Chapter Twenty-Six: Vestiges of Regret
School had only been back in session for three days. Claire was already over it.
"What's wrong, Claire-Bear?" Toby asked for what seemed like the millionth time, slinking an affectionate arm around her waist. "You've been quieter than usual."
God, he was nice—and attentive and smart and hilarious and brave. Claire had always wanted a boyfriend like Toby…
So why was she repulsed by his touch?
"I'm fine," she forced herself to say, shrugging out of his embrace with well-practiced ease. "I've just got a little headache. No biggie!"
Desperate for a distraction from their unacknowledged tension, the two turned toward their third-wheel, whose blushing face was buried in her phone, as was the norm for the last few days. That girl definitely has a crush, Claire realized, wondering who could have possibly garnered the Trollhunter's attention without her noticing. She only hoped it wasn't Douxie. Talk about adding insult to injury, she thought resentfully.
"Jamie," Toby addressed the preoccupied girl to no avail. "Jamie!" Nothing. Queue irritating repetition. "Jamie. Jamie. JL. James!"
"What?!"
That did it. Claire rolled her eyes at the predictable trigger. "Geez, Girl," she groaned. "You've been texting like you've got a boyfriend since school started!" Let's see how she responds to being called out on it…
Toby scoffed, unintentionally spoiling the girl's investigative efforts. "Jamie's too busy being a Trollhunter for a boyfriend. Who's she gonna date, a troll?"
Before Claire could salvage her subtle inquisition, the bell rang, cutting off whatever defense Jamie would have supplied. "C'mon, guys! We're gonna be late for training!"
Sighing in defeat, the girl moved on to her next task. "You guys go on ahead," she said with an anxious glance around the hallway. "I'll catch up with you at the canals."
Her boyfriend shrugged, chill as ever. Jamie didn't even acknowledge her dismissal, taking off like a woman on the run. That suited Claire just fine. She needed privacy for her next appointment.
Checking the halls for any wayward observers, Claire sneaked her way toward the girls' locker room, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't be spotted. If anyone found out…
"What are you up to now?"
For all her effort, she really should have seen this coming. Still, she jumped and whirled around, schooling her expression into one of innocence. "Oh! Hey, guys…?" she gasped, coming face-to-face with Steve and Eli. "What do you mean, 'what am I up to'?"
"You are literally tip-toeing and peeking around corners," Eli pointed out, crossing his arms in an uncharacteristically sassy manner.
"It doesn't get much 'upper-to-something' than that," Steve added with a dumb chuckle.
Feeling defensive at the sudden interest these two idiots deigned to express in her private life, Claire steeled her features and growled, "Been sneaking around together enough to know?"
As predicted, the boys blushed. "We're not-!"
"Exactly," Claire said, turning her back on the obnoxious snoops. "So if you don't want people speculating about you, stop doing it to me."
With that, the girl continued on her personal mission much less suspiciously than before. Upon reaching the ladies' room, the Latina dropped her book bag and scanned the space for her friend. "Darc?" she called, hating the responding echo. Ugh. Where was she? Claire didn't have time to wait! She still had to run home, swap her school books for her troll books, get to training, meet up with Angor for magic lessons…
Suddenly, Darci emerged from the furthest bathroom stall, kinky hair even wilder than usual, a testament to the hassle of hiding their friendship. "C-Bomb!" she smiled and rushed to hug her friend.
Gracias a Dios. Claire accepted the darker girl into her embrace readily. "Hey, Darc," the Latina greeted, relief overpowering her excitement at finally getting to see her friend.
"I've missed you, Girl!" Darci exclaimed. "I just want Mary to get over herself so things can go back to the way they were before."
"I know," Claire agreed. "For now, we've just gotta wait out her mood. How are you? How's your dad?"
The cop's daughter rolled her eyes. "He's still obsessing about the Museum case. He says something about it just doesn't add up." Leaning in conspiratorially, Darci lowered her voice to a whisper, "I think he's right."
Uh-oh. "What do you mean?" Claire asked, clenching her fists to keep herself calm.
"Well, for one thing," Darci's eyes lit with excitement at finally being able to discuss the mysterious details of the convoluted case, "Forensics determined that multiple explosions had to cause the majority of damages to the museum, but there was no residue from any explosives known to man!"
