Ace actually does fall asleep, which is surprising to him. Someone wakes him up, because it's almost time for lunch, and Ace is actually quite surprised by how well-rested he feels. He hasn't had such a good nap in a while.

Now he's in a great mood.

So he stands up, eager to get some food (he skipped breakfast. He's famished,) from the galley when he realizes Marco is frowning down at him.

"Izo and Thatch told me you were acting weird."

(Huh? Didn't Ace ask to be woken up when Marco was out of his meeting so he could get the Commander update of whatever went down? Or was that part of his dream as well? Whatever then.)

"Well you see, Marco," he starts spinning the tale, "I just had this really weird dream, and it's been making me lose sleep all the time. In it, your hair is a literal pineapple, and Thatch's head is literally bread, and ouch OUCH THAT REALLY HURTS I'M SORRY PLEASE STOP"

Marco releases him from the noogie of doom, pinning him with a glare that promised a real skull-drilling if he continued being obnoxious.

And Ace has to admit, big brothers are kinda very scary sometimes. Makes sense why Luffy would listen to him.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Except I'm hungry enough to eat the ship," Ace dismisses again, because if there's something he doesn't fear, it is death, "see ya in the galley, bye."

And he phases away in a wisp of flames, to Marco's indignant squawk of "hey ACE! This conversation isn't over!"

Ace opens the galley door and declares, "Thatch, got any food left for me?" while pretending that Marco isn't already right behind him with eyes that promised murder.

"Oh, Ace! You're finally awake?" Thatch looks over in the midst of tossing fried rice in a large wok. "Geez Marco, warn me! I'll make something, so just sit there."

"Yay! Thanks, Thatch!"

"I did warn you. You just didn't hear me."

They settle at the table, where a few of the other night shift takers and infirmary staff are having brunch. The only team on the ship that doesn't seem to ever get breaks seem to be the cooks… but anyways.

"Anyways Ace, you didn't wake up so here's the update on the situation," Marco says, deciding he would drag the teen to the infirmary for a checkup on his narcolepsy episode, but only after the meal.

"About what?"

"We've got a guest on board. All commanders on standby until Aladine shows up tomorrow," Marco says, ignoring the question on the assumption that Ace's brain will catch up to his mouth. He keeps the next order short and simple and very stern-- "Do not engage, he's trustworthy. Nami sent him."

Ace squints. "So we've got an intruder?"

(His brain did not catch up with his mouth. In fact, his ears are apparently offline too. )

"You didn't listen to anything I just said."

"Yeah I didn't, I'm too hungry I can't hear you."

"That is not a mutually exclusive sense-- Thatch, don't spoil him!" Marco snaps when Thatch gleefully sets down two large plates of spaghetti, effectively interrupting the conversation and turning all Ace's concentration out the window.

Thatch, because he's such a nice brother, sets down another plate of food for Marco, humming to himself as if he can't hear a thing. Seriously, are they both doing this on purpose to drive Marco out of his mind?

"Thanks for the food!"

"Ace, LISTEN TO ME!"

Marco groans. Why does he have to suffer like this?

He does relent, however, and turns to his meal. He was planning on spending the rest of his afternoon doing paperwork, so an early lunch would do him some good anyways.

As long as everyone else behaves, it should be peaceful until Aladine arrives.

Marco spoke (thought?) too soon.

Because almost immediately after they were done with their meal, the Revolutionary walks into the galley with Izo, who was in charge of guiding him around.

(He has a guide, because they weren't going to leave a guest unsupervised, after all.)

And that's when Ace dramatically chokes on his food and proceeds to scare the living daylights out of everyone by almost dying.

He recovers, though, (probably because he's a fire Logia,) and he points at the Revolutionary, who confusedly points back at himself, waiting for Ace to say something.

Ace, as much of a fluster as he's in, struggles.

"Wha-- I- Wait. You-- Ma- M- Are you--" he struggles very hard , looking everywhere like he deserves an explanation for this bullshit. Eventually he yells something wordless in an attempt to release his frustrations.

