As Kazuma entered his room, he released a heavy sigh, thoroughly exhausted from the day's antics. Making his way across the room, he ended up on his bed, flopping back with little regard as Chomusuke leapt up beside him, sparing him a curious meow.
"Hey Chomps old buddy," Kazuma breathed out, using the last ounce of energy he had to scratch the cat's head. "Busy day at the salt mines today. We've been going on quests like crazy. I'm exhausted..."
The cat purred pleasantly, making the young man chuckle before shoving his hand under his pillow, searching for a few seconds before finding what he was looking for, retrieving his newly revised journal. Once more, Chomps made a curious noise and pawed at the book before it was pulled out of reach by Kazuma.
"Ah-ah, I'm not letting you touch this one," Kazuma stated sternly. "You totally trashed the last journal I had and I had to rush order a new one. So paws off."
Chomps promptly made a noise that was dangerously close to a hiss, only to follow it up with another meow as Kazuma gently pushed the cat over, lightly scratching below her chin as he flipped the book open, re-reading his previous entries of the past week.
Chomps wrecked my last journal so I went ahead and picked up this new one. Oh well, the last one was chock full of conspiracy junk anyway. Seriously, I ended up cringing at some of the shit I wrote when re-reading it after the confession, so maybe it's a good thing Chomps tore it up. That written garbage was almost as bad as the fanfictions I used to write when I was in my chuunibyou phase.
Speaking of chuunis...
"C'mon, Kazuma! Keep up!" Megumin chided with a giggle, practically yanking her boyfriend alongside her as she hastily moved through the streets of Axel. "A new shop opened, and Yunyun said that the owner is one of my clan members!"
"Heh, I'm half-expecting it to be that lame shoe cobbler guy we met," Kazuma snarked. "What was his name again? Buck? I wanna say Buck."
"Close! You're thinking of Bukkororii." Megumin corrected him, before shrugging her shoulders. "Yunyun didn't mention who the owner was, so who knows who it could be?"
"I'm still wondering why a Crimson Demon would go out of their way to set up shop in Axel, considering they're from your clan," Kazuma said aloud. "Don't you think that's at least a little strange?"
"I mean, a little bit, I guess. Still, maybe they heard about the attack?" Megumin suggested, tilting her head in consideration. "You should know that my people don't like to shy away from a good fight. Maybe they thought there'd still be some of the Devil King's minions hanging around?"
"I'd argue, but this town does seem to attract a lot of members from the Devil King's army," Kazuma said, recalling his encounter with Beldia as a prime example. "So I guess I can't really blame him or her for thinking that."
"Yeah, figures. This place does attract a helluva lot more attention than I would have expected." Megumin agreed, before she spotted her friend further down the street, a bright smile growing on her face. "Aha! There's Yunyun! We must be close, c'mon!"
Once again getting dragged by the arm, Kazuma had no choice but to follow his excited girlfriend over the other Crimson Demon waiting for them by the corner. The second Yunyun spotted the lovebirds, she waved and exclaimed, "Kazuma! Megumin! You actually showed up at the spot I suggested!"
"Of course we did, Yun-squared." Kazuma replied, cracking his own smile. "You didn't expect us to just not come with, right? Even I'm not that awkward!"
Yunyun started wringing her wrists nervously as she cast her gaze downward. "W-well...I don't know why, but a part of me expected you guys to ditch me by taking another route. S-sorry for not trusting you…"
"Hey, it's alright, Yunyun." Megumin replied, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder and offering a comforting smile. "I get that you're gonna have your doubts, given our past, but Kazuma and I are gonna do our best to be good friends to you, alright?"
Getting teary-eyed, Yunyun wiped her eyes with her sleeve before nodding brightly at her...friend. "Th-thank you so much, Megumin...And...I promise I'll do my best to be a good friend to you too!"
"I know, Yunyun. Thank you." Megumin replied, patting the girl's shoulder twice before taking her hand back. "Now, enough with the touchy-feely. Where's that shop you mentioned?"
"Oh, right! It's just a block away from us," Yunyun answered, pointing down the next street. "You think it's the beginning of another Crimson Conquest like in the stories of old?"
"I'm sorry, the Crimson what from the stories of what?" Kazuma interjected, mildly alarmed by the sound of what Yunyun had suggested. "What on earth are you two talking about?"
Megumin answered nonchalantly, "Every time a Crimson Demon clan wants to settle in a new location, they go on what's called a Crimson Conquest to take over new land. It's kinda like a crusade but way cooler."
"Oh. Uh...cool, I guess." Kazuma replied dutifully, still mildly unnerved by how calm the two seemed to the prospect. The Crimson Demons seemed cool, granted, but a take over sounded...messy. "You don't really think that's their play here, do you?"
"Oh, no, not at all," Megumin quickly replied, waving her hand in a dismissive manner. "My clan stopped doing those after settling near the Devil King's territory. Besides, even if this was a Crimson Conquest, there'd be a lot more fanfare. It's either go big or go home with us, remember?"
"Oh, how could I forget?" Kazuma snarked, relieved that the apparent conquest wasn't as legit as it first sounded. "Anyway, we checking out that store or what? The anticipation is killing me, you two!"
The feeling was mutual, as the two magi raced each other down the street to the new shop, with Kazuma lightly jogging behind. When he did catch up to the girls, they were arguing over who had won the race, Megumin being particularly adamant that she won by a hair. Kazuma forgot about their competitive debate when he noticed the shop itself. Unlike all the other establishments, this one stood out like a sore thumb with its red paint job and flashy decorations covering it.
This building just screams "Crimson Demon", Kazuma thought to himself before looking back at the two bickering archwizards. "You two finished with your pissing contest? Because I really wanna check this place out more than ever now."
"Yeah, yeah. We're done." Megumin replied, before smirking and shooting Yunyun a pointed look as she walked away. "Because I won, naturally. Another victory against my rival!"
Kazuma's smug girlfriend promptly ignored the protests coming from her fellow Crimson Demon as they all stepped inside. Once they entered the surprisingly furbished and cozy shop, a raven-haired, red-eyed man suddenly popped up from behind the main counter posing.
"FOOLISH TRAVELLERS!" He shouted. "You have been ensnared by my cleverly disguised tourist trap! For I, the legendary BokBok, will become the richest Crimson Demon in all the - oh dang! Megumin, Yunyun, is it really you?"
"BokBok? You finally managed to leave the village?" Megumin sputtered, a surprised smile growing on her face as she nodded approvingly. "About damn time! What changed your mind about hunkering down back home, man?"
The Crimson Demon, now revealed as BokBok, shrugged lightly. "Oh you know, I figured if I ever wanted to be a successful traveling merchant, I'd have to actually travel and all. Besides, for as nice as it is back home, it was getting kinda boring being stuck there with little customers. So I figured, why not kill two fire-breathing falcons with one stone?"
"Well, it is nice to see you again, all the same!" Yunyun chimed in, looking about the shop with visible wonder and practically bouncing on the heels of her feet. "How has business been?"
"Amazing! I had no idea the people of Axel were this invested in our culture!" BokBok cheered. "Then again, seeing as you two are you, you might've had a hand in that, haven't you?"
"We've certainly indulged in our fair share of badassery." Megumin replied with a confident smile, before snapping her fingers in realization and grabbing Kazuma. "Oh, this is my boyfriend, Kazuma! I taught him to use Explosion magic! Pretty cool, right?"
"C'mon Megumin, don't overhype me like that," Kazuma chastised. "I've still got a long way to go before I'm ever as good as you. Compared to your Explosions, mine are like pop rocks."
"Still, I'm always happy to hear that an outsider takes up magic, especially from a fellow Demon!" BokBok insisted, extending his hand to Kazuma and giving it a firm shake. "Hope to see your work sometime, man! I'm sure it'll be pretty damn cool!"