That's because said explosives are only known to trolls, Claire opted not to say aloud. "Oh, yeah?"
"And the debris dispersal pattern shows the ceiling collapsed due to impact from above—it wasn't blown up from the inside!"
"Uh-huh…" Uh-oh…
"That's not even the weirdest part!" the girl exclaimed. "The government stepped in saying it was considered a 'classified case' and gave some BS excuse—something about strange statues that were never submitted to the museum archives being used to smuggle in explosives."
That's gotta be Bular's body! Claire realized, torn between being grossed out and relieved—until Darci continued, "Now, Dad's getting threats from superiors about how he has to stop investigating or he'll get fired!" In a rare display of vulnerability, the girl wrapped her arms around herself and sighed, "I don't want my dad to lose his job… but I don't want him to give up before we can find out for sure if Nomura was really involved."
Oh, yeah. Nomura had been giving Darci and Mary private lessons in Krav Maga before the battle at the museum. Looking back, Claire realized it must have been an effort to uncover the human Trollhunter's identity. Unfortunately, it seemed Darci had been more affected by Nomura's disappearance than she'd ever let on. "Can you text all of those details to me?" Claire requested as an idea bloomed in the back of her mind. "My mom might have some connections with a little more info that could help your dad. Maybe she'll know something?" Maybe Strickler will know who these 'superiors' are—and if they know anything about trolls?
"That's a great idea, Claire!" Darci exclaimed, hugging her friend gratefully. "You're a lifesaver!"
The Latina didn't have time to feel guilty for her deception before Darci released her and moved on. "How are things with you and Toby?"
When no reply was forthcoming, the frizzy-haired teen cast the Latina a knowing look. "That bad, huh?"
How obvious am I? With a mournful sigh, Claire dismissed her friend. "I'll tell you about it later. I've gotta go or I'll be late for tutoring."
Darci's brow furrowed inquisitively. "Since when does Claire Nunez, top of our class, need tutoring?"
Claire shrugged. "Since my mom decided it improved her chances of reelection." Since we realized we needed magic to get the next Triumbric Stone. "I'll text you when I find out more about the Museum case!"
With a final farewell, the two girls parted ways. As she walked home, Claire mulled over the implications of Detective Scott's interest in what transpired at the museum. Draal and Nomura said the Janus Order saw four new humans working with the Trollhunter. Could two detectives be trailing them? The girl shuddered at the thought of exposure.
It wasn't long before her feet guided her wandering mind home, where NotEnrique greeted her enthusiastically from his lazy place on the couch. "Heya, Sis!" he offered, muting the TV in an act of surprising consideration. "How's things a' yer state-mandated institution?"
Claire rolled her eyes at the changeling's impertinent inquiry, but answered anyway. "Normal. Boring. How was your day?"
"Well, since ya asked," NotEnrique rose from his seat on the couch and scuttled his way upstairs after his sister. "Chompsky learned, from a source tha' definitely wasn't me, tha' the bride gets a maid o' honor at 'er weddin'—"
"No."
"Aw, c'mon, Sis!" the little green twerp whined ineffectively. "Do it fer Chompsky!"
Claire growled and stomped into her room, effectively conveying her irritation the way only a big sister could. "Hermanito, do you realize how incredibly busy I am? Between pretending to babysit you, keeping my grades up in school, and now magic training—," and hiding my friendship with Darci and avoiding my boyfriend, "—I don't have time to cater to the bridal traditions of an action figure!"
"It ain't the 'action figure' yer caterin' to!" NotEnrique hopped atop the pile of school books the girl just discarded from her backpack in an effort to meet her eyes. "It's Chompsky! 'E's my bes' friend! I know 'e's gotta weird… tick. But 'oo doesn't? I jus' wanna make sure 'e's happy on 'is big day!"
Ugh. Why did her annoying buggy-eyed brother have to be so darn sweet? Slumping in defeat, Claire finished placing the last of her Trollish texts into her bag and reluctantly met NotEnrique's pleading stare. "What do I have to do?"