The Revolutionary provides a very unimpressed look.

"Please," he says, gesturing in a very sarcastic and pompous manner just to be a dick, "take your time."

Marco stifles a laugh. Izo shrugs with a contented sigh.

Then in an attempt to avoid conflict, Marco reminds Ace loudly, "that's our ship guest. From the Revolutionary Army, if you forgot. He's not an enemy so get along now."

Ace looks away. Then he stares at the Revolutionary again.

"Oh fuck Marco," Ace says, ignoring the distant Haruta who chirps up with 'go ahead we're waiting' , and Thatch that pipes up with 'not in the galley you aren't', to which Marco insists it is 'metaphorically you sick fucks', Ace rubs his eyes, "I think I do need that checkup. I'm still hallucinating."

"I am very glad you are volunteering, Ace, that is almost so unheard of I already know you've gone crazy," Marco says, sipping on his coffee just as Thatch drops it before him. "But if you're hallucinating, please-- do tell me what you see. Haruta is very interested in getting blackmail material."

Haruta has already moved closer, almost right beside them at this point. His eyes are glinting with the inspiration of a new hot piece of news to scream and spread to the entirety of every ship in their alliance.

The Revolutionary just stands there, looking very uncomfortable with the situation.

Izo, deciding this was entertaining, just chuckles as he brings around a cup of tea for himself and their guest.

Ace starts, almost too seriously.

Without even looking up at the Revolutionary another time, even-- "I'm seeing an idiot dressed like a noble in this godforsaken heat. Stupid tail coat looking thing. And he's got a top hat. There are goggles on it because his fashion sense is fucking terrible."

"Excuse you?! You have emoticon badges on your hat!" the Revolutionary retorts, very offended. "And at least I wear clothes!"

"And he's got a pipe on his back," Ace adds smoothly, because pretending not to hear is clearly the running gag of today with the Whitebeard Pirates. "Don't laugh, but this noble-looking guy in a cravat and gloves uses a pipe as a weapon."

"Is he picking a fight?" Sabo asks Izo, exasperated at this point. His free hand feels incredibly testy, itching very close to his pipe. "Can I take it?"

The roaring laughter in the galley is answer enough.

Sabo almost empathizes with his friends back in the Revolutionary that has to put up with his own shit every day. He's going to treat them to a meal when he gets back.

"Well unfortunately, Ace," Marco tiredly gives his diagnosis, "we're all seeing the same thing. And he's taller than you."

Ace's jaw drops. "So I am seeing Sabo on the Moby Dick?"

Marco sighs, "yes, you are--" he freezes, lifting his head.

At the same time, Sabo's hand stiffens around the teacup. The air immediately goes cold in the galley as the words sink in-- and even Izo has his eyes widened in surprise.

Ace doesn't seem to realize what he'd done just yet, so he just stares blankly, still trying to figure out if this is a trick of the light, a devil fruit, or another quirk of the Grand Line.

"Hold on, Ace--" Izo speaks first, trying to speak some sense into this still not-so-lucid brother of theirs. "--how did you know his name?"

As confidential as revolutionary activities are, his identity was to be kept quiet unless necessary. All they had to know was that he was a representative, after all. The only people that Sabo had properly introduced himself to are Pops and Marco-- and Izo, who asked after building up a short friendship as guide and guest.

Ace blinks.

"Because he's the spirit of my dead brother that I'm hallucinating?" he says, like it's obvious. He doesn't notice everyone's gobsmacked expressions, he just leans in to observe Sabo closely. "He died seven years ago and we never found his body. First time he's shown up as an adult though. And the scar is new."

He looks around, finally realizing that they're all staring at him, stunned.

"What?" he has the oblivious gall to ask.

Marco raises a hand, "Ace," he says, very very patiently, "that is not a hallucination," he explains, slowly. "It is an actual human being."

Ace takes a moment for that to sink in.

Then Sabo, looking very pale, nods. "Uhm," he says, "yeah, I am a real person." Then he sets his hand on Ace's shoulder, just to prove that he's a physical figure and he can use Haki, because he's touching Ace without phasing through the flames.

