Chapter 26.
Excuse me for the wait my loves, it was really busy in the store I manage during easter times! But I am back. I had to think about what exactly I want to happen with this story and decided, like always, I'd rather just go with the flow! LOL. Here's an extra long chapter for you guys!
Our little bird wonders away… And that does not make our hound happy. Not. At. All… Brace yourselves loves. Time for some bumps in the road!
I hope you will enjoy!
'It has been raining forever now,' Sansa sighed. She stared at the droplets running down the window, sitting down on a kitchen chair. Sandor was sitting opposite of her, slowly sipping from his coffee.
He sighed deeply and nodded once, giving her a look of understanding. They had been cooped up in the cabin for those two days. The wind was almost as bad as the water pouring down. Sandor had locked the chickens in their coop and even placed the cows and goats in the shed. He had explained to her it could rain like this for a few days, it was normal for this time of year. It would get better eventually, but even he could not tell her when.
'Aye little bird. It sure feels like it.' Sansa watched him empty his cup before he stretched his arms above his head and then brought his eyes back on hers.
Sansa sighed too. She would give a lot to be able to walk around outside.
'If it ever stops raining, are we going for a walk again?' she asked him softly. Sandor smiled at her.
'Of course, little bird. Of course. The rain will eventually stop.' Sansa nodded gloomily and stared at the window.
'Shall I show you how to make bread? We don't have anything better to do anyway.' Sansa looked up when she heard him speak. She'd been inside for two days and just hung around a bit, tidying up, cleaning up, and Sander had read some more to her. But now she was really fed up with sitting inside. Although his proposal sounded interesting.
'From grain to bread?' She asked him softly, not sure what was actually needed to make bread.
Sandor's smile turned into a grin.
'From grain to bread, little bird. Come on, it may have stopped raining when we finish.'
Sansa had never baked a loaf of bread or thought about how much work it actually was. Until she saw Sandor kneading and waiting for the dough to rise. He had shown her how to put the ingredients together and how sticky the dough would become. After the dough had risen, it had suddenly become much bigger.
The whole process was interesting enough to get through the afternoon, and it wasn't until the bread was in the oven, the kitchen cleaned again, that Sandor and Sansa sat contentedly in the chairs in front of the fire.
'It smells wonderful,' Sansa said, closing her eyes and enjoying the wonderful scent from the kitchen.
'Aye, it does. Bread and some broth for tonight then, little bird. A decent enough meal I'd say.'
§§§§§§§
Later that night, Sansa listened to the ticking of the rain on the windows as Sandor softly snored beside her. He had absolutely no trouble falling asleep, not even while the wind was howling, and the rain was almost washing away the cabin with its intensity.
Even now, hours into the night, the rain had not stopped, though it was less than before.
'Sandor?' Sansa softly asked the enormous man beside her. She watched his body in the dark of the room and saw he was not waking up. She didn't really know what she wanted of him, but she needed the affirmation she was not alone, and she was safe. Homesickness was creeping on her and being stuck inside for days on end had not been good on her mind. She felt trapped. She felt like this would never end.
'Sandor,' she tried again. He stirred a bit, turned in his sleep and placed an arm around her waist before he slept on. Sansa sighed. She was debating on getting out of bed and trying to read, when he suddenly spoke softly.
'Never let her go.' She never heard him speak so softly and she realized he must be asleep still. She turned a bit and stilled when he spoke again.
'Forever mine.' Her eyes grew wide. What was he talking about? Never letting her go? He promised her a year and then he would set her free if that was what she wanted. Had he been lying to her?
Sansa had felt like staying with him only days ago. He had been so kind and so loving and so patient… had that all been a lie? Was he playing tricks on her?
She felt her heart freeze thinking he was trying to lie her into staying with him. She had hated him for taking her the way he had and now it turned out he had been lying the entire time. Had he made her feel safe just so he could keep her here and strike whenever the thought it was the right time?
Swallowing hard and feeling tears stinging in her eyes, Sansa slipped from beneath his arm and stood beside the bed. Sandor turned a little but slept on.
In that instant she made up her mind. She was not going to stay here like a little scared and obedient puppy. He had lied. He would force her to stay here even after the year he had promised her. And even if she had wanted to stay with him… She could not be with him any longer. Not after this.
She glanced over towards the window and saw the rain was getting less heavy. She would leave. As gentle as she could she dressed in a warm sweater and jeans and then took a last look at the sleeping giant in the bed.
She felt tears run down her cheeks and felt cheated. She had told him about her life. About her mother, her dreams and about Petyr ... She had come to trust him. How could she ever have been so stupid?
She walked slowly down the stairs and put on her coat. She put on a cap and while she was at it a plan sprang up in her head.
The boat. It had only been a short boat trip when he brought her here.
She knew roughly where the boat was. That would be her salvation. She was going to free herself. She had to.