It had been a while since Kazuma was acquainted with a fellow dude, so he happily returned the shake and said, "Well, I'll certainly give it my all. Hey, maybe next time I'll catch ya later and buy ya a beer."
"Ha, ha! I like this guy's style!" BokBok crowed with a laugh, before turning to his fellow demons and cracking his own broad smile. "You two certainly know how to pick 'em, huh?"
"Oh yeah, he's a keeper alright," said Megumin, before giving Kazuma an unexpected pat on the ass. "And cute as hell too."
"Whoa, hey! Too comfortable, Megumin!" The young man sputtered, stepping away and putting himself behind Yunyun, using the poor girl as a shield. "You're my witness, Yunyun! That was harassment! The shoe is on the other foot now!"
"Wait, wha?" Yunyun muttered, looking between Kazuma and Megumin in rapid succession. "I, uh, I, uh, I'M NO GOOD UNDER PRESSURE!"
"C'mon, Kazuma, quit stressing her out." Megumin insisted, rolling her eyes as her boyfriend scooched further away, still holding onto Yunyun. "Seriously? All this over an ass pat? You've really outdone yourself this time, dork. Gender equality my foot."
Kazuma stood his ground and pointed at her girlfriend accursedly. "Hey! Don't you dare use gender equality's name in vain. I really am an advocate for it, you know."
"If you were a real advocate, you'd quit your bitchen' and let me pat your ass!" Megumin snarked, darting towards him and making him back up further, before huffing in irritation. "Yunyun, help me out here! I'm clearly in the right, right?"
"Don't listen to her, Yun!" Kazuma cried out. "She's a horndog and she knows it. Defend my rights!"
"K-kazuma! Stop using me as a shield, and face her yourself!" Yunyun protested, stomping her foot in a mini tantrum. The outburst was enough to surprise Kazuma, resulting in Yunyun slipping out of his grip and darting behind him. "Sorry, Kazuma, but I've made my choice!"
And then, in what was quite possibly the last move any of those three bickering idiots could have predicted, Yunyun wound up with her dominant hand and smacked Kazuma's ass, resulting in the young man immediately shrieking bloody murder.
"Yunyun!?" Kazuma exclaimed, protecting his abused rear end with his hands. "You...I just...what...eh?"
"I-I-I'M SO SORRY!" The poor girl immediately cried, lunging forward and capturing the young man in a hug as she apologized profusely. "I just got caught up in the moment, I swear! It's Megumin's fault, she's a bad influence on me! I'm sorry, I swear!"
"Bad influence!?" cried a shocked Megumin, before she rolled up her sleeve and started stomping towards Yunyun. "Why I oughta- -"
Suddenly, wheezing laughter drew everyone's attention to a kneeling BokBok clutching his sides on the floor. In their little game, the three had forgotten they were in the presence of another person, one who unwittingly had earned himself front row seats to the circus.
"Oh, oh! I don't think I laughed this hard in years!" BokBok cackled, tears trickling down his cheeks as he continued to laugh uncontrollably. "Gods above, you three are a riot!"
Completely flustered, Kazuma stubbornly crossed his arms and huffed, "Well, I'm glad we could serve as your personal court jesters. Now, are you gonna show us some host hospitality or are gonna keep laughing on the floor?"
"O-of course, just-just gimme a minute to get it out of my system!" BokBok insisted, taking another minute before he composed himself to the point of rising to his feet, taking a long, deep breath as he stood back up. "Whoo! That felt good! Alright, just for that, twenty percent off whatever you three buy today! Please, feel free to look around!"
Ended up buying a pair of fingerless gloves after that. Might be seen as a bit chuuni, but whatever. As long as I don't start wearing an eyepatch and wrapping my arms in bandages, I think I'll be fine.
Of course, Megumin and Yunyun made up on the way back to the mansion. Didn't catch much of their conversation, but whatever they discussed must have been pretty positive, because Yunyun was practically skipping the entire way back to the mansion before we went our separate ways. Wonder what they said to each other…
Oh well. Anyway, the next thing I did was hang out Dark for the afternoon. Although I didn't take into account that she had her own plans in mind...
"Dark, I love you to bits, I really do." Kazuma stated as he stood in the threshold of the dojo, glaring at his crusader girlfriend and their unexpected guest with no small amount of ire. "But this was not what came to mind when I said I was totally up to spending the day doing whatever you wanted."
"Oh honestly, Kazuma!" Darkness huffed, adorning a rather cute pout on her face. "Why must you treat exercise as though it were the plague? It's healthy for the body and soul! Besides, I was serious when I said I'd help you train, and a crusader always stays true to her word."
"Yeah, well it's embarrassing enough to flub at your training regiment when it's just you, ok? An audience kinda makes it worse for me!" Kazuma retorted, before turning his attention fully to Chris, who looked far too pleased with herself for his liking. "And why are you here, anyway? Just looking for more ways to make fun of me?"
"Your words, not mine." Chris replied with a carefree shrug. "But I figured I'd be a good sport and help Darkness help you with your training. Eris knows she needs it...oh, and you too I guess!"
"Mhm, sure. Whatever you say." Kazuma retorted lamely, before sighing and finally entering the dojo proper. "Well, considering I know that neither of you will let me escape this at this point, what exactly do you have in mind for today? And I swear to god, if either of you even thinks about burpees, I'm leaving forever."
Chuckling warmly, Darkness placed a comforting hand on Kazuma's shoulder before saying, "Don't worry, Kazuma. I know how much you detest burpees from our last session, so today we'll be focusing on just the basics for you. And perhaps we can do some sparring afterwards if you're up to it."
"Alright, sure. Honestly, sparring doesn't sound half bad!" Kazuma admitted, even breaking a small smile. While he had no love for exercise, at least with sparring there was an edge of competitive fun that gave him a spark of drive. "If I recall correctly, I managed to disarm you...twice, last time?"
"W-well, I…" A blush formed on the woman's face and she remained conscious of her fidgeting. "...yes. However! I was merely going easy on you considering it was your first time! I shall not be bested again!"
"Uh-huh, whatever you say, darling." Kazuma snarked in reply, mercifully ignoring the restrained whimper that followed as he turned to Chris, grimacing slightly. "Now, Chris...I'm scared of her. She's smart, can make use of her spells, and she's faster than both of us. Still, maybe she'll take it easy on me too..?"
"After all the times you've stolen my panties? Think again," Chris responded, leaning in slightly towards Kazuma with a menacing grin on her face. "Watch your back, Kaz~"
"Yup. That's the stuff of nightmares, right there." Kazuma confirmed with a groan, knowing full well that when the time came, the thief was gonna kick his ass something fierce. "Well, no point in slowing down now. Where we starting, Dark?"
The three started out with a basic circuit of jumping jacks, push-ups, and sit-ups as an effective warm up before getting started on anything too serious. It was more than tolerable for the crusader and thief, and even Kazuma didn't struggle half as much as he expected to.
After that, the crusader and adventurer assumed their respective positions following a short discussion, both holding wooden swords for their spar. Chris sat cross legged on the sidelines, effectively making her the referee for that round.
"Now Kazuma, I know what I said earlier, but are you positive you want me to go all out for this session?" Darkness asked with a hint of worry in her tone. "I wouldn't want to almost hurt you like last time…"
"Relax, Dark, I'll be fine." Kazuma assured her, pleasantly surprised by how worried she seemed. It wasn't like she hurt him that bad last time. "Just...try not to uppercut me again, and I think we'll be good to go, right?"
Just like that, the blonde woman nodded in newfound determination. "Understood. Hence forth, I shall refrain from using my fists for the duration this session. Chris, are you ready?"
"To watch Kaz get his shit rocked? Oh yeah, I'm more than ready." Chris replied, before flashing the unamused young man a smug smile and thumbs up. "Good luck! You're sure as hell gonna need it."