Ace's jaw drops.

"Huh?" he yells, looking at Marco. "Wait, what the hell does this mean?"

They sit down, Ace opposite of Sabo-- and every other commander flanking their situation in complete awe. Mainly because they have no idea what was going on here and Ace acting like he was a civil human being by sitting down and having a serious conversation was a thing you only see once in a blue moon.

"Alright, so you're an amnesiac."

"This is far more than our protocols allow me to reveal, but yes, I am."

"And you were recruited in East Blue."

"Yes, that is what I said."

"Goa Kingdom?"

"I believe it was around that area, yes."

Marco was going to give Sabo a checkup if he had to-- amnesia was always one of the most delicate of medical conditions, after all. It interested him, as far as a doctor's instinct went. Now if only this guy was a crew member instead of a guest he wasn't supposed to touch…

"So, what's the conclusion, Ace?" Marco prompts, because they were questioning him just to get things straight, after all.

Just making sure if Ace needed a counselling session about grief and mourning, too.

He hadn't told anyone about hallucinations before-- granted, he had a right to his own past, but still, if this temper-ridden brother of theirs had mental difficulties, they would have helped.

Everyone had occasional counselling sessions for various trauma on this ship, and Ace definitely needed some.

(Come to think of it, he could ask Deuce. He probably has old medical records.)

"Well, the story lines up," Ace says, looking a little conflicted. "There's a very high chance you are the Sabo I know."

Sabo shrugs at that.

He wouldn't know for sure, after all. And even if he did, it would be awkward to suddenly try and restimulate their old relationship while he doesn't remember a thing.

(Brothers, he called it? But there's no way a D would be a noble. Maybe Sabo just looked uncannily similar in appearance and personality and that was it. Things like these do happen in the world sometimes, it's not impossible.)

((Somewhere, Tashigi sneezes.))

Ace had a very important question, though.

"First of all," he says, raising a finger, " what was Dragon doing there?"

Sabo blinks. "That's classified information, but I believe we recruited a lot of members around the same time," he says. "I wouldn't know, since it's before I joined."

Ace purses his lips.

"I'm gonna guess they found your name written on your belongings," he says. "And they were clothing that looked like noble clothing, which is why you still retained your clusterfuck fashion sense from then."

"I'm starting to think you're deliberately issuing a declaration of war, but I will give you the benefit of doubt," Sabo says, his calmness finally showing a tear of irritation.

Ace nods, like an obnoxious piece of shit.

"And what about the hat?" he asks. "It's really weird you have the same hat."

Sabo had to think about that. "Well, someone just gave it to me one day. They mentioned I had something like it before that they couldn't retrieve… The goggles were just an impulsive addition one day. Is this interrogation over yet?"

Ace squints at the vague answer. But whatever, that's enough. "So you don't remember anything about your life before then?" he asks.

Sabo nods in annoyance. It's the third time he's asked and answered this specific question. "Nothing except for the fact that I did not want to go back ever again."

Ace nods sagely. "Yeah, that place was a shithole, so that makes sense," he acknowledges. "Speaking of which. Can I borrow your pipe?"

Sabo backs away, a little put off. "The pipe? Unfortunately, it is important to me, so I'm not comfortable with someone else holding it," he admits, in an almost admirably polite manner.

"Understandable," Ace hums. He reaches over and grabs one of the practice bo staves that Haruta carries around but never uses. "This will do, then. I'll borrow this for a second."

Haruta doesn't really get a chance to say no, unlike Sabo. "Ah yeah. Sure? What are you using it for?"

Instead of answering, Ace stands up. He rolls his shoulders and cracks a few knuckles.

"Nothing much, it's been a while since I used a weapon of any sort, so I'm a bit out of practice."

Then, he swings straight down toward Sabo's head, without any warning.

The Revolutionary dodges, but the weapon shatters the table right into the floor, splintering the wood into innumerable pieces.

