"It's okay if I'm not your favorite chapter you have written, but I hope you sometimes smile when you flip back to the pages I was still apart of." Unknow

"So you're leaving."

Adele pursed her lips as she looked up at the ceiling of Eliot's office before releasing a weak sigh as she turned to face him."Looks like it."

"Who's going to take care of the clinic if you're gone?" He asked as he walked over to the desk to pull out two glasses from one of the drawers. Adele watched him for a moment before coming over to him with her arms crossed over her chest."Huh? Because it sure won't be me. I'm way too old for this shit."

He leaned down to slide the second glass towards her, letting Adele retrieve it. "You could give Edith the keys. She does pretty well with the books. She is also good with patients."

Eliot let out a snort as he leaned against the back of his chair to drink his drink with a smirk. He savored the taste of the scotch on his tongue for a moment before letting out a slight growl."Looks like that little one ended up growing on you."

"Wasn't that your plan from the start?" Adele replied with an arched eyebrow as she settled into the opposite chair. She crossed one leg over the other before setting her drink down on the desk."That's why you gave her to me personally. You thought she could become to me what I am to you."

Eliot stared at the wall in front of him with a guilty smile before turning his head casually towards her."You've always been a pain in my ass. It was time to give you a taste of your own medicine."

"Well I have to say you got me good." Adele hissed with a semblance of a smile on her lips to the understatement of her statement. She couldn't really deny the fact that she had grown attached to the petite blonde.

A brief, comfortable silence settled between them as Adele sipped her glass.

Eliot suddenly took his box of cigarettes before handing her one. Adèle was about to refuse before finally giving in to the temptation. She leaned down to take the white stick between her fingers before sliding it between her lips. She raised her hand in anticipation of his matchbox before leaning back against the chair as she felt the smoke seep into her lungs.

She ignored the bitter taste of tobacco on her tongue as she pulled the cigarette from her lips to expel the smoke. She looked at Eliot through the cloud of smoke just to see him staring at her with a small, almost fatherly smile.

"We've both come a long way, right?"

"And to think you didn't want to teach a woman." Scoffed Adele with a fond smile at the memory.

"Poor me. I ended up with the bloodiest stubborn woman I know."Laughed Eliot.

Adele rolled her eyes as she pulled the cigarette between her fingers again before leaning more in her seat in a position similar to Eliot's. Except that she didn't have her feet crossed on the desk.

"You survived." Adele recalled with a mocking smile. "You should consider yourself happy."

"You mean lucky, right?"

"You're a damn ass." Chuckled Adele.

Eliot laughed with her before bringing his cigarette to his lips to take a drag. He shook his head with a lingering little smile on his lips before turning his head to Adele to look at her. This time he really looked at her. He could see the changes in her. She certainly wasn't the same innocent young girl who had provoked him in the trenches anymore. She hadn't been in a while.

But he knew her better than anyone. And he could see that there was something new the last few days. She seemed to be heartbroken. He didn't really have to think much to find out the author of her misfortune.

If he was being honest with himself, he would admit he should have seen it much sooner, but he was never sure about anything with Adele. She was fiery and unpredictable.

And yet it was obvious.

He pursed his lips in a contrite smile."Do you like him a lot?"

Adele froze under the weight of his question before being speechless for a moment in front of the depth of his knowing gaze. She licked her lips as she released the smoke before looking away with a weak sigh."It doesn't really matter now."

"Really?" He asked. "Why?"

"Because I'm going to leave." She replied, shrugging her shoulders."And when he finds out then that will mean he will also know what I did. He will hate me. Who knows… maybe he'll want to kill me after this."

Eliot shuddered at the mere thought."You're probably the only person who can laugh about the fact that Thomas Shelby wants to kill her."

"I have never feared death." Reminded Adele. "Only for my relatives. I'm not going to start now."

Eliot leaned his elbow against the desk as he absently toyed with the tip of his cigarette before giving her a sharp look."But he was making you alive. And that's what scares you the most."

Adele swallowed as she looked away to hear her own truth. Eliot had been the only one to point out her fears out loud. Of all the people she knew, he was probably the only one who could say this sort of thing to her face. It was probably because of him that she was so honest now. He was the one who had taught her to say things without really caring about the consequences.