"Oh gee, thanks for having faith in me," Kazuma grumbled before bracing himself for the match to begin. The moment Chris gave the signal, the lean young man quickly closed in on his opponent to get the drop on her. However, Darkness was expecting this, for she quickly followed it up with a block from her wooden sword.
Kazuma disengaged, swinging again from below, only to have the crusader block that strike as well, followed by her breaking the hold herself by pushing him back and taking her own swipe, one that he barely managed to block.
"Woah! How'd you get so good so fast?" Kazuma asked breathlessly. "You kill one boar and suddenly you're a swordmaster overnight? What's going on with you?"
"What can I say? I believe that I've been given a proper motivation to improve." Darkness replied, bringing her sword up again and meeting another block. "I can't afford to just take hits anymore, that won't be good enough. I need to be able to do what our enemies can do, better and faster."
Uh-oh, I might've created a monster if that's the case, Kazuma fretted internally, primarily going on the defensive now that Darkness was finally landing her hits. Well, there's still one more lesson she needs to learn about her enemies: how they can play dirty.
Kazuma proceeded to press forward with everything he had, separating their blades and following up with a series of quick, repeated slashes. They were sloppy and held little accuracy, but they were enough to keep the crusader off balance as he gained more ground, forcing her back a step with each cross of their blades.
Now that Kazuma had successfully put enough distance between himself and Darkness, he stuck his hand out at point blank range and shouted the one spell he knew would give him just the edge he needed. "Create Water!"
The resulting torrent of water blasted directly into the crusader's unsuspecting face. Darkness gurgled in shock for a moment before the stream subsided, leaving her drenched ponytail trickling water from its tip and her wet bodysuit tightly clinging to her skin. She didn't react when Kazuma poked her abdomen with his training sword. In fact, she promptly fell flat on her back, seemingly too dumbstruck to say or do anything.
"Hmm...Well, I guess I won this round, right?" Kazuma asked aloud, glancing back at Chris who gave him a rather critical look, slowly shaking her head in the process. "What?"
"No, Kazuma." Chris stated pointedly, her gaze of shame never faltering. "Just...no."
"Hey, it's an effective strategy! If anything, I'm teaching her to always expect the unexpected," Kazuma defended, not looking where he was going when he walked forward to check on Darkness. "Don't paint me as the bad guy here - !"
While he was busy talking to Chris, Kazuma failed to account just how wet and slippery his Create Water spell had made the floor, causing him to slip and fall right on top of Darkness. The sudden (and cushy) landing resulted in a sharp gasp from the crusader, breaking her out of her apparent trance. Kazuma reluctantly pulled himself up from the mounds he found himself imprisoned in only to come face to face with his flushed, dripping wet girlfriend.
"Uh...this isn't what it looks like?" he said sheepishly.
Kazuma didn't have time to reflect on his lame choice of words, because, before he knew it, Darkness had pulled his head down and captured his lips with her own. The kiss that followed was...certainly different from their first. While the first kiss had been tender, sweet, and full of unadulterated love, this kiss was packed with raw passion and aggression, apparently sparking from tension that had barely been held in check until this very moment. Both Kazuma and Chris were left completely in awe by the crusader's bold move on the former.
Before Darkness could dare to slip in some tongue action, she suddenly realized what exactly she was doing and immediately pushed Kazuma off of her. She scrambled up and instinctively reached out to help her boyfriend back on his feet before halting and withdrawing her hand in fear. She'd really done it this time.
"K-kazuma…" She sputtered helplessly, desperately trying to collect herself enough to regain some control over the situation, to do what little damage control she could. "I-I'm so sorry, that-that was improper of me! I-I shouldn't have...without even asking...goodness, what was I thinking?"
"Woah…" Kazuma breathed, only half-listening to Darkness' rambles. "Did, did we just make out? That was...fucking hot, holy shit! I think I liked it! Who knew you could be in charge when you set your mind to it!"
Darkness blanked slightly after she registered his word, turning her attention fully back to Kazuma as she gawked at him in shock. "S-so...you're not upset with me, then? I mean, I did spring that on you rather suddenly, after all."
"Huh?" Kazuma uttered, before shaking his head to clear away any perverse thoughts. "Oh! Uh...no, I'm not upset with you, Dark. I sorta figured this kind of thing would happen at some point, what with you holding yourself back and all. But...heh, damn, you're a...a really good kisser, you know that?"
"Oh...I...thank you?" Darkness attempted, before breaking off into a tired chuckle and shaking her head, cheeks still quite flushed. "You're quite the good kisser yourself, you know."
"Who, me? No way, I didn't even make an attempt to kiss back!" Kazuma argued as he finally stood back up. "Besides, you should know how subpar I am anyway when we shared our first kiss."
"Now, that's not fair. Everyone's first kiss is a bit strange, right?" Darkness attempted to retort, before turning to Chris for support. "Surely you can attest to that fact, right Chris?"
The thief in question sauntered over to Kazuma as she added her two cents. "While I can't speak from personal experience, I can say that it is just common knowledge. Everybody who's new to kissing is gonna suck at it the first couple times. But, with enough practice, it becomes second nature." Chris then proceeded to pet Kazuma's head as though he were a confused puppy. "Isn't that right, lover boy?"
"I...I honestly can't stand you right now. How can one woman be so condescending and sarcastic?" Kazuma snarked, batting the thief's hand away as an expression dangerously close to a sneer rose on his face. "Y'know, even if I do get my ass beat, I'm starting to warm up to the idea of taking you on with how cheeky you've been lately."
"Oh? Is that a challenge I smell?" Chris asked rhetorically, before leaning in close with a smug grin to rival Megumin's. "Alright then, Kazuma Satou. I accept. Let's have some fun with this, huh?"
"Oh, I intend to, I assure you." Kazuma retorted, retrieving his sword from the ground and leaning close to Darkness, whispering his next words. "Be prepared to call Aqua in case any of my bones end up broken."
"Are you sure you need to do this, love?" Darkness whispered back. "Why can't you two resolve this with just your words?"
"Normally I would, but like I said, Chris has been kinda pushy lately. I'm gonna try to put her in her place...that, or get my ass kicked by a girl. Again." Kazuma replied, before leaning back and heading to his spot on the opposite side of the dojo, assuming his stance and nodding to the thief. "Ready?"
"Oh, I was born ready," Chris replied casually. She didn't pull her weapon out or even assume a stance, she simply stood there, inspecting her fingernails like it was another day out for her. This only infuriated Kazuma even further.
"If you're not gonna take this seriously, then- -"
"Smokescreen!"
Without warning, Chris seemingly threw something down at her feet and suddenly, a thick fog enveloped the arena. After Kazuma had his coughing fit, he immediately went to activate his Farsight and Enemy Detection skills to try and pinpoint the crafty thief. He grew increasingly worried when he realized those two particular skills weren't working at the moment.
"Really? Hiding instead of fighting?" Kazuma barked, keeping his blade raised and continuing to move and keep his eyes open. "C'mon, Chris, I thought you and I were gonna have a proper fight, not play hide-and-seek!"
Predictably, Kazuma didn't receive a reply back. At this point, he was just talking to mask his concerns. He really should've known better than to challenge a thief with loads more experience.
Just then, Kazuma felt a tap on his shoulder, and he instinctively looked back to find no one behind. He only realized the mistake he made when he felt a wooden sword strike him in the chest. He grunted, but barely managed to block the next strike from an amused Chris.
"Hey, you seemed more than content to play games with your spar against Darkness." She retorted, spinning her own blade with remarkable ease as she sized him up, the two circling each other in preparation. "Don't tell me a few party tricks is all it takes to put you on your ass, Kaz. I'm expecting more!"
"First off, Darkness and I have a thing going on. Second, you want party tricks? Then go talk to Aqua. And third, Create Wind!"