The Whitebeard Commanders' response is immediate.

"Hey! Ace, dammit! I said he's a guest!"

"Someone stop Ace!"

"Ace, you know your division is paying for the table, right?"

"The table! Are you trying to kill him, Ace?!"

Ace tuts. "Don't dodge!" He yells, like the guy was obviously supposed to stay there and get brain damage. "You're an amnesiac, so one good hit on the head should make you remember everything! Be a man and take it!"

"That is NOT how it works!" Marco and Sabo yell synchronously, shark-teethed in sheer exasperation.

"Restrain him! He's an idiot!"

"Why did you give him the weapon, Haruta?!"

"I underestimated his stupidity! I regret it now I promise!"

"Ace! Stop trying to kill the guest! ACE!"

Whitebeard and Whitey Bay walk into the galley, greeted by a situation that could only be described as utter chaos. Ace is blindly swinging a bo staff in the general direction of their guest. Rakuyo and Vista are holding him back, while Haruta frantically tries to retrieve the staff without getting hit. He isn't succeeding.

Marco looks like he's experiencing an aneurysm, and Thatch is mourning over the broken furniture with Jozu. Izo is standing beside the Revolutionary in a placating manner, and Sabo had his own pipe held before him, preparing to fight.

"I want some sake with my meal today," Whitebeard says, casually making his way toward the largest table.

Whitey simply nods. "Yeah, I'd like some too."

Even for Zoro, watching Nami get her arm replaced was difficult.

It was like being made to sit there and see someone plunge a knife into her stomach, slowly gouging out her organs as she tries her best not to scream.

If he was a lesser man, he'd turn away, nauseated.

But Zoro looks on, eyes hardened and taking in every detail he could, listening closely as Crocus told him the little things about it.

Nami lay on the bed, resting on her stomach without her shirt on.

"It's important she doesn't move when I do this part, so strap her down if you need to," he says, and that unsettling calmness in his voice really made Zoro think again on the mental strength required for a doctor. "Do it in one quick move. Double back and it might loosen in the long run."

Even Zoro had to flinch when Nami whimpered, biting harshly into the base of her thumb to stifle her own voice. Crocus had wrenched a particularly tight screw in the center of her shoulder blade, and it was obviously the worst bit of the whole process.

And just like that-- it was over.

She takes a deep breath, and it's the most exhausted Zoro has ever seen her. No-- exhausted wouldn't be the accurate term. Exerted, perhaps.

She took a long breath-- and held it for five seconds, before letting it out. She opens her eyes slowly, raising her metal arm again, curling and uncurling the fingers carefully.

"All good?" Crocus asks.

Nami rolls her shoulder, making a noise akin to a stretching cat in daylight. She sighs contentedly, getting up (making sure the blanket covers her chest,) and she pulls her feet over the edge of the bed so they would rest on the floor.

"Man, these Heat models are so heavy!" she says. They were made to be much more durable, after all. "But yes, it's perfect as always. You always know just how to perfectly screw them, don't ya?"

(She gives Zoro a smile. He immediately catches the combined look to her top, and he turns away so Nami could get her shirt on again.)

(Oh, Sanji cannot know of this.)

"I've had a ton of years more experience than any other doctor out there, of course I do," Crocus says, almost offended. He then turns to Zoro, "it's delicate, don't break the arm trying to fit a screw in, got it?"

Zoro is not confident he can do that. Why didn't Nami just ask Usopp instead-- oh.

Zoro doesn't really get why he has to be the one in charge of this. In the trust scale, Nami definitely has Usopp in first place. Of course, Luffy is up there too, but not for things like these. So if Usopp is out because of his blindness, Zoro doesn't get why Nami asks him instead of Sanji or Gin.

Sure, one of them is a womanizer and the other was a… alright nevermind about that. But either of them would definitely be more delicate with something as important as a girl's arm.

(In hindsight, maybe it's exactly because they would be more careful with it.)

(Nami doesn't want them to hesitate, not even for a second. She wasn't that weak-- and Zoro definitely can see that. And she needed someone like that around.)

