CHAPTER 26. THE RULE OF SHADOWS

Rose sat in the windowsill of her room, watching John as he stepped back from the fireplace and the flames started to crackle. She had dressed up the space above the mantelpiece with a row of shiny Christmas decorations. They reminded her of the time she still shared Christmas with her mother in a tiny flat, far removed from the spacious rooms here at the Tyler mansion. Memories of Bad Wolf Bay had not faded yet, but she tried to create new memories instead. John turned around and smiled.

Rose looked at him over the rim of her mug. 'Christmas used to be peak season for alien invasions.'

'Don't worry,' he said, 'I've got that covered. Everyone is fighting everyone else and they've totally forgotten about Earth. This year, Christmas is ours!' He produced a cackle.

Rose ginned at his silliness. 'Aren't you going to miss it?'

John frowned. 'What? All that eternal trouble, the gut wrenching moral dilemmas?' He nodded. 'Absolutely. But then again, I have to take care these days.'

'Yes,' she said, 'but you still almost threw yourself off the ramparts of Balmoral Castle, though. And let's not forget about the 'incident' in Cardiff when you tried to reintroduce yourself to the Torchwood team and nearly lost your head. Literally.'

'Well, no,' John muttered, 'those were stupid misunderstandings. And I did survive, after all.'

Again Rose nodded in agreement. 'But maybe, as a New Year Resolution or something, take it down a notch? Just for me?'

John took a few steps closer and Rose put down her mug in a safe place, recognising the look in his eye.

'Would you mind if something bad happened to me?'

'Now what kind of question is that?'

He looked away and Rose hopped down from the windowsill. He turned and she could see he had been joking, but now the merriment was gone.

'I would understand, you know,' he said softly, 'if you still had feelings for him. But it's getting harder, seeing you, being with you all the time but knowing that you're not really here. Always so far away.'

'I'm here.' Rose touched his hand. 'It's just…' There were words sitting on the tip of her tongue, but none of these were any good. Finally she gave up thinking it through. 'I know that you and him are the same,' she said, 'but I can't stop feeling guilty. John, he's out there, and I'm not able to help him when he's hurt or in pain. He's alone, and I'm not there.' Now that she had finally broken her silence, she found she couldn't stop talking anymore. 'At first I was so angry with him for leaving me, then later I realised he didn't have a choice. Imagine, me and the two of you, together in the TARDIS. That wouldn't have made for a very friendly situation, would it? You'd have knocked each other out before the day was over—and then you'd look to me to sort it out.'

John smirked. 'I think you could be right about the knocking-out part.'

'Please,' Rose said. 'Just give me a little more time.' She drew back her hand, expecting him to go into a huff, but to her surprise he snatched back her hand, then pulled her into a hug. He leaned down and whispered into her ear. 'You're the love of my life, and I'm not going anywhere. Promised.'

~x~

Rose sucked in a great gasp of air. She sat bolt upright, and instantly she knew it was a mistake. Her vision spun as she lay down again, various sizes of red and black dots dancing in front of her eyes. The Doctor was there in a flash. She was lying in her own bed, and she could move again. She tried to speak, but this seemed to be the only function still recovering.

'Rose…' His voice sounded close by and also miles away. He also sounded very worried. There was a deep, bone-weary tiredness in her muscles, but all that didn't matter as soon as she turned her head and looked up at him.

'Doctor?'

Finally a smile broke through, lighting up his face.

'Just stay here… Don't move around too much. It's going to be all right.'

She wanted to tell him about the other person who was with them in the room, but the words were simply too complicated for her tired mind to connect to sound. She knew he had to find this person. It was so important.

'Rest now,' the Doctor urged. 'I'll be right here.'

For once she did what she was told, and soon the Doctor's face was only in her dreams again.

~x~

Christmas had come and gone, and spring was in the bud. Rose drew her coat a little tighter as she walked the gardens of the Tyler mansion. It was still chilly, but at the same time a whole new world was unfolding all around.

