Trigger warning: Depression, mental break down.

I watched as Devin Weston's car burned off the cliff of Mount Chiliad.

What a shit show this entire thing had been.

Found out that my dead best friend wasn't actually dead, the one who was supposed to be, was, got back into the game, killed and robbed people to the extreme, took down all those who betrayed us.

What a mind fuck.

Reuniting with Mikey wasn't absolutely terrible but the revelation of what he had done- that felt worse than any injury I had ever sustained.

From all of this bullshit though; I found Lily.

An amazingly beautiful, bright and kind woman who had never shown another face or side of her that I wasn't familiar with.

My eyes fell onto Franklin.

Now I might have to say goodbye or in this case; I already did.

I was going to deserve whatever judgement he was going to hand down onto me. God knows that I've done terrible things.

I don't feel bad for who I am or what I've done.

Even everything that I've done to Lily.

Kidnapping her, holding her hostage, having the RIB and Weston get her back ,her losing her hearing; all of it. I feel nothing.

Not a single hint of remorse.

Everything has led to this. If Franklin doesn't take me out, then I can go back to her. Tell her how much I regret breaking up with her, that I'm still in love with her.

I could probably settle down now or at least tone back some of the shit that I do out of habit. I could do it for her if Michael doesn't take her away.

My thoughts then settled on Ron.

How would he feel if I was with Lily again? He had changed so much because of her; he was almost grossly normal and boring.

But I can't judge too harshly. The fucker probably loves er as much as I do. I had a feeling before he told me.

The way he looked at her, talked about her sometimes. He had been harsh as hell with his criticisms towards her when he got trapped in the bathroom.

But there was a point where he would make soft comments about how I should treat her nicer; his language towards her took a sudden turn.

And that made it all the more obvious and irritating.

I thought I was going to blow his brains out when he kissed her.

I wanted to punch Michael in the throat at times and at one point kill him.

But ron… I wanted to torutre for the way that he felt about her.

I've been jealous before so this wasn't something new. But for it to flare up against someone who I know isn't worth shit, and didn't have a fucking chance in hell with her- just pathetic.

The only people I need are Lily and Mikey- Frank and Lester now too but Ron, I could do without… maybe.

He was a nuisance at times but he listened to me. He gave a fuck while everyone else left me in the dirt. I dragged him from his life and made everything better for him. He is completely indebted to me, and acts like it too. He's a sad excuse for a man and a pathetic human being for as little as he has to show.

Yet, he still was able to talk to Lily and get her attention; make jokes with her, get her to be comfortable in all of this mess.

I continued to look like the bad guy while he sat back and found a way to be her friend. She protects him whenever I get rough.

And I know for a fact that she wouldn't do the same for me. She's helped me plenty of times with my mistakes, treating my wounds. Sure I have saved her life a couple of times, but that means nothing as the circumstances that I saved them under, were just a benefit to me. I feel that if she had to choose between anyone or me- Franky, Mikey, Ron, Lester- anybody- she would choose them over me.

In a heartbeat.

Knowing all of this and I'm still stupid crazy about her. I watched as Michael and Frank nodded to each other before approaching me.

"T. We need to talk." Michael began.

This is fuckin' it.

Ron and Lily woke up to someone loudly banging on the front door.

She was quick to jump off the couch, heading towards the sound before Ron grabbed her arm.

He pulled her behind him, before opening the door to reveal Michael and Franklin.

Both held exhausted expressions on their faces, frowning deeply.

Before Ron could ask any questions, he was pushed gently to the side as if he didn't exist.

"Lily, do you mind if we talk out here?" Michael inquired.

The pair shared a glance.

"Sure?"

Michael pushed the door open a bit more, squishing Ron behind it as Lily stepped out, mouthing 'sorry' to a distressed Ron.

They walked over to Franklin's car, far from where Ron could eavesdrop.

"What's up?" She asked, raising a brow to both of them as they exchanged glances.

Michael sighed loudly and began,

"Listen kid, you know Trevor is a troubled person."