Nami had entrusted him with the role of keeping her in action. Without her arm, she couldn't do a thing-- and here she was, entrusting Zoro with the most important part of her physical being.

It's just like stepping onto this ship and having Luffy call you one of his-- here was a comrade, declaring her wholehearted, selfless trust in him.

Zoro understood how important it was.

"It's better to do both prosthetics at once, just to get it over with," Crocus wipes away the sweat at his brows, crouching down to Nami's feet and raising her metal foot onto a stool. "But if you do it one after the other… well, it turns into psychological warfare."

"Wait wait wait Crocus," Nami says, her voice sounding strained, tired, and her smile an incredible effort forced out of her features. She was clutching a pillow to her chest with her flesh hand, so tightly the fingers were going white, "please give me a five minute's break. Or three. Two will be fine please just give me a second."

Crocus gestures at her complaining spiel, as if proving his point on the situation.

Zoro has never seen Nami like this. It's very refreshing to know that Nami is, dare he say, actually scared of something.

Then Crocus flexes his hands. "Okay your second is up. Time for your foot."

"No please just WAIT."

"The foot is a lot more delicate, since it starts at the ankle," Crocus starts explaining, like Nami isn't freaking out at the moment. "You start here when you detach it…"

Zoro suddenly realizes the startlingly obvious reason why Nami didn't ask Sanji to do this for her.

"Sure, they can come with," Luffy says, to the utter despair of Gin.

After an intense session of begging to be taken along for the ride, Miss Wednesday and Mister Nine were allowed to board the Going Merry until Whiskey Peak.

"You cannot be serious, Luffy," Gin says, exasperated. "They're obviously plotting something."

He pointedly does not mention how Usopp had already told him their next destination would be Whiskey Peak regardless, as per Nami's orders.

He just doesn't like the idea of intruders coming onboard, free for all. He knows this next part is the hardest part of the beginning-- the adaptation-- so he wants as little interference as possible, especially not from people they can't trust.

"It's along the way, right? Same thing," Luffy says. "And Nami did steal their stuff."

Gin scoffs at the two agents. "It's your own fault if you get stolen from."

"Ah, you're right," Luffy acknowledges. He's got bandit in his upbringing, after all, he definitely knows the law of dog eat dog out here.

"Plus, they're not even telling us where the hell they're from," Gin says. They had vehemently insisted that their organisation was mystery coded , "what if they're leading us back to their base of operations?"

No one misses the way they both stiffen up in panic.

"Isn't it fine, we can come back around if we don't like the way," Luffy says. He then makes a very great point, that "it's better than leaving them here with Whale, too."

(Ah, that's right-- they're trying to kill the whale, aren't they? That throws a wrench into everything.)

Sanji doesn't really care about that though. "Well, I don't mind bringing Dear Miss Wednesday with us. The male species with you can find some other way around."

"Please bring me along too! I beg you!"

"If leaving them with the whale is a problem, can't we just drown them right now?" Gin suggests, entirely serious in his decision to find the simplest solution to this problem. Heck, it doesn't even need to be so complicated-- why was this taking so long? "I'll go get my tonfas. I haven't used them in a while."

Panicked screaming ensues.

Finally tired by the endless debating, Usopp sighs. "What will happen if we leave you here?" he asks, directing his question toward the two agents. "Back to the top with you-- why are you so desperate to get out of here?"

He isn't particularly asking that because he wants to know, of course.

Evidently, it's because they want to get their mission done and go report back to their boss immediately. They'd be deemed failures and executed if things stayed as they are, so they need to hurry, and get a letter out to the Boss and make up for their mistake somehow.

(To put it simply-- they just fear for their lives.)

"That explosion just now-- hmm," Usopp leans into Kinoko for a second, and the bird coos in response. A little behaviour reading can go a long way with a bird you've known all her life, so he gathers that, "two predators? One of them is a big bird. You acted like you knew them, so it was an expected attack."

They stiffen.