She made it all the way to the edge of the property, looking out over the fields beyond. He was still alive, somewhere out there, in a parallel world far beyond her reach. She wondered if he'd managed to get himself into trouble again by now, or maybe even found a new friend, someone he could show the universe to. She would never see the TARDIS again, but that was okay. There were new days coming, new adventures, and she would never forget her days spent in that other life. She reached into her pocket and took out a small object, a bird crafted from paper. It weighed almost nothing in her hand, and when she lifted it, the spring breeze caught it right away. She watched as it drifted into the sky, higher and higher, until she finally lost sight of it.

Goodbye, Doctor.

Rose slowly turned away and headed back to the mansion.

She entered the room where John sat, reading one of the more extensive volumes the mansion's library offered. Outside the sun was already setting, throwing its last rays of light on John's face. Her breath hitched as she took in the perfection of him, almost like the first time they ever met. He noticed her then and put the book aside when she walked up to him. Something in her expression must have made him worry because his smile faded a little.

'Everything all right?' he asked.

Rose nodded. 'It is. All right, I mean. Better than all right, even.'

The look of concern disappeared, to be replaced by one of anticipation.

Rose locked her eyes on his. 'I'm ready now,' she whispered. 'Ready to be with you.'

John got up, his lean body so graceful as he approached her. She took a step closer until they were near enough for the warmth of his body to radiate through her.

Her voice almost failed her as she whispered again. 'I love you.'

That was all John needed to close the distance and pull her to him. His lips fell on hers and she knew she was finally home.

~x~

The next time Rose woke up, everything was different. Good different, this time. Even though the Doctor wasn't here now, she felt a new strength course through her. With a clearer mind, she set out to find some clothes—slowly though, as she was still a bit wobbly on her feet. Once in the corridor, she steadied herself for a moment against the bulkhead. The TARDIS answered with a vibrant buzz that Rose was surprised she understood, despite what had happened to the telepathic bond. She pushed away the memory of that moment, not yet ready to face it full on. The TARDIS made her fingertips tingle.

'Was it you, last night? With me?' Rose whispered to the ship.

The response was somewhat hesitant, but then came a sort of denial, as far as a semi-sentient ship could confirm or deny anything. 'Are you worried?' An image appeared in her mind, of herself and the Doctor, but it wasn't the Doctor, nor was he Adam. Rose recalled another fragment from her fever dreams, a blue paper bird flying on the breeze. She didn't know why she was seeing this, but there was the overwhelming sense that the story wasn't over yet.

She said, 'Show me more.'

~x~

She sat in the middle of a pile of books, tablets and a stack of other documents. Her head was beginning to hurt as she tried to stuff more and more information in there. Still, she was determined enough to finish the task. So concentrated in fact that she never even noticed John enter the room until he touched her on the shoulder and she nearly jumped three feet in the air.

He sat down next to her, legs crossed, as he waited for her to recover.

'Don't ever do that again.' She hit him on the shoulder with a cardboard folder and he actually giggled.

'Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.' He picked up one of the folders and studied its contents. 'All this stuff,' he said, 'is it really worth not eating or resting enough?'

Rose let herself fall back on the floor, exasperated. 'Yes,' she said. 'It is. I want this. I can handle it.' She leaned up on her elbows. 'Mummy and Daddy never bought me a golden ticket, even if we do live in a mansion.'

John frowned. 'But what about your plans to join Torchwood again?'

Rose sighed. 'I'm tired of working by the book. Plus, they've always believed I'm unreliable. After that little stunt of mine with UNIT, they're even less happy to see me come back. And even if they did, I'm never going to get a decent promotion anyway.' She looked at John. 'Did you know what they used to call me behind my back? Raze.'

John frowned again and put the folder back on the pile.

