Fluttershy was still angry as she rounded a street towards the school. She was able to reign it in a bit, or at least enough to be reasonable. Hopefully.
She decided to try calling Rainbow first, as she walked to school. She wanted to find a more "private" place to meet up, especially if it was on the school grounds.
"Uh, hey, Shy. What's up?" Rainbow asked, almost nervously.
"Just seeing where everyone's meeting up before class." She caught the tone.
"Uhmm..." a sigh, "we're in that old abandoned track field behind the school. We're...well, you'll see." Rainbow said.
Fluttershy frowned. What were they doing? "Okay. Be there in a bit."
She didn't give Rainbow a chance to reply. Rainbow was loyal. So it seemed, her loyalty was being tested. Split.
She was getting to the bottom of this bullshit with her so called friends. She was tired of none of them asking her directly. She didn't even know what Twilight or even Rainbow and Pinkie had been saying.
She had purposely left early enough. She didn't want to be interrupted.
The path was quiet, it was a small, tree surrounded pathway a bit aways from their current track field. Fluttershy was trying to think of where she could even begin to speak to them. She just wanted to know, was she at fault for their separation?
Up ahead, she heard noise, yelling, shouting for what to do. 'Training?'
She slowed her pace.
They were. Their Elements were out and glowing, them training with their magic, though it looked as if they were taking a break. It was all of them, even Rarity.
They all had scuffs and dirt covering their bodies.
"What were ya thinkin' Rainbow?" AJ asked, approaching after some water.
Rainbow shrugged. "I panicked, okay? She's still my friend...or at least, I hope."
"Even after everything? I mean, come now, RainbowDash. It all adds up. Though, I must admit I haven't been very forward with it myself." Rarity said, tying back her hair.
"But, Rarity! What about what Fluttershy told us herself?" Pinkie asked, jumping about.
Rainbow nodded. "Yeah. We told you guys she said she wasn't dating AND that Twilight-" Rainbow looked over to the purple haired teen who was trifling through an old leather and wood book, "had taken those without permission."
Twilight looked up from the book. "Yes, I admit I took them without permission, but it was for the best. If she wouldn't tell us about her family, do you really think she'd tell us about whatever she's doing now? Would you all have rather found out one morning she was found naked and dead in an alley or something?"
She walked up, getting into Rainbow's space. "Also, I wasn't lying. She really did try to attack Cadence's father and even threw a knife at him! Ever since she moved in with those adults, she's become so different."
Rainbow made an uncomfortable noise in her throat and Fluttershy couldn't take it. She was already mad about the Chrysalis situation. She sighed and walked out, a fake smile on her lips. She wondered if they'd be able to tell.
"Hey, girls! Sorry it took me awhile."
They breathed sighs of relief, much to Fluttershy's dismay.
"Hey, Shy. Haven't heard from you in awhile." Rainbow stuttered out.
Twilight crossed her arms. "Have you come to your senses?"
Fluttershy stopped walking at that remark. She didn't even glance over. "I was always in control of my senses. I wouldn't have thrown the knife if he didn't make that comment."
Twilight made a noise, a fed up one. "Exactly! It was a comment! They'd all been talking all night."
Fluttershy took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Okay, I can see, since I heard most of everyone's gossip, that you all have questions. I'll be honest."
She still shook. Truthfully, she wasn't sure if she was ready for that.
Plus, she was done with it. She still wanted Shining Armour to suffer.
"Well...if ya heard everythin', why not just tell us?" AJ suggested.
Fluttershy glanced over, but nodded. "Fine." She sighed. "No, I'm not dating anyone. I went with Sombra to that dinner as a friend, since his family are a bunch of-" she stopped herself. "-anyway. The non consensual pictures and such. I understand it looks odd, it looks suggestive. Those were out of context."
Twilight snorted. "All of that? Out of context? Fluttershy, just face the facts! You've fallen down a path that worries us and for some reason, you've cut us off. It's not like you."
Fluttershy had to think. Not like her? What? Was she supposed to roll over? Grovel to her friends pathetically that her family was brutally slaughtered and-no. She wasn't getting into the details of that year. Though, something did stick.
"Twilight. You just said I've 'fallen down a path'. What do you mean?"
She knew she was trying to deflect.
"She means you've changed way too much, Shy! I...I don't know how it happened, but I know that night-morning- whatever we found you and that tall dude on the beach, you both were covered in blood. Pinkie didn't notice, but I did. The Fluttershy we knew wouldn't be covered in blood like that!" Rainbow blurt out before she looked away, uncomfortable.
