Mr. Gardiner had a pressing need to return to his family and his business, but he felt no real compunctions about trusting his nieces for half a day to the care of two children of earls and the master of the biggest estate in Derbyshire. He returned to London in the Darcy coach, briefly wishing he could witness the hubbub that was about to ensue in Longbourn, but got over his disappointment by imagining his sister's voice upon hearing her least-favorite daughter was engaged to 10,000 a year.
Everyone left mid‑morning after another hearty breakfast. Mr. Bingley had spent the night writing missives to his staff in London and Netherfield to try to prepare for their arrival. Everyone assumed their conditions might be a bit rough with the short notice, but it was not as if the Netherfield manor was the middle of some savage wilderness. Lady Catherine had sent several her own servants off early that morning with the missives along with her own instructions, so she thought all would be well.
Bingley took his own coach and offered places to Anne and Georgiana. The rest took Lady Catherine's largest (and to be honest, most ornate) coach and six. They traversed the fifty miles of good road in good order, and much as Mr. Collins had some months earlier, they arrived at four o'clock, albeit in much better equipage.
Elizabeth imagined Kitty and Lydia were probably staring out the window wondering who could possibly be in such a fine coach, which would naturally trigger their mother into raptures about all the matrimonial wonders that would befall them. Elizabeth and Jane had to somehow deal with the mental contradiction involved in thinking that even though their mother was invariably silly, and even though most of her schemes were hare-brained and failure prone, and even though most of her efforts caused more harm than good – in the end, she had been right. Her daughter would be married to one of the richest men in England. Of course, it was the wrong man, the wrong daughter, the wrong scheme, the wrong time and the wrong circumstances – but still 10,000 A YEAR AND LIKELY MORE!
As they pulled into the drive at Longbourn that Elizabeth had left less than two months earlier, she looked around and noticed that she was no longer coming home. She had expected some sort of strong reaction to homecoming, both to her beloved Longbourn and her long-missed family; but in the end, she felt little more than impatience. She knew she would have to endure a month of aggravation before she could claim her rightful place, but she had definitely made the transition from daughter to wife in her mind that she had always expected to perform on her wedding day.
Elizabeth Bennet found that 'home' was attached to the man sitting nervously beside her, regardless of where they happened to be.
When the coach came to a stop, and the footman opened the door and placed the step; she and Jane both took a deep breath, and barely refrained from yelling 'Once more into the breach', thinking that tradition would not be appreciated by Lady Catherine, and it would probably scare Georgiana to death.
Darcy and the colonel both exited, then they handed out Lady Catherine, then Anne, Georgiana then finally each of their ladies – one committed, and one only vaguely hoped.
Elizabeth felt that if she could see and hear through walls, she would be no better informed of what was happening in the drawing room, aside from the matter of timing, and the ever-present question of her father's presence. In this case, since he would guess that ridiculousness and folly was likely to follow Lady Catherine de Bourgh, she would give two to one that he would make the trek to witness the follies. Was he in for a shock!
They had decided to enter by precedence as was proper, so Lady Catherine was followed by Darcy and Elizabeth, then the colonel and Jane, then Anne and Georgiana. Bingley had elected to depart directly to Netherfield for obvious reasons.
Once inside, Elizabeth found her mother and sisters mute – entirely mute – silent as the tomb. They were confused for certain since Elizabeth was on the arm of or well-known sworn enemy, Jane was on the arm of an entirely unknown officer, there were two other completely unknown ladies, and a matron who looked like she could easily take tea with the queen and criticize the pastries.
By prearranged design, Elizabeth ended up in front, her hand still quite firmly on Darcy's arm, and said, "Papa, Mama, Mary, Kitty, Lydia – may I present my companions, but if you have no objections, I will not go strictly by precedence. First, we have Lady Catherine de Bourgh. You may remember our cousin Collins mentioning him from time to time. She is the mistress of Rosings, and eldest daughter to the former Earl of Matlock."
Kitty and Lydia both giggled but stopped instantly as if slapped when Lady Catherine turned a frightening stare on them.
Lady Catherine nodded her head regally, while the family members gave bows and curtsies in what they guessed to be the proper amount of deference, although to be honest, none of them had the slightest idea what that was, so they simply emulated Mr. Collins.
