Happy Sunday! I hope you all had a blissful week – I know I did, with no troll activity, yay! You all are the best fans ever and I can't express my thanks for your support. You all are absolutely the best!

xXx

"All right, that's it!" Christina exclaimed, collapsing on Tris' new couch with a sigh. Tris closed the door of her new condo and plopped down next to Christina.

"Whew! That was a lot of work!"

Christina looked around the condo at the unpacked boxes. Tris had used a moving company to move her boxes of memorabilia, books, and clothes out of her parents' home and all the new furniture had been delivered shortly afterward. But even with that, there was still a lot of unpacking to do. "We still have a ton left."

Tris waved her hand, "It can wait. The kitchen, master bedroom and bathroom are all set up and that's the most important thing." Her new office, the guest bedrooms and bathrooms, and the living and dining rooms all had the furniture in place but still had boxes yet to be unpacked. Tris shook her head slightly. Thinking of all of it was overwhelming but it gave her an excuse to forget her conversation with her dad for a while. Pushing those thoughts aside, she pulled herself back to the present.

"Yeah," Christina stretched, "but man, what a hellified party we're gonna throw when you get all settled in!"

Shrugging, Tris said, "Yeah, I guess so." She looked around, wondering what has possessed her to buy a three-bedroom condo. "Why did I buy a place with so much space?"

"I wondered that too but look at it this way, there's more room for us when we all come invade!"

Tris shrugged again. She hadn't wanted to admit it, but Tris suspected Christina was more right than she knew. Whether she wanted to acknowledge it or not, Tobias hadn't been far from her thoughts when she was looking at condos. She had deliberately chosen a place with three bedrooms so there would be plenty of space for each of them to have an office if they wanted. The third bedroom was currently slated as Tris' office but with a small, additional family room, she didn't think it had to stay that way. In addition to having a gym, the building wasn't far from a park so there would be easy running space as Tobias liked to jog outside whenever possible. Even though he didn't like heights, the view of the city with the winding canal below was picturesque and she could imagine them having coffee on the small balcony. Tris bit her lip as she realized just how much her choice of homes had been driven with both of their day-to-day lives in mind. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Tris was beginning to think of Tobias as a permanent addition to her life.

Noticing Tris' far off look, Christina nudged her with her elbow. "Hey, what's with you? You have been acting weird all day." She paused, considering, her dark eyes shadowed with genuine concern. "No, forget that. You've been acting weird for months. Something is going on, I'm sure of it, so don't even think of denying it."

Tris hesitated, wondering how she should respond. She wasn't ready to talk about her dad, at least not without talking to Tobias first; a thought that shocked her. In fact, she had been itching to talk to him since she'd left her parents' home and the urge had only gotten worse now that she realized how much of her new condo was chosen with Tobias in mind.

With so many emotions swirling inside her, she couldn't even begin to think of what to say. She couldn't tell Christina she'd been sleeping with Tobias for months. She loved and trusted Christina, but couldn't take the chance that she might accidentally let something slip to Uriah or Will. On the other hand, she was desperate for advice. Penny's earlier approval had meant a lot, but things were so much more complicated than she could let Penny know about. Tobias was never far from her thoughts and it was getting harder for her to walk away when they were together. And now Tobias was back in New York and leaving for South America in just a few weeks, so they wouldn't be able to see each other until she was in New York for Susan's final dress fitting. The idea of going weeks without him left her with a sense of unease, as though she was missing a vital part of her. It wasn't a feeling Tris liked and she was deeply afraid of what it could mean.

"If I talk, then you have to promise you won't ask who I'm talking about," she warned, "or I say nothing."

Christina raised one eyebrow. "I'm intrigued."

"Promise?"

"Sure."

Tris' eyes narrowed. "I mean it, Christina—no names."

"So, I know him then, hm…"

"Chris," Tris warned.

"All right, all right, I swear." Christina folded her legs beneath her. "Now spill."

"I - I slept with someone I shouldn't have and now I don't know what to do," Tris confessed.

Christina's eyes opened, wide. "Who? Oh, right, no names," she said, as Tris arched an eyebrow. Settling back, Christina thought for a moment. "Okay, so was it good?"

Tris paused, considering whether to tell the truth, then nodded. "The best I've ever had," she said.

"Really?" Christina drawled with a grin. "You've never said that about a guy before. Okay, well, that's a good start. Do you like him? I mean, as a person, do you like spending time with him?"

Tris smiled, remembering the time she was cuddled up with Tobias in front of the fire while watching movies and sharing popcorn in Canada. They'd done the same in England while sprawled half-naked in his flat, discovering a mutual love of spicy Indian food. Then later making love on their narrowed bed, surrounded by the silence of the Gladstone Library, as they laughingly shushed each other when their moans threatened to spill outside their room. The hours they'd spent on the phone, talking not just about her book, but also about their lives, their dreams, their nightmares. Those conversations felt just as, if not more, intimate than the earth-shaking sex. "Yes," she finally replied. "Plus, he's smart and driven and just a good person." She sighed. "I really like him."

