Tick. Tock.

"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do for her."

Tick. Tock.

"It's frankly amazing that she's even alive."

Tick. Tock.

"It's her mind, you see..."

Tick. Tock.

Asuka bolted upright, eyes snapping open. "Mama!"

She looked around herself, then let out a sigh. Misato's apartment. Slowly, hesitantly, she pushed her feet over the edge of the bed and stood. Pillow and blanket still in hand, she opened her door and closed it slowly so as not to disturb anyone. She made her way to that dreary windowless room.

It was dark, but she saw him there, sleeping in an awkward position, and made her way over to him, laying out her linen. The bed was small, but he was all the way to the other edge of it.

Good, waking him up like a little girl who wants to sleep with her parents would have been a bit much.

End of Evangelion

Part 4

Two days before Unit 02's delivery:

"You're telling me they're letting an amateur pilot an Eva?!"

Kaji laughed and shook his head, not pulling his gaze away from the computer. "I'm telling you he's a kid, just like you, and that you should try to get along with him." The hotel they were staying at in transit was a nice enough place, at least for one night. The room they were in had separate beds and enough space for luggage. The plan was to head to the naval base and hitch a ride with the fleet while they delivered Unit 02. Asuka currently sat on the far bed, and he was using the small desk that had been provided with the room.

"Oh fine, but only because you asked me," said Asuka.

This girl was definitely going to be the end of him. He wasn't sure how to handle her relentless advances without breaking something.

Her dossier sure was something...

"Listen, Asuka," he said gently, turning away from his computer to face her. "I'm gonna be on assignment at NERV HQ and flying around a lot. I won't be able to be your guardian anymore."

Asuka tilted her head towards him. "What?" she asked flatly.

"You'll be staying with someone else."

Asuka gritted her teeth. "That's not fair."

Kaji sighed.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

The day after the battle with the 6th angel:

The remaining trip to shore wasn't that long. The angel had attacked a short way out. Asuka was walking through the decks and toward the mess hall when she heard murmuring. Deciding to be curious, she trailed off towards it through the small hallway. Behind a a large metal door, slightly cracked and leading to another hall, were two crew members.

One of them was a female, the other a male, both in uniform.

"Can you believe that?" asked the male. "It was amazing."

"I hear they're the two best pilots in the new program, that's just rumor though," said the female.

Asuka couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"It makes sense," he said. "The way they throttled that thing. I couldn't believe it."

The female laughed, "The entire fleet heard them bicker like an old married couple."

"Oh don't start with the gossip."

"Wouldn't it be romantic, though? Two young pilots in a prototype combat program?"

Asuka turned on her heel and stormed away from the door, fists clenching so hard they almost bled.

Over her dead body.

A sync score of 67?

She would beat him. She would beat him until he cried.

The day after the battle with the 7th angel:

There had been that word again. Team. What right did he have to drag her into his team? She shut the door of her room and ran to her bed, burying her face in the pillow.

Probably the worst part of the whole thing was that she had faltered. It was just for a moment, but when he came to get her after she stormed off from the sync training, she was glad he did.

"Dammit," she muttered into the pillow.

What the hell was going on with her?

She had one goal when she signed up for the Eva program.

One goal above all else, and now this idiot was here to ruin everything she'd worked so hard to build up.

He looked at her when Kaji didn't.

He smiled at her when Kaji didn't.

He TRUSTED her.

He tried to understand her.

He wasn't just looking at her, he was trying to see her.

And that was terrifying.

The day after the 8th:

She sat alone in the hospital bed. She was still feeling the pressure on her skin. Sometimes it stung. Sometimes it felt like she couldn't breathe.

The doctors had given her the all clear, but she still wouldn't be discharged until the next day, and sitting there in the hospital annoyed her.

She looked to the right when the door to her room opened. "Hey."

And there he was, the one who pulled her from the fire. "Hey."

Lame, she could have at least yelled at him.

But when she thought about his Eva pulling hers to the surface and the strong grip she felt through her sync... she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"Looks like the doctor said we're both good to go home tomorrow," he said, pulling a small chair from the corner of the room and sitting next to her bed. "You okay?"

"I'm fine!" she snapped.

He flinched.

Good, served him right for sticking his nose where it doesn't belong.

He sighed, then suddenly stopped, pursing his lips and looking down. His face went pale, and he started to sweat.

"One of you will do the diving with Type D hazard equipment, the other one will be on standby with Type C just in case something goes awry."

Asuka's eyes widened. "You idiot! Go back to your room and lay down! I'm fine."

His skin must have felt like it was on fire.

After the kiss:

Stupid stupid stupid.

That was all she could think as she jumped onto her bed.

What the hell was she thinking?!

She didn't want that idiot Shinji looking at her. She wanted to be a grown woman! Capable on her own. She was an Eva pilot, and she didn't need him.

