Sterling Entry Log 36

"This ain't good." Sterling's twangy voice signals the start of another log, the electronic buzz soaked in worry. The image is unclear at first, just a bunch of flickering blue on what looks like dark clothing but the blinking is so rapid it's like looking at a strobe light. "Hang in there Skylar." Another dozen blinks.

"What happened?" Ikora's voice is off-screen, her calm demeanor masking entirely different emotions. Off in the distance the sounds of war – gunfire and explosions – are raging on, but they don't seem close. Maybe the Guardians are safe for the moment.

"I don't- it happened so fucking fast and-"

"Cayde, breathe. Calm down or you'll make your own wounds worse."

"I'm fine!" The Exo's shout is like a switch and the blue strobing light stops, a tried sigh echoing off the speakers as the view grows wider and wider till the scene encompasses three people, including the two speaking and the subject of their discussion. "There were snipers everywhere and after I got my leg chopped off I couldn't move very well. Skylar's shield got popped and then… then I think she stood in front of me when a sniper shot at me. One had already blown my hand off and she must have seen where it was coming from and knew…knew it would have hit me in the chest, if I'm reading the angle right. I still don't know how, but she managed to take it out before she collapsed onto the ground…"

Skylar is, in fact, on the ground, her helmet off, eyes closed and blood soaking into her armor directly under her rib cage on the right side. Her breathing is ragged, hitching at random intervals, and loud enough to be heard on the mic if one listens closely. One of her hands is clutched in Cayde's remaining one and it twitches along with the upper lip of the grimace on her face. The Exo is on one side of her, leg and arm still sparking, while Ikora is on the other, both leaning in a bit. She glances to the feed as it zooms out, frowning.

"Anything?"

"I was able to clot the back part of the wound and make it shallower, but it ran her almost all the way through. The blood flow should slow considerably at least... But I fear that...I can't... If the Traveler is freed she can come back but I don't know if she'll be the same…" Sterling's voice grows pained and Cayde stiffens. Because she'd be dying without Light, it would be like her first revival and most likely she'd be a blank slate once more with no memories at all. Ikora shakes her head.

"You've done the best you can," she comforts the Ghost. Cayde just seems to wilt at the words, his hand running a thumb over Skylar's.

"I shouldn't have let her come with us…" he whispers and Ikora turns to him and sighs. She reaches out and finds the latches on Skylar's chest plate, methodically unclipping them as she speaks.

"You know as well as I do that even if you'd left her at The Farm, she would have found a way here." It's a fact that Cayde doesn't seem to like, his jaw wrenching into a frown that the Warlock ignores. "Just because Sterling can't help her right now doesn't mean we can't. Let's get her armor off so we can see what we're working with."

They do just that, taking the next four or so minutes to get her chest armor off carefully and then cut back her reinforced leather undershirt. The feed catches the wound in question easily and the sight of it draws a small, pained sound from the Exo that Ikora pretends not to hear even as she glances at him briefly.

It's a hole for sure, and as Ikora grimaces, closing her eyes for a moment and then moving to unclasp Skylar's cloak. Cayde twitches surprised when she suddenly rips the worn cloth in half.

"What are you-"

"We need to put pressure on it," she states over his question, ripping the cloak up into a few more slightly smaller sections before pressing one to the visible wound to try and stem the trickling lines of blood. Slowly, the gray cloth darkens to rust brown near the middle, but, more importantly, the pressure starts Skylar awake. She lets out a pained groan, her hand clenching around Cayde's tighter, jolting him out of what seems to be a spiraling train of thought. He jerks his head up to see dazed golden eyes looking at him.

"Cayde…" she whispers, and in reply she gets his one remaining hand letting go of her own and reaching out to touch her cheek.

"I'm right here Sky."

She flinches again, not from his touch but from Ikora's hands pressing down harder. Her legs jerk, twisting on the ground to try and get away from it as she lets out an agonized breath as if she's trying to not scream. She'd felt pain before – over and over and over again – just like any Guardian, but it's normally only for a few moments before being healed.

"That hurts," Skylar hisses, her fingers digging at the concrete rooftop.

Ikora places a free hand on one leg to press it down, to stop it from moving because it's aggravating the wound. Cayde sees it too and strokes her cheek, hushing her.

"I know, Sky, I know, but you need to try and stay still, okay?" His attention is so completely on his girlfriend that he doesn't see Ikora frown at the blood starting to soak through the cloth under her hands, a look of anguish running across her face as she closes her eyes again. She isn't Cayde, but the Warlock cares for the Hunter on the ground nearly as much. Skylar's her agent, her friend, someone she's always counted on and… and she is going to die if they can't figure something out, that much is clear on her face. Her eyes flick open to look at Cayde and then away again – she can't tell him.

