"Things are going to be okay. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but eventually, it will all be okay." Unknow
I was drawn to your flame inspired by your fire,
you set my heart ablaze
and I burned with desire
But the rain was heavy and the wind was strong,
passion can't burn
once the heat is gone
On the coldest nights I'll look for your glow
among the burning embers
of your fiery soul
I'll sift through the ashes in search of the spark
that ignited my mind
and lit up my heart
Adèle couldn't help but think back to that old poem. She still remembered the first time she had read it in class. It was stupid. Love was a concept she didn't understand back then. And to be honest, she wasn't sure she understood now.
However, it was Gretta's favorite poem. She had read it aloud enough times to keep it in Adele's mind. And now she understood the appeal of this poem. The words hit a lot closer to home than she would like to admit.
She knew that long sleepless nights awaited her. She was going to have to learn to overcome this new pain running down her chest. She might numb it. Just like she did with the pains of the memories of the war. She was strong to numb her pain.
It was what she did best, numb.
She had numbed a lot of men's aches and pains before all this and she was going to use the same treatments on her from now on.
Releasing a nervous sigh, she interrupted her chaotic train of thought to flick the watch around her wrist. She winced at the sight of the rotating hour.
The fight with Kimber's men must have been over by this hour. Night had already replaced day. And Adele didn't even know the outcome of the clash. She hated herself. It was good. She could turn her hatred against herself. It would seem that hatred was her engine.
It was always easier to control other emotions when she was focusing on just one. Anger was good fuel.
From now on, the moment Adele left Small Heath, she was going to focus on just two things.
Her anger and Seamus.
Her family and her grief.
She was going to make sure to rebuild herself like Polly had said.
And she would never think of Thomas Shelby again.
"Danny whizz-bang is dead."
Adele straightened up with her head spinning in the direction of the entrance to her bedroom. She took a while to get over the news before rushing over to Seamus in a panic."What about Tommy?"
"He's fine." Seamus reassured at the sight of the genuine emotion on her face."He took a bullet though."
Adele winced before taking a few steps back to lean on the edge of the fireplace. She let a small smile curl her lips in relief before swallowing to try to mask her feelings again at the sensation of her little brother's persistent gaze. She cleared her throat as she leaned on the fireplace to sit up straight before walking again towards her window.
"Ma's still pissed off?" She asked, coldly.
"You know she's not really mad at us." Seamus replied. "She's just stressed out about what Grandpa could make us become."
Adele gave him a curious look over her shoulder."Grandpa, uh?"
"Well, that's what you're going to call him, right?" He shrugged.
"I think I'll call him Gerald first."She replied as she leaned back against her window wall to watch the street."We'll see later."
Seamus froze in the crack for a moment as he observed his sister.
The sight of the moon as the only light illuminating her room was almost unreal. The pale, white light made her look almost ghostly. But it was her expression that worried him the most. She didn't just look ghostly. She looked almost dead.
He watched as she closed her eyes for a moment. He had always known that his sister was a beautiful woman. He was not blind. He had seen the reactions of the men when they turned around in her path.
He had never really given more importance to her love affairs. But now that he actually saw her. He felt sorry for her.
He was going to leave Edith but that was not a problem. He was planning on coming back to Small Heath from time to time. Adèle, on the other hand. He doubted she would set foot in their hometown again.
To be honest, he would do the exact same thing. He certainly wouldn't like to be in her shoes. Thomas Shelby was not someone you wanted to have as an enemy. And even less as a former lover.
Seamus couldn't help but smile anyway.
If there was one girl in Small Heath who could handle the notorious gangster, it was his crazy sister. She was a force of nature.
Seamus knew he never really needed to protect her. That didn't stop him from trying.
Kind of like now.
"You know you don't have to hide your emotions all the time, right?" Seamus called into the almost aery calm of her room."It's good to cry sometimes."
Adele let out a chuckle as she reopened her eyes before glancing affectionately over her shoulder at her little brother."Seamus… my hero."
He walked over to her with a smile similar to her before opening his arms to hug her in his side.
Adele leaned her head against his as she hugged him back in a need of comfort. The familiar scent of her little brother infiltrated her nostrils and Adele realized that she could overcome her pain. As long as her little brother was by her side, she could get past anything.
"Whatever happens from now on it's you and me against the rest of the world, Adele."
Adele closed her eyes for a moment to appreciate the comfort of his promise before taking her little brother's face to kiss him on the temple.
"You and me against the rest of the world."She repeated."I like the sound of that."
"Should we seal the deal like we did when we were little?" He asked with a mischievous smile.
Adele arched an eyebrow."It wasn't very ladylike now is it?"
"How long have you been a lady?" Snorted Seamus.
"Touché." Chuckled Adèle before raising her hand to spit in it like when they were children.