They had been far enough that the Strawhats didn't see them when the Unluckies blew them up-- but Kinoko had definitely reported back on the situation.

"I knew that bird was spying on us!" Miss Wednesday hisses sharply to Mister Nine.

"Y-y-y- You can speak bird?!"

Usopp doesn't answer that question. "I'm thinking you had a mission to do. Kill the whale, probably."

It's an obvious conclusion from everything so far. But to the two agents who had no idea they weren't being subtle, it was a jaw-dropping moment of shock.

"And you failed," another obvious conclusion that earns him a gasp, "so your oh-so mysterious organisation sent some cleanup crew to check if you've done the deed. But you haven't, hence they tried to kill you. They might try again, so you want us to give you a ride, so you can get away from here."

Simultaneously, Sanji and Luffy gawk in disgusted realization.

Like 'how could you?' but in more dramatically betrayed sentiments than anything actually serious.

"You guys got blown up by a bird?" Luffy offers his very important opinion, and that's simply, "are you guys idiots?"

Kinoko gives him a very pointed look. She does not remind him of the many times Luffy has lost a random duel against her. She is not that petty, after all. Definitely not.

(The next moment brings them to the other corner of the cape, where Luffy yells loudly at the bird, who squawks back passionately in response. They race to the top of Laboon and down, but can't decide on who won. Laboon says something, but in the unintelligible language of old island whales that none of them can quite decipher.)

Sanji pulls off a very unimpressed, disappointed look at the two agents. "What's with the 'our organisation's motto is mystery' thing, you're both gonna get killed by that very same organisation, you shithead," he hisses at Mister Nine, quickly changing gears to clarify that "of course you're fine, Miss Wednesday, I didn't mean you."

"Wha-- don't insult us!" Mister Nine snaps.

"I'm only insulting you, not both of you."

"The Unluckies didn't finish the job-- we were spared! That means we're getting a second chance, we can't fail to lead you guys to our base now--" his voice dies out and Miss Wednesday shrieks.

"Mister Nine, SHUSH!" but it was too late.

"Oh, so it was a trap," Luffy pouts, disappointed. He's covered in wounds now, and Kinoko is angrily lying in a defeated pile somewhere further out (Usopp looks over at the blurry bird colours in the distance, briefly wondering if he'll need to get a new seeing eye bird.) He dusts his pants, humming sagely as he decides, "guess we actually have to kill them now."

He's probably not serious. Like, maybe only eighty percent serious, because Gin really wants to kill them and Luffy's starting to get influenced.

Terrified shrieking ensues once again.

It's an endless loop at this point.

"Well, jokes aside," Usopp says, using his walking stick to hold back Gin from approaching with his tonfas, "let's listen to Nami's opinions on it before deciding for real, alright? Until then, let's have some tea. I'll tell a story."

The general reaction is a dumbfounded: "What."

Sanji does in fact get the water boiling for tea, because Nami and Zoro show no signs of emerging from the lighthouse yet. They can't set sail for another while.

Luffy spins back onto his seat, happily awaiting the story. "Usopp's stories are interesting, you know!" he promised, like that's something the agents would want to know.

In fact, they're still seated on the floor, mutedly awaiting their impending doom.

"Seriously?" Gin deflates, upset that he isn't allowed to murder a human right now. He folds his tonfas back to his side and begrudgingly settles down opposite of the captain.

Sanji groans, running a hand through his hair. "You guys better decide if you wanna come clean. Honestly might just win you points, since our captain is stupid like that," he bargains.

Then he sets tea on the table, of course serving one to Miss Wednesday as well.

Usopp had retrieved Kinoko in the time it took to brew the tea. He's glad the bird isn't dead-- she's having her post-defeat depression at the moment, so Usopp is giving her some time. Seriously, what the hell with her.

Regardless, he lets Kinoko have his tea while he closes his eyes to begin talking.

(It's not like it makes a difference vision wise, but after losing his sight, it's become easier to gauge human reactions this way.)

"Well, have I told you about the time I infiltrated a mysterious organisation to save my country of followers?" he starts.