"Uh- yeah. First-hand experience." She shrugged. When neither cracked a smile, the pit in her stomach began to form.

"Anyways, Trevor… Trevor is a problem… or at least he was a problem." Her heart came to a full halt in her chest.

"What?"

"Listen Lil'-" Franklin took a step closer to her.

"I know that you were very dependent on him, but we had to make a choice for all of us. He wasn't going to let any of us go."

"Was everything you said about Lily bullshit? I thought you were in love with her but then you went and broke up with her?"

"He wasn't going to let you go home. You need to get help. Trevor doesn't want someone mentally stable who is able to push him away."

"Of course it fucking wasn't! I don't say shit that I don't fucking mean! What kind of person do you take me for Mikey?"

"We were going to have to continue to play this game until one of us died or he died. Either ways, none of us would be able to move on. Get better."

"The only reason why I made that decision was because I knew we were going to do this shit. If I separated myself from her now and then died in this shitshow then maybe she'd be better off, ya know?"

"I'm still fucked up about that torturing thing. I want to see a doctor."

"So if you died right now, but our hand-"

"I don't think keeping Trevor in the picture would have been good for any of us."

"Then so be it. She'll be better off, huh?"

"But can't he just leave?" She questioned.

"Then I guess this is it… brother."

"I guess it is."

"No. He'd probably be content for a short time being on his own and then he'd want to come back. Forever, doesn't mean forever for Trevor." Michael answered.

Lily's face dropped, hanging her head in despair.

"What you're feeling is probably the dependency that you've had on him for the past few months. It'll get better with time- I promise you, this feeling isn't forever." Michael attempted to comfort her.

"He's gone." She murmured.

"Yeah girl. He's gone." Franklin held a deep frown, carved into his face at this point. The decisions that had to be made were starting to weigh heavily on his shoulders.

"Not an easy decision, but when are they ever?" Michael solemnly finished.

Lily seemed to curl in a ball where she stood, the older man moving in to hug her as she sobbed.

"Fuck." Franklin swore. "We gotta tell dip-shit over there." He furrowed his brows at Ron who was hiding behind his door with a curious and worried expression.

"That's gonna suck." Michael mumbled.

Franklin groaned loudly as he made his way over.

Ron continued to hide like a scared kitten as Franklin approached.

"Di-did Trevor get hurt again?" Ron stuttered. "Lily is really upset."

"Yeah, about that… unfortunately when we were going against Weston, he had someone flanking from the rocks on Mount Chiliad- he got T."

From Ron's expression, everything seemed to crumble.

The man who had stood by his side while he broke away from the binds of the government.

He opened his eyes to the corruption, deception and manipulation of those around him; allowing him to become a new person who was in control of their own life.

But Trevor was also a man who took things away, kept him in a tight cage so that he wouldn't even think about going back.

He was disciplined, beaten and screamed at on the daily as if he wasn't worth much but he knew that Trevor cared.

Although he would no longer be able to see his ex-wife again or work a normal job without having to see a jail cell first, he was set free from chains that he didn't know existed.

He had breathed and eaten danger, shot weapons and killed anyone who got in Trevor's way.

Franklin watched as Ron processed the information and walked back into his home, silently closing the door.

Turning back to the other pair, Michael continued to comfort Lily by gently petting her hair.

Franklin sighed loudly, moving towards them as he felt a heavy weight on his chest.

Lamar was safe; they got back at the people who betrayed them and yet this still felt like the wrong choice.

But Michael lost a brother, and Ron just lost everything.

Lily seemingly was the only person who benefited from all of this.

Weston and Haines were now unable to harass her, and the others wouldn't even have the opportunity to.

Why does this all feel wrong? Franklin thought to himself. The relief he expected was nowhere in sight and watching Lily cry was only making his insides twist even more in confusion.

Lily moved away from Michael, wiping her eyes as she turned to Franklin.

"I'm sorry Franklin." She sniffled. Raising a brow, he asked,

"Sorry for what? What's there to be sorry about?"