Fluttershy's veins turned cold. They saw? Her heart began to hammer as panic set in.
There was some silence.
Remembering certain...events...of that night, had her blushing. She hadn't meant to.
"Oh, God. Fluttershy, why are you blushing?" Rarity asked with some disgust.
Fluttershy sobered up quick from her skip down memory lane. She realized. "Is that why you all have been avoiding me? Because of something Rainbow saw?"
Rainbow looked hurt. "Are you saying I was wrong?"
Fluttershy put her hands up. "No! Far from it! I'm just asking! All summer, save from when you and Pinkie went with us and that terrible dinner, none of you have talked to me."
More silence.
"I told ya I was busy at Sweet Apple Acres." AJ said, tilting her hat down.
"I had fashion school to focus on. I want to go somewhere elite so I have to try doing more than what's expected." Rarity said, not moving much, probably unsure how to react.
Pinkie went to go next, but Fluttershy held her hand up in a 'stop' motion. "I know. I read the texts. But you all obviously weren't too busy if you were practicing your magic without me." She would admit, that hurt. It wasn't even about the magic.
They were moving on. They were walking a line, while she was still trying to untangle the mess she'd gotten into and what she did untangle wasn't along the same lines theirs were. Not even in the same direction.
"Oh, so NOW you check your texts." Rarity said, sarcasm bitter.
Fluttershy tried not glaring at her. "My sleep schedule has been off for a long time so I only get your things after you've shown up."
"Are we all ignoring the blood thing?!" Rainbow asked, still freaked. Part of Fluttershy wanted to roll her eyes.
Twilight perked at that. "Speaking of, what are you doing with these strangers? You admitted Rainbow wasn't lying about being covered in blood. Then the sleeping around and violence?"
Fluttershy sighed. "You keep bringing that up. All of you. I'm NOT sleeping around. But you know what? Even if I was, why would that change our friendship?"
"Sugarcube, this ain't about sleeping with boys our age." AJ said.
'Oh.' She thought bitterly.
"We just don't want you getting hurt or killed or ending up with an unwanted baby while the guy you slept with runs off or worse." Twilight tried sounding genuine in her concern, but all Fluttershy heard was uppity, high nosed prejudice thinking. Looking down on those who don't fit into those boxes she feels they should.
Fluttershy turned her attention to Twilight, unable to stop the metaphorical venom spewing from her lips. "At least the man I know is the father won't force me to miscarriage then run off only to impregnate the woman he was truly never over, then leaving me with the scars and trauma. Forever looking at my own body, knowing what it once held and what it was forced to birth fully knowing it wasn't actually alive while he runs off Scott free and lives fucking happily with a wife who might or might not know what he'd done and a child who will never know the sins their father cursed a woman with. Oh!"
Fluttershy gave a forced smile, looking Twilight right in the eyes. "Or the child learning that their mommy and themselves could've been the "other woman and child" just as easily in their daddy's eyes."
Twilight glared at her head on. "If you sleep around too much, then you won't know who the father is and depending on your taste in men it might turn out defected."
"Ohhh, I hope it won't be with that creep. What a poor child that would be." Rarity commented, most likely to herself, but Fluttershy still heard it.
Fluttershy wanted to break into tears, but she didn't. She didn't want them thinking she was playing them.
It was also obvious her and Twilight were having a different conversation than their friend's.
Fluttershy went to rub the bridge of her nose. "At least my child wouldn't be a product of status and it won't grow up having toxic norms thrust upon them by traditional and materialistic standards."
Twilight crossed her arms. "Yeah, and it won't have anyone except you. That's not even a family. What a lonely existence and it would be your fault."
Fluttershy's breath caught in her throat, it tugging at her weak spots. But she bit through it.
She noticed the other's went quiet, catching that something was going on.
"At least I'd know what kind of monster I'm sleeping with. Does Cadence?"
Fluttershy's ears rang from the echo of the slap Twilight gave her. "How are you paying rent? Did your parent's life insurances come in?"
Fluttershy took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. At this rate, she could feel it. Feel the need to attack Twilight. Then it would prove Twilight right. "Why? Why did you even take those pictures? Why are you saying all this?"
Twilight didn't budge. "At first, I was worried you were taking after that whore Chrysalis. Among other things I learned, it seems I was right."
