Chapter 26

I want to lick your cunt.

Hermione flushed when she read the message on the Galleon. It was all too real. Everything about their interactions was laced with an element of sexual tension. And now she couldn't rid herself of the image of Malfoy's head between her legs, fingers parting her knees, digging into her flesh, grey eyes watching her. She bit her lip and squeezed her thighs together.

It was all wrong.

Malfoy wasn't for her.

She peeked out the window at the mid-morning daylight. This was the first time since Fortescue's that they were contacting each other during the day. She flicked her eyes over to Ron and Harry, who had each taken turns with the Horcrux books and given up. It had been so long since they'd had a proper lead and the trio was frustrated.

Ron busied himself making a parchment airplane. He noticed Hermione watching him and gave her a warm smile. It was nice, but she didn't feel the thrill of excitement and desire when around Malfoy. She supposed that was due to the nature of their relationship.

In a nutshell, Ron was safe, Malfoy was not. Ron she could trust, Malfoy she could not. Ron was loyal and funny, but he wasn't intellectually stimulating. Malfoy was sharp and she really enjoyed talking with him. Ron she had to browbeat into submission like his mother did. Malfoy was… well he was Malfoy. Sometimes she didn't know whether she was his handler or if he was hers. Ron was awkward sexually around her, sweet and unsure. With Malfoy, she was afraid if she let her guard down for one hot minute they'd be shagging like rabbits.

She chastised herself for even comparing the two of them at all. There was no reason to compare them. She looked down at the message again.

I want to lick your cunt.

She had no snarky retort. None whatsoever. Only a dull ache between her legs.

15 min.

Malfoy was a bad choice for so many reasons. And he wasn't even a choice to begin with. He shouldn't be on the table for discussion. Not even near the table.

No tables.

The problem was, and Hermione felt this acutely, that the more time she spent with Malfoy, the more interested she was in him, and the less interested she was in Ron – at least romantically speaking. And that wasn't fair to her longtime friend. There were plenty of young women fighting for the Order who would be open to dating him.

Maybe it was better to not have any romantic entanglements until after the war if she couldn't sort through her feelings. Malfoy was off-limits and she was only going to hurt Ron by mooning over someone she couldn't have anyway.

"I have a few things to do," Hermione told Ron and Harry, and stood, wondering whose estate plans he planned on giving them this time.

She hoped for the Lestrange plans, but would take what he was ready to give. The raid on Nott manor had gone without a hitch, and Kingsley was pleased with the list of informants Nott had been responsible for.

"Super-secret Order stuff?" Harry's bright green eyes shifted to hers, irritated. He had also given up on Horcruxes and was reading the Daily Prophet, feet propped up on a footrest.

She narrowed her eyes at him, having had quite enough of the friction over her role in leadership. In the beginning, they were proud of her. But they hoped that because of their friendship, she would be an opening to the inner workings of the Order no one else was privy too. When they saw she refused to share the classified information, they became resentful. Having shared everything since first year, her secrecy had caused a rift, and it was getting wider.

"Okay," she said, standing up. Ron glanced up at her combative tone. "We're having this out now. I'm tired of this passive aggressive shit."

"Having what out?" Ron asked, warily eyeing the fold of his parchment airplane.

"Do the two of you want me to step down?"

"What?" Harry lowered his newspaper.

"Do you want me to step down from leadership?" she repeated, putting her hands on her hips. "Is that what it would take for you both to stop throwing a tantrum every time I can't share something?"

Harry lowered his feet to the floor and set the paper on the footrest. "We don't-"

"You both resent me."

Harry clenched his jaw and Ron watched them silently. Ron didn't like Hermione knowing things they didn't, but it was harder for Harry. He hated being kept out of the loop in fifth year by Dumbledore, and sheltered from the Order's inner workings by the Weasleys.

"I don't see how I can win!" she continued, throwing her hands out. "If I stay in leadership, I can't share things with you and you get naffed off. So the only way to keep you two from getting angry is to step down. Is that what you want?"

She waited in silence while Harry glared at her. After a few moments his shoulders collapsed in defeat.

"I don't want you to step down," Harry said with a sigh, chastened.

"I don't either," Ron agreed.

"Well, good. Because I wasn't going to."

Harry's green eyes glittered at her from under the fringe of his messy black hair. "You shouldn't. You belong there," he sighed. "I'm sorry we were jerks." He flattened the paper down on the footrest. "It's hard being left in the dark. I always feel like my fate is being shaped by other people without me knowing."

Dammit, Harry.

She blinked, and tried to bury her feelings of how deeply she was betraying him.

"We still have the Horcruxes," Ron offered. Hermione felt a tug on her heart, and was grateful to him for bridging the gap between all of them, despite the topic.

"Yeah," Harry brightened. "The Horcruxes will always be our thing."

Ron groaned. "Please don't say 'always.' I'd like to be rid of them already."

Part of Hermione didn't. The quicker they found the Horcruxes, the closer Harry was to the end of his life. The Horcruxes bound them together and kept their friendship alive. But they could also tear them apart.

She took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on what was happening now. Harry and Ron would probably appreciate the fact that they weren't the only ones that had to be kept in the dark.

"Remus found out," Hermione added, shifting her gaze to him. "That's why I destroyed my notebook."

Ron's face fell. "So leadership knows now?"

