A/N ((Enjoy! More to come I promise. I own nothing. Chapter includes swearing, sexual situations.))
Ch.26
Cara felt the room tilt at his bold declaration, her lips sill tingling from his kiss.
Her first kiss, and he'd stolen it from her. Wait, where had that come from? Wasn't this exactly what she'd always wanted?
"What the hell are you talking about?" She snapped before balking at her own words. Heat stinging her cheeks with embarrassment. She shouldn't have snapped at Alexander that way, given the tension the Club was dealing with he didn't deserve it. Doing her best not to squirm under his scrutiny Cara tried to quell the panic fluttering in her belly. She had always considered Alexander to be out of her league. It felt vastly unfair that he could act so cool and even tempered when all it took was a few words and a kiss to knock her on her ass. By societal standards he was not a good man. He did what even most of the patched members weren't willing to and he did it all with a smile on his face. Most women wouldn't have been so comfortable around men like him, like her brother and father but it was all she knew and she didn't feel an ounce of regret. Despite their rough exteriors they were at their core good men. There wasn't anything they wouldn't do for her. She was their princess, she belonged to the Club. Monsters and Outlaws were her guardians and looking at the man who had her caged in with his strong arms she knew he was both of these things. Drawing his thumb nail along the soft curve of her jaw his eyes narrowed as he exhaled a breath slow and steady as if he were amused and bored all at the same time.
"Jesus Christ, language Cara Grace." He said deep and raspy, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Jesus Christ was right, he was laughing at her, he thought this whole thing was just so funny. Well it didn't feel funny to her. Pressing her lips into a thin line she willed herself to be calm but all she felt was frustration. Cocking his head to the side he said The Club was nothing if not a 'boys' club and it often felt as if no one here ever took her seriously and it was beginning to wear her patience thin. They all saw her as Abel's sweet baby sister, and Jax Tellers obedient daughter. That was her identity. That was who she was. Only lately she had wanted them to look as her the way they did her mother. As long as she could remember when Lily Teller entered a room, people stopped to watch her and it wasn't with amusement in their eyes but with respect and admiration. The same people who sought her fathers council were not unheard of to seek hers in equal measure. She tried to imagine in her minds eye anyone seeing her in the same light and found the visualization lacking in imagination. She may have been made in her mothers image but that's were the similarities began to end. Cara had immense respect for her mother and knew her strength had come at an unimaginable cost and yet she still found herself hopelessly envious. Could Alexander ever look at her with such admiration and mutual respect? At the moment he was looking at her as if he were waiting for a punchline to a joke it made her want to smack his smug face. Cocking his head to the side he dug his proverbial hole deeper, "Aw come on now, that's all you got to say to me?"
There it was again, the sudden indignation she felt towards him, a part of her blistering at his reprimand. He'd always seemed to know just how to disarm her and he did it now with no effort at all. He'd been gone for years and for him to have the gall to just walk in her and act as if he could lay claim to her? The nerve of this man had her head swimming and before she could stop herself she was looking up at him, chin jutting out in defiance. "Abel's not here right now, and your dad's looking for you." She stammered, her cheek reddening she felt the next words bubbling to surface and she begged herself not to speak them but like always Cara couldn't control her temper when it came to Alex and so she blurted. "You missed my party." There. There it was, she'd said it and Cara could feel the embarrassment prickle along her skin, her throat becoming tight again. Thomas was right, she was a spoiled girl who cared so much what others thought of her. Here Alexander was, fresh from prison and she was upset he hadn't come to a ridiculous party. He'd missed her last few birthdays, what was one more. Unbeknownst to her Alexander was experience some some uncomfortable emotions of his own.
Regret. He was feeling the pang of something he rarely allowed himself to feel. Where had he been while the party was happening? Not with Cara, and not with his brothers. It had seemed so innocent at the time but now that he thought back he wasn't so sure that was true. He could still remember staring down at Audrey, her skinned palms held tenderly in his own as he had thought of nothing more than pressing a kiss to her wounds. Her humility and grief so evident in her tear stained face he'd known given enough time he would have done anything to ease the suffering. He was still perplexed by his feelings of that night, of how he hadn't recognized her at first, of how he had mistaken her for for a ghost. For someone he could never have, never hold and never love again. That same feeling of unfamiliar guilt tugged at his chest as he recalled the way he'd kept his hand on her calf as he'd driven her home. The way her small hands had felt pressed against his abdomen, their warmth through the cotton of his t-shirt. Even worse was the longing he'd felt inside that house, the rare inklings of peace that had filled him as they sat together in the darkness with nothing but the silence and the moonlight between them. Comfortable. He'd always felt comfortable around Audrey. Unlike some of the others she'd always understood his affection for her home, it was familiar to him, a childhood haunt. She never judged him. Even now he tried to deny then how easily he could have taken her into his arms, and the knowledge made his heart twist. This was a dangerous line he was walking, one he couldn't afford to cross and yet he'd insisted on toeing the line for years now. He'd been keeping more than one secret from his family. He needed to remind himself he was merely confused and that it was time to get himself in line. There was nothing to feel guilty about because he knew his place, he knew his future and that future stood in his arms right now even if she was bruising his ego. He would not falter from the path his President had set for him. He would not fail. He couldn't.