"This new life will make me come alive." She replied as she looked at the ash from her cigarette which had fallen to the ground."I can live without love. I'm used to loneliness."

"But can you really live without him?"

Adele looked up at Eliot as his question hit her like a punch in the abdomen. She winced at the sudden pain along her chest before swallowing in an attempt to erase the emotions from her tone."If I know he's alive then yes. I can be happy with a life without him."

"You don't open your heart to anyone, Adele." Eliot recalled gravely. "You'll never let anyone in again. You won't be able to forget him."

She immediately brought the cigarette to her lips in an attempt to ignore the slight tremor along her hands before shrugging her shoulders casually."I would live with it."

Eliot watched her for a moment, searching for an argument to reason with her. He knew what it was like to live without being with the one you loved. He had lost his wife and daughter. He had never felt greater loss.

In a way, he understood the custody of Adele. To love meant to lose. It was her greatest fear. She wouldn't let anyone in.

As sad as it may be, he was right in his remarks earlier. Adele was probably the most stubborn woman he knew. So he just nodded in defeat.

He swirled the alcohol in his glass for a moment before letting out a long audible sigh. He tilted his head back as he swallowed the rest of his drink before placing it forcefully on the desk.

He straightened up in his chair before leaning his elbows against the desk as he pointed at her with his fingers holding his cigarette."You better not become like those rich daddy's girls. If you ever look down on the middle classes ..."

"If that ever happens ... I will make sure to come back to you." Assured Adele with a grateful smile for the change in conversation."Plus, I was counting on sponsoring the clinic. It will be my first decision once at the head of the marketing department. You definitely need to expand this place."

"You will tell Edith about it." He delegated as he brought his cigarette to his lips while leaning again against his chair with his feet on the desk.

Adele raised her glass to toast with a sarcastic smile."Very well. I would tell Edith about it. "

"It's today, isn't it?"

Adele paused in the hallway at the meaningful question from her little brother. She turned to him with her head tilted slightly since he was at the top of the stairs. She held his gaze for a moment in silence before finally nodding her head in agreement."Pack your bags, Seamus. I'm gonna go make a phone call to the Garrison. I won't be long."

"So you're really not going to give me a choice on this."

Adele paused again with her hand on the doorknob before turning back again. She crossed her hands along her stomach as she gave her brother a sincere look."You will always have a choice, Seamus. If you want to stay in the clinic with Edith and the others then stay."

"But you're leaving." He said.

"But I'm leaving." Adele nodded.

She watched as Seamus suddenly started down the stairs. He didn't like this position of superiority over his sister. Everyone in this family knew that it was Adele who had the full power and he was happy with that. He cared little for propriety despite what their mother had instilled in him. He was a modern man as Edith would say.

The truth ? He just loved his sister. So fucking much. He was fully aware that she was the most capable of making the best decisions for him. He didn't doubt it for a moment. And after spending the last few years apart, he couldn't replicate that experience. Never again.

"Do you know what I said to myself when you came back?" He asked once at her height."I told myself that I would never let you go without me again."

"Seamus…"

"I'm serious, Adele." He insisted. "I trust you. I'll go with you."

Adele let a small smile curl her lips despite everything as she raised her arms to hug him. Seamus let out a surprised breath at the gesture before quickly squeezing her back to pull her closer to him. He let a small smile curl his lips as he rested his chin on her shoulder. With her heels on, she was almost as tall as him.

However, it wasn't long before he let a mocking smile curl his lips."Plus, I don't particularly want to be there when Tommy finds out you're gone. It's traumatic enough to know that you had sex."

"The fuck, Seamus?" Adele gasped as she stepped back to slap him on the shoulder with a wide gaze.

The latter immediately let out a breath of laughter as he raised his hands."What? That's right, isn't it? My sister fucked the King of Birmingham."

"Shut up!" Adele moaned in annoyance.

Seamus let out another snort before shaking his head as he watched Adele take to flight.

It wasn't long before the latter paused as she glanced scathingly in the direction of her door before shaking her head. She took a step towards the center of town with a curse under her breath. This idiot.

