will keep him safe. So we have to be gentle and hopefully wait for him to open up to us on his own." Leo said.
Leo stared up at the ceiling as he recalled the conversation before Donnie had awoken. After the euphoria of getting Donnie back home had dispersed, they all came to the realization that their situation wasn't going to get a hundred percent better. Leo was beyond grateful they finally had gotten Donnie back but an even bigger challenge was ahead. Getting Donnie to trust them.
But it wasn't just that. It was earning his trust back while trying to get him to open up. And even then, Donnie wasn't the only one that had heavy thoughts. The rest of them were struggling with their own turmoils that had yet to be properly discussed and taken care of. Though, that was due to Donnie not being home and finding him being the main priority. But now he was. So what was next?
Leo rubbed his eyes. This was his responsibility to control. He let himself slip and he couldn't afford to make the same mistake. He needed to focus on bringing his family back together once and for all.
Getting up from his bed, Leo glanced hazily at his bedside clock. It was just barely over two in the morning. He nodded. It was going to be one of those nights. Where it would be pointless to get any more rest and the best thing for him would be to meditate. Going over to one of his upper shelves, Leo picked out a few jasmine and lavender scents he hadn't used yet. He pulled out a packet of chamomile tea that was on top of his desk and made his way out of his room. He planned to stop by the kitchen first but as he looked over his brothers' doors, he felt the need to check on them first.
He wasted no time and quietly gripped Donnie's door. Donnie was usually the one he checked last but with just getting his brother back, Leo didn't mind breaking the routine.
He opened the door gently, poking his head through the opened space. A defeated sigh escaped him as he saw the bed was indeed empty. Taking a closer look, Leo did however notice that the blanket and sheets were spilling onto the floor in a tangled mess. That was unusual. Whenever he found himself peeking into Donnie's room, everything was neat and always looked like it was barely touched.
Anxiety started to build up as Leo closed the door and looked over to his brother's lab. The lights that could be seen below weren't on and even as Leo opened the door, the layers of dust that covered past inventions and contraptions were untouched.
"Okay, don't freak out Leo. . .maybe he's in the bathroom. . ." He stated to himself. This couldn't be a potential breaking in and kidnapping, right? Donnie had a fully automated security system that kept the lair safe against intruders. There was no way Osamu could've broken in without one of them hearing the alarms or sensing his presence.
Leo's eyes darted around the lair, hoping to see Donnie's form come from the turnstiles or the bathroom. Those were the only logical outcomes where Donnie could be.
Then again. . .
An idea clicked in Leo's head as he turned in the one direction he hadn't looked yet. It wasn't so much that he forgot it existed, it was more of the rare chance that Donnie would be there of all places. Moving smoothly against the floor, Leo quickly arrived at the dojo. He breathed in relief as he heard the familiar sound of Donnie's voice.
"I know you said coming here wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't expect it to be like this. . .Raph can barely say a full sentence to me, April secretly avoids me, and Leo. . .he's acting like I'm just gonna break. Mikey's the only one that I feel is helping me the most, and in return I think I'm helping him. Shell, I don't anymore. I don't know anything anymore. Everyone else has their own problems to handle while trying to help me adjust. If I knew things would be this complicated. . ."
Leo held his tongue as Donnie stopped talking. Was his brother talking to their father? Had he talked to their father? His heart ached. If Splinter was the only one that was able to reach Donnie emotionally, how were they all supposed to?
Leo hated that he was letting his emotional troubles get in the way of Donnie's recovery. How could he be so stupid. It was a reason why Donnie never talked to anyone. He was always afraid of adding to the burdens everyone was already carrying.
He needed to keep his emotions in check. He needed to find a way to make Donnie believe that talking to him wouldn't be adding on to the stress Leo was facing.
"I know you're there Leo, believe it or not, I've gotten better at picking up presences. . ." Donnie muttered, his head turned to the exact spot Leo was. Giving a small awkward laugh, Leo entered the dojo, taking a spot next to where Donnie was sitting. The room was lit with a few candles that were scattered around. The sweet scent of vanilla filled the air, bringing a sense of peace to both of the brothers.
"When did you get up? Leo asked as he adjusted his legs to fit his usual meditation pose.
"Couldn't sleep, you?"
"Yeah, me too." Leo said, wishing Donnie would've been more specific. "To be honest, I'm kind of surprised to see you here, Don."
"Heh, yeah, I guess this isn't my usual hangout. If I'm bothering you or-"
"Donnie," Leo interrupted, "it's perfectly okay. Besides, I'm the one that interrupted you."
Donnie looked over at his brother, giving him a gentle smile, that quickly turned downcast. "I'm guessing you heard me then?"