Fluttershy sighed. She felt done. It was just going to keep repeating itself. They'll believe what they want and there's nothing Fluttershy can do about it.
They didn't know. But that wasn't an excuse. They didn't know, and they probably wouldn't care how many close calls she had.
How many times she felt ill with a mixed bag of gratefulness, hatred, disgust, self pity, that Rich was so possessive.
Even then, as she stood with her "friends", staying silent, them waiting for her response, she hated-loathed- how grateful she felt.
She began to feel her anxiety and fear returning as did her memories. She tried fighting it down.
It took a lot from her, but like before, she was able to barely swallow the anxiety, the lump of feeling.
She was shutting down emotionally again. It was the only way she could function when things got so bad. Last time she was like this, it was after she escaped and stepped foot in her family home.
She couldn't do this dumb cycle anymore.
She just wanted to be happy again.
She had been friends with them for years, so it surprised her that just the concept of her "sleeping around", was enough to divide them.
Celestia chose wrong.
"Hey..."
They all looked cautiously at her.
She looked to them. "What kind of World are you all training and fighting for?"
There was a brief silence as they looked around to each other. Twilight spoke, for some reason (probably gossip) the other's didn't. "For our friends, families, to keep the peace. For being the Element of Kindness, shouldn't you feel the same?"
Twilight might've been cooling off, but Fluttershy's anger was just placed in a glass bottle with a cork. 'For being the Element of Kindness...' She looked right at Twilight. "So you feel nothing should change? The World...to you, and I'm asking you other girl's too, needs to stay the same?"
Pinkie and AJ replied with a "yeah", Rainbow nodded, Rarity with a "of course", and Twilight didn't say at first.
"That's why we're fighting to find the Harbingers of the End and keep it safe."
Fluttershy hummed in acknowledging. "You'd be able to kill them?"
Twilight didn't skip a beat. "Celestia said the Elements of Harmony will know what to do with them."
Fluttershy walked passed, shoulder bumping with Twilight's as she walked towards the school. "Good luck without the Element of Kindness."
Twilight turned fast and grasped her wrist in a vice. "What do you mean?" She was immediately panicked.
Fluttershy only glanced over, not even moving her head. "It means, you all are on your own."
They all heard, breaking out into frenzied "Why's". Twilight asked after the other's hushed a bit, all having concern and alarm in their eyes and body language. "What can we do to make you be on our side? Even though, I'm not sure why you're not."
Fluttershy huffed a sigh. "Bring me your brother. Cadence as well. We can meet here, or just about anywhere. You can pick. Just let me know the time today." She walked forward a bit more, leaning down to grab her bag.
"I don't understand why you aren't on our side. You live on this Earth too!" Twilight pleaded, along with agreements from the other's.
She turned her head over her shoulder, looking back at them. She smiled, it looking like her old, sweet, innocent smiles. The ones that she wore in family portraits and pictures. "I don't have a family. Or do you not know the meaning of that anymore?"
She wanted to go to class, to ignore her PTSD, but she couldn't. She was about to crack, her heart beating wildly and choking her, her head throbbed and she fought shaking. She knew she'd break into tears any moment and in this state, she didn't want to cry alone, curled into a ball.
So, she ditched the moment she felt it was all too much.
She ran.
She ran back and the moment she opened her bedroom door, tossing her bag in in a hurry, she knew her own room wasn't where she'd feel safe enough.
She tried, though, not wanting to bother Discord. But she tossed that the moment she began hyperventilating and the memories flashed behind her eyelids.
Luckily his door was unlocked. Her breathing must've been loud enough, because even though she made no noise, he opened his eyes, moving his head more out from beneath his blanket. His Mohawk was in odd directions giving him bed head and he looked very different without most his piercings in.
"My Dear?" He looked to his clock, obviously confused.
She couldn't even bask in the knowing his first name for her is the "my Dear", not her actual name. "Can-" she squeaked, "I just need. I can't-can't breathe."
He sat up, moving over and lifting the blanket. She immediately dived in, not caring he was only in pajama shorts and curled as tight as she could into him. Her limbs were curled up against herself, though she tried burrowing herself as much into him as she could.
He didn't speak at first, her assuming it was due to sleepiness.
He let out a breath and used one arm to prop his head and the other wrapped around her, she felt his long fingers rubbing her back and he began to hum a tune. Another she didn't know.