She did not drag on the path.

Her mind was only focused on one goal and one goal only. She must not back down. She didn't really have a choice anyway. It was the day Tommy learned of her betrayal. It didn't matter that she had acted under the pressure. She was a fucking snitch.

Unfortunately she hadn't anticipated that Tommy and his men would come to drink a good dose of alcohol before the hostilities. She had barely stepped into the Garrison when she already wanted to turn around.

Grace widened her eyes at the sight of Adele pausing in the hallway as Tommy hurried around the counter with an expression almost never seen on his face. He was smiling.

Grace felt pity for him at this precise moment. He definitely had no idea what to expect.

"My, my, Adèle Fitzpatrick!" Arthur called immediately, raising his pint."Now it's a real celebration."

Tommy let out a snort before turning to his brother with a finger raised in his direction in warning."Watch your mouth, Arthur!" He then stopped in front of Adele with a small smile."I didn't expect to see you today."

Adele swallowed as she avoided his gaze before meeting Grace's gaze over Thomas's shoulder."I just needed to make a call."

"Really?" He asked, curious."Who?"

"It's none of your business. I'll come by later." Adele snapped back before turning back to the exit.

Thomas immediately frowned before immediately raising his hand to catch her arm."Wait, wait, where are you going?" He cleared his throat before signing the counter."Help me brew the beer."

"Tommy…"

"It's Thomas for you." He recalled with a cheeky little smile over his shoulder since he was already pulling her with him to the counter.

Adele suppressed a growl in frustration as she walked up the steps behind the bar before ignoring Grace's sympathetic gaze as she took off her coat. She figured she could at least give him that moment. Who knows what would happen next to him.

She puckered her lips as she turned at the thought before gasping in spite of herself as Arthur knocked his empty pint in front of her."C'mon, pretty barmaid. A pint, please."

"I'm not your fucking-" Adele took a deep breath before sharply taking the pint of his hands to walk over to Tommy and Grace.

Tommy let out a chuckle at the sight of her expression before gently taking the pint of her hands to serve his insufferable brother.

She shared a brief glance with the blonde on the other side before trying not to make eye contact with Thomas as she stared at his hands pressing the beer.

"You know Arthur isn't the brightest." He said strangely in a good mood. It was almost weird for Adele to see him so open, light. Nonetheless, she did her best to record his cheerful voice and smile in her head for the next few years to come."But that's family. Don't be too hard on him. I doubt he can get over it."

Adele rolled her eyes with a sad little smile threatening to make its way to her lips. Conversely, Grace let out a snort in spite of herself.

Thomas gave a look between the duo of women beside him."Looks like you've made friends after all."

Adele didn't comment as she just took the full pint from his hands before joining Arthur to serve him. She could feel Thomas's attentive gaze on her profile. She crossed her arms over her chest in an unconscious gesture of defense before reaching his side in spite of herself.

It was just like he was a fucking magnet. Everything her body wanted had come close to him.

She pursed her lips as she could again feel disgust running down her tongue. Or at least that was the taste she thought disgust had. She had never been so disgusted with herself before. The mere presence of Thomas by her side made her miserable. She wanted to cry. She could already feel the tears streaming behind her eyes as she nibbled lightly on her cheek to refrain from showing any more emotion.

Unfortunately Thomas seemed totally unaware of her torment as he cleared his throat lightly to get her attention."The next family meeting," Adele looked up in spite of herself before quickly regretting her mistake as he supported her gaze with intensity."I'll make sure you're there."

She immediately looked away with a slight panicked crease between her eyebrows. She could feel her pulse quicken as she struggled with the words."If I were family… but I'm not."

Thomas didn't take his eyes off her as he looked at her profile seriously."That could change."

Adele felt like she suddenly felt the weight of the world collapse on her shoulders. The meaning behind his meaningful words. It was probably the most beautiful and saddest thing she had heard. It was also a stab directly in her chest. Without even knowing it, he was spinning and turning the blade in her heart. Worst of all, she thought it was deserved. After what she had done and what she was about to do. She couldn't do anything but endure the agony traveling down her limbs.