"Only a little bit. . ." Leo admitted.
"After Mikey came back to talk with me, it triggered something in me and the next thing I knew I was passing through the spirit world. I saw Splinter and Tang Shen." Donnie stated, his little smile returning, something that Leo genuinely missed seeing. He felt a warmth in his heart as Donnie continued to share his story. All those nights of crying here, in the dojo, and to now be having a sentimental moment with his returned brother was. . .amazing. He knew Donnie wasn't going to tell him about the torture he faced, but to just hear his brother say something, was more than he could've asked for in the moment.
"He really just sat down and talked with me about everything that happened and what needed to be done. That I needed to stop letting everyone else make decisions for me. Which led me to ultimately reject what Osamu wanted for me." Donnie said, his eyes focusing on one of the candles and it's dancing flame.
"That's amazing Donnie. That makes me feel really good to know you had that moment with Dad. So, if you don't mind me asking, what made you send Mikey that little coded message?" Leo asked, hoping to keep his brother talking.
"I'm not sure, I think it was all in the moment. Osamu only needed one more strike to kill Mikey. . .I really just saw how close he was to Shredder. I guess it was all pure instinct. I wanted to protect Mikey and once I did, I felt the need to escape with him but I knew I couldn't. So I sent him the message, hoping he would figure it out. He left and I realized just what I had done. It caused so many conflicting emotions and like I said, it must've activated as a catalyst because the next thing I knew, I was in the spirit world. "
"Wow, Donnie. That sounds scary, awesome, and so many other things at the same time."
"It was. . ." Donnie said, laying down on his shell. Leo followed, taking a moment to stare up at the ceiling.
"Donnie?" Leo asked after a couple minutes of silence.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry we didn't find you sooner. I don't know what he did to you, but I understand that it's too hard for you to talk about. But even then, I'm sorry we didn't resolve things before you were captured. I should've been there for you sooner. . .I'm sorry little brother."
"Is that why you've been beating yourself up?" Donnie asked, turning his head towards Leo.
"It's not just that Donnie. I couldn't help anyone when you were taken. We all fell apart, I fell apart right when we found you. I didn't do anything."
"Leo, your reaction to- your reaction was something you couldn't control and it was understandable. I know you Leo, you probably feared something like that happening. . .and when something happens that you fear, you blame yourself thinking it's your failure. But it wasn't. And with everyone falling apart, you know you can't control how the others feel. I know you wanted to help them but it's better to let them handle it in what way suits them."
In a moment Leo felt a portion of the stress he had been feeling slip away. Gosh how he missed these late night conversations with Donnie. His brother always knew exactly what to say to him to ease whatever stress was plaguing his mind.
"Thanks Donnie, that helps, just like all your advice."
"I know." Donnie said softly, returning his gaze to the ceiling.
"Hey Donnie?"
"Yes?"
"When did you know Osamu was lying about being in New York?" Leo asked.
"Right when you guys said it. The logical part of me quickly put all the pieces together and my overly emotional part didn't want to accept it at the time. But it made sense. Osamu gave me a long lasting drug, not being able to go or really see the outside, only letting me see the city when I had agreed to be. . .that. . .and then why it took you guys a while to find me. Like I said, I was emotional and panicked. The only person I felt comfortable trusting was Katsumi, a friend-"
"Yeah, Katsumi, we met her when we were trying to get you out. She helped us find you and to escape. She seems nice."
"She really is. She was the only one I fully trusted during the breaking-" Donnie quickly shut his mouth, realizing too late what he had said.
"The breaking?" Leo asked, his voice full of concern as he sat upright.
"Leo. . .I. . ."
"Donnie, if you're not comfortable with talking about it to me, that's perfectly okay." Leo said calmly, offering Donnie a gentle smile.
Taking a deep breath, Donnie shook his head. "The breaking was. . .Osamu's name for the torture. It was how he, Katsumi, and even me referred to it as. It lasted for two months. I never associated what he did to me as him doing it so to speak. He made me believe that he was only showing me truths about you guys and our relationship, but he heavily manipulated them. He tricked me into thinking that he knew what was best for me." Donnie sighed as he looked over to Leo. He could feel the words 'I was put into an electric chair where I saw you guys torment me for hours on end' on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't find it in him to actually say the words. At least, not yet. . .
"Donnie. . .I'm so sorry, that's horrible."
"Yeah, leave it the weak one to fall under the pressure." Donnie said nonchalantly.
"Weak? Donnie you just told me the torture lasted for two months. That's insane. Don't you realize how strong you are?"