§§§§§§§§
The wind and rain continued to beat around the cabin, even so hard that Sandor woke up from a dream. He felt his back was wet with sweat, and the images of Sansa being taken from him by a monster named Petyr were still on his retina.
He only had one job and that was to protect her, to love her. To keep her safe as long as she wanted. Even if she never allowed him to touch her the way he wanted to touch her. As he so desperately longed to touch her. He could wait. He would wait. He loved her. He would wait forever if needed…
He felt next to him and wanted to pull Sansa to him, to make sure she was next to him. To make sure she was safe. But she was not there. The bed was cold. And empty.
§§§§§§§
She must have been walking for a good half hour, but the coast was and stayed far away. Sansa didn't get it. She also didn't know whether it was tears or rain burning in her eyes, but she saw almost nothing.
She felt angry but now also frustrated. She realized she couldn't find her way around this island at all, and maybe she'd fall off a cliff before she found the boat. How stupid she was, even when it came down to it, she couldn't save herself.
She was a stupid little girl who couldn't even get herself to safety, even if her life depended on it.
She dropped to her knees and only then felt how drenched she was. She was very cold, and shivers rushed through her.
She couldn't stop now, she had to move on. She tried to look around, but it was raining much harder now. She forced herself to walk to the trees, farther from the shore.
She didn't see a boat, but at least the trees were holding back some rain. She shivered and felt how icy she was now. Her teeth were chattering.
Which way should she go? She couldn't walk around the coast as cold as she was, could she? The fact that it was pitch dark didn't help either. Sansa leaned against the tree, defeated, and then she wept. She had no idea if it was rain or tears streaming down her cheeks, but she let everything go.
§§§§§§
Sandor stood in the kitchen, staring at the place where her boots had been. Where her coat should be. And fear stroke him hard.
'Foolish bird,' He growled. She had gone out. Why the hell would she do something like that? She hated the cold and the rain, and she was afraid of the bloody dark!
He hoped with all his being she was with the chickens or the other animals in the shed because of some silly reason to make sure they would be alright. But somewhere in his heart, he knew he would not find her there.
Everything good had always been taken from him… He felt his heart clench thinking about her wondering around in the dark and rain all by herself. It was dangerous out there.
And then he had not even thought about why she had left… What had he done that was so awful she had to leave? The day had been good, the evening too. He had not even touched her like he wished he could.
Sandor took only a second to take his coat an put on his boots. He grabbed two bottles and filled them with water and shoved them into his backpack. He thanked god when the flashlight he found in the kitchen still worked. He grabbed his axe from the shed and then he started his journey. The journey to safe whatever was left of his heart.
§§§§§§§§
Sansa had walked on. She had walked along the cliffs, but her fear was too great. She had turned around and was now walking along a stream that seemed to be getting wider and wider.
She saw rocks and finally with chattering teeth, she saw the brook flow into the sea.
But there was no boat to be seen. Only rain and icy wind.
She lowered herself onto a rock and sat in the pouring rain. She had no idea how to go on. She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to go back either. She wanted to go home. To her small room and her life before Sandor.
She didn't want to have anything to do with men anymore. It had always been a good thing that she had kept a distance between herself and any man after Petyr ... And yet here she was.
She had no idea what time it was, but it didn't get much lighter outside. At what time had she actually set out of the cabin?
And what would happen to her if she didn't find the boat?
Her mind was spinning, and she felt dizzy and so very, very tired. She leaned down on the rock and closed her eyes.
§§§§§§§
Sandor kept walking. He didn't even feel the rain or the cold anymore. All he felt was fear. Fear that wherever Sansa had gone to, he would be too late to save her.
What had she thought of? What had gotten into her mind? He thought everything was going so well between them. She smiled more often and more exuberantly. Sometimes she even visited him in the shed and was much closer to him. She lay close to him at night and he often felt her small cold hands on his back.
Where had it gone wrong? What signs had he missed?
He brushed the rain from his eyes and his hair behind his ears and quickened his pace.
It didn't matter what happened to him. He had to and would find her in time. There would be no life for him if he didn't.
And even though he felt some sort of anger about this, his fear was far greater than his anger. But he was angry, with her but mostly with himself for letting her go. For making her go. He hoped and wished he would find her in good health and that he would learn where they had gone wrong.
§§§§§§
Sansa felt the pain in her eyes and throat. The wind had picked up and showed no pity for her on that cold rock.
She had stood up and had no idea how to proceed. Whether she could continue at all.
She was so tired, and everything hurt. She staggered on the rock when she heard the wind shout her name. It was crazy, she didn't think the wind would know her name. Why did the wind know that?
'Sansa!' Sansa spun around and nearly fell off the rock when she saw not the wind but a man. A huge, soaked man who strode her way.
Sansa felt a little more awake when she saw him and remembered why she was here again.