Seamus did the same with his hand before reaching out to his sister to shake her hand. The duo kept eye contact as they sealed their promise. She ignored the feel of their saliva mixing together as she let herself be overwhelmed by the softness in her little brother's brown gaze. They were so similar and still so different.
In a way, Seamus reminded her of the young girl she was before the war. She too liked to make jokes and act carefree. She was just up to it at the time. She still did. She had just traded the small fights of female rebellion for power fights against powerful men. She let a genuine little smile curl her lips as she let go of her brother's hand before waving him out of her room to enjoy one last moment of simplicity.
"Now go! I'll call you when I see the car arrive."
Adele had no idea what her new life was going to be like, but she doubted her modest little bedroom had anything to do with Gerald's huge countryside mansion. She watched her brother leave her bedroom before crossing her arms over her chest as she took a wistful look at the walls of her bedroom. They held so many memories. Some she would like to forget more than others.
At the thought, her gaze fell on her bed as she was suddenly overwhelmed by images of her night with Thomas. She shivered as she thought back to how his callused hands had touched her in all the right places. She thought back to how he had lifted her with ease. His body was hard and bandaged against her as she explored his muscles with her fingertips. The feel of his kisses warming her skin with sudden thirst and insatiable desire. She could feel her body heat up at the mere thought. She let out a light, gasping breath as she looked away with a light blush down her cheeks with sinful thoughts perverting her mind. If her mother had any access to her thoughts she would probably make her swallow a whole batch of soaps. And yet, her gaze finally fell back on her bed as she realized she was really going to leave it all behind. Even her memories were going to have to stay here. She couldn't afford to keep a hold on these kinds of thoughts if she really wanted to forget him. Or at least pretend to forget him. She doubted Tommy was someone who could be forgotten anyway. Either it was bad or good, he always left his mark.
Realizing that she was going to have to forget that famous night, she allowed herself the right to rethink the words on the pillow. Thomas had never been so open and vulnerable with her as he had been on this bed.
"I didn't hear the shovels against the walls."
Adele looked away as the thought surged into her mind. She returned her eyes to the window just to sit up at the hearing of a luxury car engine. She drew her curtain to check before letting a weak short breath at the sight of the sleek black sight suddenly stopping near the sidewalk.
She gave a brief glance in the direction of her ajar door."Seamus! The car is there. Prepare your luggage!"
She released the curtain, the fabric swaying lightly against the cold glass before suddenly turning to her door to hear the floor creaking under a new weight.
"Seamus, it's-"
She froze as she let her hands fall to her side at the sight of the man standing in front of her. She took in his strangely weary, disheveled state. His mass of hair was flattened on the top of his head and that afternoon's remarkable smile had definitely left his face now. He looked even more devastated than any other time she had seen him.
This time, she was probably the cause.
"Everyone leaving's town." He declared in his gritty voice.
Adele rested her eyes on his coat and the lack of his usual crew neck shirt just to take a short breath at the sight of the bloody bandage underneath.
Adele winced before looking away as she tried to act as detached as possible despite her obvious concern."I heard you're the new King of Birmingham. Should I do a curtsey?"
"No need." He replied flatly before giving her a brief nod."And I'm fine. Thanks for asking."
"I didn't." She replied as she watched him for a moment before shrugging her shoulders, saddened."What exactly can I say?"
"You could stop lying to begin with."
Adele shook her head with a weak, apologetic smile."You don't want to hear what I have to say."
"I never needed someone to choose for me, Adele." He said, coldly."Stop saying you're acting in my best interests when we both know you're only acting for yourself. I know you. And you know me."
"If you know me so well then you know why that's not possible." Adele replied as she held his gaze without batting an eyelid."We're not good for each other. We're enemies."
Thomas immediately let out a breath of cold laughter."Enemies? Not good for each other?"
"You know I'm right." Adele insisted as she took a step towards him despite the voices in her head yelling at her to stay away."We're like combos for chaos. One of us is going to be the death of the other."
"Yeah." Tommy whispered as he lifted his head to look at her with emotion."Some day I will throw this gun in the canal."
"The day you throw that gun into the canal will be the day you give up." Adele commented knowingly as she continued to walk towards him."I am not looking forward to this day."
She stopped beside him once she felt she was close enough. It only took a single step to feel his warm breath against her face.
Unfortunately it looked like she wasn't close enough for Tommy yet as he suddenly raised his hand to stroke her cheek. He pulled her to him and Adele let him do it as she held back on the edges of his coat collar. She closed her eyes as she could feel his forehead now against her. The mere feel of his hand against her skin was enough to send her heart into a messy, frantic staccato.
Adele fought against the tears streaming behind her eyelids as she tightened her grip on the edges of his collar before shaking her forehead against his in defeat, her voice a mess of emotion."I can't say it, Thomas. I can't say what you want to hear."
"So don't say it."He declared weakly."It's already too late. We can say it as much as we like- but there is no chance, right? You've already made up your mind."