"Heh, it doesn't feel that way. . ." Donnie said as he could feel the cold and icy depths of the tank he was subjected to. That after everything he fought through, he had given up. He could've actually died. . .if any of his brothers found out. . .Donnie knew they wouldn't think strongly of him anymore. . .he certainly didn't.
"I know it doesn't feel that way now, but it will, I know it will."
"Thanks Leo, really." Donnie said, taking the moment to sit himself upright.
The two sat in silence. One wanting to press further, the other wanting to say nothing else.
"Don?" Leo asked.
"Leo if you want to play twenty questions with me, can it wait till later?" Donnie said, reluctant to answer any more questions.
"It's not anything like that," Leo said with a chuckle. He walked over to where they had made a small memorial for Splinter, picking up an object, he returned to where he had been sitting.
Donnie watched Leo with curiosity. He saw his brother take something and conceal it in his palm. Only revealing it to Donnie when he had sat back down.
Donnie gasped, his eyes growing wide as his breath was taken away.
His fingers brushed against his mask. The last time he held it was when he took it off to put the new one Osamu gave him. Donnie tried to keep his tears from falling. It wasn't Leo's fault for bringing up memories he tried to hide from himself. It wouldn't be Leo's fault to assume his tears were for the happiness of seeing the fabric again, most likely assuming Osamu had forcefully taken it. It wouldn't be his fault, but Donnie couldn't let his brother believe in false emotions. Wiping his tears, Donnie gently took the mask.
Despite wanting to make Leo feel happy, Donnie couldn't find it in him to actually put the mask back on. He had been the one to trade it with one that was completely void of meaning and identity. This represented who he was and who he wanted to be. Putting it on wouldn't erase who he had become.
It wouldn't change the fact that he was a backstabbing, traitorous, and broken version of himself.
"Donnie?"
"Thanks Leo." Donnie said, keeping the fabric in his fist, wishing he had his belt to stuff it into.
As much as Leo wanted to question Donnie and ask his brother why he hadn't put the meaniful mask on, he had gotten enough information for one early morning. He knew it was a big move for Donnie to talk about his feelings and Leo had to take what he could get at this point.
"Do you need anything? I could heat up some pizza." He suggested, getting up once again from his position on the mats.
"I think I'll try going back to bed." Donnie said, following Leo.
"Oh yeah, I wanted to ask, did you have a nightmare? Your sheets were all messed up and tangled."
"It's complicated. . .When you go from sleeping on concrete to the most luxurious bed ever, to back to the one you've had for years, it can really affect your shell." Donnie said with a small laugh.
"That makes sense." Leo said with his own little laugh. "Then again, it's not like you really ever slept in that bed. Your desk chair is more your style."
"My poor shell." Donnie said with a smile.
Donnie and Leo looked at each other and shared a laugh, forgetting about their emotional trauma as well as the other occupants in the lair. . .
"Hey, what's with all the noise?" Raph grumbled as he opened his door sharply.
"Yeah, don't you guys know it's illegal to wake up Mikey before his ten hours of beauty rest." Mikey commented, opening his door right after Raph.
"Beauty? People in Jersey can hear ya snore. " Raph said, entering the hallway.
"Hey!"
"C'mon you two," Leo said, coming in between them, "Donnie and I were just having a conversation, that's all."
"Raph does have a point Leo. We all know if Raph doesn't sleep he's uglier than usual." Donnie said jokingly.
"You wanna take that back, brainiac?" Raph said, cracking his knuckles.
Taking a moment to push away all the memories of a threatening Raphael, Donnie found his sarcasm.
'Ah, sweet sarcasm, how I've missed you'
"How can I when it's the truth?" Donnie said, preparing a free for all.
"Alight, that's it!"
As soon as Raph pounced, Donnie moved too quickly for anyone to realize his plans. Right as Donnie moved, Leo had noticed he was the closest one to where Raph's original target had been.
"Oh no. . ." Leo gulped as he was tackled by Raph.
Once Donnie recovered from his little maneuver, he shared a look with Mikey that quickly turned into non stop laughter. Unfortunately, by the time the two stopped, Raph and Leo were already advancing.
"Uhhh Donnie. . .what's plan B?" Mikey's voice quivered as he hid behind Donnie's form.
"Hope that we can make it to my lab before they catch us. . ."
What seemed like a doable plan, quickly backfired as Mikey and Donnie were both brought into the big brawl.
It lasted a couple of minutes before the brothers laughed it off and each made their own spot in the hallway. The laughter slowly died as they all fell into the depths of sleep and the comfort of each other.
A/N: It's over, isn't it. . .? Enjoy the comforts while you can. . .
Have an awesome week guys and I'll catch ya Monday!