"That the decision was on you. This must be so hard on you." Lily covered her face again, sobbing into the sleeves of her hoody.

Franklin hesitantly patted her on the shoulder, looking over to Michael with an awkward expression. Tilting his head, Michael motioned for Franklin to do more than what he was doing.

"It's not your fault but I appreciate you thinkin' about me. At least this way, you can finally go home." He looked over to Michael for approval who simply shook his head and rolled his eyes.

Michael gently pushed Franklin to the side, leading Lily back to Ron's trailer.

"Let's get your stuff. We'll head on out and you won't have to think about any of this ever again. Get out of this mess before Ron gets the dumb idea that he can take over for T or some shit like that." Lily weakly nodded as they headed towards the door.

Upon entering, Ron was nowhere in sight. Michael jogged in, taking hold of a duffle bag.

"I should say something to Ron before we-"

"No. It's best if you don't. Leave him be and let him mourn the way that he wants."

"But-"

"No buts, let's go."

Lily followed Michael back out, getting into his car and watched as Ron's trailer grew smaller and smaller as they drove away.

Four years and two months had passed since I last saw Ron.

Michael, Franklin and I parted ways, after two months of staying with Michael, as they put me on a plane back to my family who welcomed me with open arms.

The first year of rehabilitation had left me in a chaotic state. My nightmares reminded me of Trevor and Floyd. The torture was always running through my mind and my ears were a daily reminder that everything wasn't a dream.

It was awful thinking that if I had never met Trevor, I would almost be ready to graduate from undergrad, preparing to enter medical or graduate school if I didn't change my idea again.

By the middle of the second year, I was starting to make decisions of what I wanted to do. Becoming a doctor was almost out of the question; and going back to being a police officer or firefighter were completely off the table.

And by the end of the second year, going into the third, I had decided to go into social work and victims advocacy.

I went to a short training school, got certifications and started working to help others.

And it wasn't until the end of the third year, did Los Santos and Sandy Shores finally cross my mind again.

The lack of a goodbye from Ron had plagued my mind every now and then.

Voices from coworkers, friends and family told me not to get in contact. Not to think about or do anything.

Four years and two months, and I caved.

There was a part of me that wanted to know if he was okay. If he was even alive.

I clutched my cell phone tightly, murmuring Lester's phone number as I typed it in.

Staring down at the screen, I grit my teeth.

Lester is neutral. And I think we're friends? He would definitely be able to tell me anything that I'd want to know… maybe.

I groaned, quickly pressing the call button.

My leg began to bounce as I heard someone on the other side answer.

"Hello? Who is this? Why do you have this number?"

"Lester?" There was a long pause before a sigh.

"Lily? What are you doing calling me? Shouldn't you be getting ready for…" He held onto the last word.

"Your victims advocacy and social work training?"

"I'm just going in for my certificate. I've got time."

"I guess. Anyways, anyways, why are you calling me? How did you get this number?"

"Ah, well I just kind of having it floating around in my head. But I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh?"

"I wanted to see how all of you were. Check in."

"Well-" His voice cracked. "Everyone's doing okay. I guess. Franklin and Michael still hang out from time to time. Amanda and the kids are good- Tracy got into college. I've been uh- doin' some side work. Still kind of in the game. Not much else to say I guess… how are you?"

"I'm doing better. Thanks for asking." I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"How's Ron?"

The silence was beginning to make me feel uneasy.

"Let me- check." Lester replied in a nervous tone. The sound of typing made my knee bounce faster.

"Seems he's been working here and there but not much else. He put his resume out and I'm guessing is trying to get some normie job. Not much else to say. He seems to be back on the grid, got a place in Los Santos… fairly close to me."

"Oh, you guys are neighbors?"

"Sure…"

"You don't sound confident about that."

"Well-"

"Is he like a block away or something?"

"Something like that." I raised a brow.

"-anyways, congrats on your certificate. I see you also finished your social work training."

"Thanks. I'll be getting that certificate later today."

"I see that."

"Not much for surprises are you?"