The changeling pumped the air triumphantly with his fist and grinned toothily. "I jus' need you an' James t' take Sally ou' with ya sometime. Pose fer a pic with some drinks. Pick outta dress. Style 'er hair all nice-like."
"Does the helmet even come off?"
"Yes," NotEnrique grimaced. "An' you don' wanna know what happens when it does."
Yikes. "Fine. Just don't say anything else. Tell Chompsky I'll do it."
Claire barely registered the changeling's gushy professions of gratitude, too focused was she on her hasty retreat. With how much work Jamie had been putting into helping her mom plan her wedding, she had to know something about bridal showers! If she was lucky, maybe she could rope the busy Trollhunter into helping with Chompsky's wedding, too.
Resolved, the girl decided she would ask after training that afternoon when everyone would be too tired to come up with a good enough excuse to avoid the ridiculous request.
As beautiful, brilliant and talented as Claire knew she was, she would trade all of it for any sort of magical affinity.
Alas, it appeared that The Powers That Be did not smile on her in that regard.
"The strain of your secrecy is robbing you of your Manna," Angor announced after her fourth failed attempt to bend the surrounding shadows. "You must come clean if you are to reach the next stages of your training."
How did he even-? Claire marveled silently. She turned toward her magic teacher, whose brow was cocked knowingly over a sharp, golden eye. With a sigh of surrender, the girl bemoaned, "But if I come clean, the Team won't accept me anymore!"
His silence only seemed to spur a slew of confessions from the deepest, darkest recesses of her heart, "They'll kick me out because I'm worthless as a Trollhunter! Jamie and Toby don't royally screw up on missions and almost cost the Team everything! And they're best friends! Once I tell Jamie I'm not into Toby anymore, she'll choose his side over mine—especially since I told her I'm trying to be better, trying to be different! Which is also why I can't tell them I've been secretly hanging out with Darc!"
"That sounds absolutely ridiculous."
The assassin's cold conclusion triggered Claire's defenses in an entirely unexpected way. "Why?" she challenged, crossing her arms and cocking her hip defiantly. "'Cause you're a troll assassin who doesn't know anything about humans?"
"No," Angor replied dispassionately, matching her fierce stare head-on. "Because these humans integrated changelings into Trollmarket, took in an undead assassin renowned for slaying Trollhunters, and have faith even when there is no hope. The evidence suggests your fears are unfounded."
Though it both pained and relieved her to admit it, Claire realized he was right. Her friends were some of the most caring and selfless individuals she'd ever met. She just knew they would love her and stick by her decision if it was in her best interest. Her gaze fell to the floor as shame took the place of her placated fear. How could she ever have thought so little of them?
The touch of a stone hand upon her shoulder drew the girl's eyes back to her teacher's. Surprised, Claire realized he was trying to comfort her! Angor gave her upper arm an awkward, yet reassuring squeeze. "Even if what you say is true, they'll keep you, in spite of the risk it poses to their goals." Then, his eyes dropped to the floor and his hand fell. Stoic once more, the troll stated firmly, "Their love is their greatest weakness."
As Angor alternated between consoling and cold, Claire couldn't help but wonder if he had come to care about them as much as they'd come to care about him. Was he resisting because Strickler still hadn't given him back his soul? Why else would he strive to remain so guarded, so detached?
"Come, Apprentice," his rough voice interrupted her silent musings. "Since you cannot clear the blocks to your manna now, you may as well learn how my people train stalklings."
The girl could not contain her gasp of delight at the suggestion. "Really?" she burst excitedly. "I get to work with Chewy?!"
"One of you must learn," the assassin stated, turning toward the exit. "No creature—especially not one as majestic as a stalkling—deserves to live life as a slave…"
Elated, Claire followed her mentor through the streets of Trollmarket toward the crystal staircase. My mentor, she tested the title out in her mind and decided it felt… right. For the first time, she was grateful Douxie had refused to teach her magic. Angor never gave up on her, despite not having done any successful spell work under his tutelage. He guided her, believed in her, and worked at her pace.
She wondered if this was what it was like for Jamie and Blinky...
"Blink, I'm gonna cum!"
For the fourth time in a row, hot delight coursed through Jamie's veins, searing her skin and blinding her eyes as she rode her lover eagerly through her peak.
