I've been meaning to write this up for a while, but I suppose I was hoping I'd get inspired and not have to explain this.

This was my first ever fan-fiction, and my first attempt at writing.

My writing style and basically everything else has all changed so much over time that I can't grant this story any sense of stability.

Any other fic I've written is in third person and I honestly struggle writing this because of that. Comparing this to my other, current fics just feels wrong and it's all too different for me.

The storylines I come up with, the characters, the personalities, the way I describe things... it's all feels like I'm writing something not... me? I guess the saying of it feeling like I'm not in my own skin or something fits better here.

Maybe that makes this a unique story in comparison to everything else I've written, but it's making these chapters take a long time to write and it's overall stressful and depressing on some level.

But as much as I am starting to hate myself and everything to do with this, I don't feel like I can let this go. It's like anything in life for me, I get nostalgic, and I'm filled with regret. I can't let things go.

I have pages and pages of notes on how the story was meant to go, even a couple written out scenes. Everything I have is very detailed because I was overflowing with ideas back then.

I feel bad enough having everyone wait for so long without me at least saying something, but I genuinely didn't know what to do for so long.

So, that's another reason I'm posting this message online for all to see. A couple weeks ago I was about to discontinue this, and for roughly 5 minutes on every site I write this, I'd updated to say it was over, but again, this is bittersweet nostalgia for me, so I deleted the message.

Now, I'm not going to discontinue it, and while it was meant to be more of a surprise in the story, there isn't much left. It was naturally coming to its own end.

For me, it is the 29th of March, just gone midnight. I'm giving myself until the 15th of May to put up the next part of this story, while also giving myself until the 13th of August to finish this story in its entirety.

There's a good chance after that, I'll rewrite this, but that's all, for now.

If anyone read this, I hope you understand. This fic really did make me so happy a while back, but now I'm not really sure where I stand or where anyone stands, for that matter.

Thank you for reading my first ever fan fiction, my first attempt at writing, and being so patient with me!

Seriously, I love you guys so much for your support. Words can't express alone what I mean.

You guys are awesome. I'll be seeing you all in May.