"Ikora!" Zavala's voice shouts from off screen and she turns slightly behind her. She's being called away, but she hesitates, her hand refusing to leave the wound. After a moment, a synthetic one touches her own. Cayde tilts his head at his friend and teammate and then jerks his chin in the direction one can assume Zavala is at.

"He wouldn't call you away if it wasn't important," he murmurs. "Go… I've got her."

His voice is straining, trying to stay even and calm so she'll do what she must. A long sigh leaves the woman and she hands over the last few swatches of cloak before slowly standing up. She glances once more at Skylar, who is watching her and Cayde the best she can from her position. Ikora gives her a small, encouraging smile and then hurries off screen to her team leader.

That leaves the Exo alone with the woman he loves, slowly bleeding out in front of him. He scoots slightly closer and takes Ikora's place, pressing his hand down on the wound again and watching the soaked cloth start to bubble liquid up at the pressure, staining his glove. A shudder wracks his spine and his jaw snaps shut, golden light flickering within as his face contorts in its metal prison from pain. Skylar's closest hand reaches out and touches him, making him flinch in surprise as her hand lays against his still-intact knee. He closed his eyes for a moment, his broken arm moving slightly as if wishing to touch her hand, but he doesn't have the ability to do that.

"I should have gotten you better armor," he whispers. "I should have had someone else come with us."

Should have, should have, should have . It means nothing and everything all at once, setting the blame on everyone and no one, but mostly himself.

"We'll get through this though," he says after a pause, looking at her again and trying to smile, trying to make himself believe it. Skylar's hand twitches on his knee, and she swallows. The feed finally moves, panning to the right in order to see them both better now that Ikora is gone. It leaves Cayde front and center, but also gives a better view of Skylar now that it's zoomed in some.

"I'm sorry," she says finally. "I keep doing this to you. I guess you had a right to try and keep me out of this… terrible luck."

'This' being making him worry, making him frantic, and making him relive what he was just getting over: her pain, her suffering, and her death. Cayde shakes his head, stopping her from going on.

"We already talked about this, and you were right," he points out. "We both knew the risks going in… Besides, it's going to be fine. Just have to kill Garry and get the Traveler uncaged… Just need to stop the bleeding." They're quiet for a few moments after that, as they both try to come to terms with their situation. Skylar takes in a deep breath and her eyes roll up to look at the smoke-filled sky, searching for the stars.

"I… had another one of those dreams," she whispers, apparently not wishing to talk about what will and what won't happen. Cayde's eyes flicker brighter for a moment, knowing what she wants – a distraction from the pain – and humors her despite his own emotional turmoil. He reaches over and grabs another swatch of cloth, replacing the one from before.

"Yeah? What was it about?" He doesn't question if her dreams are just dreams or somehow memories this time. He just seems to want to make sure she keeps talking. Skylar coughs slightly, wincing at the jolt.

"It was… happier than any of the others," she tells him. "It was snowing again, but this time… it wasn't cold, it was warm, bathed in amber light with twinkling blue and white lights on a tree."

She takes in another breath and Cayde twitches at every hitch in it.

"I think… I think I had a little sister… she called me… called me..." Skylar blinks, trailing off, and Cayde looks at her as she fights with something he can't see. "A name I can't… I can't remember. She gives me this book dressed in ribbon and I'm happy because it's my favorite."

She coughs again and this time she does whine in pain. Cayde hushes her again, time skating by and eclipsing five minutes before he reaches for another bundle of cloth. The time it takes for each piece to become fully discolored isn't getting worse, but it's not getting any better either. He opens his mouth to say something, but the sudden sound of pounding footsteps pulls his gaze away.

Once more the feed expands, farther out than before as Z and Haar run into the scene, Ikora and Zavala not far behind. Z curses, closing the distance and crouching beside Skylar, Haar at his shoulder in seconds. He glances at the spot where Cayde is pressing his hand, at the bloody streaks down her torso. With his helmet in place, his expression is hidden as he looks back at Skylar.

"Took too long, didn't we?" he asks. "You guys already took them all out, didn't ya?"

His lighthearted comment is referring to before, when they'd all spoken before splitting up. It seems heavier now and Z carefully puts a hand over her own as she smiles tentatively at him.

"Told you to hurry if you wanted some." As she talks, Haar leans down to try and get a better look at the wound, watching as the cloth slowly turns color. His shoulders tense, but he doesn't have anything to say. He doesn't need to ask to know what's already there. Z makes a small humming sound and moves his hand to hold hers better before looking over at Cayde and probably eyeing the missing limbs.

"What the hell happened? You look like you got put through a shredder." His joke falls flat. He doesn't want to be crushed under the weight of the air surrounding them, but it's heavy all the same. Cayde seems to agree, letting out a small single laugh at Z's attempt.

"Not to worry – I'm going to use this as a chance to update things. Rocket arm. Gotta have that."