Cocking her head and staring at her friend, Christina wondered if Tris realized how smitten she sounded with this guy. "Well, I don't think I have to ask if he's sexy," she teased, not wanting to discourage Tris from telling the truth about her feelings.

Tris laughed. "Unbelievably so."

Christina laughed with her. "That's my girl."

Sobering up, Tris returned to her problem. "But it's just...not a good idea to be involved with him."

"Is he married?"

"No! Of course not!" Tris stared at Christina, scandalized. "You think I would do that?"

"Ordinarily, no. But since you won't tell me who he is, I gotta eliminate the most obvious impediment."

With a huff, Tris sat back. "I guess that makes sense," she grumbled.

"Thank you," Christina said primly. "Okay, so if he's not married, then why is it a bad idea?"

Tris paused when nothing came immediately to mind. Why was being with Tobias a bad idea? They had similar backgrounds, their families were friends and they ran in the same social circles. Of course, those were all the same reasons why this was a horrible idea. There would be no escaping the pressure everywhere they went.

"You know how things are in our little world." Tris gestured helplessly. "Nothing is permanent. Caleb and Susan are practically an arranged marriage. Half our friends who are married are either getting divorced or cheating. Hell, even you and Will break up and get back together all the time!"

Christina flapped a hand impatiently. "Don't worry about Will and me. That's different. Look at our parents, yours and mine. They're going strong."

Tris plucked at her pants. "I feel like those are exceptions, not the rule."

"That may be," Christina conceded, "but they do prove that it's possible. You could be that exception."

"I don't know," Tris whispered. "It's risking a lot."

"But it could be worth it," Christina argued. "You'll never know until you try. If you think this guy is worth it, just jump in. Don't let your fear get in the way."

"I'm not afraid," Tris protested. At least, she didn't think she was.

Christina sighed as she considered how to bring up a subject she'd thought about more than once. "You know, Tris," she said slowly, "you've shied away from a lot of relationships over the years. I know your parents are conservative, overprotective even, but that's not it entirely. You've never really let go with any guy, not that I've seen." As Tris was silent, Christina plowed ahead. "I think, maybe, you are scared of commitment."

"That's not it," she objected.

"Oh, really?" Christina challenged, cocking her head to the side. She just stared at Tris until Tris began squirming. "You've either bolted at the first sign of any relationship getting serious or you've deliberately picked guys who you knew were wrong for you. I just have never figured out why."

Tris gestured helplessly. "I don't really know. It's just…the idea of someone else having control just terrifies me."

"Why does it have to be that way? Why would being with someone mean submitting to their control?"

Sighing, Tris leaned her head against the back of the couch. "It would have to be, wouldn't it?"

"No, it wouldn't." Christina tried to reassure her. "Look, I know your dad's protective. But honestly, I think he's smothered you so much, you're just reacting without thinking."

Tris closed her eyes, willing the tears away. What Christina was saying made sense—a lot of sense—but hadn't she made the break by moving out? But even with taking this step, Tris worried that if her parents pressured her enough, she'd give in and move back home. What if she did that in a romantic relationship as well?

"There's no bigger sin in my parents' eyes than being selfish," she said, more thinking out loud than really talking to Christina. "Their favorite phase to say to me was 'Don't be selfish, Beatrice,' whenever I wanted to do something my parents thought was a bad idea. But, dammit, I am selfish! There are times when I just want to do what makes me happy."

"That's not being selfish, Tris," Christina soothed, reaching out and giving her best friend's shoulder a squeeze. "That's just your dad trying to manipulate the situation. I know they love you and I know they want you happy, but I think they are having a hard time letting go, seeing you as an adult."

"Now that I can agree with!"

"You can't let that stop you, though," Christina insisted.

"I haven't. Look," Tris gestured to the room around her. "I moved out."

"And that's a great first start! But this is about your guy."

Tris shrugged. "It's not the same."

"Well, buying a condo is a commitment, is it?" Christina laughed at Tris' eyeroll. "Ok, I admit, it isn't quite the same. But ask yourself, if you've indeed found such a great guy, isn't facing your fear worth it?"

Tris was silent for a long moment. Her first reaction was to deny, to say that she could commit, but she knew, deep down, Christina was right. The idea of opening herself up completely to another person—letting herself be vulnerable, letting someone else have a say—was daunting. But the idea of losing Tobias forever was even more unthinkable. "Maybe," she murmured. Tobias was certainly worth it. He was everything she never knew she wanted. And he loved her like no one else ever had. Robert had told her he loved her but Tris had known that it wasn't entirely true. They'd had fun, the sex was good and they were both parentally-approved. But Tris had wanted—no, needed more. With Tobias, she'd believed him when he told her he loved her, absolutely. He loved her, not some image of her.

"You know I'm right." Christina poked her thigh.

Sighing, Tris shifted, tucking her legs beneath her. "He's making it so easy to want to be with him."

"Then, let it be easy."

