Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.

Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.

Warning: OOC possible. One shot.

Rating: T (Slight suggestions)

Note: I'm kinda on a scribble roll actually, I'm trying to lessen my files. This idea came from an SBS that I read a few years back. I already drafted this one-shot right after that and forgot about it.

Summary: All of a sudden he was standing directly in front of her, looking down at her with a glint in his grey eye that tells her he's gonna get retribution.

Little Bits and Pieces of Heaven

26 : Attire on Fire

"Alright. Wear this!"

Something suddenly hit Zoro's face without warning. Cursing, he made a grab for it and an irritated expression appeared on his normally stoic face. He stared at the shirt in his hand before shifting half of his gaze to the orange-haired girl across him.

"Why?"

"Because," Nami placed both of her hands on her hips before pointing at the clothes he hastily threw on before running out of the men's quarters after he heard her screeching his name. "Everything on you hurts my eyes!"

Zoro looked down at what he is wearing and frowned. "Then don't look!" He growled angrily before throwing the shirt right back at her face.

Nami let out a yelp when it hit her. She pulled the cloth away from her face before marching towards him.

"You are changing your clothes Zoro!" She forcefully shoved the shirt back into his arms, earning her a disgruntled 'oi'. "I won't have you walking with me like this one big, fashion disaster that you are!" She gestured from his head down to his toes with one hand. "Unless you are trying to be a tree, I don't know how you can think that that green and brown color combination will work!"

"The hell I care about how I look!" The tall lad snapped at her.

There was a pause and navigator's eyes narrowed into tiny, dangerous slits. And everyone who was outside the Sunny's deck swore that at that very moment the sky turned dark and ominous as lightning flashed and thunder rumbled—a foreboding sign.

Zoro met Nami's gaze directly, unflinchingly. Petty things like clothes don't bother him at all. As long as there is something to wear no matter how ugly it is, he doesn't give any shit about it.

Besides, like he'd let her have her way. Again. He already agreed to accompany her to town and be her pack mule for the day. And that was after she interrupted his post-lunch nap with all her shrieking.

Wasn't that enough already?

"You. Are. Changing." Nami hissed through gritted teeth, punctuating each word threateningly.

"No. I'm. Not." Zoro answered back, folding his arms across his chest with a huff.

"You are changing," Nami repeated tautly. "Or I swear I'm gonna call Robin and have her use her devil fruit powers to pin you down while I change your clothes for you!"

Zoro look astounded for a second. Did she just threaten him with Robin?

Now this is something new. Whatever happened to the usual debt threats Nami loves subjecting him to?

Regardless, like hell he's gonna let the Hana Hana no mi user lay her multiple hands on him.

"Come on Nami, you can do better than that," he snorted. "Now you're using that gloomy woman to—"

"Ara, how rude…" Robin cut him off suddenly as she entered the room.

Zoro stiffened despite himself. After all, the story of Franky's first-hand experience from Robin's power was enough to give any Mugiwara man nightmares.

Even if that happened two years ago.

The archeologist glanced momentarily at the swordsman, her gaze piercing. Zoro did his best not to move or make another sound lest she breaks his neck.

Nami caught his reaction and a menacing smile appeared on her face. "Robin!" She exclaimed chirpily. "You're just right on time!"

"Need help Nami?" With an ominous smile gracing her beautiful face, Robin inquired as she headed towards her side of the bed. "Is Zoro giving you trouble?"

Zoro glared scathingly at her. He opened his mouth to protest, but stopped himself right in time.

Nami eyes met Zoro's as she answered smugly. "Yes he is!" Her gaze dared the green-haired man to contradict her.

It was Zoro's turn to grit his teeth at her. But he still he held his tongue. He learned long ago never to butt heads with two women at the same time.

One is enough. And he already had his hands full with Nami. He didn't need Robin joining the navigator in making his life more miserable in the ship. Though Robin is sensible most of the times… but she does have this weird affinity for scaring the shit out of her nakamas for her own amusement.

"Need a hand?" Robin coolly asked as she busily perused the pile of books on her night stand.

"No she doesn't!" Zoro fiercely stated.

"Yes I do!" Nami answered at the same time.

Both glared daggers at each other as Robin chuckled. Oh, she's used to it by now. After all, Zoro and Nami's never-ending disagreements are always a source of entertainment on their ship.

"I don't see what the hell is wrong with what I'm wearing." Zoro finally grumbled.

Nami scowled in answer. "Everything."

He snorted. "It's just clothes woman."

"An awful choice of clothes!"

"Why the hell do I need to dress up Nami?" Zoro complained, his tone cranky. "You're just gonna use me as your pack mule for the day. Why do I need to look good for that?"

"I want my mule to look dashing."

He scoffed. "Then take ero-cook! He does it better."

Nami raised an eyebrow. "Oh," she mouthed, a bit exaggeratedly. "So you admit there is something Sanji-kun's better than you at?"

Silence.

And Robin fought the urge to giggle out loud. With the mention of their cook's name, Zoro's bound to hit the roof soon enough.