"Yeah…" Z looks back at Skylar and in the silence, Haar finally speaks.

"Is the portal ready?" His voice is oddly stern, flat, and emotionless like some Exos can be, but not him, not normally. Z's head whips up to look at his teammate, his other hand clenching tight around the Last Word hand cannon.

"What? Why are you-"

"We kill Gaul and free The Traveler," Haar snaps out, still looking towards the glowing oval behind Cayde that the feed hadn't gotten in the frame till now. "We do that, none of this will have happened."

With The Traveler free, Light would return to the Guardians and their Ghosts, and then everything can be fixed. Healed. Saved. Haar jerks his head to the portal.

"We need to go."

Z tilts his head down, looking to his and his best friend's hands clenched together, before sighing. Haar is right, and he knows he can't stay here.

"Sorry Sky, I guess you'll have to sit this one out too." He doesn't like leaving her out of things – she is their friend, their sniper. She is family and to leave her like this…

"I-I know," Skylar's voice cracks and Haar, of all people, flinches at the sound, the movement barely visible under the heavy armor. Skylar's eyes move from Z to his and she manages another smile. "Just make sure to punt Ghaul off his ship for me? Pay back and all."

Z snorts, laughing slightly, and nods his head. Haar tilts his own before finally speaking to her.

"Never tried to shoulder charge something that big and hope to move it very far, but I'll make sure he knows it's from you – with love of course."

That makes Skylar laugh, the sound lighthearted for two ticks on the clock before it's broken by a cough and an agonized wince. All three men stiffen and only Z is able to relax even a little once she calms. He takes in another deep breath, squeezes her hand and then lets go, standing.

"We'll be back soon," he tells them both, and then to Cayde as he steps around Skylar: "Do what you can to keep her on this side. We'll be as fast as we can."

His Vanguard leader stares at him for a long moment, the truth of the situation passing between them before finally, Cayde gives a tight nod.

"She's not going anywhere."

"Better not." It almost sounds like a threat, but Z doesn't stick around to see what Cayde's reaction would be before he's darting forward and through the portal without pause. Haar is right behind him, ripping his Invective shotgun off his back as he passes through.

The feed is able to inch back in after that, encompassing the three leaders of the once-great Tower as Ikora and Zavala walk closer, approaching the barely lucid Hunter as her wound is covered with another cloth. Skylar's eyes have drooped, her breathing slowly trailing out with a hitch more prominently there. It's as if she'd been doing everything she could to make it seem like she was okay for her friends and now that they're gone, that effort was showing. She shivers, her hand twitching on Cayde's knee.

Six minutes pass where no one moves, and then Cayde grinds his mouth plats together and moves to grab another piece of cloth only to find his pile is gone, leaving nothing but blood-soaked clumps. He panics at that, scrambling for anything to use, before simply pressing his own hand over the weeping wound.

"Come on, just, stop – stop damn it!" He's losing his mind, his cool, everything because it's happening again. His worst nightmares, his deepest fears right in front of him. He has to do something, anything –

Ikora returns to her place across from him and this time, it's her hand that touches his, only to slide to his wrist and tug up. He flinches, surprised, before yanking his hand loose again and glaring at her. Ikora's shoulders drop and her brows pull together, making a line appear between them. "Cayde… that's not going to help her… we can't…"

"There has to be something… I have to do something . I can't… I can't just…" He can't even finish his thought and Ikora draws her hand back, unable to help her friends and ashamed of it because she can't even find the words to comfort him. They can't do anything, not here, not without proper supplies or doctors. All they can do is...

"You can be there for her, till the end." Zavala's steady unbending voice seems to lighten the air, as if he'd taken some of the weight onto his own shoulders. Both of his team members just stare at him as he crouches down and – as if she weighs nothing at all – picks Skylar up in his arms. One would have thought she'd scream or cry or jerk in pain, but this time she doesn't so much as move her hand. Cayde starts to protest, opening his mouth only to close it as he meets the awoken's eyes. They've known each other long enough – too long some might say – that words weren't always needed. Something passes between them and Cayde understands, slowly moving the best he can to sit down instead of crouch. He lets his back rest against the small wall that edges the roof he'd been next to and bends his one leg.

The Titan – the leader of all Guardians, the stern and calculating man – takes the steps needed to deliver the broken amber-haired woman to his friend, dispensing her onto his lap with the care one might think him incapable of before straightening. He steps back as Cayde shifts her slightly with one arm, curling her sideways against his torso and tucking her head against his shoulder. The position won't help stop the bleeding, but at this point there's nothing that will. Zavala looks at Ikora, his eyes flicking off to the right and she stands as well, nodding her head.