She punched her pillow.

If he had just sat there like a dead fish she would have made fun of him.

She punched her pillow.

But he didn't. He pushed her against the damn wall, even!

She punched her pillow.

Rolling over, she laid a hand across her forehead. "Mama, what do I do?" she whispered.

Her heart was opening up, and it scared her.

What if he got hurt?

What if he left her?

"What if he stops looking at me?"

The trapped child:

So this was it. Shinji had left her. There was never a team. He was never looking out for her. He went and got eaten by his Eva like a complete idiot, and she let it happen.

The classroom felt normal to her, and that was the worst part. She turned her head to look at his empty seat.

Hikari leaned over. "Asuka, I'm sure he's fine. He wouldn't want you worrying like this."

"Who's worried?" she grumbled, resting her cheek on her hand. "I just keep thinking about how stupid he is."

She missed school the next day.

The 15th:

Screaming scratching bleeding.

Mama...

The rope...

The doll...

She never wanted this.

She became an Eva pilot so this never happened again.

If she was strong enough to stand on her own then she would never have to worry about losing anyone again.

That was the way it was supposed to be.

Then, just as she was about to break...

He was there.

He never left.

He never stopped looking at her.

She still couldn't get that damn doll out of her mind, but it hurt less.

The angel had failed.

And when he hugged her... she leaned into him and cried for the first time in years.

"Pilot Asuka Langley Souryu," muttered Maya, fishing over the dossier in her hands. The tactical center was abuzz with activity that day, even though there was no angel. They had to proceed as normal, and be ready at all times.

"Catching up on all the declassified stuff?" Asked Makoto, leaning over her and setting down the coffee she had asked for.

Her work center was cluttered with documents, but that was nothing new in the Tac Division's observation area. People who did good work in NERV were messy. It's just the way things were.

"I feel kinda bad looking through this. A lot of it is really private."

Aoba spoke from the other end of the station, leaning over his computer, "If it makes you feel any better the dossiers were ran by all the pilots and they gave the go ahead."

Maya supposed that did make her feel better, but she still felt like she was digging through things she shouldn't have been. She sighed, "It must take a lot of guts to just let something like this loose in your work place."

Aoba laughed, "You should see Shinji's. It's almost like kids with issues are the only ones who can pilot these things."

"Not funny," growled Makoto.

"Oh come on lighten up. Besides, have you seen the way these three work together? We might not have been here for the fight but you saw those Eva corpses. They might be kids but you'd be stupid to get on their bad sides."

Makoto sighed. "Point taken, but it was still kinda messed up."

Maya frowned, flipping another page over.

She had decided that Asuka was the bravest girl she had ever seen.

"We're going on a date!"

I leaned back in my desk chair, looking around the classroom, and saw that, yes, Asuka had indeed said this loud enough for the whole class to hear. Right after the bell sounded but just before everyone left.

Instead of speaking my thoughts, I decided it would be a good idea to humor her. "Where?"

"Downtown, then the docks." She slammed her hand on my desk, a huge grin on her face.

"The docks, huh?"

"For the view."

Hikari raised her hand with a smug smile. "I'm the one who gave her the idea."

Rei piped up from her corner, a book in her hand, "It is often said that beautiful scenery can increase romantic atmosphere."

"See? Even Wondergirl agrees."

Was it just me or was everyone on board with our relationship a little bit too much? I let my eyes drift and saw Kensuke giving me a death glare. Okay, maybe not everybody. Still, for how much he complained about her you would think he wouldn't care. I had planned on catching up with Misato, who had been extremely busy with work ever since the attack, but that would have to wait. "Alright," I said, "Right now?"

"Yep, right now."

I wasn't averse to the idea, but going out for an evening on the town in our school uniforms...

Oh well.

It was our lucky day. Downtown wasn't crowded at all. Partially due to the constant evacuations and moves due to the angel attacks, but also because some students were just too exhausted after a full day of school to do anything extra.

Asuka dragged me everywhere. The arcade, the shops, karaoke. By the time we finished the sun was already on its way past the horizon, hanging half over and burying the city in orange light. Asuka, without another word, grasped my hand, and we began to walk towards the docks on the horizon.

It wasn't a place I'd been to very often, at least not on foot. I never really had any reason to go, but the girl humming a happy tune as she swung our arms back and forth was reason enough that day.

She lead me to one of the concrete ledges just by the walkways leading out onto the piers. We both leaned over the railing, hands still linked. "Whenever I got home late, this was where I was. I came here to think, and just stare at the ocean," she said.

"I just lay on my bed with my SDAT," I said with a laugh.

"And this is why you'll forever be a nerd."

"Ouch."

She went silent for a long time.

"I also came here after... after the 15th. I'm still having nightmares."

"Asuka..."