'Sansa, what are you doing there?' Sansa blinked. She thought she wouldn't see him again, but now that she thought about it, she found it was strange that he didn't sound angry. He sounded tired and empty. Fearful even. But not angry.
'I'm leaving.' Sandor froze when she said those words. She saw how he watched her, her position on the rock and how he stopped.
'What?' he asked, stunned. Sansa lifted her chin but couldn't stop shaking because of the cold.
'You lied to me. I want to go home.' Sandor stood frozen to the ground and looked at her questioningly.
'Sansa? What are you talking about?' Sansa felt tears return.
'You said you never let me go and I was yours forever.' Sandor swallowed painfully and took a step toward her. When she staggered a step on the rock, he froze again.
'Sansa, I don't know what you're talking about. We have agreed on a year. I'm not going to break that promise.' Sansa shook her head stubbornly.
'You said it. Tonight.' Sandor still gave her a questioning look. Then a look of recognition appeared in his eyes.
'I dreamed Sansa. I dreamed about that monster that touched you. What damaged you.' Sansa felt herself go light-headed for a moment. She couldn't have been that wrong, right?
Had her fear made her so blind?
'Sansa, I promised you to wait as long as you want. I'm not going to break that promise. Never. And I won't let anyone hurt you anymore. Please come here.'
She saw the despair in his eyes and stepped aside. She lost her balance so quickly that she didn't even notice the pain of falling on the rock.
She could feel the icy cold of the water. She had no air in her lungs to scream. Not even when an iron band wrapped around her upper arm and pulled her out of the water quite harshly.
'I got you.' She was pulled from the water and over the rocks. She was only released when they were both in the high grass and Sandor dropped to his knees before her.
'Fuck. Bloody hell.' Sandor cursed for a few moments straight, until he locked eyes with her and grew silent.
It was all he said to her, before he carried her all the way back to the cabin, she shivering in his arms, he silent and walking on in a steady pace.
§§§§§§§
He placed her with clothes and all in the living room, right before the fireplace. Both of them were wet to the bone and shivering.
'Never, ever do that to me again, Sansa. You almost killed me. Don't… don't leave like that. Tell me what I do wrong, yell at me, call me out on my foul words. But don't disappear.' Sansa felt her heart skip a beat. He sounded broken, empty and.. so sad.
She turned her head away and leaned towards the warmth of the fire, not quite feeling it in her bones.
'You… I thought you had broken your promise. That you tricked me in staying here. That you didn't mean a word of it.' Sandor moved to take her coat from her, but she wrapped her arms around herself.
'I will never lie to you Sansa.' Ze saw the sincerity in his eyes and felt shame creep into her mind. She had placed both of them in danger with her fears. And for nothing. It had been nothing.
'Sandor…' He moved closers and started taking her coat off of her.
'I gave you my word Sansa. And to me that means something. I will not force you. If you want to leave, really want to leave me so badly. I will… bring you back.'
Sansa froze even more. She glanced up and saw him looking down on her.
'What?' She asked. He sighed deeply and placed her wet coat on the floor beside her.
'If you are so desperate to get away from me, I will not… keep you here.' Sansa felt herself grow cold and not because she was completely drenched.
'Sandor… I don't want to leave you.' She had never seen his eyes change to that warm grew that fast. Never.
'What?' He could only ask her. Sansa swallowed painfully.
'I like it here… but… The thought of you lying to me made me so fearful… I'm sorry Sandor. I never wanted to put you in danger.' Sandor pulled her onto his lap, soaking wet or not, and held her close.
'Promise me you'll never run away like this, Sansa. I can't take that. I thought I lost you.' He rocked her on his lap and kept her as close to his body as he could.
'Sorry. I am so sorry.' Sansa cried softly into his chest and only stopped when he pulled back and stared down on her.
'Let's get those wet clothes off and into bed we go little bird. You are freezing cold.' He stood and pulled her with him, undressing her without asking or waiting for her reply. He didn't linger at any piece of clothing until she and he himself were completely naked. He scooped her up in his arms and walked up the stairs.
The wind was howling even louder it seemed, as Sandor placed her under the covers, before sliding in behind her, instantly pulling her in his arms.
Even Sandor was cold, Sansa realized. The man who always seemed like he was some sort of oven, now felt frozen.
'Well warm up in a moment Sansa, come here.' He rubbed her arms and placed himself flush against her smaller frame.
'I'm so sorry.' She muttered the words. Feel tired and a little warmer now she was in bed with him, buried under the thick covers.
'It's alright Sansa. We'll be fine. Just never leave me again. Not like that.' He kissed her shoulder and kept rubbing her arms.
'I cannot control my dreams or what I say in them Sansa but believe me when I say I'll not let you down.'
I hope you enjoyed this! I wrote it in one go! Sleep tight my loves!