"Nope," Hermione said with a smile. "I Obliviated him."

"You Obliviated Remus?" Harry's jaw dropped, and then a smug smile formed as he closed his mouth.

"Yup," she said, pleased with herself. "Horcrux knowledge is only shared on a need-to-know basis and Remus doesn't need to know."

Harry sniggered and continued reading from the paper again.

"I just wish the Horcrux search wouldn't be so bloody boring," Ron complained. "We have no leads."

"Well," Hermione turned to leave, "Hopefully something will turn up soon."

She was about to walk out the door when Harry startled and leaned forward, crinkling the newspaper. She looked back and he flattened out the paper on the footrest again, peering closely at a picture.

"Ron! Hermione!" Harry waved them over excitedly and they both rushed over, flanking him on either side to see what had him so worked up. "Look!"

She followed his index finger with her eyes and saw it was directed towards a picture of Dolores Umbridge, smiling for the cameras and shaking the hands of some other Ministry officials. She sniffed in disgust and examined the photo more closely, trying to understand what had him so excited.

"Harry, I don't underst–"

She sucked in a breath of air. Umbridge was wearing a locket. It looked exactly like the locket Regulus Black had left in the cave by the sea. She drew her gaze up to meet Ron's excited blue eyes. He noticed the locket as well. It had been months since they'd had anything new to work with about Horcruxes.

The three stood up at once and she shrieked. They all laughed and hugged each other, jumping up and down. Ron's wrist almost clobbered her in the chin as he gave a whoop.

"Breathe!" she gasped, caught in between their much larger frames. "I can't breathe!"

The trio broke apart, all smiles and laughter. Hermione glanced up at Ron and then at Harry, both were beaming down at her and then at each other.

This was good. This was right. This was how things were supposed to be between them. She wanted it to always be this way.

"I'll see if Kingsley can get us her home address and ward information," she offered, bubbling over with excitement.

"Shouldn't be too difficult to get the locket from her," Harry added with a devious smirk. "We managed to best her in fifth year without wands!"

Ron chuckled in reply. "She probably still has nightmares of being carried off by centaurs."

Umbridge had been found bound to a tree two days later by Hagrid, roughed up and hungry. The worst part of her ordeal was probably her having to thank the half-giant for setting her free.

"Can we set fire to everything pink in her house?" Harry joked.

"We'd have to burn the whole bloody thing then wouldn't we?" Ron turned back to him with a grin.

"One pink item, and we smash all her kitten themed flatware," Hermione declared with mock seriousness.

"I'm game," Ron answered, completely serious.

Harry protested Hermione's limitation. "Five pink items at least."

"I'll see you both later on tonight for planning," Hermione smiled and turned to leave when Ron grabbed her hand, pulling her back.

"Come here." His blue eyes were slightly hooded.

Ron had been too shy to try anything in front of Harry before; the good news must have emboldened him. Harry, still giddy, turned to the side, his cheeks red, and scratched the back of his head. When Ginny came over, Harry always left the room to snog her.

Hermione felt slightly embarrassed for him, and looked up at Ron, willing him to understand. But he tilted his head down and brushed her lips lightly. His hand pressed into her waist and he opened his mouth, trying to gain entrance into hers. She opened her lips slightly, swiping his tongue briefly with hers and then pulled away. His fingers tightened on her waist but he didn't try to hold her close.

A blush crept from her neck up to her cheeks and she whispered, "I've got to go."

She felt horrible that she was going off to meet with Malfoy directly after this. It didn't feel right. Not Ron's kiss, not rushing off to see Malfoy just after kissing Ron, and not the thrill of excitement she felt at the prospect of seeing Malfoy, instead of being alone with Ron.

"Sorry, Harry." She hoped Ron would take the hint for next time. Did she even want a next time?

"S'Alright!"

She squeezed Ron's hand affectionately, and ran out the door to Apparate to her Muggle bedroom.

Hermione arrived to see that for once, she was first. She stood dumbly, surveying her empty bedroom for a moment, and then walked over to sit on her bed. The mattress creaked as she lay down. Malfoy always chose her bed and she never got to sit on it. She lay her head down on the pillow and gazed up at the ceiling, grabbing one of her teddy stuffies and holding it to her chest. The house was so quiet. She thought of her absent parents and tears pricked her eyes. She sniffed and turned onto her side, bringing up her knees and cradling them with her arms.

Being so busy, she hadn't thought about her parents in a while.

It wouldn't do to be upset when Malfoy arrived, she'd be more vulnerable. To cheer herself up, she thought of Harry and Ron just moments ago, planning the destruction of Umbridge's house and laughed to herself. She breathed in. And then out.

Better.

She turned her head into the softness of her pillow. It smelled like Malfoy. A nice, woody, masculine scent, and she felt brief stirrings of desire as she slowly inhaled. She imagined his grey eyes staring at her from between her thighs.

Not good.

Hermione abruptly got up and walked over to her desk, plopping herself down in her chair with irritation. The wanker was still monopolizing her bed even if he wasn't physically present. She lifted a few items on her desk, seeing that they all belonged to her, just out of place. If he had another scroll for her, it wasn't here.

The crack of Apparition made Hermione jump.

"Expelliarmus!"

Her wand flew out of her hand and slammed into Malfoy's. She gasped in surprise as his grey eyes glittered dangerously down at her.