Kazuma kept his opponent occupied with his words while preparing a basic wind spell to disperse the fog surrounding them. Once the arena was cleared, he went on the offense with a barrage of quick, short burst stabs, almost like he was fencing. Chris was just as quick to respond, blocking Kazuma's attacks and stepping out of the way when she needed to.
"Look at that, you do have some fight in you!" Chris snarked, countering another stab with her own, nearly scraping Kazuma's chest before he shifted at the last second, swiping at her and making her put more distance between them. "Alright, Kaz. You want to keep the theatrics going, or should I finish this here and now?"
Kazuma grit his teeth at the taunt, preparing to blow some sand in Chris' eyes using a combination of Create Earth and Create Wind. The second he conjured up a sizable amount of dirt in his palm, he shot it at the thief as quickly as he could, immediately rushing in to finish the fight himself.
However, Chris simply brought up her blade, shielding her eyes from the dirt before bringing the weapon down just in time to block Kazuma's blade, following up the block by grabbing his arm and twisting downward, just enough for his defense to falter. After that, it was embarrassingly easy.
Kazuma yelped at the twist of his arm, his knees automatically buckling from the sudden jolt of pain he received. Chris simply poked his chest with her sword after that, releasing his arm while that damn cheeky smile still adorned her face. "And just like that, you're dead!" she chirped. "Good fight, though. You almost made me break a sweat!"
"God, you really are testing your luck lately, you know that?" Kazuma hissed, rising back to his feet and rubbing his arm, sufficiently irritated with the thief's antics. "What has your deal been lately? I mean, we have a unique friendship, but these last few days, I don't think you've so much as smiled at me unless it was following an insult or quip of varying degrees of offensiveness! Did I piss you off or something?"
Chris' cheeky smile soon flatlined into a neutral thin line as the silver-tongued girl went into a state of serious contemplation. Her eyebrows quickly scrunched in worry as she spoke softly, "Has my teasing really been upsetting you that much? If so, then say the word and I'll stop, just like that. It wasn't my intention to pick on you or anything. I thought we were just having fun…"
"Well...when you put it like that, I don't know what to say." Kazuma replied, his frustration ebbing away as he realized Chris was being genuine with him. "It just seemed like you had something to say, but you didn't want to say it. I mean, the quips and the snark, it's all well and fun, but you really have been going hard with it these last few days. I just...well, I was getting worried I said something to screw things up. In case you hadn't noticed, I got a real shitty habit of doing that every now and again."
Chris' gaze cast downward as she internally debated with herself. Was this it? Would she confess to Kazuma the feelings she's been keeping away from him for the past couple of months now?
…
No. Not yet, at least. Right now, Kazuma needed reassurance that everything was alright between them. That was considered more important to the goddess incognito than unloading her baggage onto him all at once. So that's why she opted to bring him for a hug and comforting words instead.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it seem like I was upset with you, or that I was mad over something you said." She assured him, her words evenly measured with both compassion and reason. "I just figured...we have our own rhythm, when it comes to our friendship. Unique, like you said. I just went a little too far to one end of the spectrum in an attempt to...I dunno, show how much I cared."
Great, now I feel like a jackass, Kazuma internally scolded himself before shaking away the negative thoughts and returning Chris' hug (albeit a little more awkward). "I mean...I guess I didn't have to be such a sensitive baby about it either. Contrary to popular belief, I never really had that many friends back home and my current friend circle is fairly limited. So, I don't know, I guess I was just misinterpreting your signals or something. Sorry."
"You shouldn't have to apologize. You've already been through your fair share of shit, so I should know better than to judge you for it." Chris replied, before smiling sadly and leaning back, making sure to meet Kazuma's gaze. "So I am more sorry, and I will try my damndest to be a better friend to you in the future. Just like you would for me, right?"
Kazuma did his best to avoid direct eye contact before giving up and braving himself to look Chris in the eye when he affirmed, "Yeah, I would. Thanks, Chris. You really are a cool person, you know that?"
"Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special." Chris deadpanned with a roll of her eyes, before cracking a wide smile and lightning punching Kazuma's arm. "But for what it's worth, you're pretty damn cool yourself. Even when you're using Steal to get things you really shouldn't have."
Kazuma smirked right back. "What can I say? I learn from the best."
"Well, I'm glad to see you two have patched things up so easily." Darkness mused, surprising both the thief and adventurer as they had somehow forgotten she was still there. Nonetheless, the crusader did look quite pleased. "See? I told you talking things out was the better route, Kazuma."
"Yeah, suppose I should've taken your advice from the start," Kazuma said with an exaggerated sigh and accompanying shrug. "Y'know, it amazes me how you can be both the party's voice of reason as well as the closet perv. One of life's greatest wonders, eh?"
After that, Darkness asked if that meant I was up for round 2. I told her that we hadn't even had round 1 yet, and she got even more flustered...either I gotta start choosing my words more carefully around her, or I should seriously take her to bed soon. Honestly, I'm not sure which option is more frightening to me.
Let's move on before I start getting any funny ideas myself. After we cleaned up and said our goodbyes to Chris, I went to go change and planned on rest on the living room couch for a while. Little did I know that Aqua was already there along with Wiz. Apparently, she had invited her over to play catch up over tea when I wasn't looking. Then they invited me to come join them…
"Right, so...I'm still not entirely sure how I ended up in this position." Kazuma admitted, glancing between Aqua and Wiz as he lay on the ground, having moved to offer Wiz a seat, only to have the goddess and shopkeep propose an awfully odd idea to him. "So...walk me through this again. You two want to..?"
"Test and see which one of us makes for a better lap pillow, duh!" Aqua explained as though Kazuma had asked her what color her hair was. "If Wiz wants to try and one-up a goddess, then she's got another thing coming, friend or no."
"Yeah, you say that like it makes this situation any less bizarre, which it really doesn't, by the way." Kazuma retorted, shaking his head in utter befuddlement before turning his attention to Wiz instead. "How on earth did this come up, exactly? Is she hitting the bubbly again, because we had a deal after what happened last time with 'Bach-"
"W-we were reminiscing on the past and the...predicament you had with the wish-granting choker came up," Wiz interrupted, purposely moving her bangs to hide her face. "I remembered one of your wishes was to use my lap as a pillow and...well...I was curious if you'd like to give it another go around…?"
"I mean...are you sure?" Kazuma asked, grimacing slightly as he recalled the 'predicament' in question. "I was a real ass back then...not that so much time has passed now, I just...are you even comfortable with such an idea?"
Wiz nervously played with her hands for a bit before eventually breathing in and pushing aside her bangs to allow for one eye to look at Kazuma. "Yes, I'm positive about this. I want to earn my trust back with you and I view this as a sort of trust exercise. I am comfortable with you, Kazuma, and this is how I want to prove it."
Wiz also made sure to avoid mentioning any ulterior motives to get un-Aunt-Zoned in the process. Oh, why her?
"While I'm personally of the perspective that you don't have to earn anything from me, I...can see your reasoning, so...yeah, I guess I'm in." Kazuma relented, still looking slightly uncertain as he sat up, glancing between both women curiously. "So...how is the gonna work, exactly?"
"Simple: you're going to lay your head down on each of our laps and decide once and for all who has the superior thighs!" Aqua explained yet again as though it were first grade knowledge. "Starting with your wonderful girlfriend of course. I know how much you admire my stunning legs from afar~"
"I'm pleading ignorance, girlfriend or not." Kazuma retorted, shaking his head as he assumed the position, lying back down as Aqua stood up and walked over to join him. "I have my fair share of weaknesses, and I can't afford to divulge that your legs are one of them."
"But sharing weaknesses with those you love will only make you stronger, Kazzy," Aqua said with a certain degree of seriousness before sliding right back into her honey-sweet persona. "Now why don't you rest your head already, hmm? You look beat."
Kazuma didn't even bother responding, simply preferring to do as instructed and laying his head down on the lovely goddess' thighs. Sure enough, soft as a pillow and just as comfortable, an audible sigh of content passing Kazuma's lips the moment his head made contact.