Despite everything, Alexander couldn't quite curb his own flustered temper.
"I'm sorry I missed the pony rides and cupcakes Princess but I had Club business." He said sneering down at her.
Flinching at if he'd slapped her, Cara pressed her palms flat against his chest and gave his body a weak shove. "Fuck. You. I'm twenty one, not ten."
Jaw ticking, Alexander he pressed her closer to the edge of the counter. Belt buckle pressing into her stomach so she could feel the cool metal through the thin fabric of her shirt. That same thumb that had been tracing her jaw suddenly stopped and she gasped as he pressed it against her lower lip and then her teeth gently forcing her jaw open and the pad of his thumb touched her warm tongue. Involuntarily her lips closed around his thumb, her tongue tasting him. She could taste a hint of salt on his skin, the silver ring on his thumb warm against her lips. Watching the slow lazy smile play on his own lips, Cara was suddenly overcome with humiliation. Shame flooding her. What the hell was she doing?! Jerking her head back she inwardly groaned at the loud pop her mouth made when she shoved his hand away. Covering her mouth with her palm she tried and failed to look anywhere but at the man in front of her.
"Tell me to fuck off again Cara and I'll take you over my knee. You want me to treat you like a woman Princess than act like one."
Heart hammering in her chest, Cara couldn't hide the shock and awe on her face. He couldn't be serious could he? Nervously her eyes scanned the kitchen and despite the fact they were uncharacteristically alone at the moment it didn't mean jack shit. Any second someone like her father for instance could come waltzing through the back door. Biting her lower lip hard enough to draw blood, she felt herself shaking her head in denial.
"You wouldn't dare..."
That smile only grew as he raised a brow. "Sure about that? It wouldn't take me ten seconds to haul you over my knee and blister that backside red with my palm..."
A rush of desire and shame twisted inside her again and Cara pushed helplessly against his chest. He didn't even budge an inch.
"You can't talk to me like that Alexander..."
His laughter shook his shoulders as he leaned in his mouth hot against the shell of her ear causing her to squirm. Her body was a traitor, it liked what he'd said and a small part of her hated herself for it.
"Why not Cara, afraid you'll like it?"
Christ, this man was impossible.
She'd pined for him since before she'd even understood what that meant, long before it was appropriate. To many years had she day dreamed about this very moment that now in the glaring light of day as it was unfolding in front of her did she question the validity of it all. It was one thing to imagine it, and another to finally be experiencing it. There was nothing simple about their relationship or lack thereof. Overwhelmed with the prospects of what his words meant she had to remind herself that despite that she had known Alexander her entire life, he was first and foremost her brothers best friend and next to his own father, the Clubs top enforcer. He was one of her fathers most loyal soldiers and it was no secret that for Alexander there was no higher power than the Club. Catholics worshiped God but Alexander worshipped at the altar of the Son's, and her fathers word was Gospel. When the day came that Jax stepped down, that mantle would be passed down to her eldest brother Abel and it would be a new generation leading the Club.
Given everything that was happening right now, and not knowing what tomorrow would bring she wondered if now was the appropriate time for this to be happening. Cara knew she lived a charmed life and been kept in a gilded cage. In many peoples opinions she was hopelessly sheltered. Spoiled. Despite her own longing, this was no easy thing to suddenly submit to Alexanders advances. She wasn't what anyone would call an expert in the art of seduction, having only been allowed out in public with chaperons of her fathers choosing and nay a single boyfriend to her name it wasn't exactly giving her a confidence boost and due to the lovesick nature of her infatuation perhaps it had made her jaded to the truth of him. Four years was a long time to be apart from someone in a typical situation but even Cara understood there was nothing typical about any of this. She wondered again if this was what she wanted. What if Thomas was right and this was some horrible mistake? She wasn't sure she could stomach him being right about something that had once seemed like a dream. No matter how good it all appeared the possibility of having her heart broken and her body used were incredibly high. How many times had Thomas chastised her in the past, accused her of living in a fairytale? Even now she could see his lip curling up in disdain at Alexanders advances, at his gleaming promises. He would hold him in nothing but contempt and distrust, he would love nothing more right now than to explain to Cara what a silly, foolish girl she was.
Thomas had sneered at her, 'He and Abel spend their free time fucking whores from the porn studio, don't think for one second he actually likes you Cara...What do you think it going to happen, huh? Do you think he's going to sweep you off your feet like some fucking romance movie, that he'll fall in love with you? Grow the fuck up Cara Grace, he only pays attention to you because Dad tells him to and Abel is his...friend. That's it. End of story. He will say whatever he thinks will get him in your pants, he will fuck you and leave you. I'm not trying to hurt you Cara but someone needs to tell you the truth for once in your life instead of the way Dad fills your head with this fairytale bullshit. There is something psychologically wrong with Alexander. I've seen his room at the Clubhouse...the fucking shrine he has to Tessa Bunker is positively unreal. It's sick. He worships at the altar of a dead woman and here you are practically doodling Mrs. Cara Lowman in your notebook. Fucking Christ. One of these days I'm going to have to do something serious to knock some sense in to that head of yours. Make you see what's in front of you. I don't think I can expect Dad to do the right thing for you...That old man is fucking blind.