Adele turned her head away as she let go of his collar, taking a step back before nodding her head to confirm his thoughts. She had already made the choice for them. She would assume the consequences.
She swallowed as she smoothed her shaking hands over her dress before turning back to her window to retrieve her luggage. She was about to bend down to retrieve her bags when she heard his quick footsteps heading straight for her. She barely had time to turn around when he already had her face in his hands and his lips passionately devouring hers. Adele jumped against him as she instinctively rested her hands on his neck to bring him closer before responding to his kiss in spite of herself. She gasped into his mouth in desire and emotion before suddenly gasping at the hearing of an angry horn coming from outside.
It felt cold shower to her as she pulled away almost immediately, stepping back, breathless.
Thomas rolled his eyes up to the ceiling as he wiped his now swollen lips with her feverish kiss before simply lying prostrate, helpless as he watched her intentionally avoid his gaze as she picked up her suitcases.
She walked past him without a word or a glance before continuing on her way to her bedroom door without looking back. He wasn't really surprised. Adele had always been cruel. She was like him on this point. She was unforgivable with her enemies. Maybe they really were eventually. Although he doubted it. No, the sense of loss he already felt in his chest had nothing to do with hate. Far from there.
It was probably the most difficult thing she had been given to do.
She felt the tears run down her cheeks as she took the stairs. She stopped in the hall to grab her coat before making her way outside. She saw her mother first as she let out a strangled gasp between her tears before throwing herself at her neck. Adele ignored her hissing breath as she hugged her tightly against her. The last few minutes had made her exceptionally sensitive. She took in her comforting scent. Lilac and wild strawberry. It was the best of all smells for Adele.
"You promise to write to me every day."
Adele let out a sad laugh before swallowing to speak through her tears."Ma, I'm just going to the country. I'm not going to another continent."
"Still." Lucinda insisted."I almost lost you the first time. Promise me, Adele. "
Adele pulled away from her mother with a small smile through her tears as she nodded."I promise you, ma."
"May I take your luggage Miss Lancaster?"
"It's Miss Fitzpatrick." Her mother corrected immediately, leaving Adele to smile despite everything. That was where all her strength came from. It was her mother who had taught her everything. She was indeed her mother's daughter and she was proud of it.
The driver bowed his head in apology."Right. My apologies, Miss. Fitzpatrick."
"It's okay, Mr…"
"Call me Jarvis."He said with a kind smile."I have worked with your grandfather for years. He hired me as your bodyguard from today."
Adele arched an eyebrow, confused."A bodyguard? Why?"
"You are an important member of the company now. And Mr. Lancaster's granddaughter."
Lucinda scoffed."Right. If only he had cared so much about his daughter."
Adele took pity on the man as she motioned for him to pick up her luggage before turning to her mother with an indulgent smile."And then people are surprised that I am being rude."
"Never let yourself be walked over on the pretext that you are a woman." Warns her mother."You're a Fitzpatrick and you are my daughter. This world of the wealthy doesn't know what awaits them."
"Amen!" Seamus intervened as he approached his entire family."Well, it's not that I can't wait to leave this slum but can we go? Jarvis is waiting for us."
Adèle turned to her mother."You promise to take your medicine?"
"Yeah, yeah, she promised." Seamus hissed as he pulled her with him to the back of the Rolls Royce.
Adele gave her mother one last look as she grabbed the door handle before suddenly looking up to her bedroom window at the sensation of a look on her back. She paused as she felt her heart speed up again as she made eye contact with Thomas.
She licked her quivering lips before looking away again as she climbed inside the car.
Jarvis closed the door behind her, forcing her to keep her eyes straight in front of her to keep from turning her head in the direction of her window again.
It was her choice to leave Small Heath.
She was going to make sure to forget the past few months as if they never happened.
She felt the car shake beneath her as the driver switched on the ignition before keeping her eyes on the windshield until they left the brick houses.
And even then she could still feel Thomas' burning gaze on her back.
"You alright?" Seamus whispered as he gave her a sideways look in concern.
"No, Seamus." Adele finally confessed before returning her wet eyes to the outer landscape with her voice heavy with emotion."But I would end up ultimately."
Hey guys!
First of all, I would like to talk about the fact that I am truly saddened by the news of Helen McCrory's passing. She wasn't just the actress who played Polly Gray for me. She rocked my childhood as Narcissa Malfoy and helped me understand a lot about a woman's strength through her person in Peaky Blinders. She was a great actress and an even stronger woman. I really wish I could have met her.
Finally, we finally come to the last chapter of this season. I have already started to write season 2 and I think I will just continue to publish on this book for the sequel, so stay tune.
I expect a lot from your feedback on this last chapter because we arrive at a major point in the relationship between Thomas and Adele.
Sure, I think I'll stop talking and thank you all once again for following me through this journey into the Peaky Blinders universe.
Xxo Imagine-Write-and-Love