"Yup, I've died and gone to Heaven alright," Kazuma groaned as his eyes threatened to close on him. "This...yeah, this is nice~"
"Ha-ha! That's the lap of a goddess for you." Aqua hummed pleasantly, turning to Wiz with a smug expression. "Like you could even come close to beating me with that cold, undead lap of yours."
Wiz's facial expressions in that moment cycled from initial shock, to unamused, before settling on hurt. The lich slowly looked down at her lap, grimacing at it while trying to hold back a fresh wave of hot tears. Aqua knew she made a mistake; Wiz had never had a reaction to one of her comments like this before.
"I'm sorry!" She blurted hastily, catching Wiz's attention almost instantly as the lich raised her teary eyes to meet Aqua's. "That was...mean, and too far. I can get a little too competitive when it comes to this stuff, so...I'm sorry if I just hurt your feelings. Pulling the undead card was rude, and I should know better."
Wiz managed to pull herself together before speaking for herself. "It's quite alright, Lady Aqua. I know the undead are not looked upon favorably by the gods, so I don't blame you for your outburst. Even so...you have to understand, I never desired to become a lich to defy the gods, I only became one to save my friends. So, when you make comments like that to me...it stings a little."
"I...I guess I've never considered that perspective." Aqua admitted, slightly embarrassed with the fact that she'd forgotten Wiz's sacrifice so easily. That wasn't very becoming of anyone, let alone a goddess. "You're right, and I'll be sure to refrain from making such remarks about you in the future. The choice you made, Wiz, while not one I support, shows bravery and strength, and you should be proud of that, no matter what I say."
Slowly but surely, the lich smiled brightly at the water goddess, thanking her from the bottom of her non-functioning heart. As for Kazuma...well, he had completely zoned out, tossing and turning his head to get a good feel of his "special pillow".
"Still comfy down there, Kazzy?" Aqua asked, earning a pleased hum of confirmation in reply, sparking a quiet giggle. "Well, sorry to say it, but I think it's Wiz's turn, so...up and at 'em, lazybones!"
Kazuma groaned in protest. However, he did promise Wiz to be a part of this proposed trust exercise, so he would stay true to his word. And totally not just to get a feel of the shopkeeper's creamy thighs again - what, who's saying that?
After raising his head, Aqua shifted away and allowed Wiz to take her place, with the lich kneeling in the same spot as the goddess had previously been sat. However, Kazuma hesitated, shooting Wiz a final, concerned look of uncertainty.
"Last chance to back out," he urged. "Nobody'll blame you for it; I'll completely understand."
"I assure you, Kazuma, I'm more than comfortable with this." Wiz insisted, offering the young man a beautiful smile and even cupping one of his cheeks. "You have nothing to be worried about, I promise."
Kazuma put his hand on Wiz's, hesitating for a split second before carefully removing it. With a final nod, he lowered himself into position and granted his head a second blessing that day. While Wiz's lap wasn't quite as warm as Aqua's, it was still far from being cold and uncomfortable. It could be best described as pressing a chilled can of soda onto the back of your neck on a hot day. With the only exception being that the "can" was very soft and delicate.
Slowly, as more time passed and he grew accompanied to the cold, Kazuma released another relieved sigh and let his eyes flutter shut. Wiz's lap really was as comfortable as he remembered...not that he recalled the memory often, of course!
Wiz, unlike the last time they did this together, actually giggled at Kazuma's reaction. She was still blushing, of course, but she didn't seem to be uncomfortable like before. "So, I take it you're enjoying it?"
"Mhm, very much, yeah." Kazuma confirmed, smiling blissfully as he indulged in his terribly comfortable temporary pillow. "This certainly doesn't feel as weird as it did before. It feels...genuine, I guess."
"Y-you could say that, yes," Wiz mumbled under her breath, recalling the first time Kazuma used her lap as a pillow. How he couldn't resist rubbing her thighs...how he had the perfect view of her bosom...the part where he even laid his face down directly on her lap, making a conscious effort to breathe heavily…
"I'm sorry, did...that make things awkward?" Kazuma asked quietly, already starting to become quite tired, the idea of sleep becoming more and more appealing by the second. "I know it's not exactly a good memory, for either of us. Guess I was just...proud of the progress I've made."
The lich snapped herself out of discovering new fantasies, looking down at the boy in earnest. "Oh, uh, no, you're alright Kazuma. In fact, I'm inclined to agree with you: we really have made a lot of progress together. My time spent with you is something I wouldn't trade for the world."
"Thanks, Wiz. Couldn't agree more." Kazuma murmured, drifting closer and closer to sleep as he inadvertently nuzzled further into his temporary pillow, a yawn slipping past his lips. "Lotsa fun, lotsa laughs, and we're better for it now, ain't we?"
"Yes, yes we are…" Wiz mumbled, doing her best to wrangle with her true feelings for Kazuma. Oh, what the hell? Aqua and the others already gave her permission, and there's no other time like the present. Time for her to get out of the Aunt-Zone. "Kazuma...I- -"
Wiz's confession was interrupted by a quiet snore, making the lich startle slightly before looking down and realizing that the young man had fallen asleep. Her mouth opened and closed a few times uselessly for a few seconds before she sighed heavily. Why was it always her?
Aqua came up to give her friend a pat on the shoulder and offered a sympathetic smile. "And he says I'm hopeless. But don't worry, you'll get him next time. I believe in you!"
"Thank you, Lady Aqua. Your support means a lot to me." Wiz replied, a small smile rising on her face as she nodded to the goddess, before turning her attention back to Kazuma. "So...should we give him a few more minutes?"
The goddess tapped her chin in "thought" before a devious smirk crossed her face. "Let me do something first."
Before Wiz could pry Aqua for further info, the cheeky blue-haired minx saddled herself directly on top of Kazuma's lap, careful as not to stir him awake. Yet.
"Okay, wake him now," Aqua said in a hushed tone, leveling her small giggle fit.
"Are you certain?" Wiz questioned, earning an excited nod in response and ultimately nodding in response. "Very well. Time to wake up, Kazuma!"
The sleeping teenager involuntarily sucked in air as he was snapped out of his dozed state. Still somewhat groggy, he lifted his head up to find a...sultry woman straddling his own lap like it was her own private cushion.
"Wah-! Aqua, what the hell are you doing?!" Kazuma sputtered, squirming slightly under his girlfriend's gaze, suddenly fully awake. "Y-you know, typically you ask before you do something so intimate!"
"I could say the same thing to you when you used to steal women's panties," Aqua hummed, leaning closer in while relishing the fierce blush that coated her boyfriend's face. "I should know, you tried that same tactic on me once before. Remember how well that panned out~?"
"I-you-just because you're right, doesn't mean you're right, ok?!" Kazuma sputtered, flustered beyond belief as Aqua proceeded to giggle at his antics. "That's the last time I fall asleep near either of you in good conscience. Unbelievable."
"Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud, Kazzy!" Aqua playfully scolded as she got off Kazuma's lap and helped him get back up. "It's my job as your girlfriend to tease you relentlessly. That's a girl's way of showing that she likes you, and I like you! What's so strange about that?"
"Well...nothing, I guess." Kazuma relented, his cheeks quite flushed as he slowly smiled at his girlfriend. "And I like you a lot too, obviously. Just...why do you have to tease me so? I get enough of that from Megumin, and Darkness, and Chris…"
"Well, it sounds to me that somebody's still riding on their 'popular phase'." Aqua said using air quotes. "Also, you've been getting teased by Darkness? Oh, Kazzy, you are such a sweet little virgin. It's adorable, really."
"I-! That's not fair! I can't tease her back, or she'll just get turned on!" He tried to retort, crossing his arms and sparing Wiz a desperate look. "C'mon, Wiz, nothing to say in defense of me? I'm not really that bad, right?"