Her brother had always hated Alexander for one thing or another. She's always chalked it up to jealousy, he and Abel has always been attached at the hip, they'd always bonded on a level Thomas never could. Due to his intolerable attitude towards Alex she'd shut herself off to his opinions but this memory had never quite left her. Was he right? Was the reality of Alex Lowman nothing compared to the fantasy she'd built in her mind? The idea that Thomas in all his self righteous hatred could be right made her stomach twist painfully. She would never hear the end of it.
Unconsciously she licked her lips her breath quickening as he snaked a warm palm to cup the back of her neck, his grip echoing what she thought felt like a possessive longing. The faintest squeeze of his palm caused her to close her eyes, a flush of heat curling inside her belly. Beyond the soft hum of the oven, and the occasional thump of movement upstairs, the cabin was otherwise quiet and Cara found her hands edging along warm cotton clad expanse of his chest. With trembling fingers she traced the peeking lines of ink just along the collar of his shirt her embarrassment and anger momentarily forgotten. It was easy, to easy to forget who she was standing with. To forget what he was capable of doing to her with or without her permission. Despite all of this a calming sense of familiarity touched her senses as she caught the scent of his cologne again. The woodsy undertones mingling with pine and leather. Having to crane her head back to look up, Cara's eyes finally fluttered closed as Alexanders palm slid up further. His long fingers combing through her hair and gripping it with a gently. Just enough to tease, just enough to get her heart racing again. Innocent and untouched, she was achingly sweet in his arms as she was helpless against his simple touches. "You don't ever have to be ashamed Cara...you're a grown woman now and its okay to want pleasure. To feel good."
Easier said than done. This had always been against the rules. Aside from Quinn or Abel, she was not allowed to be alone with a man and yet here she was alone with Alexander, his gaze warm with desire, with longing only a man could show a woman. Inhaling through her nose she steadied her voice needing to speak her peace before he overpowered all of her common sense. "Why did you refuse to see me at the prison...No one even knew I was there and...and when the guard handed me the envelope filled with all my letters and told me I wasn't on the visitation list I was humiliated Alex. I couldn't take it if this is just you playing some cruel game." His grip on her hair tightened with a subtle tug effectively cutting off her words as she let out a soft whimper. Tilting her head to look up at him, his expression had darkened. If she'd expected an apology from him for before the look in his eyes now said that certainly wasn't happening. "The fuck did you expect?" Clearing his throat he licked his upper lip his frustration obvious. "I was looking at ten years in prison. What kind of man would I have been to sit on the other side of that metal table and promise you lies? I know there's been expectations but I respect your father to much as my President to pull shit like that. I did you a favor sending you away, if one of those guards was on the take with another anyone else other than us you might not have made it home Cara. Do you fucking understand that, if someone fucking took you..." Chest heaving, Cara felt her throat grow tight. Hot tears pricking at her eyes blurring her vision. As much as she hated what he was saying she hated it more because it was true. With his free hand, Alex wiped a stray tear with the pad of his thumb hating to see her sad and yet he couldn't understand why she was upset with him. He was telling the truth, she'd been reckless and foolish. Why couldn't she understand this? "Everything we do is for your own good Cara. Why are you so hung up on this."
Scoffing at his remark, she shook her head biting the inside of her cheek Thomas's words nagging at her still. Resisting the urge to look away from him she forced the words out, "When I got home from the prison that day, Thomas was home visiting. He lost his shit, told me how that I was throwing myself at you like some lovesick teenager. He actually laughed at me, told me I was stupid to think you could ever have feelings for me, and that at best you were only you humoring my dad. Your loyalty to the Club was the only reason you could stomach showing me attention." Alexander felt anger fill his whole body and he let out a low growl. He was losing patience with Thomas Teller by the hour. He was playing a dangerous game and it was unfair to trap his sister in between them all because of his own deeply rooted insecurities. On one hand he felt pity for Cara, she was an easy target for Thomas and his hatred. He hadn't given much weight to his temper tantrums over the years but now he worried he hadn't paid enough attention. Thomas thought he understood something that he didn't. He thought he had Alex and his brother figured out. He was fucking wrong. Well...almost. It wasn't quite black and white when Alexander really broke it down. It was instead rather shades of grey. With that insight in mind, Alexander suddenly wondered if this wasn't just information Cara was unknowingly revealing but rather the root cause of Thomas's current behavior. The past influencing the present as it were. Now that would be something wouldn't it? He couldn't solve this problem with a bullet, he couldn't bury it in an unmarked grave in the hills. No. This was more complicated than that. It raised questions with his Club that he wasn't ready to answer nor did he think Abel would appreciate being hindered with.