He smiles a little when Miss Wednesday's voice spikes in alarm.

"Well, I was working my way up the enemy ranks little by little-- for uh, ten years, I was playing the long con!" he chuckles at that. "Man, espionage is pretty hard, right?"

"Ain't that right up your alley, though?" Sanji says. "You suck at it, but it's what you do best. Sneaking in and telling lies to get places."

"You could phrase it nicer, Sanji."

"Really?" Gin doubts, "sounds more like Nami's thing to me."

Usopp simply smiles and continues. "Then a little birdie told me-- yes, like you, Kinoko," he scratches the bird under her wing nonchalantly, "I realized they already know I'm a spy, so what I was planning to do next just leads me straight back into a trap!"

The way he dramatized the story was amusing to Mister Nine-- but Miss Wednesday only paled further as the words trailed on.

Her eyes were wide, and her posture had frozen up. Is it a coincidence? Evidently not. Even she wasn't that stupid-- this man was telling them, right now-- this man was telling them her story, like it was nothing.

She didn't want to know what it meant.

Instead, she realized that the future of that story-- dramatization and clear exaggerated heroics aside-- was probably going to come true.

"I followed them anyway, pretending I didn't know they knew! A little mishap like that doesn't make the Great Usopp falter, after all!" he says, smug. "Then when I finally got close to the boss, I tore out the ropes bonding my arms, and defeated him in one punch! Then I cleared out every other ambusher, of course!"

Luffy awes at it, eyes sparkling-- but Sanji and Gin just scoff, the latter leaning his chin into his palm in an exasperated manner.

"If you could defeat them all so easily to begin with, why did you even need to infiltrate their base?" Gin mutters

Usopp yelps, because you're not supposed to point out plot holes in Usopp's stories.

Sanji doesn't get the drift though, he adds on. "And was there ever a need to play a long con if getting found out made everything easier for you?"

Usopp wilts, "just enjoy the story, dammit!"

"But it's so cool! Then you saved all your followers and had a big party, right?" Luffy cheers. For a guy that hated heroes, he sure liked a good hero story. And banquets-- banquets were key ingredients for making Luffy happy.

Telling stories was always fun because there was a Luffy around to fall for it. And Chopper, of course. "Of course I did!" Usopp boasts.

Mister Nine sighs disinterestedly at them. "Are they changing the subject to ignore us? What do we do, Miss Wednesday?" he asks, crestfallen. They might fail their mission now, and they were really going to get it this time…

But his partner gives no response.

"Miss Wednesday?"

She had bitten her lips, looking down in something short of anger. Of pure fear-- and sheer disbelief.

"Right, right," Sanji refills the cup of tea, scowling at the way Kinoko burps after drinking it all again. He's had his fill of cryptid shitheads for today, so he's not in the mood to tolerate one more. "We get it, Usopp. What was the moral of the story?"

(Because, just like the story that he'd told in the Baratie-- there was definitely an underlying point to the story. That was just how Usopp said things, like a quirk of his own that they always had to work around. )

Usopp takes a moment to appreciate the way they all turn to him in full understanding. Luffy loved the stories, Gin permitted them, and Sanji entertained them.

But at the end of the day-- they understood that he only turned to this format of conversation when he had something he wanted to say but couldn't concretely prove.

Yet, they waited patiently, never doubting the information he could weave together. So even if he didn't have any proof, they could find some later.

(It made it easier for him, because they could go on without worrying about needing to explain the time travel nonsense.)

Usopp turns toward Miss Wednesday with a sad smile.

"The point is, you two aren't leading us back to be captured," he says. Mister Nine tries to protest, but Miss Wednesday stops him with a raise of her hand. Her expressions darken. "I actually think the opposite."

(She had a bad feeling, after all. The Unluckies didn't have a reason to spare them or give them a second chance to do anything.)

(They must have retreated on the Boss' orders, because they weren't just 'executing agents that failed their mission' anymore-- their job was being handed off to another party that could better handle the threat.)