She released a weak breath as she struggled to speak again through the pain."Tommy…"

"We'll talk about it more when I get back. Alright?"

Adele pursed her lips before giving him a suddenly worried look. She couldn't let him get into this trap. He was going to throw himself into the mouth of the wolf. It was her fault. Her fucking fault.

"Thomas, I don't think that's a good idea." Adele hissed as she suddenly put her hand on his forearm to get his attention.

Thomas met his gaze with a smirk."Now is this how you're going to be? You waiting at home for me saying, "what time did you call this?" or "Bloody idiot, I told you so?"

It was the last straw for Adele.

She looked at his genuine smile. He had been genuinely happy for probably as long as she had. Well, she was happy, until she met Grace's pitying gaze over his shoulder. She couldn't hold the mask anymore. Grace seemed to realize this as she tilted her head sympathetically.

Adele couldn't pretend anymore as she shook her head before turning on her heels."It's a bloody nightmare."

"Adele!" Grace called out in concern.

The latter took refuge in the nearest place. In other words, the reserve. She slammed the door behind her in spite of herself before immediately bringing her trembling hands to her lips as she felt the silent tears run down her cheeks despite her best efforts. Sadly it looked like she was going to have to endure more as she struggled to wipe away the traces of weakness with her fingers as she heard the door open.

"Adele." Thomas called out, concerned as he slowly approached Adele with his hand on her shoulder so he could look at her."Hey, Adele, I was joking."

Adele let herself be guided towards him as she let out a lively laugh before looking away with a deep breath.

It wasn't long before she let herself be betrayed by a sudden start at the sound of the knocking on the door soon followed by John's familiar voice."Tommy, we need more mild."

Tommy rolled his eyes as he turned to the door in frustration."Just help yourselves."

Adele swallowed as she made up her expression before lifting her eyes to make the first real eye contact with him since arriving. The sight of the emotions in her eyes immediately alerted Thomas.

"Tommy, the truth is…" She licked her lips as she lowered her eyes."... When you get back I won't be here."

Thomas scanned her face, his eyes catching Adele's red, teary eyes with a worried frown."What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I mean." She replied as she propped up his blue eyes. Her own island of peace. And she was going to destroy everything."I told you ... it's never going to happen."

"Alright, look." Thomas objected immediately as he shook his head in agitation."Adele, I know you want a good man. I know you want someone who can make up for your darkness." Adele held his gaze with emotion."But I'm turning things around. When I get back here tonight, I will have one of the biggest legal racetrack syndicates in the country."

Adèle left a scoff anyway."You mean you're going to steal it. Just like your father and mine used to say that famous story of stolen horses."

"No, no, no." Tommy retorted."I'm not like them. Once it's done, I'm going to close down some of the other stuff." He watched her for a moment before resuming before she could argue."Maybe open up a club, hey? Like in London. You like London clubs. And another thing ... "He took her chin between his fingers."You could get a contract on the marketing team of Shelby Limited. I saw this book in your room. You're interested in business, right?"

Adele let out a gasping breath as she raised her hands to lean on him. She left her hands on the crew neck of his shirt before absently stroking the base of his neck, contrite."Tommy… you don't know what you're saying. You don't even know why I had this book."

"I am going to make success of this." He insisted as he leaned over slightly to plunge his blue eyes into her hazel ones."I am going to make a success of it. I am."

Adele licked her lips as she put her hands on his cheeks, shaking her head, confused."Thomas…"

"I'm not talking about marriage." Thomas interrupted her again in a new match of strength. He had always known she would be difficult. But he was going to make sure he won this time."We know each other. And we don't even need to talk for that. We're the same."

Adele stiffened as she met his gaze again before feeling the emotions again take over as she shook her head, on the verge of tears."You can't say this. You will end up hating me."

Thomas frowned clearly in bewilderment before abruptly letting go of her hands as Arthur abruptly opened the door.

"Right, tell him what you just told me."

Adele straightened up in spite of herself as she saw Jesus, Isaiah's father advancing."Just heard there are two vans driving up the Stratford Road. An old corporal of mine said he recognized some of the men. He said it's Kimber's boys and they're heading this way."