"We… will make sure the area is clear. Let us know if you need anything, Cayde," Zavala says, quieter than before, a frown on his face as he looks at the two Hunters. There is remorse there, a knowing finality that states he's already made up his mind about the outcome. Z and Haar can try, but there are no guarantees. They walk from the frame without a word, away from the Hunters, and with them gone the feed zooms back in, closer to the two remaining and Sterling lets out a sad little chirp.

"Skylar?" Cayde whispers, his electronic voice flagging slightly. The huntress blinks slowly through half lidded eyes.

"Yeah?" Her voice has grown tired, using all of her remaining strength to hold herself together and awake, one of her hands curling into the fabric of his reinforced hoodie.

"What was the name of the book? The one you saw in your dream?" It's a strange question to ask, but he asks it for the same reason she told him in the first place: for a distraction. She sighs, clearly trying to remember as she presses her cheek harder into his shoulder.

"I think… hm. The Once and Future King . That was the name." She lets out a small huff. "I can remember that but… not what she called me – she said my name and I-" She coughs again, hand clenching harder into his hoodie, and Cayde winces, his one existing hand moving over her torso to cup the back of her hand and steady her.

"You don't need that name," Cayde grumbles, threading his fingers into her bright hair, "You will always be Skylar – Skyla, to me."

"Selfish," she whispers, what might have been a laugh in it at one time lingering at her lips. "You're right, though. I wish I knew her name …"

"Maybe you'll remember someday."

She takes in another deep breath and blows it back out.

"Maybe…" She shivers suddenly, and it must have hurt to do so, but still, she shows no signs of it. She might be past that point by now. "It's cold…" she complains and Cayde pulls his leg closer and presses his cheek hollow against the crown of her head.

"Don't worry, I'll keep you warm – that's what I do remember?"

She was always so easily cold, even when she didn't feel it, and so he had always curled up around her, tricking his body's heating systems into thinking he was cold. She gives a gentle hum at that and Cayde shuts his eyes against the pain that eats away at him. He needs a distraction, something to keep his mind away from the inevitable. He was losing her again. All over again. He couldn't do it. Even if her body came back her mind would…She might not remember herself, remember him. He just couldn't.

"I … I wanted to ask you something." He pauses, waiting, and then finally after a heart stopping moment:

"Mm'k."

"When this is over," he curls his fingers into her hair tighter, "Will you move in with me? No more sleepovers just… living together." He'd regretted it, when he'd thought she was dead; he'd regretted never asking her that, thinking of all the moments they'd missed. "I want… When you're not on a mission I want to come home after a long day and know you'll be there to greet me, and to be able to do the same for you. I want it to be our home, not just mine. Would you like that?"

A fragile dream flung out into the open where it could be crushed oh so easily. He waits and waits for a good two minutes for her to reply, to give any type of answer. Sterling makes a small sound that echoes over the mic and it's enough to have Cayde pulling away and opening his eyes.

"Sky?"

Her eyes are barely open anymore. In fact at first glance, they appear closed, but they are twitching as if fighting to rise again. It doesn't stop the panic that floods over his body, or the way it tenses, his one hand gripping the back of her head and leaving him little way of doing much else. He watches, unable to turn away as her chest rises and falls in slow tired patterns. When he can't watch anymore, when panic and grief rise up and crush the dream he'd held out, he leans down and presses his mouth plates against her forehead and lets out a long breath that plays with amber strands of hair.

"I love you," he tells her, "I will never stop loving you, even after we're gone, even after the sun flickers and dies."

He's told her before over and over but there's a need to tell her again, if only so she can hear it one more time – just once more. He doesn't get an answer, but it doesn't look like he was expecting one either.

"Don't go…please Skyla." He's never begged before, but it's clear he would for the rest of his life if worked. A minute ticks by. Then another and another. A low grinding sound ratcheting up from his throat out into the open, mimicking a sob. Her chest is hardly moving any more, the hand that had been gripping his hoodie has gone slack against his chest, and he's noticed. That agonized sound that an Exo can't make right, but still tries to anyway seems to linger on the feed's mic. "Skylar…"

"By The Nine!" Ikora's voice off screen has Cayde flinching away, just enough for his eyes to look off towards where the portal had been.

There's a loud boom, and the camera pans in a frantic motion that rocks the frame for a moment. The Traveler is glowing, its caging vices snapping into pieces as a bright yellow-lit form of a giant Cabal faces it like a smoke-born demon. As if made from holy power, the Traveler banishes it with so little effort it's stunning. The sphere-like being pulses blue, the white glow around it expanding and expanding and then, like a great tidal wave bright blue tinted light, comes charging down towards the screen so fast all the little Ghost can do is blink.

Cayde's exclamation is lost among the static that overtakes the mic as the light turns the screen as blank as fresh paper. A high-pitched sound rings in the ears of the viewer, the numbers on the clock tick up once, twice, and then the entire thing clicks to black in an instant.

I almost cried when I wrote this chapter...
Thanks for reading!