'Okay,' Rose continued, 'so I might not have been the most stable person after the Doctor left, but I'm so much better now. Still, reputations have this nasty little way of sticking, like you stink or something.'

'You always try to do too much on your own. Maybe you're still trying to be like him.'

Rose knew what and who he was talking about, but she chose to ignore the remark. It was cheap.

'But,' John interrupted again, 'I still could get a Torchwood job, generate some influence…'

'No.' She shook her head. 'I don't even want to think about how unhappy that would make you. You'd be clawing up the wall within a week, even at Torchwood.'

John leaned in and touched her hair. 'I'm not unhappy now. Far from it, in fact.' He proceeded to kiss Rose on the neck, then slowly moved his way down, slender fingers unbuttoning her top and slipping inside. Rose closed her eyes for a moment, savouring the feeling of his skilful hands caressing her tired body. He could always make her forget about the real world.

She suddenly sat up, rudely disrupting whatever John had in mind. 'Why can't we do this together?' Rose looked down at a slightly annoyed John.

'The two of us together, fighting monsters on a daily basis?' He grinned. 'Why not?'

Rose felt suddenly extremely pleased.

'But,' he said, 'on one condition only. I get to determine if you are proper rogue agent material, including a very thorough physical examination.'

Rose giggled at his mock-serious face. 'Deal.' He pushed her back against the floor and she let him unbutton her top further, a task he was more than happy to complete.

~x~

Rose pulled back her hand from the bulkhead, and the feeling of John's hands on her faded.

She hurried towards the console room as fast as her wobbly legs allowed.

By the time she reached the console room her legs had almost given out, her newfound energy all but depleted. The Doctor rushed to her side and helped her up onto the jump seat as she needed a few moments to regain her breath, all the while he stood watching her like a hawk. His intense scrutiny made her a little uncomfortable, but then again, she had almost died. Compared to memories of their last hour on Calius, the console room was a haven of comfort and safety.

'How long has it been?' she said.

'Five days,' the Doctor answered, 'and six hours and twenty minutes.'

'What happened to the others?'

The Doctor turned away and began fiddling with something on the console. 'You should take it easy. You're still very weak.'

Rose just stared at the Doctor as her mind handed her easy-to-assemble clues about that horrible last hour. The earthquakes, the panic; the Shadow must have destroyed the city. They had utterly failed. And judging by the Doctor's face, things might not be fixable this time. Just like their bond. The memory came back slowly, but with ruthless precision. She hadn't dreamed that, or hallucinated it. Some vital part of her was missing.

'Doctor,' she whispered, 'did I die?'

He clenched his jaw and turned to face her. 'You were clinically dead for two minutes and twenty-six seconds. Brain damage. But I fixed it, and you're not going to have any lasting problems.'

She wanted to ask about the bond, but it was like stabbing at an open wound. If they were ever going to talk about this, now was not the moment.

As if reading her thoughts, the Doctor said, 'We can never go back to Calius. That would mean going back on our own timeline. You know it's impossible.'

Rose wanted to shout and scream at him. I don't care. Go back. But she knew he was right, so instead of making a scene, she dug her fingers into the jump seat. The Doctor, seemingly oblivious to her distress, kept tinkering with those damn switches.

'Why don't we go home for a bit?' he said. 'Just to recover.'

'Home?'

'Earth.'

'But there's nothing there for us…'

He whirled around, fake smile pasted across his face. 'Sure there is. Chip shops and the Tower and that big looming Ferris wheel you people plunked in the middle of the city. I've never been on it before.'

Rose gaped. He wanted to go sightseeing? The Doctor was already busy plotting a course for London. Again, Rose didn't say anything. She didn't have the will or the strength, so she simply buried her head in her hands and wished for everything to go away.