Elizabeth continued, deliberately ignoring William for the moment. "Miss Anne de Bourgh, I believe our cousin also mentioned, and you see her with Miss Georgiana Darcy, whom I believe was mentioned frequently. Standing with Jane is Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, the second son of the present Earl of Matlock. And of course, you all remember my intended, Mr. Darcy. Lady Catherine, ladies, gentleman – our family. Mr. Thomas Bennet, Mrs. Fannie Bennet, Miss Mary Bennet, Miss Catherine Bennet and Miss Lydia Bennet."
Elizabeth found herself quite enjoying the look of stunned silence and confusion on her family. She knew perfectly well that she would not be enjoying it five minutes hence (or three weeks hence for that matter), but for the moment it seemed as if her news had not even registered. All her family members once again bowed, curtsied, and generally tried to do the polite thing.
Mr. Bennet, for once, was not carrying his sardonic smirk. He looked amused, but also looked quite confused, as if the world no longer made sense to him. Of course, with the amount of time he spent in his bookroom, it was entirely possible he could go in there one day never to return, making him like the explorers who got lost in the jungles of Africa for years at a time and forget how to live in civilized society – but she thought him not quite ready for that.
It was a race to see who would notice her announcement first and Mrs. Bennet won.
"Intended? Intended! INTENDED! Oh, my, I always knew how it would be. I was sure you could not be …" but then her voice strangled off to nothing as she finally worked out that it was not her most beautiful daughter who was engaged, nor was the prospective groom the ever amiable Mr. Bingley, who was entirely absent, nor was… well, nothing was as it should be. Nothing at all. How could Lizzy … ?
More out of habit than an anything else she started to call for her salts but strangled off midway. Jane started to leave the colonel's side, but was stopped by a glance from Lady Catherine, who betook herself to walk over and say, "Calm yourself, Mrs. Bennet. I realize this is quite a shock, and in fact, I can sympathize with your plight. I must admit that I was quite overcome by the news myself, but all will be well."
All seemed to be going astonishingly well, when Lydia finally overcame her shock to say, "Lizzy married to dour Mr. Darcy… what a joke!"
Lady Catherine simply turned her head to stare at the upstart with a frown that could compete with a gorgon, and Elizabeth was quite surprised to see Lydia abruptly stop laughing and start cringing.
Hill had by then entered the parlor, and Lady Catherine, acting in the only way she was constitutionally capable of, simply took charge of the situation.
"Mrs. Hill – I presume you are the housekeeper?"
"Yes, my lady," Hill said with complete composure. Anyone who had survived twenty years under Fanny Bennet's authority was not to be intimidated by the daughter of an Earl.
"Are you a sensible woman?"
Elizabeth answered for her. "She is, indeed, my lady. She has been the only voice of reason on the entire estate."
"Very well. We shall require tea for everyone in the room except the two youngest. They are back to the schoolroom. They will not be out until they learn to act with the decorum expected of the sisters of my niece, the soon to be Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy."
As expected, Lydia let out a loud wail, saying, "I will do no such thing. I am going to Meryton to visit with the officers," and then they jumped up to walk out the door.
Lady Catherine watched for Mr. Bennet to take some action, any action, but when he started smiling at the scene, she just shook her head and gave up.
Just before Lydia got to the door, she said, "You have a choice to make, young misses. I will not allow you to bring ruin on my family, which you most assuredly would if you kept on in the wild manner you have been accustomed to. Oh yes! I know it all, from unimpeachable sources. At this point, your choice is the schoolroom or the nursery. That is the choice before you… Make it NOW!"
The sudden bit of iron in her voice at the last word seemed to finally stop the girls.
Lydia said, "Papa, please tell this horrid lady she cannot speak to us this way in our own home."
For a moment, for just the tiniest fraction of a moment, Elizabeth thought, and hoped, and prayed that her father would snap out of his indolence long enough to take charge of his own family. Alas, having both known him well all her life, but not really known him at all, she saw the very moment when he accepted the course of action that would involve the least trouble and expense. She could almost see the thought forming in his mind, 'well, if Lizzy wants to take charge of my family, who am I to argue.' It could easily be said that she was not surprised, but she was sorely disappointed.
Mrs. Bennet had taken a seat, but remained blissfully silent, for which Elizabeth was eternally grateful.
Darcy said, "Mr. Bennet, I believe we have things to discuss."
"I suppose we do, Mr. Darcy," he said, and then with a quick and mostly chaste kiss to Elizabeth's fingers, the two were gone.
Lydia and Kitty were still standing at the door, and Lady Catherine asked, "Do you seriously consider yourself up to a contest of wills with me, Miss Lydia."