Taking her face in his hands, Alexander doubled down his efforts to convince the woman in front of him that this was real and pressed his mouth to hers kissing her with a possessive force that filled her lower belly with warmth and lust. Thumb stroking her cheek he held the kiss until he thought his own lungs would burst. Breaking apart, he looked down at her, at this sweet girl. Gorgeous eyes hooded with fresh desire, her cheeks flushed pink as he looked at all the good and innocence she possessed and he wanted nothing more than want to bask in her warmth to erase the memory of all those cruel words. "Listen to me, Cara. Your brother is the last person who speaks for me and I will have words with him but right now I have other things that need my attention." Pausing Alexander sighed, the energy between them cooling. Pulling back he tried to soften his expression. "I have business to attend to but at some point I'd like it very much like to spend time with you. Your right, what you said before. I missed your party and I'm sorry I'll make it up to you." Head spinning with the possibilities of what that could entail Cara swallowed thickly her voice painfully hopeful. "What about my Dad? He'd be alright with us dating?" The aggravation that had furrowed his brows earlier softened. Had no one explained to Cara what would happen? Had her mother not spoken to her yet? With a sigh he said, "We wouldn't be dating Cara." and Cara felt a strange rush of disappointment hit her, confusion clear on her face she bit her lower lip. "We wouldn't? But you just kissed me." Smoothing his hand he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Swallowing thickly, Alexander fought to tamp down his inner guilt and instead he said the worst thing he could. "If a kiss is all it took Cara, Id be dating a lot of girls." Jaw ticking, he felt himself clench his jaw hard enough to break bone. He was fucking this up, badly. It was falling apart faster than he could tape it together. What the fuck was wrong with him? Sighing again, he struggled to salvage it, the hurt evident on her face he watched as she began to wither in front of him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm fucking this all up...Your parents didn't explain any of this? Listen you wouldn't just be my girlfriend Cara, its not that simple. It'd be something more permanent. You'd be my Old Lady, we'd be getting married. Its what your father wants." He added completely unware of the implications of his words.
Cara stiffened. Because Dad tells him to...
The warmth she'd felt in her heart was fading so quickly she questioned whether it had ever been in real at all.
(( song- Waves by Dean Lewis. Acoustic version.))
Seeing her expression fall, Alexander cursed himself again a dull ache beginning to grow behind his eyes. A headache had been brewing since he'd come home and no amount of painkillers had banished it completely. He'd chalked it up to acclimating back to the real world. He prayed it didn't grow worse, this was the last thing he needed right now. Struggling to find the words something behind Cara caught his attention, his gaze focusing on something in the kitchen window behind her. The afternoon sun created a perfect reflection of the room behind them and for a split second he could see her standing in the doorway. Crown of antlers and flowers atop her head he could even see the faint colors of the pink and white flowers, the dark auburn curls cascading down her along her bare shoulders and Alexander felt the air leave his lungs. His vision tunneled and that dull ache behind his eyes pulsed. Cara's own brows furrowed together her lips pressing into a thin hard line. Twisting in his arms she looked over her shoulder but saw no one outside the window. What the hell was Alex looking at like that? Studying his face she noticed he looked paler, his breath quickening. Desperate to put some kind of distance between them and to her relief he moved without much effort his eyes drawn over her shoulder and out the window.
Distantly he was aware that Cara was speaking to him but she sounded as if she were miles away instead of in front of him.
For a second Alexander hesitated, he knew if he turned around she would disappear and yet he felt his body turning anyway. Turning his back to Cara, he was fully prepared to find the doorway empty of the ghostly specter but instead he was met with a very real woman. In fact it was the last woman he wanted to see right now. Audrey. Warm, it was suddenly very warm inside the kitchen and Alexander grimaced, the pain inside his head growing as he felt his chest grow tight. Jesus it was getting hot in here. Ignoring the urge to rub his chest with his hand he ate up the distance between them in a few quick steps. Audrey's own expression changed subtly, soft confusion to utter bewilderment marring her sweet face. Concerned by his behavior, Audrey put one hand on his shoulder and the other reached up to cup the side of his face as she tried to get him to make eye contact. She could tell by the way he was breathing shallow, the sweat along his brow that something wasn't right. "Alex...Hey, you don't look good." Aware that they weren't alone she lowered her voice to a whisper. "Are you okay? Is it another a panic attack?" Looking beyond Audrey he could only see the dark hallway but something in his gut told him the darkness was not empty and this had him stepping closer to Audrey, desperate to keep her from it. Calloused hands taking Audrey's smaller ones in his he pulled her further into the kitchen and unknowingly closer to him. Amber eyes widening in surprise, she gave a small yip and found herself looking frantically between her pair of friends. It was obvious she had interrupted something private, something intimate between them and she cursed her carelessness. She'd allowed her concern, her feelings for her friend to cloud her better judgement. Cara's cheeks were damp with tears and her pink lips were puffy and by the curious tilt of her head was quickly drawing conclusions that may have dire consequences for them all.
Before Audrey could begin to try and explain herself she heard Alex whisper something low. "Stay away from her, I won't let her go with you-" He began and his face contorted in what Audrey could only describe as anguish and her heart hurt for him. He was looking over her shoulder at something, at someone she couldn't see. Her attention tugged towards her best friend and that was when Audrey realized their close proximity and she tried to pull her hands from his. Unaware of implications of Alexander only held on tighter leaning in closer as he stared down at her. "Where the fuck have you been, you shouldn't be wandering around here alone, its not safe." He reprimanded and Audrey's confusion only grew. "Alex I-I just got back from outside don't you remember? I was going to check on your grandpa and then I went upstairs to put away my cleaning supplies...Alex you need to calm down...you don't look good." Frowning deeply at her words he turned her palms in his hands, fingers touching the healing scrapes that were covered in fresh bandages tensing up at the sight. "Who told you to clean the cabin?" He snapped, "You shouldn't have to clean houses anymore. God Damn I sent the money every month so you wouldn't have to do this anymore. I knew when I saw your house that sorry Son of Bitch drank away that money." He said crossly and if that wasn't shocking enough his next move made her whole body turn rigid with shock. He brought her right hand upwards and gently kissed her bandaged palm and froze in horror. Gaze locked on the floor, he felt the tension in the room grow until it was nearly suffocating. The rush of blood in his ears was a deafening roar and Alexander slowly released her hand, his jaw ticking as he bit the inside of his cheek his mouth, the sharp coppery tang of blood on his tongue.