She began choking on her sobs. Fluttershy wasn't sure why, but Twilight's words hurt. Maybe because Fluttershy wasn't Human anymore. Maybe because the words were assumptions since Fluttershy wasn't even sure how having a kid as a Vampire would work. The memories and admittance to Rich hurt as well.
She tried curling more into him, letting her arms out enough to claw his shoulder blades, no doubt hurting him, but he didn't make a noise. He was awake, she could tell. Just, quiet.
"Is this a keep quiet and let you have an episode or do you need to talk?" He asked breathily, his voice becoming more clear as he awoke.
Her face was smooshed against his chest, the warmth and his overbearing scent calming her quicker than it would've if she were alone, cold, curled into her own blankets, gathering no comfort and having to ride it out.
"I'm not...I'm not like that. I'm...why do words hurt?" She took deep breaths, not wanting to break more.
He put pressure on her back, squeezing her close. "Words like what? Unless you don't want to repeat them."
She wasn't sure. She needed his assurance but repeating them would remind her that they viewed her that way. She blinked away a few stray tears. "They're-my "friends"- think I'm sleeping around." She paused, realizing she probably needed to elaborate. "With older guys."
She could practically hear the growl in his chest and his nails through her shirt. She looked to him and saw a dark look in his eyes. "Discord?"
He made a noise in his throat, like he was fighting an impulse. As long as it didn't kill her or worse, she wouldn't mind. "If you want to do something to me, you can."
The growl erupted from his chest and up his throat as he leaned down, nudging her head away so he could reach her collarbone and he bit into it. Hard. She felt the bluntness of his teeth and the sharp stab of his snaggle tooth sink into her skin. It hurt.
She reached up and gripped a hand in his Mohawk. "Lovely, that hurts. Please, be a bit more gentle."
She didn't mind he bit her, though she wasn't sure why he did in the first place. She quickly realized though, Discord was quiet when woken up, because he still hadn't said much. He pulled away, licking the wound, though when he did, she swore she felt a slight burn.
She'd have to look later.
"I know you better than that, Fluttershy. What base do they have for their assumptions?" He was definitely waking up by his level of speak too.
"Just those pictures and such I told you about. I told them it was nothing, it was out of context, but..." she sighed, nuzzling his bare chest. "But they'll believe what they want instead. Twilight..." she wasn't sure why she was about to confess this, "Twilight said they were worried I'd end up either hurt, dead, or end up with an unwanted baby while the man I slept with runs off." The last part was a whined out only to blurt the next out in a ramble. "Then...she said I'd end up with just me and the child and that it wouldn't even be considered a family and it would be lonely for the child and Rarity brought up it would be a poor child if it was your's and-" she cut off, not meaning to blurt out the part involving him. She looked at him with watery wide eyes.
He looked equally as shocked before he seemed to gather himself and looked away. "Trust me, Fluttershy, no child would want me as their parent."
For some reason, that made her more angry. The only reason she hadn't been more angry at Rarity was because she sadly, didn't hate that idea. Yes, he wasn't well in a strange sense of the word. But neither was she if you added things up. "So you're saying, IF that were the case, only IF, it's a metaphorical illusion, but just pretend. So you're saying...you don't believe I'm capable of judging if you'd be a good parent?"
His brows rose high in alarm and he gripped her face, his body moving to be over her, trapping her. "Nononono, Fluttershy! I'm saying...grr...I'm...I've never even thought of it but my Dear, you have to realize too. Just...for this make believe, pretend possibility...Fluttershy, you have to understand. I'm not...I don't think...it scares me, Fluttershy. What mental problems would be passed down? What if? What if I've had my medicine? What i-"
She stopped his rant by bringing her hands up and petting his face. "Discord." She looked into his red, panicked, frightened eyes. 'He always overthinks.' She smiled small. "I understand. I really wouldn't worry though. For one, I'm not sleeping with anyone, for two, I'm not Human anymore so I'm not even sure it's a possibility. Especially if without blood, my body shuts down. And for three, it's not real. Hahaha." She began giggling. "We're both! Ha! We're both acting like terrified fools when there's nothing to even be remotely worried about. We really shouldn't do these "what if" or "make believe " situations together."
He looked away, embarrassed for getting so into the topic but chuckled. "You might be right. Sorry, my Dear, we got off topic."
He didn't move though.
She really didn't mind him over her, especially without a shirt so she could admire the long muscles. They weren't thick, bulky muscles but it was obvious he wasn't a twig.