Adele immediately brought her hand to her lips as Thomas turned to her before suddenly running out of the room. She felt more tears accumulate behind her eyes as she realized that was exactly what she dreaded.

Arthur, Jesus and the rest of Thomas's men soon left the pub after he left and Adele suddenly found herself in an almost crippling silence. She struggled to wipe away her tears as best she could before suddenly freezing at Grace's call. "Adele."

She met the blonde's sorry gaze before suddenly sitting up as she tried to swallow all of her emotions. She made up her expression as she made sure to metaphorically cut off the gangrenous member- her heart -before acting.

"The phone." She demanded as she abruptly pushed Grace out of her way into the pub."Where's the fucking phone, Grace?"

"Are you alright?"

Adele looked up from the counter to look at Grace's worried expression. Since the end of her call, she had been in a sort of trance. As expected, she had cut off the gangrenous member. She had never felt so cold as now.

It was her choice, however.

"We must go." She answered instead as she pulled on her coat before turning on her heels just to pause at the sight of the woman suddenly coming in her way.

She lifted her chin as she met the hard glare on the verge of tears of the woman who meant everything to her. The one who was like her second mother.

"Are you leaving again?" Polly asked as she struggled against the emotions threatening to betray her ice mask.

"We heard there's trouble." Grace said in her place as she slipped the strap of her coat around her waist.

"I wasn't talking to you." Polly snapped as she kept her eyes on Adele.

Adele did the exact same as she held up her gaze with her jaw clenched."I wouldn't play that with you, Polly."

"Oh, is Polly now?" She commented with a bitter smile."I see. Wise decision. You would lose anyway."

Adele cracked a smirk in spite of herself.

Conversely, Grace hastened to join her side in impatience."Look, the fight is about to begin. We should get out of there."

"We know who you are." Polly stopped her dead before returning her gaze to Adele."Just as I know there is only one reason that could have forced you to do what you did, Adele."

"Really?" She challenged as she narrowed her eyes on the elegant, fierce woman. She was already fucked up. As long as she makes sure to cut all ties with Small Heath."Are you sure you're not looking for excuses, Pol?"

"Tommy knows that too." Polly added as she slid her brooch out of her hair."Turns out the copper as good as told him this morning."

Adele felt her lips quiver as she tried to contain the tears at the sight of the look of betrayal in Polly's dark brown eyes. She had never meant to hurt her. It was not her intention. And she hated herself for it. But she was on the wrong side now.

There was nothing more she could do to fix it.

She swallowed to try and swallow the ball of emotion down her throat before taking a restless step towards the exit."Well, looks like everything's sorted out then. There's no point in arguing."

Polly suddenly lifted the brooch to her throat, forcing her to stop dead in her footsteps. She immediately lifted her head to meet Polly's bruised gaze. She could feel her hand shaking against her neck. She wasn't going to hurt her. She was incapable of it.

Unfortunately Grace didn't seem to know that since it wasn't long before Adele heard the sound of a safety catch behind her."I am an agent of the crown. I have the power to arrest and the right to use force. So please take this brooch off her neck."

"The fuck, Grace?" Adele barked as she ignored the brooch pricking her neck to raise her hand in the direction of the blonde."Lower your fucking gun!"

Grace trembled slightly as she frowned at Adele."What-but ...?"

"Are we some fucking savages?" She exclaimed in frustration before turning to Polly."Lower your goddamn brooch, Pol. We both know you're not going to use it."

Polly raised her brooch just for effect, forcing Adele to lift her head with the movement."Yeah? You sure about that?"

"This gun is loaded."

Polly gave an annoyed look over Adele's shoulder to gauge the blonde."I'm not afraid of you."

"Holy shit, Grace! If she really wanted to use it she would have done it already."Adele replied between clenched teeth. She could feel her skin about to give in under the pressure of the spit."Drop your fucking gun!"

Polly pursed her lips in a frustrated smile before sharply removing the brooch from her neck.

Adele stepped back slightly before glancing at Grace to lower her gun. Surprisingly the blonde listened to her this time as she put the security back on before placing her gun on the copper counter of the bar.