~x~

The Doctor materialised the TARDIS in the designated time and place, making extra sure to get it right. He was having a hard enough time as it was without accidentally landing them in the middle of 25th century Disneyland, or some other alien disaster zone. Rose was still on the jump seat, almost curled up into a ball. He reminded himself to take care she wouldn't collapse halfway through his planned sightseeing trip. He halted, hand already on the door handle. Was this the right thing to do? He knew he was overcompensating, just to drown out the image of a city burning and Rose dying in his arms, but he couldn't stop himself. He threw open the door, and then he froze.

There was nothing outside but empty space and some debris, floating among the stars. He ran back to the console to check his readings, then checked them again.

Rose had walked up to the open door and stared in dumbstruck horror.

'Earth is gone…' She wheeled around. 'You got it wrong, right? We're in the wrong place?' She paused, waiting for him to respond, but he didn't. 'Doctor?'

He couldn't speak. There was no doubt about it. This wasn't a trick or an illusion. It was real.

'The debris,' Rose called out, 'is it…?'

'Earth,' the Doctor managed. 'That's all that's left… The Rift was connected to the one in Cardiff. If it opened up, the Shadow must have been able to reach Earth. They never stood a chance.'

'Can't we do anything?' Again, there was no response. 'Doctor?'

He shook his head, eyes still glued to the patch of empty space where the blue planet had once been. 'This event is part of our timeline now. We can't go back any more than to Calius.' He rushed down the ramp and slammed the door shut.

Rose sank to her knees on the metal grate, the true scale of the disaster hitting home. She began to sob. The Doctor leaned against the wooden door, his mind a swirling black hole.

After what seemed like an eternity, he turned back to Rose and gently lifted her up into his arms. There was almost no weight to her. Her arms came around his neck and she buried her face in his shoulder.

He carried her all the way to her room and to the safety of her bed, but he already knew from experience that there was no place to hide from the memories. Once he had drawn the blanket across her exhausted body, he didn't really want to leave. Still, he didn't have a clue as to how to make it better either. When she woke up, the first thing she would see was his face, the reminder of what happened. Their future together was now littered with the remains of her home planet. Even if he lived for another thousand years, he wouldn't be able to put it right. Not even for her. So, he did what he always did best: he walked out of the room and away from the woman he loved.

~x~

Officially the planet was called Garth IX, but the promoters advertised it as 'Candlestorm'. Rose believed it was an utterly lame name for a planet devoted to elaborate festivals and all sorts of other games and entertainments, but admittedly, the entertainment did prove quite spectacular. If only they could have enjoyed any of it. She tried to immerse herself in this hedonistic pleasure world, but the Doctor had been distant in his behaviour for days and the attractions of Candlestorm made no difference.

The destruction of Calius and Earth still reverberated in her soul, but Rose knew enough to realise that burying feelings was only going to hurt them in the end. The Doctor had descended into a stoic place of his own making, dragging her down along with him, and she was beginning to feel caged not being able to talk to anyone.

Rose glanced away from the insanely complicated acrobatic show being performed. The Doctor continued to watch the tumbling and bouncing, but without really seeing anything.

'Doctor? I wanna get out of here.'

He looked at her, a little disturbed now that she had pulled him out of his private thoughts, but then he got up without a word. Once outside in the fresh air, she could finally breathe again.

'I can't do this anymore,' she said.

'Okay,' he answered, 'we'll go back to the TARDIS.'

'I didn't mean this place. I meant us. I can't do whatever this is anymore. Please talk to me.'

'I don't know what you want me to say.' The Doctor retreated behind a mental wall. Rose saw it happen, for the umpteenth time this past week.

'No way,' she said, 'you're not shutting me out again. I'm not just your companion anymore, remember? I'm your wife, or partner, or whatever it's called on Gallifrey.' She waved her hands in frustration. 'What happened affected us both, and it's going to take both of us to find a way through.'

'It's very simple.' His posture was rigid and his eyes cold. 'I failed two planets, every man, woman and child killed because I didn't want to let you die. I told you before, you're my weakness and that will never change.'

Rose stared at the Doctor, trying to contain her kindling rage. He was putting this on her?