Tris gave a watery laugh. It was easier said than done but maybe, just maybe Christina had a point. Christina watched the play of emotions over Tris' face and felt a surge of hope. She'd begun to worry that Tris would never open herself up, would never give up her fears long enough to allow someone to love her and for her to love back. "It's got to be Robert," Christina joked, hoping to get Tris to give her any hint as to who it could be. Part of her thought it was Robert, but there was just a nugget of doubt in Christina's mind. Who else could it be, though?

Tris rolled her eyes and laughed. "I told you, no names."

"Well, I know it isn't Al!"

"That's for damn sure!" Tris laughed.

"Well, there's no one else I recall you mentioning recently and I know you look at Uriah like a brother, so it's not him."

"I know more men than that," Tris pointed out. "It could be someone you don't know."

"Yeah, whatever. It's totally Robert."

"Uh-huh," Tris smirked. "Whatever you say."

xXx

Later that evening, Tris lay snuggled in her new bed, her phone propped up on the pillow next to her. "I wish you were here with me," she confessed out loud. Since her conversation with Christina earlier that day, Tris was beginning to realize that she did, indeed, know what she felt for Tobias. She just wasn't sure she was ready to tell him yet.

"I wish I were too," Tobias said. He was also lying in bed while talking to her, propped up against his headboard, allowing her to catch glimpses of his naked, upper chest. "So, how did the move go?"

"Really well. All the furniture arrived miraculously on time, so Chris and I were able to get my bedroom and bath ready for me to sleep here tonight. I really didn't want to go back to my parents'."

Tobias frowned, the concern in his blue eyes obvious even through the phone. "What happened?"

Tris sighed. "Dad thinks I'm some reckless idiot." She told him about her uncle and her father's belief that she was like him.

Tobias' assessment was blunt, "Your dad is completely wrong. Not only that, he's arrogant as hell."

The certainty in his voice helped lift her mood. She was beginning to feel lighter, the burden of stress slowly dissipating with his confidence. "He's just so certain I'm going to make some colossal mistake and screw up my entire life."

"Tris, you know exactly who you are. You don't need your father, or me, or anyone for that matter, to validate that. You know that."

Tears welled in her eyes again. "I just - I just want him to be proud of me," she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. She'd thought a lot about her parents since she'd left the house and realized even though she was choosing a different path for herself then what they'd tried to choose for her, she still craved their approval.

"I know." He gave a small laugh. "That's all any of us ever want. But sometimes, you've got to let that go and live your own life."

Sniffling, she nodded. "I know. This was a long time coming." She sighed, wiping her eyes as she gave a watery laugh. "This is exactly what made Caleb leave. He would never have been able to stand up against Dad like that."

"You had to do it, because deep down, you know this is the right move for you." Tobias smiled at her.

"Yeah, it is." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Opening them again, she stared at her screen, soaking in his beloved features. Yes, she knew exactly how she felt about him. "Thanks, I needed this, you know?"

He nodded, "I know." Tobias continued to watch Tris as she plucked at her bed sheet for a minute before asking, "What else is on your mind?"

She hesitated before answering his question with one of her own, "I'm just wondering, why you haven't pushed me to tell everyone we're together?"

Tobias blinked a couple of times, clearly taken aback by the question. He searched her face as best he could over the phone and finally decided that honesty was probably the best thing. "I know you aren't ready for that yet," he said carefully.

"But you are," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I am," he admitted.

"Then why haven't you pushed me?"

"This isn't the same as pushing you on your novel, Tris. If I force your hand on this, you'd likely walk away from me." Watching her bite her lip, he added gently, "Tell me I'm wrong."

There was a part of her that wished she could, but ultimately, she couldn't lie to him either. "You're not," she admitted, but when he turned away from the screen, nodding in acknowledgement, she regretted the truth. "I'm sorry."

Tobias sighed, turning back to look at her. "You never have to be sorry for being honest with me. It's my choice, Tris. But know that it can't be forever," he warned. "There will be a breaking point."

"Yes, I know. Just…give me some time, okay?" She hated the slightly pleading tone in her voice but today had already been so heavy, she didn't want to face any more emotional roller coasters. She sighed with relief as he nodded.

"You're the best, you know that?" she smiled at him. Feeling the need to lighten the mood, she allowed her smile to turn just a bit wicked, a bit seductive. "You know exactly what to do to make me feel good. It's too bad you aren't here to finish the job."

Tobias laughed. "Great, I'm never going to get to sleep now."

She laughed with him. "Good. It'll give you something to think about until we see each other again."

He turned serious. "I wish we could squeeze out some time before I head to South America."

"We'll just have to make the most of it when we see each other in New York next month."

"You can count on that," he quipped before turning serious again. "You know I love you, Tris."

Tris' lips curved into a smile at his words. "Yeah, I know. You're pretty amazing yourself. Now get some sleep. You have work in a few hours."

"Ok, good night."

"G'night." Reluctantly, Tris ended the call and flopped on to her back, staring up at the ceiling. She wanted to believe she could stop before she fell all the way in love with him, but if she was being honest, she knew it was already too late.