"My mother was also part of the project to create the Evas. Considering what happened to everyone else I bet you can figure out how well that went. Everything that Misato declassified makes it even nastier than I thought it was. Our mothers did this on purpose, you know. They didn't end up in the Evas by some accident."

"Yeah..." My grip tightened on her hand, but she said nothing. "I still can't remember that day, but knowing what happened doesn't make me feel any better."

She sighed, leaning her cheek on her free hand. "What the hell did you do to me?" she said with a bitter laugh. "Here I am spilling my guts to you. 'Never gonna happen, not in a million years' I told myself."

I pulled her hand a bit, causing her to inch closer to me so our shoulders touched. "So much for that romantic atmosphere, huh?" I said with a smirk.

She laughed, "Shows what you know. I'd say this is plenty romantic."

As we sat there, staring out into the sunset, I heard something.

A familiar song.

Not the instruments, but a hum. A happy sound, much like the one Asuka had been making on our date.

Beethoven's 9th symphony, specifically the chorus. Ode to Joy.

Asuka and I turned our heads, and there he was, sitting on the railing, legs dangling towards the ocean below.

Kaworu stopped humming when we turned to look at him, and turned to us with a bright smile on his face. "Singing is great," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I could almost see the look Asuka was giving him if it weren't for the fact that I didn't have eyes on the back of my head. When neither of us interrupted, he continued, "Singing enriches the soul."

It was Asuka's turn to tighten her grip on my hand. "It's that guy," she whispered.

Kaworu just kept on smiling that same gentle smile. "Music is the crowning achievement of human civilization. Wouldn't you agree, Shinji-kun?"

"What's the big idea?!" shouted Asuka, "We're in the middle of something, here!"

Kaworu laughed. It was a bright laugh, full of life. "My apologies Souryu-san. I did not mean to interrupt your date. I merely came here to think."

"Yeah well get your own spot."

I frowned, "Asuka..."

"What? He interrupted us."

Kaworu held up a hand. "It's fine. The lady speaks true. I am but an unwanted guest." He lowered his hand and turned his gaze back towards the horizon. "Did you know that we're neighbors?" he asked suddenly.

I heard Asuka sigh.

"No," I said, "You live next to Misato?"

"Yes. Quite coincidental, wouldn't you agree? Almost as if things cannot change THAT much. There must be this one constant." He pushed himself back over the railing, letting his feet land on solid ground. He leaned his head towards Asuka and I. "And I see that it is not the only constant. I am glad to see you two getting along so well."

I looked at Asuka, and she was now staring back at the ocean with a frown on her face, and a light blush. Then, back to Kaworu, I said what was on my mind since I had seen him on the street. "Why are you talking like we know each other?"

"Do we not?" he asked. "We introduced ourselves the other day."

More mind games.

"You know what I mean," I said firmly.

"I apologize if I am overstepping my bounds, but I like to think that we're friends."

"Friends, huh?"

"Weirdo," mumbled Asuka.

He pocketed his hands and leaned back against the railing. "Music really is wonderful," he mused, "One song can hold so much meaning." He pushed himself off and stood fully, walking in the other direction, once more humming my favorite song.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Shinji?"

"I can't get a read on him," I said, letting my head fall. I could see our reflections in the water below.

"You mean like with me? I remember you mentioning that when we fought."

"No," I said softly, "You were different. With him I don't... I don't feel anything."

Rei had been walking home after cleanup duty. There were no cars on the road, but she still stopped at the crosswalk of an intersection when it told her to not walk. She considered jaywalking for a moment, but decided not to. At least not on that particular day.

Then she saw him, standing at the opposite end, hands in his pockets. Light hair blowing in the wind. "Ah, hello. Today seems to be full of coincidences. You must be Rei Ayanami."

Something in her chest tightened.

ADAM.

"Who are you?" she asked.

He gazed at her, wait, not at her... THROUGH her.

"My my... what have we here?"

Rei's grip tightened on her school bag, the muscles in her legs tensing.

"I have a question," he said.

Rei hesitated to respond. Everything in her was screaming that this boy was a threat, but she didn't know why, almost as if her very nature was antithesis to his. Finally, she spoke, "What is the question?"

"What is it that separates man from beast?"

Rei considered the possible answers to such an inquiry. He only had one reason for asking her such a thing, and she wasn't in the mood to play twenty questions, but still... something compelled her to answer.

"Higher thinking."

"A conventional answer, but not the one I was looking for. Let me try a different angle, then. What separates lilim from angel?"

Rei's eyes narrowed.

The light changed.

"Walk." Ding ding ding. "Walk." Ding ding ding. "Walk."

When I got home I sat down at the table and opened my bag, pulling out my notebook. I laid it on the table and opened it to the latest page.

I looked at Asuka's newest entry, 'Love', and smiled.

Then I moved down two lines and penned a new entry.

Kaworu Nagisa: ?