"Lord Kuro, Lady Shiro." Lyon Corbray intoned as he knelt on the plush red carpet before the thrones.
With smooth black hair and intense grey eyes, He was handsomely roguish with a strong jaw and muscled like a maiden's dream. It was unmistakable that he came from a fantasy world with how he was clad in full plate with a tabard.
And on his white tabard were three black ravens in flight holding three red hearts, the blazon of House Corbray of the Vale of Westeros.
"I present you this sword for Fenris to wield." Lyon announced, loudly enough for his voice to carry throughout the great hall, "One that would no doubt shock all Gamers in attendance into silence."
Shiro raised a gracefully shaped pale eyebrow, his icy-blue eyes looking on with great interest while seated beside him, Kuro felt intrigued enough to be roused from his relaxed posture- leaning forward in his seat for whatever this Gamer before them had in store.
Even Fenris joined his parents- stopping in his suckling on his mother's teat to look at Lyon.
And the knight didn't disappoint.
Upon Lyon's raised and outstretched armored palms appeared a sword that, as he had promised, did indeed shock every Gamer to silence as they cast their [Observe] on it.
Throbulator: A hand-and-a-half sword spell-forged by Lyon Corbray for Fenris. With a rounded head, the blade strongly resembles the male organ. The cross-guards and the hilt remove all doubt by being molded into the shape that are unmistakably penises, and for better grip, the hilt was molded with extr H. Enemies and Allies alike fear this sword. Enemies fear being slain in such an ignominious fashion, and allies fear being seen standing next to any man with four knobs.
420 + 69x (STR + DEX) slashing and thrusting Damage
MP 00000/42069
Effects:
Complete Rust Resistance
Complete Break Resistance
Bypasses 100% of all resistances
Blade never dulls or degrades
Disintegrates panties in a 40m radius when swung
Blade glows when pointed at virgins(male)
Hilt throbs when pointed at virgins(female)
Shoots thick vanilla cream from the hilt (Cost: 69 MP)
Gains +100% damage when wielder is wearing only a thong
Some Gamers paled considerably at that. Others began to mumble to each other about how to best split the loot that Lyon's corpse would have. But all their nervousness was for naught as both Shiro and Kuro began to laugh an honest laugh of mirth.
"You would be a bloody smear on the carpet if this wasn't the funniest thing we've received so far." Shiro commented with a light-hearted tone even while not joking one bit before he glanced at the 'sword' once again and broke out in peals of soft laughter- the sword floating off of Lyon's hands, and into Shiro's own inventory.
His tinkling melodic laughter and beautifully effeminate smiling face garnering mixed feelings in the pants of every 'straight' male that looked.
"You flatter me, my Lady." Lyon responded with a smile as he stood up, "I wish your growing family well, Lord Kuro, Lady Shiro."
And with a final bow, Lyon turned on his heels to meet the awed faces of his fellow Gamers.
Their cheering roars, raucous clapping and furious clapping met him as he descended the steps- a wide, victorious grin on his face. His arms spread wide like he was greeting the applause with open arms.
His gambit worked out.
"Thank you for your custom." Lyon greeted as he sold yet another of his swords. The Gamer in question handed him his payment- inventory-to-inventory.
With his superb advertisement in the form of his gift, business was booming for him and his smithing goods.
His swords, axes, armor and katanas… especially katanas… each and every single type of arms he forged sold like double-ended dildos at a lesbian convention.
With the mountains of money that he was making, he might be riding home in a star destroyer. Hell, with the money he had, why even ride home at all? He could just pay a Biomancer Gamer to make him into a Saiyan.
Lyon could hear the criers of King's Landing now.
'Our King Lyon Corbray, First of his Name, destroys the invading army with his Destructo Discs. Pisses on their corpses. News at Eleven.'
Just the thought was almost enough to make him giggle; but Lyon Corbray doesn't giggle, so he settled for humming the Dragon Ball theme as he went to have some dinner break before continuing his booming smithing business.
It would seem that once again, Lyon Corbray was going back to home a victor.
And to think, it was all because of his masterwork dildo sword.