(Their target had been changed, and it was on high urgency. So higher level agents must have been deployed to take over.)

"Well, to say this frankly--" Usopp tells her, and all her nightmares immediately come true. "--your position has most probably been compromised up the chain of command, Princess Vivi."

Usopp will admit, he didn't know what to expect after he said that.

Will Vivi scream? Deny it? Jump off and swim away in a panic?

So take him by sheer surprise-- when she chucks a Peacock Slasher at him, scraping his cheek just barely enough to not draw blood. He does feel the burn against his skin, though-- and Gin is already standing. Luffy's aura spikes in hostility, and if it hadn't been a woman that struck, Sanji would have kicked their teeth out.

Usopp traces the trajectory of the weapon-- and grabs it out of the air by the string.

Miss Wedneday's too surprised at the moment to let go, so Usopp tugs it forward, wrapping it around his fist so she couldn't back away without releasing them.

Usopp then raises a hand before Sanji, just in case. The chef glares, but holds on at the understanding that Usopp probably has things handled. Luffy is already standing up and facing them apprehensively-- so if anyone was going to strike first, it would be Luffy.

Gin is different, however.

Mister Nine attempts to, in his confusion, aid his partner-- but the Man-Demon appears behind him, planting a firm foot on his shoulder. The sheen of a weighted metal ball rests on his head-- and he knows that only mercy allowed him to keep his head.

There was no vocal threat needed. The sheer silence of that action was enough to scare him wisely into a state of obedience.

"Attacking me won't do you any good, you know?" Usopp says.

"Y- You fiend!" she snaps, her tone finally approaching the more proper speech that was out of character for her Wednesday character. "How did you know? How long have they found out? Are you one of them too?!"

"I'm offended you think so," Usopp blanches, and with a sharp flick of his wrist, he detaches the Peacock Slasher from her elbow, and she shoots back. He then proceeds to untangle it from his hand, "well, call it a hunch. But I'm quite sure, in your perspective, it's not all that impossible at this point, right?"

Miss Wednesday bites her lip.

If her position was really compromised, then he's right, no matter what side he's on. They've been seeing this coming ever since they found out Mister Zero's identity, after all. Miss All-Sunday's actions as they were, it really was only a matter of time.

"Uhm… what's going on?" Mister Nine asks.

Sanji takes a drag of his cigarette, his foot still planted on the man's shoulder. "Yeah, we have no idea. Share with the class, Usopp?"

"I don't get it either," Gin says. "If we aren't concluding this damn situation in the next damn minute I might just kill you myself, Usopp. Then I'll kill these two."

"Okay, Gin. But let the poor man go before he wets himself, alright?"

"I'm sorry, I think I already did."

"Hey, no killing my sniper, Gin!" Luffy protests.

"I will not let you kill me either!" Vivi raises her voice. "Change of plans. I'm sorry for lying to you this whole time, Mister Nine, but I…"

"Well, if it's story time, can we have some tea again, Sanji?"

"Enough with the tea already! I'm sick of this roundabout bullshit!"

And that's the scene Zoro, Nami, and Crocus walk out of the lighthouse to see. Gin and Sanji are apparently fighting over who gets to strangle Usopp, Luffy is protesting because 'no killing my sniper! Guys, no killing each other!' or something.

Meanwhile, Miss Wednesday is telling a solemn story to Mister Nine, and Mister Nine's expressions are shell-shock horror before he proceeds to bury his head on the ground in worship.

"You're a princess, Miss Wednesday?!" is heard among the noise, and they have no idea what's happening, and Zoro isn't sure if he wants to know.

A bloated-looking Kinoko flies over, having had her fill of tea. She lands in Zoro's hand as the swordsman raises his palm to receive her. Then she immediately starts snoring-- and Zoro resists the urge to hurl it to the ground.

"I'm gonna go take a nap," Zoro says, casually making his way toward Merry with the bird still in his hand.

Nami just nods. "Yeah, have a good one."

Crocus pinches the bridge of his nose in resigned silence.