Wrong and Right

I shouldn't be doing this in uniform. That literally is the only thought that registers despite the fact that my ex partner has me held up against the back of his door, my green skirt pulled up to my waist and his cock so far up inside me I feel the tip touching my womb.

He isn't gentle, not for a minute but neither was I when I walked into his apartment, grabbed the back of his head fusing his mouth against mine. I needed that from him, to be stupidly reckless before I turned this burning feeling in my veins on someone else. I dared him to kiss me, raked my nails across his scalp.

The taste of wine on his lips made me realize he may have been a lkttle too inebreated to stop me. I just never expected it to go this far until Harm grabbed me, walked me against his closed door and pressed into me. His fingers pushed my panties out of the way and a surprised groan escaped his lips as he found I was already wet for him.

Our kisses were so intense, so heated he didn't need much encouraging and when I felt his length part my folds I urged him to plunge himself deep into me. "Do it. Take me."

This isn't quite the way I thought that he and I would be together our first time. There should have been dinner, dancing, a warm bed and mutual profession of love and devotion. Instead I'm nothibg but heated flesh desperate to rid myself of a burning itch, anxiety that has been part of me since I left Paraguay.

It needs to be sated someway, to stop the terrible thoughts that won't let me sleep combined with the anguish at knowing just how bad I've ruined his life. Even as he takes me, as my body tingles with anticipation of its release, I want to cry. This is wrong...so wrong but Lord it's the first good thing I've felt in months.

"Ugh." My head hits the back of the door and Harm's hands are gripping tightly to my hips, fingers digging in so hard, I know they will leave a mark. He's driving impossibly harder into me and I feel my feminine juices, sliding down my thigh. I've never been this wet before. I've also never wanted a man, any man as much as I want him.

"Fuck Mac!" He curses, stopping his movement to reach around the front and drop the jacket off my shoulders. The blouse follows next although the buttons had previously been pulled from their eyelets, my naked breasts resting along the cups of my bra from when Harm had uncovered them to suck on one and then the other.

It's so incredibly erotic, this release of sexual tension that has been the base of our relationship from the begining. Combustible. Intense. Wrong. So...so wrong and I still beg for him to slam into me harder and erase the mistakes I made.

"Don't stop." My eyes lock onto his for the first time since this started and the unbridled lust I expect to find isn't there. Apprehension, sadness and fear turn his blue irises a stormy grey. He knows we've gone too far and that after this moment, things will never be the same. "Finish. I need you to finish."

"Not like this." He slips out of me, a sensation that makes me feel empty from the very depths of my soul. Harm belonged there, inside if me, linked even if this moment in time was of the stolen variety - even if he hates me for it later. I try to reach for him but instead he grabs me, taking my body into his arms as he makes way to the bedroom.

I'm grateful it isn't too far away and that, without missing a beat, he deposits me onto the center of the mattress and makes quick work of stripping off my skirt and panties. I want to be vulnerable to him, to that hot gaze that skims my body as if he'd never had a nude woman in his bed before.

Harm's eyes intently focus on my body, fully undressing so that he is deliciously naked in front of me. Christ, he's lovely. His time in the CIA has filled him out so that he is no longer the Stickboy I made fun of. His chest is wider with the most perfect peppering of hair. The ripple of his abs fan out into a 'V' that points down to his impressive length which beckons me to taste him.

Licking my lips makes his eyes darken and the intense gaze is all lust and desire. Before he has a chance to reach for me, I flip over, crawl to the edge of the bed and take him in my mouth. He's big, heavy and thick. The taste of both of us coates his wonderful cock.

I've wanted this too, dreamt of it. I want him so bad that I am more than willing to do every little salacious thing he would request of me and more. It's when I suck the tip that his breath rushes out of his lungs and his hips jut forward so that I can take more of him.

I look up to find him watching, seeing the strain in his face from not forcing me to take more than I physically can. My mouth his ravenous and I hunger to taste his seed, swallow down every last drop but for some reason Harm stops me.

The man has the will power of a saint, most men would have forced me to finish and left me hot and bothered. Instead he raises me up, positions my body so that I am laying on my back in his bed. Big, rough hands part my thighs leaving me spread wide before him. He knows all of my secrets now even the tattoo that has graced my hip for twenty years.

Harm kisses the spot and a sexy smile spreads across his lips at the revelation. He doesn't enter me again like I hoped he would insteaf I see his dark head disappear between my thighs. "Oh!"

The first lick from his tongue felt like an electric shock had overtaken my entire body. A second lick had me pressing my sex against his hot mouth. Just as relentless with me as I'd been with him, Harm's lips sucked at my clit while his fingers slipped in and out of me.