"Nope."

"Good to know."

"I am going to let you go. I- uh- got things to do."

"Okay, well thanks for telling me all of this stuff."

"Yeah of course. And… let me know if you ever need anything. Trevor owes you more than he could have ever paid you back, so I'll stand in his place because we worked closely together."

"Thank you Lester. I really appreciate that." Lester hung up first before I got the chance.

I returned the phone to my lap, staring down at it, as the phone's screen shut off.

Not the closure I wanted, but it was what I was going to have to accept.

I exhaled deeply before standing up to prepare for the day.

I slowly exited the building, walking down the few steps that led down to the sidewalk before hearing my name.

I turned my head to see Ron, shaking like a leaf with a bouquet of flowers.

"He-He-Hey Li-Li-Li-Lily." I raised a brow as he tripped over his own feet on his way to me.

"Fuck! Stupid feet!" He barked as he fell to the ground.

I burst out laughing, watching him continue to be flustered, scrambling to his feet before he held out the flowers.

"Here are your stupid flowers. Congrats on your certification."

I reached out, still laughing and taking hold of the flowers.

"Thanks. I can see you're doing well."

"Whatever."

"What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be looking for some normal ass job in Los Santos?"

"I see Lester has a big mouth. I wanted to surprise you that I moved out of my trailer."

"Mazel tov."

"And I moved in with Lester." I choked.

"Mazel tov?"

"I don't know either. He doesn't know half of the conspiracies that I do but he has all of the technology for me to ensure that the government doesn't have me under a microscope."

"You poor paranoid man. It's a wonder that you haven't gone crazy yet."

"From what?"

"Ah, I can't say. It'll make you more paranoid."

"That makes me more- You're doing this on purpose! I came to see you and here you are being rude to me!"

"I appreciate it immensely! And I thanked you! Don't know why you're getting worked up!"

"It- You! You're making me paranoid!"

"I am not! I'm just sayin-"

"No, you-"

Michael appeared out of nowhere, giving him a hard smack on the back of the head.

"Ow, fuck!"

"You need to be fucking nice. She just graduated." Michael puffed out his chest like a proud mama bird.

"Congratulations kid!" He grinned widely. "Amanda would've been here if Jimmy wasn't moving out of state for a technical school. But I'm here!"

He held his arms wide open as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"And I had to bring dip-shit here." I felt him motion his head back to Ron.

As Michael stepped away, he held the grin on his face.

"Lester and Franklin couldn't make it cause they got busy last minute so I got tasked with babysitting this guy."

"Aww, how kind! Bringing this paranoid baby all the way over here! He must have been a handful." I smirked as from behind Michael, Ron flipped me off.

"Eh, well, Davey said that he was good to travel just as long as he stayed close to me. But I'll give you two some space. I'm sure the two of you wanna catch up."

"Yeah, that would be nice."

Michael turned to Ron.

"I'll be in the car whenever you're ready to go."

Ron and I stood somewhat awkwardly as he scratched his arm.

"So… how have you been?" He inquired.

"I've been alright. How have you been?"

"As good as I can be." He motioned to the steps; both of us taking a seat on them as I stated,

"Yeah, we never really got to say good-bye to each other. That always felt a little wrong- in my opinion. I felt… I feel that if we had time to mourn and grieve with each other maybe things would've turned out a bit better. I really struggled to get back on my feet."

"Lester said that this is your second and third certification in this field."

"They are. I wanted to take more classes and go in again to gain more experience to help others and expand my demographic range."

"You're doing better than what I am."

"I don't think so. Maybe you would have done better if we would have had that time."

"Well, you didn't have to think about me at all. You're finally living your own life. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Hell yeah. Fuck all that bullshit in San Andreas, but I also wanted you to live your own life. You and I are kind of the same."

"We are not-"

"Trevor was manipulative to the end."

"He was my best friend!"

"I see even now you haven't changed much."

Ron paused.

I watched his eyes shift across the pavement before returning to mine.