"Mama, tell her to leave me alone," Lydia whined, setting both Jane and Elizabeth's teeth on edge.
Jane said, "Colonel, did you bring the things I asked."
"I did."
The distracting question threw everyone off kilter, and the colonel stepped into the breach. "My aunt has given you a choice to make, young ladies. Since I am an actual soldier, and not the puffed-up dandies in the militia, and I am the son of an Earl, will you take me at my word on something?"
In the press and bustle of the drawing room, Lydia had forgotten that she had an true redcoat in the room, although she had at least made the correct evaluation that she had no chance at all prying the man away from Jane – since nobody in the world could pry any man from Jane.
She gave a very ill-mannered nod of her head in reply, which Lady Catherine decided to let go for the moment.
Elizabeth was also curious what scheme Jane had cooked up, although from the looks of things, she thought Lady Catherine might be aware.
The colonel walked over to get a satchel he had brought along that had been quietly placed in the room by a footman during the hubbub of their introduction. He opened it, pulled out a leather pouch and threw it on a nearby table with a satisfying thunk that obviously sounded like coins. "That, Miss Lydia is the amount you spend each year. I am reliably informed that you have £50, that your mother routinely supplements you and Miss Bennet with even more, and you routinely steal things from your sisters."
"I do not …" she started to scream but found herself unable to match the colonel's stare.
He next pulled out a length of rope and threw it on the table. "This is what thieves get in the regulars."
She gulped at the implication, which lacked any subtlety at all.
The colonel pulled out another leather pouch and threw it on the table. It was about a third the size of the original, and said, "That is what your actual pin money is… what your sisters live on."
She had enough sense to stay quiet while he reached into again, and removed another pouch about a quarter the size of the last one, and said, "This is what a lieutenant in the militia lives on once he pays for his board and such. Their wives have no servants at all. Their children either get fed by the hand of their wives or literally starve."
She stared at the items, wondering if it could possibly be true.
The colonel went on. "Of course, about one officer in ten or twenty is like Mr. Wickham, who you are familiar with. From him, you would get no money at all. You would likely get a child, but no money, no marriage, no nothing. Is this truly what you want?"
She gulped, entirely silent for once.
"So, which is it to be, Miss Catherine… Miss Lydia. Schoolroom or nursery. Do you truly think yourselves equal to a battle of wills with both my aunt and me?"
The examples had very deliberately been as stark and negative as he could make them. Jane had said that was the only thing likely to get through to them, and her word was entirely good enough for the colonel. His next step would have been to take them on a tour of some of the widows he knew in dire straits, and if that did not work, he had planned a trip to the seedier parts of London.
That looked like it would be unnecessary, at least for the moment, as Lydia just said, "Schoolroom."
He nodded slightly sympathetically. "Miss Lydia… Miss Catherine… You are both young, as is my niece Miss Darcy. Young people make stupid mistakes. It would take all day to list some of the stupid things my cousin Darcy and I did as boys. However, you are at the age where mistakes have consequences. The job of your elders is to protect you from those consequences. Take heart. Your choices will be far better once you have learned a few lessons. You will thank me for this little lecture in a year or two."
Lydia scowled at him, but it was hardly sufficient to do anything other than make it difficult for him to keep from laughing. No child's scowl would match the scowl of a man shooting at you from ten yards away.
Lady Catherine said, "Your new governess will be here in two days. I will be evaluating your education tomorrow. For the moment, go and see to the comfort of the schoolroom. It probably could use some cleaning and organizing."
Much to everyone's surprise, the two meekly left the room. Nobody had any idea that it would last, but it at least gave them some peace. Elizabeth looked to her mother, but she seemed to be in some shock and unwilling to oppose Lady Catherine… not that anybody was likely to oppose the lady when she had her dander up anyway.
Darcy walked back into the room with a smile on his face, the conference with Mr. Darcy over surprisingly quickly. Once again, Elizabeth was undecided whether she was happy her father had apparently refrained from extracting his share of amusement at her intended's expense; or sad that he had obviously just accepted whatever settlement William had proposed. There was no doubt the settlement would be far more generous than she could ever have expected, but it would have been nice if the vary last act as her father had been to put some effort into insuring her future felicity.
Such maudlin thoughts could not however survive the smile on the face of William, and it took but a moment with his hands back in hers for all to be right with the world.
She gave him a squeeze, and then walked over to her mother. "Mama – you are to have one daughter married – very well married. Our wedding is to be on the 13th of June. I know it is a surprise to all, but I love my intended very dearly. Are you happy for me?"