"Good girl," the man growled appreciatively beneath her. His amber gaze did not leave her bouncing breasts as he commanded, "Good girl, cum on my cock."
Her moans grew more desperate as his hands grasped her ass, holding her firmly in place while her cunt tightened intolerably around his aching length. "Yes…" he rumbled low in his chest.
And then, he pounded her from below, sending her screaming into oblivion, pulling out just in time to empty himself safely upon his own stomach.
Jamie swayed atop him, nearly collapsing into the mess he'd left as she tried to regain her bearings. The man was too damn good at sex for having been human only seven days. "Wow," she conveyed her inner musings to the best of her current capability.
Blinky chuckled with a self-satisfied smirk. "Have I pleased you so well, Darling?"
"Always," the girl hummed contentedly, shimmying down her lover's legs to get a better angle for post-coital clean-up. "How are the ladies of Trollmarket not beating down the door of your library to get to you?"
As she lapped up the remains of their union, Jamie almost didn't notice the lingering silence in the wake of her seemingly inconsequential inquiry—almost. Her eyes flicked up to meet his expectantly. His frown gave her pause. "You okay, Blink?"
One of his hands hovered uncertainly beside her head before settling tenderly upon her cheek. "I wonder if you would still love me," he murmured softly, "if you knew…"
"What do you mean?" she asked, unnerved at the unexpected shift in mood. "Have you already had sex with all of them or something? Oh, God—that's why you're so good, isn't it?"
To her surprise, Blinky burst into belly laughter. "You have too much faith in me, Darling," he confessed and pulled her closer to him. "It's quite the opposite, in fact."
Jamie's eyes widened. There was no way he'd never had sex before. "Okay, how many people have you had sex with?"
He hesitated and gulped. "Three."
"Including me?" she asked, surprise making her squeak. "How could you have had sex with only three people in your entire life?!"
"It's not as if I've only had sex three times in two millennia!" the man defended himself indignantly. "I spent a long time with the same partner…"
The statement gave the teen pause as the weight behind her lover's words fully registered. "Wait," she commanded, nervousness and a little envy settling in her gut. "You were in a serious committed relationship?"
Blinky's hesitation only served to intensify the girl's anxiety. "It was an arrangement of convenience," he said carefully. "A way to meet unfulfilled needs during a pivotal time of our lives."
"Who was she?" Jamie asked before she could stop herself. Please, don't let it be someone I know…
She watched him carefully, taking in the way his Adam's apple bobbed, the way his gaze darted away from hers, the way his breath trembled on his tumultuous exhale. "You must understand," he implored shakily. "In times as horrible and dangerous as those, we would never have been accepted by the others. No potential mate would ever have claimed us—small, weak scholars that we were. We were a liability in the eyes of any competent warrior."
Jamie's mind worked in overdrive to discern the possible reasons behind his apprehension.
"Each race of troll has a different method of claiming mates," Blinky spoke more quickly as nervousness at her impending realization settled in. "Conundrums bond—it's in our nature, our instincts…and we were the last of our kind."
Suddenly, it clicked. "Oh my God, Blink…" she murmured, eyes wide, lips parted in shock. "You and your brother…"
"There was no one else!" Grip tight and gaze wild, he urged her to understand. "And we needed, desperately! We were so alone, after everything…"
Silence reigned as Jamie processed and Blinky waited, warm and trembling in her stunned embrace. Was disgust the appropriate emotional response to his confession? If so, should she be disgusted with him for resorting to such a repulsive means of meeting his basic needs; or should she be horrified that his society was one that would shun a beautiful spirit like his until he was left with little other option?
Finally, the girl reached for her vulnerable lover's hand and met his eyes, determined to grant him the same openness he'd always shown her. "What do you mean, 'Conundrums bond'?"
Blinky's shaking ceased when Jamie did not automatically reject him. "A spirit bond," he explained roughly. "It is said that only the deepest of loves can forge two souls together."
"And…" she had to know. "Did you and your brother…?"
"No," he said firmly. "I ended our arrangement when I felt...close."
Jamie's eyes fluttered in surprise. "You got close enough to-?"