"I've been trying. It's been harder than I thought it would be. Moving back to LS and all that was hard. I didn't know what to do or where to go. Lester taking me in was… well that has its ups and downs. Do-don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful but… maybe you are right. If you were there, maybe all of this would be much easier. It would have been much easier."

Ron turned away from me.

"Maybe if you were there to hold my hand, it wouldn't have turned out like this."

Ron began to fumble with his hands, unsure what to do with them.

"Maybe this is late- who cares. I told Trevor this and I'm going to tell you, but I- I came to see you for a reason Lily. I'm not sure if anyone is with me or against me in this whole thing- I don't even know where you work or if you are working somewhere- I mean, you could always transfer and start working a little closer- if you want to-"

"Ron, I no longer am following the conversation. I am completely lost because you keep starting and stopping in the middle of your thoughts." I laughed.

He turned bright red before looking down to the pavement.

"I-I-I-I was just thinking th-th-that we've been through a lot together. And we've known each o-oth-other for a while now-"

"JUST FUCKING TELL HER!" Michael barked from the car.

"I'M GETTING TO IT!" Ron shouted back.

I covered my mouth, attempting not to laugh. A huge grin was practically carved into my face as he turned around in a huff.

"Can you fucking believe that guy? Fuck."

"Ron, focus." I gave a short laugh. "What did you want to say?"

He cleared his throat, restarting his sentence.

"I know this might seem like a rather large request, but I was hoping you could come back to Los Santos with me. I know it might be difficult at first but I think if we're together then maybe it won't be so hard down the line."

Taken aback, I relaxed my shoulders.

"I couldn't say this before because of Trevor, but I love you just like he did. I can't say as to whether or not it's more or less, and I know it's probably super late, but I still wanted to tell you that. My feelings for you- I know I didn't understand them until after you left- but they are real! I'm not just pulling your leg or something! I- I really do love you." He mumbled the last bit, looking down at the pavement again.

"And I want you to come back to LS with me. I-i-i-i-if that's okay! I don't want to get in the way of any plans that you might have."

Now it was my turn to look down at the pavement.

"I mean… it's not like I have a gun to your head or anything…" Ron joked. "But if it'll help you make a decision-"

"Oh, no guns needed here." I laughed.

We exchanged a glance before we heard a car door slam shut.

"Listen kid- this guy is a fucking idiot-" Michael waved him off before he could retort anything. "-but we are hoping you can come back."

"We?" I questioned.

"Yeah, we. Ron, me, Franklin, Lester, my entire family. We want you to come back to Los Santos. I'm sure there are plenty of jobs in your field over there. Plenty of troubled and fucked up people. Hell, I'd be willing to help you move. My new psychiatrist said that we ended things wrong and I needed to go back and fix things up. Maybe this isn't the perfect way of going about this, but hear me out, we can take care of you. Get you the closure that we all need."

"So-some of us are still having problems over the whole thing and someone recommended group therapy so that way we can air any grievances that we have." Ron added.

I nodded thoughtfully. Four years and I'm clearly not over it as I had just called Lester that day.

"Well, I could see about putting a transfer into my current job, move on over. I wouldn't be completely against it, just as long as my job will move there with me."

"Re-really?" Ron's face brightened up.

"Yeah, of course! It'll be good to see everyone again and I get to be there with you."

"Yeah." Ron's face slightly fell, having registered what I said.

"Alright! Then let's see about you getting that transfer! Oh this is gonna be great! I'm a movie producer now by the way!" Michael puffed out his chest again, excitement in his voice.

"I saw! It was a good movie!"

"I know right?!"

"I thought it was pretty terrible." Ron mumbled.

"Shut the fuck up." Michael and I stated together.

I watched as Ron and Michael began to argue.

Maybe I'm being a bit hasty in going back as soon as the opportunity is being offered, but I know that whatever happens in L.S, it'll be for the best.

Good luck to me.

Hey all!

I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I did writing! It's been a journey for me!

I hope to write more stuff soon if I can get any ideas!

-DaedraWarrior