Elizabeth could see the thoughts going through her head about carriages, pin money, dresses and houses and town; and she could just as well see the moment when the lady managed to squelch each thought. Elizabeth had no idea whether it was because she was finding the thoughts would be unseemly to voice in front of Lady Catherine, whether she was just generally intimidated by the company, or if she just had nothing to say.
She finally, after quite some time as Lady Catherine simply watched patiently asked timidly, "You love him?"
"Yes, Mama. I do. He is the best man I have ever known, and I love him dearly."
"That is good. Who would have thought?"
Then she looked at the man, and regained a bit of her old sass, "Mr. Darcy, I do hope you will forgive me for disliking you so intensely?"
Jane was worried by the incivility, but Elizabeth took the question entirely in stride, knowing he would answer correctly.
"Your disapprobation was well-earned, Mrs. Bennet. No forgiveness is necessary from you, and I do hope you will forgive me my churlish manners when I was in the county."
"Oh, pish!" she said, regaining a bit of her vigor.
Elizabeth said, "He has apologized and made amends, Mama. All is well."
Elizabeth could see the strain in her mother of having to keep the joy and advantages of the match inside, and expected a full hour or more of talk about the benefits of having a daughter well married, and decided to take pity on her dear Mama and allow her wit to flow long enough to dampen it a bit.
"Fitzwilliam… Lady Catherine… Perhaps it is time for you to retire. We will see you in the morning for breakfast."
Elizabeth found that, much to her surprise, Georgiana and Anne had made the acquaintance of Mary while the rest of the drama was unfolding. She felt somewhat guilty that all the traditionally ignored ladies had congregated like for like, but she gave herself leave to repay any debt of attention in the near future.
As things quieted down, she could tell that she had interrupted a discussion of music between Georgiana and Mary with Anne simply looking on, so she said, "Georgie – there is a nice pianoforte at Netherfield. Mary will be your sister in a month. Perhaps you could take her to Netherfield and become acquainted?"
The suggestion was twofold, and even though she had just thought of it, she was gratified to see William saw the wisdom of the move immediately. Mary was eighteen years old, while Georgiana was Kitty's age and Anne was a fully grown woman. They were all to be related soon. If they could not manage to acquaint and entertain themselves without Jane and Elizabeth nursemaiding them, they had no hope of surviving in society.
She turned to William and said, "You should return for supper."
He nodded with a smile and quirked his eyebrow in a small signal that basically said, 'If nobody else was here I would kiss you senseless.'
Mary looked somewhat frightened at the suggestion, and Elizabeth could see Jane preparing to offer to smooth the way, so she shook her off. It was time for the younger siblings to stand on their own six feet.
She said, "Richard – you will come for supper as well."
The realization that she was being even more dictatorial than Lady Catherine gave her a brief pang, but it did not last long.
She winked at Lady Catherine, and said, "I thank you for your able assistance, my lady, but I believe I need to speak to my parents now."
"That seems wise, Elizabeth. I will go see what a mess Mr. Bingley has made of things."
Elizabeth had to laugh, forgetting her mother for a moment.
Mrs. Bennet said, "Mr. BINGLEY?" but Jane said quite forthrightly, "Mama, we are friends but nothing more and I would beg you to take me at my word."
"But …" she started, and Elizabeth fearing the worst thought to hush her, but Jane beat her to it.
"Mama – Mr. Bingley is not a bad man, but he is not for me," and then for the first time she looked fiercely at her mother with a look that would brook no argument, and continued, "That is the last word on the subject to me or anybody. Am I understood?"
Much to everyone's surprise, Mrs. Bennet nodded. Elizabeth and Jane considered it a temporary victory at best, but since they had never even had one of those with their mother, they thought it was good enough for the moment.
Nobody really wondered why Elizabeth had invited the colonel back. Mrs. Bennet would eventually work it out, but probably not for a few days.
With that, the three ladies of the house started everyone moving. Anne, Mary, and Georgiana had quit paying any attention to anyone else some time earlier, and they were already halfway out the door and asking for their outerwear before Darcy and the colonel even started to move.
As they all moved towards the door, Elizabeth waited until just the right moment to yank William around into a hidden alcove and gave him a kiss that would almost certainly have brought on a heart attack in a lesser man. Fortunately though, he survived and even managed to walk to the carriage in a straight line… mostly straight anyway.