She breathed deeply, knowing the Doctor had to be exceptionally hurt for him to say something like that. She ignored the impulse to punch him in the face.

'Yes, you can't change what happened, but we still have each other. Isn't that worth anything?'

The Doctor stared at her, the same unwavering chill in his eyes. 'It doesn't mean a lot, no. You can't possibly know what it feels like to lose everything.' The Doctor blinked and his mouth slackened a bit as he realised the impact his words would have, but it was already too late.

Rose clenched her fists and pushed them against her stomach, making her body into a tight ball of cold rage. 'I have left my family for you,' she said through clenched teeth, 'twice. I have seen my own world destroyed, twice, and the first time you made me watch. You should never ever talk to me about loss.'

Almost nauseated with grief and anger, she turned her back and walked away.

~x~

The TARDIS rotor purred softly, the ship secure inside the Vortex. The Doctor leaned against the console. Inside his head, the black hole was still expanding. The worst had happened and he didn't have a clue about how to deal with it. For two days now, he and Rose had been completely avoiding each other. Now he sat here, stewing in his own mistakes. What he wanted most of all was to go back in Time and stop himself from saying those horrible things to Rose.

The rotor reflected a flash of movement behind him and he wheeled around.

Donna sat on the jump seat, looking somewhat bewildered, the little sparkly dress she wore making it look like she had just stepped out of a club. Her makeup was a little smudged on one cheek.

She stared up at him. 'I just got home and I wanted to lie down for a bit. How did I end up here again?'

The Doctor wondered exactly the same thing.

'When was the last time we met?' he asked.

'In Rose's flat, of course.' She appeared worried all of a sudden. 'Don't tell me that was some alien duplicate of yours, because I think I'll scream then.'

'No no no,' he said and smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way. 'It's good. We were there together, and Rose was real as well. We got back safely. This is the real world.'

'So how come I'm sitting here in this dress that hasn't even been paid off yet?' her eyes were wide.

'I honestly don't know,' the Doctor stammered. 'Are you feeling all right?'

'Yeah.'

'Well, can't be too bad then.' He shrugged and smiled again. Donna didn't smile back.

'Where's Rose?'

He stiffened. His former companion narrowed her eyes. Of course she would be on to him in a flash, the Doctor thought. 'She's okay.'

'You haven't lost her again, have you?'

The Doctor scowled. 'Of course not. She's perfectly fine. I hope.' Donna glared at him. 'No, really. She's in her room down the hall. Just go and check if you want.'

It was actually good to talk to someone again, the Doctor realised, even if it was to a weirdly displaced version of a highly suspicious Donna. He felt himself become a little more talkative. 'I did make a mistake,' he said. 'Can't be fixed, not even by me. It's too big.'

'Oh, don't be so stupid. Don't you ever learn? Rose has probably tried to tell you that, but I bet you didn't listen.'

The Doctor raised his eyebrows, staring at Donna. A sudden chill passed through him. He would have put it down to Donna's words hitting home, if it hadn't been for her sudden shout as she jumped up from her seat.

'There's someone here,' Donna called again. She pointed at a corner of the TARDIS. He whirled around, but there was nothing there. 'It's moving,' Donna pointed towards the ramp now.

The Doctor grabbed his sonic and quickly scanned the entire room. There was still nothing out of the ordinary, but Rose had tried to tell him something similar when she was ill. He had put it down to a hallucination brought on by fever, but what if she had been right? The entire Dalek Empire could have moved through here and he would hardly have noticed, not in his current state of mind.

'Come on,' he said. Donna followed him down into the corridors. 'Where has it gone?' he asked.

'Dunno. Somewhere in that direction.'

The Doctor ran back towards the console and initiated a shipwide search for any alien presence. The screen blipped. There were indeed traces of some sort of activity, and it seemed concentrated around Rose's room, but there was also something right here with them. He tweaked the scanner, using a different setting this time. Whatever this thing was, it couldn't hide for long.