Fuck. Oh fuck.
The pulsating pain behind his eyes began to lessen, the roar becoming dimmer but it was to late.
Nobody moved.
What. Had. He. Just. Done.
"What the fuck is going on Alex!." Cara said, her voice cracking.
Looking up slowly at Audrey, Alexander heard himself speak but it sounded hollow his voice barely above a whisper. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
He clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides knuckles blanching white as his eyes took in the look of pure horror on Audrey's face. As if she knew without being told what this could mean. Audrey had barely dared to draw a breath as she watched him mouth the words to her knowing Cara could not see his face. I'm sorry. Tears were spilling freely down her cheeks now Cara looked between the two of them her mind trying to explain what she was seeing and before she could make any sort of demands Alexander was rushing past Audrey without a second glance as he tore up the stairs to the second floor. Eyes trained to the ceiling they listened as a door opened and slammed shut, there was a brief moment of silence when there was a shout and the sound of furniture being thrown. Flinching at the sound of wood splintering apart, the pair of woman found themselves staring at one another and for the first time in all their lives, neither recognized the other.
The sound of breaking glass caused Audrey to jump with a start and she felt her stomach drop as she fought the urge to follow him. Everything inside her said to run to him, to make sure he was okay but she feared what would happen if she did. Alexander had had episodes in the past but nothing like this and never in front of anyone else. While he'd come close in the past he'd never behaved this way and it broke her heart to imagine his turmoil. Licking her lips, she forced herself to look at her friend. "Cara, I don't know what just happened...I swear to God." She desperately waited for Cara to answer but the other woman only stared at the ceiling as the furniture continued to snap and crack. "What was he talking about Audrey? What money? What was wrong with him, he was fine five minutes ago and then he got pale and it was like I wasn't even here." Audrey chewed on her thumb nail nervously. Alex was a private man, he didn't want anyone else knowing his business but she feared if she wasn't forthcoming it would mean more trouble for the man later down the road. "Alex sometimes has panic attacks. He's embarrassed Cara he doesn't want anyone to know but he's never had one like this...this was something else." As for the mention of money she felt sick at what Alex had implicated himself in. Had he really been sending her money? If so why hadn't her father given it to her?
You know why.
The small voice inside her said and she immediately tried to silence it. Crossing her arms over her chest.
Across from her Cara swept her long hair over one shoulder, "Is there something going on between the two of you, you left my party so early..." A lump of emotion began to lodge in her throat and Audrey was quick to answer. "No, NO Cara. Nothing is going on between us. I already told you why I left the party early. Abel caught me so he sent me home, Alexander had just gotten to the Club he was getting his grandpa's Harley from the garage. That's all it was Cara, I swear to you nothing happened..." She stopped midsentence as Cara held up both hands. "Wait, wait, wait. He was getting Tig's Harley? He was leaving?" Her mouth opened to a shocked 'O' and she covered her mouth with her hand her surprise fading in to a discouraged expression. "Oh my...He was never coming to my party in the first place," She said, leaning back against the sink as if suddenly everything made sense, "He would have thought you were at home alone Audrey...He was never coming to my party he was coming to see you." Immediately Audrey began to argue but the words jumbled inside her throat. Even as she shook her head she couldn't completely deny her friends logic. At the time she hadn't thought anything of it but now that she thought back on it Alex was only there to retrieve the motorcycle. He hadn't even tried to go inside to see anyone. Not his parents, not his best friend.
At this point that night felt as though it happened to someone else, the hours melting into one another. Surely it hadn't meant anything. So used to being overlooked as nothing more than Kurt Bunkers quiet daughter she had to admit that old habits died hard. She spent so much time keeping out of sight she couldn't say for certain. Not really. Oh God, oh no...he couldn't be. Could he? Alexander had always been protective but she'd never imagined, never dreamed that he could be harboring feelings anything other than brotherly. Replaying all of his strange ramblings, his behavior over the last forty eight hours and Audrey closed her eyes a realization settled over her and she had to grab the edge of the nearest counter for balance.
Her father knew, he'd known all along. Kurt must have come to this conclusion shortly before Alexander was arrested. After all that was when his attitude towards the Club had begun to become unbearable in the months leading up to his sentencing. He'd forbidden her from cleaning the Lowman's home, the Tattoo shop, as well as the Clubhouse, and the Tellers home. She'd always thought it was because those were all Abel's usual haunts but now she realized it was because they were all Alexanders too. It wasn't just Abel he hated, that he feared. No. Kurt Bunker had seen what no one else had and he'd done everything in his power to stop it. All their lives Abel and Alexander had been bound by loyalty. One never without the other and even though they weren't Brothers in blood they were bound all the same. Alexander was Abel's constant shadow, his right hand man and you couldn't have one man without the other. Her heart clenched painfully, hot tears pricking her eyes.