I become nothing more than a quivering mess, a plaything for him to tease at will. God, I would have done anything to beg him not to stop and he didn't simply stroked at my most sensitve spots ubtil the most powerful orgasm took me over the edge and had me screaming his name.

I've never been a screamer. I'm far too reserved and embarassed to engage in such audible displays of sex but, he pulled it out of me. Made me scream and convulse and nearly pass out from the sheer pleasure. I barely had a chance to recover for a second later, Harm's parting my clenched thighs, his body resting between them with a familarity that made my heart ache.

He enters me slowly, the tip of his length thrusting in-and-out in such a slow rythm it brings me to the brink of madness. I hate him for this, the finite control he held which, in effect Harm branished over me. It forced my hips to push back, my hungry sex wanting him deep inside, claiming my body as his.

"This is so wrong." Harm says, his voice holding nothing but pain. Pain and anguish while he pierces me just an inches and nothing more. My eyes flicker onto his and I hold his gaze to find the despair that matches my own, an ache that hurts as bad as I do. It's a bond we've shared since the beginning, the want to destroy this sexual tension although we know it will take a part of us as well.

I want to scream when he pulls out and desperatly try to reach for him but Harm grabs my wrist too tight for me break free. "You're not mine. You belong to someone else and I swore to myself I'd never let this happen between us."

"I don't belong to anyone." I belong to you! I long to scream and make him understand.

"Webb."

The surname shakes me to the bone because I realize he'd never gotten over seeing me kiss the spook in Paraguay. My God, what lies had been fed to him? What was Harm's own mind leading him to believe that I'd never be interested in Clay?

I sit up, my body coming up to his so that my hands are free to cup his face. He shivers when I touch him, moans as my lips brush his. "I'm not with Webb. Whatever you've been told, it's all wrong."

His eyes search for the answers in mine but it only takes a moment for Harm to see I've told him the truth. I can tell by the way his body relaxes against mine, the way his eyes darken with desire again. He gently strokes the side of my face and lets a finger drop from my lips, down my neck and between the valley of my breasts. His lips meet mine, kissing like he loves me and found the meaning of life between my lips.

No, he doesn't say a word but the movement of his body speaks volumes. His answer is to part my folds with his glorious length, sheathing himself to the hilt. I feel this union of bodies and souls, something I would have given my everything to experience so many years ago.

We move together this time with a sweeping desire the two of us should have consummated long ago. He says my name - Sarah - repeating it like a chant as it's the only way to erase the dark thoughts from his mid. When we come it's together, his body buried deep inside mine, fingers brushing over my clit to bring me the highest of ecstasy.

I never experienced that before, never had a man wait for me to join him. I felt it in the way he tensed this body, holding back until I clenched at his cock, milking the very essence out of his hard shaft until thick liquid exploded within me.

A strangled cry and his heavy body collapses over mine, an act I hated from past lovers and yet, find myself craving from Harm. I hold his body against mine, wrap my legs tighter around his torso when he tried to roll off of me. "No. Stay. I want to feel you like this."

Again, he doesn't say a word simply drops his head by the crook of my shoulder where I feel his lips teasing just below my ear.

"I love you." The words spill from my lips although I'm unsure if this was the time or place to express such sentiments. To be honest, I can't lie to myself anymore and I won't Lie to him either. I take a breath and speak again. "I've loved you for so so long."

"Why 'never'?"

Never. That word haunted me from the second I said them. It was a way to free myself from a man I thought didn't want me. A way to absolve him of that incessant need to watch my six. I never thought he'd take it to heart or that such a small word would hurt so much. "Because I thought you didn't want me."

He sighs and it sounds heartbreakingly desperate. "I guess I didn't give you a reason to think I did."

Harm shifts, coming up and slipping his arms beneath mind so that he's holding himself up on his forearms. His face is a mere inch away from mine; those blue eyes are almost pale now, turning a greyish hue that I have never seen him before.

Regret. Nothing pure regret. Oh Harm.

"I'm sorry." He says and repeats the phrase over and over while pressing kisses onto my lips. "I hope it's clear now that I want you...I want you so bad I can barely stop myself from thinking of you."

He never pulled out of me despite coming. We're still joined, his length sheathed by the lock of my body. I feel him move inside me, twitching in anticipation as he swelled and hardened. I'm shocked and awed that I have this effect on him, flattered to the point that I blush when his hips push into me and I call his name.

"I love you too much. So much that I can't explain."

"Then show me." I dare him and feel his length pull out and thrust into me over and over again. This is so right.