"Kazuma, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!" Wiz exclaimed with newfound vigor. She stood up and collapsed his hands, her expression serious but supportive. "You're still new to all this and that's ok! Nobody is truly an expert on love, it just takes a lot of practice, trust, and personal experience. So don't you ever put yourself down like that! You are loved and that's final!"
Kazuma blanked for a second, surprised with the usually shy lich's intensity...though not inherently displeased by it either. "Wow...thanks, Wiz. You're completely right, and I should probably take things one step at a time. It's...nice, being loved...or, knowing you are loved, I guess."
The undead woman smiled brightly, pulling Kazuma in for a quick hug, one that lasted a thousand life times for the sexually pent up young man.
How can a lich be this bouncy!?
Aqua rolled her eyes, waiting for her man to be released from boob jail before hounding on him. "Alright, enough stalling mister! Now that you've had time to decide, who do you say makes for the better lap pillow?"
Kazuma hummed in consideration, tilting his head back and forth as he weighed his answer. "I...really don't know if I can say for sure. You're both really, really comfortable, and I almost fell asleep in under a minute both times, so...I guess...a tie is in order?"
"Booooo. Cop-out," Aqua joked, snaking her arms around Kazuma's neck as she brought her face closer to his. "Guess I'll just have to bribe the judge with a goddess' kiss."
"You can sure as hell try to, Aqua," Kazuma replied, an inkling of confidence rising in his chest as a smile rose on his face. "You'd be wrong to doubt my integrity here. I don't plan on compromising, no matter the rewards for doing so."
Aqua didn't respond with words but rather actions. She pressed her lips onto Kazuma's, this time with the latter giving an honest attempt at kissing back. No longer was he going to just stand around like a dork and let his girlfriends do all the work in expressing their love. He was going to put his effort into this strange relationship or die of embarrassment while trying, damnit!
As the two lovers indulged in each other, Wiz sat awkwardly on the sidelines, not quite sure if she should turn away to allow the two a certain amount of privacy, or continue watching the...exchange before her. After all, Kazuma wasn't the only one who was sexually pent up.
Well, Wiz wouldn't have to make a decision for herself, as the lovers disengaged from their passion-sharing, both breathing audibly after all was said and done. "So...w-was it, uh, good for you then?" Kazuma asked awkwardly in between breaths.
"Oh, it was good. Very good~" Aqua confirmed, her breathing just as strained as her lover's. Her eyes fluttered dangerously, and for a moment it seemed like she just might lose herself to her lust. "You...are very, very lucky that we have company, Kazzy. If we didn't...well, this would be a lot more graphic, if you catch my drift?"
"Down, girl, down!" Kazuma chuckled. "Megumin already tried to fondle my ass and Dark almost slipped me some tongue in the heat of the moment. Last thing I need right now is a horny goddess chasing after me."
"To be fair, it wouldn't be a chase for long." Aqua cooed, before eventually reeling it in and giving Kazuma a bit more space, her small, confident smirk not dissipating as she continued. "So long as we're calming down, I think Wiz has something important to ask of you."
Shooting Aqua a curious look, Kazuma turned to face the girl in question. "Something on your mind, Wiz? We didn't make you uncomfortable back there, did we? Sorry about that, didn't mean to make you a third wheel…"
"It's...quite alright, I assure you." Wiz replied slowly, choosing her words carefully as she cleared her throat. "However, Lady Aqua is correct, I do have a matter to discuss with you...regarding our r-relationship."
That got Kazuma extremely worried. With the amount of deep-seated abandonment issues he had been harboring for years, his mind automatically assumed the worst. Still, he forced his fears back down and asked, "Oh? What, uh...heh-heh, wh-what about it?"
"I-It's nothing negative, I promise! No need to entertain such thoughts!" Wiz hastily explained, before wringing her hands, suddenly unable to look Kazuma in the eyes. "I just...well, I...goodness, this is harder than I expected…"
The shy lich stole a quick glance at Aqua, who nodded slowly and flashed her a quick thumbs up in encouragement. Breathing in, Wiz explained, "You see, it has to do with the way you view me as a part of your new family. I'm honored that you would consider me that close, truly, I am! However...I need to be honest: I'm not comfortable being seen as the 'aunt' in this relationship."
"...oh! Uh, ok then!" Kazuma replied, suddenly much less nervous. A little bit of discomfort over a title he'd mostly given as a joke wasn't anything too hard to solve. "I mean, what would you prefer? I gotta warn you though, Guardian Angel is already taken!"
"No, Kazuma, that's the thing. I don't prefer to be called anything else," Wiz elaborated, lightly touching the young man's shoulder. "I'd like it if you just viewed me as Wiz, like you've always had. No aunt or guardian angel, just Wiz. That's all I ask."
"Oh. I mean, sure, if that's what you want." Kazuma agreed, a bit surprised with the request but still maintaining a position of understanding. "I'm sorry if I upset you with the title? Honestly, it was mostly a joke, but if you prefer to be 'just Wiz', I can oblige."
Wiz smiled. "Thank you, Kazuma, for humoring this old woman. And again, I just can't thank you enough for welcoming me into your family. It's just so…" Wiz trailed off, gasping slightly as she did a small series of breathing exercises to prevent her emotions from getting the better of her.
"Hey, hey! Easy there, Wiz!" Kazuma insisted, immediately trying to comfort the undead woman after her apparent emotional overwhelming. "I'm more than happy to have you as a part of my family, I wouldn't have it any other way! You're part of this little crew, and it wouldn't be the same without you around. I promise."
Finally getting her act together, Wiz wiped her eyes and all but beamed at her crush. Never in her living life had she felt this happy before. "Thank you…"
"You don't need to thank me, Wiz. You even being willing to be a part of my family is...well, it's great." Kazuma admitted with a small chuckle. "Like I said before, we wouldn't be the same without you. So...are we better now?"
"Much better, yes." Wiz then gestured to the couch before them while asking, "So, would you care to join Lady Aqua and I over a cup of tea? We can talk about anything, really."
"Sure thing, I'd love too!" Kazuma confirmed, before turning to Aqua and sparing the goddess a curious look. "You alright with me sticking around a little longer? I know this all started because you and Wiz wanted to catch up…"
Aqua gave Kazuma a peck on the cheek before saying, "Go sit your cute butt down while I make you some tea. I promise to not purify it this time."
The rest of that afternoon was really nice, honestly. The three of us just chatted for a while, covering recent events in town and just generally relaxing. It was really nice to see Wiz so happy, too. She looked bright enough to give the sun a run for its money!
Anyway, we ended up talking for so long that by the time Wiz had to go, it was almost dinner! But Aqua worked her literal magic and whipped up another amazing meal in no time flat. She keeps that up and I may have to revoke her useless license. Actually...I think I'll still hold on to it in case she gets too big for her britches (which is often).
The next day, I somehow managed to get roped into a helluva scheme by the two people I expected it from the least...well, excluding Luna, but that's neither here nor there. Point is, Wolbach and Sena, through some amount of luck to rival my own, managed to talk me into going to see a play. So...you can imagine how that went.
"So, uh, what did you say this play was again?" Kazuma asked Sena as he sat in between her and Wolbach, unintentionally serving as a barrier for the two...what were they exactly, rivals? "Something about it being a political drama or something?"
"Precisely, yes. A political drama referring back to the Belzergian Revolution." Sena confirmed, smiling pleasantly at her current roommate (and lowkey crush). "I can assure you, it won't all be shouting and technical babble. I hear there is a fair share of action as well!"
"Well, considering I know next to nothing about this kingdom's history, this should make for some...interesting worldbuilding," Kazuma admitted. He turned to the cloaked demon general on his right and asked, "Say, 'Bach, you've seen this play like this before, right? How historically accurate is it?"