'It's back,' Donna yelled.

The Doctor looked up, just in time to see the faintest of shapes coalesce on the other side of the console. It was a shape so vague, it looked more like a silhouette in the mist. He tried to avoid any sudden moves as he adjusted the sonic, all the time keeping his eyes on the shimmering shape in front of him. Suddenly, it trembled. The Doctor barely had time to shout as the Entity rushed at him.

~x~

Rose drummed her fingers against the arm of her chair. She planted her feet squarely on the floor, then sat up straight. She wasn't fifteen anymore and Pete had never really been a Dad to her, so why did he look as if he was going to tell her she was grounded for the rest of the week?

'Tell me about Richmond,' Pete said. He threw her another admonishing glance.

'I don't work here anymore.'

'Correct, but when you and your partner in crime decided to wreck a Torchwood mission, you made it my business, so tell me what happened.'

'You already know.'

'I want to hear it from you.'

Rose slumped back in her chair. 'It was all accidental. We answered a minor call, no clue that you people were going to be there. Protocol doesn't cover such low-level incidents. How were we to know?'

'Protocol isn't the problem, Rose. When are you going to admit it?'

'There's nothing to admit. Are we done here?'

Pete sighed and got up. He rounded the desk and stood beside Rose. She looked the other way.

'Sweetheart, there's no shame in it. You're not to blame for his behaviour. I know you wanted to allow him room to adjust, but that time has passed and his behaviour hasn't settled. It's grown worse, erratic even.'

Now Rose looked up at her father. She had to admit he was right, albeit reluctantly. As long as she and John were out on the hunt for alien interference, she could put it all down to adrenaline, but he was the same in private: hyper vigilant, with an aggressive need to control. Then there were the nightmares, or rather night terrors, when he woke up screaming, bathed in his own sweat. They hadn't made love in weeks on account of his strange behaviour at night, going out at all hours and staying away.

'I don't know…' Rose chewed her lower lip in thought. 'Sometimes I think he's bloody well possessed or something. He's never hurt me, but I keep worrying he's going to hurt himself—not on purpose, but because he doesn't take care at all anymore, almost like he wants to get himself killed.'

Behind them, the door slammed open. Rose jumped up from her chair. John stood in the doorway, all crazy-eyed, his breath coming out in great big heaving sighs, as if he had run up a dozen flights of stairs. His eyes fell on Rose, and he seemed to relax just a fraction.

'I thought you were in trouble,' he said, panting for breath.

Rose slowly shook her head, not taking her eyes off him. 'Perfectly all right,' she said. 'Now why don't we all sit down? John?'

His head shot up. 'Don't call me John. My name is the Doctor, you know that.' His expression became pleading. 'Why don't you call me by my name?' Rose knew the Director had already initiated the silent alarm, but she wished he hadn't.

'And you.' John's eyes shot towards Pete. 'You want to take her back, away from me. You can't stand me being with her.'

'All right now,' Pete said, 'that's not true.'

John took a large step towards Pete, coming face to face with him, and he thumped the desk. 'She's mine!'

Two security guards appeared in the doorway but Rose motioned for them to stop.

'John?' She tried to keep her voice steady. 'Everything's okay, right?' She put a hand on his chest, feeling his single human heart beat like a trip hammer. 'It's okay. I love you.'

John seemed to deflate. 'Oh, Rose, I'm so sorry.' He moved his mouth, wanting to say other things, but for once the man with the fastest gob on the planet was just lost for words. 'There's something wrong with me. Please help me.'

~x~

The Doctor blinked, once, twice, anxious to get a grip on what just happened. He looked up at Donna who was waiting for him to explain. 'I saw Rose,' he said. 'Not the real one, a different version of her. I was there as well, but it wasn't actually me. It can't have been.'

He pulled himself together and initiated one more scan of the console room. 'It's gone.' He almost felt disappointed.