"Our culture has always frowned upon such relations between family members." The girl could tell he was actively avoiding the shameful I-word. "If I had allowed the bond to manifest, it would have cost him everything. He was so brilliant and gentle and charming—anyone would have been lucky to be his mate. And the war was close to ending, we could all feel it. I knew if I could be patient just a while longer…" Blinky sighed and closed his eyes against the vestiges of regret. "Maybe someone deserving of his love would finally see what I did."
Jamie marveled at the war between the disgusted burn in her belly and the compassionate ache in her heart. Yet, in the end, all that mattered was that her love was vulnerable, in pain, and in need of her. With a firm squeeze of his hand, the girl saddled herself closer and promised, "You never have to be alone again."
His eyes, wide and shiny following her heartfelt declaration, bore desperately into hers before a soft smile overtook his features. "Thank you," he murmured. "Thank you for accepting me—all of me—even my secrets; even my darkness…"
"I don't think there's any part of you that's dark, Blink," Jamie said sincerely, granting his cheek an adoring caress. "You are perfect to me."
Blinky chuckled wryly. "I am far from perfect," he snatched up the girl's hand in his own and planted a soft kiss upon her palm. "But I am incredibly lucky."
Jamie nuzzled contentedly into her lover's hairy chest, breathing in his scent eagerly. That she could overlook such a horrifying past, such a tumultuous present, and such an uncertain future spoke volumes of her love for the man. Suddenly, her eyes flickered open as a thought occurred to her. "Who was the other person?"
"Bagdwella," the man said simply. "I remember it just barely. I woke up in her bed after a night of heavy drinking and snuck out of her room before she saw me. She's given no indication that she remembers at all."
"Wow," Jamie blinked through the mind-numbing shock. "I bet that confession was really easy after admitting you used to fuck your sibling."
Blinky burst into laughter and tightened his hold on the girl in his arms. "Cheeky," he teased.
Jamie smirked. "I'll give you cheek…"
"Please, do."
Before she could deliver, her phone buzzed annoyingly, alerting her to an incoming call. "It's Tobes," she said, tone surprised. With a silencing motion at her partner, Jamie answered the phone. "Hey! What's-?"
The sound of wretched, heaving sobs blared through the speaker. Alarm surged through the girl as her best friend's voice emerged with a disjointed message that only intuition could piece together. "Oh, no…"
Her eyes met Blinky's, reflecting her own concern back to her. "I'm on my way."
She hung up the phone and rose to dress. "What's happened?" Blinky asked, emerging from the sheets behind her. "Is Toby alright?"
"No," Jamie stated flatly, feeling confused and overwhelmed as she slipped into her favorite white dress. "Claire just broke up with him."
Dearest Readers,
Lots of concepts I've been hinting at for a while are finally becoming clearer... Darci and Nomura's barely-acknowledged stint as trainer and pupil; Claire's struggle with Toby and how it's challenging her view of herself; Angor's torn opinion regarding the Team-how do you think it will affect future decisions?
We finally get to hit on that involuntary celibacy topic that is starting to play a role in how we view relationships and intimacy (especially during this pivotal time in history). Did the extremes to which the Galadrigals went to sate their centuries-spanning loneliness seem far-fetched? Has anyone ever met an individual in such desperate emotional isolation? How common do you think incel is nowadays?
Has anyone seen the AI Sex Dolls that are hitting the market? Do you guys think this could be a healthy outlet for individuals who are unable to meet their human needs for sex and intimacy? I, personally, fear it will have lasting effects on psychological and social health in similar ways to porn... Has there been any research done into whether these sex dolls could act as a gateway for unhealthy displays of intimacy such as physical abuse-especially regarding the child replicas? :/
Curious to know your thoughts!
To 17: Yay! Okay, I'll get right on that. ^_^ Can't wait to hear your thoughts! Love your support!
To MerendinoEmilliano: Yes, Claire IS a BAMF. She has a lot of internal struggles going on—and magic isn't coming as easily to her as it did in the show due to the difference in circumstances. She isn't filled with anger so much as fear and impatience. And her support-to-threat ratio is much higher. Don't worry. She'll shine soon enough.
As always, thank you for your loyal readership. 3
Elora Story