Struggling to find the words, Audrey felt her mouth open and close like a fish out of water. "Cara I'm so sorry, I know how much you liked him...I promise I didn't know. I had no idea."
To her great surprise, Cara sniffed loudly waving her apology away with her hand. "Don't worry about it Audrey. Believe me I'm disappointed but not for the reason you might think...I'm more angry at myself than you or Alex." A bitter laugh bubbled up and she shook her head softly. "I can't believe he was right...I fucking hate that he was right."
Raising a brow Audrey didn't have to ask for her friend to explain. "Thomas...he hates Alex the same way he needs to breathe to live. He'll throw himself a damn parade when he hears Alex only made a move on me to make Daddy happy, that his Club means so much to him he would have agreed to a loveless marriage just to please him. Jesus Christ, I need a drink." She said, turning around to open a cabinet over the stove. Pulling down a bottle of Tito's vodka she didn't bother with a glass and just took a short pull from the bottle. Grimacing against the bitter taste she cleared her throat.
Cara glanced from the ceiling as another string of muffled curses rang out from upstairs. "...Does my brother know?"
A new and terrible fear took root in her stomach. "Oh fuck, no. No. Abel doesn't know. What am I gonna do Cara he just made things official."
At this Cara simply held the bottle of vodka out to her friend and Audrey took it begrudgingly. The pull of vodka burned her throat and she fought not to cough. She wasn't normally a daytime drinker but given the turn of events she figured now was a good a time as any.
"Listen," Cara began softly, running a hand through her hair. "According to Thomas they've shared girls from the studio so maybe he won't be mad. I mean I'll give you the preview, Alex is a damn good kisser and that was him pretending, I can only imagine how good it is when it's with who he actually wants."
Audrey felt her face turn a bright shade of tomato red, heat blistering her cheeks at the mental image. "Cara Grace you watch your mouth!" She admonished and she was rewarded by snickering from her best friend. Grabbing a towel off the counter, Cara ran it under the cold faucet and took care to wipe her face. "It's not the worst idea is all I'm saying, stranger things have happened. As long as your all happy who cares." She added, dabbing her face with the towel, "Don't feel pressured to return Alex's feelings, its not betraying Abel's trust to care but just don't hide this from him. It'll hurt him more than anything, be honest with him, explain and go from there. He won't hurt Alex, I don't think." Pausing, she wagged her eyebrows suggestively as she had a thought. "I mean you've heard the rumors, if anything ever happened to my dad, Uncle Quinn is supposed to take care of my mom for him, I don't want to think about what else that entails but whatever. but I think my point is some people have life insurance policies and some people have backup relationships. Abel can be an asshole but he's a good man. Just talk to him, he'll understand."
Shaking her head Audrey felt a headache of her own coming on.
"Your handling this awfully well for someone who just got left at the altar." Audrey commented dryly, " You know your awfully wise for someone whose never dated."
Though she rolled her eyes, Cara gave her a sad smile. "Why thank you. Ugh, I know I should probably be devastated about it all but honestly...I think I'm relieved. Its fucking weird but I think I had this idea of who he was built up in my mind and the reality didn't match the fantasy. Don't get me wrong I really am disappointed but not for the reason I should be and I think that's the real problem. Even when Alex was laying it on thick, kissing me, telling me everything I ever wanted to hear it just didn't feel right. I thought its what I wanted but I think what I really want is still out there. Waiting. If that makes any damn sense."
Chewing on her lower lip Audrey walked to the counter and set the bottle down beside her. "What do we do now?"
Beginning to clean up the kitchen Cara glanced from the window to her friend. "Now...Now we take charge of our futures. No more hesitating okay. Your going to talk to my brother and I'm going to talk to my Dad, but right now we're going to make cookies and stress eat." She said with an amused smirk and Audrey couldn't agree more.
As they gathered the ingredients Cara said in between cracking eggs into the mixing bowl her voice growing quieter so no one overhead them. "I didn't tell you before but last night my parents were downstairs talking for hours and they wouldn't let me leave my room. I could hear my mom crying, she was so upset and when I woke up this morning Quinn was sleeping on a cot in the hallway outside my bedroom door and Coopers kid Jacoby was on the front porch with his rifle. They're scared Audrey, my dad is scared enough to have the guys posted up on the doorstep in the night..."
Feeling a chill run down her spine Audrey couldn't shake the horrible feeling that something awful was coming.
"If your parents are scared Cara then we should be too."
Visibly shuddering she placed a flour dusted hand overtop hers and gave it a hard squeeze. "We'll stick together Audrey, you and me...It'll be okay."
Casting a glance at her friend, Audrey began to roll the cookie dough into small balls. "Your really okay with this whole Alex thing? I couldn't stand it if I hurt you Cara for any reason."
Once more Cara waved away her friends concerns. "Really, I'm fine. Honest. Whoever is waiting for me is out there, they'll find me exactly when I need them to. I just have a feeling...You watch Audrey, it'll happen when I least expect it and it'll be...everything." She said with a knowing smile. "You'll see." She said with a wink.