"That ero kappa will never be better than me at anything!" Zoro exploded.

"That's not true, Sanji-kun's better than you at cooking!"

Robin can actually feel Zoro seething from the other side of room. Trust Nami to rile him up so easily. Though she knows that after so much resistance (and shouting) from Zoro's part… it will still end up the way it usually does. Their swordsman catering to Nami's whims regardless of how inane it is.

Well, it's actually good since there's no need for her to use her powers. With how strong Zoro is, she doubts if she'll be able to hold him down long enough.

That would be tiresome. She thought with an inward sigh.

Guess it's just Zoro's nature to go and face the enemy head on even if there's no chance of winning.

With her chosen book in hand, the older woman turned to watch her friends. They are still glaring and gritting their teeth at each other. Robin took it as her cue to exit the room.

Whatever happens between her two nakamas after this, she'd rather not be caught across the crossfire no matter how amusing.

"Alright," Nami suddenly sighed in a dejected manner, surprising Zoro when she gave up easily. "You can go and do whatever you want."

Zoro stared at her in astonishment.

"I'll just ask Sanji-kun to accompany me." She began to tap a finger to her cheek as if she was thinking. "What was it that Luffy said?" Her brows furrowed as Zoro bristled, apparently aware of what was coming. "Oh! Worth a thousand men." She threw a sugar-sweet smile at Zoro. "Guess that is so true after all."

That was all it took for Zoro to relent.

"Damn it! I'm changing alright!" Zoro barked as he shot Nami a venomous glare while the girl gave him a triumphant smirk that could rival a shark's.

"Very good Zoro!" Nami gleefully nodded in approval, reveling at the fact that she won against the him for the umpteenth time. "Do it now. I promise I won't peek."

Zoro's glare was enough to rival the coldness of Aokiji's devil fruit powers.

And Robin just shook her head slightly at the already expected outcome.

"I'll leave you two here," she said with a small smile. Zoro was growling as he removed his shirt. Totally unbothered by their presence. "And Nami," Robin called out to get the mapmaker's attention who's attention was fixed quite intently at the now stripping swordsman. We'll be docking at the island's port in half an hour according to Franky's calculation."

"If you have time, you can check if he is right." She suggested, moving towards the room's exit. A disembodied hand appeared to open the door's knob even before she reached it.

"That is… if you're not busy trying not to 'peek' while Zoro changes his clothes," she said with a sly wink at Nami before exiting.

"ROBIN!" Nami all but screamed at her friend as the disembodied hand gave them a wave before closing the door and vanishing in a swirl of pinkish-white petals.

But not before surreptitiously locking it.

Nami turned beet red at that. Trust Robin to insinuate that and give Zoro something to tease her about.

A discarded shirt hit her. She scowled and her attention returned to the former pirate hunter who was unbuttoning his pants.

She glowered at him. "Don't just strip down to your underwear like I'm not even here you moron! You could learn some modesty you know."

"I don't wanna hear that coming from you." Zoro retorted before throwing his pants at her.

"HEY!"

"What? Don't tell me you're now being shy and all." The grin on his face was vicious. "Besides, nothing here you haven't seen before Nami."

Blood rushed to her face at his statement. But definitely not because she was embarrassed or anything.

She didn't answer and instead, grabbed the clothes she had picked for him earlier, throwing them at right at his face.

"Shut up and just get dressed Zoro. We're wasting time!" She said with a huff. Kami knows how he needs direction with what is appropriate to wear just as how he needs direction with which way to go.

"I swear, you, Luffy and Chopper needs all the help you can get when it comes to fashion," she muttered exasperatedly, as Zoro finished changing his clothes. She gave him a glance over and nodded approvingly. "That's a heck lot better. You don't look much of an eyesore now."

"Oh good," Zoro drawled sarcastically. "If this gets you off my back then I'm all for it."

Nami beamed at him. "Glad we finally came to some kind of an agreement. If I get to dress you, then it would be less complaining from me, ne?"

Zoro remained passive at her declaration. "Great," he grumbled rather sarcastically. "So you get to dress me now Nami?"

"If it makes you look better, then yes of course."

He cocked an eyebrow at her before a smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. "Guess I have to return the favor then."

Nami blinked. And when she realized what he was pertaining to she shook her head vehemently. "Oh no, no, no! You don't get to dress me Zoro! Not in this life or the next!"

All of a sudden he was standing directly in front of her, looking down at her with a glint in his grey eye that tells her he's gonna get retribution. "You're mistaken." He said with a sneer.

He stole a glanced on the room's door that Robin conveniently locked earlier.

"What do you mean?"

"You get to dress me? Then I get to undress you."

– The End –

According to SBS Volume 37: Luffy, Zoro and Chopper cannot dress up on their own. If they do, it's because either Sanji, Usopp, Nami or Robin is with them. It has merit. Remember that blue tank top in Skypiea that made Zoro look so hot? We have Nami to thank for that.

And Zoro does not really care about clothes and all but it's just fun to play with this fact.

R and R please.