"I'd say...it's around a fifty/fifty split." Wolbach replied with a small smirk, clearly amused by the small huff that was expelled by the former prosecutor on the other side. "The political aspects are obviously overdrawn, far too many speeches that either didn't happen or weren't quite as compelling. As for the violence...I'd say most of it is watered down. The Revolutions were a very, very bloody period of time, after all."
"Oh yeah, I sometimes forget you and Aqua have been around to see it all," Kazuma said as his gaze fell to the giant red curtain in front of him with all the patrons below talking amongst themselves. "Y'know, I just realized, I've never really been to a play before. I imagine it's a lot different than going to see a movie."
"A...movie?" Sena repeated slowly, quirking an eyebrow and shooting Kazuma a curious look. "I assume that's some form of entertainment you have in Japan, then, similar to this? Similar enough, anyways."
Kazuma scratched his head as he tried to figure out a way to explain what a movie was in a way she could understand. "Um...yeah, you could even go as far as to say movies are like an evolution of plays. You know those magical photo-taking devices you guys have? Imagine that, but instead of taking a still photo, it records everything that happens in front of it. Then, imagine using that to record actors in a scene, edit in some special effects you otherwise couldn't do in real time, and there ya go: you've got a movie that you can watch at any time. Even at home!"
"That...sounds absolutely, positively insane, you do realize that, yes?" Wolbach interjected, earning a stern look from Kazuma in response, sparking a short chuckle from the goddess. "However, with everything else you've told us about this homeland of yours, I suppose it's pretty par for the course."
"Yeah, well, when you live in a land without magic, you kinda have to invent your own magic," Kazuma snarked back, letting the soft padding of his seat take him away. "Feel me?"
"Yes, I believe I do, 'feel you'." Wolbach agreed, humming pleasantly as she laced her hands together, keeping her tone light. "I also know a fair amount about inventing your own magic, or at the very least making use of tools you shouldn't have."
"Yes, you would know a fair deal about dabbling in arts better left alone, wouldn't you?" Sena subtly, not so subtly, asked out loud. Wolbach returned the favor by subtly, not so subtly, glaring daggers at the ex-prosecutor.
Kazuma, naturally, sat in the middle of the glare off, now sufficiently uncomfortable. Still, there had to be a way to diffuse the situation, at least enough so that they'd actually be able to watch the damn play!
"Anyway, thanks for reserving these great seats, Sena!" Kazuma blurted, satisfied enough with his random little diversion. "But you know I could've paid for these myself, right? You didn't have to waste your money on us like that."
"Well, I figured it was only fair that I paid, given the kindness you offered me as of late." Sena replied, her tension diminishing slightly as she fixed Kazuma with another smile. "A few tickets are more than worth you offering me both shelter and for being so forgiving towards me after our past indiscretions."
"Well, you still deserve thanks since it was such a nice gesture. So thanks...again." Kazuma replied politely, before turning to the dark goddess and fixing her with a curious look. "If you don't mind me asking, 'Bach, why did you ask to come with? You didn't strike me as the play type."
From underneath her hood, Wolbach eyed the curious lad before deflecting with, "What gave you that impression, hm? I happen to enjoy plays."
"Oh, do you? Well, by all means, enlighten me," Kazuma hummed, a smile growing a touch more smug as he tilted his head condescendingly. "What's your personal favorite play and why?"
"The Shattered Mask," Wolbach answered without skipping a beat. "It tells the story of a man who has everything he could ever want yet he still feels unfulfilled in life. Upon coming into contact with a jester mask imbued with magic, he wears it as a means to force his true self out but he gradually finds that his true self is miserable and unhappy. The play is a tragedy so you can imagine how it ends."
"Huh. Sounds like a bummer, yeah." Kazuma admitted, before shrugging his shoulders loosely. "Still, I'm not one to question tastes. May not be my style, but if you like it, I can't fault you, can I?"
Wolbach offered Kazuma a small but genuine smile, something few if any have ever seen from the efficient killing machine. "That's a very mature assessment, Kazuma, one I can appreciate. Still, tragedies may be my preferred genre, but they're not the only I like. I happen to like comedies as well, so long as they are written competently."
"Really? Now that actually is a surprise to me." Kazuma stated, his smile growing in surprise. "Didn't think comedy would be on the list of your preferences."
"There's a lot you don't know about me, and a lot I don't know about you as well," Wolbach replied. "But who knows? Perhaps, over time, we'll get to know each other better. After all, I am a part of this little 'family' of yours, am I not?"
"That you are, and I'd really like that." Kazuma replied pleasantly, before the surrounding lights dimmed slightly and he turned his attention to the stage. "Oh, looks like the play is starting up. Guess we should quiet down for now, huh?"
The two ladies accompanying him both hummed in agreement as the rest of the audience piped down as well. A spotlight from some type of magic light orb shined on center stage as a well-dressed man stepped out from the curtains. He served as the narrator of the play, relaying the prologue for the fictional story taking place in the political drama while providing some essential historical context for the uneducated (which Kazuma considered himself in this particular scenario). The audience clapped once the man finished and the curtains opened, signaling the start of the play.
For the first half hour of the play Kazuma found himself drifting in and out of focus when it came to the performance. It was interesting enough, actually, but every now and again Sena would shift or move, momentarily distracting him. Once, she even moved her arm, resulting in her hand falling atop his own. He glanced at her in surprise, and a second later the hand disappeared followed by a muttered apology, which he chuckled at slightly. Sena's cheeks were a dark shade of crimson, so she had to have been quite embarrassed over such a simple accident.
Unbeknownst to them, however, Wolbach was smirking deviously at Sena's laughable attempts to court the foreigner. She'd already seen this play before and found more amusement in watching the 'show' that was taking place right beside her. Sena and Kazuma's awkward little exchanges were proving to be one of the best unintentional comedies she had seen yet.
Eventually, after the play reached its halfway point, the intermission started and the crowd's idle chatter started back up again, with a few people even getting up to walk around a little and get their blood flowing before returning to their seats for the rest of their performance. Kazuma, naturally, was one of them, taking the intermission as an excuse to use the bathroom.
The moment Kazuma was out of earshot, Wolbach finally allowed herself a small chuckle, one that didn't go unnoticed by Sena, who glared suspiciously at the demonic goddess. "Something amusing, Lady Wolbach?"
"Oh, just a little bit, prosecutor." Wolbach confirmed, sparing the human woman an all too entertained look. "Just your attempts at wooing Satou. Far more entertaining than the show on stage, I can assure you."
Sena practically choked on her words, causing Wolbach to laugh out loud at her reaction. The former royal prosecutor regained her ability to speak while still trying to find her composure again. "That - I - how dare…! Are all of the Devil King's generals as infuriating as you!?"
"No, no. I can assure you, the majority are far less tolerable." She chuckled evilly, before offering a slightly less amused look as she spoke her next word. "Truly, Ms. Sena, I would have to recommend changing tactics if you are attempting to seduce Satou. Goodness, even I could do better than holding his hand."
"Oh could you now?" Sena gasped mockingly before staring Wolbach down. "I may not know much about you personally, but I know your type: single, unapproachable, dedicated to your work. I'm willing to bet you're just as inexperienced as me when it comes to workplace romance. How many relationships have you had while you were still in service with the Devil King?"
Wolbach blanched visibly at that, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she untimely huffed, turning away and crossing her arms. "If you must know, none. I've...never had a significant relationship, actually. Demon General's aren't known for being particularly approachable, after all."
"I had a sneaking feeling," Sena hummed in satisfaction. "So I'd appreciate it if you could be civil about this and refrain from mocking my lack of experience, unless of course you can prove to me that you can, in fact, do better."
There was a beat of silence, one that made Sena consider the possibility that she'd manage to momentarily shut Wolbach up. However, a second later, Wolbach's gaze returned to her, eyes shining deviously as a devilish smile grew on her face. Her next words were measured and terrifyingly confident.
"Is that a challenge, Ms. Sena?"