Upstairs, Alexander sat on the floor his head in his hands, fingers combing through his hair as he gripped the strands until his scalp burned with the effort. No sooner had he come up the stairs after fleeing the kitchen he'd seen her again. She'd walked upstairs without a second glance and into what was formally his grandfathers bedroom. Following her inside he'd slammed the door only to find himself alone. Again. Jaw clenching hard, he'd been sure his teeth would crack. "Do you want to get me killed! Cause that's what will happen...You of all people should know that." Picking up the nearest object a wooden chair he'd slammed it into the wall with a shout. It felt good to destroy something. The desk lap had been next, followed by the framed pictures on the wall that he ripped down one by one and flung across the room. It wasn't until he'd picked up the mattress and flipped it over did he do a slow turn inspecting the damage. Slowly lowering himself to the floor, Alexander turned to look at the corner of the room, the broken lamp flickering light against the wall. Exhaling a slow breath he laughed darkly at the ghost that haunted him a ghost only he could see. "Don't worry, I'll always love you...and that love is going to get me killed, then again I think that's exactly what you want." No one answered him of course, there was only the sound of his own ragged breathing.
Pulling the crumbled pack of cigarettes from his cut pocket he slammed them against his palm packing the tobacco tighter. Fumbling with the zippo lighter he took a long hard drag and with a grateful sigh he willed the nicotine to calm his frazzled nerves perhaps it would help with this headache. He'd smoked almost the entire pack and he'd been to busy to just buy a new one. This pack had been in his personal effects when he'd gotten discharged. For a four year old pack of smokes they weren't half bad. Watching the plume of smoke rise to the ceiling he rested his head back against the wall. Fuck, fuck, fuck. As if the Club didn't have enough to deal with he was going to have to speak to Abel, explain to him what the hell just happened downstairs. Scratching his brow with his thumb nail he tried to gather his thoughts, he felt exhausted. He needed sleep but sleep meant he would dream and he couldn't deal with the weight of the past not that his present was looking any better. He just wanted one night where the memories didn't come crashing back where he didn't have to see things he wasn't entirely sure were real in the first place. He hadn't been plagued by these nightmares to badly in prison and he wondered why they would resurface with just a vengeance now. It was the same with these headaches, the nicotine wasn't helping, if anything it was growing worse again. Fuck he had to talk to Abel. He had to sort this whole mess out, he couldn't just throw Audrey to the wolves. Eyeing the room warily he decided enough was enough, first he'd take shower, than he'd clean up the room. It was the least he could do though his grandpa never slept here. In fact, Tig hadn't slept in this room in over eighteen years.
Not since Tessa had told him goodnight.
Not since she left them all behind.
Interlude...
Cruel.
Merciless.
Monstrous.
All words used to describe Salvatore "Lucifer" Moretti. When you were the King of Hell, no one respected you unless you were willing to be all of those things and he was more than willing to meet all those expectations. The Brotherhoods, Cartels, MC's and even lowest of criminals eventually answered to one man and that was the King of the criminal underworld. If you wanted to smuggle cocaine, guns, cars through the ports or across state lines you came to Lucifer. Need to bribe a judge? Done. Make evidence disappear? Well you paid tribute to the Devil. No one was exempt from paying their dues. It was amazing what money and fear could buy. Dreams or nightmares depending on who you asked were granted on a daily basis. Nothing was for free and everyone paid their pound of flesh. Those were the rules and he was a stickler for the rules. He demanded order and obedience from everyone. There were no exceptions. A creature of habit he rarely left the confines of his mansion in what he affectionately called Hell. Here he had everything he could ever dream of or so he'd believed. Not even the gifts his soldiers brought him. The tributes that had given him satisfaction as a younger man in his twenties had lost their appeal. As the days drew on he'd been unable to deny something had felt off. Empty. The very things had once brought him joy and satisfaction were beginning to feel hollow. Even the bourbon that had once tasted rich and sweet was now ash on his tongue. His favorite cigars imported from Cuba had lost their earthy vigor and don't even get him started on the women. He bristled with disdain at the very thought. As a younger man in his twenties this seemed like an impossibility. All of these riches that had once brought him happiness no longer helped to fill the void inside him. The dark chasm inside his soul that swallowed up the light around him. Gun's, drugs, and the women after his empire the vultures who preyed upon his fortune had become a burden. For days he had tried and failed to ignore these nagging doubts that had taken root inside of him. Now looking around at the wealth around him he could no longer ignore the truth. For the first time in 36 years Lucifer was lonely. As a man of his status there was no such thing as trust or casual friendship and yet he knew in his gut that was what he yearned for most. True companionship. A partner to share his power and wealth with. Someone to draw inspiration from when the hour was late and he felt that familiar touch of emptiness curling inside his wicked heart.
Admittedly it had been a long and brutal road to building his vast empire. The road to hell had been paved with more than just good intentions, it had been built brick by brick by his own calloused hands. Hands that were eternally covered in the blood of the wicked and innocent just the way he liked it. He'd longed to build a legacy that would survive even after he had left this world but what good was it all if he was alone. With more money than God himself he should have wanted for nothing and yet here he was alone. He hated this feeling, it filled him with insatiable rage. It made him feel weak and there was nothing he hated more. There were many things he could tolerate but weakness was never one of them. Least of all weakness in himself. Sitting at his mahogany desk, fingers steepled beneath his chin he sneered at the ornate details decorating the room, the vaulted ceilings and that's when his eyes landed on the expensive bourbon filling the cut crystal decanter on the edge of his desk. In that second it represented everything that tormented him and with a growl he picked it up flung it against the wall where it shattered into a million pieces against the original Monet hanging on the wall. Glass and amber liquid rained down onto the Italian marble. Easily a million dollar temper tantrum and he still felt nothing. Nothing but that same awful emptiness.