Adele let a low sigh pass her lips before turning to Polly."What do you want, Polly?"

"You are not a rich little girl. You're not a little twig thing either." She gave Grace a pointed glance in support of her point before returning her eyes to Adele."Or a snitch for that matter. It's in your veins. You're a little gypsy like us. Even if you don't want to admit it. That's why you prefer to run away. You'd rather go play rich little girl."Adele looked up at Polly."Yeah, I talked to your mom, Adele. This is how I learned it all. You haven't come to see me. You didn't seek my help."

"Maybe I really am a snitch."

"No." Polly objected immediately before glancing dismissively at Grace."Pour us a drink."

Adele let a mocking laugh on her lips as she lifted her eyes to the ceiling.

Polly walked over to the nearest table to get settled. She shook her head before watching the crazy superstitious old woman get her box of cigarettes. She should have known she would contact her mother. It was evident. Just like the fact that she would be the first to get in her way. It was Polly fuckin' Gray after all.

"You're really going to give me the famous drink speech." Snorted Adele."Really, Pol?"

"Sit down, Adele." Smiled Polly as she brought her cigarette to her lips before giving her a stern look."Sit!"

Adele took a deep breath in irritation as she watched Grace bring them a drink before finally noisily pulling up a chair to sit down.

"Elegant." Pol commented.

Adele rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest."Be brief, Polly. I am expected."

"It's a tricky thing, right?" Polly said letting Adele look up to meet her gaze in a bad feeling."Feelings. One moment we hate someone and the next ... "She met her gaze with gravity." ... we fall in love."

"Let me guess. Ma ?"

"I didn't need her on that one."Polly replied. "I know you."

Adele clenched her jaw."I'm not Ada."

"Fortunately." Chuckled Polly."One is enough for me."

Grace settled down at the table with her jaw clenched."What can it do if she's fallen in love? She plans to leave town."

Polly raised her glass to point to Grace."New friend?"

"Sort of." Adele growled as she gave the blonde an aggravated look for confirming Polly's words before leaning in to take one of the full glasses. She took a sip as she returned her eyes to Polly."I never planned on staying."

"And yet it has never been so hard to leave." Polly commented with her eyebrows raised."Am I wrong?"

Adele looked away as she pursed her lips at the emotion streaming down her throat again. She took a shuddering breath under Polly's indulgent eyes before gasping at the feel of her hand on hers. She returned her eyes to her in surprise."Pol?"

"You know he's not like you. He's soft."She said seriously."If you go, you can rebuild yourself. You are strong." She reclined in her chair again. "But he… he didn't meet any other girl like you. Your memory will haunt him. It would be torture to leave him like that."

Adele let an exhausted smile curl her lips as she shook her head."He's going to want to kill me."

"He's probably going to hate you for not saying anything. I know I do." Polly repeated."But kill you? Yeah, that won't happen."

"If I stay that's what will eventually happen."

Polly lost her smile somewhat as she nodded in agreement. She tapped her cigarette lightly to remove the ash before returning her eyes to Adele with sadness."Things would have been easier if you had met him before the war. He was an honest man. Believed in love. And… he laughed, a lot."

"But this man no longer exists." Adele conceded as she put down her glass before getting up."Just like the naive girl who went to war. We all came back. But not entirely. Two broken souls have nothing to do with each other, Pol."

"You're going to break his heart, Adele."

"Already broken."She replied, remembering her many conversations with the man of the day.

Polly shook her head in emotion at the look on Adele's face. The pain was obvious. For everyone except her."What about yours?"

"You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm a traitor, remember?"

Adele spun around on her heels to make her exit only Polly's trembling voice interrupted her."You will come back eventually. And when that time comes, I'll be the first to tell you, "I told you so."

Adele clenched her jaw as she glanced briefly over her shoulder."Grace?"

"Yeah. I come." She declared as she stood up to join her.

Adele tried to ignore Polly's long gaze on her back as she continued to walk towards the exit.

"You will come back eventually. I promise you that."Polly called one last time.

Adele suppressed a sigh as she pushed open the doors whispering under her breath."God, I hope not."