She knew she should've looked away or been more embarrassed, but now that she got a look, she wanted to know more. His body was littered with scars, like her own body. There were a lot of needle scars on his wrists and up his arms. Even a lot of surgical looking scars. They were old and faded. She didn't dare touch, no matter how tempting.
They were silent for a bit, Discord staying over her, and her basking in the safety.
"My brother called me a lot of names. He liked using big words I couldn't understand unless I looked in a book, which then he'd hide all the dictionaries." Discord looked back at her.
Her eyes were wide. Discord never shared things about himself. "Accord?"
He nodded. "I also...I've never been to school. All I know is this Underworld. I want a better life for you."
She gulped. How was she to resist when he'd throw a smooth and romantic line like that?! "Academics isn't everything and I think you're very smart. Besides. Sombra has enough smarts for all of us."
He chuckled at that. "I suppose you're right." He sighed but then let out a huge yawn, not thinking about covering his mouth and she was perplexed to see a few things. One, a tongue ring and two, at the gums between his upper and lower jaw in the back, was a number "02" in elegant writing verses the usual boxy numerical lettering.
"Discord?" She asked quietly.
He leaned down, laying by her with one arm still outstretched over her collarbone to the other shoulder. "Yes?"
"What was your childhood like? Remember, you can say no." She reached her own hands and picked his arm up, only to trace along scars.
"What do you want to know exactly?" His voice was quiet.
"Anything you're willing to tell." She replied.
He bent his wrist and his fingers tangled in her hair. "Tia was one of the few around who did go to school, so some learned from her, or borrowed her books, like Accord did. Lulu was her little shadow. Then, there was Tirek. He was a bit older than all of us. He showed us around, showed us the ropes, but he always wanted more. I don't mean in a Disney princess sense." She saw he was getting lost in memories, so she turned towards him, letting her fingertips brush through the thick stubble on his jaw.
"At some point, life got more complicated. When I saw him again, we were...teens still, I think? Anyway, he'd...he'd gotten into things. Into trouble, into alcohol and drugs. He was always chasing a different feeling. Problem was, he could be in the middle of one feeling when he'd want a different one." He took a deep breath. "It was after a blow up with Tia when I found him. He'd called me, I knew something was off, so I went to find him. He had gotten a hold of a new drug, chasing it for a week and then...it was his undoing." He was quiet for a moment, blinking away the memory and raking his fingers against her scalp. "Sorry, don't know why I just kept talking."
She quirked her lip. "I get the feeling."
Her phone began playing loudly, making them both almost jump out of their skins.
She went to answer, having forgotten she skipped school.
"Twilight." Her voice deadpanned.
"We're at the track field. The one behind the school, not the abandoned one." She spoke, still unsure and maybe irritated.
Fluttershy nodded. "Shining Armour and Cadence?"
Twilight breathed out and there was movement. "They're here."
Fluttershy was almost giddy. "Thank you. We'll be there in a bit. I didn't feel good so I skipped. Bye."
Discord looked at her, uneasy. She must've had that look on her face. "My Dear? What's going on?"
She turned her head and kissed his cheek. "My plan. Now, I know you must have a gun, despite how much I know you don't like using them. Get me it, please. I'll get a knife from the kitchen."
"You weren't kidding me when you said you'd castrate him?" Discord continued to get dressed, knowing she meant for him to tag along.
She nodded.
"Why not grab Chrysalis since that's who this is for?" Discord asked, genuinely curious.
Fluttershy sighed. "She wouldn't be able to do anything. You see what she gets like. Usually Chrissy is pretty strong, but this thing with him and the "incident", left a chink in her armour."
She began putting her hair up in a bun.
"And who's Cadence?" He asked, making her shiver by running a finger up her spine.
"The pregnant wife. Don't worry, I'm not so low as to harm a pregnant woman and a baby." She consoled him.
He still looked at her with some sort of doubt. "Why're you planning to make a show out of this? Why do you need a knife AND gun?" He kept the gun in his pocket.
She smiled at him, it was genuine. "You'll see, my Lovely. Besides, it's rare I get to surprise you too."
While walking passed a mirror, as they headed downstairs to his motorcycle, she saw where he bit. The outline of a barbel with the outline of a stick dragon, almost traditional in a way. It looked like a tattoo. She had to wonder why it did that.
As he started the bike, he handed her the helmet. A thought ran through her mind. 'He's a good one.'