Dante his right hand man had just left his office not an hour before after alluding to pressing issues topside. Problems that needed his personal attention and it made him wonder if it wasn't the distraction he needed to help himself. The garden needed tending, according to Dante a few of his wayward children were being uncharacteristically disobedient. Perhaps this was just the distraction he needed. After all he wasn't going to find a solution to his dilemma sulking in his mansion. The most rebellious of his wayward children on his payroll had been particularly busy. At first Dante had thought it was a clerical error in their book keeping but it turned out to be something else entirely. Lucas Rochford a wealthy Aryan Brotherhood leader had been making suspicious moves in the last year. Whispers of disappearances and subtle powershifts. Allegedly he had been making suspicious inquires and committing unsettling powerplays. This was out of character for Rochford as strange as it may sound. He had a reputation for being by the book and reasonably levelheaded. He was known in social circles to be quite vain and yet when Dante had made inquiries they'd found Rochford hadn't attended any social functions or meeting in person for the last year. No one could positively say they'd seen Rochford with their own eyes. Any orders had been coming down the chain of command. This solider talked to this one and that one relayed the message to the next. On and on it went with no clear answer. All Dante could gather for certain was no one had actually seen Rochford with their own eyes. All of his sightings were pure speculation and that was a red flag. Normally Lucifer would have simply just sent Dante to reprimand Rochford and remind him of the natural order of things but this was evolving into something that needed a firmer hand.
No, it seemed Lucas Rochford was more than just a spoiled child acting out to get Daddy's attention. In fact until recently he'd taken painstaking means to fly under the radar even by Underworld standards to go undetected as he made bribes and threats to people in positions of power. Not that anything truly remained a secret from him. Not for long anyway. Moretti hadn't meant for this this to grow out of hand but what was done was done. It was time to clean house, a slap on the wrist just wouldn't do, The Aryan leader had been very very naughty. Blackmail, bribery, murder, had been filling the hours of his days in the last months. It seemed Lucas had been a very busy boy. Especially after his inside the FBI gave him a call. They'd been very interested in alerting him to Rochford's latest acquisition. Through months of aforementioned blackmail and bribery he'd somehow gotten ahold of a high profile sealed evidence locker from an over twenty year old case. Evidence collected from a spree of serial murders committed by an Aryan Cultist by the name of Samson Michaelson. The Aryan Boogeyman himself. An entity so evil that even Moretti himself had deemed to monstrous and that was saying something.
His contact inside the FBI had relayed to them the contents of the evidence locker and it was a staggering amount of information. Samson had been a prolific killer. His reach touching beyond jus the horror's he left behind in Charming. The FBI had connected Samson to numerous unsolved murders. It was rumored he kidnapped, tortured, raped and killed over twelve people and those were just the women. If it had gone to trail it would have been said the number was higher because that was only the ones that been found. A purest of his own design. He'd believed the old God's spoke to him through the body of a girl he had kidnapped and held hostage for three years. He'd tortured, drugged and raped her to achieve his visions, to hear the promise of power and immortality from the Gods of old and the end that same girl had been the one to kill him. It was rather fitting if he said so himself.
Now why would Rochford be interested in an notoriously sore subject for his people. An obvious stain on their already soiled history of ruin? Well the answer to that was easy. A girl. It always came down to a girl and that girls name was Cara Grace Teller. Daughter of Lillian Teller who had once upon a time been known as Jennifer Tully, Ron Tully and Lucas Rochford's half sister. Rochford's had amassed a horrid and complicated family tree. Rochford Sr. had been old, powerful money. Terrifying in his youth and even worse in his old age. Ronald Tully had been the second eldest in a long list of offspring, followed by Lucas and eventually Lily who was believed to be his last and youngest child. None had survived after her and it was believed the only reason she had survived at all was because she'd disappeared into the foster care system. To date the only surviving children were Lucas and Lily and while Lucas had no children of his own that made his wayward Niece Rochford Sr.'s only living grandchild. A title that came with an inheritance of pain and suffering. Rochford Sr. was a monster of biblical portions though no one had seen the old man in years. It was rumored he was dead. Apparently an estranged niece Lucas had never met in person was worth incurring the Devils wrath. It was becoming well known on the street that Rochford was obsessed with the girl. It was borderline obscene if his contacts were to be believed. Rochford was becoming desperate, he was losing his patience with the Tellers and sooner rather than later that patience would snap.
So what did the legacy of a dead cult leader, an Aryan, and a ballerina have in common? Well he was going to find out.
Curiosity peaked, Lucifer reached out and grabbed the tumbler of undrunk whiskey in front of him and tossed it back. The amber liquid warming his throat and chest as he swallowed it with a great sigh.
Picking up his cellphone he punched in a number and didn't have to wait long for someone to answer.
"Dante, I've made my decision. Get the car, the guns. We're going to Charming."
It was time to go tend to his flock and he knew just where he was going to start.