'You're wrong,' Donna said. 'It's still around.'

He had to decide for a moment who to go with: his trusty sonic or his faithful former companion. He decided on the latter. Donna wasn't in the habit of kidding around when it came to aliens, or ghosts for that matter.

Together they headed down the corridors, eventually crossing into a part of the TARDIS he really hadn't visited in actual centuries. Donna halted and motioned for him to do another of his scans. There was no Entity in sight, but he did find traces of something else.

'Beaumont Particles?' He frowned deeply. 'That can't be.'

'What, these? It's just dust, right?' She stretched out her hand.

'No, don't!'

The Doctor's warning came too late. Donna flickered. She actually flickered as if she were a faulty light bulb. Her mouth was still opened in some reply or other, but her entire image now began to vibrate, changing Donna into that same misty silhouette from before. The only thing the Doctor could think of was that the Entity was somehow taking her over. He pointed his sonic at the mist in a last-ditch attempt to appear powerful.

'Stop that!'

It didn't stop. In fact, the Entity began to take on a shape of its own, phasing out Donna and becoming an entirely new person.

The Doctor, still pointing the sonic, slowly lowered his hand—or rather, he had instantly forgotten about being impressive. Where Donna had been before, there was now the spitting image of Rose. Her hair was different and so were her clothes, but it was Rose's eyes staring at him, her mouth moving without any sound coming from it. By the look of it she was becoming frustrated, her brows furrowing and eyes pleading as she still couldn't make herself heard. Then she waved her hand, frantically pointing at something. The image wavered again, knocking the Doctor out of his stupor.

'No wait, please, don't go!'

Then she was gone again, leaving Donna in her place.

Donna shook her head, ginger hair billowing around her face. She stared at the Doctor in absolute horror. 'I was just possessed!'

'It must have used your energy to materialise itself.'

'Yes, I'm fine, thanks.'

'I don't think she wanted to hurt you. She tried to tell me something, but she couldn't fully materialise.'

Donna had gone quiet. The Doctor looked around him, only to find an empty corridor. He had to check on her—the real Donna, who was still in stasis. At least, he hoped she was.

It took him just under a minute to reach the stasis room. He dashed towards the pod and put his hands against it. Donna's face was clearly visible through the transparent window. He checked various settings, then double-checked, before finally breathing again properly. She was fine. Of course, he still hadn't found a way to wake her up safely. Over the past week, various possibilities had crossed his mind, but all of these scenarios ended with Donna being her old self again. He was fairly certain that, given the choice, she would prefer just being alive over an eternity in stasis, but that was just it; he didn't want to make that choice, nor did he want to force her into giving up a vital part of herself.

The Doctor Donna had been a cosmic event of truly epic proportions, not a fluke. If he took that away from her, the universe would weep—and that wasn't a hyperbole. The universe had ways of compensating for paradoxes and other weaknesses. The Doctor Donna was part of the very fabric of Time and Space. He didn't even want to imagine what would happen if he removed such a vital strand from the tapestry. Being smart had also made her happy. She'd finally become what she always wanted to be. He had been very cruel in thinking that he could just take that away from her again.

His thoughts unwillingly returned to the event he had so skilfully avoided for nearly a week. He drew in a deep breath. Sometimes, he could be very set in his ways. Once a conviction formed in his head, it could take the cosmic version of a big yellow truck to pull him free of it—or, Rose Tyler. Now, he had one of two choices. Either he let go of his grief and profusely apologised to Rose, or he could come up with a one-of-a-kind singularly brilliant idea that made everything better with the push of a button.

He leaned his head into his hands. Time and Space. Paradoxes. Timelines, fixed and in flux. He lifted his head again. Timelines. His hearts began to beat faster. It couldn't be, or did he get it wrong again? He jumped up and raced back to the console room.