That made the human woman's skin crawl. Before she could even think of a response, Kazuma had conveniently returned from his bathroom run, unceremoniously planting himself in between the two ladies once more.
"Good, I didn't miss the play continuing," he said pleasantly to himself. "And I see you two haven't ripped each other to shreds while I was gone, so that's double good. Hey, you feeling alright Sena? You look a little...pale?"
"I'm...quite alright." Sena managed, shaking her head and composing herself, offering Kazuma a kind smile while attempting to calm her nerves. Wolbach was probably just trying to get in her head, mess with her and such. "Just felt a little chill, that's all."
Taking her white lie at face value, Kazuma simply shrugged as the lights dimmed once more and the play picked up where it left off. For a while, the three reserved themselves to watch the production, with Kazuma in particular glued to his seat when the well-choreographed action scenes finally came up. Sena couldn't help but sneak a quick glance at Wolbach, her eyes widening in horror as that was apparently the moment where the goddess decided to make her move.
Gradually, the dark goddess leaned against Kazuma, resting her head on his shoulder. He glanced at her, clearly surprised with the action, only to find her yawning in response. "Apologies, I'm feeling a bit tired. You don't mind if I just..?"
"Oh, uh, sure, go ahead. I don't really mind," Kazuma mumbled to her. "This play is getting kinda drawn out, anyway."
Wolbach just hummed in agreement, before settling in further and closing her eyes. Kazuma resumed watching the play, but Sena couldn't bring herself to, gawking at what had just occurred. That crafty demon had just pulled a better move than she could even consider, and Kazuma couldn't seem to care less!
Feeling an overwhelming urge of jealousy, Sena chose to employ the same tactic as well, gradually leaning herself against Kazuma. However, she instantly regretted her brash choice of action as Kazuma found himself a little more alarmed with her doing it compared to someone ironically more close to him.
"You, uh, you tired too?" He asked carefully, which Sena hastily nodded and sparked a quiet laugh from the young man. "Well, alright. I suppose being your personal pillow for the next thirty minutes isn't the worst fate I can imagine."
With a strained giggle, the ex-prosecutor forced her body to relax so as to not make Kazuma uncomfortable. While most of his attention had been directed back to the production, Sena eyed the other woman occupying Kazuma's right side. She too was eyeing her, albeit with a smug smirk plastered on her face.
And so the group sat for the rest of the play. Surprisingly, Kazuma didn't seem terribly bothered by either of the girls' heads resting on his shoulders, apparently getting quite invested in the play. Meanwhile, Sena and Wolbach both found themselves becoming legitimately tired, drifting closer and closer to sleep as the play continued to drag.
Both were soon jolted awake, however, by the thunderous applause from the audience below. They removed themselves from Kazuma's shoulders to allow him to clap along with the audience. As for Sena and Wolbach, the two simply yawned and stretched out the pins and needles they had acquired from falling half-asleep in such an awkward position.
"Well, I'll be damned. That was actually a pretty damn good show!" Kazuma admitted jovially, stretching as the crowd gradually started to stand up and dissipate. "It dragged a bit here and there, but all in all, I'd say it was worth it. Thanks again, Sena!"
"Hm? Oh, ah, yes, you're quite welcome Kazuma," Sena mumbled, blushing slightly as the group walked out of the theater. "It was a pleasure just having you around to see it with me."
"Well, the pleasure was all mine." Kazuma assured her with a small smile, before supporting Wolbach after she stumbled slightly. "Woah, easy there, 'Bach! You alright?"
"Yes, I'm alright. I think I almost tripped, that's all," Wolbach answered back. Sena was immediately on guard as she couldn't see anything that could be considered a trip hazard. "Still, I appreciate the concern, Kazuma. And here I thought every male adventurer was an inconsiderate meathead. But not you, of course."
"Thanks, I guess?" Kazuma replied, chuckling a bit at the compliment. It was certainly not treatment he received from the dark goddess often. "I used to be quite the ass, but I've come a long way. Guess I just gotta keep up the good behavior, right?"
At this point, Sena had had enough of this. She was about to do...something (she didn't really know what) when she suddenly found herself face to face with the ground. She had been so preoccupied with Kazuma and Wolbach that she hadn't been looking where she was going and tripped on a slightly elevated stone panel on the walkway.
"Sena! You ok?" Kazuma immediately asked, doubling back almost instantly and kneeling to help the poor woman back to her feet, grabbing her discarded glasses as he did so and offering them back to her. "That was quite the tumble, you gotta be more careful. I don't want you getting hurt because you're a little tired, you know!"
Embarrassed beyond belief (but also feeling greatly appreciated at the same time), Sena blushed and nodded meekly, accepting her glasses from Kazuma. The young man then proceeded to assist hoisting her up off the ground, wrapping his arm around hers as a safety precaution. This made the woman's heart race a mile a minute, and she discreetly wiped her nose from the blood that was suddenly trickling down from it.
"Alright, I'm gonna be with you every step of the way home, promise." Kazuma assured her, looking quite serious as he sized Sena up, as if still scanning her for injuries. "You ready to get moving, Sena?"
"...y-yeah…" was all she could squeak out before Kazuma led the way back to their mansion. Sena glanced at Wolbach, who had her arms crossed and an oddly satisfied smirk adorning her features.
It took around another half hour for the three to return back to the mansion, after which Wolbach was "polite" enough to take over for Kazuma as he went to talk to the girls, leaving the dark goddess and former prosecutor to stumble back to her room in an almost tense silence that Sena eventually broke.
"Well...that was certainly an...interesting day out," she spoke plainly. "Also...thank you for escorting me to my room. I will take it from here."
"Very well, if you're certain." Wolbach relented, releasing the woman and letting her take a few uncertain steps, before gradually straightening out. "Tonight was quite the night, wasn't it? Believe it or not, I actually did end up enjoying myself, and I'm fairly certain you did as well."
"I can concur with that, yes," Sena admitted. However, she was quick to cross her arms and huffed, "Aside from your insufferable behavior, of course. I'll still be keeping a watchful eye on you, General. I may no longer be the royal prosecutor but I will have you reported the second you do anything treacherous."
"I'd expect nothing less, Ms. Sena." Wolbach replied with a slight laugh, though for once it didn't quite seem to reach her eyes, which seemed to dull slightly as the goddess considered her words carefully. "However little it will assure you, I'd like you to know that I am trying to be better, truly. I may have my own reasons for doing so, but malicious they are not."
Conflicted, Sena weighed her words carefully before speaking once more. "I don't know what Kazuma, Megumin, or the others see in you, but I suppose it can't be all bad if they've included you in their family dynamic. So...I will make an attempt to put some amount of trust into you as well, Wolbach. I only hope you don't disappoint me or them."
"I will certainly try my hardest not too, I can promise you that much." Wolbach replied, her tone surprisingly genuine in that moment, leaving Sena further surprised. Maybe the demon wasn't as bad as she seemed. Still, the consideration waived slightly as the smile returned to Wolbach's face, her next words almost sounding impressed. "Congratulations, by the way. You managed to one-up me on the way home, and all it cost was a sliver of your pride. I'm impressed."
"Piss off!" Sena growled before slamming the door to her shut. Unfortunately for her, it did very little in the way of muffling the bellowing laughter from Wolbach on the other side. Oh how she despised that demon…
Whatever had Wolbach cackling that night, she sure as hell didn't let me in on the joke the next morning. Still, judging the glare that Sena was shooting her all morning, I can put two-and-two together. Those two have managed to start up quite the rivalry, that's for damn sure.
So yeah, things have definitely changed ever since I started dating my own party. Mostly for the better, I think. I've never felt this close to the girls, or anyone at all for that matter. God, how did I go all my life up until now as an isolated hermit? Now I feel as though I could die without these women. As cheesy as it is, they've...helped me become stronger as a person I feel. They're my rock, my support group, and most important of all, my family. I love them to pieces.