~x~

Rose hit the punching bag with everything she had. In this distant corner of the TARDIS, there was no one to hear her furious grunts as she raged against everything she didn't want to think about. As long as she could do this, there was nothing else. She punched the target again and the yellow ball swung to the right. She wanted to go another round but with the relentless way she'd been pushing herself, her body was on the verge of throwing in the towel. Rose collapsed in a corner, heartbeat through the roof, her lungs burning.

Right now, she hated the Doctor. Was it truly worth it, wanting to stay with him when it created so many complications? She recalled the good times they had shared—more than good, even, the best days of her life. Granted, it was a cliché, but how many could say they travelled Time and Space with the person they loved? And she did love him, beyond reason.

Was that all for nothing? Should she just demand that he take her to London and be done with it? Be done with him? Somewhere at the back of her mind nestled an awful doubt—the possibility that the Doctor had only shared himself with her because he was lonely and needed someone to cling to, and not out of true love for her.

She was brutally reminded of things lost: two entire planets, all those people. Gone. Rose tried to steady her breathing, wanting to avoid a full on panic attack. Despite her anger, she realised she needed to let the Doctor know he was not alone. If anything, she needed to remind herself of that, but would he even allow her near? Wouldn't that be setting herself up for another dose of heartache?

Rose startled as the door flew open and the Doctor burst in.

'Get ready,' he yelled. 'We're going to make a trip.' Then he was gone again, leaving her behind, flabbergasted. She dragged herself up and sprinted after him as fast as her tormented muscles allowed.

She called after him, 'What the hell are you on about?'

The Doctor was already well ahead of her, on the way to the console room, it appeared. By the time she caught up, he was grinning from ear to ear. Whatever was happening, he seemed to have left his dark self behind for now.

'What is this? Where are we going?'

'Calius.' He spun one of the dials on the console. A hint of recklessness had seeped into his eyes.

'No, we can't, remember? Our personal timelines and all that.'

'Absolutely right, but it seems I wasn't thinking properly. Must have been the shock or something. The events on Calius are both fixed and in flux at the same time. I told you that before. That fluctuation is what will allow me to interfere. We can go back.'

'How do you know for sure? I'd rather not accidentally blow up the universe.'

'I'm just very clever.' He smiled a wicked smile.

'How far back?'

His grin fell. 'Only to the period when we were both in the Underworld, and then only for a limited time. No longer than forty-eight hours.'

Rose didn't have to think for very long. 'Let's do it, then.'

The Doctor didn't hesitate either. His hands flew across the console as he plotted a course through Time and Space.

'Remember what Niyoli said?' The Doctor pulled another lever on the console, and the TARDIS shot through the Vortex towards their destination. 'She told us Adam returned from the Underworld on the day of the Festival. If we arrive one day before that, we can intercept him and stop him from taking power.'

'That means we have one day less,' Rose said.

'It doesn't matter. Adam was the catalyst for everything that happened afterwards. If we stop him, we stop the Shadow from destroying Calius and going to Earth.'

The Doctor paused and listened to the rotor. They were almost there.

'The Shadow was very powerful before,' Rose said. 'Do you think coming back from the Underworld will weaken it enough for us to defeat it?'

The Doctor looked over at Rose. He really didn't understand why he was so reluctant to tell her about the Entity. For some reason, he wanted to keep it to himself. Rose looked flushed, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail and her shirt clingy from some sort of physical activity. She was gorgeous. He felt a stab of longing, then immediately reminded himself of how unlikely it was that they would ever touch again, not after this. When everything was over, she was probably going to leave him. He swallowed, not eager to go down that road right now. He snapped himself out of it.

'Don't think about it, Rose.' He wasn't sure if he had answered her question or merely tried to reassure himself. The TARDIS wheezed into existence.

Only two days, he thought. Only two days and one very slim chance to set things right. If they failed this time, the damage would be much, much worse than before.

Even if they did find and stop Adam, how could they possibly save him from himself?